Relationship Boredom: Fatal or Curable?

DRAGGING YOURSELF BACK UP AFTER HITTING ROCK BOTTOM

by Nada Abdelkader

We’ve all been there before. Life is really not going your way and there’s trouble grabbing you at every end. This is something we’ve all dealt with, to a degree. Except this time the trouble is different. It won’t end anytime soon and you can tell the consequences aren’t going to go away in a day or even a week. This is your life now.

Except, is it really?

Rock bottom is the worst spot you can be in because you cannot get lower. There isn’t an exact definition of what it contains, but that’s only because rock bottom is different for everyone.

So, how do you know you’re there? It’s no exaggeration to say it’s the scariest, darkest place a person can be in. You’re living every time you’ve ever felt that things cannot get any worse and this time, it’s actually real. You’ve reached the end of your rope.

Hitting the lowest point still doesn’t spell out the end for you, even if it feels like it.

There are many methods to drag yourself out of rock bottom, though. None more reliable than the five stages of grief—denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance.

DON’T LEAVE ROOM FOR DENIAL, BE CRITICAL The more horrible things are, the more we do to try to deny the truth. It’s basic human nature. We tend to turn a blind eye when we don’t want to confront our realities, especially when it’s something that takes great effort.

At this point in life, you can’t self- deceive any longer. you must confront yourself and your choices, no matter how painful it is to revisit them. ACCEPTANCE IS THE LAST STAGE OF GRIEF, BUT IT’S NOT THE LAST STAGE FOR YOU This is the most important point in this process because acceptance is the final step in closure.

You need to accept what happened to move on. You won’t be able to change past mistakes or regrets, no matter how much you dwell. It’ll only draw in the negativity to you.

In this stage, you’ll discover what you should have appreciated in life and you’ll appreciate it much more. You’ll also discover a magnificent inner strength that will sustain you in upcoming problems.

THERE’S NO SHAME IN NEEDING HELP Just because the stages of grief are done doesn’t mean we still don’t have additional advice to give. There’s still something else we should say. Something that might be forgotten because of its simplicity.

Asking for help isn’t shameful. Feeling like a burden when you reach out is sadly all-too-common, but it shouldn’t be. Don’t give in to these ideas and reach out to your nearest and dearest.

One thing you should keep in mind, though, that reaching out isn’t an excuse to transfer bad energies to others. Don’t inflict pain just because you’re trying to rid yourself of it.

ANGER IS CLEANSING, BUT TOO MUCH OF A GOOD THING TURNS UGLY It’s never advised to allow your anger to roam, but special times call for special means.

Anger can make you pinpoint exactly where and when you’ve felt your worst, which will then help you realize just why you’re not okay. Then, you’ll only have to purge out all these bad things—toxic friends, unhealthy habits—that have once overshadowed your life.

IT’S OKAY TO FEEL SAD FOR YOURSELF AT YOUR LOWEST Because there’s no bargaining in rock bottom, we’ll go straight to depression, the most infamous stage in this process. Rock bottom isn’t exactly fun, so we can understand the prevalence of this stage. And it’s perfectly okay.

You should allow yourself time to feel the pain. You should allow yourself this degree of compassion because you’ve fallen on hard times.

You shouldn’t, however, let this sadness get to the point of pity because this is a ladder that only goes down. ACTIVELY TRY TO CHANGE YOUR LIFE After all is said and done, nothing will change if you don’t actively try to take the initiative.

You have to keep on learning because, no matter how old you are, life will keep on changing and we have to change to deal with it. If you don’t adapt, chances are you’ll lead yourself back to square one.

Changes can be done through the little things, too. Use this off-time to get in touch with yourself, get more fresh air, try to enjoy your own company, get a journal and write anything you have on your mind— goals, feelings, to-do lists. No matter how small something is, you’ll still feel the ripples of its effects.

Rock bottom might sound like the heaviest burden to bare, but it will eventually be something of the past, with adequate work and effort, of course. You will need this determination because the number one person in your life is you.