Q&A with student’s siblings

Q&A: Younger siblings discuss the college transition

By Marissa Meador

marnmead@iu.edu

Going to college can be a big transition for students themselves, but siblings and other family members also struggle with the changes. Before leaving for college, I shared a room with my 17-year-old sister for 12 years, so we spent a lot of time together. My brother, an incoming middle schooler, sarcastic and sometimes grouchy, would take occasional breaks from Fortnite and play a board or video game with me. To get their perspectives on what it was like to have a sibling move out, I talked to my sister Ella and my brother Zach about the good and bad of the college transition.

What was it like for me to leave for college?

Ella: It came very suddenly. It didn’t hit me until the night before. And it took a while to get used to you not being there. For example, I had to do more things we used to do together alone, like getting coffee or going thrifting.

Zach: It was weird having you around all the time in the summer and then never seeing you.

How did things change in the house?

E: I would walk out to the living room and there would be nobody there. Like how Mom and Dad usually sit out there and watch TV — they just didn’t anymore. That was weird. Sometimes I’d be about to go to bed in the room we used to share and I would say “Hey, can you get the lights,” because I would forget you weren’t there.

Z: You weren’t always talking to Mom and Dad at night.

Was there anything good about me leaving?

E: It would be easier to determine who stole food. It was always Zach.

Z: Yes. I get more food for myself.

How should younger siblings deal with not having another sibling in the house?

E: Make sure you text and call your older sibling. I would also listen to songs that reminded me of my sister sometimes, and that helped.

Z: Get another sibling, I guess. Or hang out with friends more.

What should parents do to help their other children adjust when a sibling moves out?

E: It would be nice if parents did the things siblings used to do with their older sibling. Like sometimes Dad and I would get coffee. Also, not talking about the older sibling like they’re dead — they just went to college.

Z: Maybe offering to take them places or doing more stuff with them.

COURTESY PHOTO Marissa Meador poses with her younger brother Zach and younger sister Ella in 2013.