Prune & Bloom

The Pandemic Prune

WITH ALISON BARINGER ENGLISH, CFEE

There are infinite disastrous effects from a global pandemic. We have all lived through this pandemic for a year now; I don’t need to list them out - we’ve lived it. Nothing can replace the lives of those loved ones we have lost. The loss of health, of businesses, of industries, of goals and dreams.

In the grand scheme of things, there is no silver lining, no perspective shift that overcomes all the above. Period. However, as the eternal optimist, I do choose to see if there is a shred of good woven somewhere, anywhere, deep into the tapestry of suck that is the pandemic.

Am I pro-pandemic because of this? Of course not. Since my father passed away, the women in my family have become closer. Would I exchange this in a millisecond to have my dad back? Sorry ladies, but I do not need even that millisecond to decide. The new closeness I feel towards them, however, is still a good thing.

I’m here today to share a good thing I think has come from the pandemic…and I’m going to call it the pandemic prune.

The definition of “prune” according to Merriam Webster is as follows:

“To reduce especially by eliminating superfluous matter;” “To remove as superfluous;” “To cut off or cut back parts of for better shape or more fruitful growth”

The pandemic prune, in many ways, has been forced upon us. Governmental closings, restrictions on gatherings, social distancing regulations and more - an infinite number of things have been removed from our lives without our asking. Many of these removed things are not “superfluous.” But, for the average American, I bet a good amount of these things are. (For those needing the definition of superfluous: “unnecessary, especially through being more than enough.”). In my pre-Covid life I had more than enough activities and expectations on my time.

If I allow myself to be 100% honest, it has been kind of nice to be home on the weekends. To cook dinner in my home each weeknight. I enjoyed seeing families in the neighborhood ride their bikes together. Sitting on my porch swing, with a good book. I have heard stories of siblings growing closer - becoming friends and playmates again.

Maybe it was time for us to prune back our lives? A chance to take stock of our surroundings, and find out what truly mattered to us? A reckoning even, perhaps?

Gardeners know the benefits of pruning. You cut the dead, dry, brown parts off a plant and voila! - not only does the plant immediately look better, but you will see continued improvement in it for days and weeks to come. The plant can now focus its energy on the healthy matter - which helps it flourish and grow stronger.

What if we used the pandemic pause to cut out the unhealthy parts of our lives… and came out of this time stronger and more beautiful?

What if we turned this idea of pruning inward, and discover how it can apply to us, as human beings? Pruning our thoughts, our habits, and our goals. As it relates to yourself, your work, your relationships.

Let this sink in for a moment…to trim off the dead matter in our lives and focus energies on the healthy, living matter - which helps YOU flourish and grow stronger, more beautiful.

What kinds of things would you prune? What would you consider “dead weight” in your life? Maybe it is your attitude towards your body, or your weight. Maybe it’s your procrastination. Maybe it is that resentment or grudge you feel towards a family member. Maybe it’s the image of the perfect little life you thought you were going to have, white-picket fence and all. (Whew - have I been hacking away at this one recently!)

Perhaps it is something work related that needs a pruning. A regular meeting that never yields any results. Your volunteer program, that’s stuck in the ‘80s. An attitude towards a boss or a board member. An event that has not been fruitful for years. Your fear and refusal to incorporate new technology into the workplace.

Your pruning can be towards a thought - one we continually have which only holds us back. Or maybe it is a habit that started years ago; one that just doesn’t propel you forward anymore. It can just as easily be a goal, that maybe you are still fighting for but just does not serve your new self. It can be an event, an idea, a feeling.

Now that we have some thoughts on what to prune…what’s next?

Accessorize! We need to make sure we have the right tools. When you prune in a garden you need pruning shears or clippers. You may want a blanket or a pad to kneel on for those low spots, and a ladder for those high spots. Gardening gloves are recommended, to protect your hands.

Just as in gardening, tools are going to make it easier for you to prune your life. What tools do you need to tackle this self-improvement?

You are going to need something strong enough to cut the dead and broken pieces away. I am not going to recommend any kind of knife or shear here – that seems dangerous, won’t work on everything, and could turn into a criminal offense! No, the strength you are going to need here is YOU. Are you in a strong mental position? Strong physically and emotionally? Cutting things out of your life, especially life-changing or sentimental things, can be hard and you need to be ready for this struggle.

How do you put yourself in a strong mental position? Get enough sleep. Journal. Exercise. Practice yoga and meditation. Drink water. Eat healthy, natural foods. Basically, everything doctors have been telling us to do for years.

Now that we have the main pruning tool down (YOUR strength), let us look at tools which will assist in your pruning experience- like that kneeling pad or ladder for our gardeners. What tools can help make this extraction from your life easier? Knowledge is power. Whether you are pruning away a toxic relationship, an addiction, negative self-talk, or an event or program from your life, you can find a book on it. Or a hundred Google articles. How to change your habits, how to negotiate, how to increase your self-confidence, how to say no…so much information is out there.

If reading is not your thing, ask around. People HAVE been through your situation before, even if you think you are the only one. Find an expert, a confidant - sometimes strangers can even be the perfect sounding board.

For those pruning something from your work life - you are in luck! The IFEA is a plethora of knowledge at your fingertips. Do not be afraid to ask around…there is someone who has experienced what you are trying to do. We have roadmaps, tips and tricks, and best practices. Grab our toolkit and use it.

Finally, in this pruning adventure - the gloves. We sometimes need protection to shield us from the nicks and cuts that can occur during a pruning. For me, my safe harbor has always been my friends. Confidantes who know and love me, who can shield, if even just a little bit, the harshness life throws at us sometimes. People who know your desired outcomesyour vision for your pruning, who will bear some of the sharp edges with you. IFEA is a great resource here as well. Make and feed those friendships with your industry professionals. We speak the same language and live in similar gardens.

The pandemic pause has given us an opportunity to make the great pandemic prune. As we (hopefully, cautiously optimistically soon!) begin to get back to our “pre-Covid” lives, let us be intentional about what we let back into it. A pruned garden makes the most beautiful garden.

Alison Baringer English. CFEE is the Executive Director of the North Carolina Azalea Festival. She is a Leadership Wilmington graduate of 2013 and was President of the Junior League of Wilmington in 2014-2015. In 2019, Alison was selected into the inaugural class of the WilmingtonBiz 100, an initiative of the Greater Wilmington Business Journal to recognize the top power players, influencers, innovators, and connectors in the region. The Star News selected Alison as a Top 40 Under 40 business leader in 2020. Alison currently serves on the International Festival and Events Association (IFEA) Foundation Board as Chair-Elect and the UNC-Wilmington Alumni Board on the Executive Committee in the role of Secretary.

WWW.KALIFF.COM