Prune & Bloom

WITH ALISON BARINGER ENGLISH, CFEE

A SEASON AMONGST THE FAULT LINES

I have always loved the concept of seasons in our lives. It does my little heart (and probably even more so, my mind) good to know there is an ebb and a flow, a rhythm, a ying and a yang. An order, somewhere hidden amidst the chaos of life.

A song I loved to listen to when I was younger (thanks to Forrest Gump and my old, old soul), is The Byrds “Turn! Turn! Turn!”

They sing:

“There is a season (turn, turn, turn) And a time to every purpose, under heaven

A time to be born, a time to die A time to plant, a time to reap A time to kill, a time to heal A time to laugh, a time to weep”

I have thought about seasons a lot over the past year. I suppose big life changes like pandemics, divorce, and death can be a catalyst for these types of thoughts. Knowing there is an existence of such seasons brings a certain comfort, perhaps a nod to the realization that these things are “normal,” or “a part of life,” … part of the bigger picture, so to speak. Hopefully in the life span of one individual, these tough life-altering experiences do not become the norm, but in the grand scheme of the world and human existence, they happen. Often. There is a time to die, a time to kill (dreams, plans, events, etc.), a time to weep; and it is all part of the overall being of the world.

I have given thought recently to the season we all seem to be traveling in together, right now. The (dare I say it) … transition from pandemic to post-pandemic.

I hesitate to even mention this transition - communities all around the world are still dealing with the pandemic at vastly different stages and severities. But the fact remains, whether rightly so or not, many people are transitioning back into a form of “pre-pandemic” life.

In my home of North Carolina, this transition season began during April/May. Mask mandates lifted, caps on attendance and social distancing lifted…and what we have all been waiting for – EVENTS returned. I attended my first large, public gathering in May. It was a concert at a local bar in a strip mall on the outskirts of downtown. The 90’s band Everclear was playing, on a make-shift stage behind the building.

It was a mess. Not enough bathrooms. Weird VIP ticket options with little to no signage or guidance to what/where those tiers were. Not enough food.

It was also glorious. Friends, laughing and hugging. LIVE MUSIC! Dancing in the parking lot.

For many of us, our events are in a season of change. We may be at a different time of year. We may be short staffed. Our vendors may not be able to provide their same level of service, because of staffing issues. And we all are thinking, even more than we normally do, about health and safety.

This is a season of uncertainty.

For the North Carolina Azalea Festival, everything is different. Normally five days in April; we’ve shifted to “Celebrating all twenty twenty-one long.” We still held a “Festival” in April; with a tour of 74 (for our 74th year) mini community stops with Queen Azalea, to a virtual Sun Run 5K, to an intimate three nights of a Chefs’ Series. We spent more quality time with our sponsors, versus a large public grand event.

We are in plans to bring back our large, public events in July and August. A 3,500-person Garden Party, a three-day Street Fair, a grand Parade, and three nights of 7,000+ concert crowds.

And IT. FEELS. WEIRD. We are not used to spreading our planning and resources out over the summer. Our volunteer leadership isn’t in that normal spring-time flow of planning. Sponsors are not used to attending events throughout three months, and certainly not in the summer. We must actually alert the community to when our events are taking place. And added provisions for excessive heat; August in coastal North Carolina has much, much different weather than April in coastal North Carolina.

And the supply chain issues. Labor shortages. Interns not available at this time of year. Golf cart rentals already booked up for the summer. Staple vendors, who sadly did not make it through Covid, forcing our hand at sourcing and training new help.

Perhaps one of the hardest obstacles to grasp – the psychological toll we all are facing. In an NCB Los Angeles interview, Dr. Bridget Callaghan, UCLA assistant professor of psychology and director of UCLA’s Brain and Body Lab, stated that long term, chronic stress from an ongoing crisis – like a global pandemic – can essentially “max out” the brain’s ability to deal with new challenges.

“Day after day…it just eventually wears us down, to the point that we’re not able to cope with things properly,” Callaghan said. “That’s why everyday relationship, family, money, or job problems that would have been manageable before, may feel completely overwhelming in the wake of the pandemic.”

George A. Bonarro, in his book, The Other Side of Sadness, states, “…each of us has only so much psychological energy to invest, and we have to use it economically.”

What should I pack for lunch today? What am I going to wear to go into the office? Will my dog make it all day alone? How many wristbands do I need for this event? Who will manage the volunteer tent?

These are all seemingly trivial things, but we need to remember we are coming off A YEAR + of seemingly life and death decisions. Do I trust this person to enter my social circle? Which grocery store was it that had that a recent outbreak? Do I keep my children home from school? Is it safe to fly to go see family? Regardless of your stance on the severity of the virus, it was all the world was talking about for a year. And it was heavy. And it takes its toll.

And the constant barrage of loss, swirling around us daily – be it death, loss of jobs, loss of security, the economy…. is it any wonder we all went a little batty? (Bad pun; apologies).

So how do we cope with this season of uncertainty? When workers do not want to work, or their minds are not working as normal? When our scheduling and workflow is all off? When it takes all your energy just to make that commute each day?

I look for examples of others who have successfully navigated seasons of uncertainty. Suleika Jaouad, in her book Between Two Kingdoms: A Memoir of a Life Interrupted, leads us through her uncertain season so eloquently. From her biography: Born in New York City to a Tunisian father and a Swiss mother, Suleika Jaouad’s career aspirations as a foreign correspondent were cut short when, at age 22, she was diagnosed with leukemia. She began writing the acclaimed New York Times column and video series “Life, Interrupted” from the front lines of her hospital bed, and has since become a fierce advocate for those living with illness and chronic pain.

As Jaouad says,” After you’ve had the ceiling cave in on you - whether through illness or some other catastrophe – you don’t assume structural stability. You must learn to live on fault lines.”

I am grateful it took me until I was 38 to experience my own life on the fault lines. My father, my person, taken by pancreatic cancer. The Covid -19 pandemic, and cancellation of our industry. My divorce. I had so many fault lines there was not a safe step for miles.

And what I learned during my season on the fault lines, and what I have learned from others such as Jaouad – is that this season, as uncertain and chaotic as it is – is also a blessing and our path to growth. Grace is paramount. Grace with a ton of courage to keep fighting, month by month, day by day, minute by minute, even second by second if need be. Lean into the sharp points but give yourself grace when it hurts like hell. We are all doing this with our events, and have been for the past year and a half.

Pema Chodron, in her book, When Things Fall Apart, tells us, “Everything that occurs is not only usable and workable but is actually the path itself. We can use everything that happens to us as the means for waking up.”

The pandemic has given all of us that loud, obnoxious wake up call. How we choose to answer this call may just be what separates the good events from the great events.

Some tips I have acquired from my dance amongst the fault lines:

• Whenever anything feels out of control, set intentional, dedicated time to pause and organize it.

I have read copious amounts of business and self-help books in my life, and almost all talk about setting up processes to accomplish goals, set habits, and achieve. Organization breeds processes, which breeds habits, which breeds progress.

James Clear, in his book, Atomic Habits, states:

“If you’re having trouble changing your habits, the problem isn’t you. The problem is your system. Bad habits repeat themselves again and again not because you don’t want to change, but because you have the wrong system for change. You do not rise to the level of your goals. You fall to the level of your systems.”

• Surround yourself with people traveling your same path.

People have gathered in clubs since the beginning of time for a reason. Comfort and experience are life-giving during times of uncertainty. For me, it was talking to friends who have already lost a parent, or friends who have already been divorced. It is also reaching behind you and pulling forward those who are earlier down that same path. Friends with parents recently diagnosed with terminal cancer, friends newly separated. Sometimes helping them helps you see just how far you have traveled.

For us in the events industry, we find these people in the event planners for every single event across the world that has had to pivot and re-imagine in keeping the community spirit and engagement up and events alive. Luckily, we have the IFEA to serve as the perfect meeting place for this. I attended the Philadelphia Flower Show for the first time this summer. They pivoted dates (March to June), and re-imagined the venue from an indoor space to an outdoor space. Just hearing them tell humorous behind-the-scenes stories of guests behaving badly brought so much lightness to my heart, and renewed inspiration for my own upcoming events. And the hearing and seeing of what they did to navigate a post-pandemic large-scale event with huge changes and uncertainties was also inspiring.

• Just keep moving, no matter how small the movement.

Disney has it right with this one. Dory in Finding Nemo has a famous line, “Just keep swimming.” Anna in Frozen II sings, “Do the next right thing.” For the non-animated zombie movie lovers, Brad Pitt says in World War Z, “Movement is life.”

As event planners, I think we excel more than most living among the fault lines and in seasons of change. We crave a certain excitement in forming something from nothing. Chodron says, “Like all explorers, we are drawn to discover what’s waiting out there without knowing yet if we have the courage to face it,” and also, “what we call obstacles are really the way the world and our entire experience teach us where we’re stuck.”

We have been given this once-in-a-lifetime opportunity, where we are all traveling together in this same season, to face the uncertainty and vividly see where we may have been stuck in the past. Organize, gather, and just keep moving. I cannot wait to see how we come out changed on the other side..

Alison Baringer English. CFEE is the Executive Director of the North Carolina Azalea Festival. She is a Leadership Wilmington graduate of 2013 and was President of the Junior League of Wilmington in 2014-2015. In 2019, Alison was selected into the inaugural class of the WilmingtonBiz 100, an initiative of the Greater Wilmington Business Journal to recognize the top power players, influencers, innovators, and connectors in the region. The Star News selected Alison as a Top 40 Under 40 business leader in 2020. Alison currently serves on the International Festival and Events Association (IFEA) Foundation Board as Chair-Elect and the UNC-Wilmington Alumni Board on the Executive Committee in the role of Secretary.

WWW.KALIFF.COM