Prune & Bloom

WITH ALISON BARINGER, CFEE

IT’S THE MOST WONDERFUL TIME OF THE YEAR

One of my most favorite times of the year is that gloriously awkward week between Christmas and New Year’s. You’ve probably seen the meme about it: “That time between Christmas and the New Year when you don’t know what day it is, who you are, or what you’re supposed to be doing.”

I love this time of year because I use it for ME time. I take stock of my past year and dream about what I want the future year to be like. I envision the type of person I want to become, or a character trait I want to improve. I don’t call these New Year’s Resolutions; these seem to have an inherent connection to us failing at them. No, I don’t set resolutions…I look at who I want to become and set mini-goals to get myself there.

But what a big question this is…who do you want to become?! I don’t think our society spends enough time pondering this question. I suspect it’s because our culture doesn’t allow much time for pondering at all, which is a topic for another day. There are tools to help you answer this question though, and I’d like to share a few of them with you below.

Review Your Journals

Writing nerds, unite! If you don’t keep a journal, I encourage THIS to be your first step this year. More than anything this could be the catalyst for your greatest change; if you don’t believe me, just Google “Why It’s Good to Keep a Journal.” Here’s what I write in mine:

• 3-5 things I am grateful for, each day, bonus points if it’s a full 1-2 sentences of why you are thankful for this thing (P.S. even in the hardest of times, there is always something to be thankful for – air to breathe, water to drink, laundry machines, true crime documentaries, SO MANY THINGS!)

• Anything I highlighted/underlined in a book I read: I do this immediately after I finish a book so I can summarize my key take-aways and have them easily accessible for later

• Talks with God/the Universe/the Energies of the world: I do this when something is on my mind and I want or need to flush it out. Ok, now that we’re writing in our journals, why do we review them? I started the reviewing practice only a few years ago, and it’s become a favorite! I love seeing all the blessings I’ve had in my life that year, and all the knowledge I’ve taken from authors. I also can see how far I’ve come (and, regrettably, how far I have yet to go). Another great take away is noticing trends in things I am thankful for and making sure I implement more of that in the next year. Examples of this would be my morning quiet time journaling/reading, stopping to watch my dog play with her toys, and sitting outside on my patio.

Ok, now that we’re writing in our journals, why do we review them? I started the reviewing practice only a few years ago, and it’s become a favorite! I love seeing all the blessings I’ve had in my life that year, and all the knowledge I’ve taken from authors. I also can see how far I’ve come (and, regrettably, how far I have yet to go). Another great take away is noticing trends in things I am thankful for and making sure I implement more of that in the next year. Examples of this would be my morning quiet time journaling/reading, stopping to watch my dog play with her toys, and sitting outside on my patio.

My One Word

This one comes from a local church. From Port City Community Church’s website:

• Step One: Determine the Kind of Person You Want to Become

• Step Two: Identify the Characteristics of That Person How would you describe the person you want to become? What aspects of your heart need your attention?

• Step Three: Pick Your Word Post this word on your desk, in your phone…anywhere you need to see it. Remember the word when you feel stressed, anxious, overwhelmed, or sad. My One Word for 2022 is TRUST.

If you want more information on My One Word, there is a book that will fill you in. Check out My One Word: Change Your Life with Just One Word, by Mike Ashcraft and Rachel Olsen.

Personal Retreat

This same church has an end-of-year journaling retreat .pdf that you can print off and work through at home. It is heavily Christian based, so if that isn’t your jam you may want to skip this one. Check it out at: www.portcity.church/personalretreat. I would suspect there are year-end or “take stock of your life,” activities for most religions and faiths that would be beneficial.

Review Your Past Year’s Calendar

This one was truly eye-opening for me. For this you take a piece of paper and divide it into two columns. Then, review your calendar week-by-week, day-by-day, starting in January. If any item or meeting makes you feel negative, it goes in one column on your paper. If an item or meeting makes you feel happy and warm, you put it in the other column on your paper.

When reviewing your list, you’ll discover the types of activities you really enjoy, and the ones you maybe should try to do less of in the next year (or find a way to make them more enjoyable). This discovery will help point you in the direction of your true self, where you are truly happiest.

Brainstorm About Life Balance

In their book, The 12 Week Year, Brian P. Moran and Michael Lennington describe the seven areas of life balance as:

• Spiritual

• Spouse/Partner

• Family

• Community

• Physical

• Personal

• Business

Take some time to sit and think about where you are in each of these areas. Does one need work more than the others? What areas, if you improve them, would drastically change your life or those of your family, friends, or co-workers? In five years, what do you want your life in each of these areas to look like? How do you start today to make them happen?

All of the above activities are designed to point a light on the type of person you have been…and can help shine that light forward into who you can become. Armed with this knowledge, you can then sit down and feel confident in who you want to become. Brainstorm the characteristics, skills, and habits of that kind of person, and then set daily, weekly, and monthly goals to get there.

Don’t forget to journal about it…and this time next year you can sit back with a good book (the book of YOU!) and be amazed at your year!

Alison Baringer, CFEE is the Executive Director of the North Carolina Azalea Festival. She is a Leadership Wilmington graduate of 2013 and was President of the Junior League of Wilmington in 2014-2015. In 2019, Alison was selected into the inaugural class of the WilmingtonBiz 100, an initiative of the Greater Wilmington Business Journal to recognize the top power players, influencers, innovators, and connectors in the region. The Star News selected Alison as a Top 40 Under 40 business leader in 2020. Alison currently serves on the International Festival and Events Association (IFEA) Foundation Board as Chair and the UNC-Wilmington Alumni Board on the Executive Committee in the role of Secretary.

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