Linda Voyles: The Journey of Love, Marriage and Family

PETS IN WEDDINGS

Pets play important roles in their owner’s lives and are increasingly included in more activities, such as vacations, dining out and even weddings. The National Association of Professional Pet Sitters says more couples are customizing their wedding celebrations and bridal parties to include pets. Dogs and cats are turning up in wedding photos as well as trips down the aisle. Some pets even serve as ring bearers. Before giving your pet a job for the wedding, consider his personality and temperament. How does the pet react around crowds? A dog or cat accustomed to a quiet home may behave differently when placed in a room full of excited people. In addition, confirm that pets are allowed inside your ceremony space. Certain venues may not allow animals that are not service dogs. Make sure to inform guests that an animal will be present, so those with allergies can take precautions. If it isn’t practical to have animals in the ceremony, give them a primary spot in wedding or engagement photos.

Factors to consider before including Fido in your wedding

Pets are full-fledged members of many families and even, apparently, families-tobe. In its 2016 American Wedding Study, Brides magazine found that 8 percent of wedding ceremonies included pets. While the couples of yester-year might have left Fido at home, many of today’s couples want their four-legged friends to be there

on their big day. Though no studies to date have examined which animals are most likely to make an appearance at couples’ nuptials, it’s fair to assume that dogs, which tend to get out of the house more than most other types of pets, are the most common furry bridesmaids, groomsmen or ring bearers. Before including dogs in their wedding plans, couples may want to consider a few factors to ensure asking Fido to be there come the big day is what’s best for couples, their guests and, of course, their beloved pooches.

Eligibility

Some venues do not allow pets that are not documented assistance animals on the premises. Confirm a venue’s pet policy before purchasing any wedding day attire for your dog. Couples who are intent on including their pets in their wedding ceremonies should only consider pet-friendly facilities, which may be hard to find. Couples who plan to take a limousine to and from their wedding also should confirm that the cars allow pets before booking.

Personality No two dogs are the same. Some dogs might love people and attention, while others might prefer one-on-one time with their owners. Dogs that are sociable and unaggressive may make perfect additions to wedding ceremonies, while animals

that exhibit anxiety around strangers or seem uncomfortable in noisy settings should be kept out of the ceremony.

Health

Dog owners also must consider their pets’ health when deciding whether or not to include them in the wedding ceremony. Couples who bonded over a love of their dog may really hope to include their furry friend in the festivities but should not do so at the expense of the animal’s health. Outdoor wedding ceremonies under sunny skies may produce potentially unhealthy conditions for certain breeds or older dogs. Dogs that have difficulty getting around may need a red wagon (and attendant) to make the rounds at the wedding.

Assistance

Couples will be busy on their wedding days, so they may need to arrange for a caretaker to look after their dog during and after the ceremony. Asking a guest or guests to play this role may be asking too much, as guests will no doubt want to celebrate without having to take care of a dog. A professional pet sitter might work, but that can be costly, as couples must pay for the sitter and will likely need to pay for the sitter to have a seat and a meal during the reception. Dogs can make great additions to weddings, but couples must consider a host of factors before deciding to have Fido join them as they tie the knot.

"A typical day for Al and me was to go to work and do our best, come home and just enjoy whatever the rest of the day had in store for us," she says. "Many days ended with Al singing or humming his favorite song, and we would dance."

She adored the way her Al overcame humble beginning to hurtle all obstacles. Growing up in Childress, Texas he was a standout baseball player, earning an athletic scholarship. He had to give up his education to work on the family farm. He loved his family so much that he never complained about a situation that would have moved most to become bitter.

"I was so lucky to find him and be a part of his love," Linda says.

They were a case of opposites attracting. He was the quiet, polite one while she was outgoing. Both were hard workers who saw the big picture through to the end, when they would enjoy the fruits of their labors. "I would tell my boys, 'You can sit down when you see me sit down,'" she says.

She and Al never forgot to pray. Their faith in the power of prayer carried both through his battle with Alzheimer's.

When he was diagnosed in 2012, they met this dread affliction head-on. She never forgot to remind those they encountered that her husband needed help with his memory. He usually remembered faces, but names were a problem. She would point this out to those they encountered, and of course they were understanding and accommodating. For Al it was a blessing that made him very happy. Refusing to let this disease dictate how they lived, they stayed active in community matters.

Al got involved with Zonta-sponsored Unforgettable Tuesdays. They used and worked with Buckner Westminster Placer for his periodic respite care. Son Dale was a constant companion and source of assistance. Son David never wavered in providing prayer and encouragement. Al had long worked for Voyles Auto Sales and Auto Check, doing state safety inspections, working there until his illness made it impossible.

Linda's real estate/property management job made it possible for her to arrange her schedule to

be available as Al's caregiver. His involvement with Longview AMBUCS (he was a member for 30 years) and her membership in Longview Too AMBUCS (she a member since 1991) were another blessing as she took him to the meetings far as long as possible. Their membership in the Longview Chamber of Commerce was another helpful aspect as Al greatly enjoyed attending ribbon cuttings. He even accompanied her when she showed real estate, and to her office for work.

"It was a challenge taking him out, but we both knew that was what was needed to be done for as long as we could do it," she says.

Al eventually entered a hospice program through Lifecare Home Health. Many of his prescriptions and toiletry expenses were covered by insurance, and an aide would bathe, dress and feed him every morning. His caring, competent hospice volunteer Mary Tower sat with and entertained Al, taking much of the burden off Linda, who advises all those impacted by loved ones' Alzheimer's to seek hospice care as soon as possible. "That was my lifesaver, and it gave Al and me a lot of peace and comfort," she says.

Coping with the scourge of Alzheimer's was something, like every other obstacle in her life, she met head-on. She got early direction by reading The Ten Commandments of Alzheimer's. By following this publication's instructions and with support from her sons as they further researched the affliction, the family was able to make the best of the situation. By working together, they strengthened and supported each other far better than each could have by working alone.

"It takes a team, and accepting that you can't do it alone, and there is help if you look for it is what kept me going," she says.

Education was another blessing. She realized from the start that misinformation and denial of the disease would make her trial harder. She recommends that everyone impacted by Alzheimer's to get on their computer and learn all they can about this horrid sickness. Those working with anyone with dementia must have limitless patience. Anyone being impatient with or who avoids dementia victims robs them of whatever

Linda holds a photo she took in Church with her beloved Al

future they have left. Linda eagerly, confidently awaits Alzheimer's first "White Flower."

"That will be the first survivor of the dreaded disease," she says. "Early detection means longer hope. It is so hard to hear the diagnosis, but the road is easier once everyone is made aware of what to expect on the journey."

Even though Al is gone now, Linda continues her life's journey. She lives each day to its fullest, awakening to her morning prayers to ask for strength and competence one day at a time. She constantly encounters and savors situations that she and Al used to share. She

still feels his loving presence, and hopes many, many others follow her example in combating Alzheimer's. "I hope anyone reading this article will become involved in the Alzheimer's Alliance of East Texas," she says.

Those wishing to help should visit www.etxalz.org. There is also the Dallas-based Alzheimer's Association at www.alz.org. This group hosts the annual Walk to end Alzheimer's. Local support groups can be contacted at www.info@etxalx.org.

Like Linda Lea Voyles', these groups' watchwords are love and compassion.

A Journey of Love, Marriage, Family and Alzheimer’s Linda Voyles:

"Love is a beautiful word. To me, it is unconditional and complete acceptance, allowing someone to be their authentic self. Love allows each to have trust, understanding respect, sensitivity, humor, communication, taking time to hear the music and to dance. All of these and more 'until death do us part.'”

- Linda Voyles

By J o yce l y n e Fad oju t imi

Linda Lea Voyles knows the meaning of love, and always has. She dearly loves her two sons, Dale Lessenberry of Longview, and David Lessenberry of Austin, from her first marriage. She also adores her dogs Harley and Roqie. She and husband Al Voyles were married April 18, 1987 and spent 31 cherished years together before his death from Alzheimer's on March 5, 2018. Her watchword is LOVE.

"Love--that is a beautiful word," she says. "To me it is unconditional and complete acceptance, allowing someone to be exactly as they are. Love allows each to have trust, understanding respect, sensitivity, humor, communication, taking time to hear the music and to dance. All of these and more 'until death do us part.'" She has no concept of life without love. Her soft heart aches for those who feel unloved, and she prays they never stop seeking it. She reminds them that Our

Linda Voyles

Lord loves every one of them/us, and to also try to love themselves. For her and Al, this was never a problem in their entire marriage journey.

They were friends long before their marriage. She describes him as "a remarkable person respected and loved by so many." When it came to Linda, he made the same decision her parents had made in 1941, when they decided to tie the knot. This amazing couple were loved by all, and when they came together at the alter it was a union of pure and unconditional love that was clear to all who knew them. Nowadays, when friends and acquaintances remark on how special her Al was to them, all she can say is, "I know." She lists Al's three main attributes as: compassion, industry, plus the ability and will to always make the most of any situation. As businesspeople, Al and Linda trained early and hard. While attending Houston's Massey Business College, she was tasked with hand addressing and writing

special notes for 3500 Christmas cards to be mailed worldwide by Attorney General Maurice Hersh and a Mr. Westheimer. She moved on to a position within the marketing department of American National Insurance in Galveston, and then back to Houston in the employ of Tenneco Oil Company's credit department. In 1962, she happily trained that company's first black female employee. Four years later, she moved to Longview to take a marketing job with Humble Oil. She worked her way up to become Humble's first female safety chairperson, overseeing the safety training of 100 transport drivers. It was in this capacity that she embraced (to this day) the motto, "Get the big picture." Linda left Humble when it moved her office to Dallas.

She has spent the past 41 years as a realty broker/ associate and does not plan to retire. She serves as secretary of the Longview Federal Credit Union's (Exxon/ Mobile) board of directors. Like almost everything else in her life--she loves what she does. From the start, Linda’s parents pointed her in the right direction.

"My dad fell in love with my mother on first sight and declared to his family and friends that he was going to marry her one day, and he did," she says. Her romantic father did not stop writing love letters and poems to her mother after they were mar

ried. He kept doing it for the rest of his life. Now that they are both in heaven, she is sure he is still declaring his total, unconditional love. She is also certain her mother's famous smile is just as sweet as ever. The Christian faith is a family tradition practiced through the Methodist church. Still, they do not deride other Christian belief systems.

"Our family heritage for as many generations as I have studied have all been involved with the Methodist church, and my church home is First United Methodist Church right here in Longview," she says. "However, as children my brother and I were always allowed to go with friends and attend any denomination we wanted, and to make our choice."

She realized early on that the love her parents shared was something she would not do without as an adult. She and her older brother were born just 19 months apart, and when their father was drafted into the military and sent overseas, the deep love they received from their family made the separation bearable. It formed a priceless family foundation that kept her clan growing as she had a brother born 10 years later, and sister born a full 19 years later. They were all brought up by the same loving father and mother. It made for a smooth, successful transition into her own married/working life.

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