In Love, It's Not Easy to Talk About Money

By MARY HUNT

oney is the most difficult subject to discuss between two people in love. Why? Several reasons:

It's personal. We're taught as children to never ask how much people earn, what things cost or how much money people have. It's rude; it's poor manners; and it is just not done.

We spend the first two decades of our lives keeping anything related to money hush-hush. We learn to skirt the truth in the interest of personal decorum.

We grow up, enter a relationship, and find that it's not easy to suddenly talk about such personal information.

It's not flattering. We wear clothes that flatter our good points and downplay our flaws. We snap a "selfie," and then retake as many times as necessary to get it just right.

MWe take great pains to present ourselves in the very best light. And when forced to talk about financial issues, well, we do the same thing. We bend the truth, or we omit certain details that don't make us look that great.

It's terrifying. If you're like most people, you're not sure of your financial situation. At. All. You may always be just two steps ahead of a total financial meltdown. If you share that kind of information, your beloved may not think you're such a great catch. You feel that you must be careful here, keeping your terror under wraps.

After all, once you get married and have twice the income to pay for half the expenses (being in love does funny things with math), things will be awesome in no time at all. Don't cause any waves. Stay calm and carry on. Everything is sure to turn out right. Money touches every area of life in some way. If you and your sweetheart get your money attitudes straight, it will help straighten out almost every other area in your lives. Ask these three questions to cut through all of this and get right to what you need to know:

No. 1: May I see your credit report, please?

If he or she hands it right over, great! You need to reciprocate without question. Trading credit reports will get everything on the table, perhaps even things you did not know existed. Yes, it is scary, and yes, it may be the most difficult thing you will ever do together as you build your relationship. And the most beneficial.

No. 2: Who handled the money in your home when you were a child?

Why this is important: Let's say you discover than your fiancée’s dad took care of all the bills in a "behind closed doors" fashion, so her mother never had to worry her pretty little head about a thing. If her daddy provided in this way, it is quite possible she assumes the same will be true of her marriage and home. And vice versa.

Of course, there are all kinds of possible scenarios here, but it's a great question for you to ask each other to get the conversation started.

No. 3: "In every relationship/marriage there is a saver and a spender."

Does our relationship fit that statement? Which are you? Which do you believe I am?

Don't hide. Just because you might be the spender doesn't mean you are a spendthrift - or if you are the saver, that you hoard money. No, it just means you have an attitude or bent toward that way of thinking. Truth be told, the best combination in a marriage is a spender and a saver. This creates balance when both are committed to full transparency and complete honesty.

Mary invites you to visit her at EverydayCheapskate. com, where this column is archived complete with links and resources for all recommended products and services.

According to Wendy Heaps, Erin Abramsohn, and Elizabeth Skillen treatise: Public Transportation In The US: A Driver Of Health And Equity, new or expanded public transportation has several benefits.

• It can improve health and health equity by reducing traffic crashes and air pollution

• Increase physical activity decisions for people who need assistance without further ado.

• Improving access to medical care, healthy food, vital services, employment, and social connection.

• Reduces household expenses, public mortality rates, thus creating healthier lifestyles as well as decreasing highway congestion and emissions into the atmosphere.

• Most important of all, it provides all members of society with freedom of mobility.

Her faith in the Lord was very apparent in December 2019 when she was diagnosed with COVID-19 pneumonia. The illness deprived her of her lung capacity and kept her on a respirator for four months. Eventually, she was paralyzed and using a wheelchair. For five months, she fought for her life. She was unable to see her family. She witnessed other COVID patients lose their battles with the dreadful contagion. However, Tequita never stopped praying. Her faith in the Lord was unshaken.

For these reasons Tequita is diligent and devoted to her work. “Every day, I direct activities related to dispatching, route studies, customer service, tracking transit vehicles and monitoring drivers," she says. "At any given time, I could be redirected to handle an event getting out of control, help a homeless person find shelter, or provide medical attention."

Sometimes, her drive to help riders moves her to re-rout those who get off at the wrong bus stop, monitor customer movements and track their buses. Transit is the perfect job for this woman whose life revolves around the welfare of others.

"I love helping people and watching people on the move," she says. "When someone asks me for shelters at a location or route changes, I like to provide it."

It all connects with her faith in the Holy Trinity because it allows her to make cogent

"I learned to walk again and gained enough strength to return to work after the doctors told me I would be paralyzed and on oxygen the rest of my life," she says. "I have to say, my work family made coming back easy. I can't thank them enough for the love and support during that difficult time."

Now that she is back at work, she is more enthusiastic than ever about her job, inviting "the community" to come and ride on Transit. Furthermore, Longview Transit offers free travel training to those interested in making a career out of public transportation.

Public Transit Advisory committee meetings are open to the public. For more information on this resource contact Tequita at (903) 743-2287 #12 or at tdudley@longviewtransit.com. Her community involvement, however, goes far beyond the public transit system.

What’s more, she serves as treasurer of the Zonta Club of Longview, Longview High School Z-Club Sponsor/liaison between Longview High and Zonta, chairs the Community Health Core Foundation, the Kilgore College Advisory Board, Aspire Mentor/Mentor and Group Facilitator, member of the Conference of Minority Transportation Officials, is a graduate of the Leadership Longview Class of 2013-2014, for six years has been a CourtAppointed Special Advocate (CASA); is a member of Sigma Beta Delta, is a member/usher of Red Oak Baptist Church.

Over and above that, since 2018 Tequita has been a World Safety Organization (WSO)

Certified Safety Executive. She is responsible for the policies, programs and methods of whatever organization or entity that employs the individual. The objective is to control various hazards, risks and obstacles that threaten people, resources, and the environment. For more information on the WSO visit http://worldsafety.org/wsoprofessional-certifications/.

Despite stretching her busy schedule, Tequita finds time for pleasurable pursuits. She enjoys travelling. She is careful to check out public transportation in cities she visits in order to acquire insight as someone in a new city (such as travelers to

Longview) might feel about using that city's municipal transportation system, giving her empathy with visitors.

"I traveled to London to see how it would feel to be in another country traveling without an assistant," she says. "It was difficult, confusing and scary." She took this lesson to heart, and it leads her to, “provide sensitive training to our operators.”

Credit: “Public Transportation In The US: A Driver Of Health And Equity,” Health Affairs Health Policy Brief, July 29, 2021. DOI: 10.1377/ hpb20210630.810356

She started with DEAR Unit in Sabine Valley as a service assistant in 1995, providing transportation for the facility's clients as they transitioned from drug treatment and sought jobs, housing, and local resources.

"It was a difficult task because at that time people didn't want anything to do with someone on drugs or coming home from drug treatment," she says. "I was dedicated to their success and built relationships with people in the community who would help them."

After the Unit closed, Tequita moved on to the local Youth Shelter, working with less-fortunate children until that facility closed three years later. She then embarked on her career in public transportation. She enrolled in truck driving school and earned her commercial driver's license. She spent several months on the open road in an eighteenwheeler. Tequita came back to Longview when she learned about the new transit agency. She started as a transit bus driver three years and earned a promotion to transit supervisor.

"At that time Edward Esparza was the general manager," she says. "He had little training to give me but gave me the opportunity to grow by providing the resources I needed to do the job."

After twenty years in Transit transportation, she is seeing it proliferate into all areas of public transit. She regularly attends quality seminars offering certifications in various fields. In addition, Tequita keeps Longview up to date on all current trends and technology, even finding time to acquire her World Safety Organization certificate, which is exceedingly difficult and rare. She was at the heart of the procedure last November when the City of Longview/ Longview Transit took over Greyhound as the sole man ticket agent between Dallas and Shreveport. Tequita is now the local Greyhound manager. Public transportation is a central aspect of modern urban and rural infrastructure with many benefits.