TWEENAGER? TWEENAGER? It seems that children are growing up more quickly than they used to. These days it isn’t unusual to see eight year olds getting interested in make-up tutorials and toddlers knowing their way around an iPad better than you do. For parents, the transition from child to teenager isn’t as gradual as it used to be. If you have what is commonly known as a ‘tweenager’ you’ll already know this, but if you’re not sure or you think that your own child might be entering this phase, here are a few tips to make the whole thing a bit easier. It can be difficult for parents to not get frustrated when their formerly pleasant child suddenly becomes sarcastic and starts pushing the boundaries. You might worry that children are completely aware of how they’re behaving – but that’s not always the case. Science suggests that most kids aren’t aware of how they come across and this is all down to the changes in their brains as they start to mature and develop into teenagers – so don’t take it to heart, but do keep a check on it in case their change in behaviour is stemming from an issue such as bullying.
What can you do about it?
Classic tween symptoms:
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Do you have a....
Not listening Answering back Refusing to do as they’re told Swearing Keeping secrets If you answer ed yes to thes e, then congratulatio ns, the tween stage has hit!
Firstly, don’t panic and don’t judge – you were like this once too! If you have a child who doesn’t listen to anything you say make sure to talk to them calmly and without raising your voice, if you nag them they’ll tune out and if you get angry they’ll get defensive. Maintain eye contact and show by your language and tone that you mean what you say. If they start answering you back or being cheeky make sure that you use the same technique when letting them know what is acceptable. Understand that they are becoming their own person and they want to figure themselves out, but at the same time, you are still the parents and what you say goes. Are they starting to use swear words or other language that you don’t like? Make sure to check they haven’t learned it from home and curb your own language if they are within hearing distance whilst making sure they know it won’t be tolerated while they’re at home.
Do you have any suggestions for parents experiencing this for the first time? Share them on Facebook and Twitter, @ukfamilymatters
