Indulge
www.indulgemagazine.com.au
October 2011
spirit|soul|body
Pastor Anne Graham Courage Under Fire Award Winning Author
Naomi Reed
How To Teach Your Kids Good Manners Easy Entertaining Flatter Your Face Shape
The Colours of Spring Tim Costello speaks about the crisis in East Africa Indulge | October 2011 | 1
w: b: m:
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www.nspstudio.com.au http://blog.nspstudio.com.au 0431 882 123
LOVE. GLAMOUR. SOUL.
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Indulge eMagazine is part of the iluvthoseshoes Project which seeks to empower women in their journey through life by resourcing them, spirit, soul and body. Empower = make more confident; to give authority Resource = source of help; solutions to problems
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Reverend Malcolm Keynes (Dip. Ministry)
The Cover
Cover Pastor Anne Graham Photography Natasha Smith, NSP Studio Photography Beauty & Styling Tanya Epis
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Jane Allen Dr Cris Beer Michelle Evans Pastor Anne Graham Nicky Hurle Dominique Maurice Candice Schmidt
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contents spirit
soul
Tim Costello
Naomi Reed
Report from Africa
Pastor Anne Graham Courage Under Fire
Nicky Hurle
How to be Courageous
Dr Cris Beer
Embracing Life’s Seasons
Who Decides What’s Beautiful?
Manners Maketh
Flatter Your Face Shape
Book Review
Spring Colours
Candice Schmidt
Jane Allen
Tanya Epis
Michelle Dennis Evans
Everywoman has a story Dominique Maurice
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body
Angela Frost
Easy Entertaining
30
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from the editor fearful of what God was asking Abraham to do, this journey shows us that their relationship was built on love not fear. Without knowing or understanding the why, Abraham obeyed God’s call to take his son to the mountain and sacrifice him. Such obedience can only arise from an intensely intimate relationship with God. When we can look past the circumstances and say, “I trust you God – no matter what is before me, whether I understand or not” we have received a powerful revelation of His magnificent love for us, just like Abraham had, which will enable us to stand firm, and be effective, no matter what season we are in. Nicky continues on the theme of courage in an article that will strengthen us in this area his month it is my privilege to share with by identifying three significant threats to our you three stories of courage. Pastor Anne ability to stand. Candice has some wise tips for Graham, Naomi Reed and Dominique improving our children’s manners. Manners are Maurice have led very different lives; one is a simply a sign of respect, and it is wise to teach Pastor and former ACC State leader who had our kids these very important social skills. Then to face her husband and mother suffering from cancer at the same time. One is a physiotherapist we have the thought-provoking words of Dr Cris who begins this month with the first of a two who headed to Nepal and became an awardwinning author as she shared her journey on the part series on the concept of beauty. Cris asks the question “Who decides what’s beautiful?” mission field and the third courageous woman and examines how our society has arrived at it’s is a reformed drug-addict and mother who continuously prayed for her husband to be saved. definition of beauty. They would appear on the surface to have little in common but dig deeper and you will find that Finally, we have some great fashion advice from Jane and Tanya with tips on how to flatter your these women have one common factor… they had the courage to face their fears and trust God face shape and checking in on what colours are hot this season. Angela finishes off beautifully with their lives. by offering mouth watering treats, for easy entertaining, as the weather warms up. This kind of trust reminds me of Abraham (Genesis 22:1-19) during the time when God I hope you feel truly indulged as you read asked him to sacrifice Isaac, a very difficult through this great issue. season for this father and his one beloved son. While many would look at this story and feel
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SPECIAL REPORT
Doing Likewise for East Africa Tim Costello - CEO, World Vision Australia
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he last few weeks have reminded us of how fears about the state of the global economy and a possible second global financial crisis can consume our thoughts and the media. While this potentially affects the lives and livelihoods of many people, we must put it in the context of the crisis that is happening in East Africa where millions of lives are at risk. According to estimates by the World Food Programme, more than 13 million people need urgent food assistance.
world food supply came under pressures from a variety of sources, including poor harvests in the United States and Europe, prolonged drought in Australia, and high oil prices. All of these factors increased demand for food. On top of this, due to low supplies, foreign buyers suddenly began to stockpile. They put in orders on US grain exchanges two to three times larger than normal. This resulted in major domestic US mills putting in their own massive orders, fearing there would soon be no wheat left at any price.
As I have said previously, this emergency engulfing countries like Kenya, Ethiopia and Somalia is one of the worst in decades. It is like the 1984 Ethiopian famine all over again, and back then it was only after a BBC journalist brought attention to the crisis that the world took notice. It is our moral responsibility to not turn away this time.
For the developing world the outcome of these events was dire as food prices soared. More than 30 countries were racked by food-related civil turmoil. The World Bank estimates that the food crisis pushed 100 million people worldwide below the poverty line. This situation was then compounded by adverse weather with parts of East Africa not receiving any rainfall for three years and also by the ongoing conflict in Somalia leading tens of thousands of Somalis to flee to neighbouring Kenya and Ethiopia. It is, therefore, no surprise that we are now seeing such a calamity in this region.
This disaster is something we have been responding to since last February. In north Kenya alone, poor rainfall late in 2010 and again in the ‘long rain’ period between March and May this year has meant that the number of people requiring food assistance is likely to rise to 3.7 million very soon, compared to 2.4 million earlier this year. The fact is that when rains fail for three years in a row, as they have in this part of the world, then the likelihood of avoiding the kind of tragedy we are facing now is extremely low. It is important to realise though that the crisis in East Africa is not just the result of severe drought in the region. Many of the causes of the food crisis in 2008 are still present. Some of these causes include the fact that in mid-2008 the 8 | www.indulgemagazine.com.au
As Christians, it is clear that we are called upon to respond to such dire need wherever it occurs. The biblical injunction to do good applies to all, both to our brothers and sisters in Christ (Galatians 6:10) and anyone else who is in need (Luke 10:25-37). The disaster unfolding in East Africa is not just a humanitarian one. It is not something to which emergency relief on its own will provide the solutions. It is also a matter of justice. In the Beatitudes, Jesus says
‘blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness’ (Matthew 5:6). The biblical understanding of righteousness is justice and trying to live right. We are to be the neighbour to anyone in need. This is the wonderful and challenging message of Jesus’ famous story of the Good Samaritan. When the lawyer asks the question, “who is my neighbour?”, Jesus turns the question around, and in telling the story, says that we are the neighbour (“go and do likewise”). He also says elsewhere in the gospels that loving our neighbour is the second greatest commandment and is inseparably linked with loving God with all our heart, mind, soul and strength. The life and example of Jesus, and the tragedy in East Africa, call us to do good wherever and whenever we can, regardless of race, religion or ethnicity. We must not delay again, as we
did in 1984. Love requires an urgent response. It requires us to do justice, love mercy and walk humbly with our God in response to our brothers, sisters, and neighbours in East Africa. World Vision is conducting a relief response to address both the immediate and longer term needs of those affected by drought. This involves providing emergency food, including distributing supplementary food to malnourished children and lactating women, as well as providing water and medical support. World Vision is also continuing its development work to support communities over the longterm to improve their resilience to situations like the current crisis. To enable this work, World Vision Australia is collecting public donations via the ‘East Africa Emergency Appeal’. Donations can be made online at www.worldvision.com.au or by calling 13 32 48
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SPIRIT
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Courage Under Fire Words Pastor Anne Graham Photography Natasha Smith NSP Studio Photography Makeup & Hair Tanya Epis
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astors Byron & Anne Graham have lived lives a little less ordinary. Being radically saved and called into full-time ministry, they have powered ahead in God, building a flourishing church from the ground up on the Gold Coast. Pastor Anne has lead the Australian Christian Churches Queensland Women’s movement for the past several years, and both Anne and Byron are invited to speak nationally on a regular basis. In the midst of this incredible time of growth Pastor Byron was suddenly diagnosed with throat cancer in 2008. Here Pastor Anne shares about their journey through one of the most harrowing seasons in their lives with all the grace and courage that truly defines her as a daughter of God. December 2008 I was in the corridor of Pindara Hospital walking alongside my husband as he was being wheeled from the operating theatre back to his room. Days earlier we had been told he had throat cancer. He had just had a biopsy to determine what sort of cancer it was. My mobile phone rang and I answered it to hear my sister sobbing that she had just found out my mother had cancer. I told her I’d call her back shortly and accompanied Byron back to his room and helped to settle him down. When I returned the call, my sister explained that our 81 year-old mother had just been diagnosed with cancer of the tongue, palette and jaw. It was inoperable and well advanced. The biopsy confirmed that Byron had stage 4 inoperable throat cancer. And so the journey began.
It was one of those transitionary moments that happen a few times in each of our lives where your whole world tips on its axis and nothing is the same. But before I take you on that journey we should backtrack to earlier in the year. What did our lives look like before that moment? We were parents to three beautiful grown-up children and had three gorgeous grandchildren. We were (and still are) senior pastors of a growing church in Ormeau on the Gold Coast. We pioneered Highway Christian Church in 1995 as a result of a direct word from the Lord. In April 2008 we heard that a prophet from Africa, Dr Bernard Blessing, would be visiting a church in North Queensland and we both felt strongly that we needed to be there. This was unusual for us because as senior pastors of a
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growing church it was difficult to take time out Indian operations. I was concerned about his health and had noticed a lump at the back of and we often passed up other invitations. his throat and asked him not to go. He felt he was committed to the trip and needed to be We attended a series of meetings starting on Good Friday and continuing through Saturday there as he was taking a group of young people with him. morning and afternoon. He was the sort of speaker who doesn’t socialise during the While in India he was travelling in the conference but retires to his room to seek God on behalf of those attending. He brought passenger seat of a car and pulled down the sun visor. In the mirror he noticed the lump three prophetic words to us on three separate at the back of his throat. He rang me straight occasions. away and I asked him to come home. Again In the first, he spoke about a person for whom he felt he couldn’t leave straight away. On I had been praying. The majority of this word the day he arrived back in Australia I picked him up from the airport and drove him straight came to pass over the next 18 months. The to our GP, who immediately arranged an second concerned the organisation of our appointment with an ear, nose and throat church. Part of it came to pass within two specialist. days of returning from the conference and the rest soon afterwards. At this stage we were not overly concerned and the thought of cancer had not even passed But the third was very specific and very through our minds. After taking a look at troubling. He placed his hand on Byron’s Byron and putting a scope down his throat to shoulder and said, “You are now the age examine it, the specialist felt confident enough when the devil is going to try to take you out. to tell us immediately that it was cancer. Something will come through your blood but the devil does not need to succeed in this.” We The specialist arranged for Byron to have a didn’t know what to do with a word like this. CT scan at the Mater hospital on Saturday and What did it mean? for a biopsy to be carried out on Monday at Pindara Hospital to determine what type of In the following months I watched Byron’s cancer it was. health begin to deteriorate. He started to fatigue easily and needed to rest during the We were quiet driving home from the day. He would wake up exhausted even specialist, feeling both numbed and shocked. after sleeping for 9 hours which was unusual Byron’s mind was racing: his own father had for him. He had always been a resilient, died prematurely at 55 and Byron was 53 hardworking man. He was susceptible to at that time. My mind went into overdrive getting infections, a sure sign his immune system was stressed. Was this the result of an thinking, what do we need to do now? I knew we had to break the news to our children, our overfull schedule? church staff, leaders and the whole church community. He was due to lead the annual trip to India where our church runs three orphanages and a On Thursday evening we called our three widow’s home, as well as operating Highway grown-up children over to the rented house we Inn which generates funds to support the 14 | www.indulgemagazine.com.au
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...In the following months I watched Byron’s health begin to deteriorate.
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were living in at the time. Did I mention that we had recently sold our home and signed a contract to start construction on a new home within a month? When we broke the news there was a feeling of unbelief in the room, this just didn’t happen to our family. But there was also great unity, solidarity and strength that we would get through this together. This same reaction of incredulity followed by sound support was repeated with our board members and leaders.
and uplifting for us. The church prayed for us and we drew on the faith they imparted to us. This brings me back to where we started: standing in the corridor of Pindara Hospital while Byron was wheeled into the operating theatre to have a biopsy.
Once it was confirmed that Byron had stage 4 inoperable throat cancer, the days and weeks ahead were a blur of appointments with panels of doctors and specialists trying to determine the best course of treatment for him. In the end Byron had the CT scan at the Mater Hospital they recommended chemotherapy and Byron had a pack hooked to his belt that released on Saturday and we broke the news to the measured doses of chemotherapy into his body church community on Sunday. We chose to tell them ourselves in our own way because we 24 hours a day, for four days every time he had the treatment. wanted to show them that we were standing strong. There was an amazing atmosphere of Our 30th wedding anniversary was faith in the room that was both empowering
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On Christmas Day I left intensive care at 3am in the morning and went to preach at the 8am service out of sheer determination and defiance at the enemy.
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approaching on the 20th December and our children had planned a special celebration at the church. Just prior to it Byron collapsed at home and had to be hospitalised for medical treatment. We managed to get him released to enjoy the anniversary evening, but he was so ill afterwards that I had to take him straight back to hospital. Little did I know when I took him back into hospital after our anniversary, that we were about to enter the most traumatic days of our entire lives leading up to Christmas Day 2008.
that he was not placed in the private room off to the side, which seemed to be set aside for patients who were really deteriorating. On Christmas Day I left intensive care at 3am in the morning and went to preach at the 8am service out of sheer determination and defiance at the enemy. I preached that morning to show the devil that we were not intimidated and that we would do everything in our power to turn the battle around. The Christmas morning service was a very powerful time. Once again I left the service feeling energised by the faith in the room. I was uplifted because I knew that our church and friends across the whole nation were praying for us.
A peg tube was inserted into his stomach in order to feed him and one of my duties was to clear out the tube twice a day. While doing the cleaning I noticed a tiny amount of green substance in the tube which I knew represented Christmas Day somehow happened. Our infection. family tried to create a Christmas atmosphere so that our three grandchildren wouldn’t miss Byron was deteriorating before my eyes. He out. They were all toddlers at the time. changed from the person he used to be. He didn’t talk a lot because it hurt so much and When I visited Byron later in the day I found his weight was dropping dramatically because that he had been transferred to the private he couldn’t eat. Each day seemed to be worse room off to the side of the intensive care than the day before. He was then hospitalised unit. Staff told me it was so that he would in John Flynn Hospital. get more rest there, but I interpreted it that he was deteriorating. On Boxing Day he was in On the 23rd December, Byron was placed in a serious condition and the infection had been intensive care. I wasn’t prepared for what given a name: Septicaemia. I would be confronted with when I went to see him. He had tubes coming out of various The prophetic word he had been given in April parts of his body and a team of medical flooded back to me. “Something will come staff surrounded him. No-one told me what through your blood”. Septicaemia comes the problem was other than that it was an through the blood. infection. At 9pm on Boxing Day I went home to When I looked at Byron I knew he had a major shower, freshen up and eat. I asked the fight on his hands but I did not know exactly hospital to ring if there was any change in what we were fighting. When I went through Byron. When I got home, my daughter had the blue double doors into the intensive care made a meal for me and we watched a movie unit, one of the things I took comfort from was to take my mind off things. Indulge | October 2011 | 17
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I had to make up my mind how I was going to walk this journey.
Meanwhile at the hospital Byron woke up and looked at the clock on the bedside table, it was midnight. He became agitated when he saw a demon standing in the door frame of his room. The demon jeered at him saying “You’re finished, I’ve got you now!” Byron pressed the call button and asked the nurse to phone me, but she came back and said that all the hospital telephone lines were down. He knew then that he had to deal with this on his own. He also knew he was dying and that this could be his last day on earth. The demon continued to stand in the doorway and he wondered why it didn’t come closer to him. He said, “God, if you want to take me then do so, and if you don’t, then don’t. I just want to say, Jesus I love you.” After he whispered those words in his weak state it dawned on him that the demon was still standing in the doorway and had no access to him. At that moment he realised he was going to live. After he became aware that he would 18 | www.indulgemagazine.com.au
live and that the demon had no access to him, it disappeared never to return. While this was a watershed moment, there was no immediate turnaround in his health. The months that followed were filled with all types of challenges. He spent most of his time in hospital. Sometimes he would be allowed to go home but it never lasted for long. On one occasion I found him passed out on the bedroom floor. There was a blood clot in his lungs. His kidneys had started to leak potassium, which could potentially send him into cardiac arrest. Each day as I travelled the 50-minute journey between our home and the hospital I had a choice about how I was going to cope. The word we had received from the man of God was that the devil would “try” to take Byron out but that he “need not succeed”. That became my anchor and my confidence during those dark days.
I had to make up my mind how I was going to walk this journey. During the drive I would prepare my mind for what I would see and hear when I was at hospital, particularly in Ward 6 which was the Cancer Ward. He spent his days between the Cancer Ward, Chemotherapy Ward and the Intensive Care Unit. At the same time I was trying to make myself available to spend as much time as possible with my Mum while she was undergoing a series of tests and operations at the Royal Brisbane Hospital. My mother would have a two-year journey dealing with oral, rectal and oesophageal cancer. Byron lost the ability to communicate so I would just sit with him in hospital, not communicating. I tried to handle it from the perspective of what God had said. I told myself continually that the cancer does not need to take him out. There were times when I just worshipped, times when I was silent and other times when I needed to talk. Sometimes I just had to get out of the hospital and walk the path at Coolangatta Beach. By May 2009 the doctors thought he was over the worst, but I came home to find him sitting in a lounge chair looking very grey in colour. Under the GP’s advice I took him back to hospital, where it was discovered that he now had pneumonia in his lungs. We knew this was serious for a man with such a compromised immune system. How would he fight it off? This was the only day I felt an overwhelming sense of defeat. It felt like the final frontier. I sobbed uncontrollably from the belly up for half an hour. I thought we had conquered so much and come so far and now it was possible that pneumonia could finish him off. But I
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regained my composure and my perspective and went back to holding him up in faith. He eventually overcame the pneumonia and from then on he steadily gained ground. It was a slow climb back to health over the next 18 months and we learnt to celebrate the little things and see every small step forward as a victory. As I mentioned we were building a house at the same time all this was happening. The two worlds just didn’t seem to go together. But in a strange way it helped me because it gave me something practical to think about, a diversion from the seriousness of Byron’s situation. It was also a declaration that there is a future and this cancer is not the end. I would picture Byron sitting in a lounge chair watching his favourite TV shows.
I helped him on to the platform and stood him behind the pulpit. I said, “I want you to picture the people and see yourself preaching again because this is where you are headed”. He eventually preached his first message back at Highway in late 2009. The report today reads “No sign of cancer”. To God be the praise for He is faithful in all things.
(
I also didn’t want the church to go backwards during this time. I knew this was our future, what God had spoken over our lives. When he was well enough to walk I sat him in the passenger seat and took him to our church on a quiet day. He didn’t want to get out of the car and to chance anyone seeing him in this poor physical condition. There was a battle going on in his mind that he would never preach again, his life had changed so dramatically in such a short space of time. Nothing was normal any longer. I encouraged him to walk into the church with me. I said, “I want you to see your future. Feel what it’s like to sit in your seat in the front row”. After some persuasion I managed to get him inside and he sat in his chair. Then
Pastors Byron & Anne Graham are the Senior Pastors of Highway Christan Church at Ormeau on the Gold Coast. For more information about Highway Christian Church go to www.highway.com.au
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How to be Courageous
Learning to Stand Firm in Life
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by Nicky Hurle
here are a number of different definitions for the word courage. It takes courage to try something new... being prepared to step out of our comfort zone and push forwards with a fresh experience; in this we are intrepid, undaunted and brave. We are to have the courage of our convictions... believe in the face of opposing views, to stand up for what we have faith in, rest on a firm foundation; in this we are faithful, staunch and steadfast. Courage is needed when we must face the consequences of our actions... to admit responsibility and bear the burden of our choices; in this we show fortitude, humility and substance. In the face of danger our courage makes us pugnacious, resistant and valiant. I could go on... As women of influence, we are to be a testimony to the word, of courage in the face of danger, calamity, consequences and the unknown, knowing that we stand upon the promises of a mighty God who is with us in every circumstance. Deuteronomy 31:6 states: “Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the LORD your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you.” By our example others may be influenced to have confidence in their own, and God’s, ability, to see them through no matter what the situation. Not only are we called upon to be courageous, but also to en-courage; to sponsor and strengthen, foster and fortify, build-up and bolster those with whom we come into contact every day. But how often do we find ourselves in a situation where, when called to show courage or encourage someone else, we fall short? Adam and Eve denied their convictions and brought upon the whole human race the consequences of their sin which they then refused to acknowledge. Moses made every excuse to circumvent the Lord’s choice of him for the important job of freeing the Israelites from Egypt. Elijah defeated the Prophets of Baal, but then fell into great fear for his life and
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fled into the desert. Solomon’s courage became arrogance as he allowed his many wives to seduce him to other Gods. Peter was quick to deny the Lord in the face of challenge, his convictions melting in the face of danger. From walking on water, to slipping beneath the waves, from swearing allegiance to the death, to denying Jesus three times before the rooster crowed, he was a typical example of someone who could talk the talk, but found it hard to walk the walk. Jesus often exhorted the disciples to take courage because he was with them (Matt 14:27, Mark 6:50). His very presence inspired them and galvanised them in action, word and deed, but the moment they stepped away, or forgot his authority; the moment they became unplugged from the power source, or took their eyes from Him, they were plunged into doubt and fear, losing their focus and diluting their faith. In 1 Corinthians 16:13 is the exhortation (also a word that means encourage) to “Be on your guard; stand firm in the faith; be courageous; be strong.” These are very important words. To be courageous, to stand firm, to be strong, we must be on our guard. Against what you may ask? Three things come to mind. First we must be on our guard against the wiles of the devil who himself, is an encourager to sin which
is “crouching at your door: it desires to have you, but you must rule over it.” (Gen 4:7). Temptation is one of the biggest factors in our lives to draw us away from God, but he does not leave us in the wilderness to cope alone as he was. 1 Corinthians 10:12-13 states; “So, if you think you are standing firm, be careful that you don’t fall! No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can endure it.” Jesus told the disciples on many occasions to pray so that they would not fall into temptation. If we remain plugged in, our moral compass will not fail! Second, complacency is also a courage usurper. It convinces you that there is no need for challenge, it lulls you into procrastination and steals your strength. When faced with adversity, resolve has been so undermined that your foundation collapses like a house of cards and fear washes in past the flimsy sandbagging. Overcoming this kind of contentment or avoiding it altogether is not easy and takes a real effort of will from someone who is prepared to rise up from their bed of satisfaction and face the world head on. This power comes through Romans 12:1-2; “Therefore, I urge (encourage) you, brothers and sisters, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God—this is your true and proper worship. Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.” To beat apathy, sometimes it is necessary to beat ourselves into submission to our will (figuratively speaking of course.) Isolation is the third element that will appropriate your courage and leave you bereft and doubting. Being alone is great sometimes for giving us time to reflect and contemplate on life, the universe and everything, however, too much time away from our brothers and sisters in the faith will lead to an ebbing self-esteem, a lack of intimacy, distrust and doubt of both people and God. Right from the beginning, God knew that it was “not good for man to be alone.” Genesis 2:18. In Ecclesiastes 4:9-12 it states: “Two are better than one, because they have a good return
for their labor: If either of them falls down, one can help the other up. But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up. Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm. But how can one keep warm alone? Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.” This cord of three of course is the addition of our relationship with God. To be connected we must foster a type of communication that runs both ways. We do this by reading his word, praying, listening and worshipping, with others as well as by ourselves. Together is stronger than apart; many is greater than one. Not only can we grow our own courage from the exhortations of others, but we too can be the spur, the support and the stirrer of courage in others. The Bride of Christ is not a singular, but a plural, made up of those who will rise to meet the Master when he comes, having stood the test and remained standing. What better way to prepare and be on guard, than to wear the armour of God? “Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand.” (Ephesians 6:13). To be able to remain standing in courage and strength, knowing that we have done our bit to influence and encourage others in the faith, whilst standing strong in our own circumstances may bring us the word that every Christian longs to hear: “Well done, good and faithful servant! You have been faithful with a few things; I will put you in charge of many things. Come and share your master’s happiness!” Matthew 25:19 Nicky is a talented and passionate educator who has taught in both Primary and Secondary school in a career that is a vocational calling. She has a Biblical Diploma and a recently completed Masters in Gifted Education. Her involvement with young people spans more than twenty years in various roles including youth leader and mentor. Nicky is currently a House Parent at the Australian Institute of Sport in Canberra where, with her husband David, she is responsible for looking after the welfare of residential athletes. She is presently writing her first novel and loves reading, movies and music.
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Everywoman has a story...
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Dominique Dean Words: Dominique Maurice Styling & Photography: Tanya Epis
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his year we have been married for 30 years. It’s been an amazing journey that started in the smallest of beginnings, with no vision on my part. God truly had a plan for us that we have seen unfold before us, as we have brought Him into our marriage, our family and sought a vision and a future. Dean and I met when I was 16 and he was 20. He says he heard me sing and said to his friend "I'm going to marry that girl." He was a drug dealer in Manly and I was there with my boyfriend of the time to buy marijuana. Six weeks later we were together and less than a year later (I was 17, he was 21) we were married. (We had planned it for eight months, by the time we married I was six months pregnant.) Fourteen months after Aaron was born we had Lincoln, then a very rough five years followed, including a brief separation when I even lived with another man. Dean’s ability for forgiveness is like no other person I’ve ever met and although it took time, we were even able to completely rebuild trust. When we were more settled we had another child, our daughter, Kaija, after which I was told I couldn't have any more children. Pretty devastating news, since I was only 24. It took me until I was 47 to really come to terms with the fact that I could never have a fourth child. I never told anyone, I always said I was happy with three, saying “three is a full car”, but the truth is, in my heart I always wanted another baby. Life went on, I drank pretty heavily and Dean kept using marijuana, though I would have to say we were functioning addicts. Our children, Aaron, Lincoln and Kaija were
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well cared for; they played sport and did lots of fun activities while Dean worked his way up the corporate ladder and I worked in my mother’s restaurant, a perfect place for me to drink and make it look like part of my job. Early in 1991 my drinking was getting really bad and we were talking about Dean moving to Canberra and coming home to Sydney on weekends, though I think we both knew it was probably going to end our marriage. Our children were nine, eight and three. In March I had a near fatal, drink-driving accident and the first thing I did after I sobered up was call a friend of mine who had been "preaching" to me for quite a long time. I walked into Church with black eyes, a very swollen nose, a cracked sternum and an aching hole in my heart. The first week I sat in Church I knew that this was going to change my life, that this was where I needed to be and that God was real. When I went home I kicked myself for not raising my hand when the Preacher asked, . so I couldn’t wait for the following Sunday, and this time when asked I did raise my hand and gave my heart to the Lord. I went to the front and I was filled with the Holy Spirit all at once. I couldn’t believe the way I felt, but I knew it was real. One thing I knew, after what was now almost 10 years of marriage, was not to talk to my husband about Church, especially this nontraditional style of preaching, because I knew he wouldn’t get it and would probably try and stop me from going. From the first day I went to Church I took the children with me and they loved it, so that was never a problem. In the meantime, as a result of the car accident months before, I had to go to court, where I lost my license for 2 years with a $750 fine. I had also been going to regular counseling and AA meetings. I didn’t have a drink for the next 5 years. Over the next couple of months our marriage really improved, so one day I said to Dean that I thought we should all move to Canberra. He was delighted, to say the least. Moving to Canberra was to be life changing. The move was exciting. We had a lovely home although Dean had to drive the children and me to Church because I had no license. He was more than
happy to do this because he thought Church was good for me. Dean would sit in the car and read the newspaper or go home and sometimes mow the lawn or something. Well, I had all of my Church friends praying for Dean and still I said nothing to him. That didn’t stop our son Lincoln. He would put tracts under the toilet door. Don’t you just love the hearts of children? He was eight at the time. Finally one
week Dean asked me what they “talked” about at Church this week. Well wouldn’t you know it, they talked about giving and tithing, so I told him about giving 10% of your income to Church. He said it sounded like a good idea and that we should do that too, this coming from a man who had never been to Church. During the week Dean said he would come to Church the following Sunday morning.
Of course I was so excited, but acted very casual. Sunday morning came around and he decided to mow the lawn. What? The way Dean tells it, he was in the garden and Jesus spoke to him and said to be with his family in Church. Needless to say he came to Church that night and gave his heart to the Lord. This was only one year after I gave my heart. I think there is a big lesson for women here. Pray for your
husband and love him, but don’t talk to him unless he asks, that’s Jesus job. To say that our lives were different would be a vast understatement. Our children were so different and we had the marriage we had always wanted. Not to say it was like a magic wand had been waved over our lives, it took work, but God moved. Indulge | October 2011 | 25
Before Dean gave his heart he had declared bankruptcy which normally lasted at that time for 7 years. However, we got a phone call four years later to say that it was over. During the bankruptcy Dean was given an award from his company that included a trip overseas and we were given special permission to travel, the courthouse was even opened specially. Media turned up, because they thought it must have been someone important! Well it was… God was there. Our three children have grown into remarkable people. Aaron song leads in his Church on the Gold Coast with the most amazing anointing. He is happily married, also marrying young, at 21 to the beautiful Fleur and they have 2 wonderful children, Brooklyn and Savannah. Aaron is a cancer survivor and one of my heroes. Lincoln lives in Melbourne with his wife Romaine and children Reily and Vivienne. He’s had to overcome some really hard times, but he’s still in Church in spite of what he’s been through. I know many older people who would have chucked it in long before. He is also one of my heroes. Oh, and he plays drums at Church. My daughter Kaija, lives in Sydney and at 23 has decided to go to Uni. She has struggled with illness for a long time and yet she’s still in Church, questioning everything she is told and considering doing Theology and Science degrees. She is one of my heroes too. This year is our 30th anniversary and it's the first time that we have ever lived alone. Last year we decided to move to the Gold Coast from Sydney and it’s been a huge change, but one thing we are not is empty nesters. Everyone kept saying that we would be, but we’re not and that’s because we’ve always kept our marriage alive, always made it a priority. We’ve taken time out for us. Dates, weekends, shut the bedroom door, never let the children sleep with
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us, but never let the children feel left out, just that there is an order to things. Yes, we miss the children that live interstate and right now we don’t have as much money as we’ve had in the past, to be able to drop everything and visit on a whim. Dean is at University studying Accounting and will add Law next year. He has always wanted to do these things, but was not able to because our priorities have been different. He is my hero. We’re as happy, if not happier than ever and I feel like we are on permanent honeymoon, the one we never had when we first married. I'm married to a wonderful man and I think I'm becoming a better woman. Marriage truly is a blessing from God and when you put Him in the middle and make your husband more important than all the other things in life, you will have a marriage made in heaven.
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Embracing Life’s Seasons Award winning author Naomi Reed shares about her extraordinary journey through life. I was wandering through Koorong one day on the hunt for a present with robust determination that I would not buy a book for myself. Out of the corner of my eye I caught a glimpse of “The Promise” by Naomi Reed and I could not help but pick it up for a quick browse... The next thing I knew I was deep within the pages, seeing the women of the bible in a new way. As I read Naomi’s bio I was enthralled to find that Naomi is an award winning author for two previous books authored during her time in Nepal. I contacted Naomi and asked her if she would share her journey from Sydney based Physiotherapist to author. “The Promise” is an encouraging and creatively written book about various women of the bible. Why did you decided to write “The Promise”? We lived for years in Nepal and then came back to Australia just prior to Christmas 2006. That was probably a mistake! I was quite shocked by everything, including some aspects of Christmas – the amount of consumerism as well as our tendency to either isolate the nativity story, or even worse, to be bored by it. So then in my angst, I wrote a dramatic monologue from the perspective of an older Mary, (the mother of Jesus), who would surely want to tell the whole story in context - not just the birth of her son, but also his death and resurrection and what that meant in her life. I loved writing it! Then I performed it at our church’s Christmas Eve service and I loved that as well – to somehow bring the story to life via a different medium and hear the sounds of the Roman soldiers and feel the texture of the swaddling cloths and then 30 | www.indulgemagazine.com.au
understand the promises of God more deeply for myself. After that was over, I just wanted to do more and more of the same, so in a moment of wild abandon, I decided to write my way through the whole Bible (from Genesis to Pentecost), through the form of dramatic monologue, and using the voices of twenty female characters. How much research did you carry out in preparation for “The Promise”? Enough to realize that it was limited! I was studying Old Testament at the time, which helped. I was immersed in the Old Testament Scripture and stories and their role in Biblical history. I poured over the Bible atlas and any other visual images I could find. I researched clothes and setting and food and crops and smells and seasons, but it was still limited. Ultimately, I used my prayerful imagination… but I think that living in Nepal for six years also helped. In most of Nepal, women still collect water at the well or at the tap, the buffalo still plough the field and the goats are still bred for slaughter at the temple, so all of those visual images helped. Then we went to Northern Iraq during the time that I was writing, so actually being in the place that Abraham and Sarah travelled through and the ten northern tribes were exiled to, was very helpful. I soaked in the scenery and the smells and the landmarks and I tried to eat as many figs and dates and almonds as I could! Mostly, I prepared by reading Scripture over and over to myself and trying to see the world (and God) through the eyes of each character – then trying to imagine how they might tell their stories.
Have you always wanted to write? Or did it come unexpectedly to you? I never wanted to write. At school I was good at Maths, not English. Then I studied physiotherapy, which was a science-based course. I loved physio and I spent my time treating patients and trying to avoid writing medical notes. But then we moved to Nepal and we lived through seven monsoons. During the last one, (in which it rained for 120 days in a row), I was home-schooling our three sons, we had a shoot-on-sight curfew every evening (as a result of the civil war) and my closest Nepali friend was dying of a brain tumour. It was very difficult. All I could think about was how long it was going to go on for. Then one night in desperation, I began to type. The rain was pouring down outside and we had a power cut inside. I had two small candles on either side of the laptop and I just started to tell our story. I was thinking a lot about God’s purposes through seasons of life – why does he allow the things he does? How does he make everything ‘beautiful in his time?’, And what is ‘his time?’ – so all of those thoughts poured out on the page as I looked back on my own life through the lens of Ecclesiastes 3. After I finished 65,000 words, I thought I had better show someone. But I didn’t ever imagine that it was a book. You have authored three other books prior to “The Promise”. Can you tell us a little about them? Yes, I showed that manuscript to my husband. He said that it was very nice but that nobody else would want to read it. Then I showed it to one other friend. She said it was a book. So I sent it to a publisher and it became ‘My Seventh Monsoon.’ After I finished, I realised I was quite addicted to the process of writing. It felt like the act of putting words on the page somehow helped me to know what I thought, and it also made space in my head for new thoughts to come. It helped me to pray and reflect and make sense of Scripture in new ways. So then I couldn’t stop. By the time ‘My Seventh
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Monsoon’ was released, every one was asking me what happened next. So I wrote the sequel, ‘No Ordinary View,’ and I thought a lot about the way God asks us to fix our eyes on him, especially when things around us are difficult. By then, my Nepali friend had died, our physio student had his house bombed and our Nepali pastor had run out of money – so he was trying to sell his kidney. It was also a difficult time. All of that poured into the second book. At the same time, I was becoming aware that there were issues of comparison between some of the cross-cultural workers in Nepal. So I wrote another book, ‘Over My Shoulder’ and tried to show that we’re different, we’re a body and that God has made us that way deliberately – for His purposes. What drew you to work overseas in Nepal? Back in the nineties, Darren and I were newlymarried and very happy and working as physios in Sydney. Right in the middle of that, we found out about the needs in Nepal – that there were two Nepali physios for a population of 20 million and there was a small struggling local church with a great need for discipleship and encouragement. We looked around us – at our well-equipped hospital and very comfortable local church and thought, ‘How could we stay here?’ If God has really loved us and given his son on our behalf, then what are we willing to do for him? What are we not willing to do for him? How will we respond to his command to “love each other as he has first loved us”? (John 15:12) How has this journey impacted your family? Our first son was born in Nepal – during our third monsoon – and that was an adventure in itself. He was very small and needed to be drip fed hourly via a teaspoon. I don’t remember sleeping for months… and funnily enough, our next two sons were born back in Australia! Then we headed back to Nepal when they were two,four and eight. The next three years were a wonderful time for us as a family – we had a lot of time together on our ridge in Dhulikhel and we grew very close – in the middle of war 32 | www.indulgemagazine.com.au
and rain and home school and a shoot-on-sight curfew. For the boys, it opened up their eyes to the needs of the world and the privilege of living in another culture and sharing life and faith and stories. We also met and made deep friendships with people from all around the world, which has been an incredible blessing. When we first got back to Australia, our eldest son said after a while, “You know, I’ve figured out what they’re all talking about here – Xboxes and computer games. I can see through their eyes now, but I’m not sure that they can see through mine.” In many ways, he was aware that his world view had shifted and expanded and he was very thankful for it. We all were.
Could you describe a significant revelation that you had about your relationship with God whilst in Nepal? I learnt the most through thinking about seasons of life and God’s purposes through them. So often we think that God works in our lives to make things smooth and easy for us. We wouldn’t say that out loud, but it’s sometimes the way we pray. “Lord, could you please sort that out or stop the rain or make things easier please?” And very often, he does. He answers our prayers and he gives good gifts to his children. But surely there’s something more important on his heart than a smooth path? Living through that monsoon showed me again and again that what God wants is for us to respond to him in faith. He wants us to believe in him and to trust him. He wants to grow us. Sometimes that happens the most deeply
through hard seasons. Ecc 3:14 says, “I know that everything God does will endure forever; nothing can be added to it and nothing taken from it. God does it so that men (and women) will revere him.” That’s what he wants. He wants us to revere him and to respond to him and he’s made that possible through Jesus. For me, I needed to learn to hold out my hands and accept that from him. He knows what it takes to make each of us more like Jesus and that’s what he’s doing through the seasons of life. How difficult was it to secure a publisher with your first book? We didn’t have regular Internet in Nepal so I couldn’t research publishers. I couldn’t go down to the local bookshop to see who they were. Then after our seventh monsoon, some friends sent me a copy of Australian Christian Woman magazine. I turned to page nine and saw an ad saying, “Have you written a book? Ark House Press is looking for manuscripts,” so I sent the manuscript back to them and they published it the following year. At the moment, the first two books have been taken over by Authentic Media (UK) and are being made available worldwide. What advice would you give to a novice writer that you wish you had known at the start of your first work? If you have something burning up inside you, just get it down on paper. Don’t worry too much about how it sounds, just keep writing. There’s always time to fix it later. The important thing is to get it out. Then, when you’ve finished, you can find some honest and thoughtful friends to give you feedback or help. But mostly, remember why you’re writing in the first place. Has God put something on your heart to say? Has he shown you something that you can’t not write about? I think that if we write from the depths of what God is doing in us, to an audience that we know and love, then we also trust that God will use those words for the people he has in mind, in his way, because that’s his work, not ours. Just write.
What lies ahead for you? While I was writing The Promise, I could hear the voices of the characters in my head very clearly and I thought it would work well as an audio book. So we spent three months in 2009 recording it in a local studio. That was a learning experience! Since then, I’ve been performing the monologues in churches and larger conferences. I’ve also continued speaking about Nepal and seasons and I’ve gathered around me a small performance group that includes two other women. The best thing about the dramatic performances is the way it forces us to immerse ourselves in Scripture and then present it to the audience in fresh ways. I think one of the problems here in the west is that we’ve heard the same message in the same way for a long time and we’ve somehow turned off or decided that it’s a bit ho-hum. And I want to say – let that not be the case! The gospel was never meant to be boring! We need to work on fresh ways to tell ourselves the gospel and then we need to get out of bed and respond to God in awe and wonder and thanks. My deepest desire is to keep doing that…
For more information on Naomi’s speaking engagements and books, please go to www.NaomiReed.Info or join My Seventh Monsoon on facebook. Photos courtesy of Naomi Reed Indulge | October 2011 | 33
Manners Maketh...
by Candice Schmidt
I
grew up in an environment where good manners were highly regarded. My dad has excellent manners, has mastered the art of small talk and he is very chivalrous. People feel great in his company. Now I am a mum of four children and to be honest I find teaching manners a challenge! I think it is made harder in a culture where good manners are not expected and many kids lack them. So is it worth the effort? MANNERS MAKE THE WORLD A BETTER PLACE
It has been said, “Good manners and courtesy are the grease that keeps the wheels of society turning smoothly”. It is the little things that can make a day feel great or make us irritable. The rude driver who pushes in, the grumpy shop keeper, an irritated look or lack of acknowledgement when we do something kind for someone can leave a negative feeling that can linger for hours. Contrast that feeling with being greeted by name with a smile, someone letting you go through a door first, people thanking you or asking you how you are. 34 | www.indulgemagazine.com.au
Good manners help us show respect to those around us. They help us make friends and keep them. Bad manners cause misunderstandings and can offend. Good manners are a trait of empathy, where we notice and are considerate to others. Benefits for kids and adults with good manners: CThey have stronger family/friend/work and school relationships. CAre not likely to bully but also encounter less bullying at school CHave higher grades CAre less likely to get into trouble CGet better jobs CAre more popular CThey stand out and are more likely to be in leadership positions CThey will have more friends and families inviting them over CTeachers are more likely to help them. “Good manners will open doors that the best education cannot.”
ARE WE SETTING OUR CHILDREN UP TO FAIL?
Nowadays parents are so busy and often focus on improving a child’s self esteem. The result can be that children believe the world revolves around them and their attitude can be rude towards others. They often have little regard for how their behaviour affects those around them. Picture the child in school with the cocky attitude, who grabs things without asking, is bossy, interrupts, doesn’t share, and is rude to others. Poor manners are abrasive. Good manners can be the difference in life between success and failure. A GREAT INVESTMENT
“Treat others the same way we want to be treated” We need to teach our kids good manners for our benefit, their benefit and the benefit of those around them. If we raise the level of expectation and model and teach good manners, then other children and adults will notice and hopefully start teaching their children too! CStart with a family meeting. Explain to your children why manners are important for them and others. CYou could make a poster with the family rules/ manners so they can be reminded. CSet aside a week to make implementing better manners a priority. CWe can teach our kids by saying “In our family we …” (and share the manner with the reason why it is important). This helps when they complain that other kids don’t use their manners. CPractice! Role play at home or in the car. If they are rude, stop them and get them to respond in the right way cueing them. Sometimes it is not what they said but how they said it that needs to change. CHave a sign language cue if you are out and about to remind them to say “thank you” (like scratching their head or touching your chin). CReward or compliment them when they are kind and well mannered. Be consistent in your expectations. IT IS GOOD MANNERS TO: CSay “Please” when you ask for something. CSay “Thank you” when you are given something (within 10 seconds of receiving). CSay “You’re welcome” when someone thanks you. CSay “Yes, mum” or “No, dad” after being spoken
to or being given an instruction, or in a classroom “Yes, Mrs ...” (just nodding is not acceptable) CGreet people when you see them (use their name, look at them and a smile). CWhen you see your friend, greet them and the adult with them. CLook people in the eyes when you talk to them and if someone makes a comment turn and face the person (do not talk while watching TV or texting). CDon’t interrupt when other people are talking (wait patiently where they can see you or a hand on the knee or an “Excuse me mummy” are good cues if a child needs you). CSay sorry if you bump into someone CHold the door for someone to go through first CClean up after yourself.
Friends: CWhen you win, do not brag; when you lose, do not show anger. CAcknowledge if someone does a good job. Don’t make an excuse or put them down. CIf you are asked a question in a conversation, ask a question in return. For example: “Did you have a nice weekend?” You “Yes it was great, I went to the beach with my family. What about you? Did you have a nice weekend?” CDon’t be bossy. Ask friends politely what they would like to do. Try and play something everyone will enjoy. CIf there is a new person, introduce yourself and make them feel welcome. Introduce them to others. CIf you are having a conversation in a group and see someone on their own, invite that person into the group and include them. CDon’t gossip about others. If you have a problem, go and speak to that person first. CWhen leaving after a play date say “thank you for
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having me” to the friend and their parent or host CLet guests go first or choose a game. CInclude everyone when playing games even if they cannot play as well as you. CDon’t complain. It spoils the enjoyment for others. CLook for opportunities to do random acts of kindness CBe honest. Own your behaviour - if you did something wrong, apologise and make amends. Meals: CTalk politely during meals (at a reasonable volume). CChew with your mouth closed CAsk before leaving the table CWait for others before you start eating. CMake sure there is enough food for others when helping yourself. There is a great DVD “The Ron Clark Story” about Disney’s teacher of the year. It is an inspirational true story about how he developed and implemented 55 Essential Rules of success for his classroom. These rules/manners plus his support and devotion transformed the lives of these inner city kids who then went on to make a success of their lives in adverse circumstances. Our kids want to be good kids and be liked. Teaching manners are life skills to help them succeed. There is a biblical principle of loving God and loving others and having good manners is a way of showing kindness and respect. Others will feel good in our company. Our kids can still be cool while being considerate and courteous and this in turn will make the world a nice place to live in. “Seek constantly to improve your manners and graces, for they are the sugar to which all are attracted.”
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The following is a list of rules we have displayed in our home:
Golden Rules for Living If you open it, close it. If you turn it on, turn it off. If you unlock it, lock it up. If you break it, admit it. If you can’t fix it, call someone who can. If you borrow it, return it. If you value it, take care of it. If you make a mess, clean it up. If you move it, put it back. If it belongs to someone else, get permission to use it. If you don’t know how to operate it, leave it alone. If it doesn’t concern you, don’t get involved.
Candice desires to see people thrive in every area of life. She has been married for 16 years to a Paediatrician and they have lived in South Africa, New Zealand and Canada but have called the Gold Coast, Australia home for the last 4 years. They have four children between the ages of 4 and 12. Her passion is to “Live well, laugh often, love much”. She has a Degree in Psychology and a Diploma in Counselling. She loves to help people live to their full God-given potential spirit, soul and body. She enjoys counselling and watching God bring healing and restoration. She is a trained facilitator of ‘Toolbox Parenting’ which offers families hot tips on parenting well.
S
book
REVIEW
by Michelle Dennis Evans
Judging Meghan by Trudy Adams
Young Adult Historical Fiction www.trudyadams.info/
Meghan is the middle child with four siblings. Her family faces shocking circumstances, where they have to move and travel to find work on the road. Judging Meghan gives a very descriptive look at life in Australia through the depression years of 1931-1932. Meghan sees the world as black and white, right or wrong. She faces loss of friendship, a moment where death stares her in the face and an altercation with the law. The discovery of forgiveness and her true value allows her to stand up for justice. This novel allows the reader to look at friendships, the ones that work and the ones that hurt. Also, something many of us struggle with for many different reasons, forgiveness. What is it and who is forgiveness really for? Another attribute to the book is the look at family, what holds your family together and what makes families fall apart? An absolute joy to read with every page urging you to read on. Judging Meghan has become one of my all time favourite reads.
“A FISTFUL OF DIAMONDS – Living on full when life serves empty” Fuel for your journey Sparkle for your day Respite for your soul Hope for your future
A beautiful hardback gift book, colour illustrated, with a silver ribbon bookmark
It will make you laugh, or maybe cry... but it will remind you how treasured you are, and how significant you are to your world! Available online at www.drministries.com or email Lynda – lynda@drministries.com $15.00 each - postage free within Australia
Indulge | October 2011 | 37
BODY
Easy Entertaini 38 | www.indulgemagazine.com.au
ing
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I
recently had the absolute privilege of exploring with a group of women where our current culture’s definition of beauty has arisen from. With what could be likened to a surgical dissection, I pulled apart the image of what we consider attractive today and revealed to these women the origins of this image. This message arose out of a heart desire to expose the true meaning of beautiful. After all, who really decides what’s beautiful? Is it the media? Is it the culture? Is it history? Is it our family? Is it our friends? Is it our past? Or is there more to it than that? Perhaps I can share with you what I shared with them. I believe that you will, like I did, find it both entertaining, ridiculous even, but also revelational. Would you care to take a step back in time with me?
Who Decides What’s
Beautiful?
Part 1
by Dr Cris Beer
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15th Century – Renaissance In the 15th century, upper-class ladies of northern Europe painfully plucked their hairline to make their foreheads seem higher, and scraped their hair back under an elaborate headdress. Blonde hair and pale skin was considered to be a sign of beauty and high class. Hard to believe as it seems, thin wasn’t in. Think Mona Lisa, painted in this era by Leonardo da Vinci. In fact, this was not an isolated occurrence in the 15th century, there are centuries of documentation of female beauty, and except for ours, the trend is fairly consistent: beautiful women were considered shapely, soft, and rounded. So when was thin in? Let’s keep moving forward in time to find out. 16th Century – Elizabethan era Queen Elizabeth was instrumental in setting the female trends for this era (thus the name). Society women copied her naturally pale complexion and red hair, using white powder in great abundance, along with red wigs. Thin still wasn’t in in this century, with women portrayed as curvy, full, and solid. They seem to occupy space in a way foreign to us; with our culture so intent on making less of ourselves. Let’s now skip forward to the turn of the century.
Turn of the Century – 1900s The turn of the century was a pivotal time for women. Magazine covers echoed the shift that was occurring, showing small men against large, powerful women. Feminism was in the air. The famed ‘Gibson Girl’ drawings were buxom by our standards, s-shaped, and aloof, their hair piled high upon their heads – their bodies restrained in corsets. These corsets required at least two people to tie up at the back and were said to be so tight that women would frequently faint due to lack of oxygen (truly ridiculous!).
inordinate amount of time living up to the ‘50s ideal of beauty. The dichotomy to this depiction was the popularised ‘pin-up’ model, namely Marilyn Monroe, who by current standards was not considered thin. She was a size 14-16 and skimpily flaunted a curvaceous body. 1960s – Social Upheaval The 1960’s saw civil rights campaigns, as well as a new wave of feminism, throwing off the domesticity of the 50’s. As women sought to distance themselves from the role of wife and mother, the androgynous ideal once again surfaced in Twiggy, a stick-thin model, which was the first time in our history that thin was considered beautiful. Barbie was born, with dimensions when extrapolated to life-size would be 180cm tall, 52kg, and a BMI of 16. In essence she meets the medical criteria for anorexia. Not exactly a great role-model for young girls.
1920s – The Jazz Age During the ‘Roaring Twenties,’ societal trends reacted against the puritanical Victorian standards of beauty. Popular new short bobbed hairstyles and donning baggy, short dresses symbolised the growing freedom of women. These ‘flappers’, as they were known, were not waifs. Some did bind their breasts down, but not to look thinner, but rather to appear more boyish. They were out to prove that they were every bit as good as their male counterparts, which initially manifested itself as imitation. The impact of cinema was felt for the first time, as Dr Cris will continue her journey through women increasingly took their beauty cues from the decades in the November issue of Indulge film stars. where she will unveil the answer to her question “Who decides what is beautiful? “ 1940s – The War Years Don’t Miss it! Throughout the 1930s and 1940s, Hollywood starlets continued to set the trends in women’s Cristina was born in Portugal to fashion. For the first time, tanned skin began Portuguese parents to be perceived as a symbol of high class — and immigrated to again showing the influence of screen stars on Australia at the age standards of beauty. of 5 years old. She 1950s – The American Dream In the uncertain times following the end of World War II, and sensing the ‘American tradition’ threatened, families reverted to more conservative values. The glamorous woman at home, able to attend to all domestic chores without a hair out of place, became a popular image. As a result, many women spent an
has lived and studied for the most part on the Gold Coast. Cristina attained university degrees in Biomedical Science and Bachelor of Medicine/Bachelor of Surgery. She is also a qualified personal fitness trainer and nutritionist. “I have a special interest in holistic medicine, with a focus on natural and anti-aging medicine”. She is currently working in general practice on the Gold Coast. “I have a burning desire to see people live whole, healthy, and balanced lives in the fullness of God’s plan for them”.
Indulge | October 2011 | 41
Flatter your face shape
with a few quick tips
W
e look at them every day, but do you really know what face shape you have? Knowing your face shape means you can choose your most flattering hairstyles, hats, eyeglasses, sunglasses and earrings. With your hair pulled back off your face and draw the outline of your face in the mirror using an old lipstick or an erase marker or take a photo front on instead. Compare your face shape to the diagrams below courtesy of The Australian Image Company to choose the best hair styles and accessories to suit.
Oval
* Your face is slightly longer than wide * Your jawline is slightly rounded * The outline of your face is an inverted eggshape (face is widest at the cheekbones) * Your forehead is fairly broad (broader than jaw) C Congratulations you have the perfect shaped face and can wear just about anything.
42 | www.indulgemagazine.com.au
by Jane Allen
Oblong/Rectangle * Your face is definitely longer than wide * Your jaw is broad and your jaw-line is square * The sides of your face are straight (forehead, cheekbones and jawline are the same width) * Your hairline is most likely straight * Oblong is the same as a rectangle shape except it has a softer jawline * Your hairline may be rounded CAvoid long earrings and middle parts. Choose hairstyles and accessories that create width.
Square
* Your face is almost as wide as it is long * Your jaw is broad and your jawline is square * The sides of your face are straight (forehead, cheekbones and jaw are the same width) * Your hairline is most probably straight C Look for styles that visually lengthen your face and soften the jawline. Wear earrings that are longer rather than wide.
Inverted Triangle Round * Your face is almost as /Heart-Shaped wide as it is long
* Your jaw-line is round and full * Your cheekbones are the widest part of your face and round *Your hairline is most probably round CAvoid roundish styles, heavy straight fringes; wear earrings that create length to slim the face.
*The only difference between the inverted
triangle and the heart shaped faces are that the heart has a widow’s peak * Your face is slightly longer than wide *Your jawline is long and pointed *The sides of your face taper from your forehead to your jaw * Your forehead is the widest part of your face, or the same width as your cheekbones CAvoid hair pulled back off the forehead. Choose hair styles that add volume and width. Select earrings that add width and avoid overly long styles.
Triangle or Pear-Shaped
* Your face is slightly longer than wide
* Your jaw is broad * The side of your face tapers from your jaw to your forehead * Your jaw is the widest part of your face and your forehead is narrow CAvoid haircuts close to the head at the temples, avoid round or overly wide earrings that will create width. Do choose rectangle and drop earrings to lengthen your face.
Diamond *Your face is slightly longer than wide * Your jawline is long and pointed * Your cheekbones are the widest part of your face, they are often high and pointed * Your forehead and jawline are tapered * Your eyes, nose and mouth are well balanced vertically CLook for styles that visually broaden your forehead and chin. Avoid short hair styles and centre parts. Jane is a Professional Image Consultant, based in Canberra. Jane has a passion not just for fashion but for you to always look and feel your very best. She has always been passionate about women rediscovering their femininity and helping them love who they are from the inside out. Jane trained with The Australian Image Company which, combined with 20 years of experience as a hair stylist, service in women’s retail fashion as well as motivational speaking, gives her a unique insight into how to empower and equip every man and woman. www.styledge.com.au
Images courtesy of The Australian Image Company www.taic.com.au/
Indulge | October 2011 | 43
Bathing in Blue
the hottest colour in town this spring Beautiful blue is the best buy this season with all shades featuring strongly in fashion pieces and accessories.
HUSSY $379.00
FORCAST $79.00
BARDOT $59.95
NOVO $89.95
NIXON $99.95
BARDOT $89.95
RIPCURL Wallet
At Indulge we have tried and tested Moroccan Oil Intensive Treatment and have rated it 10/10! Give your hair the five star treatment it deserves. Moroccan Oil Intensive Treatment $44.50 44 | www.indulgemagazine.com.au
Pictures courtesy of Westfield Online www.westfield.com.au
Colour Your World...
‘Pops’ of colour are everywhere. No amount of colour is enough, so have fun with this bright and bubbly season
KATIES $49.95
NAPOLEON PERDIS Divine Goddess $35.00
KATIES $49.95
PINK STITCH Maxi $74.95
NOVO Nadia $79.95
x x a y n a T Love
KATIES Colour T-Shirt
NOVO Runway $79.95
Indulge | October 2011 | 45
BARKINS $79.95
Easy Enter taining Angela Frost Food Editor
CHIVE BLINIS WITH HOT SMOKED SALMON AND HERB CREAM CHEESE Makes approx 36 Prep 20 minutes | Cook 20 minutes
46 | www.indulgemagazine.com.au
3/4 cup buttermilk 1 egg 3/4 cup self raising flour pinch of salt 1 tbsp fresh chives - chopped finely butter - melted 1/2 cup sour cream 1/2 cup spreadable cream cheese 2 tbsp mixed fresh herbs - dill, chives and parsley - chopped finely 1 tsp lemon zest 200g pkt hot smoked salmon 1. Combine buttermilk and egg in a large jug, whisk. 2. Sift in flour and salt, whisk until smooth. Add chives and stir. 3. Heat fry pan to a medium heat and brush with melted butter. Drop a teaspoon amount of batter into the pan and cook for 1-2 minutes each side until golden. Place on a plate and cool. Repeat till mixture is finished. 4. Combine sour cream, cream cheese, fresh herbs and lemon zest. Mix until smooth. 5. Arrange blinis on a serving platter and top with a teaspoon of cream cheese mixture and a small piece of salmon
ASIAN PRAWNS
Prep 10 minutes | Cook 10 minutes Serves 6-8
1/3 cup salt reduced Soy Sauce 2 tbsp honey 2 tbsp Sweet Chilli sauce 1/4 tsp sesame oil 1 spring onion- sliced thinly 2 garlic cloves - crushed 18 green prawns 1/4 cup oil
1. Combine Soy Sauce, honey, Sweet Chilli sauce, sesame oil, spring onion and one garlic clove. Mix well. 2. Heat a frypan to medium heat, add oil and garlic, cook for 3-4 minutes, then add prawns and cook for 5-7 minutes until cooked through. 3. Place prawns into chinese spoons and spoon one tbsp of dressing over each prawn.
MINI MERINGUES TOPPED WITH LEMON CURD AND FRESH BERRIES
Makes 25 | Prep 15 minutes | Cook 60 minutes
4 egg whites 1 cup castor sugar 1/2 tsp vanilla essence 1/2 tsp cornflour 1 tsp white vinegar 1 jar of store brought Lemon curd whipped cream, fresh raspberries and blueberries to top
1. Preheat oven to 120°c. Line two baking trays with baking paper. 2. Beat egg whites until soft peaks appear then gradually add sugar a tbsp at a time until sugar dissolves. Add vanilla, cornflour and vinegar and mix to combine. 3. Use two tsps to spoon small amounts of meringue mixture onto lined trays. 4. Reduce oven to 100°c. Bake for one hour. Turn oven off and leave meringues in the oven to cool. 5.Top with lemon curd, cream| and fresh2011 berries. Indulge October | 47
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