IMAGE Magazine

IMAGE FALL 2017

$5.50

BLACK BUSINESS, LEADERSHIP, EDUCATION & SOCIETY

WOMAN OF POWER EDITORIAL DIRECTOR & TV HOST

CAROLINE CLARKE 2017 BLACK ENTERPRISE

FORGIVING

WHITE PEOPLE FOR THE SIN OF SLAVERY

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contents FALL 2017

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FAITH PERSPECTIVE

6 FORGIVING WHITE PEOPLE Why African Americans should Forgive White People for the Sin of Slavery 8 THE BELOVED COMMUNITY Addressing Societal Issues Through the Lens of Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.

EDUCATION

11 SUPPORTING YOUR CHILDREN When External Factors Affect Student Performance

HEALTH

12 COPING WITH POST TRAUMATIC STRESS DISORDER Get the Help You Need 14 EAT LIKE A CHAMP Cancer-Fighting Foods

FEATURES

18 NEW EAST SIDE SAN ANTONIO University Health System Honors the Service and Legacy of Dr. Robert L.M. Hilliard

WHAT IT TAKES TO WIN PASTOR KIRBYJON CALDWELL

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20 COVER STORY Caroline Clarke shares her thoughts on what it means to be a Woman of Power and the joy of locating her biological family 34 ENTREPRENEUR SPOTLIGHT A talk with Lloyd Gite, owner of The Gite Gallery, in Houston's Historic Third Ward

29 Q and A with business mogul and author MATHEW KNOWLES about his book, The DNA of Achievers

EVENT COVERAGE

30 SNAPSHOTS BLACK ENTERPRISE ENTREPRENEURS SUMMIT

24 Q and A with COURTNEY JOHNSON-ROSE, Chairwoman of the Greater Houston Black Chamber of Commerce, on the impact of the 2017 Black Enterprise Entrepreneurs Summit 25 Q and A with SELENA HILL, Digital Editor of Black Enterprise on the influence of millennials in the marketplace 26 KIRBYJON CALDWELL Senior Pastor of Windsor Village UMC in Houston, Texas, delivers inspirational message to entrepreneurs on What It Takes To Win

RELATIONSHIPS

32 DESTINATION WEDDING Scenes from the wedding ceremony

38 PULL THAT TRIGGER Let Go of that Dead End Relationship

IN EVERY ISSUE 5 Publisher's Note 31 Poetry

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INSIDE IMAGE STAFF YOUR LIFE MATTERS

PUBLISHER Diane Hannah EDITOR T. Max McMillan EDITORIAL ASSISTANT Joy McGhee GRAPHIC DESIGN 356 Graphix

BLACK. LIVES. MATTER. BLACK BUSINESSES MATTER. BLACK CHURCHES MATTER. BLACK LEADERS MATTER. BLACK COLLEGES AND UNIVERSITIES MATTER. BLACK SOCIAL ORGANIZATIONS MATTER. BLACK HISTORY MATTERS. BLACK UNITY MATTERS. BLACK MENTORS MATTER. BLACK MUSIC MATTERS. BLACK PROTESTS MATTER. BLACK MEDIA MATTERS...You get the point.

WE MATTER and that which concerns us matters.

Since childhood, I have always enjoyed reading articles in various magazines. My favorite magazine as a teenager was Seventeen.

Eventhough there was minimal representation of young melanated girls like myself, the fashion trends and features of famous singers and actors were enough to keep me engaged and looking forward to the next month's issue.

With the passing of time–during my young adult years–Ebony, Jet, Essence and Black Enterprise became my preferred publications as these were, and still are, magazines that affirm Black beauty, Black talent, and Black intellectualism. There is a sense of pride that comes from reading stories of powerful, creative, successful individuals who look like me.

In keeping with the mission of IMAGE, our cover features Caroline Clarke, Founding Editorial Director and TV Host for Women of Power, a division of Black Enterprise. Clarke gives us a glimpse into her book, Postcards from Cookie and she shares her thoughts on what it means to be a Woman of Power. We have also included event coverage of the 2017 Black Enterprise Entrepreneurs Summit held in Houston, Texas. Other articles on faith, health, relationships, and more, will inspire, enlighten, and hopefully enourage you to stay the course and finish strong!

Diane Hannah Publisher

COVER DESIGN James Ben, Jr. Signature Studios of Houston COVER PHOTOGRAPHY Lonnie Major Black Enterprise ADVERTISING Diane Hannah CONTRIBUTORS

Dr. Patricia Adams Dr. Trevor Alexander Terry Baugh Bessard Carol Clayborne Walda Collins Dr. Chanel Young-Pope

CONTACT US

FOR LETTERS TO THE EDITOR & SUBMISSION OF MATERIALS FOR REVIEW OR PRINT SEND EMAIL TO: Editor@imagemagazinetx.com TO ADVERTISE SEND EMAIL TO: Info@imagemagazinetx.com or call 713.369.1994

IMAGE Magazine is published quarterly. All rights reserved. Reproduction in whole or in part without written permission from the publisher is prohibited. Articles and letters will be edited due to space limitations as necessary. The views expressed in any story or column in this publication are those of the individual writers and do not necessarily reflect those of the publisher or advertisers. The publisher is not responsible for errors in advertising copy. IMAGE Magazine reserves the right to reject any article, photograph, or advertisement for any reason. IMAGE Magazine will not be held liable for services or products advertised in IMAGE. All product names, brand names, and trademarks may belong to their respective holders. Printed in the USA. IMAGE Magazine is committed to providing editorial content that is relevant to the interests of the Black community with the intent to inspire each reader to use their gifts, talents, and resources to make a positive impact in the world.

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FAITH PERSPECTIVE

DR. BARBARA WILLIAMS-SKINNER

on why forgiving white people for the enslavement of our ancestors is necessary for the advancement of the black community.

By DIANE HANNAH

SKINNER: It will take black people forgiving white people so we can move on. Forgiveness is obedience to the Word of God. The Word of God says in Matthew 6:14 that if you do not forgive, you will not be forgiven. There is some baggage and bondage that we are in that we shouldn’t be in because we are holding on to this anger and rage which we’re turning on ourselves. A lot of violence in the African American community−domestic violence and hate of a person that looks like you−comes from this bondage. Light skin vs. dark skin. Degree vs. no degree. Poor against rich. Northern vs.

Southern. This is all baggage from the past. Forgiveness and advancing the black community go hand in hand, so we would be the greatest benefactors. Forgiving others is not saying what they did was right; it is obeying God who will take care of them for what they did. That’s what forgiveness is.

IMAGE: How do we do that? How do we forgive them, and do you agree that it’s easier said than done?

SKINNER: Oh, absolutely! In my own personal experience, forgiving a father who abandoned me couldn’t be done without the power of God. You have to acknowledge that you’re hurt and then literally give that hurt to God–the only One who can handle it.

Then you’re released to go and become who God has destined you to be. It is hard, and it’s impossible to do it without the power of the Holy Spirit.

IMAGE: I read your article in the Huffington Post, Racial Equality in America: Fact or Fiction. In the article, you stated, “America’s greatest threat comes from within. That threat is the unresolved, unreconciled, unrepented, unforgiven and unrestituted enslavement of humans.” Why do you believe the institution of slavery remains unrestituted?

SKINNER: Because it would cost too much for those who benefit. There is privilege whether people are sons and daughters of slave owners or not. White privilege is a reality, and why would you give up that privilege? The right thing to do is to fight against it because it’s demonic, and it doesn’t come from the throne of God; it comes from the pit. It takes white people acknowledging what they did−not what they personally did, but what their people did.

IMAGE: How will forgiving white people for the sin of slavery benefit us?

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IMAGE: Do you believe that unforgiveness has hindered the progress of African Americans?

SKINNER: Absolutely! Notwithstanding that, God is faithful, and He has advanced so much through us–the building of our historically black colleges, our organizations, our service groups, and the like. He has used us mightily to advance His Kingdom, but imagine how much more we could do. Unforgiveness keeps us from trusting each other and from using that 1.2 trillion dollars of our spending power to build more schools and more community centers and from making sure our businesses are funded. Unforgiveness is hurting us in every way.

IMAGE: Systemic racism continues to permeate the fabric of American society. How do we forgive the past while facing the current realities and injustices that are still perpetuated against African Americans?

SKINNER: If someone does something wrong to me, I can release that to God without agreeing with the wrong. I’m still fighting against injustice. I’m still mobilizing African Americans to resist in every way. I’m not agreeing with evil. What I’m doing is releasing the spirit of unforgiveness from me personally so I can go on, but I’m resisting evil with everything I have. Today,

“So as long as America doesn’t acknowledge its sin of racial injustice from enslavement, as long as it doesn’t begin to right the wrong and pay restitution−because that’s what you pay when you are wrong−then white America is hurt as well.”

the evils still continue. Even after I resist, I need to pray without ceasing because God can deal with an attorney general who’s trying to roll back voting rights. Some of these people are going to jail, but we’ve got to be praying. We’ve got to trust that God is going to handle them. He will handle our business if we handle His business.

IMAGE: In the article, you also mentioned efforts to label America as “post-racial”. Do you believe that America is “post-racial”?

SKINNER: America will be post-racial when it’s post-racist. No, we are not post-racial because we are not post-racist.

IMAGE: Do you believe America will ever be post-racist?

SKINNER: That’s the process of biblical reconciliation−identifying those whites and others who are actually working with us to begin building greater bonds of unity by fighting against systemic injustices including the criminal justice system, healthcare system, education, housing, and the like. But our challenge and our charge for God is Matthew 25. We are responsible for the poor in our communities; we act as though this is white people’s problem. All black people are not poor; 40% of us are in the middle class, so what are we doing to move our people from the bottom up?

IMAGE: You referred to inequality as a “spiritual cancer on America’s soul”. How so?

SKINNER: Because you can’t perpetuate evil without it falling on you. It’s like a prison guard. As long as he’s holding the gate shut, he has to stay there to keep it shut. So as long as America doesn’t acknowledge its sin of racial injustice from enslavement, as long as it doesn’t begin to right the wrong and pay restitution– because that’s what you pay when you are wrong–then white America is hurt as well. They are fearful; they are hurt by fear and by the violence of black people who attack white people–you don’t know if you’re the next person to be attacked, and you can’t get behind enough gated communities to deal with that. There’s such a rage in the black community, and we’re turning it on ourselves.

But also, those among us who are so angry and can’t corral that rage are turning it against white people. Therefore, the cancer is hurting both the victim and those who cause the cancer.

IMAGE: Regarding the current president of the United States, what should be the mindset and posture of African Americans?

SKINNER: The posture of African Americans should be the same as it is with any president. Do we have an agenda? What is our agenda? We still have to advance God’s Kingdom–I’m talking about black Christians. We still have to advance God’s Kingdom

by making our voices heard on behalf of the poor–we should be doing that. We should be meeting with somebody about justice over at the Department of Justice. We should be finding out what they’re doing with small businesses. We should be making sure that our HBCU’s are not hurt. We should be vigilant. And if we’re following the Word of God, we should be praying for them because the Bible doesn’t say pray for Republicans or Democrats; it says pray for leaders that there be peace in the land. We should be advancing the agenda of those facing injustice, and we should also be praying for this president that God would turn his stony heart into a heart of flesh.

IMAGE: Although we are no longer physically enslaved, do you believe that in some ways African Americans are still in mental bondage?

SKINNER: We are in bondage as long as we are not completely surrendered to the Lord God Almighty to be everything He’s called us to be. So, in that sense, yes. The laws of the 13th, 14th, and 15th Amendments and the civil rights laws made us free as citizens−as voting citizens−but not equal. We’re not in jail and in shackles, but we’re not considered equal. You go to buy a house and you might get a different price than a white person. That’s inequality, but you’re free.

IMAGE: What should the message of parents, spiritual leaders, educators, and other leaders be to our youth in this racist climate?

SKINNER: We should help our young people realize that there is no limit to what they can do and be by teaching them their history.

We should help them understand how we got over. Most black parents and grandparents aren’t even telling their children how we survived slavery–how resilient we were, how awesome we were, how we got through post-emancipation, how we built extraordinary institutions that are still alive today. We should help them understand how magnificent they are; they come from resilient people. We must give them a sense of identity and confidence so they believe that they can do anything.

Dr. Barbara Williams-Skinner is President and Co-Founder of the Skinner Leadership Institute. She is a public strategist, author, faith and community leader, and educator. Dr. Williams-Skinner has served as Executive Director of the Congressional Black Caucus and was appointed by President Barack Obama to the White House Fait7h Council for Faith-Based and Public Partnerships.

For more information about Dr. Williams-Skinner, visit: www.skinnerleadership.org.

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FAITH PERSPECTIVE

THE

BELOVED COMMUNITY Through the Lens of Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.

By DR. TREVOR ALEXANDER

I

n the last edition of IMAGE, I mentioned Dr. King’s “Beloved Community” as a blueprint to be examined as a possible solution, or at the very least, used as part of the solution to help bring peace to our communities.

It is worth mentioning that Dr. King was not the first to coin the phrase “Beloved Community”. Josiah Royce, a 20th century philosopher and theologian who founded The Fellowship of Reconciliation of which Dr. King was a member, was the first to use this term, but it was Dr. King who made it popular.

Dr. King spent time laying out his plans for “The Beloved Community”, but sadly, he didn’t live long enough to implement the foundations of his plans. This is what Dr. King said it takes to build “The Beloved Community”: “But the end is reconciliation; the end is redemption; the end is the creation of the beloved community.

It is this type of spirit and this type of love that can transform opposers into friends. It is this type of understanding and good will that will transform the deep gloom of the old age into the exuberant gladness of the new age. It is the love which will bring about miracles...”

According to Dr. King, first, is the idea of reconciliation. While working towards reconciliation, we must tackle the issues that he called “Triple Evils of Poverty, Racism, and Militarism”. Dr. King saw these three 8 IMAGEMAGAZINEONLINE.COM • FALL 2017

points as barriers to building “The Beloved Community”; all three of these entities are what form the vicious cycle of violence.

This is a good starting point towards reconciliation.

We might not agree on all three of Dr. King’s points of the “Triple Evils”, and we don’t have to. Prayerfully, we can agree on at least one point as our common ground.

Finding common ground means being willing to enter into meaningful dialogue. I must add, meaningful dialogue is not always pretty, but it is essential.

Jesus stated that God will not forgive our sins if we do not forgive those who sin against us (Matt. 6:14-15, Mark 11:25). Many of us recite this nightly in our prayers, but do we practice it? If we truly practice this portion of the Lord’s Prayer, then forgiveness and reconciliation work like a glove−you need both to make it work.

During our reconciliation stage,we are actively working to heal broken conditions and attitudes. This is where dialogue becomes crucial. To heal broken relationships, I must listen to the pain of others, and yes, take responsibility for the pain that I may have caused. Also, the offended/wounded party has to be willing to listen to me, hear my confession, and allow me to offer an explanation even if it falls short of the offended/wounded person’s desires or expectations. Often, the explanation is more for the one giving it, than the one receiving it.

It is important to remember that the end goal is reconciliation; it is equally important to note that this process will take time.

The second part of building “The Beloved

Community” −although not mentioned by Dr. King but engrained in the community− is the spirit of Ubuntu. Ubuntu is a South African word that invokes the spirit of community and humanity. The meaning of Ubuntu is, “I am because we are.” When we use this principle, we invoke a sense of community and brotherly and sisterly love. It is the collective responsibility for us all. This phase also requires a change in attitude. For some, their community is “my four and no more”. At this level, I must expand my thinking and my philosophy, be willing to examine my values, and make some readjustments if necessary. At this phase, to paraphrase Dr. King, “Opposers are transformed into friends.”

It is at this point that I hear the Gospel of Matthew 5:44 calling out to me. In the Sermon on the Mount, Jesus proclaims that we should “…Love your enemies, bless them that curse you...”. This is a hard step.

With the spirit of Ubuntu as the backdrop, we have to execute what Jesus told Peter to do in John 21—show “Agape Love” which is “unconditional love”. This kind of love is not shallow but deeply embedded into our spiritual DNA. When we love someone, we make a conscious effort to treat them with the uttermost respect and honor that transcends differences and/or deficiencies we may see in them. The principle of Agape love is much the same, but we are called to not just love the “likeable”, we are also called to love the “unlikable”. Yes, and to even love our enemies.

Finally, in building “The Beloved Community”, we must work towards redemption. I

“To build the Beloved Community we must be willing to continue the mission of humanity, to explore new and all possibilities toward establishing a loving community, to seek out people of like-minded attitude and spirit, and to boldly go where only a few in our society have barely scratched the surface.” want to build this stage on two scriptures: Galatians 6:1-5, “Brothers, if anyone is caught in any transgression, you who are spiritual should restore him in a spirit of gentleness. . . Bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ.” and Proverbs 27:6, “Faithful are the wounds of a friend.”

What is redemption? According to vocabulary.com, “Redemption comes from the Latin word redimere, a combination of re(d)-, meaning “back” and emere, meaning “buy”. Redemption is what some people claim happens to your soul when you’re saved from evil forces.” When we marry this up to “The Beloved Community”, we see a biblical fit. We are all created to be one, and Jesus prayed that same prayer in John 17:21 when he said,“That they all may be one; as thou, Father, art in me, and I in thee, that they also may be one in us.”

Joss Whedon said, “Redemption is something you have to fight for in a very personal, down-and-dirty way. Some of our characters lose that, some stray from that, and some regain it.” Like the other two stages, the work of redemption will not be easy. At this stage, we have to employ mutual accountability. We have to be willing to hold each other accountable for our actions; otherwise, we might repeat bad behaviors that may fracture our concept of “The Beloved Community”.

Why is mutual accountability important?

Like I once heard someone say, “It’s hard to trust the same flame that burnt your hand to warm you.” Mutual accountability offers us the opportunity to work on our oneness

with the end result being redemption— meaning, a purchased community that is configured on the biblical notion that evil will not be given the opportunity to raise its ugly head−a community that functions in the true spirit of brotherly and sisterly love.

It is noteworthy to express that in Dr. King’s Beloved Community, hunger, poverty, and homelessness are not tolerated, and special attention is given to the human dignity of all people. These are societal issues that we must also address to make this community “Beloved”.

I close with this parting thought of the opening monologue from Star Trek (with a few modifications). To build “The Beloved Community” we must be willing to continue the mission of humanity, to explore new and all possibilities toward establishing a loving community, to seek out people of like-minded attitude and spirit, and to boldly go where only a few in our society have barely scratched the surface.

“.....in Dr. King’s Beloved Community, hunger, poverty, and homelessness are not tolerated, and special attention is given to the human dignity of all people.”

Dr. Trevor Alexander is Pastor of True Vine Christian Fellowship in San Antonio, Texas and a Professor of Religion at the University of the Incarnate Word.

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EDUCATION

WHEN EXTERNAL FACTORS AFFECT STUDENT PERFORMANCE

HOW PARENTS CAN SUPPORT THEIR CHILDREN

By CAROL CLAYBORNE

I

t wasn’t until halfway through my third year of teaching that I had an epiphany. Though slightly smaller than the average first-grader, Curtis, in spite of my best efforts, had managed to consistently distract and antagonize his classmates to the point of altercation. This particular day after redirection, he returned to his seat and curled up in a ball–arms clasped around his legs refusing to work. By the time I had crossed the room to speak with him again, all the previous anger in his face had given way to a strange stillness. He calmly looked up at me–eyes wide open ̶ and said, “My little brother died.”

I was speechless. After a short pause, he continued, “I miss my little brother a lot.” Suddenly, it all made sense.

After 10 years of teaching diverse student populations where the finances, faces, and cognitive abilities changed each year, one thing remained constant–no group was immune to life-stressors which negatively impacted their chances of succeeding both in and outside of the classroom. When I began teaching, my goal was simple: change the world one child at a time.

However, as time progressed, the number of students with challenges similar to those of Curtis increased to almost a third of the room. Students’ cries for help in the form of low academic performance, fighting, bullying, and a general lack of respect for each other make daily instruction a challenge at best and completely ineffective at worst.

I have first-hand experience on how debilitating personal concerns can be in an academic setting. I graduated high school in the top 10% of my class. As soon as I entered college, I became overwhelmed with worry concerning the health of my father. This, compounded by the stress of being away from home on a college campus where I struggled to find good friends and a place to fit in, made studying an act of futility. I retained very little but tried to carry on.

Later in 1994, I began a battle with a neuropathic attack on my limbs. In addition, the death of my paternal grandfather in July 1994 and that of my father in November 1994 brought my academic progress to a halt. I completed my undergraduate degree in 1996–two years too late for my father to attend and a full 6 years beyond the average student. I felt like a total failure.

“Students’ cries for

help in the form of low academic performance, fighting, bullying, and a general lack of respect for each other make daily instruction a challenge at best and completely ineffective at worst.

”

It took years of intercessory prayer on the part of family members and a handful of new medical treatments before my legs recovered, and by 2006, I completed two sprint triathlons. It took an additional few years and a few counseling sessions offered through my job before I had the courage to take the Graduate Record Exam (GRE) in 2010. I began graduate school with the weight of my past trials ̶ assault, rejection, depression, and some anxiety. I moved in with my mother while completing my program in San Antonio with the intent of helping her wherever and however I could, but she turned the tables on me and immediately set about rebuilding what life had taken away.

Almost daily, she told me how smart, creative, energetic, caring, beautiful, and blessed beyond measure I was. She regularly told me how blessed her life was with me in her home, and when I left for school in the mornings she stood on the porch smiling, waving, and wishing me a great day as I pulled out of the driveway. I also began attending a spiritled Bible-based church where I not only found acceptance, but responsibility as a short term small group leader. Leading the women’s group was difficult while working and attending graduate school full-time, but the pastor’s faith in me along with his wife’s encouragement and the participants' testimonies fueled me to complete my assignment.

In addition, I attended a weekend retreat that focused on addressing issues that lead (continued on page 36) FALL 2017 • IMAGEMAGAZINEONLINE.COM 11

HEALTH

PTSD POST TRAUMATIC STRESS DISORDER DR. PATRICIA ADAMS offers ways to cope with life-changing circumstances.

A

s a psychotherapist, I’ve been frequently asked, “How do you think people are dealing with everything that has happened?” The answer is rather simplistic: People’s response to traumatic events varies a great deal. I’ve spoken with many people who have responded with a deeper since of faith and a resolve to carry on. Some have responded to these recent events with many questions and uncertainties―it has challenged their belief in God. Others have responded with classic post trauma symptoms.

As a mental health provider, I have seen an increased number of clients suffering from symptoms of Post-traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). In simple terms, PTSD is defined as a disorder that results from a person experiencing or witnessing an event involving actual or threatened death or injury. This event is re-experienced through intense recollections, recurrent dreams, or feeling as though the event was actually happening. There is significant distress caused by things that symbolize or resemble the event. An individual tries to avoid things that remind him or her of that particular event. There may be a detachment from others and diminished interest or participation in activities. Finally, the person may experience trouble sleeping, more irritability, trouble concentrating, and a sense of hyper vigilance (the feeling of constantly being on guard). This type of response can cause significant difficulty with daily functioning.

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It is important to understand that each of us has a different level of vulnerability to this type of anxiety response based upon several variables. Some research indicates that our genetic make-up determines the way we react to stressful situations. Individuals already predisposed to depression and/or anxieties are at greater risk of developing PTSD. Stress is also cumulative.

Therefore, if a person was already dealing with a great deal of stress and anxiety prior to the attack, that person may have fewer psychological resources with which to cope. Having a good support network can buffer us from developing PTSD following such an occurrence. Therefore, individuals who are more isolated may be at greater risk of developing a more severe reaction to stressful events.

Regardless of the cause, there are several approaches to help you or someone you know who is suffering from PTSD symptoms: Be clear about what you can and can’t control. When information begins to fuel people’s daily fears and anxieties, I recommend that clients limit the amount of time they spend watching news coverage.

Giving oneself permission to take a break from the news is a healthy way to take time out from the stressors of daily living.

We cannot control what others do, but we can control the remote control button.

Connect with others. Be specific with others about the need to connect. Even Jesus

recognized His need to be alone as well as His need to connect with others. When Jesus was facing His darkest hour, He surrounded Himself with His closest friends.

Although many suffering from symptoms of PTSD tend to withdraw, this is the time to seek and deliver appropriate and ongoing communication and support.

Take care of self. Under stress, we humans have a tendency to do things that provide temporary relief but ultimately cause greater pain. Alcohol, smoking, and unhealthy relationships may cause us to feel better momentarily, but they can ultimately add to our stress. Adequate sleep, exercise, and nutrition may not provide a quick fix, but they will buffer us from stress and anxiety. In addition, avoid making lifelong decisions under stress. Often, people make rash decisions (spending money impulsively, hasty marriages) because they sense that the end is near. Such important decisions should never be made under stress. Maintain a balanced life.

Recognize and embrace your limits. How we think about situations can have an enormous effect on the way we cope.

When helping clients process difficult issues, I work specifically with their feelings, behaviors, and thoughts. Or better yet, the ABC’s of life: A – Affects/feelings B – Behaviors/actions C – Cognition/thoughts It is imperative to understand the nature

"Formal therapy

with a trained professional may be warranted if symptoms of depression and anxiety impair your ability to perform necessary daily activities.

"

of all three; they are the driving forces of our lives.

Find comfort in the peace of God. When Jesus talked with His disciples about the time He would no longer be with them, He promised them peace although He knew that the world would not be peaceful. The peace of God is not determined by the circumstances of our sinful world, but by drawing comfort from God who promises that He will be with us always.

Finally, seek help in difficult times. In seeking help there is strength and not weakness. Informal therapy with a friend may be just the catalyst you need to help you move forward. On the other hand, formal therapy with a trained professional may be warranted if symptoms of depression and anxiety impair your ability to perform necessary daily activities. Medication may be necessary as additional intervention. A referral to a primary care physician or psychiatrist should also be considered.

When experiencing PTSD, do not suffer alone. Seek help to get on the path to overcoming tramatizing circumstances.

Dr. Patricia E. Adams is a Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist in San Antonio, Texas and owner of Zeitgeist Wellness Group. For more information, visitzwgroup.biz.

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O

ctober is breast cancer awareness month, but more than focusing on having awareness in October, is the power of educational awareness year-round to help prevent cancer. There is a unique and powerful way to bring health and healing through the foods we eat. Nutritional guidance is a key factor when it comes to raising awareness.

Breast cancer is the second most common kind of cancer in women. To date, approximately 1 in 8 women in the U.S. will undergo the trauma of getting breast cancer. But, there is good news! If detected early enough, many women can survive. Breast cancer is treatable with appropriate and timely intervention.

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By WALDA COLLINS The Center for Disease Control (CDC) supports various programs which are designed to prevent or control cancer.

These programs provide quality breast and cervical cancer screening, better treatment, and programs that help with lowering the risk of cancer. According to the CDC, more than 200,000 women get breast cancer every year, and more than 40,000 women die from the disease. For women ages 40 to 49, the CDC recommends that you talk with your doctor about when to start getting mammograms and how often. Women ages 50 to 74 should get a mammogram once every 2 years and may also choose to get them more often. According to the American Cancer Society (ACS), it is strongly recommended that women between the ages of 45 to 54

undergo an annual screening. After the age of 55, it is recommended that a biennial exam be conducted.

Although there may be slight variances when it comes to a particular age group based on certain agencies, what’s most important is that a mammography be conducted on an annual basis. Women should have the opportunity to receive mammograms as early as age 40 according to the ACS. The main goal is early detection in order to reduce the amount of deaths caused by breast cancer. The American Cancer Society reveals that in the United States there are over 2.8 million breast cancer survivors to include women currently undergoing treatment and those who have completed treatment.

Breast cancer won't be prevented

through screenings; however, knowing the facts can help detect and fight the disease. If you’re not sure where to get screened, check out your local clinic or hospital. Be sure to talk with your doctor or health care provider about the best breast cancer screening options for you and schedule an appointment.

HOW TO KNOW IF YOU’RE AT RISK FOR BREAST CANCER: • Changes in breast cancer-related genes (BRCA1 or BRCA2) • Having your first menstrual period before age 12

with cancer-fighting nutrients such as beta-carotene; it contains ten times the beta-carotene of broccoli which is known for being rich in beta-carotene. Research shows that premenopausal women who consume at least 2 servings of beta-carotene rich foods such as carrots and kale per day have 17% lower risk of developing breast cancer. As a result of kale’s high content of beta-carotene, as well as a number of other anti-oxidant vitamins and phytonutrients, this green leafy vegetable is at the top of the list of vegetables with the highest ORAC rating. ORAC or Oxygen Radical Absorbance Capacity is a measure of the total antioxidant power of foods.

• Never giving birth or being older when your first child is born • Starting menopause after age 55 • Taking hormones to replace missing estrogen and progesterone in menopause for more than five years • Oral contraceptives (birth control pills) • A personal history of breast cancer, dense breasts, or some other breast problems • A family history of breast cancer (parent, sibling, or child) • Getting radiation therapy to the breast or chest • Being overweight, especially after menopause In our quest to truly fight breast cancer or any disease, we have to understand that food is medicine. Consuming some of the best foods can have a preventive measure that reduces the risk of breast cancer by 60-70% while boosting the immune system and keeping your risks minimal. Although there is no food that cures breast cancer, here are several of the greatest super-foods recommended that have cancer-fighting properties: 1. Kale The health benefits of kale are wide and varied, but when it comes to foods that pack an anti-cancer punch, it is almost impossible to beat kale. Kale is packed

WALDA COLLINS 2. Garlic A double blind randomized study with over 3,000 human subjects for seven clinical years showed that cancer risk was cut by 60% for those with the highest intake of allium containing vegetables, including aged garlic.The miracle nutrient appears to be the enzyme allinase (a nutrient in the allium genus) which produces the anti-cancer compounds. The key is to crush it, and let it sit for 15 minutes in order to release these anti-cancer compounds.

3. Asparagus Asparagus is one of the best dietary sources of glutathione, a ‘master antioxidant’ that has gained the spotlight in recent years. Glutathione appears to have widespread functions, many of which may contribute to a reduced risk of breast cancer. For instance, glutathi-

one has been shown to be highly effective at protecting cells against free radical damage; detoxifying foreign substances including carcinogens, and boosting the immune system by influencing lymphocytes. Furthermore, asparagus is a fairly good source of beta-carotene and vitamin C. As an additional bonus, this exceptional plant is typically low in pesticides, even the non-organically grown asparagus.

4. Salmon Packed with omega-3 fatty acids, salmon is an excellent anti-cancer food.

Research suggests that omega-3 fatty acids which are often in short supply in Western diets, can inhibit the growth of breast tumors. In addition to omega-3 fatty acids, salmon delivers an abundance of astaxanthin―another anti-cancer nutrient. Astaxanthin, a carotenoid that gives salmon its pink color, is an extremely powerful antioxidant. To get the most astaxanthin, opt for wild salmon; astaxanthin has been reported to be much more concentrated in wild salmon (especially in sockeye salmon) than in farmed salmon.

Furthermore, wild salmon contains only low levels of polychlorinated biphenyls (PCBs), harmful chemicals that are often found in high quantities in farmed salmon. That said, moderation should be the key in the consumption of wild salmon. Too much high consumption of salmon and other fish may predispose you to an excessive amount of certain toxins (e.g. mercury and pesticides).

The FDA recommends eating fish no more than twice a week. This advice is particularly important for pregnant women and women who are planning to become pregnant because the toxins in fish can impair the neurological development of the unborn baby.

5. Green Tea Green tea is famous for its weight loss promoting properties, but the health benefits of green tea are more varied than that. Evidence suggests that green tea may also help prevent many types of cancer, including breast cancer.

Catechins, the same compounds that are responsible for green tea’s weight loss promoting properties, have been shown to be highly effective at protecting cells against DNA damage caused by free radicals. But the beneficial FALL 2017 • IMAGEMAGAZINEONLINE.COM 15

effects of green tea do not end there.

Green tea has also been shown to suppress urokinase, a type of enzyme that is typically overactive in breast cancer patients. Urokinase is likely to play a key role in cancer cell metastasis (spreading). When buying green tea, choose loose tea leaves instead of tea bags as the release of catechins is better from loose leaves. You may also want to add a bit of lemon juice or other vitamin C rich juice to your tea; research suggests that vitamin C can increase the amount of catechins available for the body to absorb.

6. Mushrooms There are a number of mushrooms that appear to help the body fight cancer and build the immune system such as Shiitake, Reishi, Maitake, and many more. These mushrooms contain powerful compounds that build the immune system. They have a protein called lecithin which unleashes an attack on cancer cells and keeps them from multiplying.

Your health matters! Take control of

16 IMAGEMAGAZINEONLINE.COM • FALL 2017

your health by being aware of the facts and taking steps to reduce the risks of breast cancer. Knowing what to eat can lead to a life of health and healing along with greater results of energy, balance, and a refined lifestyle. Healthy eating habits lead to qualities that make you feel more and more like a champion.

So go on and fight like a girl, but eat like a champ!

Sources: www.cancer.org www.cdc.gov www.breastcancer.org www.prevention.com

Walda Collins is a twenty-three year Marine Corps veteran, faith & life enthusiast, writer, personal chef, and health coach. She is the owner of Strategic AlignMint. For more information, visit: strategicalignment.com

“Knowing what to eat can lead to a life of health and healing along with greater results of energy, balance, and a refined lifestyle.”

FALL 2017 • IMAGEMAGAZINEONLINE.COM 17

NEW UNIVERSITY HEALTH SYSTEM LOCATION WILL HONOR A

Dr. Robert L.M. Hilliard

PIONEERING PHYSICIAN �We are proud to honor

Dr. Hilliard’s service and legacy as we deepen our roots on San Antonio’s East Side by offering families a state-of-the-art health center close to home.”

M

-IRA SMITH

aking good on a promise to invest in improving the health of residents on San Antonio’s East Side, University Health System began construction last October on the Dr. Robert L.M. Hilliard Center, a 25,000-square-foot, state-of-the-art family healthcare center.

Dr. Robert L. M. Hilliard, who passed away in 2014 at the age of 83, had deep and profound ties to the East Side community where he practiced obstetrics and gynecology. He delivered more than 14,000 babies over the course of his career.

He also had significant ties to the two organizations that came together to make this new family health center a reality— University Health System and the San Antonio Housing Authority. Dr. Hilliard was the first African-American physician to receive specialty training at the Robert B. Green Memorial Hospital, the birthplace of the University Health System mission.

He was also a past-chairman of the San An18 IMAGEMAGAZINEONLINE.COM • FALL 2017

tonio Housing Authority, or SAHA, which provided the land for the new health center that will bear his name.

In 1956, Dr. Hilliard became the third black student to earn a medical degree from the University of Texas Medical Branch in Galveston. After serving as a flight surgeon in the Air Force, he came home to San Antonio to complete his residency at the Robert B. Green. A press release issued in 1962 by the Bexar County Hospital District announced his appointment as the first black physician in the South to become chief resident of obstetrics-gynecology at a major teaching hospital. Newspapers across the country picked up the story.

Dr. Hilliard ran into resistance and racism from both colleagues and patients. But like many pioneers, he opened doors for those who followed.

He was a mentor to many young people—serving as clinical associate professor at The University of Texas Health Science Center for much of his career. Over the decades, he held many public service and

leadership positions, including a term on the San Antonio City Council in the 70s, president of the National Medical Association, and president of the Texas State Board of Medical Examiners. He received many significant honors and awards, including the Ashbel Smith Distinguished Alumnus Award from the UT Medical Branch in 1991.

The idea to name the new East Side health center after the distinguished physician began with Bexar County Commissioner for Precinct 4, Tommy Calvert. “Dr. Hilliard was deeply committed to his patients and his community,” said Commissioner Calvert at the official groundbreaking ceremony on October 18, 2016. The only other University Health System location named after an individual is the Robert B. Green campus, which opened in 1917 as the Robert B. Green Memorial Hospital, in memory of a former Bexar County Judge. Coincidentally, Dr. Hilliard was born at the Robert B. Green hospital.

“We are proud to honor Dr. Hilliard’s ser-

vice and legacy as we deepen our roots on San Antonio’s East Side by offering families a state-of-the-art health center close to home,” said Bexar County Hospital District Board of Managers Vice Chair Ira Smith, Jr. “It’s really impossible to measure the impact he had on the lives of his patients, the babies he brought into this world, and the many students and physicians he mentored,“ added Dr. Dianna Burns-Banks, Board of Managers Secretary. “We are delighted to be partnering with SAHA to create a center that will be worthy of the University Health System and Hilliard names.”

The Hilliard Center, located on a 2-acre parcel of land provided by SAHA, is strategically located and provides opportunity for future growth. The partnership between the health system and the local housing authority is an innovative one with significant funding for construction and equipment coming from the Texas 1115 Medicaid Waiver. The Waiver’s Delivery System Reform Incentive Payment program enables health organizations like University Health System to receive federal funding for projects that will result in improved access and outcomes for patients.

“The best partnerships are founded on mu-

“It’s really impossible to measure the impact he had on the lives of his patients, the babies he brought into this world, and the many students and physicians he mentored.”

-Dr. Dianna Burns-Banks

tual interests and goals. And our vision to improve health access and health outcomes is perfectly aligned with SAHA’s vision for transformation and revitalization,” said George B. Hernández, Jr., University Health System President/CEO. “Together, we are committed to making a positive difference for this community and the people who live here.”

“Without our health we have nothing,” said Dr. Morris Stribling, Chairman of the SAHA Board. “At this location, individuals and families will have access to the services and health education resources needed to tackle the health problems plaguing this community such as obesity, diabetes, heart disease, prematurity and asthma.”

The Hilliard Center property is located in an area designed as a Promise Zone by the U.S. Department of Housing and Urban Development. San Antonio is the only community in the nation to receive a Promise Zone designation, as well as three White House Neighborhood Revitalization Initiative grants to bolster children’s educational achievement, foster community development, and improve safety and security.

The $5 million center will open in December and serve as a prototype for future University Health System outpatient clinical locations.

FALL 2017 • IMAGEMAGAZINEONLINE.COM 19

PHOTO By LONNIE MAJOR 20 IMAGEMAGAZINEONLINE.COM • FALL 2017

CAROLINE CLARKE

The roles were reversed—this time, Caroline Clarke was the one answering the questions.

As Editorial Director of the Black Enterprise Women of Power Summit and Host of Women of Power TV, interviewing women of power is just one of her many responsibilities.

Clarke sat down with IMAGE during the Black Enterprise Entrepreneurs Summit held in Houston to discuss what it means to be a woman of power, and she talks about her most recent book, Postcards From Cookie. A wife, mother, author, and positive role model, Caroline Clarke is a woman of power in her own right.

By DIANE HANNAH IMAGE: How long have you been employed by Black Enterprise?

CLARKE: I started at Black Enterprise about 24 years ago. I've held many positions over the years.

IMAGE: How long have you been in your current position?

CLARKE: I’ve been the Editorial Director of Women of Power since it was launched 12 years ago.

IMAGE: Why was Women of Power launched?

CLARKE: We had never done a women’s brand, but we knew that when we put women on the cover, the magazine sold out. As increasing numbers of women came out of college and grad school and flooded into entrepreneurship and the corporate arena, that segment of our market was exploding, and they wanted more from us. We launched Women of Power to speak directly to women entrepreneurs and women in corporate America about how to advance their careers, and it took off like quickfire from the beginning, and we’re so very proud of that.

IMAGE: How do you define a woman of power?

CLARKE: I think, most importantly, a woman of power knows who she is. She’s very self-possessed and very authentic; she’s not trying to be anybody else. She understands what her gifts and talents are. She understands what she doesn’t know and how to get that information. A woman of power believes in herself, in other women, and the notion that there is enough for all of us. She’s not just out there doing it for herself; she’s also supporting and uplifting others.

Caroline Clarke interviewing Patti LaBelle and Yolanda Adams at the 2017 Black Enterprise Entrepreneurs Summit.

IMAGE: Tell me about the Women of Power Summit.

CLARKE: The Women of Power Summit is an extraordinary annual event. It will be held again March 7th thru 10th, 2018, at the Yacht Club in Disney World in Orlando, Florida. The Women of Power Summit was created to bring like-minded women of color together. It was created in response to the fact that women of color are very isolated–isolated in their company, in their industry–depending on the industry, and isolated geographically; they’ve moved for jobs, and it’s lonely. Isolation can diminish you and demoralize you; it can make you forget how great you are. The women who attend are largely from the corporate sector. They are given tools that they need to really vault in their careers–to reach the absolute pinnacle of their careers. It gives them a place to connect, commiserate, comfort one another, cheer for one another, share their stories, and get the feedback they need­from other women who have faced the same thing. They learn how to confront the FALL 2017 • IMAGEMAGAZINEONLINE.COM 21

issues and hurdles they are facing–how to get through what they are going through. They learn how to negotiate their next raise, how to deal with a boss who has never met a Black person before and doesn’t know what to do with them, how to deal with issues they are facing at home and so much more. The women address issues such as how to have a job that requires travel all over the world when they have children they are raising at home. It’s a full myriad of things that working women face as we really strive to not just be our best selves but create the best outcomes for the people we love–our children, parents, siblings, and our communities.

IMAGE: How can women be more supportive of one another and our ventures?

CLARKE: I think women have to be bolder in how willing we are to step into the gap for each other, and I think we have to be willing to partner with each other more. We have to be careful not to fall into the trap that a lot of men fall into by letting our egos get in the way of our ability to partner with each other, promote each other, mentor each other, sponsor each other, and invest in each other. There are a lot of women centric venture capitalists now, and I think those of us who have money and are able to be angel investors–able to be significant partners in helping launch ventures–need to be mindful of other women in that process. It’s proven that when you support women businesses, you support entire communities because it resonates in a way that is gender specific–women have children, women are taking care of the elderly, women are educators. When you support a woman in her enterprise, those ripples are going to impact the schools, nursing homes, and restaurants in her community. Her life is going to touch so many pulse points just by virtue of all she’s juggling in a day, so by supporting her, you ultimately support all of those entities.

IMAGE: What has been your experience interviewing influential women, and do you feel as though sometimes as women we don’t fully embrace our power?

CLARKE: Working for Black Enterprise, I meet women all the time who blow me away with their confidence, ambition, their willingness to take risks and confront fear; they just blow me away with their obvious power and their acceptance of it. But I think for people in general, self-doubt is a factor. It’s real, and it’s not a woman or a man thing. I think women are perhaps more willing to feel the doubt and may be more susceptible to its potential power over us because our ambitions–still in 2017–are not always validated or supported by society. And certainly, that’s true for Black women, but I think we have so many things working to counterbalance that. I believe most of us operate from a place of very solid faith– we are deeply spiritual, and we’ve been nurtured in a way that has supported and encouraged that. In my experience, the women in my life have been my absolute greatest support.

IMAGE: Who was a woman that supported and mentored you along the way?

CLARKE: I think anyone who had a great mom is always going to start with their mom. My mother was a school teacher, and she was the first in her family to go to college. She got married late for her time–she was 26. When she graduated from college, her father was so proud; none of his children had gone to college, and he hadn’t gone to college. He told her that he would 22 IMAGEMAGAZINEONLINE.COM • FALL 2017

buy her a car or a trip as a graduation gift. She had never been on a plane, so she chose the trip. She went to Europe by herself with a student visa in the late 1940’s, and spent 2 months traveling around Europe. That’s just so courageous. My mother was a great role model. I’m always amazed by people who have the courage to step out of everything they know and blow the walls off their comfort zone. I also had an amazing aunt–my mother’s only sister. She pursued everything she wanted to do. With examples like that, it’s hard to fail. I am who I am because of everything that was poured into me. They gave me everything they had; I don’t mean materially, but spiritually, academically, and intellectually so I would know what I needed to do to succeed.

IMAGE: I'm sure your daughter has benefited from what was poured into you.

CLARKE: Yes, she has. My daughter is 23, and she’s a graduate of George Washington University. She’s fantastic, brilliant, kind, generous, and she’s much bolder than I ever was at that age. But she’s also very anxious, and I think young people now are very anxious and for good reason; the world is a frightening place.

"Life is an evolutionary process; we don't know everything at the starting line."

IMAGE: A lot different than when we were growing up.

CLARKE: Very different than when we grew up. Our spirituality was more formalized than theirs is, so their foundation is a little shakier, and the pathways just aren’t as distinct. The pathways to success for us–regardless of the industry or career we picked– were pretty much mapped out; we didn’t have to figure out every step along the way. If a young person knows what field they want to go into, it’s a little easier for them. But when they aren’t sure, we don’t give them time and space to be unsure. Life is an evolutionary process; we don’t know everything at the starting line.

IMAGE: And it’s okay to change your mind.

CLARKE: It’s okay to change your mind a million times as long as you’re purposeful when you change because you have to be going somewhere. My son has decided to be a visual arts major, and he was worried about telling his father and me because we come from such a business centric family, but I had no issue with it because I know it’s his passion; it’s something that’s been in him since he was a tiny child. At a certain point, he started hiding what he wanted to do from us because he felt as a boy it wasn’t cool or acceptable and that our family wasn’t going to accept his career path. I told him that as long as he can self-support, be happy, and what he’s doing is legal, I’m for it. I’m good. I want our children to have dreams; I don’t think they’re taught to dream enough.

Technology–with all of its creativity and innovation–has sapped a lot of their imagination time away, and now they’re hooked on things that are prescribed as opposed to just letting their mind go wherever it goes and having the quiet space to do that. I think they need to dream and pursue their dreams.

IMAGE: You’re also an author.

CLARKE: Yes, I’ve written two books. One of them is old and out

Caroline Clarke and the late Natalie Cole at Post Cards from Cookie book signing. of print. It’s called Take a Lesson. It’s about how 27 very successful African Americans achieved success and what they faced along the way. The late great lawyer, Johnny Cochran is in the book, Spike Lee, Robin Roberts, Bryant Gumbel and others. It’s a broad array of African American’s telling their stories.

IMAGE: What about your most recent book?

CLARKE: About 3 years ago, I wrote a memoir called Postcards from Cookie. It’s a very personal story. I was adopted as an infant and raised by the most wonderful family. I was very blessed, and I felt I was where I was meant to be, so I didn’t ever plan to search for my birth family. I didn’t think it would be possible to find them even if I wanted to, but when my children were very small, I went to the agency where I was adopted because I was concerned about what I could be passing on genetically. You get worried when you’re adopted; you don’t know what’s in your genetic make-up or how many illnesses are genetically linked. I was in my mid-30’s and wanted to get medical information which I knew I was entitled to. The agency gave me a report with some medical information and a lot of social history. It didn’t include names or places, but they sort of painted a picture of my birth mother and what her family was like at the time I was born, and I recognized the family. I knew them; it turned out that my birth mother’s youngest sister was a friend of mine from college. My dear friend ended up being my aunt.

IMAGE: Did she have any prior knowledge of this?

CLARKE: She had some suspicions, but she never said anything to me because she knew that I wasn’t interested in finding my birth family. The book is a story of how all that transpired and the coming together of my family that raised me and my biological family. I share details of forging a relationship with my birth mother whose nickname was Cookie, so that’s why the title of the book is Postcards from Cookie. The kicker in the story is that my birth mother was Nat King Cole’s oldest daughter.

IMAGE: What was it like meeting your birth mother?

CLARKE: Our first meeting was on the phone. I lived in New York, and she lived in LA. We talked for hours; that first conversation just went on and on and on. It was just amazing. She was wonderful. Our meeting changed both of our lives. I think she felt vindicated because she had been so shamed by what she had done.

To have me come back and have had a great life and be a happy

whole person with grandchildren for her, filled her up in a space that had been emptied out. It felt great to be able to help her heal. She felt that God gave me back to her in a way.

IMAGE: Did you ever find out why she gave you up for adoption?

CLARKE: I was born in a time when single motherhood was scandalous and shameful, and she was forced to give me up. Her parents were worried about her father’s reputation and his career; if it was known that she had become pregnant out of wedlock, it would have completely derailed his career since he was an international superstar. She was sent away to give birth, give me up for adoption, return home, and never talk about it. That’s what she did, and it traumatized her.

IMAGE: What was your life like growing up?

CLARKE: Being adopted was the greatest thing that ever happened to me. I grew up in a great family, and I love them so much.

My mother couldn’t bear children, so the only way they could have a child was through adoption. When I was growing up, the house was always full of music. My father loved Nat King Cole, and I loved his music even though he wasn’t from my generation.

As a lyricist he was so beautiful, and I loved those sweeping orchestra arrangements behind him. I loved Natalie Cole, too. By the time I found out who my birth family was, I had already met Natalie Cole since she was my friend’s sister. Even though I had met a lot of the family, I had not met my birth mother.

IMAGE: Why did you decide to write the book?

CLARKE: I wrote the book because adoption now is so different than it was in my era. The chance of reunion is far greater now; reunions happen all the time. Parents find children, children find parents, and the meetings often don’t go well. It’s a very complicated thing; sometimes they start out well, and then everything falls apart. Other times, they don’t even get started. I wanted to write about my story because the reunion was so positive. My parents who raised me could have felt threatened, jealous, hurt, and angry, but they were so loving. I was an only child growing up, but my birth mother had two sons, so now I have two brothers.

They could have been hurt and jealous, but they were very supportive and open to forging a relationship with me and my family.

Everybody just rose to the occasion. It wasn’t an easy thing to do; it was complex. It had a lot of layers, but everybody tried, and we’re still trying because family is family, and it’s always crazy.

You’ve got to commit, and whatever comes up, you’ve just got to push through it.

IMAGE: What's your life’s motto?

CLARKE: To thine own self be true.

It's on a sign above the door in my office. From the moment we take our first breath almost, there is pressure to conform to this, that, and the other. You have to be careful that your choices are consistent with your values–not just who you are in the moment, but who you want to be, what you want to become, the impact you want to make, and the lives you want to change. Am I who I want to be? Am I being consistent with my values? Your humanity starts with who you are.

Postcards from Cookie can be purchased at Amazon.com.

FALL 2017 • IMAGEMAGAZINEONLINE.COM 23

EVENT COVERAGE

BLACK ENTERPRISE ENTREPRENEURS SUMMIT 2017

BLACK ENTERPRISE HELD THIS YEAR’S ENTREPRENEURS SUMMIT AT THE MARRIOTT MARQUIS IN HOUSTON, TEXAS. WE CAUGHT UP WITH COURTNEY JOHNSON ROSE, CHAIR OF THE GREATER HOUSTON BLACK CHAMBER OF COMMERCE BOARD, TO ASK HER THOUGHTS ABOUT WHY HOUSTON WAS THE OPTIMAL CITY TO HOST THIS PREMIER EVENT.

IMAGE: What was significant about the Black Enterprise Entrepreneurs Summit being held in Houston this year?

JOHNSON-ROSE: One factor that made it significant was that Earl Graves, Sr., founder of Black Enterprise Magazine, named Houston the Black Business Mecca. Houston has such a thriving Black business community. It was a great setting for the Entrepreneurs Summit.

IMAGE: What makes Houston a city for entrepreneurial success?

JOHNSON-ROSE: Our culture in Houston is supportive of businesses and creativity. It’s the perfect place for entrepreneurs to connect and build relationships.

IMAGE: In what ways do you believe the entrepreneurs who attended the summit benefited from the sessions that were held?

JOHNSON-ROSE: The sessions were informative and inspirational. We were able to learn valuable tools and about resources we can use in our businesses. We also enjoyed the Buy Black Pavilion with several Black owned businesses showcasing their goods and services.

IMAGE: How did you personally benefit from attending the summit?

JOHNSON-ROSE: I enjoyed networking the most–connecting with professionals from across the country was fun, informative, and hopefully will be fruitful.

IMAGE: What do you think being in Houston for the summit was like for entrepreneurs who reside in other parts of the country?

24 IMAGEMAGAZINEONLINE.COM • FALL 2017

JOHNSON-ROSE: I think they had a great experience in Houston. Organizations like the Greater Houston Black Chamber (GHBC) welcomed them. Our community embraced them, and there were a lot of first time attendees that may now travel to future conferences.

IMAGE: How does becoming a member of the GHBC benefit Black business owners?

JOHNSON-ROSE: There are several benefits to joining.

Our network of professionals will expose their business to our network of procurement managers from corporations and governmental entities. We are the go to organization in Houston to find qualified Black owned firms. Our chamber strives to provide access, awareness, and to advocate on behalf of Black businesses.

IMAGE: Houston is such a large metropolis. Are there any plans to expand GHBC to surrounding areas?

JOHNSON-ROSE: Yes.The Chamber recently began providing services in the Missouri City area, and we launched the Missouri City Branch of the GHBC. We will continue to branch out around the city.

For more information about the Greater Houston Black Chamber of Commerce, visit ghbcc.com or call 713.660.8299.

Award-winning multimedia journalist and Digital Editor at Black Enterprise Magazine, Selena Hill, talks with IMAGE at the BE Entrepreneurs Summit.

"If you look at the

prominent digital platforms like Facebook and Snapchat, they were created by millennials.

I think millennials are inventing and cultivating this wave; we are driving it and pushing trends."

IMAGE: What is your educational background?

HILL: I graduated with a BA in Media Communications from SUNY (State University of New York) Westbury which is one of the state universities of New York.

IMAGE: What are your responsibilities as Digital Editor?

HILL: At Black Enterprise, I do a lot of writing. I contribute stories to the website; I also edit stories. I help with the contributor network and do correspondent work. I also cover different events outside of work and use that as material to create stories or help with social media and things like that.

IMAGE: Most millennials get their information from social media. How are you engaging this technology- driven generation?

HILL: As we know, digital is definitely the wave of the industry. A lot of traditional outlets–whether it be broadcast, television, or newspapers–are moving into that digital space, so I’m trying to help cultivate our brand in that way and expose it to more millennials by putting a lot of content on digital and making sure that the content on our website is strategic–it fits with the brand, and it’s also targeting a certain audience.

IMAGE: Is Black Enterprise targeting millennials?

HILL: Yes, we are definitely targeting millennials. Black Enterprise is such a legacy brand. When it was first founded, it was a pioneer in what it did for Black businesses. My parents

cherish Black Enterprise, and we want to translate that same feeling into the millennial space and let millennials know that we offer great advice and tips when it comes to building a business and building your personal brand and just getting relevant exposure. What Black Enterprise is trying to do is let millennials know that we are here for them the same way that we were for their parents.

IMAGE: What do millennials have to their advantage that generations before them did not?

HILL: Technology. Technology is so fascinating, and it’s something I grew up on. My grandmother used to really value writing things down. I personally don’t carry around a pen and paper all the time, but I always have my phone because smart phones can do so much; you can watch your favorite sitcom on your smartphone, you can write an essay on your smartphone–it encompasses so much, and it’s so practical.

Everything I need is on that phone, and that’s the way of the future. It’s a wave that’s here, and if you are not riding that wave, you are going to be swept behind.

IMAGE: In what ways are millennials influencing digital platforms?

HILL: If you look at the prominent digital platforms like Facebook and Snapchat, they were created by millennials. I think millennials are inventing and cultivating this wave; we are driving (continued on page 36) FALL 2017 • IMAGEMAGAZINEONLINE.COM 25

PASTOR KIRBYJON CALDWELL A Man Who Knows What It Takes To Win PHOTOGRAPHY BY STEVE JONES 26 IMAGEMAGAZINEONLINE.COM • FALL 2017

WHAT IT TAKES EVENT COVERAGE

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"Black Enterprise was more than a magazine; it was an expression that said to a young guy like me from Fifth Ward that Black folk can do something big and bad and bold."

W

hen Pastor Kirbyjon Caldwell took the stage at the Black Enterprise Entrepreneurs Summit held in Houston, Texas, his first words were a testimony to the impact both the founder, Earl G. Graves Sr., and the magazine had made in his life. “For me,” he told four Black Enterprise leaders he assembled on stage, including the two sons of Earl Graves, “Black Enterprise was more than a magazine; it was an expression that said to a young guy like me from Fifth Ward (Houston, Texas) that Black folk can do something big and bad and bold. For me, as a young student at a liberal arts college in “nowhere” Minnesota, it was telling the school to go get Black Enterprise and put it in their library. For me, Black Enterprise was and still is an iconic expression of the best that not just Black America, but America has to offer.”

Caldwell went on to deliver a powerful and inspirational speech entitled “What it Takes to Win.” It is a subject this senior pastor of the 17,000-member Windsor Vil-

By TERRY BAUGH BESSARD

lage Church Family and successful social entrepreneur knows something about.

Ever since Caldwell, a Wharton MBA graduate, left what was on track to be a lucrative career as a Wall Street broker to eventually serve as senior pastor to a 25-member flock in 1982, his reach has greatly exceeded the conventions of United Methodism and the traditions of church ministry.

“When I arrived at the church and looked through the front door, I saw a pulpit, a microphone and an organ,” Caldwell said.

“As far as I was concerned, that was all we needed.” The church also needed direction, which he defined in a three-point mission: the church would have a strong education ministry beyond Sundays, a winsome worship service, and outreach to children and youth.

A social entrepreneur by self-description and action, Caldwell has spent the last three decades leading the expansion of that mission into a grand realized vision that addresses the needs of people of all ages inside and outside the church. After transforming several of the church’s many

ministries into independently operated nonprofits, Caldwell and the Windsor Village Church Family set out on a community development journey undergirded by prayer.

The result has been a radical change in the economic and social landscape of the historically underserved area in which the church resides. Two history-making projects have brought spiritual, economic, educational and social vitality, and empowerment to Central Southwest Houston. The Power Center and Pointe 2.3.4., collectively provide 530.6 full-time equivalent jobs and make an annual $65.5 million cash flow impact on the community.

A former abandoned and dilapidated Kmart facility, The Power Center is a 21st-century service delivery model of private and public partnership. This multi-use facility, which sits on 24 acres of land, serves 11,000 families a month and adds $15.5 million a year to the economy. Housed onsite with The Power Center are a variety of for-profit and non-profit entities including executive office suites, a private Christian FALL 2017 • IMAGEMAGAZINEONLINE.COM 27

school, J. P. Morgan Chase, entrepreneurial suites and the Jesse H. Jones Conference Center, which generated $680,000 in event sales last year.

Pointe 2.3.4. is a 234-acre mini-masterplanned community that created 2,000 construction jobs and produces $1.7 million in new property taxes each year.

Upon completion, the community has an estimated construction value of $173 million. Pointe 2.3.4. encompasses a commercial park that generates $1.7 million in commercial sales on an annual basis and is made up of national and local businesses such as CVS Pharmacy and Walgreen’s.

A residential subdivision called Corinthian Pointe provides 462 quality affordably priced homes, many of which belong to first-time home buyers. Residents in the subdivision spend a combined $16.5 million annually. A YMCA, HISD elementary and senior high charter schools, Texas Children’s Pediatrics Center, an independent senior living facility, and the Kingdom Builders’ Center (The KBC) complete the current phase of Pointe 2.3.4. The KBC, a 183,000-square-foot community center, houses the Windsor Village Church Family temporary sanctuary and administrative offices, credit union, early childhood development program and an entrepreneurs’ learning center. Plans for phase two of Pointe 2.3.4. incorporate a prayer center and a permanent sanctuary.

It is clear that Caldwell knows how to win, and he is happy to share it with others. He authored the book The Gospel of Good Success: A Road Map to Spiritual, Emotional and Financial Wholeness and co-authored Entrepreneurial Faith: Launching Bold Initiatives to Expand God’s Kingdom with Walt Kallestad. He served as spiritual advisor to Presidents George W. Bush and Barack Obama. His leadership has attracted an abundance of media interest, honors and awards. He recently received the U.S. Small Business Administration’s Minority Small Business Champion Award in May during National Small Business Week. He is most proud of being husband to Suzette Caldwell, an associate pastor and president and chair of The Prayer Institute— founded by Caldwell in 1995, and father to their three children.

WHAT IT TAKES TO WIN To the Black Enterprise Enterpreneurs Summit audience, Caldwell illustrated what it takes to win using each word of the con28 IMAGEMAGAZINEONLINE.COM • FALL 2017

ference title as a key point. He encouraged the audience to be all that they can be as entrepreneurs in four ways. An overview of his remarks are as follows: Black. In the middle of the Black power movement and two years after two Black medalists raised their fists at the 1968 Summer Olympics, Earl Graves had the nerve and courage to name his magazine Black Enterprise. It was a cutting-edge and revolutionary act. He named the magazine something that would stand the test of time, and it has. In this age of corporate complexities and toxicities, there are three things you must focus on to be properly calibrated so that you stay grounded and endure any storm: 1. Your spirituality – Have the utmost confidence in God. 2. Your emotionality – Be centered in yourself.

3. Your ethnicity – Be comfortable in your own skin. The very first people created on this planet were Black. Celebrate and accent your Blackness.

Enterprise. Genesis 2:15 tells us the Lord placed Adam in the Garden of Eden to tend and keep it; it was the first example of enterprise. Till the ground (your project or endeavor) and watch it, add value, monetize that asset, take capital and convert it into cash flow, and make a difference.

Let somebody know you have been here.

After you add value, you must guard it. Expect some haters. While some of you may or may not work for a great enterprise and perhaps your business has yet to become great, you are a great enterprise. When you look back over your life and see what you have come through, you have to say, “Yes, I am an enterprise!” Applaud and appreciate yourself. Say, “Enterprise, today we are going to make it happen, and if nobody else thinks you can, I think you can!”

Entrepreneurs. What you say about yourself has more influence on you than what you hear others say about you. My dad sold clothes. To me, he was a model entrepreneur. People broke into his shop with great regularity; his store was broken into so many times that his insurance was canceled. At no point did I ever hear my dad complain. He restocked the store and kept on going. Nobody could ever accuse him of giving up. Don’t allow yourself to worry.

God’s greatness is within you. All twelve of the disciples that Jesus chose were en-

Pastor Kirbyjon Caldwell (right) with son, Turner Caldwell, at the Black Enterprise Entrepreneurs Summit trepreneurs. Consider building a bridge between your entrepreneurial endeavor and your spirituality. God placed that desire in you, and He wants you to succeed based on biblical values.

Summit. This word can either mean apex or top of your game, or it can infer a gathering or meeting place where folk dialogue.

The second meaning can sometimes get us in trouble. You can meet and dialogue with the wrong people. Without a vision, people perish. The wrong people can make you, and the vision perish. The folk you choose to be around your life says more about you than what you verbally communicate about yourself. God can bless you so that your enemies become your elevator, but there’s no need to choose them. "Surround yourself with the right people in your professional and personal lives. Succeed in spite of some of the folk you have had in your life.”

As Caldwell ended his speech, he offered this blessing: “May your reach always exceed your grasp.”

For more information about Pastor Kirbyjon Caldwell, visit: Kingdombuilders.com.

Follow Pastor Caldwell on Facebook and Twitter@PastorKirbyjon

"The wrong people can make you and the vision perish."

Mathew Knowles

EVENT COVERAGE

has proven that he knows how to achieve success. In his book, The DNA of Achievers, Knowles reveals the traits he believes are most valuable while in pursuit of your goals. This detailed work reveals how passion and determination can bring about desired results.

While promoting The DNA of Achievers at the BE Entrepreneurs Summit, Knowles spoke with IMAGE about the inspiration behind the release of his informative best seller.

IMAGE: Why did you decide to write The DNA of Achievers?

KNOWLES: Well, as an educator–I’ve been at Texas Southern University now for 10 years–one of my tasks is to write papers and books. I travel extensively. Whenever I am sitting in first class next to someone who owns a company or has a high level position with a corporation, I notice a pattern when I talk to them–they all possess certain traits, and I see those same traits in myself and my friends who are highly successful. I added a couple in the book, but that's what inspired me.

IMAGE: What main trait do you feel led to your success?

KNOWLES: The main trait is passion because when you live your passion, you never work a day in your life. And your passion coexists with another trait which is work ethic. You don't usually find someone who is highly passionate about something and they don't have incredible work ethics. And vice versa, you can't find someone with incredible work ethics that's not highly passionate.

IMAGE: What do you want people to know after reading the book?

KNOWLES: I want them to have hope; whatever their dreams are, whatever their passion is, I want them to have hope in themselves.

IMAGE: What did you instill in your daughters about entrepreneurship?

KNOWLES: If they had wanted to be doctors, I would have told them to go to med school, and I would have bought a hospital.

That’s how I think.

IMAGE: How can the book be purchased?

KNOWLES: The book can be purchased at dnaofacheivers.com. I will sign it, and ship it.

Taylore Gills and Mathew Knowles FALL 2017 • IMAGEMAGAZINEONLINE.COM 29

S

EVENT COVERAGE

2017 BLACK ENTERPRISE ENTREPRENEURS SUMMIT MARRIOTT MARQUIS HOUSTON, TEXAS

napshots

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Rejoice POETRY

SUBSCRIBE TODAY! Visit Us Online At:

Rejoice woman and celebrate Celebrate the obstacles you’ve overcome.

Rejoice woman and celebrate Celebrate the victories you’ve won.

www.imagemagazineonline.com www.faithmagazineonline.com

Rejoice in your womanhood Celebrate the Spirit that dwells within.

Rejoice and celebrate The strength and patience you Embraced when it felt like the world was Against you and the storms would never end.

Take a moment to reminisce, Reflect on where you’ve been.

Remember the courage you had to Endure when you wanted to give in.

Rejoice woman and celebrate In mind, body, spirit, and soul.

Celebrate strength and wisdom, The truth you did unfold— That a strong woman Will still stand When she’s done all she can.

She’ll stand on the promises of the Alpha, the Omega Man. Rejoice woman and celebrate Always demand respect.

And if ever you begin to deny The Power, Take a moment to reflect.

Rejoice Woman and Celebrate.

Again, I say, Rejoice!

DHJ FALL 2017 • IMAGEMAGAZINEONLINE.COM 31

Derrick and Tomara Thompson Cabo San Lucas, Mexico June 17, 2017

CONGRATULATIONS, Derrick and Tomara

Appropriately themed "A Tribute to Forever", the elegant destination wedding of Derrick Thompson and the former Tomara Johnson will be etched forever in the memories of all who attended the blissful ceremony. Facing the Pacific Ocean, the bride and groom exchanged vows and committed to a lifetime of love in the presence of guests and family members who traveled to Cabo San Lucas, Mexico to celebrate with the newlyweds. Derrick is a Sports Performance Trainer and the CEO of Xcelfitness-Houston.

Tomara is a Senior Audit Manager with KPMG, LLP. The couple resides in Fresno, Texas.

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To have and t o hold

from t his day forward

FALL 2017 • IMAGEMAGAZINEONLINE.COM 33

GITE GALLERY ENTREPRENEUR SPOTLIGHT

THE

LLOYD GITE OWNER, THE GITE GALLERY HOUSTON, TEXAS

good eye to be able to pick out quality things, so I brought back a lot of paintings. I brought back artifacts and fabrics for myself and for some of my friends as gifts; they liked them so much. I went again, and I brought more stuff back, and people wanted to buy the items from me; people were buying so much that it began to pay for my trips. So over the years when I was in television, maybe once or twice a year I’d go to different parts of Africa, bring back art and sell it. I would sell it out of my house when I was still in television. When I got ready to make that transition, I left my job on a Sunday and got on an airplane that day headed to Africa and never turned back. So that’s kind of how it started.

IMAGE: How do you think African art touches the heart of people?

GITE: Well, when we say African art, it’s a misnomer because when you say African art to Americans they think of masks, statues, and fabrics. They don’t think of what I call fine art by African artists−original paintings by African artists. I’ve brought those original paintings by African artists to America to sell, so I’m introducing people to a different form of African art. The top sellers are the paintings. Those are so rich with color, and they really resonate with people. I also do custom framing, and that adds even more value and more attractiveness to the pieces.

IMAGE: Where are you originally from?

GITE: Actually, I’m a native Houstonian. I was gone for 15 years and came back to Houston in 1983 for a job.

IMAGE: Where did you attend high school?

GITE: I finished from Jack Yates High School. I got an undergraduate degree from North Texas State University and a master’s degree from the University of Michigan in Ann Arbor in Radio/ Television/Film.

IMAGE: When did you decide to become an entrepreneur?

GITE: Well, I didn’t really decide. I transitioned from my job; I got fired which is not unusual for television people. I knew then that I was going to do what I’m doing now. Let’s back track. I have always been fascinated with Africa, even as a child. My first trip to Africa was in 1976, and I fell in love with the culture. God has given me a 34 IMAGEMAGAZINEONLINE.COM • FALL 2017

IMAGE: You also sell Cuban art. Is that right?

GITE: In the past year, I’ve gone to Cuba twice. We now have a line of Afro-Cuban and Cuban art.

IMAGE: What do you find special about African art?

GITE: Color. It’s just like African American art. African American artists are really big on color, and so are African artists. Psychologically, color has an effect on us. For me, it brings cheer into my space. I feel very comfortable being surrounded by art that looks like me and art that’s from where I’m originally from. I think it’s important for people who are of African descent to see images of themselves or their ancestors in their homes. It just adds so much more when you see beauty around you.

IMAGE: What is your greatest satisfaction when someone purchases a piece of art?

GITE: Transforming somebody’s house; that's the greatest satisfaction for me. We might have a client who buys twenty pieces.

They’ll come in and say they need their house redone and that it needs to be modernized and they need new art. To completely redo a home to satisfy the client is satisfying to me. When I see them happy with their piece or pieces, that’s all I need.

IMAGE: You’re very well-traveled.

GITE: Oh, yes! I’ve gone through at least six passports if not more.

I’ve made 30 plus trips to Africa; I've stopped counting. I’ve been pretty much everywhere I want to go with the exception of a couple of African countries which are not as stable; once those become stable, I might visit those.

IMAGE: Do you have a favorite place to get art from?

GITE: Well, in Africa, because the art is so different from country to country, the only place I do not buy art from is North Africa; it has lots of European flavors, Islamic and Muslim flavors. I prefer Black African art from South Africa, West Africa, and East Africa.

One of my favorite places is West Africa. They have incredible art in Ghana, Nigeria, Senegal, and Cameroon, but I also like art out of South Africa— Capetown and Johannesburg.

host non-profit events; we don’t charge the non-profits to do things here.

IMAGE: What is one thing that you believe in wholeheartedly?

GITE: I really believe in helping African American entrepreneurs.

So many of us don’t understand the need to give back, and that bothers me a whole lot because we would never be anywhere without the help of other people. And so, I try to help people the best way I can.

For more information about The Gite Gallery visit thegitegallery. com. You can also like The Gite Gallery on Facebook.

IMAGE: What are your thoughts on replicas of African art and artifacts that are made in China?

GITE: The Chinese are people who take a product and reproduce it, and that is happening worldwide. One of their main targets has been Africa because there’s so much need for money. They have taken African art and African fabrics to China, recreated those fabrics at a much cheaper cost, and flooded the market with those items. You can buy African cloth in Africa that was made in China.

IMAGE: How can we be intentional about making sure that what we purchase was actually made in Africa?

GITE: I don't think most African Americans care, and that’s the problem because if they did care then they wouldn’t go to TJ Maxx and Ross and Home Goods and buy African art that they know is made in China—to me that defeats the whole purpose.

IMAGE: How have the aesthetics of African art influenced artistic expression globally?

GITE: There are some very successful white artists who don’t do anything but paint black images. Picasso took his style from Africa—that whole Cubism movement. If you look him up, you will see that he admitted where his images came from. Picasso had African artifacts in his studio. He was very proud of what he did. He wasn’t the only one whose style came from Africa, but we don’t do our due diligence. Many prominent white artists have used African art as inspiration for their works.

IMAGE: Do you have a favorite artist?

GITE: I have several artists whose work I love. I really love Rahmon Olugunna's art who is from Nigeria; he's one of my favorites.

Kofi Agorsor is also one of my favorites; he’s one of our top sellers.

IMAGE: Events are held here as well, right?

GITE: Yes, we do a lot of events here; the gallery is for lease.

We’ve had weddings here and other social events. Every first Friday of the month we have a networking reception where we invite people who have never been to the gallery before; we have champagne and light bites. People walk around and network. If they want to buy art, they do; if they don’t, that’s fine. We also FALL 2017 • IMAGEMAGAZINEONLINE.COM 35

(continued from page 11) to deviations from God’s best. My strength was renewed, and with the encouragement of a couple of great pastors, a church full of friends, and my mother leading the way, I completed a Masters in School Psychology in the summer of 2015.

What happened for me was not magic, but method. Even though many of my experiences were as an adult, and Curtis endured a significant loss before the first grade, the effects were the same— negative. The lack of relational needs such as those listed below can have a negative impact on student performance.

• Security: Feeling physically and emotionally safe in a relationship. Feeling safe in my environment.

• Consistency: Having life in order, responding with self-control and knowing what to expect from the behavior of others.

• Belonging: Feeling part of a group and knowing I am accepted even when my behavior is less than perfect.

• Value: Someone taking an interest in what I am doing. Someone appreciates the person that I am.

• Comfort: When hurting, having someone express genuine care and concern and acknowledging what I am feeling with words or appropriate touch.

• Recognition: Words of thanks and acknowledgement. Having someone regard me highly for what I accomplish and being respected by others. Feeling honored in the relationship.

• Affection: Having someone show appropriate non-sexual physical touch, someone saying, “I love you”. Showing they care about me.

• Encouragement: Someone acknowledging my attempts to reach new goals or to do the right thing.

• Support: Having someone gently help me with a problem or struggle, giving me appropriate assistance.

I cannot speak for Curtis, but I was struggling in almost every area listed, and it took a small army of people to help right my ship again. And for these people, I am truly grateful.

As a school psychologist, I’ve seen students struggle and succeed, and I've seen them struggle and fail. I’ve noticed how deficits in relational needs sometimes play out in these stories 36 IMAGEMAGAZINEONLINE.COM • FALL 2017

and how a child can be restored by providing support in the deficient area(s).

To address deficiencies, children often readjust automatically to survive, and sometimes, their readjustment ultimately has a negative result. For example, children in search of belonging might gravitate toward gangs. They might resort to stealing if they feel provision is low, or they might get involved in questionable relationships if their self-value is low. To help increase relational need deposits in children, parents can: 1. Foster encouragement. The overall purpose of encouragement is to give every child a sense of self-respect and a sense of accomplishment–not to bring them down or give them a false sense of privilege. Encouragement involves patience, active listening, and compassion in working with children (Green, 2009).

2. Stress improvement. Most important in using encouragement techniques is distinguishing between the student and his or her behavior (or the doer and the deed). It is important for parents and teachers to remember that improvement, not perfection, is the desired goal of changing human behavior (Dreikurs & Soltz, 1992).

3. Avoid pampering and controlling.

It is very important in this process to avoid humiliation and/or overprotection. Because home influences correlate with academic achievement, it is important for parents and/or guardians and school staff members to use these skills as well (VanVelsor, 2009). Both over and under controlling parents can lead to lower academic performance.

With the use of simple techniques as those mentioned above, parents and teachers can improve the self-esteem of the children they have influence over and help them attain what was previously thought to be unattainable.

Carol Clayborne is a Licensed Specialist in School Psychology in Houston, Texas. She is a former elementary school teacher with 10 years of experience.

(continued from page 25) it and pushing trends. We have capital to spend, and people are paying attention to that. I believe millennials are more entrepreneurial because we see the world differently.

IMAGE: How so?

HILL: The generation before did not have exposure to how other people were living their lives. Because we have social media, I see how my friend that I graduated from elementary with is living their life in Australia. There are so many opportunities that have been exposed to me, whereas, the only thing my mother knew and saw was her community. Women got married and had kids around 24 and 25. Me, I see how everybody else is living. I see that Janet Jackson had a baby at 49, and Halle Berry had a baby at 49, too. So, I’m seeing that now millennials, especially women, are putting career and opportunity first and realizing that there is so much more that we can see. That exposure has given me options. Because I’ve seen that there are other ways–other opportunities outside of my immediate community–I want that. I think a lot of millennial women are waiting longer; I definitely think that’s the trend among millennial women–to wait until their 30’s to start a family.

IMAGE: How does the BE Entrepreneurs Summit benefit millennials?

HILL: BE has been hosting this Summit for 22 years. We are celebrating innovation and the business elite, but we also empower small businesses with the tools, knowledge, and resources they need to take their business to the next level. Any entrepreneur can come here to learn and gain something from it. Millennials need to attend a BE Entrepreneurs Summit because we’re still learning and figuring things out, and there are so many people with decades of experience to connect and partner with. The BE Entrepreneurs Summit is a great resource.

Follow Selena Hill on Instagram and Twitter @MsSelenaHill

FALL 2017 • IMAGEMAGAZINEONLINE.COM 37

#PULLthatTRIGGER!

"

The truth of the matter is that many individuals in committed relationships are not emotionally stimulated or fulfilled.

"

bursts like, “I knew it the whole time...why am I so stupid?!!!”

3. Maladaptive Relational Patterns. These patterns are the result of the subconscious propensity to repeat the same relational patterns year after year due to a lack of psychological insight, self-criticism regarding past and present relationship failures, or the fear of perceived social judgement from others. It’s the same ol’, same ol’ but with different people.

DR. CHANEL YOUNG-POPE

H

ow many people do you know−both male and female−who absolutely refuse to pull the trigger on their dead-end relationship? I’m sure that in a matter of seconds you vividly identified at least one person without intense thought. The truth of the matter is that many individuals in committed relationships are not emotionally stimulated or fulfilled. In most cases, partners complain of emotional distancing and alienation, physical or psychological abuse, a lack of sexual gratification, and repeated accounts of infidelity for many many years. Yet, they remain and endure the harsh psychological impact. With that being said, there are five primary factors that can negatively influence your attempt to terminate unfulfilling or unhealthy relationships: 1. Ignoring Your Internal PA System (the intuitive voice).

The PA system or Public Address system was historically needed for an orator to be loud enough to address the public. In this case, your emotional PA system is needed to intuitively lead you towards truth and authenticity. Unfortunately, in unfulfilling or maladaptive relationships, your PA system is muted significantly or has totally malfunctioned.

2. Failure to Honor Your Intuitive Voice. It is the incessant need to delay critical relationship decisions or termination of a partnership until you find tangible proof to confirm or validate “a hunch” despite having intuitively sensed the indiscretion prior to actually finding validation; it is a blatant refusal to trust your gut instinct. This process usually results in “knee-jerk” reactions of self-blame and guilt and is typically followed by out38 IMAGEMAGAZINEONLINE.COM • FALL 2017

4. Utilizing the Negative Aspects of Convenience and Complacency. This is the refusal to release or terminate an unproductive relationship due to an unrealistic perception of commitment based on longevity or an unconscious fear of abandonment. This factor can also include fear of the unknown (afraid that new relationships will not blossom or last); ultimately, there is fear of being alone. It sounds like this: “But I’ve invested so much time in this relationship.”

5. Avoiding the Termination Process. This is the use of avoidance as a coping strategy to deflect or deter emotional pain. It can also include the deeply rooted inability to access the internal fortitude necessary to forge ahead and complete the termination process−to pull the proverbial relationship trigger.

Why do both men and woman have so much difficulty pulling the relationship trigger? To this rhetorical question, I say, we must first find the internal courage to pull the trigger of the emotional 9-millimeter and release the dead weight of unfulfillment.

Secondly, we must then follow the emotional stench and identify the patterns or root causes that have resulted in psychological rigor mortis. Thirdly, we must transport this emotional corpse to the morgue of relationships past and be willing to allow the process of grief and loss to heal us from the inside out. Lastly, we must bury and extinguish this life-sucking emotional parasite of unfulfillment once and for all. Just know, the claims we file with our emotional insurance policies will yield both physical, psychological, and spiritual dividends that will annuitize our relational lives for years to come. #PULLthatTRIGGER! Chanel Young-Pope, Psy.D. is a former United States Army Behavioral Health Doctor who specialized in Clinical Psychology. She is also the Founder and CEO of Sapiente Wellness.

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