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Alicia Clearwater
The World’s Largest
BIKINI PARADE Clearwater, FL Saturday, June 19th
Who: Women in Bikinis When: Saturday, June 19th Where: Quaker Steak & Lube 10400 49th Street North, Clearwater Time: 4pm - Participant Check-in 6pm - Parade Starts 7pm - Raffle and Prizes 7:30pm - Bikini Contest
$1,000 Grand Prize Bikini Contest You must wear a bikini to participate. A bikini is considered a two-piece swimsuit. Be prepared to walk one mile. High heels, flip flops or tennis shoes are OK. You may want to bring a towel, sunscreen, and anything else you might need. Water will be provided to all participants. The current world record was set on November 2009 in South Africa. The current record is 287 women.
PRESENTS
The World’s Largest
BIKINI PARADE Quaker Steak & Lube Clearwater, FL Saturday, June 19th
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IMAGES ELITE MAGAZINE Your Weekly Men’s Mag...FREE!
CONTENT
WEEKLY: Thursday, May 6, 2010
Jessica
Clearwater
Get Ready To See A Lot More
Jessica
EVERY WEEK!
Unusual Deaths PHOTOGRAPHERS:
KG Toops
BAD DAY TAMPA BAY |
Erica Segarra
|
Rick C.
ALICIA
Clearwater
Gotta Have IT! Paintball Tank
GO BIG or GO HOME
Take a look at the ultimate way to play paintball. Forget running around and ducking behind things. Try out this ultimate paintball tank that not only is self propelled, but has the ability to launch multiple paintballs at one time. Let’s just say... you gotta have it!
ASK CHUCK Dear Chuck, I am not one that normally gets involved in lawsuits, but I feel as though I may have a good case against my neighbor. How do you feel about lawsuits? Charles Charles, You want to sue your neighbor? Why not handle the situation like a man and deal with your neighbor face to face? Either way...do what you need to do. I am currently in the middle of suing NBC right now for there TV Show Law & Order. You see, Law & Order are trademark names for my left & right legs. CHUCK
SECOND AMENDMENT
PUMP IT! I know we all have heard it and seen it in the movies! That distinctive sound... A pump action shotgun when you run the slide back and then forward jacking a round into the chamber. It will give pause to anyone who hears it and is in a place they shouldn’t be. When it comes to protecting the family at the old home front, nothing beats a pump action 12 gauge shot gun. Load it up with buck shot and you have a very lethal combination. Take into consideration that most fatal gun confrontations occur within 7 yards, so why not fire once and have nine .32 caliber pellets going at your intended target rather than one pistol round. A life or death situation involving your family members is going to have you under enormous stress. Your vision narrows down to what we call tunnel vision, your heart is racing, your hands start to shake from the adrenaline running through your system and it is usually a very low light encounter. Add that up and try picking up a handgun, charging it, and effectively hitting what you are pointing at. Impossible, no, but it takes a lot of practice and being proficient with your handgun. Compare that to picking up the shot gun, jacking a round into the chamber and pointing it at the imminent threat. Your odds are much higher of hitting your target with the shotgun then with your pistol. Plus the sound that slide makes when being cycled will probably cause your threat to run off leaving you a pile of DNA on the floor for later prosecution. If your concerned about the recoil or the petite size of your wife or girlfriend, those obstacles can be overcome. Just like when you purchase your handgun, fit and comfort is what you want. Stocks can be purchased that allow for multiple immediate adjustments for each individual user as well
-Continued as a ported or compensated barrel to reduce the recoil. The barrel lengths range from 18 inches to 30 inches. Anything less than 18 inches requires special licenses and permits. Rounds range from light 2 ¾ inch loads all the way up to 3 ½ inch magnum loads. Each load has various different size and weight projectiles to choose from. There are weighted recoil reducers that can be placed inside the stocks to make them more comfortable to shoot. Just remember if you miss what you shoot at, there will be a lot of spackling and painting going on. The real advantage of a shotgun is the point and shoot ability. There is no need to level off the gun and pick up a good sight picture, just point the barrel at center mass and pull the trigger. It’s going to do the job. The shotgun has been a part of everyday society since the invention of gunpowder. They were utilized for defense by the Chinese, pirates, settlers of the new world, cowboys settling and taming the west, and soldiers during every war on record. They have been a part of law enforcement’s arsenal since the first territory marshals and sheriffs. Shotguns are by far one of the most utilized and practical defense weapons available. With all of the technological advances made each year in ammunitions and the basic principles of operation, the shotgun will continue to be a firearm of choice by sportsmen, law enforcement, military and even the family protector for many years to come. And face it, they’re cool. As with any firearm kept in the home, please use common sense and secure them properly. Be sure that every person who has control or contact with your firearms is trained a proficient with them. Accidental shootings happen way to often and can easily be prevented with proper care. Be safe, live free. RCD
The Losers
Let’s keep this short, sweet and to the point. After watching last month’s train wreck of a movie, I was relieved to find this one was actually good. Based on the DC comic series by the same name and written by Peter Berg and James Vanderbilt, it had nonstop action, killer lines and a kick ass chick with a gun. Who could ask for more? Although not great or a classic, it was damn entertaining to watch. Go see the movie, sit back and enjoy the ride. - MIKESo, they may not be the A-Team but The Losers definitely deserve an A for effort. This film was packed with special effects some of which leave you thinking, “Yeah, ok, no way in hell!” but then again the film is based on a comic book so it makes it all worth while. Bad guy Max (Jason Patric) plays one of the most sadistic villains I have seen in a while. Its not the manner in which he kills people but rather the point of why was it necessary to kill that person. Jensen (Chris Evans) was an instant hit with his one liners, and sad but comedic attempt to sing as well as pick up girls. I would not be surprised if his t-shirts are the next craze to hit the store shelves. Last but without a doubt not least there is Aisha (Zoe Saldana). My oh my what a perfect part for her. Zoe has a come a long way since her “Center Stage” days and is continuing to progress nicely. Even if you dislike this movie you won’t be able to deny the fact she’s plays a hot role and was definitely worth the price of admission. As the movie concludes you are left with clues that a sequel is in the making which I’m sure will be just as good. GO PETUNIAS!! -CLAUDIO-
presents
Jessica
Clearwater
Get Ready To See A Lot More
Jessica EVERY WEEK! “I Love Anything Fast That Gives Me An Adrenaline Rush!” JS Photography by: Jay Pierce St. Petersburg
The best I’ve ever had. The hottest girl I’ve ever had sex with, is also probably one of the last girls on this earth who would ever talk to me again. It all started out as an average Saturday night, jumping in and out of down town bars in the search of the elusive “dime piece”. When amongst the glare of sparkling Ed Hardy shirts and spray tans, there she was. I knew this was a fish that my game could not reel in alone, so I enlisted the ultimate game leaver of them all, alcohol. A few or maybe 12 drinks later, I had ingested enough confidence to ask her if she wanted to go back to my place, when those three lovely letters came together to make the most lovely word that can come out of a females mouth, we both knew what was in store. I was in; straight passion as if the plan couldn’t have gone any better or at least that’s what I thought. I would soon find out that there are consequences for consuming those couple of drinks. Towards the peak of use, enjoying each others company, I suddenly started to feel a little off, and then with out any warning I puked, completely covering her in vomit. As you can imagine she looked at me as if she couldn’t believe this had just happened. She jumped out of bed wiping pieces of my dinner off of her as she put her clothes on quicker then she would if her parents had walked in the room. Now when I try and get girls drunk in order to come home with me I don’t drink with them.
by: Alex Dworkin
WITS END Words We Like... MIS-WAVE -To return a wave to someone you think is waving at you, but is actually waving to the person behind you. Usual result is embarrassment! NILLIONAIRE - Person without any money of their own.
QUIZ... Taking into consideration jobs, kids, TV, hobbies, computers and all the home and family responsibilities today’s family has, what amount of time do you think the average couple spends alone together each day? A. B. C. D. E. F. G.
3.5 hours 2 hour 1 hour 45 minutes 30 minutes 15 mins 4 mins
MATCH IT...
Match the President with the years he was in office: 1. Ulysses S. Grant 2. Harry S. Truman 3. Andrew Jackson 4. Calvin Coolidge
A. 1829-1837 B. 1923-1929 C. 1945-1953 D. 1869-1877
ANSWERS: QUIZ:G MATCH: 1.D 2.C 3.A 4.B
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The Ultimate Guy Quiz How will you score?
1. In the company of females, intercourse should be referred to as: a) making love b) Doing the nasty c) the pigskin bus pulling into tuna town 2. You should make love to a woman for the first time only after you've both shared: a) What the future holds for you as a couple. b) your blood-test results c) five jager shots 3. You time your orgasm so that: a) your partner climaxes first b) you both climax simultaneously c) you don't miss SportsCenter 4. Passionate, spontaneous sex on the kitchen floor is: a) healthy, creative love-play b) not the sort of thing your wife/girlfriend could ever agree to c) not the sort of thing your wife/girlfriend need to ever find out about 5. Spending the whole night cuddling a woman you've just had sex with is: a) the best part of the experience b) the second best part of the experience c) $150 extra 6. Your girlfriend says she's gained five pounds in the last month. You tell her that it is: a) impossible - she looks too gorgeous! b) not a problem, she can join your gym c) a conservative estimate
7. You think today's sensitive, caring man is: a) a myth b) an oxymoron c) a moron 8. Foreplay is to sex as: a) appetizer is to entree b) primer is to paint c) a line is to an amusement park ride 9. Which of the following are you most likely to find yourself saying at the end of a relationship? a) "I hope we can still be friends." b) "I'm not in right now, please leave a message at the beep." c) "Welcome to Dumpsville, population, YOU." 10. A woman who is uncomfortable watching you masturbate: a) probably needs more time before she can cope with that sort of intimacy b) is uptight and a waste of time c) shouldn't have sat next to you on the bus in the first place Score 1 point for every answer "a" Score 2 points for every answer "b" Score 3 points for every answer "c" Your Score 10 points: You are a saint, a liar, or really a woman. 11-20 points: You are an average joe. Good luck in the battle of the sexes. 21-30 points: You are a real man's man. Your fear of intimacy with women and your love of men's sports screams latent homosexuality. You need a nice shemale dominatrix to teach you respect. 31-40 points: You can't add.
Survey Says According to our friends on FACEBOOK
If you could change one thing about the opposite sex what would it be? Alan: The use of the words really and seriously in every sentence. Nikole: all men should be somewhat of a gentlemen, opening doors is a start Craig: I'd add an extra boob....JUST KIDDING!!!! Lisa: honesty!!! Rick: The ability to talk all together Kristine: Make them odorless. Lol Bill: They would be attracted to me !! Alan: Nice Ashleigh: THAT THEY WOULD GET A MONTHLY FRIEND Kristine: Make em give birth! Lisa: haha.. or at least they would understand what that friend is like! ugh! Alan: You ladies are rough Lauren: Men would look at a woman's heart and look for integrity, not just looks. Dave: Make women be more understanding about Jesse James & Tiger & why they crave other women besides their wives. Marianne: I just wish both sexes would just agree to disagree. Meg: That we could accept each other without trying to change anything. Maria: That they use their brain and not what's in their pants! Dave: I was kidding folks. Krissy: Make their parts on the inside so they aren't so tempted to use them....like Tiger and Jesse. LOL Lulu: I think men are perfect the way they are : ) and I love them just like that. They have the perfect amount of everything ! Brent: LULu keepn it legit Lulu: LOL!
REALLY..... Seriously!
31
A L I C I A CLEARWATER
“I don’t get angry, but I don’t like when people say they are going to do something and they don’t hold up to their word.”
ALICIA - UNCOVERED “I don’t hide anything”
Birthday: April 16th Hometown: Holland, Michigan Favorite animal: Eagle, because they are free Favorite sports team: Buccaneers If you could be a superhero, what would you want your superpowers to be? I would like to be able to read people’s minds. To know what they are thinking and feeling, so that I could make them feel comfortable in every way. If you won $20 million in the lottery, what would you do with the money? I would invest the money , so it would grow and buy a house. If you were a car, what kind would you be? Mercedes What kind of people do you dislike? “Plan breakers”, I despise people that break plans, conceited, angry, spiteful, greedy, and mean people. What makes you angry? I don’t get angry, but I don’t like when people say they are going to do something and they don’t hold up to their word. What is your ideal man look like? LOL!!!Really??? Tall, dark, and handsome. Do you install toilet paper so that you pull from the top or the bottom of the roll? LOL!!! What???? The top. Where would you like to travel to if you had your choice? Hawaii What is your dream job? I like being outdoors, fishing, being on a boat. I hate being cooped up in an office 8 hrs a day 5 days a week. I’ll freak out. Favorite quote? Life is too short to spend your precious time trying to convince a person who wants to live in gloom and doom otherwise. Give lifting that person your best shot, but don't hang around long enough for his or her bad attitude to pull you down. Instead, surround yourself with optimistic people.-- Zig Ziglar If you had only six months left to live, what would you do with the time? I definitely would be traveling all over the world with my children to all the places that we haven’t been before. Tell us about a secret you have never told anyone... I don’t hide anything; I’m pretty open with everything. What’s the point of hiding anyways? Someone will see your true colors.
Next Week - Danielle TAMPA
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Cutting Edge Custom Catering is a full-service catering company that prides itself in creating the best possible cuisine customizing every detail for the best price. Founded by Certified Executive Chef J. Sean Squires along with Alex Dworkin, the duo have been taking the hospitality industry by storm since 2000. Cutting Edge’s attention to detail and commitment to customer satisfaction surpasses modern standards by offering the finest in event planning, management, and culinary expertise. Here are just a few of the many services Cutting Edge offers:
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• Charitable and Fund Raising Events • Sushi Modeling • Themed Events • Corporate Events
Unusual
DEATHS
1979: Robert Williams, a worker at a Ford Motor Co. plant, was the first known human to be killed by a robot, after the arm of a one-ton factory robot hit him in the head.
1989: Ole Bentzen, a Danish audiologist, died of laughter while watching the movie A Fish Called Wanda. His heart rate went between 250-500 beats per minute and eventually succumbed to cardiac arrest.
2010: Jenny Mitchell, a 19-yearold English hairdresser, was killed when her car exploded after fumes, caused by chemicals mixing with hydrogen peroxide leaking from a bottle of hair bleach, ignited as she lit a cigarette
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Desiree
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Battery Domestic
Cheyenne DWLSR
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Crystal
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Poss. of Ctrl Sub.
BAD DAY TAMPA BAY Colleen -
MUG SHOTS!
DWLSR
Lauren -
Burglary - Auto
Crystal -
Sale or Delivery of Cocaine
LindsayDUI
Meriem-
Theft - $100 or less
Amitra -
Amy -
Callie -
Danae-
Jennifer-
Kristen -
Poss. of Ctrl Sub.
Battery
Poss. of Ctrl Sub.
DUI
Poss. of Ctrl Sub.
Poss. of Ctrl Sub.
With the purchase of 2 drinks