Images Elite Volume 7

Page 1

Images Elite IEPFL.com

Michelle


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PRESENTS

The World’s Largest

BIKINI PARADE Quaker Steak & Lube Clearwater, FL Saturday, June 19th

Pre-Register at

www.IEPFL.com


IMAGES ELITE MAGAZINE Your Men’s Mag...FREE!

CONTENT June is National Sun and Skin Safety Month!

Unusual Deaths

BAD DAY TAMPA BAY PHOTOGRAPHERS:

KG Toops

|

Erica Segarra


Michelle - Tampa


WHO Would Have IT! Ever wanted to leave your partner a message on her breakfast. Well now you can with the message toaster. You write the message on top of the toaster and it will toast your message in to the bread.


ASK CHUCK Dear Chuck, It seems like you have products every where these days...Do you have a favorite Chuck product? Jim Dear Jim, I would have to say my favorite was Chuck toilet paper...it failed quickly because it didn’t take crap from anyone! Chuck


Religious supergroup forms to smite Comedy Central's Jesus Christ project from: the Hollywoodreporter.com James Hibberd’s The Live Feed

Religious supergroup forms to smite Comedy Central's Jesus Christ project It's not on the air yet. It's not shot yet. There's no pilot yet. Hell, there might not even be a script yet. But Comedy Central developing an animated project about Jesus Christ has the biggest names in the TV watchdog business forming a Super Best Friends protest super-group to preemptively smite the show. Brent Bozell (president, Media Research Center), Tony Perkins (president, Family Research Council), Michael Medved (talk radio host), Bill Donohue (president, Catholic League), Rabbi Daniel Lapin (American Alliance of Jews and Christians) and, of course, Tim Winter (president, Parents Television Council) are joining forces to form the Citizens Against Religious Bigotry. That's right -- CARB. (If only it wasn't the Coalition of the Religious Against Bigotry because then it could be "CRAB"). Comedy Central's "JC" is currently in development, which means it's still a couple steps away from becoming a Go project. The show is about Jesus trying to live as a regular guy in New York City and wanting to escape the shadow of his "powerful but apathetic father" (more details here). With Comedy Central having recently censored frequent parenting group target "South Park" for trying to portray the Prophet Muhammad, some Christian leaders see the development of a Jesus cartoon as exhibiting an offensive


double standard. CARB will hold its first press conference on Thursday to urge advertisers not to support the project, should it ever hit the air (why, it's like some kind of network development slate contraception!). “After we reveal the vile and offensive nature of Comedy Central’s previous characterizations of Jesus Christ and God the Father, we expect these advertisers to agree wholeheartedly to end their advertising on Comedy Central and discontinue their support for unabashed, anti-Christian discrimination," Bozell said in a statement. "Why should they be supporting a business that makes a habit of attacking Christianity and yet has a formal policy to censor anything considered offensive to followers of Islam? This double standard is pure bigotry, one from which advertisers should quickly shy away.” Comedy Central had no comment.


Real 911 Calls! Dispatcher: 911 What is your emergency? Caller: Someone broke into my house and took a bite out of my ham and cheese sandwich. Dispatcher: Excuse me? Caller: I made a ham and cheese sandwich and left it on the kitchen table and when I came back from the bathroom, someone had taken a bite out of it. Dispatcher: Was anything else taken? Caller: No, but this has happened to me before and I'm sick and tired of it! Dispatcher: 911 Caller: Yeah, I'm having trouble breathing. I'm all out of breath. Darn....I think I'm going to pass out. Dispatcher: Sir, where are you calling from? Caller: I'm at a pay phone. North and Foster. Dispatcher: ! Sir, an ambulance is on the way. Are you an asthmatic? Caller: No Dispatcher: What were you doing before you started having trouble breathing? Caller: Running from the Police. Dispatcher: 911 What is the nature of your emergency? Caller: I'm trying to reach nine eleven but my phone doesn't have an eleven on it. Dispatcher: This is nine eleven. Caller: I thought you just said it was nine-one-one Dispatcher: Yes, ma'am nine-one-one and nine-eleven are the same thing. Caller: Honey, I may be old, but I'm not stupid.


Dispatcher: 911 What's the nature of your emergency? Caller: My wife is pregnant and her contractions are only two minutes apart Dispatcher: Is this her first child? Caller: No! This is her husband!


The World’s Largest

BIKINI PARADE Clearwater, FL Saturday, June 19th

Who: Women in Bikinis When: Saturday, June 19th Where: Quaker Steak & Lube 10400 49th Street North, Clearwater Time: 4pm - Participant Check-in 6pm - Parade Starts 7pm - Raffle and Prizes 7:30pm - Bikini Contest

$1,000 Grand Prize Bikini Contest You must wear a bikini to participate. A bikini is considered a two-piece swimsuit. Be prepared to walk one mile. High heels, flip flops or tennis shoes are OK. You may want to bring a towel, sunscreen, and anything else you might need. Water will be provided to all participants. The current world record was set on November 2009 in South Africa. The current record is 287 women.


The World’s Largest

www.IEPFL.com

BIKINI PARADE


June is National Sun and Skin Safety Month!

And yeah, you know what that means to us livin’ in the Florida paradise! Cool breeze, warm water, sun-tan oiled ladies, and cold drinks! It can’t get any better than this, however, as we indulge in all of these wonderful delights it is increasingly important for us to take care of what takes care of us. Our skin is the largest organ of the human body, and personally one of Dr. D’s top favorites. Our skin is responsible for so many functions and chemical reactions to occur in the human body that it is imperative we take good care of it. Constant exposure to the sun causes damage to the skin cells which are responsible for the production of melanin. Melanin is what gives us that beautiful tanned glow after spending time outdoors...basically natures way of saying, “Hey! Too much sun! We need protection!” Word of caution to all my sun-lovers: Sunscreen is NOT 100% protection against all UV damages. Damage occurs before you will ever see it, and when you do usually means you are too


late. Even if you are dark pigmented and do not burn easily, it is important to wear protection while outdoors. Using the correct sunscreens for your skin type reduces the chances of a burn, and yes, to all of my beautiful black beauties with your perfectly even skin tone (I’m so jealous), this means you too. Pay attention to protecting your face and your lips...these areas are often neglected and are major areas for cancerous activity. Now lets leave the skin and move up a little. Your eyes are the windows to your soul, or that’s what you tell a hot bronzed babe when you want to ensure a night of post-beach bedroom bliss. Take care of them by wearing polarized sunglasses. Glare is caused by light that is not reflected in separate directions, but horizontally oriented. Polarization blocks this specific form of intense light leaving your eyes less strained, and gives you a better view of ever bead of sweat rolling down beautiful tight tanned beach bodies. So you didn’t listen to a word I said and got burned eh? Aloe is your friend. The use of topical aloe has been long attributed for it’s healing properties and for good reason. Aloe has been used as an aid or remedy for cancer, canker sores, Type 2 diabetes, dry skin, skin burns and ulcerations, ulcerative colitis, IBS, mucocitis, wounds, pressure ulcers and radiation dermatitis. Water is also important. Hydration in KEY for beautiful clear skin as it is essential for proper detoxification through sweat. When in the sun stay away from large amounts of alcohol as this may lead to dehydration...which leads to heat exhaustion...or even heat stroke, which can be fatal. Drink lots of in whether you are in the sun or not, and your skin will thank you! -Dr. D



June is National Sun and Skin Safety Month!


WITS END Words We Like... Evasive Mumbling - Mumbling the answer to a question in hopes that the questioner won’t hear or understand an answer that may get you in trouble. Rebooty - A booty call made with an ex.

QUIZ... The Ramses brand condom is named after the great phaoroh Ramses II who fathered over how many children? A. 80 B. 20 C. 180 D. 70 E. 160 F. 200 G. 50

MATCH IT...

Match the Bucs coach with the year: 1. Sam Wyche 2. Tony Dungy 3. Leeman Bennett 4. Ray Perkins

A. 1995 B. 1988 C. 1986 D. 1996

ANSWERS: QUIZ:E MATCH: 1.A 2.D 3.C 4.B


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Survey Says According to our friends on FACEBOOK

What state where you born?

Jeff: right here in Florida, clearwater. Kimberly: Darby, Pennsylvania! Krissy: Maryland Jessica: Olney, Illinois Jennifer: Otero tupelo, ms

St. Petersburg, FL

Stephanie: Clearwater, FL. Ryan: Florida Christina: IN NEW YORK Matt: NJ Bill: Massachusetts Tony: Illinois John: Clearwater, FL Anglia: St. Petersburg, FL Liza: texas James: Arkansas The Natural State Shannon: the “arctic tundra”! Wisconsin!! GO PACK!!! Tony: Confusion Randy: Oregon Craig: Jersey Laurie: MICHIGAN Sherrie: alabama Bill: Hawaii


COLEs Gun SHOP 1901-03 Douglas Ave. Clearwater, FL 33755

5.7 Pistol ON SALE $995 New FNX Pistol ON SALE $535 mention ad for discount! (727) 447-0507


Oatmeal Cookie (Shooter)

Karaoke - Saturday, June 26th 8pm


Michelle - Tampa


“I really don't get angry that much unless you do something that I don't like.”



“I'm a big dog and fish lover”



Michelle Birthdate? June 25 Hometown? L.A Favorite animal? I'm a big dog and also fish lover Favorite sports team? football -New England Patriots , baseball Red Sox , and Ray's because I stay in Tampa If you could be a superhero, what would you want your superpowers to be? well I would consider cat woman because she can be good or she can be bad . If you won $20 million in the lottery, what would you do with the money? I would give some to my mom because she always supported me no matter how crazy the idea's would be . The rest... I would invest on some stock or something that would filter back so I would still be getting money back . Do you like guys on roids? NO ! If you were a car, what kind would you be? I’m a big fan of muscle cars ex : Chevy Chevelle ss454



What kind of people do you dislike? I hate liars, and people who bring drama. What makes you angry? I really don't get angry that much unless you do something that I don't like. What is your ideal man look like & are you dating one? Some who I can get along with is able to make me happy, enjoy each other company, good looking, and has a nice fit body . Where would you like to travel to if you had your choice? I would love to visit Spain just because I have never been there.


What is your dream job? To be like a planer of event / parties Favorite hangout? I love the beach because its chill Craziest thing you have ever done - don't hold back? Lied to a cop told him I was prego to get out of a ticket If you had only six months left to live, what would you do with the time? Enjoy it to the fullest


Images Elite IEPFL.com

Ninette Next Week!


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Unusual

DEATHS

1992: American survivalist Christopher McCandless died of starvation near Denali National Park after a few months trying to live off the land in the Alaskan wilderness. His life and death were researched by Jon Krakauer, who then wrote the book Into the Wild which was later turned into a movie 1941: Sherwood Anderson, writer, swallowed a toothpick at a party and then died of peritonitis

1947: The Collyer Brothers, extreme cases of compulsive hoarders, were found dead in their home in New York. The younger brother, Langley, died by falling victim to a booby trap he had set up, causing a mountain of objects, books, and newspapers to fall on him crushing him to death. His blind brother, Homer, who had depended on Langley for care, died of starvation some days later


IE

IEPFL.com “Life In Our World”

Forget living the life of luxury, this is our life!


Amber DUI

Amber DWLSR

Demi Battery

BAD DAY TAMPA BAY Judith

MUG SHOTS!

Worthless Check

Tammie

Contempt Court

Kristen VOP

Tiffany

Poss Ctrl Sub

Tonya DUI


Erin -

Jessica -

Jordan

Lauren

Natasha

Susan

Poss. Ctrl Sub

DUI

Burglary

DUI

Petit Theft

Poss Ctrl Sub


With the purchase of 2 drinks


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