Impact Magazine - Issue 179 - Dec 06

*NQBDU issue 179 dec ‘06

» cu in hell

IMPACT INVESTIGATES THE CHRISTIAN UNION

› willey’s censure THE SU PRESIDENT’S WORST WEEK

› hot chip FAST TRACKER INTERVIEW

03 LIK

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PACT IM

E, EVERYO

on uni an son i t s i ea chr he s

the ll, ‘tis t we ll... ra aftte

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n ed o wast s t e ct g impa od shit. o g e th

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lega

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ddict coke a le christmas

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tt just a li r. e e ch

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stoners

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impact’s very own cheech and chong.

demo

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something nice about the demo people.

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ecstacy bad, bad dr ugs for bad, bad pe ople.

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veil row

it’s som ehow s till topical.

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sexis

m

you w omen ar going on ab e always out it

crim

e

beca us ist, a e crimina nd th ls exey ha te us .

contents

29

05 I do believe that in issue 178 you actually printed a letter which suggested that the drunken antics of Karnival, our nationally recognised student charity organisation, went unchecked by our Students’ Union. I am disappointed that you propagate such misguided nonsense. I know we’re all harping on about free speech these days but let’s get a grip, Impact. As an ex- rep and now Karni Kommitee member I can assure that, far from going unchecked, Karni are positively hounded by them down at the SU about alcohol and Freshers and all that. As a result, this year every guest at the Snowflake Ball will receive one tenth of a bottle of wine less than in 2005, and instead will be treated to a display of fire eating and sword swallowing.

Hopefully we will save a liver or two at the expense of the odd tonsil. If you are lucky enough to get your hands on a coveted ticket you will also be greated by easy tiger. On an odder note - this year Freshers will no longer be guided to The Ark after a rag raid by their sober rep, because the title ‘sober rep’ implied that the other reps were drunk. This was viewed as a little nonsensical within Karni.

However Karni does, and always has, cared a great deal about the wellbeing of all its volunteers and if we didn’t, we would have a lot of people to answer to. The Students’ Union take an uncompromising approach towards student welfare, and Karni, by virtue of our reputation, often fall on the receiving end of hard line SU policy.

The Karni I know and love encourages fun and creates a sense of community whilst raising shed loads of dosh for very worthy causes. They even run events, like the skydive, where sobriety is positively encouraged. Chris – no one would suggest that it was fun to have meningitis, or leukaemia or any of the other horrible illnesses that the money we raise goes towards treating.

However I’m sure it isn’t fun to be told that the money wasn’t available to clinically test a new drug that could save your life. Let’s face it, if Karni raises enough money to save the life of one child, who gives a sh*t about

regulars

Karni will always be a contentious subject and forever isunderstood by all but those closest to it.

Fact – in 2005, Karni hospitalised 500% fewer freshers than the AU but gave over £500,000 more to charity (casualty figures based on estimates that may be wrong).

Anon Dear Impact, I am angry and upset at the detrimental comments made towards Karni in your last edition by Charlie Griffiths. I am a Karni Rep and I am not naïve. I am well aware of the reputation that Karni and their reps have around the uni. Walking into the Ark last week after a Saturday rag-raid in which we helped raise thousands of pounds for Meningitis UK, I thought I must have been stealing from charity, not giving to it, when I felt at least 30 sets of eyes boring into me because I was wearing the red T-shirt.

It does reflect badly that a dry rag raid would probably not attract as many people, but not on us, that’s surely on the student body as a whole.

I, along with the other reps, work so hard to raise money for a variety of charities, and to go along with your comments, Charlie, I apologise for not sobering every evening out to Oceana, or in hall events by telling people in detail about the cancer patients or local youths, that their participation is going towards. People simply don’t want to hear that before their nights out. You’re suggesting that people shouldn’t have fun but instead be thinking always about the unfortunate, you may be a saint and able to do this, most of the other students at this uni are not!!

People are not forced to drink on rag raids or at any events, I have never said to a first year, ‘drink this or noone will respect you’. People who want to drink, drink and those who don’t, don’t.

37-40

news

41

sports

travel

new places to go with or without your mates

As our esteemed editor-inchief once said, I suppose I should explain myself. I’m Miriam, and I’ ll be your editor (well, I already am) this academic year. I will be pontif icating every month - don’t you feel lucky?

Every year, each editor spouts the immortal words: “This is going to be the best year ever!” Admittedly, as time goes by and dissertations take precedence somewhat, this often falls by the wayside, but I think it’s a def inite possibility - and in this vein, please do let us know your grievances about Impact - what do you love and what do you hate? We’d be nothing without you, you know :-* Now, moving on from my sycophantic leanings, to a brief overview of what we have in store for you this issue. As we rapidly approach the end of another university term, Impact has bumped up its game and given you the copy to end all copies - our full-to-bursting November/December edition, which should keep you going at least up until December 16th, if not through the holidays, keeping withdrawal symptoms at bay.

As new drug laws threaten to come into force, Impact has taken the initiative and tried out some of the currently legal (and not so legal) varieties in order to keep you informed (that’s what we’ ll be telling the police, anyway). As well as that, we’ve delved deep into the heart of the huge organisation that is the Students’ Union CU in order to uncover their undemocratic electoral process, and taken a trip down to London to f ind out what really went on at the recent anti-top-up fees march.

Witty closing,

style

spare parts small but perfectly formed

43-57

grapevine ocean will sell out again this week (f*%k)

34-35

Editorial

not just pretty faces, pretty clothes too

we take the music editor for a run 30-31

‘Spooner’ - Karni Rep ’06

We reps lose sleep, we spend hours upon hours of our time organising events and selling tickets, but we don’t ask

willey censured + nus debate

13-15

for any sympathy because that’s what we signed up for. By the end of this year I can say along with my fellow reps that I have played an integral part in raising over half a million pounds for charity, a staggering amount. You may think we all just want to get pissed up, but every single one of our reps is passionate about doing it for charity so guess what, if I see you outside the ark next week, Charlie, I’m going to save a special chunder, just for you!

*NQBDU

7-12

any of this nonsense, and who are you to question what we give so much of our time to and what we are passionate about achieving?

issue 179 dec ‘06

nice

reviews of things that are good

» cu in hell

IMPACT INVESTIGATES THE CHRISTIAN UNION

› willey’s censure

THE SU PRESIDENT”S WORST WEEK

58

famous last words we pester ricky from the the kaiser chiefs

› hot chip

FAST TRACKER INTERVIEW

cover image: dave eborall

letters

Dearest Impact,

05 I do believe that in issue 178 you actually printed a letter which suggested that the drunken antics of Karnival, our nationally recognised student charity organisation, went unchecked by our Students’ Union. I am disappointed that you propagate such misguided nonsense. I know we’re all harping on about free speech these days but let’s get a grip, Impact. As an ex- rep and now Karni Kommitee member I can assure that, far from going unchecked, Karni are positively hounded by them down at the SU about alcohol and Freshers and all that. As a result, this year every guest at the Snowflake Ball will receive one tenth of a bottle of wine less than in 2005, and instead will be treated to a display of fire eating and sword swallowing.

Hopefully we will save a liver or two at the expense of the odd tonsil. If you are lucky enough to get your hands on a coveted ticket you will also be greated by easy tiger. On an odder note - this year Freshers will no longer be guided to The Ark after a rag raid by their sober rep, because the title ‘sober rep’ implied that the other reps were drunk. This was viewed as a little nonsensical within Karni.

However Karni does, and always has, cared a great deal about the wellbeing of all its volunteers and if we didn’t, we would have a lot of people to answer to. The Students’ Union take an uncompromising approach towards student welfare, and Karni, by virtue of our reputation, often fall on the receiving end of hard line SU policy.

The Karni I know and love encourages fun and creates a sense of community whilst raising shed loads of dosh for very worthy causes. They even run events, like the skydive, where sobriety is positively encouraged. Chris – no one would suggest that it was fun to have meningitis, or leukaemia or any of the other horrible illnesses that the money we raise goes towards treating.

However I’m sure it isn’t fun to be told that the money wasn’t available to clinically test a new drug that could save your life. Let’s face it, if Karni raises enough money to save the life of one child, who gives a sh*t about

regulars

Karni will always be a contentious subject and forever isunderstood by all but those closest to it.

Fact – in 2005, Karni hospitalised 500% fewer freshers than the AU but gave over £500,000 more to charity (casualty figures based on estimates that may be wrong).

Anon Dear Impact, I am angry and upset at the detrimental comments made towards Karni in your last edition by Charlie Griffiths. I am a Karni Rep and I am not naïve. I am well aware of the reputation that Karni and their reps have around the uni. Walking into the Ark last week after a Saturday rag-raid in which we helped raise thousands of pounds for Meningitis UK, I thought I must have been stealing from charity, not giving to it, when I felt at least 30 sets of eyes boring into me because I was wearing the red T-shirt.

It does reflect badly that a dry rag raid would probably not attract as many people, but not on us, that’s surely on the student body as a whole.

I, along with the other reps, work so hard to raise money for a variety of charities, and to go along with your comments, Charlie, I apologise for not sobering every evening out to Oceana, or in hall events by telling people in detail about the cancer patients or local youths, that their participation is going towards. People simply don’t want to hear that before their nights out. You’re suggesting that people shouldn’t have fun but instead be thinking always about the unfortunate, you may be a saint and able to do this, most of the other students at this uni are not!!

People are not forced to drink on rag raids or at any events, I have never said to a first year, ‘drink this or noone will respect you’. People who want to drink, drink and those who don’t, don’t.

37-40

news

41

sports

travel

new places to go with or without your mates

As our esteemed editor-inchief once said, I suppose I should explain myself. I’m Miriam, and I’ ll be your editor (well, I already am) this academic year. I will be pontif icating every month - don’t you feel lucky?

Every year, each editor spouts the immortal words: “This is going to be the best year ever!” Admittedly, as time goes by and dissertations take precedence somewhat, this often falls by the wayside, but I think it’s a def inite possibility - and in this vein, please do let us know your grievances about Impact - what do you love and what do you hate? We’d be nothing without you, you know :-* Now, moving on from my sycophantic leanings, to a brief overview of what we have in store for you this issue. As we rapidly approach the end of another university term, Impact has bumped up its game and given you the copy to end all copies - our full-to-bursting November/December edition, which should keep you going at least up until December 16th, if not through the holidays, keeping withdrawal symptoms at bay.

As new drug laws threaten to come into force, Impact has taken the initiative and tried out some of the currently legal (and not so legal) varieties in order to keep you informed (that’s what we’ ll be telling the police, anyway). As well as that, we’ve delved deep into the heart of the huge organisation that is the Students’ Union CU in order to uncover their undemocratic electoral process, and taken a trip down to London to f ind out what really went on at the recent anti-top-up fees march.

Witty closing,

style

spare parts small but perfectly formed

43-57

grapevine ocean will sell out again this week (f*%k)

34-35

Editorial

not just pretty faces, pretty clothes too

we take the music editor for a run 30-31

‘Spooner’ - Karni Rep ’06

We reps lose sleep, we spend hours upon hours of our time organising events and selling tickets, but we don’t ask

willey censured + nus debate

13-15

for any sympathy because that’s what we signed up for. By the end of this year I can say along with my fellow reps that I have played an integral part in raising over half a million pounds for charity, a staggering amount. You may think we all just want to get pissed up, but every single one of our reps is passionate about doing it for charity so guess what, if I see you outside the ark next week, Charlie, I’m going to save a special chunder, just for you!

*NQBDU

7-12

any of this nonsense, and who are you to question what we give so much of our time to and what we are passionate about achieving?

issue 179 dec ‘06

nice

reviews of things that are good

» cu in hell

IMPACT INVESTIGATES THE CHRISTIAN UNION

› willey’s censure

THE SU PRESIDENT”S WORST WEEK

58

famous last words we pester ricky from the the kaiser chiefs

› hot chip

FAST TRACKER INTERVIEW

cover image: dave eborall

letters

Dearest Impact,

07

by owen bennet Dave Willey, the president of the Students Union, has faced internal disciplinary action following revelations over his association with Outgoing Travel Ltd, the company which organises the Summer Break. Impact has learned that Willey has been censured by the Exec, as his role representing the company was seen by some to be a conflict of interest. There were even rumours from some close to the Exec that the Registrar was considering his options for further discipline.

Outgoing Travel Ltd have caused controversy in the SU before, as in 2005 they broke an agreement with Pioneer Travel, the SU’s resident travel company, to only sell their Summer Break to Newquay through Pioneer. However, Outgoing Travel waived the agreement in order to let Karni promote the trip, something which a Council Report from July 2005 felt was inappropriate: “The committee agreed that Karnival should not have entered into this agreement with Outgoing Travel.� At the time, Dave Willey was a key organiser of the Summer Break trip due to his involvement with both Karni and Outgoing Travel Ltd. A member of Karni confirmed that Willey was responsible for organising the previous two Summer Break trips in his capacity as Regional Brand Manager for the travel firm.

Dave Willey continued his role as Regional Brand Manager for Outgoing Travel Ltd long into his time as SU president. However, he resigned his position at the beginning of No-

in da hood by ben davies and georgina breach From October 2007, The University of Nottingham’s School of History will launch a one year Robin Hood studies course in its MA programme. The notorious outlaw, who according to legend lived in Sherwood Forest, has captured our imagination for centuries, and has been immortalized in numerous films and television programmes, including Disney’s classic 1973 film adaptation. The new MA is believed to be the first course of its kind in the world.

vember, prior to the Exec discussing whether Willey holding both positions represented a conflict of interest. Yet, the minutes of these Exec meetings where the issue was discussed are currently not available on the SU website, with Democracy and Communications Officer Ian Wiggins explaining that the resignation of the web designer means that the minutes cannot be posted for public display.

As a result of Dave Willey’s resignation from Outgoing Travel Ltd, he had to return the perks his job afforded him. A source within in the SU told us this included a company car and a computer. A spokesman for Outgoing Travel Ltd said that someone in the position of Re-

Impact spoke to the Medieval History lecturer leading the course, Dr Robert Lutton, who explained the reasons, aims and challenges behind the new MA pathway. With Nottingham and Sherwood Forest featuring heavily in the earliest Robin Hood stories, Lutton believes that Nottingham University will be ‘a fitting home’ for the new MA pathway. He went on to say that he aims to establish Nottingham University as the ‘centre for advanced study’ in Robin Hood and the period in which the stories emerged.

The course will entail students exploring the earliest accounts of the legendary character through ballads, stories and plays, as well as having access to rare fifteenth century manuscripts. They will also investigate why this figure has remained so resonant in our culture.

888 *NQBDUOPUUJOHIBN DPN OFXT

willey: he’s a happy-go-lucky kinda chap

gional Brand Manager would also be entitled to free places on trips organised by the company, although Impact has been unable to verify whether Willey received such places.

Both Ian Wiggins and Dave Willey refused to comment on the issue, instead preferring to wait for the report to be published at Student Council on Thursday 16th November. Due to publishing commitments, Impact had to go to press before the meeting. However, a full report on the conclusion of the Council will be on the Impact website as you read this, so log on to www.impactnottingham.com in order to discover the outcome.

The university has been described to be the “perfect environment� for this study due to the apt setting of the university’s locality and the department’s particular strength in medieval history.

However, there are only fragments of evidence that point to an actual historical figure, and so mystery still surrounds the issue of whether a ‘real’ Robin Hood ever existed. For Lutton however, it is ‘what these Robin Hood stories mean for ordinary people’ and ‘why they have become so famous’ that are the ‘really interesting questions’ to investigate. A course sure to be embraced by many, The University of Nottingham is adding yet another string to its bow.

news

willey in the shit

news

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news no to nus

a debate raged through the ages

by jessica elgot A campaign has been launched by several members of the SU Exec which could see Nottingham potentially disaffiliated from the National Union of Students. Inter-site Officer Ed Keene and Equal Opportunities Officer Matt Gayle challenged proposals to re-adopt Nottingham’s affiliation to the NUS at the last Student Council meeting, in what Democracy and Communications Officer Ian Wiggins called, ‘a total abuse of Council’. The members of Council voted to lay the issue on the table until the next Council meeting, to avoid being locked in a fierce debate about the pros and cons of NUS until long into the night.

Wiggins told Impact: “If there was a No vote at council, we would not automatically be disaffiliated.� Wiggins stated that the Higher Education Act meant that a campus-wide referendum would have to be called before the Exec could seriously consider disaffiliation.

This was refuted by Matt Gayle, who claimed a referendum would not be necessary. Gayle commented: “I’m not against a referendum but it needs to be a fair referendum. At many other universities that have tried to disaffiliate‌ the university is descended on by‌ lots of proNUS propaganda and students are left without a balanced argumentâ€?.

Gayle claims that the NUS fail to represent students nationally and are run by selfmotivated graduates, who are out of touch with student issues. Gayle told us ‘77% of our members were against the AUT strike. The National Executive [of the NUS] knew this and they were in favour of the AUT strike�. Gayle

added “The main point of the argument is that what the NUS is meant to do, represent students, give students a national voice on student issues, it doesn’t do that�. However, Wiggins is doubtful about Nottingham’s ability to represent its views nationally if we were to disaffiliate: “The government will listen to a national union not a single union. We are stronger together as a national collective voice.

All of NUS’ successes that they’ve had in government show that.�

There is a number of Universities which currently operate without NUS affiliation:

Glasgow, Southampton, Imperial and Edinburgh are among them. This may suggest that Nottingham University parting ways with the NUS is not as unlikely as it may first appear. Gayle sees it as a definite possibility “We need support on a number of levels, it’s something we have the potential to make happen, we certainly have the brain power, whether or not we have the will, I don’t know.�

However with a large proportion of the SU Exec poised to passionately defend the NUS, it will be interesting to witness the outcome of this highly controversial debate when the Council next meet on the 16th November.

lecturers told to spy on asian students by tim barwell

news

It has been reported that lecturers and university staff across Britain are being told to spy on Asian looking and Muslim students.

The Guardian explained that the government wants them to do this if they are suspected of involvement in Islamic extremism and of supporting terrorist violence. They will be told to report their suspicion to a specialist police unit, as the government fears that university campuses have become fertile recruiting grounds for extremists.

Abi Malik, the Vice-President of the Islamic society, gauged the opinion of Musilm students in response to the proposed policy: “It is mainly

one of anger, but at the same time frustration that there is still a lot of ignorance out there. A more effective method would be to create dialogue and understanding, but this policy would just isolate people more.� Of their experience on Nottingham campuses, Malik said: “We haven’t had any problems in Nottingham. We try to promote events within the SU and try to get people involved.� The university’s public affairs team’s response was impartial, saying that they had received no formal communication from the government and that the Islamic society at the university was an example of good practice on our cosmopolitan campus. It seems therefore that very few people believe such a policy is necessary, and should be scrapped before it has been given any more thought by the government.

all lecturers to be given huge magnifying glasses

jcr president cleared of rape by tim barwell

The former JCR president for Broadgate Park, John Hagan, has been cleared of raping a fresher following a four-day trial at Nottingham Crown Court. The 22-year-old maths student stood accused of raping the fresher, 18, last year after he had been approached to escort the drunk girl home.

Hagan was among older students delegated to care for newcomers after agreeing to the “no-sex� pact during freshers’ week to avoid any vulnerable first years being taken advantage of. However the fresher awoke to the message “I pulled the president� along with Hagan’s mobile number scrawled upon her naked body. Just six days into her degree, the girl said she remembered Hagan pulling down her underwear before she passed out.

However Hagan denied all charges, claiming the sex was consensual, allegedly telling police: “Technically, I broke the contract by 40 minutes which I felt like a prat for doing.�

Jon Hagan cleared

where’s market square?

After returning the verdict, Judge Tony Mitchell raised concerns about the level of university drinking. He told Hagan: “You are

very much aware that your conduct left you with some very considerable doubts, morally, if nothing else. This is a lesson which will take you a long time to overcome. There is a very real concern at universities about the conduct and behaviour of students.�

Following the case, a university spokesman said: “This has been a period of great distress for everyone involved. In response to the judge’s comments, we wish to emphasise that Nottingham, in common with universities throughout the country, is taking a range of measures to address the welfare of newly-arrived students.� SU President Dave Willey echoed these comments: “The binge drinking issue involves people from all around the country, not just at the University of Nottingham. As a union we are always trying to tackle that. Through Easy Tiger we try and encourage students to drink responsibly and know what they are doing to themselves by drinking too much.� As the trust we place in Week One reps comes under scrutiny yet again, it seems that the future of freshers’ week as we know it may be under threat.

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news

here it is, sillys!

by anthony palmer

Speaking to Impact, Nottingham City Council have said that the building will be “95% complete by the end of the year�, but with no definite end in sight, there is concern that it could be a while longer until the largest open town square in England is reopened.

Many Nottingham students have been asking about the lack of progress for a while. Most people in their first and second years have never known the Old Market Square without the chaotic construction works. One con-

cerned student, Bethan Thomas, told Impact that “this unsightly development is a bit of a fiasco, a scar on the face of Nottingham and I hope they can sort it out by Christmas�.

Despite the delay, part of the square will be

open for a German Christmas Market from the end of November. A 50ft Christmas tree has been ordered and will be erected in front of the Council House. However, the overall “opening spectaculars� are being planned for next year, sometime in Spring 2007.

news

The £7m project to renovate the Old Market Square, which began in October 2005, has been hit by a series of delays. Owing to contractor Balfour Beatty’s difficulties in sourcing stones from Ireland and China, the development, which had been planned for completion in November, will not be fully open

by Christmas.

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news admission: impossible nus demonstration in london by owen bennet On Sunday 29th October, the NUS held a demonstration in London in protest at fears that the government plans to lift the cap on university tuition fees. The march, which culminated with a rally in Trafalgar Square, saw students from all over the country marching under the NUS banner, although attendance seemed to fall short of the 10,000 protesters predicted by the organisers.

The University of Nottingham was represented by around 150 students, who had all given up their Sunday lie-ins in favour of catching free buses down to London at 7:00am. Various members of the Exec were present, including Education Officer Benedict Pringle, who later commented: “I was absolutely delighted with the turn out‌ there was a range and diversity of students which shows that this is an issue that affects absolutely everyone.â€? The early start did not dampen the carnival atmosphere of the march, with whistles being blown at ear-piercing volume, and chants telling Blair which part of his body he could insert the fees being sung in a loud and boisterous manner. As the protesters were shepherded along the embankment and under Waterloo Bridge, many members of the public voiced their approval of the demonstration. One woman told Impact: “I think its outrageous

previously on ‘top-up fees’ by owen bennet

news

Tony Blair’s government introduced socalled ‘top-up’ fees in an attempt to secure greater funding for universities. The Labour Party abolished the previous grant system in 1998, meaning that students would have to pay around ÂŁ1,000 per year in tuition fees if they attended university. This scheme was criticized by many at the time, who felt that it would deter many from staying on for Higher Education. In an attempt to deal with some of these issues, Blair proposed a scheme in 2003 whereby students would not have to pay any tuition fees until after graduation, and even then only once the person was earning over a certain wage. However, for the first time, individual universities could set their own price for tuition, although the maximum that any

could charge was ‘capped’ at ÂŁ3,000 a year.

This controversial proposal met with much opposition from many within the Labour Party, and the Bill only got voted through the House of Commons by a margin of 2 votes.

The NUS fear that the government is planning to raise the cap again, meaning that some universities will be able to charge up to £10,000 a year for a particular degree program. It is feared that this will lead to an elitist system developing, where a student’s financial situation is as much of a determining factor in which university they apply to as their grades. However, the government believe that this is the fairest way to secure greater funding for universities, and that as students benefit later in life from having a degree, they should shoulder more of the financial burden themselves.

that students have to pay so much in tuition fees�, a sentiment that was echoed by other passers-by.

Upon arriving in Trafalgar Square, the crowd was treated to a video of MP’s proclaiming their support for the protest. Ken Livingstone, Mayor of London, sent a message saying, “I am proud that students have taken a stand here in London.â€? A range of speakers addressed the rally, including President of the NUS, Gemma Tumelty, and former Cabinet Minister and darling of the political Left, Tony Benn. However, some students became concerned that the protest was being hijacked by those who were more interested in attacking the government’s foreign policy than promoting the NUS’ concern about raising the cap on top-up fees. One member of the Exec commented: “I did think it was a shame that some factions of the Left tried to hijack it [the protest]‌whilst you can’t separate out the issue of why the government chooses to spend money on some things and not others‌ it was a shame that people couldn’t focus on the specific causeâ€?.

As the crowd dispersed when the rally had finished, any sense of achievement was tempered by the thought that this was in fact only the beginning of the NUS’ fight to stop the cap being lifted. It’s all very well making noise, but getting people to listen is a different thing entirely. check out the symbolism, maaan

celebrities by owen bennet and ben davies

mission impossible rally by heather saxton and emily grosvenor-taylor We went to protest against lifting the cap off Top-up Fees‌ but what were thousands really there for?

We waited to begin the protest, still drowsy from our early start but prepared to report on the day’s events as impartial journalists. It soon became clear, however, that this demonstration was not for the apathetic. NUS delegates merrily handed us placards as we went to our ‘starting point’ emblazoned with the alliterated and catchy slogans that re-enforced the reasons for our protest. In our sleepdeprived state we accepted whatever was thrust into our hands, only to realise that some non-NUS protesters had also slipped their own contributions on to the placard circuit. ‘F**K FEES’ read one along with the socialist students’ label underneath. ‘Tax the rich to fund the poor’ read another. It seemed that the students of a far left political standpoint were increasingly keen to impose their newspapers and pamphlets upon the protesters. By the time we reached Trafalgar Square we had accrued a sequoia’s worth of Socialist appeals, papers and newsletters.

The rally kicked off with a video demonstrating support of the NUS’s campaign from respected members of the community along with a message from Ken Livingstone stating how he had had “consistently argued that this government was wrong to introduce top-up fees�. The speeches that followed, however took a noticeably more militant stance on the issue at hand. We were addressed by the Joint

In another coup for Impact, we managed to beat Sky News (again) to an exclusive interview with Tony Benn, one of the headline speakers at the Rally. Throughout his 50 years as a high profile Labour MP, Benn had championed many high profile left wing policies such as nuclear disarmament, and most recently the Stop the War coalition. Explaining his involvement in the NUS’s protest, Benn stressed that the fight against the removal of the cap ‘is part of everybody’s battle, from pensioners to nurses’.

Resentful of the Governments role in Iraq and bemused by the poor funding of the country’s universities, Benn called on Tony Blair ‘to use our resources to improve the quality of our lives, instead of wasting it on weapons of war’.

11

here’s ben, looking all big, as usual

General Secretary of the UCU, Paul Mackney, as “friends, colleagues and comradesâ€?. He then went on to emphatically state that the UCU will not ‘spy’ on students in lectures and that if “you haven’t been radicalised by the government’s disastrous foreign policy, then you haven’t been paying attention.â€? After demanding the return of troops from Iraq, he suggested a progressive tax system whereby those earning over ÂŁ100,000 per year were taxed 50%. Criticism of the war appeared in many other speeches that day. Tony Benn was another who appealed for the government to “stop killing Iraqis and Afghansâ€?. It seemed to us that the protest against simply lifting the cap on fees had been diverted into a stand against the war in Iraq along with a grumble about other current political issues.

news

“...and thirdly, you’re way too young for me�

Impact managed to secure exclusive interviews with two of the major figures at the demonstration. NUS President, Gemma Tumelty, broke short an interview with Sky News in order to speak exclusively to Impact, and she detailed the next step for the campaign: “We need MP’s postbags to be brimming; we need to be lobbying them in their constituencies, in their surgeries; we need a national lobby of Parliament; we need students to co-ordinate local action, regional action and keep up the pressure.� She

went on to say how pleased she was with the turnout, despite it not being “all of my 5.3 million members squeezed into Trafalgar Square.�

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news hard up? hard luck! by golnar aref- adib In September 2004 the Hardship Fund and Loan were replaced by the Access to Learning fund (ALF). Ever heard of it? If you haven’t, you are in the overwhelming majority. The current Student Satisfaction survey revealed that only 13% of final year undergraduate Nottingham students were aware of the new funding scheme. This is compared with 63% in 2003/ 04 when the Hardship Fund operated.

Sarah Cook, Support Funds Officer, defended Student Support Services stating that total number of applications was only down by 4% when compared with last year’s figures. Cook admitted the problems following the change of name had been recognised and they were now “working to do widespread promotion to put the message across all year�. Leaflets were handed out at this year’s registration and two Financial Awareness weeks have been arranged for the end of each term, a time when people are most likely to be experiencing financial difficulties.

The aim of the fund, as stated by the Department of Education is to ‘help vulnerable people access and remain in education�.

However, last year over a third of students who applied or considered applying were reported to be dissatisfied and Impact has been informed of an alleged unfairness within the system. Many students were angered by their lack of eligibility due to parental income.

One fourth year studying engineering stated that: “It would seem that as my parents earn more than the threshold for receiving increased student loan the access to learning fund does not want to help me.�

Another grievance is that the fund could not be used to meet the cost of tuition fees. Cook responded to this saying it was “government specifications�, and students who were being forced to leave University due to their financial circumstances may be eligible for a Student Crises loan.

Student Services also recognizes there is potential for misuse of the system since only 3 months worth of bank statements are requested from applicants. However, Cook stated that “the concern is that providing 1 year worth of bank statements could dissuade legitimate students from applying and as the majority do not defraud the fund, we shouldn’t

student mentor scheme by heather saxton and emily grosvenor-taylor Plans to trial a scheme to introduce Student Mentors to Halls of Residence caused divided opinions at the recent SU Council meeting.

The scheme, which has been successfully pioneered at the University of Birmingham, proposes to bring in undergraduates or postgraduates, paid by the SU, to live in Halls and provide a familiar face for first year students to turn to for support and welfare advice. This would be an especially important addition to off-campus third party accommodation which currently has no tutors.

Supporters of the scheme within the SU state that the scheme would increase diversity within halls and simplify the role of Hall tutors who could put more focus on effective discipline.

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It seems, however, that not all members of the SU are in agreement about the proposed scheme. It has been criticized for attacking established institutions such as Hall Tutors and the elected Welfare Reps, who will have decreased responsibility as some of their

this student didn’t know about the ALF, either

change the process a result of a few bad eggs.�

ALF can be applied for throughout the year, grants range from ÂŁ100-ÂŁ3500, at the discretion of the team. If you require further information on the funds contact: Student Service Reception Tel: 0115 95 13710 Email: financialsupport@nottingham.ac.uk

duties would be taken over by the Mentors.

This could lead to a confusing system with students unsure about whom they should turn to for advice and possibly being reluctant to turn to fellow students for help with personal problems. Questions have also been raised about whether it is fair that the Mentors receive a wage, whilst people working for welfare services, such as Nightline, do so on a voluntary basis. Vala Anderson, SU Associations Officer, argues that the University should be trying to enhance the existing system rather than supplementing it. She states, “We already have JCR Welfare Reps, a Welfare Committee, a number of welfare campaigns and Nightline providing peer support. I think we should focus on getting the Cripps In-Patient Unit back, or even get on site Nurses back in Hall. The loss of both of those was a significant loss of welfare service that has not been replaced�.

It can be seen that although this scheme has advantages in off-campus accommodation, there will undoubtedly be issues raised on behalf of students living on University Park before further action can be taken.

a mentor to many, a parent to some...

by alex hoban Impact Music Editor Alex Hoban is a wimp. When LCD Soundsystem’s ambitious ‘45:33’, an original piece of music designed as a exercise soundtrack, slipped out of the pile of free CDs that the arty-farty loafers take for granted each day, a gage was thrown. Yea, the smug git can compare portions of the electro dance masterpiece to obscure funk vinyl from the 70s, but can he actually up his weedy frame and put the CD to any real use? Impact Sports sent him on a jog around Lenton to find out‌ ‌These New Rave kecks have never seen daylight before, being the preserve only of glow-stick enhanced nights at Demo, but lycra has a different purpose in the sport’s world and I’m going to put it to the test. ‘0:01’ reads the iPod timer as I step outside my front door and allow the harsh winds of change to wash across my face like a cathartic golden shower from an imp in a scat movie. The music kicks in with a rumbling synth bass and suddenly I realise I was born to run.

Five minutes later a rolling sonic odyssey has taken over with looped piano at the fore. It has me running so fast people’s faces start to blur.

Entranced as I am, I wonder how sports and music have never before found themselves such ubiquitous bedfellows. Then I remember Ant & Dec’s ‘We’re On The Ball’ and my wonderment is undercut, so I go back to thinking about two pregnant women with outy belly buttons, standing next to each other making their stomachs look like a pair of the world’s biggest knockers.

Before long I’m breezing through Lenton High Rise estate, like a Technicolor plastic bag caught in a particularly vicious gust of wind.

Fearsome. A local man with a ladder catches my eye and accosts: “Why man? Why?� “Eat My Goal!� I bellow, before kicking him upside the head and running off with his watch.

With the music in my ears and the world turning beneath my feet, I feel unstoppable.

In my mind I see Tony Hadley, with the rest of Spandau Ballet grinning behind him. “Work ‘till you’re musclebound!� he inspires. I will Tony, I will!

My jog is nearly abandoned when the staff of The Savoy cinema start chasing me with hair-

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dryers, trying to weaken my athletic constancy by causing a body temperature imbalance. I’ve forgotten to bring water, so I lean right back and spit repeatedly onto my own face to cool down. Once I’ve regained my senses, I realise it was just an adrenaline fuelled hallucination and see that The Savoy staff are still sat contently behind their counter, trading bits of fluff they’ve found like they always do.

Maybe I’m not as strong as I thought I was.

Halfway through and I’m feeling giddy, my arms are turning into fish and my legs are shrinking up my rectum. I thought sport was meant to make you feel alive, not jaded and weather-beaten like a stray dog tearing at a sack of hospital waste. I’m a thinking man, mental stimulation is where I get my kicks, not ransacking the streets like an under-nourished Ghengis Khan encased head to toe in brightly coloured synthetic material. Where is my mind?

But I persevere through hardship and come out stronger. As I sashay down the aisle of Sainsburys, hell bent on devouring a sugar-based recharge snack before returning to the mean streets, I start to realise what’s going through the sprinters’ mind as they pass the baton; the footballer as he scores a goal; or the rugby player as he nuzzles his forehead into another man’s crotch: “I am alive. ROARRRRR!� Exercising to music just makes you feel cooler doing it...

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macho, macho man

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sports excuse me ref, that man is standing at a seemingly impossible angle.

sphere in the Plymouth game,� enthuses Tom. It was very tight and the crowd were great.�

The recent narrow 20-24 defeat to Cornish Pirates, who coach Glenn Delaney describes as “the best team in the league�, is further proof that the club is moving in the right direction. The increased squad size is further seen as a positive for Delaney. “We’ve got incredible depth on the bench, and the 7 fellas we have on the bench are all incredibly good performers,� notes the coach. “You go into the modern game thinking about a match 22 rather than just the 15, so we’re always happy to make the changes and freshen things up.�

The new deal with County has already increased the profile of Nottingham, says Ben Thompson: “It’s been brilliant - attendances are up by 75%. We want to build a good relationship with Notts County and eventually hope to use sponsors jointly.� Delaney concurs.

Following the recent defeat to Cornish Pirates, Delaney was delighted with the turnout. “A crowd of 1700 on an international day with an early kickoff�, he commented, “shows that we’re very well supported here, and so onward and upward�

notts about rugby by adam harwood and jenny smith When you read about sports stars who’ve made their way into the professional game having come through University, it’s usually via Loughborough, Bath or Oxbridge. However, Impact has tracked down one player looking to make it big in the future - Tom George, Nottingham Rugby Club’s No.8.

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Tom started playing for the Green and Whites this season, having been invited to join the team in their pre-season training by Nottingham’s captain Craig Hammond, who also coaches the Uni’s 1st XV. According to Operations Manager and player Ben Thompson, he’s “playing particularly well.â€? Described as “one for the futureâ€? by the official match-day magazine, he has since become a regular fixture on the team, taking part in team training sessions twice a week, as well as matches. Luckily, the club has been very supportive of his academic hopes: “The workload’s been high, but the coaches are really understanding and realise that academic stuff comes first‌It does

restrict the amount I can go out. I’ve not been drinking as much because I’ve not been able to.� Playing in National League Division One has also been something of a learning curve for Tom, as “the games are much faster, and mistakes are punished. A high level of fitness is [also] needed.�

Though he’s had to made sacrifices to get there, it looks like they are starting to pay off now he’s situated somewhere he can potentially achieve his ambition to play in the top flight.

Having recently signed a contract to groundshare Meadow Lane with Notts County football club, Nottingham Rugby Club’s fortunes are on the up. “The facilities are as good as any premiership stadium,� George insists, an opinion supported

by Thompson, who describes them as “second to none.� Thompson believes it’s only a matter of time before Nottingham are back competing against the big guns, which must be music to George’s ears. “We definitely have the potential,� says the full-back. “In the last year or two we’ve been laying the foundations and now everything’s moving forward. We’re building upon our success and are making a steady progression towards the top flight.�

However, the club didn’t have a great start to the season, winning just one of their first seven games. Recently though, they’ve turned things around with wins against Plymouth Albion and London Welsh. “There was a really good atmo-

The club is also keen to build upon the existing student fanbase, which makes up 8 to 10% of the crowd: “We want as many students as we can. There’s usually not much going on on a Sunday, and there’s less restrictions at matches than football, which makes it ideal for students to have a few beers and watch some rugby!�

win tickets to the rugga Nottingham Rugby are playing Otley on the 3rd of December at the home of Notts County Football Club, Meadow Lane, and they have a special ticket giveaway exclusively for Nottingham University students. The game will have a great student atmosphere, and what better way to spend an otherwise dull Sunday afternoon before term ends?

In order to receive your free ticket for the game all you need to do is email your name, address and phone number with the ‘Student Ticket Giveaway’ in the title to ben.thompson@nottinghamrugby.co.uk before December 1st.

another league by michael leyland Intra-mural football may be great for traditionalists who love nothing better than rolling around in the gunge of Grove Farm, but many students are instead turning to astroturf to cater for their weekly football fix. Situated next to the farm is a classier joint that goes by the

name of Powerleague, offering students the chance to strut their stuff, with the order of the day grazes rather than grass. Although a record number of students are taking part in Powerleague this year, pricey taxis make it a costly venture, and that coupled with the lack of referees is leading many to look elsewhere for their kicks.

That’s where Campus League comes in. The brainchild of University of Nottingham student Steven Jankowski, it offers an alternative for those who want to play a little closer to home.

For the same price as Powerleague, you can play within strolling distance at the Sports centre astro, with a referee keeping a firm lid on those tasty tackles. So why isn’t everyone turning to Campus League for its student soccer? While over 150 student teams take part in Powerleague on a Wednesday and Sunday, Campus League only operates for three hours on a Tuesday and can only accommodate 18 teams, which is why the current coordinator of Campus League, Ed Muhley, refers to it as an ‘alternative-to rather than a competitor-of Powerleague’. With Daryl Slater, the assistant manager of Powerleague Nottingham, revealing that next year they are set to unveil their new rubber crumb fifth generation pitches (as used by Real Madrid and Chelsea), Campus League will need to pick their game up or face being left in the sand.

society spotlight: jujitsu by ben grant The ancient, noble and gentle art of Ju-Jitsu may have departed the shores of Japan for pastures new centuries ago, but it may surprise many to find it thriving at a certain lager-fuelled uni in the East Midlands. Every Wednesday and Friday, around 50 dedicated Jitsuka partake in such moves as ippon seoi nagi, uki otoshi and kote dori.

Club President Calvin Stewart enthused to Impact about how, in a gun-ridden city, Ju-Jitsu promotes peaceful anarchy. “The great thing about Ju-Jitsu is that it’s really not about how big or strong you are�, commented Stewart. “It’s great to watch a 5’2� girl throwing 6’ tall guys all over the place!�

Not only does the Jitsu club teach its members more Japanese words than just kamikaze and sushi, it also takes part in national competitions and has in recent years performed admirably. Last year, the University were runnersup in the illustrious BUSA Jitsu Foundation Championships, second only to UCL’s throng of karaoke-loving fighters.

“It’s a brilliant way to keep fighting fit, generally followed by an awesome night out,“ Stewart summarised, “and it means that you can meet and train with people from all different backgrounds whilst being taught by some of the best instructors�. So check out the Jitsu club at www.notts-jitsu.co.uk. As the official Jitsu motto says, “Maximum Effect, Minimum Effort.�

sports personality of 2006

We’re approaching that time of year when the nation begins pondering who deserves to be crowned Sports Personality Of The Year. Impact’s Gemma Casey gives us her top tips for the title‌ “I’m going to lay down the gauntlet and place my money on Andy Murray. Despite not winning a major tournament, his rise up the world rankings has been phenomenal.

He has rocketed into the world’s top 20, having been outside the top 100 a year ago and along with Rafael Nadal, he is one of only two players to beat the mighty Roger Federer this year.

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An outsider might like to put some money on Shaun Murphy, snooker’s latest sensation. Although being even remotely sensational at something as brain-smashingly dull as snooker is easily forgotten, to come from 48th in the Championship to win it isn’t to be sniffed at.

Others are favouring Beth Tweddle, a young gymnast who claimed Britain’s first ever Gold medal at world competition standard. Let’s not discount Welsh cyclist Nicole Cooke, winner of the Grande Boucle, the women’s equivalent of the Tour de France. Predicting this year’s winner could be problematic, so go on, put your money on Murray!�

“oh my god, did i hurt you?�, “not really, but none of my limbs work�

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powerleague might be getting that sinking feeling

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inside the christian union words alice hutton, jessica elgot and charlotte north images dave eborall

Christians. They deal with a lot of shit from us heathens, I mean students. Sorry about that, think I was just channeling Second Corinthians Chapter 6 Verse 14: “Do not be yoked together with non–believers for what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? What harmony is there between Christ and Belial?�

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no faith in democracy:

In a University of 33,000 people, it’s bloody difficult to avoid a ‘non-believer’. Deal with it, right? Well no, not according to the Christian Union. With the introduction of the Code of Practice this year (the Students’ Union policy on governing the societies with which it is affiliated), steps have been taken to enforce the “equality, democracy and justice� it promotes. In fact, it’s in the very first line. The Code of Practice specifies the SU’s complete intolerance towards any form of religious, political, racial or gender based prejudice. Perhaps for reasons of political correctness, or merely through a lack of power, Impact has discovered huge inconsistencies within the Christian Union that have been overlooked by the SU. Firstly, the CU has failed to ever elect a female President, secondly it conducts ‘appointments’ not democratic elections and thirdly, it has ejected two female reps from the nine20 groups around campus. Impact asks: does The Code of Practice make any difference in the enforcement of the SU’s core values?

The 1976 Sex Discrimination Act made it unlawful to show prejudice against an individual on grounds of their gender. To date however, Nottingham’s Christian Union continues to refuse to be led by a woman. Brennan, with an interesting attempt at sophistry, claimed that “there is nothing in our constitution that says we cannot elect a female‌ there is no reason why there shouldn’t beâ€? but later added that “there are good reasons for [having] male-only Presidentsâ€? and that “for the demands of the role it is better to have a manâ€?. According to Brennan, the Bible teaches leadership as a male quality: Timothy Chapter 2 Verse 12: “I do not permit a woman to teach or to have authority over a man; she must be silentâ€?.

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With just over 300 voting members, the Christian Union is one of the most influential and vocal societies within the University of Nottingham. Its constitutional aim is “to make disciples of Jesus Christ in the student world for the glory of God�; it tries, explains CU President Paul Brennan, “to explain Christianity�. Societies Officer Emily Medhurst believes that the SU have been wary in the past about dictating to religious societies as “religion complicates things�. “In any situation...they have to make sure they’re not going to cause great offence to someone�.

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It appears that this decision was made for the sake of tolerance and inclusion, as the society does not wish to alienate those who would feel uncomfortable under the guidance of a woman. Although these views may appear at best misguided and outdated, Nottingham University Chaplain Ian Tarrant and Jewish Society President Daniel Lichman both find these views unsurprising in a religious context.

The Chaplains are there as religious advisors, although they are not employed by the University and are unable to do more than offer advice. Tarrant explains that he thinks the number of people that the CU would alienate through having a female President will decrease over the years, and mentions several other Christian organizations that have had female Presidents in the past, such as Christian Focus. He also notes that the Anglican Church does not have female bishops and that the Catholic Church has neither female bishops nor priests, but estimates their introduction at 20 years and 150 years respectively. He compares this task to the turning of an oil tanker: slowly and one step at a time.

Is this a good indication of how long Nottingham will have to wait for their first female President of the CU? Until a few years ago there were no Muslim or Jewish advisors. Lichman acknowledges: “We definitely have those issues in the Jewish Society.�

J-Soc, however, has responded to this issue differently; Lichman’s two predecessors were female and elected democratically.

is a far cry from the democratic process the word ‘elections’ implies in modern society: In their Presidential elections female candidates are suspiciously few and far between and there are no hustings, speeches or opportunities to independently stand. Again Brennan states biblical reasons:

Christian even. Brennan justifies his actions by claiming:

“The teaching on choosing leaders is not strictly democratic. We do not have elections.

That is not how leaders are chosen within the church. We try and conform‌to what the SU requires without compromising the Bible’s teaching, which I think we have done�.

He went on to say “it is forbidden for a Christian to go out with a non–Christian�. Even though he admits that, “from personal experience, I found it incredibly hard when I had a non–Christian girlfriend and it did really hinder my faith�. It appears that this relationship was prior to being elected onto the exec, when such an act, he argues, could have hindered his chances to be a good President. As it is, Brennan argues that a lot of thought went into the decision to dismiss two of their members:

“The exec suggest people for the roles and then individuals can vote�, although only if you have signed The Doctrinal Basis. This seems slightly redundant and alarmingly like totalitarianism. A member of the CU also helpfully pointed out that they believe that “God will put the people he wants on the exec�. But then again, they also told Impact that the last time

“The Bible gives three rules for the basis of marriage; they have to be of the opposite sex, they have to be Christian. And I can’t think of the third.�

“We talked to the UCCF (Universities and Colleges Christian Fellowship) before we made any decisions; we’ve spoken to the Church as well. We have consulted everyone. Well‌not the SU, no.â€?

“God will put the people he wants on the exec�

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The SU constitution states that all full members must be able to “participate in democratic decision making at all levels�. Sections 18.7 and 18.10 also note that “there should be at least one hustings�, that “all candidates should be given equal precedence at any hustings�. In order to be a voting member of the CU, students must sign ‘The Doctrinal Basis’, a 19th century document that originated in Oxbridge. It unifies all members under a specific set of guidelines, including faith that Jesus is your “personal saviour�, belief that the Bible is “the inspired word of God� and acceptance and support of the aims and decisions of the society. Their policy on elections

God spoke to them was on a Wednesday.

The SU claims to “oppose all forms of religious discrimination, including discrimination against atheists� (Section 42). This year two female hall reps from Ancaster and Rutland Hall were asked not to lead their nine20 group because they had non–Christian boyfriends.

This was considered inappropriate behaviour, despite neither being in a sexual relationship.

The nine20 groups, whose name derives from Luke, Chapter 9, Verse 20 (“But what about you?â€? [Jesus] asked. “Who do you say I am?â€?), are described on the CU website (http: //www.nucu.org) as “groups‌lead by second, third and fourth year students who prepare and lead studies based on themes and books in the Bibleâ€?. Both of the girls agreed to this decision and left willingly. Their polite and good-natured behaviour in regards to their dismissal, even when faced with living in a hall they are no longer allowed to lead, is far from immoral; it could be called respectful.

However, inconsistencies seem to be rife within this year’s CU Exec in comparison to last year, who chose not to dismiss a Newark Hall nine20 rep who was known to have had a relationship with a non-Christian.

Both the CU and SU Equal Opportunities Officer Matt Gayle claim that the SU is only able to act if there has been a complaint “from the bottom up� and that so far they have received none. However, although who made it and the nature of it are confidential, Emily Medhurst says that there has been one already that she is dealing with. But as it stands at the moment, it appears that the quickest way to be elected as CU President is to be male, and a favourite of the former exec.

The CU is not the only religious society affiliated with the Students’ Union that discriminates against women. It has been rumoured that Saudi Society attempted to ban any women from joining. It is, however, in the minority; Christian Focus, Catholic Soc, J Soc and The Graduate Christian Fellowship (with which Tarrant has a close relationship) have

19 Interested in learning more about the activities they offered, Impact attended a Friday afternoon talk in the Atrium entitled ‘Loneliness: the price for being a Christian’. It was much like an AA meeting - we even got lunch.

What struck us the most was the benevolence and openness with which we were received, despite being possibly three of the most frustrating and argumentative young women there. What was interesting was that although they appeared to welcome the chance to defend their faith and answer our probing questions (including ‘does God sounds like Woody Allen?’) they shied away from the ultimate test of faith; maintaining a relationship with a non-Christian.

really surprised about that? However, it may be worth considering the impact that disaffiliation has on societies with such impressive finances. Cocksoc, if anything, has grown since becoming disaffiliated and has the added bonus of not having to comply with any SU’s regulations. It can afford to buy a stall at Fresher’s Fayre, and has built up such a network of contacts across Nottingham it no longer needs anything the SU could offer.

There is some speculation as to whether disaffiliating the society the SU helped to create was the biggest favour the SU could have done them. The same may well apply to the Christian Union, who have vast financial backing from UCCF, and if disaffiliated, could impose any condition on membership that the SU Exec would be powerless to stop.

Crucially, the SU would be unable to prevent the further introduction of PURE, a Christian course across British Campuses that above

proportion [and that] Pure is a course which explores values and choices in relationships�.

The offensive material on the reading list was notably Christopher Keane’s book “What Some Of You Were�, which tells the stories of ‘ex-gays’ who have rejected homosexuality in accordance with Christianity. The book follows the story of Christopher, a “reformed homosexual� who states in the book:

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all had female leaders in the past. The J-Soc President, Daniel Lichman, notes that “there is recognition that [J-Soc] is representative of all people; Reform, Orthodox, Zionist, non-Zionist, and anyone can stand for a position�, adding: “When we said [that] we wanted to work with Interfaith, someone from the UJS (United Jewish Students) recommended that we don’t work with the CU because they evangelize and their aim is to convert. [Although] this is on a national level; I have no complaints about the Nottingham CU�.

“I shudder to think what may have happened to me if I had gone to a counsellor (or to a church) who had not upheld the Scriptures and had affirmed me in my homosexuality. If that had happened I may well have been dead from AIDS now.�

According to the UCCF website (www.uccf.org.uk), PURE has been here for two years, although not yet vocal. However, the PURE course has since been adapted after the controversy at Edinburgh and the offensive book removed from the reading list. It now aims to teach sex and relationships ‘God’s way’, but does not preach about whether this is necessarily the correct way.

“there are good reasons for [ having] male-only Presidents�

According to the SU Constitution, the penalty for failure to comply with its policy is potential disaffiliation. This was imposed upon Cocksoc (Cocktail Society, keep your hats on) for Health and Safety reasons in 2004, but who’s

“I feel so much more equipped now as to what the bible says and why. Pure is ACE!� Cat, Nottingham University (http: //www.uccf.org.uk/resources/general/pure/ index.php).

Goodbye LGBT, or perhaps more accurately, hello mass protests outside their office. Director of the UCCF, Rev Richard Cunningham, told the Daily Telegraph that the biggest struggle Christians faced at university was sex and relationships. He said the course was needed because students were given condoms during freshers’ week and taught biology at school (we’ll miss you, Easy Tiger!). Its pilot programme in Edinburgh caused outrage amongst the students, and sparked a Facebook group called ‘Stop Pure’ that currently has 1,692 members, although Tarrant believes that “the response in Edinburgh was out of

Impact is not here to make judgment about religion or question the validity of faith, and we do not intend to vilify or offend the CU. It is not religion that is coming into question; it is hierarchy. How far can we and should we extend our toleration, as a university whose motto is ‘a city built on wisdom’ (Sapientia Urbs Conditur), as a student body of 33,000 and as a society on a national level? On the other hand, how far can you validate passing judgment on a society if you are not a member? For non-members of the CU, it poses a wider question; is their disregard for equality, democracy and justice something that bothers you, even if you are not directly affected?

Impact welcomes debate on each side.

The transcript of Emily Medhurst’s meeting with the CU Exec regarding the issues discussed in this article can be found at www.impactnottingham.com.

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Previous attempts at enforcing change to the CU constitution have always been vetoed.

Emily Medhurst believes that “raising awareness of [these issues] in the University would be a good step towards potentially making a change�, but that currently, it is “a real problem�. Indeed, she was told by her predecessor that, “it isn’t tangible enough - they won’t say that they will never allow [a female President]�.

If this occurred, the SU would be forced to act because it would be “complete and utter gender discrimination�. Quite.

many other things, teaches that homosexuality can be cured:

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A Rolling Stone once said: “I don’t have a drug problem, I have a police problem�.

When it comes to drugs and the law, what’s legal and what’s not is only, chemically speaking, a matter of a thin blue line drawn between one molecule and the next. In real life the line is as thick as the prison wall and as long as the maximum punishable sentence. The classification system for illegal drugs has been made to be as simple as ABC but it’s about as useful for tackling drug abuse and its consequences as swotting flies with a harpoon. ‘Legal highs’, drugs that occupy the hazy expanse between alcohol and acid, beg the question: why are some drugs more illegal than others in the eyes of the government? You may have never heard of salvia or BZP but the rise in the number of users of these legal highs has caught the attention of several countries, with a gradual increase in countries where they are now illegal.

But before you buy/chew/snort/smoke/eat anything, the Impact guinea pigs have done the trips and nursed the headaches in the name of research.

legal highs

words helen cui images francesca moore and philip morton

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legal (?) highs (?)

The Experience Christmas came early when a little box containing a cornucopia of legal drugs arrived on my doorstep for review. Unlike the weed from round the corner, these drugs were glossily packaged with tempting slogans such as ‘mesmerising psychedelic effects.’ Dosage instructions and health warnings, if there were any, were printed in microscopic text.

These included the bizarre warning ‘Not fit for human consumption’. Unfazed by these glaringly inconspicuous warnings, we started off with the Soma Spliffs containing fly agaric – the type of magic mushroom that’s still legal. Drag after drag, feelings of expectancy were replaced by a bitter taste of compost on our tongues and nostrils filled with the smell of wet dog. ‘You feeling anything?’ ‘No, you?’ ‘Nope’. So that was a flaming waste of our time – thank god we didn’t get ripped off for more than ÂŁ2 a spliff.

We moved on to pills titled Majik and EFX, which contain BZP, a synthetic chemical that works like an amphetamine and has similar effects to ecstasy. We didn’t know when we’d start feeling the effects, so we all overdosed - one person had verbal diarrhoea till 9am the following morning. I was alive and kicking, laughing and talking like an idiot, but feeling like I was having an existential epiphany. I touched my friends in new exciting places for prolonged periods of time and touched myself a lot as well, feeling my own fantastic aura.

I now felt seriously drunk but really chuffed I had gotten this drunk without buying alcohol or needing the loo and I was power walking in

a dead straight line. I even shouted my head off in Jacksons and suggested someone next to me was a paedophile: ‘He looks like a sex offender – ask him if he sits in the park with a hole in his pocket’.

Salvia extract is meant to be smoked in a pipe or a bong and lit by a turbo flame lighter to get it to high enough temperatures. We crammed as much as possible into a pipe to gain an instantaneous and not unpleasant high. I felt nice and woozy, but unfortunately no terrifying nightmares of tumbling down Everest or being persecuted by wallpaper followed.

The tube full of brown powder labelled ‘15X Kratom’, a herbal speedball, looked promising.

Our schoolboy error was not to swot up beforehand on how to take it. It refused to light and turned into a volcanic tar-a-like syrup that blocked the entire pipe. We tried smoking, snorting, eating - everything short of shoving it up our arse, but to no avail. By this point I was well and truly out of it. The whole experience ended with me crying hysterically and eating Tabasco sauce on mouldy digestive biscuits whilst the guys, being 6ft rugby players, debated the merits of smooth vs chunky pate and were encouraging each other to ‘fucking get on the floor and dribble.’ Are they safe?

An obvious problem with researching recreational drug use is that the best science is doubtful when pinned on the word of a druggie and given the wildly different concentrations, preparation methods and the conditions in which they are taken. If you’re wasted, forgotten how many you’ve taken, and standing on top of a cliff, then it’s obviously more dangerous. In New Zealand, there has been a surge in emergency hospital admissions for BZP toxicity which include vomiting and seizures. It’s not known if BZP is lethal but considering the onset of effects can take as long as two hours, many people, like us, will be tempted to overdose. From our experience, the legal highs in the UK market are fairly tame and there’s no guarantee what strength of drug you’re getting in a product simply called ‘Exodus’ or ‘Soma Spliffs’.

Are they going to be legal for long?

So long as the public can buy ecstasy for a pound, and the government have bigger drug rings to fry, legal highs are not going to become a social menace and so remain low on the political agenda. If drug classification is based on criteria of physical harm, dependence and social harm; legal highs meet very few of them. The salvia and the kratom are comparable in effect to cannabis and ecstasy; and in terms of their health risks, evidence is inconclusive but they all appear non-addictive and very unlikely to be lethal. I may not have had the benefit of ‘shamanistic journeying’ on legal highs but they have made me pretty angry at the flagrant inconsistency and complacent impotency of the government when trying to protect and inform the public on the ‘relative harm’ of different drugs.

Prices are as quoted on www.redeyefrog.co.uk and www.salviaonline.co.uk

21

Kratom

This red mushroom with white spots is called fly agaric because it’s used in milk to attract flies. The flies become inebriated, crash into the walls and die.

Acts on the same opiate receptors in the brain as heroin and cocaine. Originally used as a recreational drug but also for diarrhoea and prolonging sexual intercourse.

Reported effects: Hallucinogen with effects lasting for several hours Downsides: Nausea, anxiety, lethal in very large doses We found: “The soma spliff smelt like burnt dog and tasted like fertilised soil plus it did nothing�.

Soma Spliffs ÂŁ7.99 for 3 spliffs

Reported effects: mild doses: euphoria, reduces fatigue. Strong doses: intense euphoria, hallucinogenic (experience of ‘closed-eye’ visuals). Effects begin within ten minutes and can last for 4-6 hours.

Downsides: sedative effects and hangover, could be addictive.

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Fly Agaric

We found: “I made a tea out of the brown powder, it cleared up someone’s headache, had no effect when we went out but smoked a joint later and started tripping my socks off. I forgot most of the words in the English language and for a while could only turn my head left. Weird and on the whole not that enjoyable as only by smoking a normal joint was it set off.�

Kratom 15x extract ÂŁ9.99

Available as: dried leaves; extracts, which are 5x to 15x in strength. Is smoked in a pipe or bong; and tinctures should be held in the mouth. The effects are commonly reported to be similar to magic mushrooms and “intense� and “instantaneous�.

Reported effects: from relaxation, altered perception and uncontrollable laughter to loss of co-ordination, hallucinations and total confusion. Effects last from 5 to 25 minutes.

Downsides: hallucinations can be frightening, very high doses can cause loss of conciousness.

We found: “Smoking the 5x extract in a pipe gives you an immediate ‘high’ but lasts less than a minute. Smoking the leaves is pointless. Tincture tasted foul but had more of a lasting effect, kind of a mellow feeling with body feeling all loose and floppy.�

Salvia Tincture ÂŁ4.99 for Salvia Tincture ÂŁ4.99 for 2.5ml Salvia Leaf ÂŁ12.50 for 28g / 1oz Salvia 5x extract ÂŁ12.50 for 1g

BZP Pills Created by a Kiwi junkie to help wean himself off heroin. Pills are labelled as containing benzylpiperazine (BZP) or piperazine.

Reported Effects: Relaxing, euphoric, dissociation, keeps you awake for an extra 8 hours.

Downsides: Hangovers, anxiety, dehydration, overheating, paranoia, large doses may cause life threatening seizures, abuse potential.

We found: “Takes up to 2 hours to get working but then you go on overdrive and stop feeling tired/drunk�. After-effects reported were “splitting headaches, shivering, loss of appetite for couple of days, nausea, vomiting, confusion the next day�.

Humma (200mg) ÂŁ8.99 for two pills Efx (100mg) ÂŁ9.99 for five pills

legal highs

Salvia

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The down side of the high

Impact reporter Charlotte North interviews a former cocaine addict How did it develop into a problem?

I just fell in love with it and I am the sort of person that always thinks they are in control, even when perhaps they are not. It was a year after I stopped doing it before I realised it was a problem.

My family were in dire shock, especially when it led to my expulsion from school. They were very naĂŻve to it and they never expected anything like that from me. My mum told me recently that my dad, who I am very close to and who I utterly

profit. £3000 a week is a lot of money to spend on group hugs and to talk about how you spilt orange juice on your mother’s purple dress when you were three. I never had counselling for it and when my partner was in there talking and having circle time and not allowed to drink juice because it has sugar in it which is mood altering, I was working off our debt. I don’t know which is more effective, but I know which is more productive. You shouldn’t replace one obsession with another. Obviously some people are more likely to succeed than others, but the majority of people who go into rehab fail. That’s a lot of money to spend on failing. If you want it enough, you can sort it out yourself.

ÅYou seek out anything to make it justifiable, but at the end of the day, you re just doing it to get high, which is absolutely patheticÆ Cocaine was always a drug that my friends and I said we would do, so we tried it one night when I was sixteen. Pretty soon we were doing it regularly and our tolerance went up. I had some friends with a lot of spare cash which they would spend on cocaine. It was difficult to refuse.

They came from drug families; doing it with their mothers, who would throw it down on the table and be like “There you go, kids. Have some fun.�

Why do you think it became so much of a problem?

I suppose it’s the same with self-harm or eating disorders; escapism. A way of hurting yourself that distracts you from the way you hurt already.

I was always the strong achiever who was not emotionally excessive like others in my family. I dealt with that pressure by going out and getting high.

adore and who adores me, took down every photo he had of me because I had broken his heart.

We [former addict and partner] ended up with a debt of ÂŁ2,000 which we had absolutely no way of paying. My partner had been put in rehab by her parents because they wanted her to be in a safe place. Her parents did not realise however that the dealer knew where she lived. If he wanted to harm us, he would just as easily have harmed our families. When I met him to give the little money I could, he was so insulted by the amount that he began shaking me. Then he smashed my face and broke my nose. There was a lot of blood. He was driving me to be officially beaten either as a warning or to get rid of me. I persuaded him to give me one more day. I called my best friend who was the one person at least still in my life.

Her mum offered me the money and although I refused, she pointed out that it was between that and death. I worked for her for three years to pay it off. I was promoted.

How bad did it get?

How has Nottingham changed your relationship with drugs?

My friends at Nottingham don’t do drugs, apart from maybe smoke pot or the occasional pill. Not having it around you all the time obviously means that you have to take the step of getting it, so it gives you more time to turn the coin over twice in your hand before you spend it. There was one girl who I became very close to and without ever saying a criticism, she made me feel that it was wrong to be doing it and really changed me quite a lot.

What do you think you would be doing if you were not at Nottingham?

If I wasn’t at Nottingham, I’d either be dead, doing petty crimes to get the next high or working an

When I met him to give the little money I could, he was so insulted by the amount that he smashed my face and broke my nose.

cocaine addict

I was doing between 8 and 10 grams a day. Things I did for drugs demonstrate how bad it was. At the time, you’re in a frame of mind where all you care about is having that next hit. Nothing else compares.

You do things you would never do in sober life to get that high. Drug dealers are intelligent people; they offer you free drugs because they know you will do anything for it.

They are businessmen that just happen to be selling something illegal. I managed to moralise fraud to myself, however amoral or immoral it was, because it was stealing from the rich. You seek out anything to make it justifiable, but at the end of the day, you’re just doing it to get high, which is absolutely pathetic.

What were the consequences of your cocaine problem to your own life and to that of your family?

What is your opinion of rehabilitation centres?

Obviously I have a personal axe to grind with the rehabilitation system, because it took someone I was in love with away from me. They used the AA’s twelve steps to enlightenment, which encourages severing links with those around you to be strong on your own. I remember the form upon which they based whether you were an addict; it asked ridiculous questions like “Have you ever had sex with someone you didn’t really want to?� I’m sorry but everyone is a sex addict by those standards. The thing that upsets me is the exploitation of people’s problems to make a

easy job to get enough of a wage to have a good weekend.

Aside from the accessibility, why do you think it has been possible to stop using?

Today, in the autumnal sunshine, it struck me how our campus is quintessential to what a campus should be. Even over a year later I am still grateful not just to be here on the planet, but to be at such a great university, studying what I love, and having friends that I wouldn’t have dreamed of. I wouldn’t throw that away for anything. I’ve got so much to live for now.

cocaine addict

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23

24 888 *NQBDUOPUUJOHIBN DPN

e WINSTON AND JOHN g a v a S The

Get Stoned words winston & john the savage ‘We were somewhere around Barstow on the edge of the desert when the drugs began to take hold.’ Hunter may have been there. I was on the hill outside the Portland building.

Passing Winston the spliff, he turned to me and said, “You don’t do heroin do you?�

That’s the paranoia kicking in, I think. “That’s the paranoia kicking in,� I tell him. “It’s just earlier,� he continued, “when you said to your

housemates we should meet up for coffee, I thought you meant take some skag.� ‘Christ’, I suddenly thought, ‘I’m sitting with a lunatic,’ all the while giving him a reassuring smile and pushing my imaginary needle further down into my pocket.

stoners

We’d agreed to meet at 8:45 the next morning for the premier spliff, and somehow I managed to wake an hour earlier, alarm-free. It only took half an hour to make it to the shower, dragging my lethargic body from the cocoon of my duvet. I made it to John’s house with a respectable minus 5 minutes to spare. The smoke was sickening, but John had to go to uni and I had to make it home for a nap‌ but how?

Wednesday. Wake and bake, whilst we listen to a sublime mix of Radiohead, Papa M and Mogwai. The occasional Dylan song epitomises what we are feeling. Music is phenomenal when you are stoned. Fact.

Undisputable fact. It envelopes you, it provides the soundtrack to your life. Somehow weed makes the appreciation of music a formality.

As soon as the smoke fills my lungs and the THCs touch my brain I am immediately sleepy and I can feel myself dropping off.

Gradually, gradually falling asleep. I awake to the lecturer’s face, five inches from mine and a sea of amused faces. Embarrassment is not an option. ‘Is my red-eye bad? Can he smell the Q of weed in my pocket?’

I had to rest. One face-down lie-down later and I was ready for the unavoidable walk to my lecture. Steps away from LASS, paranoia kicked in. What on earth was I going to say to her?

Would she clock on and realise I was a scruffy stoner? Today was going to be the day I made an effort, peer past my fringe, my metaphorical shyness, but no, I’m not in the state. Breathe. Just find a seat and sit in it. Don’t make eye contact with anyone, and you’ll be fine. “Heya!� she said cheerily. A single space separated us. Doh. Hey, how’s it going? Did you enjoy the bar crawl the other night?

Yeah, I wish. “Aulrite,� I mumbled, gruffly.

Oh, you daft bastard. Just look down and shut up,

Ah ha. A Thursday quiz. The nemesis of the persistent stoner. Memory recall, the mortal enemy. Sustained concentration impossible. “I’ve only ever wanked once when I was high,� blurts Winston, “I thought I broke it,� Silence..

Thought digestion. A quick glace around the group to check for reactions before we all break down in hysterics. “And the date of Lady Diana’s death?� asks the Question Master. Game over, a shameful score and the munchies biting like a bitch. The organiser offers us the remaining apple pies and a massive tin of Quality Street. I struggle to contain my jubilation much worse than Winston’s dazed nonchalance and contemplate just how much of the pie I could realistically eat. I decide upon five. Pies.

Pub quizzes have always been an Achilles’ Heel – I have a lot of random knowledge, but apparently that’s not the same as general knowledge. The one answer I offered was wrong, a shame as it was one of the few words that broke free from my newly-acquired mutism, a condition which rendered me a proverbial vegetable back at John’s house. I was in a highly social situation, the likes of which I usually thrive off when the attention is on me. I wanted it anywhere but me at this moment. Random faces, friends of friends – I didn’t fit in. I was mentally unable to construct any relevant sentence and physically unable to communicate the fragments – a state of mong that did little to combat the perception I was a quiet, messy stoner. “The Thomas Crown Affair, now that’s a good film.� I stare at him in disbelief. It must be the dope talking. “Oh, Rene Russo, I’d hit that.

I’m sure she’d fall for young stallion like me.� I contemplate the distant possibility this

actually happening, but seeing how set he seemed on it, I would be a heartless bastard to point out he’s an idiot. “But you’re no art thief,� I say weakly, quickly changing the debate into whether Winston believes that our existence could easily just be an electron of a single atom of a much greater universe and that likewise at our microscopic level a similar phenomenon might exist.

25 concentrating on catching at least three words you can then reverse into a question to keep the other side interested, drink with indifference, replacing your drink carefully on the table and finally smile and look as though you are enjoying yourself immensely despite getting hammered faster than a cheap whore.

I glanced briefly across at Winston, who, gripping his pint firmly in both hands, was brazenly flouting all these rules.

Chronic temporal confusion strikes. Is it truly Sunday already? What did we do yesterday?

Oh right; Stealth vs Rescue Rooms, or at least we meant to, but decided against Effort at the last minute. Standard. Everything becomes a mission when you’re high. Easy objectives, small victories. “Well done, John,� I tell myself.

I hear Winston muttering something behind me. “Well done, Winston.�

888 *NQBDUOPUUJOHIBN DPN

When Winston asked me the way home. I didn’t know, but vaguely gestured a left, then a right, immediately feeling guilty as soon as the door was closed. I prayed the nosey snout of a pig wouldn’t poke its head around my door the next morning, questioning me as to why Winston’s bruised and battered body, full of THCs, was found facedown outside Jacksons and the last place he was seen was here. The Fear had me. By 2am I seriously doubted whether I’d be seeing Winston again and had already packed a small holdall for all eventualities.

it’s the winning combination.

On Monday, I got a call from John expressing a lack of enthusiasm for getting stoned that day.

Kind of thankfully, it had hit him equally as hard.

All I could think of were the chocolate factory workers who are allowed to eat as much off the production line as they want, bosses safe in the knowledge they’d be sick of it after a day. We lasted a lot longer than a day, but Awesome is less so when prescribed.

By now I was exhausted. Exhausted from smoking, exhausted from lack of sleep, exhausted by this lifestyle. No excuses. It was my decision to stop early. I felt like Winston was with me in everything but heart, which was telling him, “Finish what you started.

Man up. Impact expects,� whereas as mine was saying, “Screw bloody Impact,� between the arrhythmic beats and build up of fatty deposits. I suggest the pub, where it all began.

Let’s get back to the good old days where the worlds problems are put to rights. Five pints later and we’re back at mine, skinning up. “Ever thought about invisibility, Winston?�

Friday, involved a trip to Ropewalk and the continual stoning only served to cement my voiceless state. I wondered whether it was his increased tolerance for the drug or the familiarity of our company that enabled John to look so alive. He looked the opposite of how I felt. I was sat next to his housemate J, a hilarious northerner whose wit was quickly outpacing my own. The voice in my head was increasing in volume to such a point that it was all I could do not to shout out right then and there, “SAY SOMETHING FUNNY!� When the alcohol took over from where the weed left off, I managed to crack out a couple – small achievements that meant the world at the time. Cannabis isn’t the substance for creating light entertainment among unfamiliar faces.

I love to smoke after drinking, but our “wake and bake� policy meant that I was drinking post-smoking, a situation I enjoy somewhat less. Ropewalk was the venue and I tried to maintain an aura of composure about myself despite slipping quickly into inebriation.

Certain rules for maintaining this aura are; make conversation, no matter how lame,

stoners

Our stoning week began Wednesday; trust a pair of stoners to be two days late to the party.

Okay, so it was going to be Wednesday, but after a few pints on Tuesday evening, John and I had more or less agreed on the nature of our political revolution, the saviour movement for a New World that would stand up against the rising tide of conservatism, trailblazing a path through the traditional left/right battlelines in the pursuit of personal freedom. Back at John’s to write the manifesto, we’re distracted by a spliff and play Tekken to the heroic sounds of John Williams.

Marshall Law’s dragon punch is deadly, but the Superman chorus drags Yoshimitsu from the last two pixels of life to deliver the fatal swordthrust. Before long the ashtray was full. “Um‌ which way is home?â€? The journey ahead of me seemed daunting, uncertainty warping the perceived marathon.

26 888 *NQBDUOPUUJOHIBN DPN

happy birthday demo: 2 years of partying for the planet Somewhere in the heart of Radford, something very special is going on. Outside a wall sprayed with graffiti stands a queue of people, chattering excitedly and bobbing up and down to the bass vibrations coming from the other side of a metal door.

Inside, a five pound note is exchanged for entry and a copy of Notes, the resident pamphlet giving info on the charities and organisations to which tonight’s profits will be donated, the global situation it relates to, and how this cause can be supported. Downstairs, a diminutive female singer holds the whole room captivated with her guitar and her voice; upstairs, a punk band fronted by a super-energetic Thai girl rocks out in the right hand room, whilst grimey breakbeat comes from the left; in a UV-lit connecting corridor people paint each other’s faces with fluorescent colours, and in the chill space a VJ projects visuals ranging from manga clips to protest footage to anti-capitalist slogans.

Welcome to Demo.

For most first-timers to the club, the impression is of having been let in on a secret. The number of clubs in Radford can be counted on one thumb - indeed, with the creativity, experience and musical contacts of the Demo crew, the night could easily be run in a big inner-city venue like Stealth, but talking to the team you realise that this is precisely the point. “It’s so important to keep Demo in Blueprint and keep it in Radford,� said Libby, former SU Environmental & Social Justice officer and one of the founders of Demo, “because at the moment the city centre is just soaking up money whilst there are still so many underdeveloped areas�. Lewis agrees: “Areas like Radford are very run down, and it’s almost because students are afraid to go out there. Students are very closed off in the way they live their lives and so the university is alienated from the rest of the community. Being in Radford you come into contact with the general community in a way that you don’t in Lenton�.

Indeed, part of the Demo magic seems to be a certain kind of synergy, a coming together

F>A3B 2>A8= 50854

of people and ideas. Many of the Demo team are involved in other projects ranging from the professional – Bored Beyond Belief run nights at the Happy Return, Linen Industries provide sound systems and engineering to many other Nottingham nights – to the personal – various members of the team have run art workshops for kids in Nottingham, theatre groups, other club nights and political projects as far afield as Eastern Europe and South America. More than this, new people are always getting involved, and it’s not unusual to see some of last month’s party-goers arriving at 5pm this time around to help decorate the club.

The same diversity is also represented in the music, as Lewis told us when explaining the policy. “The whole spectrum of the Nottingham scene is represented, from acoustic guitars to more indie bands to local hip hop like Capo to banging techno and psy trance. Basically it’s anything that people are influenced by and are enjoying at the moment�.

Maybe it’s this something-for-everyone approach that’s led to Demo’s rise from a handful of students’ idea to raise money for charity with a party, to being one of the top 5 must-go-to Nottingham nights (according to NME). But above all the experience is about much more than the party – the aim is to promote not just drunken dancing and good vibes, but awareness of some of the most pressing issues in the environmental and political sphere. Previous nights have been run along the themes of nuclear disarmament, refugees and immigration, climate change and protest against the arms trade, and thousands of pounds have been donated to charities around the world. The 2nd birthday party, on Friday 24th November, is themed around the 3 environmental R’s: Reduce, Re-use, Recycle, so expect to see lots of junkinspired art and outrageous decoration alongside an all-star line-up of some of the best bands from the past 2 years.

By all means go to Demo for the music, and go to Demo for the vibes, but most of all, go to Demo to see how much a group of people who share a dream can achieve.

demo

27 888 *NQBDUOPUUJOHIBN DPN words mister cee Almost four years ago, on New Years Eve 2003, I dropped my first ecstasy tablet at a legal drum’n’bass rave that I was too young to attend.

The events of that night and subsequent experiences with ecstasy have helped me understand both myself as a person and the way that humans relate to each other, and given the amount of negative coverage that ecstasy has received in the media, maybe it’s time someone put forward a case for some of its positive effects.

It’s a controversial position to take, and so I want to clarify my position. I am not advocating ecstasy; there’s a reason that it’s a class A drug – it has the capability to profoundly alter one’s state of mind, and people under its influence can be, to some extent, out of control. As the tragic but misrepresented story of Leah Betts shows, yes, ecstasy can kill.

What is seldom mentioned is that there are only around 30 ecstasy-related deaths per year, though surveys in Mixmag, the biggest

This is not an attempt to spark a debate over statistics or persuade anyone to use drugs.

It is simply a piece fuelled by the belief that people should make decisions informed not just by government scare campaigns, but also by the voices of those who have taken and enjoyed what - to me - has been a very special drug.

An hour and a half after taking that first pill I felt something I had never felt before, an emotion that was new not in its depth but in its scope.

Looking around me at a crowd of writhing, sweaty clubbers, there was an overwhelming sense of unity, the feeling that a bond had been formed between us all simply because we were together in that moment, and bound together by the music. I loved the people around me, all total strangers, simply for being human.

Those who have taken pills before will know this as being ‘loved up’, classic ecstasy euphoria. Those who haven’t taken it will think that it’s a totally artificial, chemically induced emotion, and in this they would be right. The experience is transient; as the drug wears off, the love wears off, euphoria fades into the inevitable comedown.

You can’t hold onto the buzz forever. But what you can hold on to is the memory. The knowledge that this capacity for such empathy is within every one of us – our brains are

already configured to produce and receive these chemicals, to feel these feelings – ecstasy is just a short-cut way to achieve this.

It also highlights the subconscious barriers that dominate our social interactions. Whenever we meet a new person, the way we act is affected by so many hang-ups about what we say and do, who we are, how we are perceived.

Whilst they may not last once back to reality, friendships are formed so quickly on ecstasy because these pretences are dropped. There’s no such thing as self-consciousness any more.

All the defensive walls you accumulate around you come down, and you show complete strangers what you’re really like underneath - someone asks you a question and for once, you tell them the absolute truth. You tell your friends your deepest problems and fears, and the more you share the better it feels. And from this you learn that instead of being a sign of weakness, exposing your vulnerabilities makes you far, far stronger.

Ecstasy is far from a perfect drug; for every up, there’s a down: the comedown the next day, the Tuesday Blues a few days later as hormone levels in your body readjust themselves, not to mention the other subjective and unpredictable effects that drugs can have on the psyche of any given individual. Personally, ecstasy has shown me another side to myself and to my life, but there is no guarantee that the experience will be the same for others. Anyone who does intend to use the drug should not do so without being fully aware of what they are doing, of the appropriate precautions to take and of the various risks they subject themselves to.

ecstacy

How ecstasy changed my life.

dance music magazine in the UK, suggest that 1.5 million people take the drug each weekend (the government estimates a third that amount), meaning it is statistically far safer than alcohol or tobacco.

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the veil uncovered words reem raoof

Ch no I’m fed up of Muslim stories in the media, and I know I’m not alone. I may be treading on thin ice here, but as an Arab and a Muslim I feel it’s necessary to clear up some widely misunderstood beliefs.

Why has Islam become such a focus in the media? The point that ought to be made has to do with the recent news headline regarding the suspension of a Muslim classroom assistant after she refused to remove her veil during lessons. It’s no surprise that the case generated heated debate; particularly after comments from the Prime Minister in full support of Mrs. Azmi’s suspension. Tony Blair said that to wear a full face veil was nothing more than a “mark of separation� making those “outside the community feel uncomfortable�. Phil Woolas, the government’s race minister, also accused her of “denying the right of children to a full education�. In defence of these accusations, Mrs. Azmi stated: “I will continue to uphold my religious beliefs and urge Muslims to engage in dialogue with the wider community, despite the attacks that are being made upon them�.

the veil row

But why is Islam at the centre of this debacle?

The niqab or face veil is NOT a religious requisite. It is only the practice of the hijab, or the covering of the hair, that is based on religious doctrine, which the Qur’an does not even mandate. Historically, only the wives of the prophet had to cover their faces. In Islam a woman is supposed to show her face. Moreover, the Qur’an says that during Hajj (Holy pilgrimage) and in prayer a woman MUST show her face even if she wears the

niqab in daily life.

The niqab is in fact a cultural concept which originated in the Gulf region, passed down from Bedouin traditions. During the old days, men and women traditionally covered their faces because of harsh desert climates and sandstorms. The niqab or burqa was also believed to offer protection against the ‘evileye’, a widespread, ancient belief found in Jewish, Islamic, Buddhist, Hindu and Christian cultures, which is prevalent today in the Mediterranean and Aegean. The niqab was therefore traditionally worn by women of extreme beauty as a means of protecting themselves from the envy of others.

To say that covering one’s face is part of being a Muslim woman is only a way for radical extremists to taint the religion of Islam.

Mrs. Azmi is not forced to wear the niqab for religious purposes and nowhere in the Qur’an does it suggest this; it even states that women may remove the hijab in front of children. Wearing the niqab is indeed a mark of separation and only leads to wider social problems.

Earlier this month in Egypt, President of Helwan University, Abdel-Hai Ebeid, banned students staying at the university’s hostel from wearing the niqab for ‘security reasons’.

Ebeid argued that he is “protecting the students against any man who might slip into the hostel under the veil of the niqab�.

Egypt’s religion minister said: “The niqab is not a religious object‌nor is the niqab a duty deriving from the Shariaâ€?. The religious affairs minister, Mohammed Hamdi Zarzouq, added:

“I know I will be criticised for my words, but I think some Muslims are committing a fundamental error, focusing on external and superficial aspects, without exploring more relevant themes, and hence providing a distorted image of Islam‌The Sharia requires that women cover their heads but not that they hide behind a mantle which makes them unrecognisableâ€?.

The point of my article is not to argue whether or not wearing the niqab should be allowed as in such cases ‘freedom of choice’ almost always prevails. I only want to stress that society and the media in particular should stop putting Islam at the centre of every negative issue. Mounting news stories of radical extremists using Islam as a justification for terrorism is bad enough, so there’s certainly no need for fanatical women claiming the niqab is another of their religious duties.

Furthermore, why is the media feeding these fanatics with publicity? Good Muslims know that the Qur’an requires its followers to respect the laws and customs of the country they live in; if it’s not suitable then they should leave. Islam is a religion of love and tolerance but sadly many Muslims don’t realise this.

Let’s put aside religion for once and start focusing on cultural barriers that are forever dividing social communities. Islam has fast become an easy target to blame for the escalating ‘cultural’ divides of our society, but by publicising such behaviour, all the media does is pave the way for continuing radical extremism.

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Chivalry is dead, Sexism is not.

hivalry is dead, Sexism i not Chivalry is dead, Sex here is an idea, all too popular amongst students and the general public alike, that inequality between men and women is no longer a serious issue. The traditional roles of men and women in society are alluded to jokingly, sometimes appreciatively and nearly always in a light hearted manner.

These roles are never challenged in the mainstream media despite the fact that biological determinism has been discredited by numerous progressive scientists. For those unfamiliar with the findings I will summarise them: it is true that men and women have different reproductive organs; it is not true that women are genetically suited to the position of subordination that they currently hold worldwide. To put it crudely, there is no gene that makes women predisposed to be good at cooking and doing the housework - domesticity is something that women have been historically socialised into because it has been very convenient for men. This socialisation has been constructed, and yet the media consistently represent our roles as if they are natural, unchallengeable and unchangeable.

There are numerous television adverts, films and magazine articles that I find to be openly sexist and a reaffirmation that attitudes towards women haven’t really changed. “Don’t be so sensitive� I am told, “don’t read so much into it� I am advised, “it’s meant to be funny!�.

After all, a lot has changed since those days, a lot has changed since the days in which women were second class citizens. Women can vote now, they can go out to work if they want, and they are seen as equal in the eyes of the law. This is all true and it’s an argument

we are all very familiar with. In the name of objectivity, allow me to run through some less well known, rarely mentioned, not so popular facts about women’s position in society According to The Independent newspaper, women in the European Union comprise 3% of chief executives of major companies. Women still earn 17% less than men for doing the same job. The lifetime earnings of women who work in the UK finance sector are ÂŁ970,000 less than the lifetime earnings of men in the same field. Women can work, but they don’t get paid equal wages and the ‘glass ceiling’ means that they don’t have equal access to managerial, authoritative and highly paid posts.

The pay gap is a concern for all women who work, but the most disturbing and brutal evidence of sexism today is the huge issue of violence against women. Amnesty International’s Stop Violence Against Women campaign has been extended in recognition of the vast, universal nature of the problem.

Amnesty International publicise the findings, based on fifty countries around the world, that “at least one out of every three women has been beaten, coerced into sex, or otherwise abused in her lifetime�, and these shocking statistics on crimes against women do not only exist in far-flung corners of the globe: in the UK the conviction rate for rape is so low that 95% of rapes do not end in a conviction. The charity Refuge reports that an upsettingly high number of young men see rape as acceptable.

The New Internationalist magazine informs us that one in five women have been raped. The Zero Tolerance Charitable Trust found that one in two young men questioned thought hitting a woman was acceptable in certain circumstances, for example “if she nags�.

In the USA a woman is beaten every fifteen seconds.

The normalisation of violence against women is dangerous. In this country alone, two women per week are murdered in cases of domestic violence.

In other countries, in Pakistan for example where the number of honour killings is still rising, the figures on domestic violence are considerably higher. The UN has described violence against women as the one of the biggest human rights violations in the world.

Forgive me for not seeing the funny side of all of this. People who wish to ignore these issues can dismiss me as an “angry feminist�. It is easier for them to act as if none of this is really happening, as if there is something wrong with people like me for mentioning it. It is more convenient to believe that I am not recognising and challenging social injustices, that they don’t even exist anymore, that all I am doing is “over analysing everything�. I may well be.

The question I keep asking myself is, why isn’t everybody else?

As students we are facing a crucial decision.

It is, unfortunately, a decision that most of the student populace will make subconsciously.

These are decisions that will affect us for the rest of our lives. As the future generation of doctors, lawyers, teachers, scientists, linguists, politicians and business men/women, we are in a position where our choices can make a direct impact of the future of this country. We can decide that ignorance is bliss and indifference is preferable to awareness. Or we can decide to make the choice to challenge inequality and injustice and to fight for an improvement in society for its inhabitants. As I’m sure you can tell, I’ve made my decision already. Have you?

sexism

T

words sofia mason

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> grapevine clubs and societies

dates:

november// friday 24st • Demo’s Second Birthday Venue: Blueprint Time 9pm - 2am • From Parchment to Pixels Exhibition Venue: Lakeside Time: Normal opening hours. Runs until 9th March • Excess Exhibition Venue: Angel Row Gallery (above Shakespeare Street Library) Time: Runs until 13th January

saturday 25th • Firefly feat. John Acquaviva and James Lavelle Venue: Marcus Garvey Ballroom Time: 10pm - 6am • Volunteer work at Sherwood Forest Organisation: Conservation Society Time: 10am - 3.30pm

wednesday 25th • Vera Drake followed by discussion Group: Women’s Campaign Time: 3pm • 500 Years Later Group: Environment & Social Justice Time: 7pm • Trip to Millennium Dome Group: Women in Engineering (WEng Soc) Time: Afternoon • £10 Poker Tournament @ Gala Organisation: Poker Society Date: Saturday 25th of November, 2006

sunday 26th

• St. Petersburg Ballet Venue: Royal Concert Hall Time: 7.30pm. Runs until 2nd December

wednesday 29th • G&S Fairytale Fundraising Day Organisation: Gilbert & Sullivan Society Venue: Portland Building Time: 12 pm - 2pm • STARS Managing your Meetings Organisation: STARS Venue: Training Room, Portland Building Time: 12 - 2pm

thursday 30th • STARS Development Planning Organisation: STARS Venue: Training Room, Portland Building Time: 5 - 7pm • Futureproof feat. Vex’d Venue: Blueprint • Jack Daniels Battle of the Bands Final Venue: The Ark Time: 8pm

significant

• One Night Stand Organisation: Nottingham Cheerleading Squad Venue: Kudos Time: 9.30pm

december//

november//

monday 27th

• Yorkshire Trip 2 Organisation: Caving Society Location: North Yorkshire Time: Friday night - Sunday night

dates:

tuesday 28th • Funny Farm @ Sutton Bonnington

wednesday 29th • G&S Fundraising Day @ Portland Building

thursday 30th • JD Battle of the Bands Final @ The Ark

december// saturday 2nd • Lifesaving Competition @ Sports Centre

grapevine

thursday 7th • Funny Farm @ The Ark

sunday 10th • Carol Service @ Sports Centre

• History Society Booze Cruise Organisation: History Soc Venue: 7pm in the Ark, 7.15pm at the Old Peacock • Christianity Explored Organisation: Christian Union Venue: Portland B6 Time: 7.30 - 9pm

tuesday 28th • Weekly Amnesty Meeting Organisation: Amnesty Venue: A23 Time: 1 - 2pm • Free Lunchtime Concert with Collegium Musicum Organisation: Mussoc Venue: Djanogly Recital Hall, Music Department Time: 1.15pm

friday 1st

• Why doesn’t God make himself more obvious?

Organisation: Christian Union Venue: Portland Atrium Time: 1 - 2pm • Free Lunchtime Concert: George Gershwin Organisation: Mussoc Venue: Djanogly Recital Hall, Music Department Time: 1.15pm • Birmingham Clothes Show Trip Organisation: Fashion Society Location: Birmingham Time: 10am - 5pm

saturday 2nd • Nottingham Lifesaving Competition Organisation: Lifesaving Venue: University pool and sports centre Time: 11am - 6.30pm

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monday 4th • Christianity Explored Organisation: Christian Union Venue: Portland B6 Time: 7.30 - 9pm • Religion and Conflict Organisation: Speak Venue: The Atrium, Portland Building Time: 7.30 - 8.30 • ‘Call To Arms: A Site of Militarised Capitalism’ Organisation: Environment & Social Justice Time: 4.30 - 6pm Venue: University Staff Club, Delta Suite • Course Reps Induction Venue: Training Room, Portland Building Time: 12 - 2pm

tuesday 5th • Life Drawing Venue: A29 Portland Building Time: 7pm - 9pm • Free Lunchtime Concert with String Orchestra Organisation: Mussoc Location: Djanogly Recital Hall, Music Department Time: 1.15pm • STARS Involving and Motivating your Members Organisation: STARS Venue: Training Room, Portland Building Time: 5 - 7pm

wednesday 6th • Morocco and Prague Hitch Meeting Venue: C11 Portland Building Time: 7.30pm

thursday 7th • ‘Jesus: dead or alive?’ Organisation: Christian Union Location: Portland Atrium Time: 1 - 2pm • Course Reps Induction Location: Training Room, Portland Building Time: 5 - 7pm

• Placebo Venue: Nottingham Arena Time: 7.30pm

• Status Quo Venue: Nottingham Arena Time: 7.30pm

friday 8th

wednesday 13th

• MPS Christmas Meal Weekend Organisation: “MPS (The Munro Pineapple Society) Location: Hathersage Time: 6pm • Free Lunchtime Concert with Contempo Organisation: Mussoc Venue: Djanogly Recital Hall, Music Department Time: 1.15pm • STARS Development Planning Organisation: STARS Venue: Training Room, Portland Building Time: 12 - 2pm • Revival Gospel Choir Christmas Concert Organisation: Revival Gospel Choir Venue: Trent Building

sunday 10th • Fundango - Mini Juggling Convention Organisation: Juggle Soc Venue: Ballroom in Portland Building Time: 2pm - 10pm • Carol Service Organisation: Christian Union Venue: Sports Centre • SKA IS DEAD UK TOUR! (Punksoc Xmas Party!)

Organisation: Punksoc Venue: Junktion 7 Time: 7pm • Musicality Society Christmas Cabaret Organisation: Musicality Soc Venue: Tantra Time: 8pm

tuesday 12th • Life Drawing Venue: A29 Portland Building Time: 7pm - 9pm • Free Lunchtime Concert; Piano and Violin Organisation: Mussoc Venue: Djanogly Recital Hall, Music Department Time: 1.15pm

• STARS Bronze Handover training Organisation: STARS Venue: Training Room, Portland Building Time: 12 - 2pm

friday 15th • Christmas Trip Organisation: Caving Soc Location: The Peak District Time: Friday night - Sunday night • Free Lunchtime Concert; Piano Organisation: Mussoc Venue: Djanogly Recital Hall, Music Department Time: 1.15pm

ents: mondays// oceana

• In advance — £3 • Before 11pm — £3 • After 11pm — £4

wednesdays// isis

• In advance — £3 • On the door — £4

fridays//

fresh @ the ark

• Before 9pm — Free • 9 - 10pm — £1 • After 10pm — £3

the zone @ ocean • In advance — £3 • On the door — £4

saturdays// flirt @ the ark • Before 9pm — Free • 9 - 10pm — £1 • After 10pm — £3

grapevine

• WEng Soc Christmas Shopping Trip to London Organisation: Women in Engineering Venue: Broadmarsh Bus Station Time: 8.15am

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All the details for all the events can be found on the Students’ Union website www.su.nottingham.ac.uk

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words matt lawrence images elinor harris

criminal vices Drugs and students, much like The Hoff and Germany, are inextricably linked. Unfortunately, whereas the Germanic love of the Knightriding, surf-pounding icon is another example of their famed sense of humour, students’ love of drugs results in a far less amusing outcome.

Crime, though something we seemingly only fall victim to as students, is something we unknowingly cause. It sounds absurd, and yet what follows suggests why.

The logic is certainly uncomfortably simple. Students support the drug industry by increasing demand over and above what it would be without us. An increase in demand for a product, as all our economists will know, increases the supply of the product.

The product in this case is illegal drugs. As a consequence, drug dealers and the social breakdown which occurs with an increase in drugs, have swamped Nottingham – student demand has helped contribute to an unprecedented availability of drugs in the city, perhaps one reason why out of a population of 280,000, there are 4000 crack addicts in

Nottingham (in terms of numbers, that means almost everyone you saw in Freshers’ Week. A fair few then.).

Of course, the vast majority of students are only involved in ‘soft drugs’, if any at all, but the facts suggest an implicit relationship between crime and student drug demand in Nottingham and according to the Nottinghamshire Police, ‘there is little doubt that drug use and crime are statistically correlated.’ During academic breaks, there is a 17% drop in drug related arrests showing that we help to support the drug industry and its attendant miseries.

On almost all national indicators, although we are improving, Nottingham is above trend for crime rates (although ironically, ‘Shottingham’s’ infamous gun crime is no worse than most urban areas). As the Home Office says, ‘there is clear evidence that as drug use increases, involvement in criminal behaviour tends to increase.’ This does not mean that students themselves perpetrate the crime, but by our very support of the industry in pursuit of enjoyment, students often unwittingly help to create an environment in which crime prospers.

Nottingham’s notoriety as ‘assassination city,’ due to gun crime reflects an important part of the issue of drugs, crime and the notion of legality. The human tragedy behind gun violence often masks another problem, with violence almost exclusively a result of ‘turf wars’; 59% of gun violence from 1997

to 2003 was attributed in some form to the drugs business. The illegality of drugs means violence is often the only means of enforcing ‘property rights’ over their area of trade and the very illegality of drugs causes crime in the first place. Who knows if someone may have been injured or even killed for the right to supply drugs in Lenton or Beeston?

There is certainly a strong argument to suggest that it is the illegality of the drugs in the first place that causes crime, and that legalisation would dramatically reduce crime.

Yet regardless of the legalisation arguments, for good or bad, drugs are illegal at present. In buying them, normally in the harmless pursuit of enjoyment, it reflects back on often the most disadvantaged communities, and causes real harm. Of course some people, including students will always buy drugs regardless, but to disregard the consequences for others is both short-sighted and self-interested.

Yet despite all this, the myths of university life, awash with alcohol, drugs and sex, are often that: myths (usually discovered when first meeting your reclusive, T-total, Scientologist enthusiast of a hall neighbour). Drugs are a part of student life, but often only a minor part, hence our role in crime creation is necessarily limited by that. And as for the other two, well we must have some vices‌ But to conclude, I would like to take us back to where we began: the Hoff. Like him, drugs will always be there, no matter how much you like or dislike them, and for the most part, for those who take them, they are most definitely a ‘like’. And yet, just as for every successfully resurgent nineties relic, there is an unfortunate Noel ‘the House Party’ Edmonds revival, so for

crime

Freshers: wake up. Finalists: get busy.

The word in the real world is: getting the job you want now is like finding a scrap of dignity in the winter morning walk of shame (swamped in a jumper that is longer than your miniskirt so you actually look naked and with mystery mayonnaise in your hair) – the forces are against you.

Having happily lived a life of unapologetic procrastination, I was shocked to the core of my being after a talk called ‘Making sense of your career – invest in yourself.’ Less of an advisory talk and more of a thou-shalt-put-the-fear-of-god-intoyour-soul hell raiser, I realised that simply passing my degree and keeping my brain cells in my brain was not enough ammunition in an unforgiving, Darwinian world.

This sermon included those horrifying words: ‘network’, ‘proactive’ and ‘nonacademic achievements’. The upbeat take-home message was ‘the person next to you is your competition – be better than them’.

being successful is less about having a ‘winning CV’ and more about the 3 Cs: Connections, Counter-intelligence and Carrying-it-off. In other words, old boys’ networks and important relatives can open a lot of back doors; knowing more about the competition than they know about you; and being able carry off flirting with your boss whilst tearing his heart strings with stories of your underprivileged past (see Michelle Dewberry of ‘The Apprentice’ infamy for pointers). For example, you apply for a job at No. 10, rope in a little help from your old Etonian boyfriends and then pull off convincing the entire nation you’re not a confabulating toffer in red underwear. Therefore, I suggest the faculty that future talks should be on ‘Blagger’s Guide to Becoming Your Ideal CV’ and not ‘How to be a know-it-all who gets ahead by rubbing up against important geriatrics’.

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impact’s columnist helen cui talks about life, the universe, and the ‘j’ word...

As a careers advisor once rather stupidly asked, ‘And what kind of job security do you think comes with being a fluffer?’

I turned round to give a ‘yeah, right’ look at my friend but in reality, we were sharpening our knives under the table for the postgraduation face off. Looking at the kind of people who have offshore tax havens and eat a lot of overpriced raw fish, it doesn’t take a non-art student to figure out that

lecture notes

all the enjoyment drugs bring to some, there is the ensuing misery for others. So the next time the issue of drugs, crime and students (or even the issue of terminal daytime TV) occurs, remember that for every Hoff, there has to be an Edmonds. And I’m sure we can agree that no one wants that!

lecture notes

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Hitchhiking. Once a popular form of transport for travelers following the hippy trail, it’s now surrounded by an air of doubt and pessimism. However, I took the challenge to thumb my way to the depths of the dark continent. We were taking part in a sponsored charity hitchhike organised by Link Community Development (LCD) to help disadvantaged people in Africa by improving their quality of education and training. The Morocco Hitch is one of their fundraising events and in the last 14 years, over 2,500 people have thumbed their way to a cheap holiday.

So there we were sitting in the car park, feebly waving our banner that had our first destination painted on it: ‘Portsmouth - charity hitch’. It just so happened that our arrival coincided with the breakfast stop for a convoy of army trucks. Thrilled by the idea of so many men in uniform we sidled up to them and scooped a lift straight away. A fantastic start. Two more lifts saw us in Portsmouth port at 11am. Hurrah! However, due to lack of planning, we discovered that the next ferry would only be leaving at 3pm. We were not thrilled. Still, whilst we waited, we were joined by hoards of hitchers also on their maiden voyages; thus began the domination of Morocco Hitchers sprawling across Europe.

We ended our first day, pitched up on a small patch of grass in a service station about two hours south of Le Havre. Cold and not

quite so enthusiastic anymore, we consoled ourselves with the fact that this was all FREE: indisputably top of the list of a student’s favourite words.

The next day, out came banner No.2: ‘La Sud de la France’, and out went the thumbs. We started shakily with a lift from an Irish truck driver whose tales consisted of why he smelt, and the countless women all over Europe he had left heart-broken. When he put on some 80s rave music, exclaiming ‘I still know how to party!’ we swiftly exited. He was the start of a long line of drivers who thrived upon having an audience to listen to their life stories. Some tales were exciting, some dull, and some rather sad, like his.

The rest of the day was a grand success and we struck pure gold somewhere in middle France when we asked (in our very best Franglais) a young couple where they were going. This couple showed the utmost generosity. Not only did they drive us in exactly the direction we needed to go, they took us to the beach, and let us stay in their idyllic provincial French house. They fuelled us with home cooking, taught us some basic Spanish to aid the next part of our journey, and the following day drove us in their vintage Triumph to Bilbao, northern Spain. Score.

The next morning nothing could stop us, and we got ourselves a lift with the first driver we

asked and found ourselves very quickly in Cordoba. There, we encountered yet another extremely generous man who was driving home to Sevilla. We mentioned that we needed to go south, and bargained 250km to Marbella in return for some ad hoc English lessons on the journey. We were staggered by his offer and have since developed a friendship with him, which we have retained since returning home.

A quick lift to Algeciras and we had arrived at the ferry port to Tangier, Morocco. Four days, seventeen lifts. The new cheap flights to Marrakech provide a cheap and quick transport, but why fly over when you can have as much fun traveling to your destination as you do when you are there. Hitchhiking is still a viable form of transport. It just takes a bit longer, that’s all.

Anna Dubuis

> have you got the itch to hitch?

If you’re interested, you can register online at www.lcd.org.uk/events/hitch or email any questions to nottinghamhitch@googlemail.com.

There will also be a meeting at 7:30pm on Wednesday 6th December, in room C11, Portland Building for all those interested in hitch-hiking to Morocco or Prague this Easter.

travel

Things to do Try the spice market deep in the heart of Luxor for an authentic shopping experience.

Otherwise, take a lazy felluca ride down the Nile to Banana Island, where fruit is free, walks are beautiful and a charming man named Mr. Lovely works in a shop called Asda. If you’re the adventurous type, a camel ride through villages and plantations on the other side of the river is a great way to spend a sunny

morning (as long as you don’t mind your tour guide being under 5yrs).

virtually guaranteed.

Health Issues

How long to stay If you’re happy to have a hectic schedule, a few days is plenty to soak up the atmosphere and see loads. The locals are friendly and chatty, and will provide you with lots of info about the best places to see. Careful with the persuasive and pushy salesmen though!

Climate It is incredibly humid during spring and summer, so if you plan to visit at this time try to avoid the strongest sun between 12 and 3 wherever possible. Full-day sunshine is

You may require injections to protect against diseases; it’s always worth a quick trip to the doctors before your trip to make sure you have it covered. Rabies is especially painful. A rookie mistake.

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Luxor is best known as home to the Valley of the Kings, but don’t think for a second that irritating street sellers and tour guides characterise the whole of Eygpt; there is much more to be discovered, and anyone who loves experiencing new cultures will fall in love with this city.

35

/ > Backpacker’s Pick: Egypt

What to take Shades, sun cream and a floppy hat are the ultimate must-have items! Also a decent camera to capture some amazing pictures.

Hollie Stephens

> The Grand Tour : Birmingham

Daytime If the train fare to London is beyond your budget, fear not, Birmingham’s council clock tower is the Midland’s answer to Big Ben, and along Broad Street there is an interesting attempt at a mini London Eye! The city is abundant in art galleries, theatres, museums and exhibitions, such as the NEC. Check out www.beinbirmingham.com to find out what’s going on. Brum is infamous for The Bullring, a £500 million shopping centre iconisized by its fascia of thousands of silver balls. Inside there is every high street store available. The Mailbox comprises many designer shops, but if you have the

energy for a good rummage and perhaps a little wrestling, The Custard Factory contains a flea market hiding vintage gems in abundance.

Eating Birmingham’s mass cultural diversity is evident from the myriad of international restaurants. Head to the Chinese Quarter for Oriental food, or alternatively there’s a plethora of Indian restaurants scattered all over. The best of the bunch is the Sundarban Restaurant; a student hearsay informed me that the outstandingly forgettable Liberty X apparently ordered curries from there to be flown out to wherever they were in the world‌(you know: Sheffield, Bath, the usual).

To the drink Once again, there is something to suit all taste buds. Hop your way along the innumerable bars on Broad Street or if your pocket is heavier, the Arcadian offers a more up-market option. Various super

clubs such as Air and The Sanctuary feature nights ranging from hard house raves to hard–core cheese. By night, The Custard Factory transforms itself into a quirky club churning out an eclectic range of sounds. And last, but definitely not least, groove it out at The Jamhouse, Jules Holland’s intimate jazz club. Keep it Brum.

Anna Dubuis

travel

Just a couple of hours south from us lies a vast city consisting of more miles of canal than Venice. Intrigued and fascinated? Without further ado, iiit’s‌ Birmingham. Taking the bus or train, it is quick and easy to reach for a weekend road trip. In case you’re put off by its diversity of attractions, we’ve abridged them for you.

37 Dress - Oxfam Originals, ÂŁ20

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images katie hodgkiss & natalie dale | styling katie hodgkiss & natalie dale | models eva lacey & nick hook

fashion

new knits

aran knit sweater - gladrags slip(ÂŁ45) - warehouse boots(ÂŁ35) - vintage

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grey sweater-vest - gladrags white cotton shirt - gladrags scarf - model’s own

diamond knit sweater - gladrags tweed jacket - gladrags

grey wool legwarmers (ÂŁ8) - topshop chequered jacket (ÂŁ25) - oxfam originals black poloneck jumper-dress (ÂŁ15) - oxfam originals lesbos t-shirt - gladrags chunky knit cardigan - gladrags

fashion

arran-knit jumper - gladrags duffel coat with hood(ÂŁ25) - oxfam originals high-waisted pinstripe trousers(ÂŁ10) - primark

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Checked Bow Coat - Topshop, £75 Dress (Just Visible) - Topshop, £55 Jewellery - Model’s Own

fashion

tartan scarf (ÂŁ5) - oxfam originals

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Suit - James Bell Menswear, rent from £60 grey jumper-dress (£12) - primark Shirt & Tie - Model’s Own - Oxfam Originals, £20 tights(£5) -Dress marks and spencers Ring - Accessorize, £6

white cotton shirt - gladrags blue wool sweater-vest - gladrags wool-chequered trousers - gladrags

beauty: candy shop alison shaw

With the recent release of Sofia Coppola’s decadent Marie Antoinette, it’s the perfect time to bring a touch of Revolutionary France onto campus. Thankfully I’m not talking guillotines; no blood-red lips will feature here. Rather, think romance, fun, sweets, cakes, and all things delicious.

Take inspiration from la reine de France - rebel against the gloomy winter shades and experiment with make-up that looks good enough to eat‌ To recreate eighteenth-century court glamour for Autumn 2006, forget the wigs and white face powder; and instead aim for a fresh dewy complexion and studentfriendly just ‘rolled out of bed’ hair.

Face: First camouflage those dark circles and imperfections by using Anticerne Pour Petits Matins light diffusing concealer, followed by a sheer foundation, such as Happy Light Illuminating Fluid Foundation, both by Bourjois.

fashion

Cheeks: For a flushed, healthy glow use Benefit’s powder blush in Dandelion or

Georgia. This will add life to pale winter skin, giving it a healthy glow.

Eyes: To work those pretty eyes, a soft wash of shimmer in lilac, soft grey or golds and bronzes will produce the best results; the Bourjois Little Round Pot Eyeshadow range is perfect, or check out Barry M’s Dazzle Dust. Remember to keep it subtle with just a sweep of colour and avoid metallics as they can have a garish effect. Finish with plenty of mascara using Maybelline’s Volume Express to open up your eyes. Try using brown mascara as this creates a more natural finish than heavy black.

Lips: Avoid looking sickly rather than sweet by using pink shades sparingly.

Steer clear of pink on the eyes and instead use it on the lips. Steer clear of pearlised, sugary matte shades; warm peachy-pink tones look much better on well-buffed and glossy lips, or if you prefer, play down your eyes with a more neutral hint of beigemink brown and max up your pout in a darker cherry pink. Try Stila’s Lip Glaze in Pumpkin Spice, or Papaya.

Whilst Marie Antoinette’s hair took hours to construct, we can take a more laidback approach; think messy buns and rough chignons with loose tendrils of hair

for added sex appeal. If you wish, accessorise with a slim alice band or a pretty grip, but leave the feathers back in the 18th century or risk looking like a Vegas showgirl.

Don’t attempt to pair this girly look with this season’s trend for sharp lines. Think less urban warrior and more opulent drama, with romantic chiffon dresses and rich fabrics with lavish gold embroidery. Avoid looking twee by opting for long, multiple strings of pearls rather than dainty pieces.

If you prefer to take inspiration from this season’s androgynous look, pair your perfectly polished face with classic tailoring.

A crisp white shirt is a classic look that will work on anyone; dress it up with oversized jewellery to recreate the luxuries look of the imperial court.

41 888 *NQBDUOPUUJOHIBN DPN words by robin e marsden

‌lapland Some people refuse to believe this university exists. It barely does. Located in Rovaniemi in Northern Finland, 3km below the Arctic Circle, it has a population of 60,000 people, 5,000 students and many, many moose. From here it’s just a swift train ride to Scandinavia and the Baltic. Already, I have seen the real Santa

> guide

Claus, polar bears and elks at the local zoo.

I said goodbye to seeing figures above zero many weeks ago and this weekend it may hit -30C. But it’s ok if you wear long johns and a hat. On the bright side, now I can do my own Smirnoff Ice advert! The whole place is whiter than an Apple iPod and hiking inside the Arctic Circle was awesome - soon I should be able to see the Aurora Borealis or northern lights. This place is also really great for your health and I’m hoping to get into shape this year, especially as there are twice weekly saunas - with beer‌

IMPACT’S MONTHLY PIECE OF ADVICE

words ben davies

‌urinal etiquette Admittedly, toilet etiquette has come along way since the Victorian days of casually emptying your piss pot onto innocent pedestrians below. However, it has become increasingly apparent that the unspoken social contract which preserves the sanctity of the male rest room has become increasingly eroded. These errors of obese schoolboy proportions place the very fabric of a once peaceful process into certain peril.

The most universal law of toilet etiquette is that of maintaining silence at all times, thereby limiting the acute sense of tension which comes with the exposing of oneself in the company of strangers. Conversation must stop

immediately upon entrance. Despite their gripping content, anecdotes on the volume of Reef strawpedoed, or an insightful stance on the Palestinian-Israeli conflict have no place in the men’s toilet. No ice breaker, yarn, or joke will ever endear you to your urinal neighbour. Indeed, any comment will be returned with either a wall of silence or a wail of obscenities. Whilst seemingly minor errors, compared to George Michael’s toilet tomfoolery, such ‘careless whispers’ severely damage the much treasured urinal turnover rate – an efficiency that eclipses women’s toilets three times over.

Whilst only the profoundly misguided gamble on vocal jousting, those insistent on physical contact are the Borats and Boris Johnsons of the toilet world – those totally bereft of any sense of convention or sensitivity for their fellow man. Patting an associate’s back, ruffling his hair or offering a hand to shake whilst he is

Food at the university is cheap (around £1.60) but I’m missing Jackson’s - there are only two branches of the KKK (no, it’s a supermarket), and whilst you have Dino’s, Lapland has the world’s most northern McDonalds and the favourite kebab shop of Lordi, the Eurovision song contest winner. We have 3 clubs. On Wednesdays there are five places where we can go. On Thursdays there are two. Life is good, albeit slower paced than back home.

I think you should try to study here. Join me, and bring some marmite. It can only get more exciting. Rovaniemi has it all.

in the process of relieving his bladder is an unforgivable breach of etiquette. One should always maximise his own personal space, opting for the urinal furthest from the next engaged; hands by your sides, eyes straight ahead. To leave any ambiguity behind, your intentions at the urinal are as ill fated as accidentally entering a bullring in a full body lobster outfit.

Finally, it is laziness, impatience, but primarily trepidation of the toilet assistant that has produced a dramatic drop in post-urinal hand hygiene. The ‘freshen-up men’, however, have an important message to preach. Once their vocals are loosely paraphrased, it is clear that these men are the unsung guardians of toilet etiquette; deeply concerned at our disregard for cleanliness, they selflessly endeavour to promote the benefits of good sanitation. If all apply such noble decorum to the whole toilet ritual, the basic human right to a silent, clean, efficient, and uninterrupted trip to the little boys’ room will be protected once and for all.

spare parts

> our man in...

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ARTS | FILMS | MUSIC | NIGHTS | GRATIS

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NICE arts > this month marjorie’s world unhinged

i’ll prove to those bastards I can fly

At Impact we are so slick that we’re not just up to the minute, we precede it! Our reviewers have turned pre-viewers, which means that by midday on the opening day of every New Theatre production we will have lovingly posted you, Joe Public, our thoughts for your information and purchasing contemplation.

@ lakeside

Physically charged yet visually bizarre, Marjorie’s World Unhinged tells the story of ageing ballerina Marjorie and her family through a blend of dance, film and voiceover. Created by last year’s Time Out Award-winning choreographer Maresa Von Stockhert, the production entangles the fantasies of six vigorous performers whose characters yearn desperately to escape the monotony of everyday life, whether by dressing up in their mum’s clothing or flying away on the wings of a moth! Each character was forced to explore the deepest depths of their imagination, frequently revealing the dark side of the human psyche.

what you missed Fish, Chips and Mushy Peas â€œâ€ŚYou might think that a critiquing satire of our immigration system and fixation with reality TV rolled into one, staged as a comedic interactive experience on a minimalist yet well-crafted set could never work‌ but you would be wrong‌â€?

Mrs Warren’s Profession â€œâ€ŚFor well-educated, well-behaved and well-mannered Vivie Warren the discovery that her often absent mother is, not only a prostitute, but a madame in brothels across the known world is shocking and abhorrent, yet this is a tale much more ambiguous than the one-sided social critique it may first appear to be...â€?

To read the rest of these reviews, check out www.impactnottingham.com/arts

Innovative dance sequences were somewhat startling as the performers’ bodily contortions created a series of almost inhuman movements. Emphasised by their heavily made up, ghoulish appearances, characters looked as though they had leapt out of a surrealist cartoon strip. Initial moments of comedy generated by the hilariously caricatured Siamese twin ballet teachers were lost, as the performance lacked momentum in the second half.

However, the production’s overall physical eccentricity pushed at the boundaries of ballet, resulting in an interestingly distorted performance that offered audiences an unhinged way of looking at the world. LW

the caretaker @ nottingham playhouse

arts

As readers of our esteemed arts section here at Impact, you have come to expect writing backed up by some degree of knowledge when it comes to ‘the arts’. This reviewer, however, while not denying his immense intelligence, must concede that on sitting down to The Caretaker he was overwhelmed with a

the newest of the new theatre!

Coming up in november‌ Humble Boy 15th-18th Nov A Streetcar Named Desire 22nd-25th Nov Flu Season 29th Nov- 2nd Dec 4:48 Psychosis 6th-9th Dec Absurd Person Singular 13th- 16th Dec CT & RE

sense of ignorance of the Nobel Prize winner’s work. Indeed he was significantly more thrilled to be seeing Jonno Dean from Hollyoaks (Colin Wells) than to be watching one of Pinter’s earlier, and less celebrated plays.

Nonetheless a private game of ‘spot The Bill/ Hollyoaks characters’ rapidly fizzled out as the play began to absorb and merrily surprise. Dan Copeland brilliantly under-performed as the ambiguous Aston, whilst Wells was surprisingly convincing as his brother Mick. Director An-

drew Breakwell successfully integrated various levels of subtext into the play, with a definite air of the sinister rising from the gulf of things left unsaid between the three characters. After a disappointing staging at the Playhouse of Roy Williams’ Sing Yer Heart Out For the Lads in October, The Caretaker was certainly no letdown. In fact, it left this critic in search of less Hollyoaks and more Pinter, which almost certainly has to be a good thing. JC

> inspiration exploration:

can you find a muse in the midlands?

They say we all have a novel inside us, but many of us suspect that ours is being kept in there by uninspiring surroundings. ‘Pah!’ is what we say to that: a pathetic excuse.

The Midlands has been a muse to some of literature’s greats. Let us remind you of a few‌

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sons and lovers

by stanley middleton The winner of 1974’s Booker Prize, Stanley Middleton is one of the East Midlands’ most prolific writers, having completed forty-two books, an average of one a year. Middleton is a native to Nottingham, growing up and attending university here, and his writing is strongly influenced by these experiences.

Holiday tells the story of a young man, Fisher, as he spends a week at the site of his childhood holidays, reflecting on the breakdown of his already rocky marriage following the death of his son. As he recalls his life working at the university and meeting his wife at the Nottingham Playhouse’s production of A Doll’s House, his ever-present father-in-law looms large, who is determined to reunite the estranged couple. Middleton carefully weaves a meditative and complex portrait of an unhappy marriage with scenes from a traditional seaside holiday to create an intriguing and touching portrayal of domestic life in the East Midlands.

by david lodge

You know the chap: his statue stands legsakimbo and beardy by the Law and Social Science building to remind us of the great man should we neglect his memory. Although he did a fair bit of being bohemian abroad, he’s most celebrated for being neurotic in Nottinghamshire.

David Lodge immortalises the Midlands and university life in his funny, intellectual and beautifully crafted novels. One-time professor of English Literature at Birmingham University, Lodge often returns to this locale, and many of his protagonists are professors themselves.

Nice Work is one of a trio of novels set in Rummidge University – Birmingham in all but name - in which the unlikely combination of Vic Wilcox, MD of an engineering works, and Dr Robyn Penrose, English lecturer, are forced to work together as part of an ‘Industry Year’ initiative. With intuitive and comedic style, Lodge creates realistic and loveable characters in this award-winning campus novel. We learn about the lives and mind-sets of Vic, Robyn, and their co-conspirators and before the novel is over, are screaming out for more. Happily, Nice Work forms part of a trilogy of novels, followed

by Small World and Changing Places.

Winner of the Sunday Express Book of the Year Award and short-listed for the Booker Prize, Nice Work is essential reading for any university student, especially those in Midlands universities!

Paul Morel is certainly more mixed up than a whole flock of the emo kids who hang out by the left lion in Market Square. A sensitive and artistic type, he grows up in the shadow of the unhappy marriage between his overbearing intellectual mother and drunken loutish father.

Siding with the former, Paul finds himself paralysed by a relationship with his mother which Mr. Freud would have had plenty to say about and having all sorts of troubles with girls. An astute psychological study of progress down the potholed road to manhood, Sons and Lovers is undoubtedly one of the greatest works of one of the greatest authors of the last century.

So there it is! Definitive proof that there are some gems sparkling under these grey skies.

Is the next one sitting, waiting to be discovered, in the mind of a Nottingham student?

Perhaps we’ll see some more literary statues around campus in future‌ JB, RD, BL

arts

holiday

nice work

by d h lawrence

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NICE films > cinema reviews Director: Starring: Juliette Binoche, Daniel Auteuil

london to brighton (18)

Director: Paul Andrew Williams Cast: Lorraine Stanley, Johnny Harris, Georgia Groome Running Time: 85 minutes

Meet Kelly, a London street-walker, and Joanne, an 11-year-old runaway. It’s 3.07 am and they need to leave London before the events of last night catch up with them. Cue an early morning trip to Victoria to catch a train bound for Brighton and a bad-tempered search by some nasty, razor-wielding gangsters. This crime thriller from first time writer-director Paul Andrew Williams

borat (15)

Director: Larry Charles Cast: Sacha Baron Cohen, Ken Davitian Running Time: 84 minutes

Following on from the huge success of the television show, Sacha Baron Cohen has brought the rather uncouth yet amicable Borat Sagdiyev to the big screen. This film follows Borat (Baron Cohen) as he is dispatched to America to report on the greatest country in the world but instead ends up travelling cross-country with his overweight producer, Azamat (Ken Davitian) with the intention of marrying Pamela Anderson. If you are anxious as to whether the transition from television to film would be a success (especially considering Cohen’s previous big screen effort with Ali G), then don’t be, as Cohen cleverly and amusingly extends the awkward and often inappropriate scenes into an excellent feature-length film.

Ever feel alienated from the rest of the country because you couldn’t care less about seeing England winning the footy? Well for little Bernie Reuben (Gregg Sulkin), having his beloved Bar Mitzvah clash with the 1966 World Cup Final means he has a vested interest in the England team being knocked out as early as possible.

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The narrative is conventionally British, as it conforms to the popular mainstream structure of lonely children and adults who have yet to take responsibility for being grown ups. Like most British films the strengths of the story emerges through character development and

is bleak, visceral and often feels unnervingly realistic. While the seamy lives of prostitutes and pimps makes for uncomfortable viewing at times, the superb acting and bristling tension hold you transfixed.

The performances of the three major characters - Joanne, Kelly and Derek the pimp - are exceptional and help to give the film emotional depth and in doing so avoid the real pitfall of exploitation. The fine balancing act at play here, as the pursuit gains pace and flashbacks fill in the

missing parts of the story, is handled well and much credit should go to Williams (who picked up the Skillset Award for Best New Director at the Edinburgh Festival this year).

At 85 minutes, this is a tight, well told and well crafted piece of story-telling and looks great on screen. The Big Issue believes it’s “the best British film of the century� and while that may be a touch over-zealous, it certainly deserves to be seen. Out on December 1st, hopefully London to Brighton won’t get lost in the slush of Christmas releases as fans of good cinema and those who like a good thriller couldn’t ask Santa for much more.

★★★★

The sexist, anti-Semitic and gypsy-hating Borat is not only hilarious in himself but also reveals the prejudices and ignorance of the American nation, who barely bat an eyelid as Borat indulges them in, among other things, details of incest within his family. At one point in the film he enters a gun shop and asks the sales assistant “Which gun is best for killing Jew?�, at which point the sales assistant replies unquestioningly, “That’d be a 9mm or .38.� Even more revealing is his trip to a rodeo show where he is informed by a Texan man that he should shave his moustache off because it makes him look like a Muslim and declares that gay people should be shot! As a result, not only does Cohen provide us with exceptional, face-aching humour, he astutely keeps quiet as others reveal their less than ideal beliefs.

★★★★ acting. Helena Bonham Carter as the caring mother and Eddie Marsan as the awkward and socially inept father give particularly strong performances.

sixty six (12A) Director: Paul Welland Cast: Gregg Sulkin, Helena Bonham Carter, Eddie Marsa Running Time: 94 minutes

Visually, the film encapsulates the era perfectly and we are presented with a well rounded screenplay centring on maturity and a subtext of increasing supermarket dominance.

The film, like the context of its subject matter, is patriotically British at the core, from the dry sense of humour to the inevitability of Sod’s Law. For someone who is football phobic, this

football-orientated film was quite enjoyable and despite the slow start, it gradually picks up rhythm as the fate of the match is intertwined with the fate of the characters. It’s definitely worth a trip if you’re a fan of other British family films such as Billy Elliot and About a Boy.

★★ ★

Little Children is the kind of film that you walk into not really understanding the plot, but by the time the last few devastatingly poignant scenes have played out, you finally get it.

Although the story pivots around the illicit affair between Sarah (Winslet) and Brad (Wilson), you come to realise that it’s not their ‘love’ that is the real issue, but their search for something outside the dreary confines of their suburban lives. The pair, along with other members of their small community, succumb to their fantasies; from lonely housewives drooling over Brad the ‘Prom King’ in the park, to the disturbingly dark desires of a convicted sex offender (convincingly portrayed by Haley) who, by the

little children (15)

Director: Todd Field Cast: Kate Winslet, Patrick Wilson, Jennifer Connelly, Jackie Earle Haley Running Time: 130 minutes

end of the film, surprisingly and very reluctantly draws a degree of sympathy from you. This is what makes Todd Field’s film so downright brilliant - the braveness with which he calmly presents the cold, disappointing realities of life.

The film isn’t perfect; Brad’s wife (Connolly) is a little underdeveloped, which is surprising considering the time Field had to play with. Also it

is not really made clear until the end how the paedophile storyline fits in with the film as a whole. That aside, Little Children holds your attention for so many reasons: it is genuinely funny in places, the acting is superb, but most importantly it is so thought-provoking that it will have you debating with your friends about the ‘real meaning’ all the way home.

★★★★

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the host (15) Director: Joon-ho Bong Cast: Kang-Ho Song, Hie-bong Byeon, Hae-il Park, Du-na Bae, Ah-sung Ko Running Time: 120 minutes Set in Seoul, South Korea, The Host starts out as a day like any other for dim-witted riverside stall-worker Kang-du (Song) and his daughter Hyun-seo (Ko). Yet mass toxic dumping into the Han River six years previously spawns a mutated by-product resembling the love-child of Godzilla and a tadpole, which then rampages through the city, devouring Hyun-seo along the way, only then to barf her up in his secret sewer lair. The film then follows Kang-du’s dysfunctional family and their race to save her - difficult considering the Korean government have had them quarantined suspecting the creature to be harbouring a deadly virus.

Sounds pretty formulaic so far, but don’t start yawning just yet as this is a monster movie like no other, successfully splicing horror and com-

edy to create a unique cinematic experience.

In particular, one of the earlier scenes depicts the family hysterically grieving the supposed loss of their (grand)daughter/niece – in any other film this would be deeply moving but you find yourself laughing uncontrollably as it’s so melodramatic.

The Parks are an interesting choice of heroes as simple-minded unsuccessful misfits, ranging from the unemployed uncle (Park) to the bronze medallist aunt (Bae). Yet it’s Song’s character that draws most of the laughs with his dopiness being the main obstacle in finding his daughter.

However, with this lies a more serious message - like any other parent, Kang-du merely wants

to protect his child; a sentiment which becomes most apparent in the last 20 minutes and the unexpected yet satisfying climax.

Overall, The Host is a definite must-see, regardless of whether or not you’re a fan of Asian cinema or even monster films in general; the interesting mix of genres at least is bound to leave you satisfied.

★★★★

the prestige (12A)

Surely one of the most recently anticipated releases for connoisseurs of great cinema, The Prestige is a creepy Victorian murder mystery, featuring one of the most eclectic ensemble casts of the year, and directed by the excellent British talent Christopher Nolan (Memento and Batman Begins). This unsettling gothic tale concerns the bitter feud between two cel-

ebrated stage magicians, Alfred Borden a.k.a. ‘The Professor’ (Bale) and Rupert Angier a.k.a. ‘The Great Danton’ (Jackman), competing not only through stage performances but also through their increasingly dangerous acts of sabotage, that may or may not have culminated in murder.

If that short summary sounds confusing, wait until you see the finished picture, told through non-linear story devices, flashbacks, flash-forwards and perplexing plot twists, which should come as no surprise to fans of Nolan’s previous work. The Prestige’s TV ads and trailers have

been blaring: ‘Are you paying close attention?’ and on this rare occasion, the tagline is actually befitting for this twisting maze of a movie. Just like a magician performing his trick and then unveiling his secrets, Nolan demands absolute audience attention as we navigate through the various subplots in order to unravel the final piece of the puzzle. The film is also refreshingly unconventional as a period piece, uninterested in small historical details or impressive tracking shots of Victorian London, instead featuring a good deal of handheld camera work. It is the film’s complex and interesting characters that are most engaging though, making this a definite blockbuster for the winter season.

★★★★

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Director: Christopher Nolan Cast: Christiian Bale, Hugh Jackman, Michael Caine, Scarlett Johansson, David Bowie, Andy Serkis Running Time: 125 minutes

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NICE films > dvd reviews hard candy (18)

Cast: Patrick Wilson, Ellen Page, Sandra Oh, Jennifer Holmes Director: David Slade Running Time: 104 minutes Hard Candy is an edgy atmospheric thriller revolving around just two characters: a successful thirty-two year old fashion photographer and a fourteen year old girl. The film opens to reveal them flirting inappropriately online and arranging the culmination of their three week virtual relationship by meeting for coffee. The first twenty minutes trace their meeting in practically real time, trading cutesy rom-com dialogue and far too many pop-culture references.

There is a sudden switch in mood when, having relocated to his place for some innocent music-listening, she suddenly drugs and imprisons him, vengeful of his supposed lust for her. From here it sets forth cautiously; whilst she raids his house the film slowly unveils details of his past, exploring his psyche touchingly and liberally. And it’s not just a one-way captor-captive relationship, it’s an organic one that grows and flows as the photographer throws the thrust of accusation and torment on her.

sexy beast (18) Cast: Ray Winstone, Ben Kingsley, Amanda Redman, Ian McShane Director: Jonathan Glazer Running Time: 88 minutes For retired gangster Gal (Ray Winstone), things are going pretty well. He lives in a luxury villa in Spain with his former porn star of a wife Deedee (Amanda Redman) where they enjoy the quiet life. His only concerns are whether his tan needs topping up or whether to have the calamari or the chicken for dinner. However, this idyllic lifestyle is shattered when he receives word that his former partner in crime Don Logan (Sir Ben Kingsley) is coming to visit to offer him one last job.

The knowledge of Don Logan’s impending arrival terrifies Gal and Deedee as they become all too aware that the life they had left behind has returned. The clear psychological affect on them leaves the audience in great anticipation of Don Logan’s arrival. So, cue Kingsley and a fantastic performance that earned him an Oscar nomination. He clearly enjoys the role of the psychopathic gangster teetering on the edge of sanity and engages in a battle of wills with Gal as he attempts to convince him to take on the job without much success.

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The film itself is enjoyable throughout, with highlights in the impressive scenes between Winstone and Kingsley. It’s definitely worth a look, especially if you are a fan of British cinema. WT

★★★★

A film of this nature and genre could easily descend into ridiculous repetition and sad parody, but what saves it is its surprisingly mature dealing with the emotive subject matter of paedophilia, provoking thought on legal, social and moral boundaries. The film is also saved by an inner cohesiveness, kept in place by the consistent use of stylish close-up focus work and the occasional splashing of minimalist piano-led electronica.

it was this guy or ray winstone. you’d have done the same

Hard Candy is a well-executed, mature film held together by faultless performances which create a tense, thrilling and thought-provoking piece.

RG

★★★★

+ unifilms listings Tuesday 28th November - Hard Candy Thursday 30th November Stormbreaker Sunday 3rd December - Miami Vice Tuesday 5th December - A Scanner Darkly Thursday 7th December - Clerks 2 Sunday 10th December - Lady In The Water Tuesday 12th December - Volver All films start at 7.30pm in A48 Clive Granger Building. Tickets are ÂŁ3 each or ÂŁ2 with membership.

> interview with al clark Tom: Paul Andrew Williams has drawn comparisons with Mike Leigh and when I first heard the film’s title and plot outline, I instantly thought of Neil Jordan’s Mona Lisa. Were there any films or filmmakers that influenced the production of London to Brighton, equally were there any comparisons you were keen to avoid?

Al: We were certainly keen to avoid the ‘Lock Stock’ comparison; it’s totally not like that at all. He has been compared to Mike Leigh, Mona Lisa and Get Carter as well. It’s interesting being compared to Leigh because they work in a completely different way. Paul’s script was very tightly written and what came out on the screen is almost exactly what was written in the first place. There is very little improvisation. Maybe it feels similar to Leigh but the process was not Paul wasn’t really trying to draw comparisons with any directors. Various names came up in Q & A and he often said he hadn’t seen that film so it couldn’t possibly have inspired him.

Tom: The lack of improvisation is surprising as the performances feel very organic.

Al: Paul worked very tightly with the actors but they pretty much stuck to the script. There was some improvisation, but really very little at all.

Tom: For yourself then, what would you say the experience of producing London to Brighton has taught you, professionally or personally?

Al: It was our first feature film, the first step up from short films. Both Rachel (Robey, who also produced London to Brighton) and myself had both worked on features but had not produced our own and it’s a massive leap between shorts and features. It’s not just a question of shooting for longer, there’s so much more that goes on, there’s the finance side, distribution, legal‌It certainly taught us the process of feature film production which has become invaluable for the next film that we’re working on at the moment.

Tom: Could you tell me your favourite part of London to Brighton - a scene, performance, memory from the set, a particular accomplishment?

Al: The cafÊ scene really sticks out for me; it’s one of the most powerful scenes in the film.

Johnny and Georgia in that scene are incredible. With Johnny’s performance he kind of tricks you into liking him but then you realise what he’s talking about and it’s just despicable.

And Georgia’s just so innocent that you really feel for her.

Tom: The performances from all three leads were superb.

Al: Absolutely, they were all brilliant and for all of them it was their first major role and first feature film.

Tom: British film has to battle for space with Hollywood, but what would you say is the difference between British and American films in terms of the stories that can be told and why is it important that people watch their own national cinema?

Al: We tend to make more naturalistic films in Britain, but the problem with naturalistic drama, going back to the kitchen sink type drama, is the difficulty of getting audiences to go and see it because they can, quite rightly, see it on television, probably with the same actors, and it’s free! So you have to set it apart from that and give a cinematic edge to the film that widens the scope by showing stuff that you don’t see on television. Hopefully we catch that in London to Brighton. Obviously we can’t compete with the big budget Hollywood and there’s no point trying because you’re just setting yourself up for a fall. I do love the independent stuff that comes out of America though; there’s some incredible work. I hope we can maybe compete with that more realistically.

Al: Make your own stuff, write stuff, try it out because you only find out what works by trying. Try to get work on big films, although it’s actually getting difficult now because you’re not allowed to work for free. They’ve just passed a ruling so you can’t volunteer anymore which is a total nightmare for getting into the industry. I feel sorry for people trying to get into film now because trying to get someone to employ you when you’ve never worked on a film before is very difficult, but you just have to try to get out there and make your own stuff, send it off to festivals, watch a lot of short films, look at ones that are winning the prizes and doing well to see what audiences are looking for.

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Tom: You’re currently filming Better Things (Duane Hopkins), Wellington Films’ second feature. Can you give us the gist of that and when do you hope to release it?

Al: We’re collaborating with Third Films on this one. It’s a multi-stranded art house drama set in the Cotswolds about the relationships between the youths of the small town and compares them with the elderly, drawing comparisons between the two. It’s actually very difficult to pitch but it’s going to be a very beautiful film and we hope it’ll be hitting festivals by the middle of next year, and maybe cinemas this time next year.

Tom: You told me that you went to the University of Nottingham. How would you describe your experience at Nottingham Uni, how do you remember your time there?

Al: I remembered that Christopher Ross, the DP who shot it, also went to the university and was head of the film making society. I had a great time at university; I did Art History 94-97.

I was a member of the film making society which is where I met Chris and we did some shorts, not actually with Chris but with some other friends. I think it’s a great university; I don’t regret my time there at all.

Tom: What advice would you give to our graduates wanting to get into the film business?

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Al Clark was a producer for London to Brighton (released December 1st) which is reviewed in this issue. Impact caught up with him on the set of new film Better Things.

words tom peck

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NICE music • live the long blondes, rescue rooms 16th october 2006

Just when it seemed like the ‘Best Unsigned Band In Britain’ was going to slip off the radar, The Long Blondes finally recorded an album. “Someone to Drive You Home� sounds like a rawer TopShop spin on Pulp’s “Different Class,� and it’s pretty faultless. On a packed Monday night in Rescue Rooms, coinciding sadly with the Seven Legged Bar Crawl, the band fulfil their lingering promise of greatness. Wry-tongued, snake-hipped singer Kate Jackson oozes star quality, as a throng of teens belt every word back at her. Toe-tapping new single “Once and Never Again� has become an instantly recognisable feminist manifesto; a homage to either a lesbian affair or a mother’s advice to her daughter, (hopefully not both!), it should be a huge hit. The band’s wait for a

record deal has allowed them to hone their live act considerably: it’s as tight as Jackson’s lilac leotard [Phwoar! – Ed].

However visually striking they appear, it’s the music that really sells The Long Blondes.

Highlights of an hour-long set include the disco shuffle of “Giddy Stratospheres� and the riotous power pop of “Separated by Motorways.�

Halfway through the set, a lone girl joyously jiving away on the balcony catches the eye of singer Kate. “I know how it feels to be your age,� she sings, waving and smiling to the dancer in complete empthy. If the Long Blondes can make this same honest connection with the record buying public, then they truly will hit Giddy Stratospheres. RC

two gallants, rescue rooms 4th november 2006

Mere weeks ago Two Gallants’ Adam Stephens was on the run, beneath the trailing search-lights of police helicopters. A Houston performance descended into chaos after noise complaints lead to a police onslaught culminating in a handful of nasty taserings. Now fugitives on the run, with partner-in-crime Tyson Vogel, the San Francisco duo have sought refuge at our very own Rescue Rooms.

An energised crowd wait expectantly for the vagabonds’ arrival, drummer and backing vocalist Vogel jettisoning a lady-like coat on appearance, no doubt part of a cop-dodging disguise. Then things kick off - with an endearing performance of “Age of Assassins�, making an instant highlight of an incredible night.

Stephens’ gravel-like vocals and distorted fingerpicking battle heroically with Vogel’s industrious

drumming, creating a sound denser than a Phil Spector production played through a distortion amp, leaving members of the audience with heads blowing open through the sheer momentum of it all.

It puts another popular two-piece band to shame; Meg White would do well to take notes.

The pair race through a set full of energy and enthusiasm that’s reminiscent of an amphetamine-driven Elliott Smith which, despite the attempts of a token intoxicated idiot in the audience, remain singularly compelling. “We are not scientists,� reflects Stephens, acknowledging the Californian guitar-popsters playing next door at Rock City. Quite, but with as highly combustible sonic reactions as those they let off tonight, Two Gallants remain a force impossible to tame. RG

• singles

music

Oi! What’s going on in singles land?

Subtle’s ‘The Mercury Craze’ mixes so many styles it might spoil the broth, but the balance is just right, cooking up a captivating multi-level explosion of creative cake! Word! Cut Chemist isn’t as successful on “The Audience Is Listening Theme Song� re-treading bread & butter breaks and beats and taking up too many words with the long title. Tune! Anyone bored of Klaxons yet? Well, screw you, ’cos ‘Magick’ is ace and the B-side ‘Hall Of Records’ is better. ‘Hole In The Earth’ sees Deftones taking on a more mature tone, which is normally a shot in the foot for metal bands (see: Limp Bizkit), but this time they pull it off.

Gunnery elsewhere, Kasabian’s ‘Shoot The Runner’ is a glam-rock stomper with Big Ideas; even if they are all T. Rex’s. Shabba! Taking Back Sunday’s ‘Liar’ sounds like your typical emo fart, while Wolfmother’s ‘Joker & The Thief’ is more like a sinewy burp. Awooga!

Best of all this month is The Knife’s mesmerising ‘Like A Pen’, which sounds like Puck & his pixies in an electro-gangbang! Roar! There you go, you’ve had your fill – now go do something useful, you slacker! AH (Thanks to AP, JT, CO, RP, NT, RC)

• recommended albums jarvis ‘jarvis’ “You can stay all night if you want toâ€?, notes our gracious host Jarvis on ‘Don’t Let Him Waste Your Timeâ€?, the triumphant opener of his solo debut. But despite his hospitality, is his gesture worth midnight-snacking over? In the time leading up to Pulp’s career-defining ‘This Is Hardcore’ – a bitter testimony to celebrity’s ills that puts Preston’s weak attempts (see below) to shame – an all-nighter with the working-class Byron would have seen you drowned in enough coke to

facilitate a launch in the snow-shaker business. But where he once sung about ‘The Fear’ that the neurotic lifestyle induced, here it’s replaced by middle-aged meanders espousing the virtue of family, encapsulated by ‘Disney Time’, a song inspired by watching kid’s movies with his son. Aww. A music icon to whom we’re indebted, sure, but with age comes the need to settle down and it’s the inescapable feeling on this twilight record. AH

josef k ‘entomology’ Named after the hapless bank clerk of Franz Kafka’s “The Trial�, it’s taken decades since Josef K’s demise before he was again thrust into the limelight, this time thanks to another Franz (Ferdinand – that is). The art-pop hero Alex Kapranos’ former band, Josef K released just one album and a handful of singles in their short life, compiled here, including tracks from their notorious Peel Sessions. Despite fitting very neatly into distinctly post-punk brackets of the time, it’s thrilling stuff. Dynamic drums and shimmering reverb-laden guitar make for a more melodic Joy Division sound. But this is no rushed cash-in, it’s a well compiled, lovingly presented snapshot of a short-lived dynamic rock band. RWG

the ordinary boys ‘how to get everything you wanted in ten easy steps’ Whether he intended to sell out, save his flagging band or satirise Fame itself, Big Brother certainly saved Preston’s bacon. As a result of it, “How To‌â€? is dripping with wry, knowing snipes at his new Cult of Celebrity. First single ‘Lonely At The Top’ is particularly smug, its lolloping bass-line and pop-gloss sheen turning it into a nouveau-riche man’s London Calling. Only interlude “Commercial Breakdownâ€? breaks the mould, sounding like 2 Fruit Machines having rampant sex. A fruit machine has money poured into it and produces disappointing results: the same could be said of this very Ordinary Boy. RC

badly drawn boy ‘born in the uk’ Don’t let the title of this album fool you – it’s no sociological comment on what it’s like to be British today. Rather, it’s a thoughtful musical account of the state of a long-term relationship. Some tracks may well wash over you at first. Elsewhere, like on the haunting ‘Without a Kiss’, Mr. Gough produces wonderful arrangements that would not be out of place on an Anthony and the Johnson’s album. Despite a few weak dips, and being heavily pianobased, ‘Born In The UK’ still manages to demonstrate why Badly Drawn Boy is one of the most talented songwriters in the country. DL

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the decemberists ‘the crane wife’ Too quirky to be “cool�, the accordionheavy Decemberists’ swashbuckling tales of derring-do don’t just inspire angled fringes.

Their rise from the underground to Capitol Records this year shocked many - but rest assured, they haven’t sold out. They have taken the influence of The Who on board in a big way and production values are clearly a lot higher, but regardless of the sheen, some of the band’s best work is here - “The Island� is the kind of thing that would come from an acid-infused Pete Townshend watching Muppet Treasure Island and it’s great stuff.

Well worth a listen. IS

the magic numbers ‘those the brokes’ Like lowering yourself into a warm bath, there was something comforting about the Magic Numbers debut. But on the preposterously-titled ‘Those The Brokes,’ the bathwater’s gone a little cold. Things start promisingly: ‘This Is A Song’ sounding like an ice cream truck skittering through heaven, and the relatively frenetic ‘Take A Chance’ is jivetastic. Whilst the album is essentially One Long Song, there are hidden gems within the flab: the orchestral strokes on ‘Goodnight’ are delicate and dark, while ‘Runnin’ Out’ rocks out in a safe fashion. Had they been a little braver, more of these Numbers could’ve been Magic. RC

music

In association with the mic

Robbie: Would you shake this man’s Rudebox?

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NICE music • fast tracker interview with hot chip Hot Chip has no drummer, just like Depeche Mode in the early 80’s. DM overcompensated for this with borderline BDSM stage outfits, how do you make up for it?

Alexis (Lead Vocals/Synth/Guitar): Lots of drum machines.

So you’re not prone to bondage then?

A: In my experience of bondage I don’t find it has anything to do with drumming.

But Depeche Mode were very successful with their bondage over drumming, surely there’s a correlation?

A: Well yes, but we’re trying to find success in our own way, perhaps by always wearing green spectacles.

What’s the best way to dance to Hot Chip?

A: I like to dance like a baby.

So you cry your eyes out and dook in a nappy?

A: Well no, babies are usually happy when they’re dancing!

So what about dance as a method of communication?

A: It’s effective in nightclubs.

But what about bees? They do a waggle dance to communicate the quality of the pollen they’ve just had?

A: I do a dance to communicate the quality of the Waggle Dance I’ve just drunk.

one else would have one so it’s immediate kudos when you’re higher up than everyone else.

A: If I took it would I not be able to write songs?

Do you have any pollen allergies?

A: I’ve got mild hayfever.

You’d be allowed to write them but only play them in your bedroom.

A: Oh in that case I’d definitely take it‌ What is it you like so much about flippancy?

That’s not really front page worthy – have you got any phobias? What gives you the willies?

A: I’m quite frightened of Rottweilers, they’re massive and snarling.

Well aren’t you sick of being asked how the tour’s going?

A: Yea you’re right actually.

What about if a gorilla came running at you?

A: Yea I’d be frightened. It wouldn’t know that I meant it no harm.

Yea but it’s a gorilla that’s been taught sign language. There’s an interpreter there, the gorilla’s coming at you, what do you say to the interpreter to pass on to the gorilla so it doesn’t tear your head off?

A: I’d say, ‘I’m just vibing off you maaaan’.

That might work if the gorilla was a fan.

Would you forgo your musical career with Hot Chip if you could have a jet pack? No

• local leftlion extravaganza

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So what’s this, a night showcasing Nottingham talent? We’ll see. First up, The Atoms. Entertaining but totally contrived - If your girlfriend’s dumped you, you can play three chords on a guitar, and wish you were American, then this is what you sound like. A dramatic change of fortune comes in Weeble, who look like they’ve fallen straight out of the Dadaist manifesto. Somewhere between the pounding clamor of the brass and trombone player Baimbo and Weeble’s dance moves, everyone’s dancing in shapes more suited to Madonna’s yoga class.

This is ska-punk at its best. Spiky vocals and upbeat folk peppered with random outbreaks of verging psycho attacks on the banjo come next in the shape of Grain who, basically, scare the shit out of me‌

in the best way possible. Spontaneous and bloody good. Next up is Lo-Ego, who are basically going metal on ecstasy, and while that may not excite your average filler of skinny jeans and granddad jumpers, there’s something addictive about lead singer Martin Collins’ vocals. The night’s headliners The Hellset Orchestra may look like the Arcade Fire, but don’t be fooled, this is passion at its most passionate, like Romeo accompanied by the BBC Philharmonic and Frankenstein’s depleted organ. Lesson learnt? Nottingham staples Seachange and The Grave Architects may have buggered off down to London to record albums, but tonight ushers in a new throng of local talent that’s well worth tuning in to. NK

I went on a date last week and the girl threw me out her bed at 4am after a conflict of the soul. Any relationship advice?

A: What was the conflict?

She said she liked me but she didn’t want to have a relationship.

A: Oh, I’ve heard that one before. It’s a bit of a stock phrase.

Do you think she’s bullshitting me?

A: My advice is say what you feel, not what you ought to feel. ‘I want to take you from behind’.

A: Exactly.

!! IS THIS THE MOST HATED BAND IN BRITAIN??!! words gemm a

Goth urchins The Horrors don’t know where to begin. Out of the underground and into the harsh light of day (via the cover of NME), they’ve fended off violations from all angles, making them indie’s Public Enemy #No.1.

Gemma Lavelle intercepts the fisticuffs for some serious fight talk, to find out why everyone feels a need to box their noses in‌

Band feudalism that puts the Saxons to shame, assaults in the street by disgruntled members of the public and even attacks mid-performance by their own maniac fans, The Horrors are fast forging a reputation for endless artful antinomy. They’ve only been together for a year, but already they’ve inspired inter-band rivalries that baulk in face of boring East Coast hip-hop clashes. The charges against them? More than just too cool for school, they’ve an air of cultural superiority that singles them out from the crowd. With their avant-garde dress sense; waistcoats, spotless white shirts and super skinny jeans that’d leave your layman a soprano, they’re rock goblins on the offensive, determined to make your darkest nightmares come true.

Do they deserve the flack? Here’s what The Automatic had to say of the art school mod-rockers: “They suck! This hype means nothing, as soon as their songs come out, people are going to realise how crap they are.�

10 seconds and had to turn it off, and C) The Automatic said that they all wanted to be in hardcore bands, so my question is why the fuck don’t they do that instead of making such boring music?� Laying arguments out in bullet points, cor, they must mean business.

Boring music pisses them off and is the trigger behind all this bad blood. They admit “all of our favourite bands polarize opinions,� making you wonder whether all the animosity is intended simply to gain publicity and emulate the careers of their heroes. It’s an idea backed up by the endless criticisms of their peers: “The Fratellis are musically one rung above The Automatic on a very tall ladder. These bands have some songs people like to sing along to - wasn’t it The Automatic whose song football fans changed the words to ‘What’s that coming over the hill, is it a Rooney?’ That’s the kind of creativity we hope never to inspire.�

If the ‘creativity’ Faris and his gang are offering comes in the form of black paint sprayed onto the audience at their gigs (now a show ritual), it certainly doesn’t cater to the mainstream.

Despite assertions that the crowd enjoy it, a trip to the ladies during their performance at the NTU union tells you otherwise; pleas for foundation and vows of letters of complaint rife amongst hysterical girls scrubbing themselves free of black stains.

Having taken more knocks than Frank Bruno, Faris is no stranger to violent attacks on and off stage. At a recent gig in New York, he was ambushed mid performance by a member of the audience. Add to this a tooth knocked out from a scrape in Whitechapel and he’s landed one fat medical bill. Characteristically, he makes light of it, “We ask for it because we are doing something different, but that’s fine. I don’t give a fuck if we don’t appeal to boneheads. I’m not gonna go round in a tracksuit, shave my head and be brow beaten into something I’m not.’

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In association with the mic

With a high dose of overconfidence Faris defends the NME’s decision to put them on the cover: “If you’re on the cover of NME, you’re going to be a target, you’re going to have people writing in saying ‘why aren’t Hard-Fi on the cover?’ ‌because they aren’t doing anything exciting. That’s what new music should be about, that’s why the Klaxons were on the cover, they have only released the same amount of records as we have and they deserve the cover. I think we justify it.â€?

So, who’s the next target? “Get Cape. Wear Cape. Fly. is a racist bastard, there’s a reason why he doesn’t go into Whitechapel‌ and that one from the Kooks, he’s an arsehole too. He said we are shit.’ Reputation unquestionably justified.

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Sat before me, singer Faris Rotter coolly retaliates, “This is the weird thing, A) I’d never heard of them when they made those comments so I don’t give a fuck, B) I was round Chris Cunningham’s house the other day and we tried to listen to their hit song, we both felt sick after about

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NICE nights > out and about in notts christmas dining If you don’t fancy trying to concoct a home made Christmas dinner for your mates, we’ve found a few places you might like to try for a charcoal-free festive feast‌

christmas feast We at Impact know that Christmas is a busy time of year, so as a gift to you we’re going to help you to make the perfect quick and easy Christmas Dinner - student style!

beforehand, you can use the meat juices to roast the potatoes in.

1) The ‘Turkey’

Quick and easy. Some suggestions for roasting include parsnip, red onions, sweet potatoes, squash and carrots, but it should work with anything in the fridge.

A perfect Christmas dinner doesn’t have to include a turkey. Cooking a full sized bird can be daunting or just not practical for the average student with a teeny oven and a teeny budget.

Why not try the handy supermarket alternative? The ready roast! No weighing, basting or calculations required! Or how about substituting your turkey for chicken?

General rule about meat cooking: roast until the juices run clear. We don’t want anyone getting food poisoning now, do we? Veggie alternatives include the highly rated Nut Roast.

For more info on turkey cooking and vegetarian dishes, see ww.ivillage.co.uk/food and www.vegsoc.org respectively.

3) Roasted Veg

Prepare your veg as if for boiling. Place in a large baking tray and drizzle generously with oil. Put in oven with your potatoes for 20 minutes. For extra flavour, sprinkle a herb of your choice (we’re fans of rosemary) over your vegetables before roasting.

4) Stuffing Available from all good supermarkets in a handy packaged form. Instructions can be found on the reverse.

5) Gravy

2) Roast potatoes Parboil your spuds for 5-10 minutes. Meanwhile, fill a deep roasting tray with a generous amount of oil (at least 1cm deep) and heat at roughly 200°C/gas mark 6. When the oil is hot, transfer your spuds to the pan and cook for 45 minutes or until golden. To make them extra crisp, shake them in the pan before cooking to ensure they’re evenly coated.

nights

If you aren’t catering for non-meat eaters and you have enough room, you can roast the potatoes with your poultry as this will give them a better flavour. If you have cooked your bird

Add boiling water to granules, stir and serve.

Or you could add the meat fat and juices to boiling water (including any left over from boiled veg), chuck in a little flour and gravy browning and simmer for 10 minutes.

6) Christmas Punch Think sophisticated Karni cocktail and you’re on the right lines. Cider, lemonade, cranberry juice, pineapple juice and a dash of rum and vodka is a good place to start.

Voila! A feast fit for a student. Enjoy! HL

The Bell Inn (just off the Old Market Square) From 20 November - 14 December, the Bell Inn offers a Christmas Fayre Menu of four courses for just £10.50. Recently voted Nottingham Pub of the Year 2006 and one of the oldest pubs in the city, we’d recommend the Bell Inn for a traditional, cosy pub lunch.

Make sure you call to reserve a table and, as for most Christmas lunches, you’ll need to fill out a booking form for larger parties.

The Orange Tree (Shakespeare Street) For a real student-friendly Christmas meal we recommend the Orange Tree near Trent Uni in town. Two or three course Christmas lunches and dinners are on offer seven days a week throughout December, not breaking the bank at only ÂŁ16 for three courses.

Tales of Robin Hood Christmas Banquet (Maid Marian Way) If you haven’t rinsed too much of your loan already this year, why not try the Tales of Robin Hood for a five course Christmas feast, Christmas crackers, medieval entertainment and limitless alcohol? Prices range from £40 at the start of the week, to £55 on a Sunday.

May ye have a very merry Christmas! NW

The general consensus in the Impact office, and most likely amongst a lot of you, is that New Years Eve is pretty shit. It’s just another excuse to get horrendously drunk and slur incomprehensibly to the tune of ‘Auld Lang Syne’ with a bunch of complete strangers.

Excellent.

shit, it’s the end of the world again

But, fear not, it doesn’t have to be that way.

We thought we’d give you a few ideas to put the climax back into your celebrations‌ If the prospect of weeks with the ‘rents is too much to handle and you fancy an early escape back to Notts, Firefly at the Garvey are putting on a New Years Eve Spanktacular with one of their heaviest line ups to date, including nu-skool breaks collective The Breakfastaz, Thrash Jelly and an injection of northern electronica from Bugged Out!’s Carl Taylor. Tickets start at ÂŁ10 for the early birds and are available online at www.ilovefirefly.net.

To witness Europe’s biggest New Year celebrations, head off to Edinburgh for Hogmanay, a four day festival held in the city centre. The highlight of the festival has to be the Street Party; a carnival of music, dancing and street theatre held on the 31st from 10pm. With guest performances from acts such as The Fratellis, The Pet Shop Boys and Hard-Fi on stages across the city, you’ll be hard pushed not to enjoy it.

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nights NICE

new years Or, if huge crowds and death by hypothermia at your local market square don’t tickle your fancy, why not celebrate your own way and rent yourselves a country cottage. Gather a

small group of friends, enough food and booze to feed a small army and head into the country for a weekend of log fires, drinking games and total privacy! NW

notts trent vs notts uni If I thought a foray into a Nottingham Trent night out was going to explode any stereotypes, I was wrong. By chance, I was coerced to accompany my friend to her Fresher netball initiation at the Nags Head, followed by Trent fave Templars and rounded off by a Wednesday AU night at Ocean. Dressed as a carrot (the theme for the night), I threw myself wholeheartedly into being a Trent netball player.

The major difference with Trent nights is the sheer number of people in fancy dress. Bunnies, Baywatch, and even a few throwbacks from Farthing Wood were eagerly chewing

the faces off each other (charming to see that Ocean is, and always will be, a cattle market). Trying not to appear too over-zealous with my newfound Trent personality, I overheard a girl asking what VD stands for. Anyone who thinks that it’s a new cocktail is a legend in my book. As a comparison, a week after my Trent venture, I chose the classic Isis night to see just how different the two nights actually are.

Isis needs no introduction: its trademark vodka Red Bull and pole dancers can reduce even the most tousle-haired rah to a common townie when 3am rolls around. As my mate

so eloquently put it, both clubs are ‘fucking nasty’. Unlike their counterparts, most of the Uni crowd didn’t look as if they’d had a dodgy hair-straighteners accident and in general the pace seemed far less frenetic, though the DJ was cheesier. As for my night, it soon turned into the usual crisis, (albeit without as many hair extensions or Very Excitable Girls) and I ended face down outside the burger van.

The conclusions drawn from my Wednesday night adventures? I guess some things are consistent whether Trent or Uni nights. The difference? Nottingham students know that NASA does mean something other than ‘Nice Arse, Shag Alert’. CA

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In all honesty, I could lie and say I was disgusted at the chants ‘I’m goal defence and my blow jobs are immense’, but after downing copious amounts of pink liquid reminiscent of white spirit, I was warbling with the best of them. Everywhere I looked, VEGs (Very Excitable Girls) were raving about each other’s paint-on tans and their ‘banterlicious’ outfits.

As for the Trent males, I thought I was in with a chance with one guy in Ocean, however he confused the ‘QMC’ with ‘KFC’ and I spent the best part of the night explaining that I don’t live near the fried chicken shop. Needless to say, he lost interest pretty quickly‌

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NICE nights > bars + clubs

neeeeeeeeeoooooooooooowww

the alternative outing Ocean? Ocean? Don’t be silly, it’s open race night at Nottingham greyhound track! Entry costs the same, but then they give you free money! Well, not quite free, you have to back a winner but with only six dogs in each race, how hard can that be?

Three of us arrived at the Colwick Park racetrack on a frosty November night and set about studying the race card. Although I consider myself something of a pro at this gambling malarkey (I once won ÂŁ9 on the Grand National!) it took us a good half hour to work out what all the numbers written next to the dog’s name meant, and then longer still to work out the odds from the baffling screens inside. ‘Oh shit, I’ve bet on the wrong horse’ pretty much summed up our initial confusion. But there are thirteen races a night (7-11pm) so plenty of time to get rich.

After each race we retreated into the large bar to keep warm (beer - ÂŁ2) and placed our

funny farm @ the ark nights

If you don’t know yet, every second Thursday is comedy night at The Ark. The two hour show gives you the chance to see stand up comedians in a very intimate setting. Sometimes this setting can prove too

bet on the next race. A few races in and no winners, but I was confident that my careful analysis of each dog’s form would soon pay dividends. Meanwhile, my mate Luke was just going for the best name - what an amateur!

One scrawny looking hound was called ‘Cagey Luke’, so against my advice he put a couple of quid on that at a 50-1 long shot.

A few moments later, and we were going mental as Cagey Luke scampered victoriously past the finishing post just metres away from us. It was a glorious moment, possibly the greatest ever in greyhound racing. The plucky underdog had triumphed against all odds. We strolled up to the Tote counter and Luke slammed down his winning ticket with a smirk that seemed to say, ‘Yes that’s right, I’m your daddy.’ (In hindsight, I might have been getting a bit carried away at this point, but it was an emotional time after all.)

However, the pay out girl seemed unimpressed intimate; be prepared to take some stick if you’re sitting near the front. The calibre of comedians when I have gone has been surprisingly good, especially when they had the guts to venture beyond the usual jokes about being caught wanking (trust me, it’s no laughing matter) and into more dangerous comedy territory such as disability and Islam.

The next night is on 23rd November with Geordie motor mouth Gavin Webster, Kevin Dewsbury and Ben Hurley. Tickets are ÂŁ4 on the door, ÂŁ3 in advance. TP

and we soon realised why; with the Tote, you get the final starting price, not the odds at the time you made the bet. This is worth remembering because it means it’s best to bet as late as possible. The odds had shortened so much that Luke had not won £50, but in fact the princely sum of £2.63.

Still, we’d had a good time and I’d recommend giving it a go – there are races Monday, Friday and Saturday nights. And Luke didn’t mind about his anticlimax‌he’d won enough for a kebab on the way home and in his world, that’s as good as it gets. TP

ask yourself these questions...

Do you go out?

Would you like to see your name in print?

Do you have an opinion about Nottingham’s establishments?

If the answer to all 3 is ‘Yes’ than we want YOU! Come along to the Impact Office, Thursdays at 5 and your work could get published in the next issue or on our lovely website!

Alternatively, you can email us at nights@imp actnottingham.com.

Clever-Stuff Limited is celebrating the launch of this new USB key and we have 3 to give away to you lucky, lucky people.

Send all answers to: magazine@impactnottingham.com with ‘competition’ in the subject title

The busbi key can hold up to 1000 pictures, 600 songs, 4 movies and er, essays if you’re that way inclined. Plus there’s a free trial of the Concise Oxford English Dictionary. Which is far better than that inconcise one. Psh. You can also get the full busbi range at Argos from £14.99 or check out their website at www.busbi.biz. But personally I’d prefer to win one, and you can by answering this silly question:

Has anyone else noticed how expensive a Twix is these days?

• the end of the question mark... or is it?

• hit the slopes in style and win the latest clobber from columbia sportswear Winter is here and that can only mean one thing. No, not another godawful Only Fools And Horses Christmas Special, it’s time to wax up those skis and boards! If you’re hitting the slopes this season, whether it’s in France, Switzerland, Italy or Andorra, looking your best has never been more important.

Columbia Sportswear has been making ski and board clothing since 1938 and has everything you need from style to performance to ensure you’re looking your best on the piste.

Columbia’s newest collection, Titanium, combines the latest cuts, colours and fabrics with the highest level of performance and technical features. Focusing on looking good, this seasons’ gear features the largest choice of vibrant colours, cool cuts and intricate detailing making sure you look slick on those slopes this season (see picture).

We’ve teamed up with Columbia to give you a chance to win a goody bag worth £50 with all your ski essentials including gloves, hat and scarf. Answers on a postcard, please:

Which Columbia Jacket in the Titanium range is made up of 3 pieces (vest, sweater, and liner)?

I don’t know about you but if I were sensible I’d go to www.columbia.com and search for something like ‘Titanium vest sweater liner’. Just an idea.

*NQBDU staff

issue 179

Editor-In-Chief: Dan Brenikov Editor: Miriam Zendle Deputy Editor: Pete Tubman Design Editor: Dan Brenikov Associate Editors: Charlotte Longstaff, Corin Faife, Alice Hutton Online Editor: James Hicks Images Editor: Dave Eborall, Rob Garratt Associate Design Editors: Matt Perry, Oli Rimoldi News Editors: Jessica Elgot, Tim Barwell, Owen Bennett Sports Editors: Adam Harwood, Jenny Smith Travel Editors: Amy Pickerill, Sam Holland Fashion Editors: Natalie Dale, Katie Hodgkiss Arts Editors: Bianca Leggett, Simon Treacy Film Editors: Tom Peck, Paul Cooney Music Editors: Amy Dyson, Alex Hoban Nights Editors: Hannah Lewis, Nancy Weir, Tom Parry Publicity Manager: Robert Barham Publicity Officers: Dave Wood

Hahahohoho oh dear I’m still drunk. But! In this nifty little book you can find the answers to all sorts of questions, like how many shots it would take an amateur golfer to get across America and who would win in a fight between Mike Tyson and Bruce Lee. It still left me none the wiser about whether the best way to dump your partner is by text or on Fuckbook though.

• win placebo tickets!

Impact has two tickets to give away for Placebo’s gig at the Nottingham Arena on Thursday 7th December.

The trio burst onto the scene back in the mid ‘90s and with seven million album sales world wide, they’ve become one of Britain’s most successful rock bands.

Led by the eye-liner wearing Brian Molko, their hit singles like ‘Nancy Boy’, ‘Pure Morning’ and ‘Because I Want You’ have kept the band in the charts since 1996.

With their latest album ‘Meds’ creating a real buzz and headline slots at the Reading and Leeds Festivals - it looks like Placebo are still well and truly a band of the moment!

Tickets are on sale now and are priced at ÂŁ23.50 (plus booking fee). You can book through our 24hr Ticket Hotline on 0870 121 0123 or log onto our website at www.nottingham-arena.com.

You can also call in to the Nottingham Arena Box Office, Bolero Square, The Lace Market, Nottingham.

If you fancy watching the show in style you can buy Premium Tickets by calling 0115 853 3008 and if there’s a group of ten or more of you who’d like to see Placebo call our Group Booking line on 0115 853 3095.

Still reading? Well read some more, because here’s the question:

Well here comes the science bit. Concentrate.

Who would win in a fight between a squirrel and a badger?

quotability Alice’s Mum - “In the ‘60s we thought religion and the monarchy were on the way out�

Alex - “I find trigonometry erotic. Sin, cos and tan really get me going�

Alex - “I’m an honest guy, I’m well hung�

Alex - “Let’s chloroform the porter�

Alex - “I have a nosebleed, hug me�

Alex - “I make women hot; Alice is hot right now�

Dan - “Owen’s bringing SexyBack�

Miriam - “I’m going to edit you as fast I can�

Jess - “No epileptics, we don’t like them�

Paul (URN) - “Mozart definitely worth a listen�

What is Mr Molko’s first name?

Owen - “We should be

photos, artwork & design Florence Gohard, Rob Garratt, Dave Eborall, Amy Bell, Philip Morton, Francesca Moore, Matt Perry, Oli Rimoldi, Daniel Brenikov, Elinor Harris et al.

contributors Helen Cui, Helen Saxton, Rob Chute, Anthony Palmer, Ben Davies, Eleanor Grosvenor-Taylor, Golnar Aref-Adib, Georgina Breach, Gemma Casey, Michael Leyland, Ben Grant, Charlotte North, Mister Cee, Winston, John The Savage, Reem Raoof, Matt Lawrence, Anna Dubuis, Hollie Stephens, Robin E Marsden, Eva lacey, Nick hook, Cathy Adams, Rishi Gupta, Amelia Phillips, Jonathon Toon, Charlotte Oliver, Rich Preston, Natalie Thomas, Natalie Ktena, Gemma Lavelle, Jess Baron, Rosemary Dean, Lucy Wheeler, Josh Cole, Carly Taylor & Robyn Ellis, Angela Edmunds, Joe Murphy, Vicki Evans, James Rippon, Warren Tarling et al.

57

The book, The End of the Question Mark, is from the creators of the AQA texting service which has helped millions of desperate souls answer such queries, and is perfect loo book material. For similar books check out www.profilebooks.com. So hands up who wants to win a copy?

apologies To Emily Grosvenor-Taylor for not crediting her article last issue. To Heather Saxton for missing the ‘T’ out. To Emily Medhurst for misquoting her.

thanks To Chris Regan who made a triumphant return to Impact this issue. To the Guardian awarding us runner-up for ‘best designed student publication of 2006’.

advertising SU Marketing Team, Media Communications Tel: (0115) 846 8744 E-mail: sumarketing@nottingham.ac.uk

in alphabetical order, so BENNETT - oh no, wait...

Barwell�

seriously, she’s mine�

Dan - “I knew her longer, so she’s mine, I dibbed first�

Ben - “Imagine if Jesus directed a film... he could do his own stunts�

Owen (to Miriam) - “Dan is your Alice�

Ben - “Are you fertile?

Goodnight.�

Owen (re: Alice) - “We’ve got so much in common, we both know Jess�

Miriam - “Do you like women, Corin - “I nearly got Miriam Alex, or men?� into bed� (Ed: lies!!!)

Miriam - “If we had a mattress...�

Alice - “It would also be easier to have sex in the Impact office�

Matt - “I am religious now actually, Alice is my god�

Matt (re: Alice) - “Alice doesn’t make mistakes�

Dan - “Yeah, Alice is perfect�

Pete - “I call my iPod Lord Lucan so whenever it plugs into the computer it says Lord Lucan has been found�

Pete (to Matt) - “I can’t look at you at the moment and not think of E.T.�

Ray - “If you’re colourblind, surely you can’t see the sun�

Dan (re: Alice) - “That girl can Lailah - “You know that Mills wear whatever she wants� & Boon idea of your first kiss Owen - “Or nothing� tasting like chicken...�

Pete - “...With a bit of gravy it Matt (re: Alice) - “I call dibs, would have been nice�

contact us Impact Magazine, Portland Building, University Park, University of Nottingham, Nottingham, NG7 2RD Tel: 0115 846 8716 Email: magazine@impactnottingham.com designers@impactnottingham.com associate_designers@impactnottingham.com images@impactnottingham.com sports@impactnottingham.com fashion@impactnottingham.com nights@impactnottingham.com films@impactnottingham.com music@impactnottingham.com arts@impactnottingham.com news@impactnottingham.com impact.travel@googlemail.com

DISCLAIMER: The views expressed in Impact are those of individual contributors and are not representative of the magazine, Students’ Union or University.

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> famous last words adam sweeney interviews ricky wilson

When Kaiser Chief’s rambunctious Ricky Wilson sat himself opposite Adam Sweeney on a London to Leeds train service, our intrepid journo-in-the-field cobbled together writing materials for an adlib interview.

Scrawled on the back of an Upper Crust wrapper, here’s how Impact Music managed to claim another page of this magazine as their own‌

famous last words...

“When I close my eyes on the train, I’m in a black and white movie, racing across Europe to foil the Nazis, wearing a trench coat with a revolver sewn into the lining. Sadly reality’s not quite so romantic. Around me it’s just plastic chairs, with endless ‘bing-bong, hurry-up’ announcements reminding me how far I are from where I want to be.

But wait a sec, who is that in amongst the ruffians? Bing bong! It’s only bloody Ricky from the Kaiser Chiefs. ‘We will arrive in Leeds in 3hrs’ blurts the tannoy. Girlfriend is asleep,

I suppose I had better pass the time chatting to this pop star chappie. Leeds‌business or pleasure, I ask him. “I live there,â€? he states, making me the dumbass. “I’m travelling between London and Leeds a lot currently, cos we’re mixing the new album.â€?

The exchange continues, the best of which I scrawl on my sandwich wrapper, imagining the day I type it up for an Impact Exclusive. “Since we stopped touring, I haven’t had much to do‌I’ve been on tour with We Are Scientists.

I got bored, ended up stocking their fridge for them.�

Any memories of Nottingham? “At Stealth we had our first stage invasion. It was scary. Not as scary as your trams though, you never know when they’re coming!â€? Suddenly aware of the strange situation and my potentially stalkerish demands for conversation, I force the blame on him, as travelling by train is hardly rock’n’roll‌ “It’s cheaper than a helicopter! It’s the fastest

and cheapest way I can get home, so I take it.�

As our destination draws closer, Ricky talks cynically of the city’s New Music Buzz. “It’s just A&R focus – it’s not good for bands to get signed just because they’re from Leeds.

Location isn’t a genre. But it’s good to promote new acts - we put on Black Wire’s first gig.

That’s how I Predict a Riot came about – it was getting crazy, and the bouncers started to look uppity. Nick turned to me and said, ‘I predict a riot.’ It’s amazing how something you say in a club one night can change your life‌financially, anyway.â€?

Girlfriend wakes up and my pen runs out, so I leave him alone. That killed plenty of time and I got a scoop! Bing-Bong. “We will arrive in Leeds in 2 hours.� *Sigh*

UDBQN*