Impact Magazine - Issue 191 - Sep 08

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welcome

IMPACT GUIDES YOU DOWN THE RABBIT HOLE OF UNIVERSITY LIFE

love at first sight ADVICE FOR ENTERING RELATIONSHIPS IN HALLS

Hicham Yezza EXPLORING THE TERROR ARRESTS ON CAMPUS

issue 191 sept ’08

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Welcome to Nottingham. If you’ve just arrived here, you have a lot to look forward to. Before long, you’ll be on your first night out with the beautiful people in your corridor, guided along by your watchful week one reps. You’ll have your first greasy hall dinner, or the first lunch you can rustle up with your fellow freshers in your flat. You’ll learn the differences between Ocean and Oceana, but that they’re really all the same. And you’ll experience the joys of sitting in a morning lecture with a hangover, staring down at the etchings carved into desks by students of years now past - and maybe making your own.

In between all this, you should take the chance to have a read of this magazine. We’re your official student publication, and your first port of call to learn what’s going on around campus, get advice on local music and nights out, or to read about what’s happening in the student world that’s going to affect you.

But don’t just read the magazine, write for it too. This is a new year, and we’re on the lookout for lots of budding writers, whether your speciality is investigative reporting or just reviewing your favourite nights out. And even if you’re not a writer, we’re always on the lookout for photographers and graphic designers – so get involved (you can turn to page 19 to find out how).

Things to do before the next issue: - Rescue design editor from Jordan.

- Finish compiling Wilkinson’s bicycle pump photo montage - Free Hicham Yezza - Invade a small neighbouring country - Have Nazi orgy with SRS officer - Find Bernard’s watch - Give Nigerian contact bank details - Invent

All that remains is for me to leave you with a witty and profound closing remark, but having been on campus in the sweltering heat for three days now, you’ll have to make do with this clutter on the Impact desk.

Much love,

Rob

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What are your aims for the year?

My primary aim for the year is to ensure our new JCRs, Education Networks, Representational Officers and Student Volunteering Centre are all up and running. I hope to work closely with the University to introduce a Skills Award for involvement in Students’ Union activities such as volunteering, sports and societies. One major project for next year will be to foster closer relations with our Students’ Union counterparts at our international campuses in China and Malaysia.

h)¬WOULD¬BUY¬,EYTON¬/RIENT&OOTBALL¬#LUB¬AND¬GETLOADS¬OF¬WORLD CLASS¬PLAYERSIN¬WITH¬TAXPAYERS ¬MONEYv We are especially privileged to be at the only university in the country with not just one, but two international campuses and therefore our Students’ Union is in a unique position to support the development of those in China and the Student Association in Malaysia. We can also help to create opportunities so that our student groups and clubs are able

to benefit from linking up with similar student groups at these campuses.

Will you be leading change or enabling continuation?

I don’t think that the two are mutually exclusive. We can have both. There is a lot that the Students’ Union does which is excellent and should be encouraged. For example, we have the biggest studentrun charity organisation in Europe (if not the world) in Karnival as well as the biggest Union election turnout in the country. However, we will need to adapt our internal structures and improve upon the way in which we communicate to make sure that we stay relevant to all of our members.

Why do you think that students have chosen you as their president?

It’s hard to answer a question like this without sounding arrogant! I like to think that I was elected because of my willingness to pursue change on particular issues, directly engaging with thousands of students along the way.

Activism on the ground goes quite some way to getting a result and I urge more of the same next year!

If you were Prime Minister tomorrow, what is the first thing you would do?

I would buy Leyton Orient Football Club and get loads of world-class players in with taxpayers’ money. Or alternatively, I would pass legislation to increase funding for higher education so students aren’t burdened with tuition fees and debt.

#HEMISTRY¬BOFl¬NS¬CREATE¬EXPLOSIVE¬HIT¬ON¬9OU4UBE Chemists from the University of Nottingham have caught worldwide attention by bringing entertaining science to the public through their ‘Periodic Table of Videos’ website.

The site has received attention from thousands of viewers, among them Richard Dawkins and Nobel Laureate Sir Harry Kroto. The Nottingham group of academics, including a former Nobel Prize winner, have posted clips relating to every element of the periodic table. Many of the videos demonstrate explosive experiments considered too dangerous to be performed in schools. A clip of sodium fizzing violently and igniting received over 35,000 hits in the first week after it was posted, and the group’s channel was

recently voted #2 most subscribed in the United Kingdom.

The idea for the set of 118 videos was sparked by BBC journalist Brady Haran, who had previously made a documentary about a year in the life of the university scientists. Internationally renowned chemist Professor Martyn Poliakoff, a ‘pioneer in the field of green chemistry,’ said the clips were designed to boost interest in the subject. Dr. Peter Licence, a lecturer known to many Nottingham students for his explosive practical demonstrations, is said to have ‘jumped at the chance to blow some stuff up in the name of education.’

Dr Licence commented that the aim

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of the clips is to re-ignite a passion for science in people and to think of it as a potential line of education and employment. ‘It shows people that it’s not the boring dry subject that people think it is.’

On YouTube, the clips have been so popular that the group is considering a compilation DVD. As well as continuing to improve the videos with ‘better samples and bigger experiments,’ the scientists also plan to make extra clips to keep the public ‘informed and entertained.’

To see the videos, visit www.youtube.com/periodicvideos, or visit the main website at www.periodicvideos.com.

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0ALESTINIAN¬STUDENT¬LEAVES¬'AZA¬FOR.OTTINGHAM¬AFTER¬SEVEN YEAR¬WAIT After seven years of attempts to leave Gaza and study abroad, a Palestinian student has finally been granted permission by Israeli authorities to begin a course at the University of Nottingham this year.

31 year old Wissam Abu’ajwa of Gaza city is now set to begin a Masters in Environmental Sciences, after missing his place last year on the same course. In 2007, having received a full scholarship, he was unable to begin the Nottingham Masters degree after essentially every border crossing the Gaza strip was closed.

Mr Abu’ajwa applied on several occasions to leave Gaza and continue his study at institutions in Israel and Germany where he had been offered places. All requests to leave the blockaded area were refused by Israeli authorities. It is understood that Tony Blair, currently in the position of ‘quartet representative for

the middle east,’ along with human rights groups and Nottingham Vice Chancellor Sir Colin Campbell, applied pressure on Israeli authorities to allow Mr Abu’ajwa to come to Nottingham this September.

Gisha, an Israeli human rights organisation, has stated that over a thousand Palestinian students applied to study abroad during the 2007-08 academic year. Of these applicants, Gisha reports that 480 were given permission to pursue their chosen education.

In an interview with Gisha, Mr Abu’ajwa relays how relevant his Environmental Sciences course is to aspects of the current Palestinian situation. Highlighting the extreme difficulties the region is facing he says, ‘the infrastructure here is on the verge of collapse.’

He envisages establishing a research institute in the Gaza strip in the hope of improving the heavily polluted

-ULTI MILLION¬BID¬TO¬EXPAND¬*UBILEE The University of Nottingham plans to undertake a major expansion of its Jubilee Campus in the name of science.

Despite the economic downturn currently hampering the country, the University of Nottingham have taken an ‘optimistic’ approach to developing areas of science and technology. The

University is going ahead with a massive expansion of its Jubilee campus in Lenton, including plans for a hi-tech industrial estate.

The campus has recently become home to Aspire, the UK’s tallest freestanding structure. The spire cost a huge £800,000, money donated to the University from an ‘anonymous benefactor.’ Land has been acquired near the university sports ground which lies to the west of the Jubilee campus, and will host the first phase of the University’s Innovation Park. Work is already underway on a ten-acre plot.

The work is said to total £200m and the university intends to push ahead with

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environment, benefiting local communities and the region at large.

h4HE¬INFRASTRUCTURE¬HERE¬ISON¬THE¬VERGE¬OF¬COLLAPSEv The absence of an indiscriminate Israeli education policy for Palestinians rests on concerns regarding Hamas, the LA Times reports. As an Israeli official states, it is believed that an education abroad can be used by Hamas as a method of sending loyalists to the West Bank.

Speaking to The Independent, director of Gisha, Sari Bashi, said: ‘A few lucky students are being plucked out of Gaza with tweezers, while Israel continues to close the borders as part of a policy of collective punishment that is trapping 1.5 million people, including hundreds of talented students.’

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the master plan that was first unveiled in 2004.

One owner of land on the corner of Ilkeston Road and Triumph Road said, ‘We have been approached in the last two months.’ The total cost of the land is thought to be over £5m.

The expansion will create the city’s largest science park, intended to give a major boost to Nottingham’s ambition to be a top science city. The University’s planned expansion will affect existing companies such as Imperial Tobacco and Dairy Crest, two significant employers on Triumph Road.

The University may face a struggle to assemble the land required as a spokesman for Imperial Tobacco said: ‘All of our warehouses are in use and we need them. They are not currently for sale.’

.OTTINGHAM¬ACADEMICS ¬ACHIEVEMENTS¬RECOGNISED In recent months staff at the University of Nottingham have received a flurry of awards and been included in prestigious national programmes in recognition of their work.

The 2008 Shaw Prize for Life Science and Medicine, known as ‘the Nobel of the East’ in recognition of groundbreaking academic and scientific accomplishments, has been attributed to a Nottingham academic. Professor Keith Campbell, who was instrumental in the creation of Dolly the Sheep, has been named joint winner of this year’s award for his pioneering work in stem cell research.

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Professor Richard James, a ‘superbug’ expert and head of the School of Molecular Medical Sciences, has also received an international award. He was presented with the Communications Award from the Society for Applied Microbiology, which recognises people who have raised the profile of their work.

James stated that, ‘as scientists who receive public money to support our research it is incumbent on us to seek to inform a wider audience on what we do and why we do it.’

Several members of staff have also been honoured by their inclusion in programmes of national historical and legal importance. Professor Matthew Jones, of the University’s School of American and Canadian Studies, has been appointed to a fouryear government project to write a comprehensive history of the Chevaline programme, which referred to nuclear plans in the Cold War era. As a Cabinet Office official historian, Professor Jones

!LL¬CHANGE¬FOR¬.OTTS¬TRAIN¬STATION Following calls from the council, train operators and MPs, there is growing demand for widespread improvements to Nottingham train station. The work - totalling an estimated £19 million - will focus on updating the signalling system introduced in the late 1960s. It is claimed that these upgrades will help to cut delays and improve the station’s capacity, although plans have yet to be approved.

According to Councillor Jane Urquhart these changes will form part of a longer-

term programme of improvements, ‘what we’d like to do over the next few years, is increase the capacity of the station and increase the reliability of the services that we currently have.’ This includes a total overhaul of the design of Nottingham station and the tracks between the city and London, with completion planned for 2011 at a cost of £55m. It is likely that the scores of University students who regularly travel between Nottingham and the capital will welcome these improvements.

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will have unprecedented access to government documents and archival sources. This is a prospect at which he is understandably highly enthused, stating that: ‘this is a unique and exciting opportunity to investigate and compile the authoritative history of one of the most controversial programmes of postwar British defence policy.’

Similarly, Professor Paul Fenn, of the Nottingham University Business School, has been appointed by the Ministry of Justice to scrutinise the ‘no win, no fee’ arrangements in England and Wales. Alongside a team of experts he will help to research the current system following concerns that they work against the interests of the public and do not provide justice. Professor Fenn said: ‘The emergence of no win, no fee agreements has generated much debate. We believe there is a pressing need for independent, objective research to inform policy in relation to this debate.’

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.EWS¬IN¬"RIEF ,ENTON¬POOL¬RE OPENSWITH¬A¬SPLASH September 5th saw the grand opening of a saved community swimming pool at The Lenton Centre. £40 000 worth of repairs have just been carried out to ensure the pool is up to scratch.

Chief executive Carl Towner said: ‘The swimming pool is the thing that galvanised the local community into action nearly four years ago. The pool looks fantastic. I can’t wait for it to open to the public.’

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7ELCOME¬TO¬THE¬NEW¬3TUDENTS ¬5NION¬%XEC We asked the new exec to introduce their roles and explain what they expect to get up to in the name of the Union this year…

Alice Townend - Community Officer I am here to represent student interests in the wider community, such as providing volunteering opportunities (I sit in the new Student Volunteer Centre), quality accommodation (by working with Unipol) and improving crime prevention. The Community Officer’s role is to ensure that students get the very best out of the places they live in by improving our relationship with permanent residents, developing student input in the community and promoting the positive impact that students make.

I want to see more involvement from students in our community and I will be promoting the positive affect that students have upon it; for example, through volunteer work. I want to continue the good work of both the Sshh! and I Heart Notts campaigns and make their presence more prominent. I will also work with Unipol, the City Council and local community groups to continually improve the areas that we live in.

‘Crouchy’ – Societies Officer My role is to facilitate and encourage the development of existing societies and guide new societies through the affiliation process (and to mess around in the Student Activities Office!)

One of my aims this year is to successfully implement the new system of signing up to societies using the SU website. Hopefully the online presence of societies will mean that obtaining information and joining a society is much easier, leading to more participation. Another aim is to give more guidance to society committees so that they can effectively tap into the huge pool of sponsorship money that is potentially available to them.

Stu Bailey - Student-Run-Services Officer My job has two functions, firstly supporting and strategically developing each of the 10 student-runservices (SRSs), from backing the WeekOne Exec to throw the biggest and best WeekOne in the world, to boosting the impact (deliberate pun) of our awesome award-winning student media (Impact, URN, NUTS). The second thing I’m here to do is represent all you guys who get involved in an SRS to the Students’ Union, University and rest of the world. A couple of big things in the past have been protecting the New Theatre from exterior redevelopment and RAG raids from security! Get involved with your SRSs, never again will there be so much to do - find your favourite tunes in CDRL, get on the radio with URN or TV with NUTS, pick up a phone at Nightline, debate with Forum, 7-leg it with Karni...plus much, much more. Go on, jump to it!

Paul Lloyd – Athletic Union Officer The sporting opportunities available at Nottingham make up an integral part of the whole student experience. There is a diverse array of sport available at the University and these cater to all levels of sporting abilities. Last year we came 6th in the overall University sports ranking, missing out on the top 5 by only 5 points and we have also sent several students to the Olympics in Beijing. My role as AU Officer involves supporting AU clubs to ensure this continued success. I also run the intra-mural sports programme, which is arguably the strongest in the country, amongst other things. We are currently working on getting a fruit and veg stall to come to University Park every week, offering another way to stay healthy at the University.

Hannah White – Welfare Officer It’s a pretty broad job; from complaints about food in halls and campaigning on mental health issues to working with the new JCRs. JCR changes (they’re now all under the SU) are the area that is going to occupy the majority of my time, especially in the first few months. But I also want to establish the campaigns better, because some people tend to roll their eyes when it comes to welfare. Rather than just highlight dangers, the plan for the welfare network is to make it fun and interesting - promoting the good things. Jen started this really well last year with a smoothie bike during Healthy Living week. The most obvious example is Easy Tiger, who goes out in Week One partying and dancing, living proof that you don’t have to be drunk to have a good time!

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4HEÂŹ$EBATEÂŹ &ROMÂŹTHEÂŹ,EFT Professor Scott Lucas This is not a question of ‘access (to) and research (of) terrorist materials.’ No page or picture frame or moving image is ‘terrorist’ in and of itself. It is how that material is used to fan the flames of division and hostility that can lead to acts of violence. The problem was never the typeset pages of Mein Kampf; rather, it was in the use of those pages to justify bigotry, racism, war and genocide...

Vice-Chancellor, do you think that, through your denial of texts to us, you make us safer? Do you think that, by denying us our ability to think, consider, criticise, you shelter us from harm? Do you think that you protect us from ourselves and prevent us from becoming extremists?

Letter signed by five University of Nottingham academics The idea that it was not appropriate for a non-academic member of staff to be in possession of the document should be considered in light of the fact that the document was openly available to the general public. The idea of inappropriateness suggests a narrow interpretation of intellectual freedom for those who are not authorised academics and registered students.

University managers appear reluctant to concede that a non-academic might legitimately possess open source documents, here a former longstanding student writing regularly for student papers on current affairs and free speech. Citizen journalists and bloggers beware!

Sally Hunt, General Secretary of the UCU We believe the implications of Sir Colin’s statement constitute a serious threat to academic freedom. We have written to the Higher Education Minister seeking urgent clarification about the current anti-terrorism legislation and its relationship to freedom of academic inquiry.

(ASÂŹACADEMICÂŹ FREEDOMÂŹBEENÂŹ ATTACKED %XCERPTSÂŹFROMÂŹTHEÂŹ ONGOINGÂŹDEBATEx What happened?

On May 15 2008, two university members - a student and a member of staff - were arrested under the Terrorism Act (2000) because they possessed copies of the ‘Al-Qaeda Training Manual’ which had been downloaded from the United States Department of Justice website.

An extended version of the same document is available for sale in book form on Amazon.com.

The student, a member of the university’s Politics and International Relations department, was researching terrorism for his postgraduate studies and was being advised by a friend of his, who was a former student and administrative member of staff. Both men were held in police custody for six days before being released without charge. (See ‘Hicham Yezza’ on p16 for more on this story.)

The Terrorism Act (2000) stipulates that:

@!ÂŹPERSONÂŹCOMMITSÂŹ ANÂŹOFFENCEÂŹIFÂŹHEÂŹ POSSESSESÂŹANÂŹARTICLEÂŹ INÂŹCIRCUMSTANCESÂŹ WHICHÂŹGIVEÂŹRISEÂŹTOÂŹAÂŹ REASONABLEÂŹSUSPICIONÂŹ THATÂŹHISÂŹPOSSESSIONÂŹ ISÂŹFORÂŹAÂŹPURPOSEÂŹ CONNECTEDÂŹWITHÂŹ THEÂŹCOMMISSION ÂŹ PREPARATIONÂŹORÂŹ INSTIGATIONÂŹOFÂŹANÂŹACTÂŹOFÂŹ TERRORISM

&ROMÂŹTHEÂŹ2IGHT University Portal, May 19, 2008 Where individual or group action unsettles the harmony of the campus, the University is committed to working through established channels to reinforce the values and standards that underpin a diverse and tolerant environment.

University Portal, May 25, 2008 All members of the University can be reassured that we take very seriously our duty to ensure that students and staff are free to study and work in a safe, secure and tolerant environment.

There are many ways in which we all work to deliver such conditions and to ensure that everyone at Nottingham is able to enjoy freedom of speech and expression within the law.

Sir Colin Campbell, Vice-Chancellor The University had to make a risk assessment: no panic, no hysteria, just a straightforward risk assessment ...

Much has been said on the matter of academic freedom. The University of Nottingham has always fully embraced this principle and continues to do so.

It is clear that there is no ‘right’ to access and research terrorist materials.

Those who do so run the risk of being investigated and prosecuted on terrorism charges. Equally, there is no ‘prohibition’ on accessing terrorist materials for the purpose of research.

Those who do so are likely to be able to offer a defence to charges (although they may be held in custody for some time while the matter is investigated).

This is the law and applies to all Universities, including this one.

University Portal, June 3, 2008 The police spent six days investigating this matter. They had to examine substantial quantities of information and also establish the nature and scope of the relationships and sequence of events ... The investigations concluded with police satisfied they understood why this material had been sent to a clerical member of staff. Both individuals were then released without charge.

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3PORT 4ENNIS¬/PEN¬#LOSED¬TO¬.OTTINGHAM some of the world’s best players on their doorstep, with previous winners including Richard Gasquet, Sebastian Grosjean and Britain’s own Greg Rusedski.

However, as of next year the tournament will cease to exist. The Lawn Tennis Association (LTA), Britain’s tennis governing body, has announced that the event shall be moved to Eastbourne.

The development officer for the West Bridgeford Tennis Club, Lesley Whitehead, has described the decision as a loss that will be felt across the city.

Richard Gasquet

As Whitehead recently articulated in the Nottingham Evening Post the event offers a great deal more than simply an opportunity to watch world class tennis.

Whitehead explained that local children “have received mini tennis coaching in a fun environment from local LTA qualified coaches and have been able to mill around the outside courts to get a glimpse of the world-ranked players they

The Nottingham Tennis Open, played every summer in the week immediately preceding the Wimbledon fortnight, has become an integral part of the grass court season. Since its inception in 1995, Nottingham locals have been treated to

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#HARLIE¬%CCLESHARE might dream of becoming”. The club also offers local youngsters the opportunity to be ball girls and ball boys for the event whilst older club members have volunteered to perform a range of jobs, from selling programmes to stewarding.

Being a keen tennis fan myself and having been lucky enough to work at the All England Club during the Wimbledon fortnight, I have experienced first-hand the huge excitement of being a part of a top-flight tennis tournament. The loss of the Nottingham Open will be as great a loss to the tennis viewing public as it will be to those lucky enough to work at the tournament in the presence of so many world class tennis players.

Whitehead’s lamentations in the Evening Post it should be noted scarcely led to an outpouring of grief. Indeed the only response on the newspaper’s website seemed more concerned with the standard of the event’s food than with the loss of the event itself. Perhaps the loss will only be fully felt next year on a gloriously sunny June day when nothing would be more appealing than watching a hard-fought tennis match between some of the world’s best players.

.OTTINGHAM¬3CIENTISTS¬-AKE¬A¬ 3MALLER ¬3PLASH Nottingham experts in Computational Fluid Dynamics (CFD) have played a large part in the development of a swimsuit worn by Rebecca Adlington, Britain’s first female Olympic swimming champion in 48 years. Rebecca, from Mansfield, won gold in the Women’s 400m freestyle and is amongst 50 others to set records wearing the Speedo LZR Racer swimsuit.

The suit, which was tested in NASA wind tunnels, owes much of its physics to Nottingham University research departments headed by Dr Herve Morvan.

Olympic winner Rebecca Adlington The ultra-

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tight swimsuit has brought a new edge to the sport, and the effectiveness of the swimsuit is such that the sports federation, which ensures equal opportunities between athletes, has stipulated that it should be available to all swimmers at Beijing, resulting in Speedo taking 3000 with them. Speedo claim that drag reduction and the forcing of correct swimming posture are the result of four years’ research into the specialised fabric. However flattering or fattening the LZR may be, Rebecca Adlington will certainly be thankful to our very own scientists who have produced something truly revolutionary, a universally acclaimed instrument for smashing records. Don’t, however, expect to be seeing it on the beaches; with a price tag of £320 it’s only for the hardcore swimmers. Plus, I don’t think they have it in my size.

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The new Speedo LZR Racer swimsuit

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As another sporting year begins, many of those competing at the University of Nottingham will be hoping that university sport will act as a springboard towards professional success. With the first issue of the year, Impact Sport has decided to profile a selection of sporting alumni for current students to aspire to - a list ranging from table tennis players to canoeists, skeleton bobsleighers to cricketers.

Our first success story is British skeleton racer Kristan Bromley, nicknamed “Dr.Ice” by the British media after graduating in 1994 with a BEng in Mechanical Design, Materials and Manufacture and earning his Ph.D. in Materials Engineering.

In November 1999, Bromley became the first British man to win a Skeleton World Cup race, achieving the feat in Calgary, Canada, before going on to claim the overall World Cup title in both 2003-04 and 2007-08. In addition to his World Cup success, Bromley has acquired three European Championship golds, as well as claiming Britain’s first gold medal at the FIBT World Championships since 1965. This makes him the first bob skeleton slider to win all three major competitions.

To those familiar with BBC’s rugby coverage, the voice of Brian Moore has become almost synonymous with England’s recent fortunes. It was at the University of Nottingham where Moore began his rugby career, enjoying success with the rugby 1st XV, most notably at Twickenham in the final of the British Universities rugby championship.

Moore enjoyed an illustrious playing career, representing Harlequins, Leeds, Nottingham and Richmond, as well as winning 64 caps for England and six more for the British Lions. He played in the 1991 World Cup final against Australia at Twickenham – the same year that he was elected Rugby World Player of the Year – and was part of the England squad that won the much coveted Five Nations ‘grand slam’ in 1991, 1992 and 1995.

While those mentioned already have all started off their illustrious careers at the University of Nottingham, it was to complete a master’s degree at the end of her career in 2002 that brought Deng Yaping to grace University Park with her presence. Although an almost unknown name to most people in Britain, the former table tennis star possesses a David Beckham-esque status in her

native China where she was voted Chinese Athlete of the Century in 2003.

Despite an early retirement at the young age of 24, Deng had managed to rack up four Olympic gold medals, 18 World Championship golds, and had retained a hold on the World Number One title for 8 straight years. Such success was a far cry from her rejection from the Chinese National Team at the age of 13 for being too short at just 4’11”.

A five year break in his West Indies Test Match career allowed Deryck Murray to complete the small task of an Industrial Economics degree at the University of Nottingham in 1972.

As well as captaining the University First XI and the Universities Athletic Union, the Trinidadian represented both Nottinghamshire and Warwickshire during his professional career.

Deng Yaping

An understated wicketkeeper, Murray claimed 181 catches and scored just shy of 2000 runs for his country in a test career spanning 62 matches.

He was also a member of two World Cup winning teams before going onto become an International Match Referee.

At the time of publication it will be apparent whether Tim Brabants, another Nottingham alumnus, has fulfilled expectations as one of Britain’s brightest hopes of a gold medal at the Beijing Olympics this summer.

Brabants is the current World and European KI 1000m canoe champion, after a return to the sport following a break to complete his medical studies at Nottingham in 2005. Bronze at the Sydney Olympics was followed by a disappointing fifth place four years later in Athens but results in 2007 saw him claim four international gold medals, including his World Championship title.

As if striving to win an Olympic gold medal was not time consuming enough, Brabants also works part- and occasionally full-time as a doctor.

Tim Brabants

11

Welcome to our Wonderland

D

aydreaming is one of life’s great pleasures: mid-afternoon’s random thoughts invade rational minds and manifest themselves into little pseudodreams; a figment of an otherwise under-stimulated imagination. It’s a delightful little form of escapism. I indulge in these random thoughts as if they were hot cakes with massive ‘EAT ME’ labels on them. Amongst other things I wonder what other people are thinking, dreaming of an insight into their dream. Here’s an insight into mine: Welcome to our Wonderland.

For a while now, possibly due to an extreme love of Lewis Carroll’s novel as a child, university life to me has seemed like a wonderland. Not only is it a sumptuous green kingdom of friendly squirrels and talking ducks (wait, is that just me?) but it’s a world devoid (almost, at least) of the normal laws of society: no adults, no curfews…no…rules?

“A world devoid of the normal laws of society” Falling into this crazy land is like falling, by your own aversion, headfirst into one hell of a rabbit hole: the whole experience is intriguing, confusing, and more than a little odd. You emerge in a land full of mad hatters and smiling Cheshire cats (Week one reps), who introduce you to the wonderful world of nights out in Nottingham and feed you all forms of alcohol - beware of ‘Karni Cocktail’. Do not be fooled into thinking that ‘pound a pint’ is an enticing label of promise that translates to ‘DRINK ME’. This stuff is poison: copious drinkage encourages

0AINTING¬PREVIOUS¬PAGE ¬%MI¬$AY

14

phrases such as ‘I can’t get out at the door – I do wish I hadn’t drunk quite so much’ – but, unlike Alice, you do not have the excuse that you have grown too much to fit out. The door has not moved. You are no larger.

You simply cannot see the door any more. Luckily or not, the reprobate influences of freshers’ reps promptly disappear at freshers’ week’s denouement, their smiles remaining in the miscellaneous week-one-romp pictures, but their presence fading into insignificance.

At some time you will feel tiny and inadequate compared to the expanse of campus and its thousands of inhabitants; you somehow feel huge when you try to squeeze into last years’ trousers (probably due to too much ‘EAT ME’ toast in the early morning). Prepare to feel lost in this strange place because of the opposite arrows on signposts that appear to lead you to the same place; asking for directions reveals an entirely different path still. You end up running around with alarm bells going off in your head, ‘I’m late! I’m late!’ and arrive at your destination only to be stared at in a scrutinising manner as if you were on trial for some atrocious crime.

After a while, you find you start to adapt to the lifestyle: Rules – gravitational, social, habitual, and, for some people, moral….are bent and twisted. It’s hard to decipher what is normal and what is actually, completely mental. English roses painted orange by fake tan cease to phase you; you begin to differentiate ostensibly similar Tweedledees in their tracksuit bottoms and messy hair from their Tweedledums, and you are (hopefully) wise enough not to follow the pack of cards every

single Friday, and grant yourself an evening devoid of the institution that is Ocean.

The beauty of a daydream is that it’s an escape, an escape from what trivialities are upsetting your brain or the jargon your lecturer is spouting.

University itself is a bit like a daydream: a way of staying young for a bit longer, a way of avoiding some of the responsibility that you might otherwise have to encounter.

“University itself is a bit like a daydream: a way of staying young for a bit longer, a way of avoiding some of the responsibility that you might otherwise have to encounter” The daydream is important – it clarifies and orders some thoughts, organises your mind, and allows you a precious moment of unadulterated childishness. What is university if not a daydream? A life from which you awake in a higher position than that you started in… but ultimately, you come away with a degree, a stepping stone onto even higher dreams and aspirations; it’s a momentary blip in your growing up, inundated with a lot of weirdness and confusion.

University is an escape, a second childhood but at the same time a personal journey: no two people have the same daydream - everyone has different aspirations, and that’s what defines us as a Mad Hatter, or a White Rabbit, or a Cheshire cat.

By Emi Day

The A-Z of Nottingham It may seem as if life has suddenly become full of a mass of new names and places which, for the moment at least, seem impossibly hard to come to grips with.

The thought of this distresses us here at Impact, and so we have put together this list aiming at making your life as a fresher that little bit easier…

A

mazing Campus – One of the largest in the country. Not a concrete jungle: a green wonderland of aesthetic pleasure - find the botanical and millennium gardens, the Lakeside Theatre and ‘Jen’s bench’ for a mini escape break.

B C D E

eeston – Small town just outside the west entrance, scout out Sainsbury’s for when hall food is border-line inedible.

rave – A rave in a cave (hence, Crave) held down by the lake – keep an eye on the pavement for chalk advertisements: believe us, you don’t want to miss this! ino’s – One of the most popular of the copious greasy food outlets. A compulsive end-of-evening pizza from Dinos bestows upon you a magical ingredient to make you feel better.

asy Tiger – Apparently, this is our mascot. Yes, we are the university whose mascot is a bright orange tiger suit. Far too many people have donned this outfit so if you are called upon to stalk people with free condoms and attack them with a hard-to-remove stamp, have a very long shower afterwards.

F G H

ried Breakfasts – During your student years, you are forgiven for using fried breakfasts as a valid way of securing some of your 5-a-day fruit and vegetables. eese – These friendly critters may look innocent enough, but avoid their hang outs unless you want to smell of goose excrement for a good while after. allward Library – Our amazing library is open 24/7. This comes in very handy when deadlines loom:

I’d recommend 3am use, when you can avoid horrendous computer queues – just stock up on sugar and bring your own mug for when the coffee machine decides to throw a fit and not give you one!

I J K L

sis – A club with a ride and a burger van inside; Thursdays become a complete no-hoper after a night on their double vodka and economy Red Bull. ubilant Squirrels – With these little things everywhere, you may be forgiven for feeling you have stumbled into a Walt Disney movie. arnival – Karni raised £688,485.15 last year alone. Considering most of this was done by getting students drunk, I believe this is a highly respectable and worthwhile cause. enton – Nestled comfortably between campus and the city, Lenton is the most popular locale for second- and third-years. With Jacksons for all your grocery needs, and the Bag ‘O Nails always open for a stiff drink, Lenton has everything you need within walking distance.

M N

ooch – The Students’ Union bar, located at the bottom of the Portland building. Campus 14s are meant to start and finish here… although finishing is a rare occurrence.

ew Theatre – The only entirely student-run theatre in England.

Quotation from Impact’s resident over-dramatic thespian on the best thing about NT: “Perhaps it’s the ostentatiousness of it all!”

O

cean and Oceana – Ocean Fridays and Oceana Mondays are certainly hard to beat for good old fashioned cheesy pop and student classics. ‘Fancy a dip?’ is the weekly call to arms for thousands of the student faithful – cheesetastic.

P

ortland Building – Home to the Student Shop, Boots and, most importantly, Chicken Joes – a cut price version of Nandos that fits on a meal card – bliss.

Q R

ueen’s Medical Centre – I hope none of you will end up here.

Unless you’re a medic, in which case I hope most of you will; in lectures of course. ag Raids –7am start. Long coach journey. Begging in fancy-dress.

Return journey with Karni cocktail literally by the bin-full. Visit new cities, raise money for charity, and have a good time in the process – just be prepared for infrequent toilet breaks on the bus ride home.

S

even-Legged Bar Crawl – Effectively getting drunk for a good cause. You get a team of seven people and tie your legs together. Suddenly usually easy undertakings such as going to the toilet and negotiating flights of stairs require extreme and precise forward planning.

T U V

rent Building - The only real reason most students go here is for the café. In fact I am pretty sure seminars don’t really compete as a reason to visit.

RN – the University of Nottingham’s award-winning student radio station. Listen online at URN1350.net. arsity – This is the yearly sports competition between the great University of Nottingham and their lesser rivals, Nottingham Trent. I would go just for the cheerleaders. The atmosphere is electric. The banter is rife.

W Y Z

ollaton Park – An excellent place to clear your head after an Ocean night out; perfect for picnics, duck feeding and Extreme Frisbee. e Olde Trip To Jerusalem – Reportedly the oldest pub in Britain (a fact which I will stubbornly defend to my death). zzz – The traditional student lie in, afternoon nap and pre going out doze.

By Sam Booth

15

It was during the exam period this summer that Rizwaan Sabir and Hicham Yezza were arrested on campus under the Terrorism Act 2000, and were held in custody for six days, before being released without charge.

A document had been found on Mr Yezza’s computer: the ‘Al-Qaeda training manual.’

I first met Hicham ‘Hich’ Yezza as a fresher, during a meeting for the political magazine he edits; it was hard not to like him. At his editorial meetings he suggests thought experiments, teases incisive ideas out of his fellow writers and debates with flair. He often shares his knowledge of philosophy, literature, politics and art, commenting perceptively at any opportunity.

When he was arrested along with Rizwaan Sabir (another familiar face on campus) we had very little idea of where they had been taken and why.

As the facts slowly seeped out, fear among his friends and many in the student population began to rise. Many among us are studying terrorism, or are Muslim, or hold strong political views.

Our two friends, similar in their religious background, their peaceful political activism and their scholarly interest in international relations were suddenly to be criminalised and associated with one of today’s greatest crimes: terrorism.

At the end of January this year Rizwaan, a post-graduate student, downloaded the Al-Qaeda manual from the United States Department of Justice website (where it remains to this day) in preparation for a PhD in radical Islam and its strategies in conjunction with the MA dissertation he was writing on the subject. He sent the document electronically to Hich, who was Principal School Administrator for the School of Modern Languages. ‘I hadn’t read it, nor printed it,’ Hich tells me. ‘I was helping Riz with the drafting and finessing of his PhD proposal.’

Five months later, the document was noticed on Hich’s office computer desktop by a colleague, who decided to report it to the Registrar’s office. The University made the decision – it is still unclear how - to immediately report this to the police. And so the counterterrorism unit arrived on campus.

Both Hich and Rizwaan were incarcerated for six days while officers impounded their computers and searched their homes and their friends’ homes. They were repeatedly interrogated - about their beliefs, their politics, their work at the University, their journalism and their friends.

Hicham tells me, ‘that someone with my track record isn’t given a chance to explain the presence of a document on his computer… something that could’ve been easily established with a five minute discussion.’

Meanwhile, a University spokesman reiterated police statements that there was ‘no risk to the university community or to the wider public.’ The police operation, he said, was ‘necessary and

The University’s ‘risk assessment’ – however ‘straightforward’ – did not seem to take into account Hich’s thirteen years in and around the University as an undergraduate, a PhD student, as

Hicham From academia to al-qaeda

reasonable.’ Without being charged, both men were eventually released.

The University has since clarified its position: ‘[We] had to make … a straightforward risk assessment. Our responsibility to University students and staff, and our public duty … led us to the conclusion that there needed to be an investigation.’ They explain that they were ‘concerned’ with Hicham’s possesion of the document and that ‘in any circumstances…discovery of such material - being held for non-academic purposes by a clerical member of staff - would prompt reasonable anxiety.’

But should such ‘anxiety,’ developing - one imagines - from perceptions of the risk of an ‘extremist threat,’ warrant the involvement of counter-terrorism police on campus? ‘It’s alarming,’

16

General Secretary of the International Students Bureau, as an elected member of the Students’ Union (SU) executive, and of the SU council. He has also been editor of two on-campus publications and was previously a member of University Senate. ‘As has been said, there was clearly no imminent or serious danger surrounding me,’ highlights Hich, ‘but many have concluded my ethnic and religious backgrounds seemed too forbidding and people didn’t want to “take any chances” in the way they would’ve done with a white, non-Muslim person.’

The government, which has issued guidelines on ‘extremism on campus’, advises universities that ‘any action taken must be a reasonable response to the perceived or actual threat and must be proportionate to the situation.

HE institutions need to be able to show that any decision has been based on

consideration of all available information and is sound.’

So what of the document itself that has caused the University such anxiety?

Available for download, or in a lengthier edition available from Amazon, excerpts from the manual can also be found at our very own Hallward library, as one lecturer testifies.

As the University rightly says, much has been said of academic freedom. In an effort to clarify the situation, the Vice Chancellor cooly explains: ‘It is clear that there is no “right” to access and research terrorist materials. Those who do so run the risk of being investigated and prosecuted on terrorism charges.

Equally, there is no “prohibition” on accessing terrorist materials for the purpose of research. Those who do so are likely to be able to offer a defence to

General Secretary of the University and Colleges Union says: ‘If we really want to tackle problems like violent extremism and terrorism then we need to be safe to explore the issues and get a better understanding. The last thing we need is people too frightened to discuss an issue or research a subject because they fear being arrested or reported.’ Academics who publicly read the manual outside the Hallward library say it is ‘boring’ rather than dangerous, whilst staff who specialise in terrorism studies have made it clear that the manual is completely appropriate to the study of terrorism. The University itself has met with Rizwaan (‘it was more like a telling off,’ he says) but apparently issued no apology in relation to any aspect of the ordeal.

I asked Rizwaan what he thinks of the University’s decisions. ‘Had the document that I’d downloaded been

Yezza terror arrests on campus

charges (although they may be held in custody for some time while the matter is investigated).’

Understandably, this statement has provoked high-profile replies. One professor writes: ‘Let it be noted: the vice-chancellor of a prominent university in Britain has caved in to the culture of fear.’ Sally Hunt,

downloaded by a Mr John Smith’, he tells me ‘and sent to a respected “clerical member” of staff with an academic nature called Kate Smith, would the university’s response have been the same? I think not!’

In this sorry tale, it seems clear who has have suffered most. Rizwaan is now questioned and searched every time he leaves the country and lives under the constant feeling of being watched; ‘I feel, despite my innocence and no charges brought against me, that people do not trust me because of the label associated with me – terrorist.’ Meanwhile, after Rizwaan and Hicham were released, Hicham was immediately rearrested under immigration charges. He was served with a fast track deportation order to Algeria,

his home country, giving him and his friends but a few days to pull together a legal team and a campaign preventing his deportation.

Alan Simpson, Nottingham South MP, stated at the time in no uncertain terms: ‘I can see no reason for an emergency deportation other than to cover the embarrassment of police and intelligence services.’ As he addressed the biggest demonstration ever on campus, delivering a rousing speech in the pouring rain, he stated unequivocally: ‘If Hich had been white - if he had been blond - he would not now be standing alone without the support of the university.’

Did the university take any action to stop the fast-track deportation? ‘A very short and anaemic letter,’ Hich tells me, ‘was belatedly sent by the Vice Chancellor to the Home Office asking for “due process”. This was after my deportation had already been stopped by my legal team. I’m very sorry to say no offers of help or support of any kind have been forthcoming from the University itself since my arrest on May 14.’ Pensively, he adds: ‘I’m hopeful that this might change.

It would be a great show of solidarity if the University authorities added their voice to those of thousands of their students and staff.’ The ‘Free Hich’ campaign has gained extensive national and international media coverage and continues as quite a phenomenon: its website has registered more than 60,000 visitors and counting.

I ask Hicham: what next? In a warm voice, he replies: ‘I urge the university authorities to adopt a more constructive approach; the University belongs to all of us and its reputation and standing are our common concern. There is now a serious issue of trust between the university authorities and the academic community that needs to be restored.’

By Camille Herreman Camille is currently an organiser in the ‘Free Hich’ Campaign (www.freehicham.co.uk)

17

)BMM T 'BJS JO -PWF BOE 8BS #Z &NJMZ "EBNT Those of us that have experienced the highs and lows of halls life will know that living in halls is like living in fast forward. Friendships, relationships, and even hatred will beautifully blossom before you have time to blink. If the idea of this sets your insides into a panic-stricken tap-dance, don’t worry. You’re not alone. In some ways, halls life is like a brief blip in reality. Not only have you been uprooted from everything and everybody you hold near and dear, but suddenly you find yourself living with strangers in exactly the same situation. However, once all of the awkward and shuffling hellos and how are yous are out of the way, you start to appreciate the plethora of fascinating and varied people within your community.

hands of frenzied freshers, with one aim, during that first week.

However, once the excitement of Freshers’ Week has calmed somewhat, hall life will begin to settle into a more stable rhythm. It is at this point that you will inevitably notice couples (rather than casuals) sprouting up around you. For many people, life on the relationship front really begins at University. Though inhall couples are common, the harsh truth is that it rarely works out. When asked, many ‘been-there, done-that’ students simply shake their heads and mutter between themselves.

There’s little point in skirting around the fact that such situations are tricky, to say the least. In any relationship it is important to spend time apart, developing friendships as well as ‘being a couple.’ When couples And then there’s Freshers’ Week. are in the same halls, however, this Let’s face it. The majority of us do major building block of a successful not come to University to get down relationship is often hard to achieve.

After all, you’re living, to the grind from the first partying and (of moment.

There’s course) working in socialising, the same place. partying and A relationship the occasional It does not take Einstein to that would have close encounter taken several (winkwink) that guess why Easy Tiger stuffs months to solidly embellishes so many free condoms Freshers’ Week; establish in the into the hands of frenzied ‘outside world,’ is a week dedicated suddenly launched to making freshers freshers full throttle within a feel as much a part of matter of weeks, in the the university community cocoon of the hall. In a matter as possible. When people take of days or weeks, those shy little those initial steps on campus, they glances across the pool table can do so with individual expectations… some more desirable than others. become an intrinsic involvement in A perfectly decent and morally each other’s lives. righteous person can reboot into FAF mode the moment they realise they’re Exciting, fast-moving and explosive? surrounded by multitudes of the Yes, but equally volatile in the long opposite sex (and if you don’t know run. In many cases, the glamour of what FAF means, congratulations, being in such close quarters quickly you remain uncorrupted). It does not fades, and unless time is balanced take Einstein to guess why Easy Tiger wisely between friends and partners, stuffs so many free condoms into the in-hall couples swiftly feel the strain.

18

Sadly, too, the halls environment makes cheating or becoming bored with somebody very easy. Any such strains can bring out the ugly side of even the most fabulous of people, and you can find yourself dating a stranger. If the worst should happen, both parties can be left with the unbearable nails-scratching-a-board awkwardness of running into each other. Equally distressing is having the wider community discussing the juicy details. Worst of all? Witnessing the other moving on. So, in an environment where the likelihood of the relationship working out is about as probable as a flying pig, why do so many hall-dwellers choose to take the plunge, year after year, despite all the advice to the contrary?

Well life, they say, is for living. There’s no point in advising those new to halls life to avoid shacking up with their fellow roomies. It will happen. The advantage of living away from home is that you’re given breathing space to make your own mistakes and learn from them. So with this in mind, and the inescapability of in-halls relationships springing up regardless of the warnings, try to remember these three pieces of advice: Firstly, if problem-free coupledom is what you’re after, take time to get to know somebody; a relationship does not have to travel at the pace of a rocket just because you’re in close quarters. Secondly, take time to make friends. Genuine, fun, brilliant friends.

These people will be your faithful leaning posts, should you find your relationship tumbling from the stars to the shit in a matter of weeks. Most importantly, have fun! You don’t want to spend your year in halls avoiding or arguing with somebody that you’ve only recently met; you should be having fun with them, and everybody else! It’s not much to remember, but it will help you and that special someone to keep that close connection.

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!¬ KEY¬ IDEA¬ FOR¬ THE¬ GROUP¬ IS¬ TO¬ TAKE)N¬ THE¬ LAST¬ FEW¬ YEARS ¬ THE¬ IDEA¬ HASACTION¬ THEMSELVES ¬ AND¬ NOT¬ TO¬ WAIT4HE¬7OLLATON¬AREA¬IS¬ONE¬LOCATION¬FOR¬THE.OTTINGHAM¬TRANSITION¬TOWNS¬INITIATIVE SPREAD¬ FAST ¬ 4O¬ DATE ON¬ PRESSURING¬ OTHERSTHERE¬ARE¬ ¬TRANSITIONTO¬ ACT¬ FOR¬ THEM ¬ @!¬ LOTINITIATIVES¬IN¬EXISTENCE OF¬ PEOPLE¬ TRY¬ TO¬ GETAND¬ BY¬ THE¬ TIME¬ YOUCENTRAL¬ GOVERNMENT¬ ORREAD¬ THIS¬ THERE¬ WILLLOCAL¬GOVERNMENT¬TO¬DOALMOST¬ CERTAINLY¬ BETHINGS ¬SAID¬0AUL ¬@4HEMORE ¬ .OTTINGHAM¬ ISTRANSITION¬ MOVEMENTALREADY¬ AMONG¬ THEM ISABOUTDOING0EAK¬OIL¬IS¬THE¬IDEA¬THAT¬GLOBAL¬OIL¬PRODUCTION¬WILL¬REACHAND¬ )¬ SPOKE¬ TO¬ SOMETHINGSYOURSELF IT SA¬HIGH¬POINT¬BEFORE¬ENTERING¬IRREVERSIBLE¬DECLINE ¬4HISOF¬ THE¬ LOCALS¬ TO¬ lNDABOUT¬ PEOPLE¬ ANDMEANS¬THAT¬WHAT S¬IMPORTANT¬IS¬NOT¬WHEN¬WE¬RUN¬OUTOUT¬ WHAT S¬ GOING¬ ONCOMMUNITIES¬ WORKINGOF¬OIL ¬BUT¬WHEN¬WE VE¬USED¬ABOUT¬HALF¬OF¬IT ¬7HEN¬THISHERE TOGETHER¬ TO¬ ACHIEVEHAPPENS ¬DEMAND¬WILL¬BEGIN¬TO¬OUTSTRIP¬SUPPLY ¬WHILECHANGE¬ AT¬ A¬ GRASS REMAINING¬SOURCES¬OF¬OIL¬BECOME¬INCREASINGLY¬DIFlCULT¬TOROOTS¬ LEVEL ¬ !NDEXTRACT @)N¬ .OTTINGHAM¬ IT STHE¬ PEOPLE¬ )¬ SPOKE¬QUITE¬ HARD ¬ BECAUSETO¬ SEEMED¬ TO¬ lNDIT S¬ OBVIOUSLY¬ SUCH¬ ATHIS¬ AN¬ EMPOWERING4HE¬RESULT¬OF¬THIS¬IS¬GREATLY¬HIGHER¬AND¬MORE¬VOLATILELARGE¬ CITY ¬ SAID¬ 0AULEXPERIENCE ,IESEOIL¬PRICES ¬AND¬EVENTUALLY¬SCARCITY¬OF¬SUPPLY ¬3INCE¬OIL¬IS0AINE ¬ ONE¬ OF¬ THE3HEPPARD¬ SAID ¬ @THISUSED¬IN¬SO¬MANY¬SECTORS¬OF¬THE¬ECONOMY¬n¬TRANSPORT FOUNDING¬ MEMBERSWORK¬ STRENGTHENS¬ ORENERGY ¬FOOD¬PRODUCTION ¬PLASTICS ¬PHARMACEUTICALS OF4RANSITIONPOSSIBLYREINSTATESELECTRONICS ¬AND¬SO¬ON¬n¬THE¬IMPACT¬OF¬THIS¬IS¬THOUGHT¬TO.OTTINGHAM ¬ @7HATCOMMUNITYFEELING BE¬SEVERE ¬!DVOCATES¬OF¬THE¬THEORY¬BELIEVE¬THAT¬THERE¬AREWE REDOINGISOFTEN¬ IN¬ PLACES¬ WHERENO¬ADEQUATE¬ENERGY¬ALTERNATIVES ¬AND¬THAT¬THEREFORE¬THEBREAKINGTHINGSIT¬ HAD¬ BEEN¬ LOST¬ ORGLOBAL¬ECONOMY ¬WITH¬CHEAP¬GOODS¬REACHING¬US¬FROM¬ALLDOWN ¬ AND¬ UNDER¬ ANEGLECTED ¬ )N¬ FACT OVER¬THE¬WORLD ¬WILL¬CEASE¬TO¬FUNCTION¬IN¬THE¬WAY¬IT¬DOESSTEERING¬ GROUP¬ WEMOST¬ PEOPLE¬ ¬ SEEMEDTODAY HAVE¬SMALLER¬GROUPS¬INTO¬ VIEW¬ THE¬ TRANSITIONPLACES¬ LIKE¬ 7OLLATON PROCESS¬ NOT¬ AS¬ A"EESTON ¬ 3T¬ !NNS NECESSARYBURDEN 7EST"RIDGEFORD BUT¬AS¬AN¬OPPORTUNITY %STIMATES¬FOR¬THE¬TIMING¬OF¬PEAK¬OIL¬RANGE¬FROM¬THOSE¬WHO3HERWOOD AND@4HE¬ KEY¬ THING¬ IS¬ THATBELIEVE¬IT¬HAS¬ALREADY¬HAPPENED ¬TO¬THOSE¬WHO¬ARGUE¬ITSOME¬ OUTSIDE¬ THETHE¬FUTURE¬WITH¬LESS¬OILWILL¬HAPPEN¬AROUND¬ CITYBOUNDARIES COULD¬BE¬PREFERABLE¬TO4HESE¬ GROUPS¬ ARETHE¬ PRESENT ¬ SAID¬ 2OBOPERATINGAROUND(OPKINS ¬ @ INHERENT.OTTINGHAM ¬ GIVINGIN¬ THE¬ CHALLENGE¬ IS¬ ANTALKS¬ AND¬ SEMINARS ¬ 4HEY RE¬ HOLDINGEXTRAORDINARY¬OPPORTUNITY¬TO¬REINVENT SKILL SHARES¬WHERE¬THEY¬CAN¬EXCHANGERETHINK¬AND¬REBUILD¬THE¬WORLD¬AROUNDTHEIR¬ PRACTICAL¬ ABILITIES¬ WITH¬ OTHERS US ¬7HETHER¬THE¬IDEA¬WILL¬TAKE¬OFF¬ORTHE¬ IDEA¬ BEING ¬ ACCORDING¬ TO¬ ,ANCENOT¬ REMAINS¬ TO¬ BE¬ SEEN ¬ BUT¬ HERE¬ IN"ROWN¬ FROM¬ THE¬ 7OLLATON¬ AREA ¬ @TO.OTTINGHAM¬PEOPLE¬ARE¬WORKING¬HARDREGAIN¬THE¬BASIC¬SKILLS¬WHICH¬YOU¬NEEDTO¬MAKE¬THAT¬HAPPEN TO¬ SUPPORT¬ YOURSELF ¬ AND¬ TO¬ MAKESURE¬THOSE¬SKILLS¬ARE¬AVAILABLE¬LOCALLY &OR¬MORE¬INFORMATION¬ON¬4RANSITION4HEY RE¬ ALSO¬ RECLAIMING¬ UNUSED¬ LAND.OTTINGHAM ¬VISITACROSS¬THE¬CITY ¬AND¬USING¬IT¬TO¬GROWWWW TRANSITIONNOTTINGHAM ORG UK !LLOTMENTS¬ARE¬BECOMING¬INCREASINGLYFOOD¬ FOR¬ LOCAL¬ USE ¬ /N¬ 5NIVERSITYPOPULAR¬IN¬.OTTINGHAM

0EAK¬/IL

21

Hall Myths

4HIS¬ 3EPTEMBER ¬ NEW¬ FRESHERS¬ WILL ¬ AS¬ ALWAYS ¬ BE¬ DESCENDING¬ INTO¬ THE¬ TWELVE¬ HALLS¬ OF5NIVERSITY¬0ARK¬n¬WITH¬ONE¬BIG¬DIFFERENCE ¬4HIS¬YEAR ¬FOR¬THE¬lRST¬TIME ¬THE¬ACCOMMODATION¬OFlCEHAS¬SUCCUMBED¬TO¬THE¬CONSTANT¬PRESSURE¬OF¬PEOPLE¬REQUESTING¬WHERE¬THEY¬WANT¬TO¬LIVE¬AND¬HASALLOWED¬PEOPLE¬TO¬CHOOSE¬NOT¬ONLY¬THEIR¬ROOM¬TYPE¬BUT¬ALSO¬WHICH¬HALL¬THEY¬WANT¬TO¬STAY¬IN ¬4HISMEANS¬PEOPLE¬HAVE¬ACTUALLY¬CHOSEN¬TO¬STAY¬IN¬2UTLAND )F¬)¬HAD¬BEEN¬GIVEN¬A¬CHOICE¬OF¬HALL¬BEFORE¬)¬CAME¬TO¬.OTTINGHAM¬)¬WOULD¬HAVE¬NO¬IDEA¬WHICHWAS¬THE¬BEST¬HALL ¬!LL¬THE¬WEB¬LINKS¬FROM¬THE¬.OTTINGHAM¬WEBSITE¬AND¬GROUPS¬ON¬&ACEBOOK¬SAYTHE¬SAME¬ABOUT¬EACH¬HALL¬ ¬IT¬IS¬BY¬FAR¬THE¬BEST ¬AND¬YOU LL¬HAVE¬AN¬AMAZING¬TIME¬THERE

4HERE¬ARE ¬HOWEVER ¬STORIES¬AND¬MYTHS¬ABOUT¬EACH¬HALL¬WHICH¬MAY¬HAVE¬INmUENCED¬YOUR¬DECISION ¬2UTLAND¬(ALL ¬FOR¬EXAMPLE ¬HASBEEN¬ INSULTED¬ FOR¬ OVER¬ ¬ YEARS ¬ LARGELY¬ IN¬ THE¬ FORM¬ OF¬ THE¬ LONG STANDING¬ ACCUSATION¬ THAT¬ 2UTLAND¬ TAKES¬ IT¬ UP¬ THE¬ ARSE ¬ &OR¬ THISREASON ¬THE¬WEBSITE¬NOTES¬THAT¬2UTLAND¬(ALL¬IS¬KNOWN¬FOR¬ITS¬PASSION ¬CAMARADERIE¬AND¬HALL¬SPIRIT ¬!ND¬BOY¬DOES¬IT¬NEED¬IT ¬$URING&RESHERS ¬7EEK ¬WE¬WERE¬GIVEN¬VARIOUS¬JUSTIlCATIONS¬FOR¬OUR¬MERCILESS¬ABUSE¬OF¬2UTLANDERS ¬!PPARENTLY ¬ONE¬2UTLAND¬GIRL¬DIRECTLY¬ANDINDIRECTLY¬SPREAD¬CHLAMYDIA¬TO¬ ¬OTHER¬STUDENTS ¬AND¬THERE¬ARE¬ALSO¬RUMOURS¬THAT¬TWO¬MALE¬RESIDENTS¬WERE¬INTERRUPTED¬WHILE¬GETTINGUP¬CLOSE¬AND¬PERSONAL¬IN¬THE¬SHOWER ¬-ANY¬STUDENTS¬MISTAKENLY¬BELIEVE¬THAT¬2UTLAND¬WAS¬THE¬LAST¬ALL MALE¬HALLCLEARLY¬SHOWING¬THAT¬ALL¬THE¬RESIDENTS¬ENJOYED¬A¬BIT¬OF¬BUGGERY ¬4HIS¬WAS¬IN¬FACT¬(UGH¬3TEWART ¬WHICH¬REMAINEDA¬TESTOSTERONE ONLY¬ZONE¬UNTIL¬ ¬

(U¬3TU¬IS¬THE¬BIGGEST¬HALL¬ON¬CAMPUS ¬WITH¬ ¬ROOMS ¬4HIS¬SOMEWHAT¬ELITIST¬HALL¬HAS¬RELATIVELY¬WELL GROUNDED¬ SNOBBINESS ¬ HAVING¬ RECEIVED¬ A¬ ROYAL¬ VISIT¬ FROM¬ THE¬ 1UEEN¬ IN¬ ¬ !LTHOUGH¬ THEY¬ MAYHAVE¬BEEN¬GRACED¬BY¬BLUE¬BLOOD ¬WE¬HAVE¬HEARD¬FROM¬EX (USTULIGANS¬OF¬THE¬@.OTORIOUS ¬. "LOCKTHAT ¬ DESPITE¬ BEING¬ PLAGUED¬ BY¬ HIGHLY¬ IRRITATING¬ BISCUIT DEVOURING¬ MICE ¬ THEY¬ WERE¬ NOT¬ ALLOWED¬ ACHANGE¬OF¬ROOM &LORENCE¬"OOT¬WAS¬THE¬lRST¬HALL¬OPENED¬ON¬CAMPUS¬IN¬ ¬AND¬IS¬ONE¬OF¬THE¬SMALLER¬HALLS¬WITH¬ONLY¬PEOPLE ¬&AMOUS¬OLD¬"OOTERS¬INCLUDE¬THE¬INVENTOR¬OF¬$ORITOS¬ A¬FORMER¬THEOLOGY¬STUDENT ¬WHOCLEARLY¬FOUND¬HIS¬PATH¬TO¬ENLIGHTENMENT¬THROUGH¬THOSE¬CHEESY¬TORTILLA¬CHIPS¬OF¬JOY ¬.IGHTINGALE¬ISTHE¬SMALLEST¬HALL¬ON¬CAMPUS¬WITH¬ONLY¬ ¬PEOPLE ¬!¬SMUG¬.IGHTINGALE¬RESIDENT¬INFORMED¬ME¬THATALL¬THE¬ROOMS¬HAVE¬DOUBLE¬BEDS ¬WHICH¬)¬WAS¬QUITE¬ANNOYED¬ABOUT )T¬MAY¬NOT¬BE¬THE¬CASE¬THAT¬7ILLOUGHBY¬IS¬MORE¬ALCOHOL ORIENTED¬THAN¬OTHER¬HALLS ¬BUT¬IT¬IS¬SAID¬THAT¬ONE¬LEGENDARY¬7EEK¬/NE¬2EPOUT DRANK¬ ¬FRESHERS¬CONSECUTIVELY¬BEFORE¬PASSING¬OUT¬HIMSELF ¬4HOUGH¬APPARENTLY¬HE¬THEN¬SPENT¬ ¬DAYS¬IN¬HOSPITAL ¬IT¬STILL¬GIVES¬THENEW¬7ILLOBYTES¬A¬HARD¬RECORD¬TO¬BREAK !PPARENTLY ¬#AVENDISH¬IS¬HAUNTED¬BY¬THE¬GHOST¬OF¬A¬MONK ¬4HIS¬RUMOUR¬WAS¬STRENGTHENED¬WHEN¬GRAVES¬WERE¬EXHUMED¬ON¬WHAT¬HADONCE¬BEEN¬THE¬SITE¬OF¬A¬MONASTERY¬NEARBY ¬4HE¬REMAINS¬OF¬THE¬MONKS¬WERE¬RIDDLED¬WITH¬THE¬SCARS¬OF¬SYPHILIS ¬PERHAPS¬THE¬GHOSTLY#AVENDISH¬-ONK¬IS¬NOT¬AS¬HOLY¬AS¬HE¬SEEMS ¬#AVENDISH¬IS¬THE¬ONLY¬COMPLETELY¬EN SUITE¬HALL¬ON¬CAMPUS¬AND¬CLAIMS¬TO¬BE¬THE¬BESTAND¬PRICIEST ¬FOR¬THIS¬REASON ¬4HERE¬IS¬EVEN¬A¬FACEBOOK¬GROUP¬CALLED¬@#AVENDISH¬ ¬0OSH¬AND¬0ROUD ¬0ERHAPS¬SOME¬WOULD¬BE¬GLAD¬TOCOUNT¬THEMSELVES¬AMONG¬THIS¬CROWD¬n¬AS¬THEY¬SAY ¬THE¬CREAM¬RISES¬TO¬THE¬TOP ¬/THERSMIGHT¬POINT¬OUT¬THAT¬SCUM¬mOATS¬ON¬THE¬SURFACEx 4HE¬IMPRESSIVE¬#RIPPS¬(ALL¬IS¬A¬'RADE¬ ¬LISTED¬BUILDING ¬WITH¬ITS¬OWN¬CLOCK¬TOWER ¬)T SALSO¬THE¬ONLY¬HALL¬WITH¬ITS¬OWN¬GYM ¬WHICH¬RESIDENTS¬CAN¬USE¬AT¬DISCOUNTED¬PRICES ¬7EHAVE¬HEARD¬THAT¬AN¬IMPORTANT¬BENEFACTOR¬TO¬#RIPPS¬STIPULATED¬THAT¬UNLESS¬AT¬LEAST¬OF¬THE¬RESIDENTS¬WERE¬PRIVATELY¬EDUCATED¬HE¬WOULD¬WITHDRAW¬HIS¬CONTRIBUTION ¬)DON T¬THINK¬WE¬CAN¬PRINT¬THE¬STATE EDUCATED¬#RIPPS¬RESIDENTS ¬OPINIONS¬OF¬THIS 3HERWOOD¬LAYS¬CLAIM¬TO¬ONE¬OF¬THE¬MOST¬STARTLING¬HALL¬STORIES ¬7HILE¬THE¬FOUNDATIONSOF¬THE¬HALL¬WERE¬BEING¬LAID ¬BUILDERS¬WERE¬AMAZED¬TO¬UNCOVER¬THE¬NEARLY¬COMPLETESKELETON¬OF¬A¬ FOOT¬IGUANADON ¬PRESERVED¬FOR¬ ¬MILLION¬YEARS ¬4HE¬SKELETON ¬NOWON¬DISPLAY¬IN¬,ONDON S¬.ATURAL¬(ISTORY¬-USEUM ¬IS¬ONE¬OF¬THE¬BEST¬SPECIMENS¬EVERRECOVERED¬IN¬THE¬5+ !NCASTERIANS¬MAY¬NOT¬SEEM¬AS¬THOUGH¬THEY RE¬GOING¬THROUGH¬COMPLICATED¬PERSONALDILEMMAS ¬ BUT¬ STATISTICS¬ SAY¬ OTHERWISE ¬ !NCASTER¬ HAS¬ BY¬ FAR¬ THE¬ HIGHEST¬ NUMBER¬ OF¬ EX RESIDENTS¬ TOHAVE¬HAD¬SEX CHANGE¬OPERATIONS¬WITHIN¬ ¬YEARS¬OF¬GRADUATING ¬A¬MASSIVE¬ ¬HIGHER¬THAN¬THE¬NEXTCONTESTANTS ¬$ERBY¬(ALL

22

4HE¬MOST¬BIZARRE¬RUMOUR¬WE¬CAME¬ACROSS¬WAS¬THAT¬THERE¬ARE¬IN¬FACT¬OTHER¬HALLS ¬WHICH¬ARE¬NOT¬LOCATEDON¬5NIVERSITY¬0ARK ¬7E¬AT¬)MPACT¬ARE¬SHOCKED¬AND¬DISGUSTED¬THAT¬ANYONE¬WOULD¬PUT¬FORWARD¬SUCH¬ABLATANT¬FALLACY "Y¬3TEPHANIE¬(IND¬AND¬,UCY¬(AYES

I would live. As it happened, the shifts themselves were nearly as fun as the rest of the festival. They could get tedious if you’re not a little inventive, but they can be quite an experience. No one objected to our ‘length of time stood on one leg’ competitions while attempting to direct crowds of festival goers, or our races up and down the queuing barriers made more challenging by the ankle-deep mud.

It’s 5am on a freezing Saturday morning, and I’m talking to a group of stoned farmers about plagiarism. Where else could I be but Glastonbury? Even more oddly, I’m completely sober, if a little tired – and also clad in an attractive neon orange tabard and a giant see-through poncho. There is a reason for this.

Over the summer I spent large amounts of time in fields up and down the country at a variety of festivals, and all wonderfully for free – by volunteering as an Oxfam steward, you’re raising for a good cause (what would have been steward’s wages is donated to the charity) as well as living on the cheap. It’s a really brilliant way for skint students not to miss out on the festival season, but surprisingly few people know about it.

All it takes is a simple online application, a deposit which you get back if you show up for your shifts, and a reference from your last job. With one deposit you can steward at as many festivals as you like.

And they even give you meal tickets.

There is, of course, the matter of the three 8-hour shifts. It is admittedly very annoying that there’s a chance you’ll miss someone you really want to see – my Glastonbury experience was sadly lacking in Jay-Z’s hip-hoppy goodness.

But considering the other option was having paid £160 for a ticket, I figured

When I first read my Glastonbury shift schedule, I groaned to see an 11pm-7am slot. Sprinting from Amy Winehouse’s inebriated melodies to get to our post, we soon discovered the only way to fight the Arctic temperatures was to keep moving. Within a few hours, we’d made up a ‘12 Days of Glastonbury’ song (with actions) and an Oxfam dance. Myself and a friend bravely tried to teach the rest of the stewards and security guards our dance, though we probably would have had a more enthusiastic response from the cows which inhabit Glastonbury for the rest of the year. We were then relegated to the remotest stretch of car park, a fact I’m certain is completely unrelated to our spirited attempts to get the supervisors to boogie on down.

There, we reached never-before-seen levels of cold and muddiness, forcing us to regale the few passers-by with new and improved versions of the Oxfam dance. At one point the crowd watching us, in a baffled but amused way, included two people with video cameras, a car full of security guards and a tractor.

By the time we were relieved we were slightly delirious from accumulated sleep deprivation but by no means regretting our decision to sacrifice some of our festival time. My point being, it’s not hard work. Not that I’m encouraging people to slack off – but it has to be conceded there’s a limited amount of effort you can put in to saying, ‘Re-entry this way please!’ For the cost of a ticket, I’m more than happy to spend a few hours carrying out menial tasks.

The Best Things In Life Are Free

If I hadn’t heard about stewarding I would have spent the summer sat at home, lamenting my poverty, while my friends jaunted off to wondrous musical destinations. Don’t let this happen to you next summer! Embrace the neon tabard of goodness, and jaunt with the best of them!

By Lucy Hayes

23

3OPHIA¬,EVINE

4HE¬

If you look at his YouTube video, word ‘SOLD’ became emblazoned to be honest, he looks like a pretty in red upon the website’s homepage. normal guy. The appearance of no Whilst this is undeniably a very less than a sportsman who’s lived interesting story of a man attempting in Perth, Australia for around six to start afresh, and perhaps some years now. You may have heard may even commend him for his of Ian Usher, he’s become quite a notable courage, the idea of literally celebrity since he decided to auction selling your life – your possessions, off his entire life and lifestyle in one your assets, your memories, is big package – including home, cars, somewhat perplexing. Usher writes jet-ski, even introductions to his on his page that: friends and a trial run at his job – on eBay. Usher is therefore perhaps far ‘On the day it is all sold and settled from what the average man may call I intend to walk out of my front door ‘normal.’ In fact, at 44, some would with my wallet in one pocket and my even go so far passport in as to say that the other, the carpetnothing else salesman, at all and get on the originally from train with no the North East of England, is idea where in the midst I am going of a mid-life or what the crisis. However, future holds the fact that for me.’

Usher himself acknowledges Is Usher this possibility a cunning undermines marketing the claim. genius, Instead, the utilising the sale suggests resources of the internet something far Usher placed all his possessions online, including his to create deeper – an house, below. understandable an ideological desire for storm liberation. alongside a reformed life for On his website himself? Or, is he (www.alife4sale.com), Ian notes the merely burying his ‘shocking and awful head in the sand?

Can we really walk discovery,’ that away from our past ended his twelvewithout a turn of year relationship and five-year marriage. the head? The idea According to the Mail of him leaving his Online, this entailed memories behind his (now ex) wife has been previously mentioned and whilst these are Laura telling Ian that she no longer loved him. undoubtedly painful as well as good, does it not undermine life in itself? Is The auction began after what Usher it not a series of events, good and calls the ‘Hundred Days Countdown,’ bad, that make us who we are? I for running from the 22nd until the 29th one have always gone by the motto that heartbreak is necessary to learn June 2008, and on this last day the

24

¬¬0RICE¬OF¬,IFE in life, however romanticised or even self-deluding some may feel that is.

Forgive me; I’m turning into Carrie Bradshaw. I shall desist with these unremitting rhetorical questions.

More important and indeed the main theme that this article presents is the worth that we place upon our lives, our possessions and, crucially, our identity.

him in the future; however, how much of this can he actually forget?

It is notable that Usher is not distancing himself from any financial links to his previous life. Perhaps in order for him to really start a new life free from heartbreak, Ian needs financial backing; he can’t exactly wander the streets. Not only does he have in his ‘wallet’ his savings, but his earnings from the auction itself and any rewards from the publicity he has found. Does Usher therefore deem money to be a less significant reminder of who he used to be? This does nevertheless create somewhat of a paradox.

On the one hand, Usher has chosen to keep his savings as a safety net, hence suggesting that he views money only as a practical necessity. On the other, the auction in itself clearly illustrates the importance of money and the power it can hold. Imagine if we lived in a world in which, when discontent, we could actually trade lives, trade friends, even trade relatives if only our wallets would allow. Ian Usher undoubtedly brings us closer to this fantasy.

The online poll set up by Usher recorded at the end of the auction on June 29th that whilst 17, 848 people said that they would sell their life with ‘no worries,’ a massive 32, 388 said ‘no way!’ to the prospect. In a similar fashion, the age-old question was posed to friends and relatives, ‘if you were indefinitely deported to a desert island and could take only one possession, what would it be?’ stressing that the importance was not to be placed upon practicality, but instead to life so far. Whilst my boyfriend made a mockery out of my research, stating that he would take ‘copious amounts of condoms for all of the beautiful, untamed tribal women,’ others argued that they would keep musical instruments, pictures of loved ones I emailed Ian and asked what and amusements statement he was such as cards and attempting to make comedians. These through auctioning material objects off his life on eBay, seem to stem from and he replied with: the individual’s ‘I am not trying to past, simple make any type of pieces of nostalgia statement at all that make up a - it is simply about person’s interests, selling my stuff and even who they moving on.’ This are today. Usher is very interesting, clearly aims toward particularly in light Seeing a baby being born is one of the liberation from the of his latest feat.

100 goals experiences which Writing on his most he feels will constrain recent website

“I am not trying to make any type of statement at all - it is simply about selling my stuff and moving on”

(www.100goals100weeks.com), Usher states that ‘I have set myself the challenge of achieving those 100 goals over a period of 100 weeks, starting on the day I walk out of my house.’ My own critique suggests that this is all getting a little too romanticised and clichéd, goals stemming from watching a baby being born (what’s the point if it’s not your own?) to visiting to the Grand Canyon. At the time of going to print, Usher was on his way to Chamonix and Mont Blanc; hardly soul-searching experiences.

At the beginning of the article, I had a wonderfully bohemian vision of Ian Usher wondering out of his home, leaving his past troubles behind, true to the words first quoted here.

I have always felt and argued that detaching oneself entirely from our past is impossible simply by ridding ourselves of physical reminders; however, I nevertheless commended Usher for his courage and astute marketing ability. I now almost feel betrayed by the blatant agenda pushing of Ian’s latest venture. From the liberation of a man through the wonders of the internet came a trite set of tasks, serving to demoralise the philosophical questions concerning identity first raised. They still exist and are as interesting as ever, but are now far less applicable to this particular case. The public vote held online to determine the final five goals surely suggests that these are by no means 100 things that Ian wishes to do before he dies. Finally, internet users will be able to download Usher’s four-part autobiography at a small charge. No doubt Ian Usher should be nowhere short of worshipped for his entrepreneurial mindset. For me, however, the bohemian vision once held has now been ruthlessly shattered, and in its place stands an annoying publicity stunt.

25

grapevine

26

27

Last Call for Budget Holidays Emergency air supplies have been provided, the fasten seat belts sign is on and we have all adopted the brace position in order to preserve our dental records. Prepare yourself for an emergency landing as rising fuel prices could be about to cause some serious turbulence for our beloved budget holiday!

Like anyone nursing a one thousand pound, interest free, overdraft I have embraced budget airlines like the friend I always dreamed of making. From messy weekends in Amsterdam to cultural excursions in Barcelona the possibilities have seemed endless – and with the introduction of Zoom flights across the pond perhaps they are. Yet the ever-dooming credit crunch and increasing price of oil means it may be time to take up rambling.

Companies, like Ryanair and EasyJet, have indulged our travelling needs by providing flights from as little as £1 and offering other subsidiary services that left package

holidays as dead as a dodo. It seemed as if EasyHolidays were now the only way to holiday. However, the escalating price of oil may be set to put an end to our regular beanos to the continent. It has been estimated that some 5 million passengers are going to be priced out of the budget holiday market as there is a 10 percent rise in the average ticket – you guessed it, because of rising oil prices. Other, lesser known companies, like Oasis Hong Kong have already been forced to close because they just can not afford to fuel!

Yet walking through London today I see an array of Evening Standard signs telling me to not to worry that in fact Ryanair prices are going to drop! How can this be? Have Ryanair ventured to yet undiscovered sources of oil? Or are they going to use the age-old tactic of stripping even more luxuries from their flights so that eventually we are all packed in as tight as a group of morbidly obese sardines? Well actually neither. It would appear that in attempt to price its competitors out of the market Ryanair has nobly taken heavy losses - but how long can

this go on? As big budget airlines like BA and Iberia are forced to merge we can only presume that air fares will eventually have to rise. However, although your ticket price

may not rise be prepared to start paying huge fuel surcharges and perhaps only taking one pair of pants in your limited luggage!

So, as we all enjoy these last few months of cheap flights and various airlines attempts to outbid each other, perhaps it is time to start considering alternative travel arrangements. Maybe a weekend in Bognor would not be so bad?

Sam Selmon

I Went on Holiday and I Took: A Lightweight Camping Towel

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The Lifeventure Fibre Trek Towel can absorb 9 times its own weight and dry 8 times quicker than a standard beach towel.

Surely it must be the perfect travelling accessory? The must-have hiking tool for weight-conscious travellers who want to make a quick departure after their morning shower? Alas, no! Be warned: the quick dry travel towel is host to a variety of discomforts that could ruin even the most cheerful person’s morning. The towel itself is coarse and uncomfortable and once you have endured the displeasure of drying yourself and placed your towel casually over a fence catastrophe inevitably arises!

A fleeting gust of wind whips past and you see your new super-absorbent towel fall in to the dirt…not a problem, I hear you cry, we can just shake that towel clean.

However, the super absorbent camping towel will not let go of those little specks of dirt and woodchip so you are left to pick away at 9 times your towel’s weight in crap while the rest of your party enjoys a leisurely breakfast! Perhaps a lightweight beach towel would suffice?

- The Lifeventure towel costs between £7.99 and £17.99, depending on size.

Sam Selmon

Beijing Transforms to Meet Olympic Standards If you’re not a fan of sports you can join me in celebrating the end of another Olympic Games and the media frenzy which surrounded it. All the reports and articles which had originally interested me eventually began to saturate our news to the point where anything related to China’s changing society bored me senseless, simply because I thought I had heard it all before.

It was not until this summer, when I stepped out of the world’s biggest airport terminal into the thick, stifling Beijing air, that I realised, for all those articles, I had no real idea about what that change actually meant. While I was there, it concerned me how quickly everything seemed to be changing. Was China heading in the right direction as it desperately tried to impress everyone, particularly the West?

Could all their efforts have been to their detriment? As our plane landed I asked the woman next to me if that was fog I could see outside. ‘Oh no, no,’ she replied, ‘that’s just the air.’

As I walked through the streets in Beijing this June, I found myself looking at a city that had been unmistakably gripped by the drive to modernise and to ‘clean up’ in time for the Olympics.

Street vendors had been banned in part to make the streets look more presentable but also so that no naïve foreigners got food poisoning. The friend I was

visiting told me how he was missing the once commonplace ‘Jian Bing’ vendor. Jian Bing are breakfast pancakes made with vegetables, egg and hot sauce, and they were once eaten by many Beijingers on their way to work in the morning. Vendors risked being fined if they started selling them, and the people who used to buy their pancakes for breakfast were being forced to pay more by going to the nearby restaurants. We agreed that it all just detracted from the ‘real’ experience of Beijing, even if it did remove some minor risks.

It wasn’t just the food that government officials controlled. While I was there, they were also in charge of the weather. I had arrived in a city that, I had been informed, had daily weather patterns operating ‘like clockwork’ to dissipate pollution before the Games and, without fail, every seven o’clock in the evening there would be the most torrential downpour. The cause of those predictable weather patterns was the ‘Beijing Weather Modification Office’ which, for the past few decades, has been honing its skills in controlling where and when it rains. By firing rockets and flying planes loaded with chemicals, Weather Modification teams have for some time now been able to make the rain fall on crops and clear bad weather before public holidays by ‘seeding’ the clouds with compounds that stimulate rainfall. It was a given that as we went out in the evenings we could expect to be rained upon, and rained upon we were as we jumped over puddles, swearing loudly, ‘F***ing Lonely Planet said Beijing was a dry city!’

But it wasn’t all unhappy news; one experience

stands out in my mind during those two weeks when we took a trip to Hong Kong by rail.

During the return journey I was interviewed

on the topic of China’s burgeoning industry and the effect the Games were having on the country as a whole. The interviewers, however, were ten-year-old schoolchildren and seemed to enjoy grinning while they asked their questions. They asked me a slew of them: ‘Do you like China?...What do you think of China’s growth?...What do you think of the Olympics?’ In the background, their teacher smiled encouragement as he

took photos of us all with an enormous camera. I told them I liked China and that I wished I could be there to see the Games, but when they left I wondered if their excitement could be just as commonplace as I had read about.

With the 2008 Games a thing of the past, I hope that China will take stock of what it has done to itself to prepare for the Olympics and really question whether it is happy with the changes it has hurriedly made. With a bit of luck they won’t be irreversible, and it is a small hope of mine that the cheerful optimism I had seen on that train won’t fade and that, maybe some day, those pancakes will return to the streets of Beijing.

Will Vickers

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0ROJECT$ESIGN Freshers’ week meeting and greeting aside, anyone worth their fashion credentials will be falling over themselves to discover what the Nottingham fashion scene has to offer.

In addition to all your high street favourites you will find a wealth of fashion gems.

To save you some time, we present to you the crème de la crème of eclectic high street alternative styles, in the form of Projects Design. Project is an independent fashion boutique in the heart of Nottingham’s city centre. Although little known to some, it is famed among many students as the brand behind the iconic ‘I love Notts’ t-shirts.

Yet the boutique has much more to offer a student in search of a unique and stylish look.The Project concept was based on a desire to uphold Nottingham’s traditional roots in fashion and textiles, going back to the days of the prosperous lace market.

Such a concept continues to be relevant today, as Project buys a range of both established and up-and-coming designers, putting it at the forefront of new trends and providing Nottingham with alternative chic. Project Design’s nomination and finalist position in the 2007 Drapers Award for best new business serves as an indicator of the store’s increasing prestige among industry insiders and customers alike. But success stories aside, the fact remains that a visit to Project will provide you with the fashion fix you need, whether it be a last minute formal dress or a new look to start the year with. With new autumn lines already in store, what better way to start spending your loan?

For more information on Project Design visit their website www.projectsclothing.co.uk.

Or better yet, pop in store and check it out for yourself.

Nikki Osman

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(OW¬SQUARE¬IS¬FAIR ‘Is it fair?’ is a question most of us wellmeaning shoppers ask ourselves as we purchase this season’s staples. As a new generation of ethical shoppers emerge, the high street is under pressure to meet their demands by housing their own fair trade collections. But fashion and fairtrade are something of an oxymoron.

That is until recently.

I’m sure many of us have accidentally come across the fair trade collections in Topshop whilst browsing the rails finding ways to spend our loan. Fair trade is not a new phenomenon but it has hit the high street by storm this past year, with Marks and Spencer, Next and Topshop all housing a collection in support of fair trade cotton.

However, the constant battle that many of us face is that between fashion and guilt. Until now fair trade clothing has been promoted by Jesus sandalwearing church groups and has been deemed extremely unfashionable. But the high street has revamped the fair trade connotations as the new cool.

Topshop’s collection plays fairly safe with disappointingly inoffensive, simple pieces

but nevertheless there has been a small improvement.

A pioneer in fair trade is Adili, with their collections sporting a rustic romantic style. You’ll be pleasantly surprised, however the price tags may disappoint as they are on the more expensive side.

Their webpage at first glance appears to be Topshop or Urban Outfitters but with a further look you realise that this is a fair trade website. The clothes are fashionable and well-made. Not only do they look good but they also ease the conscience. On this website all fashion freaks can shop without the added guilt.

Unfortunately the same can’t be said for the high street yet; they are slow to pick up the pace on fair trade clothing.

But with Adili hot on the game, we can but hope that fair trade is no longer simply associated with mother earth tree huggers but instead fashionable shoppers that have a conscience.

Go and visit www.adili.com Laura Sedgwick

Spare Parts OUR MAN IN ON THE WAY TO...

NIGBO, CHINA We entered China via the Irkestan Pass in China’s Muslim West. The night before had been spent in a mountain village with a Kyrgyz family, and that morning we had hitched a ride on a truck to the border.

Pre-pubescent soldiers practised drill on the 7km border while our bags were searched.

Entering Kashgar we passed horse and carts on the broad highway; it was a juxtaposition of Central Asia and China. My friend wanted beans on toast so we found ourselves in a western-style cafe opposite our hotel.

The place was a typical carbon-copy diner and was run by Uighurs. The toast was sweet bread and the beans two inches long and uncooked.

Our journey took us though the Taklamakan Desert north to Urumqi then east to Turpan. The sleeper-bus through the desert threw us out of our beds while we attempted sleep.

In Turpan, having visited some tourist sites, we then persuaded the

son of our hotel owner to come hitchhiking to Gansu. ‘Poty’, whom we later named Pugsley, was an effete boy with a predilection for ‘Hello Kitty’ and basketball.

We took a China Mobile van, a bus and trucks to get to Dunhuang. At our ultra-cheap hotel we were bemused by the sight of a gorgeous girl, who was apparently staying there. About an hour later she wandered back out to a pink lit shed.

We parted with Pugsley and continued to the fortress of Jiayuguan. Enthusiastic budgeting led to hard seats on a train to the ancient capital, Xi’an. We spent 12 hours trying to sleep inside a zoo of people. Somehow a tiny man with startled eyes, carrying a huge teddy, squeezed in next to the large sleepingBuddha of an adolescent that took up our table. After a touristic binge we

continued on to Beijing.

Arriving at 3am far from the centre, we decided on a taxi to Tiananmen Square, where we accidentally witnessed the daily flag raising.

Cultural events out the way, we then ate McDonalds and lodged in a subterranean hotel nearby. Beijing didn’t appeal so we grabbed a softsleeper train to Shanghai. I’ve since been watching travelers come and go before preparing for university at Ningbo.

By Chris Berragan

, IMPACT S GUIDE TO... PRE-LASH The ritualistic imbibement of intoxicating fluids, prior to departure to one of Nottingham’s many licensed establishments, is a time honoured university tradition known by most as ‘pre-lash.’ On any given evening students all over Nottingham gather and partake in pre-lash with hopes and plans for the night to come. Properly planned it is the foundation of a fantastic evening, while a bad one can result in premature punctuation to the night. It is a time in which to prepare yourself for the night ahead and should set the tone for the rest of the evening. A Pre-lash can take on many guises, but unites participants in the shared goal of controlled inebriation. Here are a few ways to do it…

The ‘pub-lash’ Usually best if undertaken by those with time and money. In this case the pre-lash becomes a large part of the evening where the participants can ease themselves over a few hours into a state of assisted comfort. Best if the evening to

follow will be relaxed.

The ‘game-lash’ Requiring a degree of organisation and a variety of alcohol this can be the most amusing type of pre-lash. The idea is to gather a group of friends and play games such as ‘ring of fire’, or ‘kings’. The result of the game lash is often varying degrees of intoxication amongst the players depending upon their skill or luck.

Warning: there is usually one player who by design, or chance, fares worse than the rest and will provide amusement for the remainder of the night. Use any type of alcoholic beverage. It may require participants to have some knowledge of the international drinking rules.

The ‘solitary-lash’ For those who desire peaceful preparation or are downright selfish this is the lash of choice. The idea is to chill out with a glass of your favourite beverage before meeting your friends

at an agreed destination. However this is the most risky type of pre-lash.

Remember that it will be hard to gauge how much to drink in comparison to your friends, and that travelling alone is far more dangerous.

The ‘posh-lash’ ‘Fore special occasions there is nothing quite as pure or energising for a pre-lash drink as sparkling wine. This type of pre lash will result in severe inebriation and can cause damage to your wallet.

The ‘last-minute-lash’ For those short of time the last minute lash will usually involve spirits. It may be an idea to have an emergency bottle of something on the shelf. Spirits work well because they achieve a similar effect without you having to consume so much liquid. Remember never to drink too much because the alcohol will have a delayed effect.

By Dan Rae-Scott

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arts Film music Science nigHts gratis

NIcE

arts .ICE

Newstead! Fast-Falling, once resplendent dome!

It’s that time of year again, and what with a return to lectures, rain and the inevitable freshers’ flu, the chances are that you and your friends would quite like to escape from the drudgery of university life to a place which reminds you of happy summer days. Newstead Abbey, about half an hour north of Nottingham, is that perfect place.

Newstead Abbey is the stunningly elegant former home of Romantic poet Lord Byron. It oozes creative inspiration; therefore it is no wonder that the poet who became ‘mad, bad, and dangerous to know’ chose Newstead as his favourite haunt to escape the turmoil of city life.

And at £4.50 entrance to the house and gardens for students, you too can flee the shadows of the Hallward for the haven that is Newstead.

Inside the Abbey discover splendid medieval cloisters, wonderfully furnished Victorian rooms (including a magnificent great hall), and Byron’s private suite of apartments. Wander through the library, admire the paintings that ornament the walls throughout the house, and see the cellars where, we were reliably informed, Byron threw his wild parties! Plus, there is the opportunity for you to have fun dressing up in replica clothing of the type Byron would have donned. As a large part of the student experience involves dressing up in costumes, you know it has to be done. If nothing else, Facebook will appreciate the photos.

Newstead Abbey’s 300 acres of gardens equal the house in extravagance, with varieties to suit all tastes including traditional walled rose gardens,

impressively grand lakes or wild woodland. We particularly recommend the Rockery and the Japanese Garden, where the multitude of secret twisty-turny paths, hidden streams and breathtaking waterfalls create feelings more akin to excited Lost Boys in Never-Never Land than visitors to a stately home!

A dinky little eatery, named ‘Café at the Abbey,’ provides a small yet stylish watering hole for hungry students in their exploration of Byron’s domain. Try the homemade soup and roll – delicious and reasonably priced at £3.50. You may even find, as we did, your table seized as a makeshift den for the resident ducks!

The peacocks, however – despite their hauntingly beautiful call and flamboyant

strut – are rather vicious.

Themed events are held in the house and gardens throughout the year, such as a ‘Regency Revel’ – a chance to dress and dance in the manner of Pride and Prejudice! And as winter exams loom, the approaching ‘Christmas at Newstead Abbey’ promises to be a piece of visual Christmassy poetry itself.

So if you would like inspiration for those reluctant essays, a place to drag parents on their visits to Nottingham, or a fun day out with friends, go to Newstead Abbey and uncover a little piece of paradise in the heart of the midlands. Enjoy!

Eleanor Matthews

Nottingham contemporary @ lace Market Nottingham’s art scene is set to get even more exciting with the upcoming opening of Nottingham Contemporary, situated next to the Lace Market. With its unique exterior of huge concrete panels etched in lace, it will house four gallery spaces, a café-bar, resource centres, a shop, performance spaces and education

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rooms. It will be a link between the traditional Lace Market and the modern city centre.

Nottingham Contemporary will be one of Britain’s biggest contemporary arts centres. Until its opening in the spring, there will be exhibitions around

Nottingham: the Galleries of Justice are hosting an exhibition and conference on postmodernist philosopher Michel Foucault, and there will be an investigation into Nottingham’s prolific portfolio of twin cities.

Charlotte Clifton

Impact’s guide to Nottingham’s theatres Nottingham has an incredibly wide and varied performing arts scene; you’ll find everything here from the student writing at the New Theatre to national touring productions at the Playhouse; whatever your taste you’ll find something of interest. All Nottingham venues offer student discounts so a trip to the theatre can be surprisingly cheap - just remember your student card! So skip the clubs and pay a visit to a theatre for a memorable night; and if you need another reason, it’s the perfect excuse to get dressed up.

New Theatre The university’s very own New Theatre is unique: it is run and managed entirely by students and productions run virtually weekly in term time, quite an achievement considering the commitment involved and coursework deadlines! You’ll find high quality classic productions here as well as new writing; some great productions written by Nottingham students are regularly shown. If you’re a budding playwright or actor don’t just watch but get involved.

(See the New Theatre website for listings www.newtheatre.org.uk ; Tickets: £5)

Theatre Royal This classic Victorian venue is one of the major landmarks in the city. Go inside

and you’ll feel as though you’ve stepped back in time – there is a wonderful, elaborate auditorium, complete with a huge chandelier and painted ceiling. If modern drama is your thing don’t be put off; it is one of the best touring venues in the country and you’ll find West End musicals, drama, opera and ballet in the listings and a great Christmas pantomime.

Coming up: 6th-18th October, Joseph and the Amazing Technicolour Dreamcoat (Tickets: £13 Stalls, Monday-Thursday evening performances)

Nottingham Playhouse Don’t miss this striking theatre hidden near Maid Marian Way. The Playhouse has a strong tradition for supporting new writing and there are regular top touring productions; a high quality performance here is virtually guaranteed. The theatre’s wonderful CAST restaurant and Anish Kapoor’s Sky Mirror sculpture outside are worth a visit themselves.

Coming up: 9th-18th October, All Quiet

much, much more. If you’re into dance, comedy, literature or musicals you’ll find something to enjoy and the Djanogly Arts Gallery is definitely worth visiting. A word of warning: productions come and go very quickly, so check their listings regularly.

Coming up: Zero 7th-8th October.

(Tickets: £9 or £5 restricted view).

Lacemarket Theatre This cosy amateur theatre is a bit different and it produces a wide and varied range of modern and traditional drama and which get regularly well reviewed.

Coming up: Improbable Fiction 6th-11th October (Tickets: £8)

Nottingham Arts Theatre This is more than just an amateur theatre; it is a true community theatre that is run by volunteers and anyone can attend auditions and get involved. Productions are quite infrequent but there are regular workshops and Improvisation classes.

on the Western Front (Tickets: £10£13.50, Stalls, Tuesday to Friday).

Coming up: A Midsummer Night’s Dream: 1st-8th November (Tickets: £5-10).

Lakeside Arts Centre

Visit the Impact website’s Arts section for complete & updated listings. All prices listed are only available with a valid student card.

It is easy to overlook the University’s second venue; the Lakeside is a performing Arts Centre that has plays and

Clarissa Woodberry

Creative corner Ever since I was first given some sort of work to do, I’ve been drawing instead. In some ways it’s pretty bad my lecture notes tend to feature more cartoon giraffes than actual words, for instance - but on the whole, I’m happiest when I’m drawing. I find my inspiration in the endless optimism instilled in me by years of watching Disney films and in the stupid memories from my childhood that I still keep in my room - the pinata in this picture sits on my desk as I write.

His name is Cous Cous. I wouldn’t ever make a career out of drawing - it’s a sacred escape I couldn’t bring myself to give up. Plus, I’d go through my Crayolas quicker.

Stephen Thomas

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Film .ICE

Impact’s Guide to Nottingham Cinemas In the first of many tributes to Nottingham’s rich film culture Impact’s James Warren gives a definitive rundown of the best local cinemas that the city has to offer.

The Savoy

Broadway Cinema

This firm student favourite is located at the heart of Lenton, a mere 20 minute hop, skip and jump for all you campus and lucky Broadgate dwellers. The Savoy looks and feels like a building fresh from the 1950s complete with coupled seating at the back of most screens (these cinema owners aren’t stupid!) The Savoy screens most mainstream films whilst occasionally hosting nights dedicated to old classics such as Top Gun and Scarface, as well as the easily quotable Anchorman. One of the few cinemas to allow alcohol into screens, the venue feels more like a local pub akin to another student favourite The Happy Return. If you turn up early to your evening showing you may even be lucky enough to catch Coronation Street being projected onto the wall in the upstairs bar. Students pay £3.50, and at this price it’s no wonder that many make this their film house of choice.

The Broadway cinema may be the centrepiece of Nottingham’s filmhouses.

Renovated in October 2006, the Broadway boasts four screens, one of which was designed by local boy Sir Paul Smith with seats baring his signature multicoloured stripes. Films shown span from documentary to foreign language, classic to contemporary and short to epic. The cinema is not only renowned for being the ‘home of independent and world cinema in the East Midlands,’ but is hugely invested in the local community with opportunities being made for disadvantaged youths as well as the generally creative. The Broadway has played host to the UK premier of Quentin Tarantino’s Reservoir Dogs and in recent months it has organised Indiana Jones, Dark Knight and Sex in the City-themed nights, where film fanatics can dress as their favourite character. Students pay £3 on a Sunday evening after five o’clock, while weekday prices are only marginally higher at £4.50.

Derby Road, next to Barclays

Showcase Cinema Cineworld

Cornerhouse, Upper Parliament Street Based in the sparkly, fluorescent and cornea-burning Cornerhouse centre, Cineworld is your regular multiplex with 12 screens over two floors. A place where mass-consumerism will hit you square in the face and give you a mighty great nose bleed. The cinema comfortably caters to all of your needs, be it large combo meals that Gillian McKeith would thoroughly disapprove of, or a miniscule tub of Ben and Jerry’s.

Yes, it is unashamedly expensive but there is no easier (or more enjoyable) way to experience that great big summer blockbuster. Students pay £5; for the stingy among you on your post-freshers’ week dates, we recommend going on an Orange Wednesday!

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Clifton Boulevard

Situated just outside of the city, opposite the house of sin that is ISIS, is Nottingham’s alternative multiplex to Cineworld. Reminiscent of American multiplexes, the general idea ‘the bigger, the better’ may not quite translate to the Showcase. Showing films from your average Michael ‘I Like Explosions’ Bay blockbuster to the latest pixelated figure from Disney, the Showcase can accommodate for most of your mainstream film needs. Probably the least popular cinema from the list due to its inconvenient location students rarely attend unless they are lucky enough to own a car. The showcase is however appealing to those insomniacs who may see screenings well into the night.

Students pay £5.00, but think of the petrol! Or the taxi fare! Or the walking!

Broad Street, Hockley

The Screen Room

Just down the road from Broadway Cinema From the very big to the oh-so-small with potentially the world’s smallest cinema, The Screen Room boasts a whopping 21 seats and proves to be an extremely novel viewing experience. No popcorn here though I’m afraid, a cup of coffee and a slice of carrot cake should see you through. It does however eliminate that guy who is looking for the perfect golden kernel that inevitably lies at the bottom of his bag of popcorn (I stand up proud!)

Showing films that have just finished their general release, it is the place to go if you missed that gem of a film that people have been raving about. Book ahead to avoid disappointament! Students pay £4.20. For £2.50 a year a student member may get in for £3.70.

When art reflects life Impact’s Oli Holden-Rea and James Warren give a quick rundown of the films that reflect the average student’s university reality.

The Truman Show

The Island

University is such a great big bubble dome that it does genuinely come as quite a shock to discover that there is life outside lecture halls and student nights. Truman’s regular routine, passing the same neighbours and townspeople, eerily begins to reflect our own as we repeatedly see the guy frantically clutching his Starbucks coffee or that girl who reliantly leans upon the photocopiers in a ritualistic manner.

Nothing to do with Michael Bay’s rampant serial commercialism, brightwhite health-spa aesthetic and shallow rips of every piece of credible sciencefiction in literary history. Instead be presented with an island encapsulating campus, the city and everything inbetween. The outside world fails to penetrate what Impact has previously called ‘The Nottingham Bubble’ and the only difference (apart from the obvious lack of cleanliness) is that nobody tries to escape our island.

Mulholland Drive In general the whole experience can be approached in a variety of ways, depending on your own personal mindset. It can be a brilliant opportunity to expand your (comparatively insignificant) mind, exploring intellectual depths beyond your previous comprehension, which can largely be done in the library… café. On the other hand, you can just embrace the craziness at the surface level, which is usually a funnier path. Whichever you decide (commonly all of the above) there’s always a few naked women (and a few more if you go to Isis).

Finding Nemo Thrown into the unknown water, you meet a variety of people (fish), some of which seem the same (seagulls), some everybody loves (turtles) and some no one does, but who are just there (jellyfish). You get lost a lot. You go to the dentist (unless you avoid falling over or trying to open a bottle with your teeth during a night out). Finally, you get a shock flush down the toilet and into the wider world.

Trainspotting Never wishing to compare university life to a heroin addiction, I’ll say that Danny Boyle’s film seems to capture the shift in pace, tone and levels of general escapism (read: sex, drugs and loud music) that comes with moving between home and university. Perhaps more like an addiction to a drug of a lower class.

American Pie It’s exactly like university, except we’re not all high school students… or idiots… or get told off by the cops for drinking… or live with our parents… or have pools to throw up in… or have proms… or even attempt to extract a moral lesson out of a situation like trying to ‘score.’ In fact, the film that supposedly defined the adolescence of our generation is nothing like university. American Pie may actually be a film about high school thinking about it again, in which case it is pretty true to life.

The Breakfast Club

The Lord of the Rings Trilogy

A load of people are thrown together. All get on with each other. Some get off with each other. Breakfast never has a part in it (especially in catered halls). Everyone goes home happy.

It seems to make up a large proportion of your life, but it is so great that you wish it wouldn’t fly by so fast and that you could repeat it. Also, many people come out with significantly longer hair than when they went in.

Gandhi

The Rules of Attraction

This one applies to freshers’ week.

Both are widely acknowledged to be brilliant and yet, simply due to stamina (the stamina to endure boredom in the case of Gandhi), the closer it comes to finishing the more people wish it would just end.

Adapted from the Brett Easton Ellis novel of the same title, The Rules Of Attraction is essentially the anti-American Pie. The film depicts the intertwining lives of three students as they live their way through a year at Camden College. This film is as close as possible to portraying the utter confusion that may lie ahead of you at university - parties most nights of the week and that habit of forgetting everyone’s name. The may also be awarded for having the best use of George Michael’s Faith in a film scene ever. (If you can name better, answers on a postcard to…)

Napoleon Dynamite Bad dancing prevails.

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music .ICE

Five from Nottingham The Mourning After Although not originally from Nottingham, the city has become the adopted home of Mark (guitar), Sam (bass) and Edan (drums), as they currently study here.

Their sound is undoubtedly accessible and seems to have taken great influence from post-punk artists like Gang of Four: it’s distressed but unfussy. To make a modern comparison, they would probably fit somewhere in-between These New Puritans and Foals. We caught up with Edan recently over e-mail as he took time off from his travels around Central America.

www.myspace.com/tmaband

Geiom Kamal Joory’s alias Geiom has forged influences from all sorts of dark electronic sounds, as well as more conventional artists like Bjork, Joy Division and Kraftwerk. As such, his style can only be described as some sort of electronicagrime-hip-hop-dubstep fusion. His discography stretches all the way back to 2000, but arguably his most successful work has come more recently. Despite dubstep going global, it still has only a few artists who have had successful full length albums in a genre still dominated by the mixtape. However Island Noise, Geiom’s latest release, manages this brilliantly. Geiom can be heard on Wednesday nights between 12-2 am on www.kemetradio.com. www.myspace.com/geiom

Clarky Cat

He explained how they all met at school, and began gigging at sixteen. ‘We started in London and moved around the UK trying to chase the best club nights and support slots to play.’ To date, amongst others, they have featured on the same bill as The Wombats, Calvin Harris, The Rumblestrips, The Macabbees and Alphabeat.

The band has already produced five EPs, the last of which – Welcome to Co-Pilot – gained particular acclaim. TMA featured as unsigned band of the week on Steve Lamacq’s In New Music We Trust, as well as on Zane Lowe’s Fresh Meat.

The journey thus far takes them back to the studio, where a ‘whole new batch of material’ is in the pipeline. They remain unsigned for the time being, as they are currently ‘focusing on writing rather than frolicking with industry c***s.’ Make sure you catch them live in Nottingham soon.

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Clarky Cat subscribe to a similar school of thought as Late of The Pier – one that fundamentally believes in quirky electronics, dirty baselines and live shows that leave those in the crowd feeling like they have ran a marathon. Look out for them DJing in Nottingham soon. www.myspace.com/clarkycat

House of Brothers House of Brothers sit somewhere between indie and folk, but essentially comes dressed down, allowing the listener to hear the melodic harmonies, beautiful strings and powerful piano uninterrupted by gratuitous gloss. Lead singer Andrew Jackson is at times every bit as magical as Chris Martin or Elliot Smith. A particular favourite is demo track Twilight of the Idols, where the duet of voices, not too dissimilar to the frequent use of the technique by TV on the Radio, is captivating. www.myspace.com/houseofbrothers

Late of the Pier August saw the release of first album Fantasy Black Channel by Late of the Pier – a foursome of synth-fuelled nutters from just down the road in Castle Donington. Considering the hype you could be forgiven for thinking they had released a number of successful full length predecessors. Instead, the excitement was the result of a number of breathtaking singles, all of which would have you jumping out of bed even with the dirtiest of hangovers. They do a manic live show to boot. www.myspace.com/lateofthepier James Ballard

Interview With The Bug @ Xlagoom, Belgrade Dubstep has been slowly hypnotising the UK masses over the past years with its syncopated rhythms and heavy bass drops. Hailing from southeast London, the genre has come out of the UK garage and 2-step scenes. Impact chats to internationally acclaimed Dubstep artist Kevin Martin AKA The Bug to see how the sound of London’s south east matched postCommunist Serbia.

It’s been a rainy day in Belgrade, but now, late afternoon, waiting in the beer garden outside the club, XLAGOOM, the pumping break-core beats and the sound of the artificial waterfall make it hard to believe we’re in the cultural centre of the capital.

The Eurovision song contest is also happening tonight. There could be two more contrasting events.

The Bug (Kevin Martin’s name in his first solo project), is renowned for his aggressive violent beats that hit you harder than you can say BASSLINE and suck you into a world filled with sweaty, infected people, but pretty much anything is possible in this city. The poster announces The Bug as a ‘Dubstep pioneer’, but it is questionable as to whether he would agree with that, as in previous interviews he has shown a fairly critical point of view regarding his association with the ‘new’ musical

genre. And that’s understandable, considering that he is working on several different projects and his music did not originate though the same roots as the Dubstep superstars SKREAM and BENGA. Talking to him, it is crystal clear that he is making music for music’s sake.

He told me that the best gig he ever played was in a little kebab shop in Berlin, in a back room where there was space for about 120 people but around 250 were there for the set. The police finally managed to break it off after 3 attempts. The kebab shop had to close down afterwards. Heavy.

Kevin does not want to be categorised just because he enjoys a heavy bass line, or as he puts it, ‘get sucked into the epicentre of Dubstep’. Dubstep has become a surprisingly massive success, a genre that started off mainly in Croydon with the help of Steve Goodman AKA Kode9.

Since 2005 (after the success of SKREAM’s Midnight Request Line) hype surrounding the Dubstep scene has been continually growing, gaining international recognition. Kevin told me that he actually only got into Dubstep when he was interviewed by the infamous Kode9, who told him about this ‘new thing’ he was working on. He asked whether Kevin wanted to try out what it would sound like to

mix some of his stuff with Kode9’s ‘new thing’.

Mainly, Kevin plays together with Warrior Queen (who is known currently for recording her own album), but he also does his own sets, in which he can be ‘more selfish’ and play heavier tunes. Kevin points out that playing with Warrior Queen makes it easier when playing abroad because crowd reactions are harder to predict when on your own, and you don’t know how the crowd are going to react. ‘An MC is much more exposed to that than the DJ is.’

This was the first time that an internationally-known Dubsteporiented DJ played in Serbia and everyone well loved it. The atmosphere was just absolutely perfect when he dropped ‘Killer’ in this grimey, dingy cave, you could feel this flow of energy hitting everyone: two hours of complete madness. Those who didn’t know The Bug before this set are not going to forget him quickly.

For information on Dubstep nights in Nottingham, check out Futureproof www.myspace.com/ukfutureproof and Wigflex - www.myspace.com/ wigflexwigflex Laura Wolfs

43

DHP Group - Leading Nottingham’s music scene Nottingham has what most cities do not: an independent venues’ operator that books and promotes acts, and also has its own ticket agency. DHP began in Nottingham in 1980 when Rock City opened. Anton Lockwood, who joined the group five years ago, explains how they have expanded in recent years. ‘We decided to turn Rescue Rooms [formerly a sports bar] into an indie venue. We then decided to build Stealth which is more dance music orientated, and we took over the Social which is now the Bodega.’

The £1million conversion of an old warship in Bristol, now called the Thekla, took DHP’s tally of venues up to six. In Nottingham their venues collectively have a capacity of over 4,000, and provide the basis for the city’s thriving music scene.

By covering venues, booking and promotions, the DHP group have become a one stop shop for booking agents. ‘One way or another we get together with agents and we talk about what’s the best capacity venue for a band to play and what should the ticket price be, although sometimes they’ll tell you!

Assuming everyone’s happy, off we go and hopefully we sell some tickets.’ The group also has the 44

flexibility of using other venues where necessary: ‘The biggest thing we’ve got coming up is Scouting for Girls, who are playing the Arena in November. Not the most innovative group of all time, but they are the biggest selling UK band this year. It’s going to be a huge show’.

By owning six venues, DHP can combine any number of them into one event. The best example of this is Dot to Dot festival, held annually in May, and incorporating all of DHP’s venues as well as Trent SU. Anton reflected on this year’s effort positively, ‘It’s been a really difficult year for festivals: Gatecrasher Summer Sound System was a disaster, Wax:On got pulled; Wild in the Country got cancelled and Zoo Thousand and Eight didn’t bother paying anybody, including the security, so everyone got beaten up! Dot to Dot wasn’t a sell-out, which we would have liked, but given the situation I think we got there.’

This year for the first time (along with Nottingham’s Dot to Dot) the event took place in Bristol as well as a shorter version in London. ‘We were five times bigger than last year which was quite ambitious.’ As far as next year goes nothing is booked just yet: ‘We know what we’re looking for and we expect it to be a two

day event. We’re not going to try and expand until we sell all our tickets!’

Anton’s two big weekends left in 2008 happen to be Halloween and New Year’s Eve. ‘On Friday 31st October we have got Black Kids playing at Trent, and on Saturday 1st we have Noah and the Whale at Rescue Rooms, then on Sunday we’ve got Fleet Foxes at Trent. That weekend is probably the best weekend of live music.’

For NYE 2008, DHP are working on a joint project with Detonate.

‘Its going to be called Countdown and it will be a one-wristband party at Rescue Rooms, Stealth and Rock City. There will be drum and bass and dubstep in Rock City main room, and electronic music in Stealth and Rescue Rooms. It went well last year, but people are into all sorts of different music and on NYE you want to go out with all your mates. At Countdown you can listen to what you want and still meet up with friends.’

Tickets for all shows linked to DHP are available through their own ticketing agency at www.alttickets.co.uk James Ballard

Quick Guide to the Nottingham Music Scene Arts Organisation, 21 Station Street

Lee Rosy’s, 17 Broad Street www.lee-rosy.co.uk

www.theartorganisation.co.uk

Opening in 2007, this derelict warehouse has been renovated into a non-profit arts’ space, offering a gallery and cafe during the day. It is also becoming a popular venue with DIY promoters. Last year Gringo Records’ 10th anniversary was held here with Part Chimp, Bilge Pump and Souvaris.

A quirky tea rooms in Hockley with a large selection of teas and cakes.

It’s also one of Nottingham’s smaller venues where you can catch some quiet, gentile, je ne sais quoi music during the evenings whilst sipping some tea and nibbling on some carrot cake. The likes of Slow Club, Library Tapes and Plinth have played here.

The Bodega Social Club, 23 Pelham Street

Up and Coming:

www.thebodegasocialclub.co.uk

Anni Rossi – 15th October

This is an intimate venue with a pleasant bar downstairs to relax in if you get too hot whilst pulling those, er, shapes...? The Bodega puts on an eclectic mix of bands and club nights; anything from grime to indie pop. Be sure to bring your skinny jeans and messy hair-do, eyeliner, pocket watch and remember to stick with the white wine!

The Maze, 257 Mansfield Road

Up and coming: Rolo Tomassi + Mirror! Mirror! - 27th September PIVOT -2nd October Hot club de Paris - 7th Oct Holy Fuck - 15th Oct

Junktion 7, 6 Ilkeston Road www.junktion7.co.uk

Situated just outside of Nottingham city centre in Canning Circus, which is near to Lenton. You’re more likely to find metal/rock or punk bands, so be prepared for some loud music and heavy guitars.

Up and coming: Sonic Boom Six - 1st October Raging Speedhorn – 24th October

www.themazerocks.com

260 capacity venue, good for intimate gigs as the stage is pretty small. Still, it offers a range of established and emerging musicians from a variety of musical genres. Pretty chilled out atmosphere where you can often discover some real talent.

Up and coming: Preston Reed – 5th October Bison – 17th October

The Old Angel, 7 Stoney Street www.theoldangel.co.uk

Located in the heart of Hockley, The Old Angel delivers a interesting twist on the traditional, down to earth English pub: good hearty grub is served up to an anthem of underground hardcore and punk bands. So once you’ve had enough of the Baywatch theme tune and the fancy, yuppie-chic bars that you’ve been subjected to during fresher’s week, why don’t you go and listen to some REAL music and remind yourself you’re a real man.

Up and coming: Cybercide – 27th Sept Orange Goblin - 10th October The Hip Priests – 11th October

Rescue Rooms, Masonic Place www.rescuerooms.com

Just next door to Stealth, with a pleasant courtyard where you can sit and look ‘cool’ with a cigarette and smudged eye make-up at 3 in the morning, staring (to the point where it’s just embarrassing) at that awkward indie boy who is probably in ‘the band’. More to the point, Rescue Rooms is a medium size venue that puts on a great selection of popular bands with a great bar too, serving fine pub food and excellent music.

Up and coming: The Melvins - 1st October The Automatic - 4th October Bromhead’s Jacket - 6th October CSS - 13th October

Rock City, 8 Talbot Street www.rock-city.co.uk

Voted the UK’s best live venue, this is one of Nottingham’s bigger venues hosting everything from the biggest metal bands to NME favourites.

However on a night out here, you should bear in mind the sticky floors, the fact you may need to drink a lot to have a good time and the drunk ugly girls everywhere who will try and kiss you; but all this is just part of the Rock City illusion.

Up and coming: Foals - 30th September Enter Shikari - 4th October MGMT - 6th November Elise Laker

Apologies!

A lack of space, then a printing error in our final issue of last year meant a few items were left out. These included a live review of Carla Bozulich’s latest project Evangelista, who played at the Maze in April. Other reviews include Flying Lotus, Grey Daturas, Tokyo Police Club, The Hives and Metronomy.

They are now available on our newly updated website. There you can also find a number of festival reviews from this summer…

45

Science .ICE

The science of... Being drunk and disorderly In moderation, getting a little tipsy can be quite a pleasant experience.

Most people find a couple of drinks will give them more confidence and make them feel more carefree.

Of course, too much can lead to embarrassing and sometimes regrettable events. Printable examples include falling into shrubbery on the way home, stupidly offering to pay for the whole taxi or somehow managing to lose your shoes.

But what is actually happening inside your body to make you feel so drunk?

h%XTRA¬POINTS¬IF¬YOUMANAGE¬TO¬HUMILIATEYOURSELF¬FURTHER¬BYSCROUNGING¬SOME¬KIND¬OFNOVELTY¬HEADWEARv Contrary to common belief, although mixing your drinks might make you feel sick, it won’t make you any more drunk. How drunk you are depends entirely upon your blood alcohol concentration, and this is affected by the amount of units you drink, no matter where they’ve come from.

Firstly the alcohol must be absorbed from your gut into your bloodstream.

This happens surprisingly quickly and the effects of the boozing will soon be felt. Fizzy drinks go to your head even quicker because the bubbles push the contents of your stomach through to your small intestine faster, and this is where most of the alcohol is absorbed.

Once inside your bloodstream alcohol starts to affect your central nervous system. Processing information from your senses begins to take longer and your reaction times are slowed.

This is why getting behind the wheel even after only a couple of drinks is a

46

complete no go.

A few rounds later, the alcohol begins to affect the outer layer of your brain - the frontal cortex - and all rational decision-making skills go out of the window. This is the point where dancing on the tables in Ocean becomes the best idea in the world. Extra points if you manage to humiliate yourself further by scrounging some kind of novelty headwear. Pirate bandanas and bunny ears seem to be favourites.

There are many parts of the brain affected by alcohol. The cerebellum is the bit that controls fine muscle movements. Touching your finger to the end of your nose can be pretty tricky whilst under the influence.

Want proof? Then do try this at home, but be careful not to poke your eyes out.

The limbic system is the part of the brain linked to emotions and after a few drinks these can become pretty exaggerated. Whether you end up trying to pick a fight with the bouncer (not a good idea) or breaking down in floods of tears because someone spilt VK apple down your top, depends largely upon your personality and the mood of the night so far.

Alcohol is an anti-diuretic, meaning that it stops you from producing the hormone which normally helps your body reabsorb excess water from your wee, keeping your bladder emptier for longer. Without it you’ll be queuing for the loos all night.

Consequently a night of drinking leaves you dehydrated and full of sugar. The body responds by increasing its insulin production to combat the high levels of glucose.

Once you stop drinking, sugar continues to be broken down

resulting in a serious craving for carbs to balance it out. This explains why at three in the morning anyone who has Dino’s pizza on their speed dial is automatically your best friend!

After the greasy treat it’s usually time for bed. It can be a little difficult to sleep though if the room feels like its spinning. This happened because the little blobs of jelly inside your ears, which control your sense of balance, are affected by the alcohol. Their shape is distorted causing messages to be sent to your brain telling it that you are moving. The effect is greatest when lying in bed in the dark because there are no signals from your eyes telling you not to be so stupid.

h#ONTRARY¬TO¬COMMONBELIEF ¬ALTHOUGH¬MIXINGYOUR¬DRINKS¬MIGHT¬MAKEYOU¬FEEL¬SICK ¬IT¬WON T¬MAKEYOU¬ANY¬MORE¬DRUNKv The following day your poor liver has to work overtime to break down the toxins in your body and it needs water to do so. Not one to give in easily, the liver simple borrows water from your other organs. This is what causes the headache, when your water-deprived brain feels like it’s shrunk and is knocking around inside your head. Dehydration also drains the potassium from your body, and this accounts for the insatiable thirst, muscle cramps and dizziness. The dreaded hangover is pretty horrible - but don’t worry it, will pass.

Until then, hopefully reminiscing over the breakfast table will provide enough amusing anecdotes to make the pounding head worthwhile.

Laura McGuinness

Surviving Freshers’ Flu: Impact goes Virus busting Even the most flu-alert health-freak would be shocked by what you can pick up off the Isis dance floor during Week One. And then there’s the germs.

After a week of steadily saturating your body with the ominous contents of cocktail dustbins and sharing other people’s sweat in Stealth, you can expect the leukocytes guarding the gates of your immune system to be just as pissed off their little cell faces as you are, meaning it’s also party time for the Freshers’ Flu Virus and the venue is You. The bad news first: flu tends to be viral, and since they won’t respond to antibiotics there is little you can do for the causes. However, there are all sorts of concoctions on the market to relieve the symptoms. But faced with all that choice, can you spot your Sudafeds from your pseudo-meds? Street names aside, here is a run down of the long words you should match to each symptom.

Your basic snot-buster is pseudoephedrine, a decongestant that causes the blood vessels in the nasal passages to contract, decreasing blood flow, reducing both that stuffy feeling and mucus production. However, Pharmacy student Adelle Painter recommends you only take this for a day or two, or risk getting rebound congestion when you stop using it…

For pain relief, you can probably guess the standard paracetamol and ibuprofen.

Interestingly enough, we don’t fully understand exactly how paracetamol works, despite having swallowed the stuff for over a century. Ibuprofen is a more effective anti-inflammatory and reduces fever. All flu meds contain one or the other, and it goes without saying: always read the labels if you’re mixing meds.

Overdosing on the paracetamol in Lemsip Max is not funny. (Nor is it economical when you consider that for the same price you can have a perfectly good night on a Bargain Booze wine of the week,

with a bit left over for an Arcos.)

Immune boosters Vitamin C and Zinc will help sober up your leukocytes. Rest is paramount to ensure your body starts flu busting, and watch out for lingering symptoms in case you have a secondary infection. Snuggling up on the sofa, with several hours’ exposure to Dave, is a clinically proven remedy. Kind of.

Perhaps the most obvious symptom of Freshers’ Flu is the almighty coughing plague, where in large lecture halls the sheer volume of coughing can drown out the lecturer. You’re forgiven if your first week of lecture notes consists of some incomprehensible squiggles and a few patches of phlegm. Our first piece of advice is dextromethorphan, found in most cough meds, which stems overactive cough reflexes. Our second piece of advice: if you’re in a steeply tiered lecture theatre, sit near the back.

Sophie Stammers

Discover Science city Whether you’re a fresher or a postgrad, one of the best things about the University is its size and diversity - you can always discover new things about it.

Impact Science takes a look at some of the ‘hidden gems’ and interesting facts about Science City, the mysterious group of buildings down by the East Entrance.

Whilst the Physics and Chemistry departments here epitomise all that is good about Science - expensive equipment, beards, gadgets, frothing test tubes and eccentric old men there are other more subtle joys to be had here. One of the more interesting laboratories is the Nottingham Centre for Pavement Research. Offering delights such as ‘cracking pendulum tests’, ‘micro penetrations’ and a ‘ring and ball softening test’, this truly is one of the most exciting sounding facilities. Not just a source of amusing jargon, however, this department offers undergrads the chance to get to grips with the very pertinent problems facing pavement construction in the UK today.

Overlooking the Pavement research centre, up the hill towards Cripps sits the ‘Sir Peter Mansfield centre for Magnetic Resonance’. Inside, silently brooding, sits the main magnet, with a strength of

over 100,000 times that of the Earth’s magnetic field. One of the main dangers of this magnet is the aptly named ‘missile effect’ - when metal objects accidentally brought into the room containing the magnet fly towards it in an uncontrollable fashion. Thankfully they’ve had no accidents here, but others have not been so lucky - one man in America had his jaw broken by a ‘flying’ metal oxygen tank during an MRI scan, and successfully sued for $150,000. The staff will tell you many an apocryphal story of women being stuck by their wedding or ear rings to the magnet until it’s switched off.

Biology building café, where many an unsuspecting fresher has been pounced on by the enthusiastically maternal catering staff for not fully maximising their meal card allowance. So next time you’re down there, pop in for a sandwich or three and marvel at all the interesting and bewildering activity going on around you.

Henry Blanchard

‘The Tower’ (that’s the official and inspired name) overlooks most of Science city, and provides a home to what a cynic might call the leftovers of the University - you’ll see floors dedicated to primary care, the odd architecture studio and some electronic engineers bemusedly wandering around. The sullen and overgrown brother of the graceful Trent building spire, ‘The Tower’ used to be used for charity abseils by Karnival, until the University got wind of the insurance premiums for such an audacious act, and that - as they say - was the end of that.

Of course, no tour of Science city could be complete without a mention of the

47

nigHts .ICE

One very unique Freshers’ week It is difficult to explain the importance of Week One to students and organisations outside of Nottingham University. Most Universities let a few affiliated clubs put on large events during Freshers’ Week and organise a mediocre Freshers’ Fayre.

At Nottingham University, things are done on a completely different scale. Week One organises dozens of hugely diverse club nights and parties by itself, as well as hundreds of different daytime activities and the largest Freshers’ Fayre in the country.

Competition to become a Week One Rep is pretty tough, and people go to some extreme measures to get elected! Reps escort freshers on nights out, whilst offering advice and support throughout the week. What makes Nottingham’s Freshers’ Week so unique is that it is organised and run entirely by Nottingham students, for the students. Any money made is pumped straight back into the Students Union where it is invested in sports, drama and student welfare. Sober daytime activities are also available and the infamous ‘Easy Tiger’ campaign raises awareness about safe sex and drink spiking.

If you haven’t already taken advantage of all the wicked things which Week One has to offer, make sure you take a trip down to Freshers’ Fayre. There is bound to be something which tickles your fancy and it’s so easy to get involved. If you have already done that, come along to ‘The Big Day of Fun’ which is jam packed with inflatables, food and taster sessions from all the different societies. Soon, the madness of Freshers’ Week will come to an end but we can’t stress enough how easy it is to stay involved in the Uni. There are loads of ways to do it, throw yourself into all it has to offer, and we can guarantee an unforgettable time at Nottingham.

Rob Greenhalgh

club rundownclub rundownclub rundo Isis

Oceana

Redfield Way

Lower Parliament Street

48

For those of you who have been to one of the many Oceana clubs dotted around the country you’ll know what to expect…. but for those of you that haven’t, be prepared.

Monday nights at Oceana are the number one student night in Nottingham, and when you walk through the doors you’ll understand why. Drunkenness and debauchery are two words that immediately spring to mind. With its six rooms, including an R&B room, an authentic ‘snowlodge,’ a chilled boudoir lounge, and (my personal favourite) a cheese room playing ‘old school’ tunes, there is something for everyone to dance to. The cheese room has an illuminated dance floor where you can crack out whatever dance moves you want, because it really doesn’t matter how much you embarrass yourself when Dancing Queen comes on. And with drinks at £2 it’s guaranteed that you’ll be showboating, even if you didn’t intend to. The good news is, when everyone gets kicked out at 3.30, just across the road you’re greeted with the delights of Food Factory, serving every takeaway you could wish for, all under one roof. But that’s only if you can make it that far.

Needless to say, Monday nights at Oceana are not to be missed; tickets are available from your Karni reps in halls around campus.

Isis is secretly adored by everyone, and promises a classic student night out: providing cheap vodka redbull and blaring out ‘total eclipse of the heart’ at 1am. Girls tend to dress up according to the provocative weekly theme (army girls, bikini babes…) whilst the rugby, football and hockey teams stumble around in their chinos, shirts and ties. There’s a questionable ‘VIP’ lounge on the top floor and a circular balcony overlooking the dance floor - perfect for catching people busting out their best moves. Finally, your Isis experience wouldn’t be complete without taking a ride on the waltzer and a spin around the strippers’ pole. Have yourself a messy (cr)isis… (just don’t expect to remember it!)

Kirsty Taylor

Steph Aldrich

club rundownclub rundownclub rundownclub rundow Ocean

Dogma

Greyfriar Gate

Byard Lane

Ocean is a bit like ‘X Factor’. Not because Leona Lewis is one of the last songs played every week, and certainly not because there is anything special about it. But because in the same way that you’ll sit in front of the TV on Saturday and watch Britney wannabees, you’ll go to Ocean on friday because there is nothing else to do. And you’ll go grudgingly, knowing it should be shit.

Having been told that there are no tickets left on the door, you’ll get there so early it’s still light only to find the place empty. After negotiating your way past the charming Ocean bouncers, the first thing you might notice is the sweltering heat. Or the smell. Or the fact that the floor is so sticky it takes considerable effort to walk across.

Yet by the end of the night, you’ll be sorry to leave. Yes you’ll be covered in alcohol and dripping in sweat, but by 2am you’ll be singing along to your favourite cheese, and secretly quite enjoying it. And you can be safe in the knowledge that next week, everything from the queue to the playlist will be exactly the same.

Dogma is a bar/club and daytime eatery, which offers a slightly more upmarket option to the usual student haunts. If you fancy a change from the norm then Dogma may be the choice for you. Set in the heart of the Lace Market, it is a fairly pricey option, but the expense is well worth it. Thursday is the most popular night for students. Aptly named Dogma Presents, it is a showcase of talent for well known DJs. Last year’s Thursday line-ups included Marcus Intalex, Sinden and Herve amongst others.

The patrons are predominantly from Nottingham University although there is a smattering of welldressed locals. It is free to get in but unless you are a very cheap date I suggest getting on the White Lightning first as any drink other than Fosters is going to set you back. If you don’t fancy Dogma as a night out it is a great place to take a girl/boy, or, if you are feeling particularly well off, the lunch time platters are fantastic. For more information on Dogma go to www.dogmabars.com

Jack Cooper

Niall Farmer

Stealth

Masonic Place Stealth has been described as Nottingham’s ‘Superclub’ - for many this term conjures up images of topless Serbo-Croat men dancing to Euro-house. Fear not, however, as Stealth is seen by many (including Nottingham Bar and Club Awards 2008) as the best club in the East Midlands. It offers an alternative to student nights - new music from a myriad of genres and a break from fancy dress, the Baywatch theme and the large number of bad smells that arise from Nottingham’s carpeted clubs. Monthly Friday nights invite the world’s most talented and recognised drum & bass, dubstep, techno, electro and breaks DJs. Saturday nights at Stealth differ in many ways from Fridays, rather than dedicating the night to a music genre all five rooms of Stealth are opened up and something different is offered in each one, from Indie-Electro to Grime. On weekdays established as well as up-and-coming bands play Rock City and The Rescue Rooms; October’s gig listings include Foals, Roots Manuva, The Courteeners, MGMT and (unfortunately) The Ting Tings.

Aside from the music the night itself has a lot to offer. For those with more of a gleam in their eye than a deft ear for the music, nights at Stealth do not disappoint. Swathes of good-looking boys and girls flock to Stealth regardless of the night with Saturday nights being renowned for its prettier-than-thou clientele. With a relatively even mixture of Nottingham University and Nottingham Trent students, the environment in Stealth is friendly and relaxed and the large covered smoking area encourages you to meet people who don’t just live on your hall corridor or do your course. Drinks are cheap, there is never a queue at the bar and unlike many of Nottingham’s other night’s closing time isn’t until 6am on a Friday and a Saturday. For more information on Stealth, visit www.stealthattack.co.uk/ Niall Cooper Farmer Jack

49

A Quiet(er) Night out Pretty soon all the crazy, late nights of week one will have begun to catch up with you, and you’ll feel like you are slowly dying of freshers’ flu, or may simply want a relaxing evening off to catch up with friends. If this is the case, then Malt Cross is the place to go - the prices are student-friendly and the food is worth it. You can continue in party-mode and go for beer, choose to detox with fruit tea or opt for the white hot chocolate with cream and crushed maltesers (a sure way to get your endorphin dose for the day). You’ll be pleased to know that the juices and coffee used are fair-trade. As well as music gigs there’s an art gallery in the backroom with regular exhibitions. With no sense of being rushed out to make space for more customers, you can quite easily sit there all day, all evening and work your way through brunch, lunch, tea, dinner, drinks, and more drinks…

Louise Fordham

Your one and only food and takeaway guide Mooch

Dino’s

Fed up of greasy takeaways and anti-Atkins hall food? If so, we recommend paying a visit to Mooch on campus. It was only built last year so as far as student unions go, it’s pretty swanky.

Mooch boasts comfy sofas, pool tables, friendly staff and cheap food – providing everything you need for a good afternoon/evening. Food is served daily until 9pm and the menu is student-friendly: varied and honestly priced. We recommend the Thai Fishcakes for £3.25 - just remember to show your student card to ensure you pay the student rates. Have a post-dinner drink on the terrace and then stroll back to halls or, alternatively, continue your night in The Venue next door. Done!

Steph Aldrich

Dino s is the ultimate in cheap, unwholesome fast food for Freshers. It is the perfect solution for staving off hunger if you don t mind the added exercise of dabbing the grease off your pizza onto the cardboard box. They do some great deals for delivery on campus, such as any two 9 pizzas for £5. They also have a selection of kebabs, drinks and desserts, including Haagen Dazs for a mere £1.50. To see a menu and price list head to www.eatstudent.com, which has full menus for all of these restaurants. For a similar dining experience with later opening hours, call D2 on 0115 9788811.

0115 925 8158

Rachel Whitehouse 0115 950 1119

Arco’s Pizza

Arco’s is an upmarket Dino’s for those living off campus in Lenton. The staff are friendly, patient, laugh rather than moan at those falling out the door, and even give the occasional drunk a balloon around Christmas time. Choosing a topping could not be easier, since they are in the cabinet in front of you.

Coherent sentences are not even needed - you can point.

Rachel Whitehouse

Fortune Boy

0115 911 6868

There’s a ten percent discount for students at this Chinese takeaway, but don’t forget to mention it when ordering and to bring ID. The exclusive student deals make it a viable option for those who want to order in food on a tight budget. The Special Dinner boxes are a bargain, the price may be small but the portion size is decent.

If you are even hungrier, there are Special Set Dinners, which can be ordered for up to 5 people, complete with prawn crackers, starter(s), main(s) and fried rice.

Rachel Whitehouse

Ocean Burger Van Believe the hype. There is no other way to end a 5-hour session in Nottingham University’s biggest night out than with an Ocean Burger. You may scoff at the thought of fast food being disgusting or simply be more of a kebab lover, but for some unknown reason, the burger van will still beckon after a dip in the Ocean. For the connoisseurs amongst you, cheese, bacon and onions are available as extras, although Roquefort has yet to make an appearance. If you’re wondering why no other food stuff from this glorious establishment has been mentioned, rest assured. I’m sure they do have other food, but if you’re not ordering a burger, you’re in the wrong place…See you in the Ocean!

Hugo Gemal Jack Cooper Steph Aldrich

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gratis .ICE

WIN A DAB RADIO! If you’re new to university life, then it’s important to keep up appearances and make it to lectures. If you’re coming back for another year, you’ll know this is only true for the first few weeks. Still, occasionally you’ll need to get out of bed on time, and few alarm clocks are as flashy as the PURE Chronos iDock. It’s also an FM & DAB digital radio, and to top it all off if you get bored of the radio you can plug in your iPod and snooze to a soundtrack of your own making. And thanks to the kind people over at Galaxy Radio you can win one of your very own!

The Prize: The Chronos iDock. Comes with four independent alarms, adjustable sleep and snooze timers, a remote control and is even eco-friendly. The alarm tone can be set to DAB, FM, iPod or a simple tone.

For more information see www.pure.com The Prize-Givers: Galaxy Radio. Not only serves up great music but brings you daily entertainment news, fashion, film and loads more lifestyle information. All day Galaxy gives a mix of snappy wit, crackling humour, bundles of energy and top tunes. Tune into Galaxy at the weekend and hear specialist shows from top class DJs. You can listen to Galaxy on DAB

digital radio in Nottingham as well as digital satellite TV. To Win: Answer this simple question: Q: What killed the radio star? a) Video b) Tuberculosis c) A global conspiracy which controls the media and partitions information in such a way that we, the people, are forced to base our conclusions on erroneous data.

Enter: magazine@impactnottingham.com Correct entries will be placed in a hat and the winning entry drawn out. Entries must be in by Friday, 10th October

WIn theatre ticks

Quotability

Our reliable and dedicated Arts team have procured a pair of tickets for Seven Brides For Seven Brothers on Tuesday 21st October at 7.30pm at the Theatre Royal, Nottingham. It was voted the third best musical of all time by BBC Radio 2 listeners, so it must be worth a punt, right?

‘For a paranoid schizophrenic, he was a really nice guy.’

‘Have you never snorted galaxy?’

‘I will see you real soon Sophia :) verry good.’

‘Well, they’re going to get drunk, they’re going to get pregnant – what can I do?!

‘We can just fly to Namibia, and make our way from there.’

‘He’s waiting for a virgin.’

‘That sounds about as much fun as a night out with Robin Cook.’

‘You look like a metaphorical duck.’

‘After looking at the same girl for 7 hours...’

‘Sex in a laminator’ ‘This is what chuckle brother 1 said during orgasm.’

To get a chance to win, simply answer this question: Q) What is the name commonly given to London’s theatre district? a) The West End b) The Living End c) The End, Beautiful Friend, This Is the End, My Only Friend, The End...

Enter: magazine@impactnottingham.com The entry deadline is Friday, 10th October. The winning entrant will be notified at that time

Impact Staff

Issue 191

Editor-in-Chief: Rob Barham Editor: Ian Steadman Managing Editor: James Sanderson Associate Editors: Sophia Levine, Lucy Hayes, Emi Day Design Editor: Amy Bell Associate Design Editors: Charlie Walker, Anna Vickery, Sam Evans Image Editors: Nicole Samuels, Caroline Wijnbladh Website Editor: Phil Morton News Editors: Susannah Sconce, Camille Herreman, Sophia Hemsley Sports Editors: Charlie Eccleshare, Ben Bloom Arts Editors: Lotty Clifton, Clarissa Woodberry Music Editors: James Ballard, Elise Laker Film Editors: James Warren, Oli Holden-Rea Nights Editors: Steph Aldrich, Louise Fordham, Kirsty Taylor Science Editors: Henry Blanchard, Sophie Stammers Travel Editors: Bruno Albutt, Samuel Selmon Fashion Editors: Nikki Osman, Laura Sedgwick Publicity Manager: Scott Perkins

advertising Gary Cully SU Marketing Tel: (0115) 8468742 Email: Gary.Cully@nottingham.ac.uk

thanks

To laminators...you know what you mean to us.

To the maintenance men who have to traipse through the mess that is our office every day to stash their ladders.

To Academic Support, for using most of your plastic cups.

impact.edchief@gmail.com impact.editor@gmail.com

To Boots, for your meal deals packed full of goodness and value.

impact.managingeditor@gmail.com

To Sting, for being an unending source of inspiration

impact.designeditor@gmail.com

COntact us

sports.impact@gmail.com

.

apologies

Email:

The best way to contact us is via email, on impact.main@gmail.com Failing that, you can find us using whichever of the following details takes your fancy: Impact Magazine, Portland Building, University Park, University of Nottingham, Nottingham, NG7 2RD Tel: 0115 8468716

impact.associateeditors@gmail.com

impact.newsteam@gmail.com

impact.fashion@gmail.com impact.nicearts@gmail.com impact.nicenights@gmail.com impact.nicemusic@gmail.com impact.science@gmail.com impact.nicefilms@gmail.com

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