Welcome to Notts, We’re All Sluts Here

Ladies.

I hate to inform you that if you came here a virgin, you’re a prude. A shrivelled up, dried out raisin that is starved of any fluids to make you appealing. If you came here having slept with one or two people, you’re absolutely boring. Dull. A pear that’s been munched a couple of times and then discarded.

But, if you came here after sex with numerous people, an endless number you’ve now lost count of, you’re an orange. One that has been squeezed dry and utterly drained. An apple plucked so many times off of the tree to be left bruised on the ground. Because guess what...you’re a slut.

Gents.

I’m happy to inform you that if you came here a virgin – you will get laid...even though it’s tragic you haven’t already. Your peel will eventually be stripped, and you will revel in the tropical light of being made a man. If you came here having only popped one or two cherries, don’t worry, you will get laid again. With the same person or not. It will happen again.

If you’ve been around the orchard many times, it’s your lucky day! Lucky year! You’re going to spend plenty more time plucking fresh apples off of the trees, taking a bite and then getting a high five from your mates after. Because guess what...you’re all going to have sex and be congratulated for it.

Sorry, did I say something wrong there?

Let me try that again.

Welcome everyone to the University of Nottingham, where your sex life is your sex life. It’s yours to keep sealed behind your lips, for you and your partners alone to know. Or it’s yours to discuss with your friends who will support you.

There’s no need for me to segregate you all, because who you choose to be intimate with is your choice and no one else’s concern.

Don’t believe me? Well, I’ll let other students do the talking.

After speaking with twenty-three students from the University of Nottingham, and one student from Nottingham Trent University, there was a clear consensus: judging someone by how many people they’ve had sex with is shameful behaviour and, on the whole, prejudiced. Slut:

“A derogatory term for a female who has sex with multiple people.”

“A misogynistic word used to describe someone (usually a woman) perceived to be too sexual.”

But not everyone shared these sex-positive sentiments. Slut:

“Someone who actively sleeps around with people without caring about any of the consequences.”

When asked what a slut is, the majority of students responded that it was an insulting term used to oppress sexually-liberated people, with 83 percent indicating that it typically referred to females.

Furthermore, the eighteen students that confessed to having had sex maintained that their friends responded positively and supportively, for the most part. However, five students felt they had been pressured to speak about their experiences, and to seek out more sexual exploits, in order to fit in. This was something which had actually injured and ended some of their friendships going forward.

Now, I think that’s a much better explanation of what the sex culture at Nottingham is like. Not the humiliating rambles of prudes, sluts, and double standards. Rather, a sex-positive community that encourages protection (condoms are available through the C-Card scheme and STI tests at the health centre), respect, and the right to sleep with whoever you want.

By Córa-Laine Moynihan