IN Other Words

The Girls’ Trip

by Becky Slatten

FIRST OF ALL, this article is for mature audiences only…well, older people really, not necessarily mature. Meaning, the girls’ trip described here is more of the ‘Golden Girl’ variety rather than the ‘Girls Gone Wild’ type of debauchery. Though we do sometimes have our moments (and I can only speak for myself and my acquaintances), our trips are strictly PG-13.

And sorry, men. As much as I’d also like to write about the guys’ trip, I have absolutely no idea what happens when the males of the species go off together unsupervised, and I’m pretty sure I don’t want to. I envision a lot of golf and cussing and spitting and beer and red meat with maybe a little poker thrown in there, but beyond that, I shudder to think. We all know the rules - what happens on the guys’/girls’ trip stays there; so, while I can’t reveal the particulars, I can share a few tidbits which you may or may not find surprising. First of all, we don’t talk about you nonstop, or at all, unless you’ve done something wrong. Secondly, we don’t get dolled up and go out trolling for men. If we can manage to get multiple women dressed and ready for dinner at a restaurant, it’s a miracle; we certainly don’t have the energy to go to a bar afterwards. And thirdly, yes, we do have your credit card.

There are a few factors to consider when planning a girls’ getaway, starting with the guest list; it’s smart to include the right mix of high and low maintenance personalities for a couple of reasons. For example, if there are no bossy ladies in the group, the rest of us could easily spend three days on the sofa in pajamas going from coffee to wine; we need somebody to tell us to get dressed and get in the car. Conversely, an abundance of queens is a recipe for a cat fight; and queens need minions to do their bidding and form alliances. Also important is the general energy level of the group; does everyone get up early and go for a jog? Or lay around in jammies and drink coffee until it’s time to get ready for lunch? You really don’t want to be the only slug in the group because you’ll spend a lot of time alone and they’ll all go to bed early. Maturity level is another relevant factor; are we earnestly solving the world’s problems over a glass of pinot noir or drawing a mustache on the first to go to bed? In my opinion, as long as you have a sense of humor, it really doesn’t matter if you’re a queen or a minion, a morning person or a night owl, energetic or a slug. Live and let live and, most importantly, laugh.

Some of my favorite memories are from time spent away with girlfriends. I’m still close to my three besties from Dallas because we reconnect somewhere in the world at least once a year; we only have three rules - no shopping, no plays, no museums, we just hang out. My mother, sister, aunt, cousins and I all go to New England together every fall; and it’s because of those pilgrimages that we’ve formed such a close bond. Closer to home, memories of countless beach trips with girlfriends, including the muumuu dance party and the rubber snake in the swimming pool incident, never fail to make me smile. So, ladies, I hope I’ve inspired you to gather your tribe, go off together somewhere fun and make some wonderful memories. No woman ever said, “I wish I hadn’t spent so much time laughing with my friends.”