Incite Magazine - February 2006 by Incite Magazine

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Hamilton’s Aerotropolis ? Rwandan Restitution

08 | 04 • February • 2 0 0 6

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EDITORIAL

t’s easy to insult people in print. From gossip tabloids to opinion–page allegations to furtive notes scribbled in grade four classrooms, it takes a lot less nerve to mock or ridicule someone in black and white than it does in speech and gesture. A case in point: the Danish cartoon crisis. Briefly, the Danish newspaper Jyllands–Posten published twelve cartoons depicting, sometimes mockingly, the prophet Mohammed. Most Muslims interpret the Quran as prohibiting visual representations of Mohammed, and the paper’s action sparked sometimes–violent protests from Muslims aghast at what they saw as the paper’s disrespect. Jyllands–Posten solicited the pictures from Danish cartoonists in an effort to inspire the Danish media to be less self–censoring in their depictions of Muslim issues. The international attention to the cartoons has focussed primarily on juxtaposing the Jyllands–Posten’s right to free speech with Muslims’ right to freedom from religious persecution, with some comparing the cartoons to the anti–Semitic cartoons of Nazi Germany, and others equating the Jyllands–Posten’s right to print the cartoons with the foundational principles of Western democracy. Although their cause has been championed by nu-

merous media and government agencies, the paper issued an apology for printing the cartoons last Monday. Leaving aside the free speech issues for this editorial, as they are already being discussed in news outlets around the planet, I return to my first sentence. It’s a lot easier to insult people on paper than it is to say it to their faces. I don’t know any of those Danish cartoonists personally, but I have to wonder how many of them would have willingly walked up to the front of a mosque and showed the assembled faithful one of the cartoons. When printing a paper, you needn’t look all of your ten thousand (or ten million) potential readers full in the face and run each story and graphic by them, checking for reactions to potentially offensive content. No, you only need run your thoughts by your editor, a single, sleep–deprived being filled with lots of caffeine and comparatively little religious outrage. I’m still not sure what I think of the cartoons or of the paper’s actions in printing them, standing by them, and then apologizing for them. What this whole issue has convinced me of, though, is the necessity of never putting anything in print that I wouldn’t say in person. Now as the embodiment of the single, sleep–deprived being mentioned in the previous paragraph, my judgement of what I would be willing to say in person can admittedly be

Editing and Production Co–ordinator Catherine M.A. Wiebe Editors Samantha Green Kerry Scott

Kate MacKeracher Jacob Stewart–Ornstein

clouded by the 4:30 a.m. hubris that I euphemistically call “mad editing skills.” But whether copyediting in the wee hours or uploading to the printer at slightly–more–sane times, the saga of the Jyllands–Posten has reminded me of the responsibility to both print what I want to say and be willing to say—to anyone—what I want to print. Journalists or not, we all write things down, be they in papers, reports, diaries, or Post–Its, but we are often unwilling to say those things that we’ve written down to the people concerned. One can’t realistically play “what if” with the Danish cartoon case, but perhaps dialogue—real, face–to–face conversations—between the media and Muslim leaders could have averted, or at least mitigated, the now–deadly outcomes of the issue. Some may argue that printing the cartoons in a newspaper is an open invitation for anyone to read them, and thus just as good as saying it to anyone and everyone, but I think that’s a cop out. Too often we don’t think of everyone who could possibly read what we’ve written. Perhaps the Jyllands–Posten editors were okay with the moderate imams around the corner seeing the cartoons, but didn’t think as much about the extremists in Middle Eastern countries who are now resorting to violence to express their rage. Perhaps it’s okay to write something in an email to a friend, but

it’s quite a different matter when that friend leaves his laptop open and his roommate walks in and sees that same missive. Although it would be another example of 4:30 a.m. hubris for me to contend that Incite’s audience is the world, it is certainly not hyperbole to ask of my own writing what—if anything—about it would change if I knew its audience was the world. It’s a bit of a digression from this writerly revelation to the content of this month’s issue, but the weak link is that I’m proud to stand behind it all, no matter who reads it. Kerry Scott interviews James Stewart, a Canadian lawyer working at the International Criminal Tribunal for Rwanda in Tanzania on page twenty, and Nick Davies and Patrick Egit debate the merits of proportional representation on page eight. Page fourteen highlights the proposed “aerotropolis” development near the Hamilton airport just south of the city. Katie Smith and Muneeb Ansari have given us a well–researched piece that should inform you about this development with the potential to dramatically change the literal and figurative landscape of our city. So our little magazine is now going forth into the world, perhaps to be read, perhaps to be recycled, but certainly with the assurance that we will stand by anything we write, no matter who’s reading. I hope we can all say the same of our own written words.

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INSIDE

Layout Co–ordinator Sylvia Andreae Graphics Co–ordinator Erin Giroux

FEATURES

Graphics Boram Ham William Moffat Ian Sinclair Kendra Scarlett Antoni Zuzic Contributors Muneeb Ansari Nick Davies Patrick Egit Ben Freeman Emma Love Erin O’Neil Anna Strathy

Katie McCoy Evan C. Lichty Jennifer Carvahlo Steven White

6 Midnight Munchies 8 Rethinking Representation 12 Europe Your Way 14 Err-otropolis? 20 Rwandan Restitution

Incite reviews takeout past midnight Should Canada have proportional representation?

Claire Marie Blaustein Jeanette Eby Zsuzsi Fodor Rob Lederer Deirdre Mulcahy Kathryn Smith Hayley Watson

Jump across the pond on a budget What’s up with the Hamilton Airport development Interview with international lawyer James Stewart

Printing Hamilton Web Printing Impact Youth Publications 1004 King St. W. Hamilton, ON L8S 1L1 incite@mcmaster.ca Incite is published six times per academic year by Impact Youth Publications. 10,000 copies are distributed in the McMaster University–Westdale area. Entire contents copyright 2005–2006 Impact Youth Publications. Letters up to 300 words may be sent to the above address; they may be edited for length and clarity and will not be printed unless a name, address, and daytime phone are provided. Opinions expressed are those of the author, and do not necessarily reflect the views of Incite’s staff or Impact Youth Publications.

DEPARTMENTS

Cover art by Jennifer Carvahlo Cover design by Catherine Wiebe

4 11 18 23 24

Happenings: News from Near and Far Column: Rock of Ages Wanderings: A Visit to Hamilton Harbour Column: Pop What If...

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HAPPENINGS

MINUTES FROM LAST MONTH selected news from near and far

Organic objects minimalism

and

mute

The Museum of Art is ringing in the new year with three new exhibitions that run until February 26th. Items, the first exhibit, is part of the Cultural Incubator series, and is curated by a student in the Art History department. It looks at the organic forms created by static, manmade objects and structures. It includes works by Christo, David Nash, and Tadashi Kawamata. The second exhibition is titled Between History and Memory; it is a collection of works by Latin American artists from the Museum’s permanent collection as well as some pieces on loan from other galleries. The last show is a site–specific exhibition entitled Mute by Cuban artist Wilfredo Prieto. His art, which has recently been displayed in Cuba, Spain, and Holland, is described as minimalist and most relevant to contemporaries in his homeland.

And you thought ITB was a trek

Students enrolled in Inquiry in Science II (4SZ3) will have the chance to partake in a class trip to Hiroshima this May. The course, titled “Phoenix: Out of the Ashes and into the Atomic Age”, looks at the impact of nuclear weapons testing on humans and the

4 incite

inside the bubble

environment. The students on the trip will visit various sites connected to the dropping of the atomic bomb, as well as hear testimony from survivors.

the new athletics complex to be finished sometime around 2020, or when Mars attacks (whichever comes first).

Directors theatre

Students in the Faculty of Humanities returned from winter break to rumours of impending budget cuts including the cancellation of the Art History program. Fortunately, these rumours turned out to be false. They seemed to have been triggered by the programs at the School of Arts being up for review this year, a regular process in every department that aims to improve the quality of the education provided. Students and instructors have been assured via a letter from the Dean of Humanities, Dr. Nasrin Rahimieh, that there will be no significant changes in the near future.

serious

about

The McMaster School of Arts’ Directors’ Series began in late January and is running until the end of March. This annual series features shows directed by Theatre and Film students in their graduating year. Twelve plays, six written by the directors themselves, are featured this year, and are from a variety of genres. Best of all, admission to all performances is free. Visit the Faculty of Humanities website (www. humanities.mcmaster.ca) for more information and a list of show times.

With a minor in bulldozer avoidance…

The omnipresent noise and temporary fencing that can only mean construction have disappeared from at least one on campus site. Reconstruction of the entrance to the Refectory building, which houses Bridges, was completed in early January, restoring some luster to its façade. Considering that this relatively small task took around four months to complete, we should expect

Cancellation history

rumours

Mini–meds meet

are

McMaster Mini–Med School is set to open its doors to the public once more. A seven part lecture series organized by a committee of Mac Medical School Students, Mini–Med is designed to educate the public on a variety of health issues. This year’s lectures will tackle topics ranging from erectile dysfunction to breast cancer to alternative medicine. The series begins on 28 February and con-

tinues on Tuesdays from 14 March until 18 April. Money raised by the event will be donated to a variety of causes, with each presenter being given $500 to donate to the charity of his or her choice. Like the real thing, Mini–Med is the hottest ticket around, but at $125 for adults and $75 for seniors and students, it’s still a lot easier to get into than its non– “mini” equivalent.

McMaster active in spinal cord research

McMaster is undertaking the largest study to date on the exercise needs of paraplegics and quadriplegics. This 18–month study is expected to expand rehabilitation professionals’ understanding of the best exercise regimes for their patients. The study seeks to discover ways to help reduce current disproportionately high rates of heart disease, diabetes, urinary tract infections and pressure sores among those with severe spinal cord injuries. Finding the balance between having enough exercise to stay healthy and limiting a patient’s shoulder and elbow strain is vital as upper body injuries can cost paraplegics their independence. Compiled by Ben Freeman, Kerry Scott, and Jacob Stewart–Ornstein

in hamilton Hamilton airport commercial base?

solid liminary staff estimates suggest that

Transport Canada is reporting that flights at Hamilton’s airport declined in December to just below five thousand arrivals and departures, a fall of 7.5 per cent compared to December 2004 levels. It was the sixth consecutive month that flight numbers fell at Mount Hope. Since 2004, the hamilton airport has expirenced a decline of 21.8 per cent in passenger volume, compared to an average decline of 9.8 per cent nationally. Mount Hope activity peaked in 2001 with just over 111 000 movements. Last year’s total was slightly below 74 000. As of October 2005 Hamilton’s airport ranked 29th in the country for flight volume, well below its two major regional competitors. London was 17th while Kitchener-Waterloo’s facility stood at 14th. Both recorded more than 9 000 flights in and out in October against 5 500 at Mount Hope. The city owns the airport but leased it to a private company in 1996 for forty years. Tradeport International is scheduled to begin sharing revenues with the city in 2006, but pre-

will only amount to about $50 000. This is much less then the expected and tiny compared to the $2.5 million Hamilton has bugeted to sustain the viability of the airport in 2006.

Deep freeze at city council Fourteen of the twenty-two scheduled Hamilton city council and standing committee meetings were not held. The cause is uncertain but may include a shortage of councillors and conflicts among them. The majority of cancelled meetings were focused on the 2006 budget. The plan had been to complete the budget by January 31. Instead, six of the nine meetings didn’t occur and council has made little progress in addressing a $45 million shortfall and several million in proposed new spending. The month also saw the cancellation of both scheduled meyetings of the community services committee, and one each of the planning committee, the corporate administration committee and the social and public health committee. One council meeting was also dropped, as well as both regular meetings of the strategic plan-

ning and budgets committee. There are 19 major meetings scheduled in February, including five on the budget confined to the last half of the month. It remains uncertain if it will be finalized before March and the problems that have afflicted the council thus far in 2006 can be overcome.

HSR plauged with medival tax system Hamilton’s unusual tax system leaves most suburban areas with limited bus service and the HSR starved for revenue. The average single-family home in old Hamilton pays more than four times as much tax for the HSR as similar valued houses in Ancaster and Dundas. About 55 per cent of the HSR’s operating costs come from fares, with the remainder funded from property taxes. Last year, an average ($179 000) home in the former city of Hamilton paid $165 in taxes to support the HSR. The rate was $34 in Ancaster, $41 in Dundas, $53 in much of Stony Creek. Residents of Flamborough are charged nothing, since no HSR bus lines reach into the western suburb. Hamilton ‘s system is called “area

rating”. It’s also used to calculate variable tax bills for fire protection, recreational facilities and some storm sewer costs. Hamilton is the only city in Ontario (and perhaps all of Canada) with this type of tax system for transit. Area rating is a hang-over from amalgamation and was a consolation prize offered to suburban residents who were forced against their will to become part of the new city. But its roots go back to regional government when each suburb purchased HSR service from the former city of Hamilton. Today that means minimal service to Dundas, Ancaster, Stoney Creek and little more than trans-cab service to Glanbrook and an HSR eternally starved for funds. Some proponents of the current system point out that property taxes are a unreasonable way to support transit anyway and point to the transfer of gas tax revenues as the key to a better transit system. Condensed from reports by Citizens at City Hall. www.environmenthamilton.oct/CATCH. For updates, contact catch@cogeco.ca. Reprinted with permission.

in canada and the world 5x meaner than Rogers WORLD of BUSINESS – Rogers Communication Inc. has launched a lawsuit against BCE Inc. (Bell Mobility) for trademark defamation. Rogers is upset over Bell’s latest ad campaign which depicts a cheetah eating and then regurgitating a hare; the cheetah is meant to symbolize Bell Mobility’s wireless high speed service while the hare represents Rogers’. At the end of the spot, a Bell cell phone screen displays the statement: “New high–speed network 5x faster than Rogers.” Past Bell Mobility ads have included Rogers phones being flushed down the toilet or swept up by street cleaners. Rogers maintains that Bell’s ads have unlawfully inspired customers to switch to Bell’s newly launched wireless service. Bell has denied any wrongdoing, furthering the telecommunications industry’s image as a cheetah–eat–hare world.

Cartoon calamity SYRIA – Muslims upset over the publication of editorial cartoons depicting the Prophet Muhammad have set fire to the Danish and Norwegian embassies in the city of Damascus; they were later deterred in an attempt to storm the French embassy. The cartoons were ini-

tially published by the Danish newspaper Jyllands–Posten in September, but other papers in Norway, France, and Germany have since reissued them as a sign of solidarity with the paper and the ideal of freedom of speech. Then, on February 2, a Jordanian paper republished three of the cartoons alongside an editorial questioning the reactions they incited in the Muslim world. This sparked protests across the Middle East, including flag burning and violent demonstrations. The cartoons, including one that portrays the Prophet with a bomb–shaped turban on his head, are particularly offensive because Islamic law forbids any depiction of the Prophet Muhammad, Islam’s holiest figure. The Danish paper that originally published the cartoons has publicly apologized, but the protestors are demanding that all parties involved must follow suit and apologize for the wrong–doing.

tion–only premiere performance is set for March 23, and the show will run until late June. Ticket sales exceeded $1 million on their first day of release last May, and current sales total about $15 million. Tickets have sold to people around the world, including residents of Japan, Korea, Chile, and Finland. The cost of the production is estimated at $27 million. The Lord of the Rings musical is Toronto’s most ambitious theatre project in years, and those involved hope that the production will experience the success of long–running Toronto musicals like Mamma Mia. If everything goes smoothly, maybe this grand–scale musical will have LOTR fans and critics alike dancing in the aisles.

Lord of the ringing voices

ATLANTA – Coretta Scott King, the widow of Martin Luther King, died in her sleep on 30 January after years of poor health. She is the first African– American and the first woman to lie in state at the Georgia State Capitol building. Police estimate that up to 10 000 people passed by Mrs. King’s casket in the two–and–a–half hour viewing. After her husband was assassinated in 1968, Mrs. King carried on his work

MIDDLE EARTH, c/o TORONTO – The musical version of J.R.R. Tolkein’s The Lord of the Rings Trilogy opened on February 4. The three–and–a– half hour production was initially set to open for previews two days earlier, but was postponed due to technical glitches in the set. Previews will run for six weeks. The official invita-

United States mourns the deaths of two pioneering women

for racial equality. In 1969 she founded the Martin Luther King Centre for Non– Violent Social Change, in Atlanta, and in 1986 she won a fight to create Martin Luther King Day, a national holiday to mark his birthday. Mrs. King was 78. WASHINGTON – Betty Friedan, American feminist writer and social activist, died of congestive heart failure on 4 February, her 85th birthday. She was the author of the 1963 book The Feminine Mystique, which exposed the frustrated lives of American housewives in the 1950s and 1960s. The book was a bestseller and has sold over 2.5 million copies. Ms Friedan co–founded the National Organization for Women (NOW) in 1966, which it has since become the largest and most powerful organization in the American women’s rights movement. Working together with NOW, she led campaigns for equal pay and promotion, maternity leave, child care for working mothers, and the legalization of abortions. She was a conservative feminist, and opposed the extreme feminist movement, which she labelled as anti–male and anti–family. Ms Friedan is survived by a brother, a sister, two sons, a daughter, and nine grandchildren. Compiled by Erin O’Neil

incite 5

E R AC H E R

N N IG H T CH IES

REVIEW

MID U M

s the hectic days of midterms draw nigh, illustrious vendors of wholesome, food–like objects, such as Commons, and less wholesome, meat–like objects, such as Billy Bob’s, are emptying. The age–old alliterative epithet of “starving student” takes on new meaning, as emaciated youths hunch in library cubicles and behind computer monitors far into the night (or morning), with a cup of rapidly cooling caffeine and a selfless devotion to learning as their only sustenance. Wracked with World Vision–inspired scenes of malnourished students slowly wasting away in a neglected corner of 6th floor Mills, your concerned benefactors at Incite have devoted themselves, stomach and soul, to remedying your culinary deprivations. Braving botulism and surly delivery guys, Incite critically evaluates McMaster–proximate purveyors of late–night nutrition. We combed the yellow pages seeking local late–night establishments, and spent long hours calling faint–hearted, early–closing half–milers (including Forbidden City—apparently forbidden to us— and Valentino’s, who kindly answered their phone to inform us they were closed). Four separate categories—Service (phone manner, lateness of hours, and, most importantly, delivery speed), Taste (including smell and texture), Appearance (packaging, food appearance, attractiveness of delivery person), and Value (measured both qualitatively and quantitatively),—comprise the rating system we’ve acronymically dubbed “STAV” (which may or may not also be the name of the Basilique delivery guy). Equipped with the STAV results and our brief descriptions, Incite goes the extra gastronomic mile to ensure that you have the tools to make informed decisions about staving off starvation this midterm season.

Basilique

PHOTOS BY K ENDRA SCARLETT

1065 King Street West (905) 524–3444 Sun 12 p.m.–12 a.m. Mon–Wed 11 a.m.–12 p.m. Thurs–Sat 11 a.m.–3 a.m. Service: 2/5 Taste: 4/5 Appearance: 5/5 Value for money: 5/5 If your internalized mother has begun nagging you about your nutrition–less diet, Basilique is the ideal takeout solution. A generous layer of fresh, crisp vegetables, minimal grease, and a thin, European–style crust provide a meal that combines the sinful pleasure of fast food and the pseudo–healthy virtue of wheat–germ chocolate chip cookies. Reviewers also felt warm and fuzzy inside about supporting a local, family–run business (although said feelings may have owed something to the alluring Mediterranean accent of the telephone operator). The blank white pizza boxes screamed of the existential angst familiar to all writers of term papers and magazine articles: the blank white screen, blinking emptily… On a positive note, the cardboard is excellent for arts and crafts (if the box proves insufficient, you could move on to the pizza crust). Despite the tardiness of our very friendly Italian delivery boy, we agreed this pizza was well worth the wait; one reviewer gushed, “This is the pizza of the gods!” (She later admitted to consuming nothing but coffee in the previous twenty–four hours.)

Gino’s

1309 Main Street West (905) 525–4444 Sun 11 a.m.–1 a.m. Mon–Wed 11 a.m.–1 a.m. Thurs–Sat 11 a.m.–4 a.m. Service: 5/5 Taste: 3/5 Appearance: 4/5 Value for money: 4/5 The most memorable attribute of this pizza is the innovative, nay, ingenious box design; if there were a Nobel Prize for Pizza Container Engineering, Gino’s would deserve it. The key feature (no doubt patented, with several articles published in peer–reviewed journals) is a crevice for pizza dipping sauce in one corner, but overall structural stability and a corrugated grease shield also contribute to the brilliant design. The food itself is forgettable: medium greasy, medium fresh, and extremely messy (large chunks of something–or–other had an uncanny affinity for reviewers’ garments—no doubt a thorough investigation of this phenomenon could yield another Nobel Prize for Gino’s). The pizza did manifest an unusually high cheese content; reviewers described the cheese as “violent,” “decadent,” and “gluey.” We recommend ordering from Gino’s right after Imaginus visits. Not only will Gino satisfy your hunger pangs with passable victuals, but he’ll make sure you have enough leftover cheese to stick up all your posters.

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Pita Pit

7 Sterling (905) 529–7482 Sun 11 a.m.–2 a.m. Mon–Wed 11 a.m.–3 a.m. Thurs–Sat 11 a.m.–4 a.m. Service: 2/5 Taste: 1/5 Appearance: 3/5 Value for money: 2/5 Perhaps we made hasty selections, perhaps the pita artists had a secret grudge to settle, but our experience with the grand–daddy of all late night takeout places was certainly the pits. Imprudently selecting the Marauder pita with “the works” for our carnivorous reviewers, we little suspected the unchecked violence lurking beneath the innocuous pita surface; after an encounter with the Marauder left one Incite–r semi–comatose, the rest of us grew too timid to venture a taste (we’re almost certain he’ll regain the use of his taste buds after a few years of intense therapy—whether he’ll ever be able to look a pita in the face again is another matter). The hummus pita fared little better; the pita–makers blithely piled on “all the vegetable toppings” without questioning our order (hummus, feta, and pickles are not a harmonious combination. Just so you know). Reviewers called the gruesome result “the worst pita I’ve ever had,” and asked, with an agonized sense of betrayal, “Why didn’t they warn us?”

Pizza Pizza

1033 Main Street West (905) 527–1111 Sun–Wed 11 a.m.–2 a.m. Thurs–Sat 11 a.m.–3 a.m. Service: 4/5 Taste: 3/5 Appearance: 2/5 Value for money: 3/5 If being a student at McMaster doesn’t make you feel enough like a number, you may want to check out this production–line pizzeria. From the mechanized telephone service, which ran advertisements while we waited for an operator, to the rigidly punctual but somewhat stunned delivery guy (admittedly, it was midnight, and we’d just asked him for a photograph), this late night food option embodies the soulless efficiency of the modern age. Even the most naïve pizza–lover couldn’t imagine an Italian nonna preparing this pizza from her old–world recipe; the asymmetric slicing and haphazard topping distribution spoke of underpaid twelve–year–old girls working long hours in Chinese sweatshops to produce pizzas for shipping to your door by supersonic jet. Come to think of it, the little white table had been knocked askew by rough handling in transport. To add a personal touch, the Pizza Pizza box displays faux– multicultural photos of people grinning manically with their mouths full of pizza; we were distressed to learn, however, that our pizza was “made especially for you by __________.” Upper Left: Kerry starves as Basilique takes its time. Above: Our stunned and stunning Pizza Pizza delivery guy with Rob. Left: Catherine and Kerry enjoy Gino’s pizza...possibly too much

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incite 7

DEMOCRATIC DEFICIENCY?

DEBATE

Our electoral system has long been derided as unfair, but with dropping voter turnout and two straight minority governments it may be rapidly reaching a crisis point. So contend the proponents of proportional representation (PR), who believe that power within the house of commons should be allocated according to the popular vote rather then by the current riding system. Two provinces—BC and PEI—have examined PR as a potential provincial electoral system, though referendums in both provinces rejected a change from the current electoral model. A federal study of the issue has been delayed by the Liberal governments, and is unlikely under the new Conservative government, but many regard some reforms to the electoral system as inevitable. Currently we elect representatives using the British parliamentary model—the first–past–the–post system—where a candidate wins in each riding by collecting the most votes, typically much less then a majority. The debate over the electoral system is broadly split among party lines. Any change towards the PR system would be an enormous boon for the NDP— who could would almost double their number of seats—and very damaging to the BQ. The Liberals and Conservatives would lose some seats, but proportionally stay balanced. Potentially PR would be most beneficial for the Green party, who could go from 0 to 12 seats, but this number is questionable as often PR system put a minimum vote percentage before any seats can be won. Typically this cutoff is from three to five percent, the Greens won 4.5% of the popular vote in the last election. Incite tackles this topical debate with help from Patrick Egit who urges us to be cautious about throwing out our time tested electoral system, and Nick Davies to tell us why the PR system is for Canada.

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RETHINKING REPRESENTATION BY NICK DAVIES

f you were among the 60 per cent of voters who voted Liberal, NDP, or Green in the Ancaster–Dundas–Flamborough–Westdale riding on January 23rd, you might as well not have voted. Our riding sent Conservative candidate David Sweet to Ottawa with only 39 per cent of the popular vote. In New Brunswick, 39 per cent of voters went Liberal, and 35 per cent of voters voted Conservative. With a nearly equal level of support, the Liberals took twice as many New Brunswick seats as the Conservatives did. Nationally, 665 000 voters—nearly five per cent of b a l l o t s cast—chose a Green Party candidate in their local ridings. Yet not one of 308 federal seats went to the Green Party. Although these three examples of inequity may seem extreme, they are far from abnormal. Throughout Canada, the current first–past–the–post (FPTP) voting

system grossly distorts the actual will of voters. And although the system primarily short–changes smaller parties such as the NDP and the Green Party, it can also disadvantage

citizens who vote Liberal or Conservative. Perhaps this disenfranchisement explains Canadian voters’ increasing apathy—the 2004 election had the lowest voter turnout in over a hundred years, and this year’s turnout was only a few per cent better. Clearly, Canada’s democracy is in need of reform, and a federal voting system based on proportional representation (PR) is the solution to Canada’s problems with democracy. The national results for the New Democratic Party and the Bloc Québe-

SUPPORTING THE STATUS QUO BY PATRICK EGIT

fter an election in which 6 per cent of the vote made the difference between a new Conservative government and the continuation of Liberal rule, political pundits and armchair analysts are once again scrutinizing Canada’s electoral system. Canada currently elects Members of Parliament through the first–past–the–post (FPTP) system, whereby the candidate who wins the most votes in a riding becomes that riding’s representative. As opponents of FPTP are quick to remind us, this system is far from perfect, because only voters who supported the winning candidate have their votes represented. The system most highly touted by FPTP’s opponents to replace it is proportional representation (PR). However, despite the appeal of a system in which each vote would count equally, regardless of where it were cast, the call for PR would end up disenfranchising many Canadians, resulting in governments whose platforms would be representative of even fewer voters’ beliefs than governments formed under our current FPTP system. Switching to PR would not only fail to address the shortcomings of our political system—it would make matters worse. In practice, the most significant drawback of PR is that it produces fewer

majority governments, instead creating structures where extremist parties hold the balance of power. Outside of two– party systems, it is very unusual for one party to garner more then 50 per cent of the popular vote; smaller parties are therefore needed to make up a ruling majority. In this way, fringe parties of the right or left become the kingmakers, offering political stability in exchange for the governing coalition’s support of their policies. For example, powerful religious fringe parties in Israel, a country which subscribes to the PR system, have put forward controversial legislation on marriage, conversion, and secularism as a price for their support. There are presently no far–left or far– right parties in Canada that garner sufficient votes to gain any seats, let alone the balance of power. Indeed, in the recent election, the only currently–seatless party that would have gained a seat is the Green Party, which most Canadians would hardly view as extremist. PR would, however, create a fertile environment for the growth of such parties, which could include extremist religious parties, anti–immigrant parties, and Communist parties. Those worried about the rise of fringe parties in Canada would do well to examine Italy, where the neo–fascist Northern League party was given a small percent-

cois demonstrate the inherent unfairness of our electoral system. On January 23rd, 10 per cent of Canadian voters supported the BQ, and 17 per cent of voters supported the NDP. Yet 51 seats in the House of Commons went to the Bloc, and 29 seats went to the NDP. Crudely, the BQ captured twice as many seats as the NDP with half as many votes. How is this possible? Simply put, it is because our current FPTP voting system favours parties with strong regional support while disadvantaging parties supported by a broad cross–section of Canadians but which do not have localized “pockets” of popularity. This inequity is how the 1997 Liberals captured a majority of seats in the House of Commons with a mere 38 per cent of the popular vote. In FPTP, if you vote for a candidate who does not win in your riding, your voice is lost. The FPTP problem is exacerbated by our current disparities in riding population; for example, the four Prince Edward Island ridings each cover a population of approximately 32 000 people, whereas the average riding in any other province is comprised of 100 000 citizens. Why should you be able to triple the value of your vote by moving to PEI? A system of proportional representation ensures that every citizen’s vote has the same relative value, no matter the party that one votes for. The FPTP system also suffers a great deal from vote–splitting, a phenomenon characterized by the addition of more parties that support a similar political ideology, which then decreases the chance of any of them winning. A powerful example of this is the 1988 federal election, fought mainly on the issue of whether or not to continue supporting the Canada–U.S. Free Trade Agreement, signed a year before by

then–Prime Minister Brian Mulroney. At election time, there were three main parties at the federal level: the Liberals and the NDP, both opposed to the agreement, and the Progressive Conservatives, in favour of the agreement. On election day, 53 per cent of the popular vote went to the Liberals or the NDP, and 43 per cent of the vote went to the PCs, indicating that the majority of Canada was opposed to free trade. Yet, due to the nature of FPTP, the Tories took 57 per cent of the seats in Parliament, and the free trade agreement was ratified. Whether or not this was good for Canada in the long term is certainly debatable, however, it is clear that the will of the voting majority was not truly represented. Were a system of proportional representation in place, a Liberal–NDP coalition could have held the majority in Parliament, resulting in a very different outcome on free trade. Systems of proportional representation will also lead to better representation of minorities. Rather than only listening to the majority in each riding, representation would be given to every Canadian citizen, regardless of where they live. Some argue that PR would lead to fringe parties gaining too much power, citing the parliaments of Israel and Italy as examples of popular parties leading a minority government who are forced to make concessions to fringe parties with radical agendas in order to pass legislation. However, these are extreme examples; only two of over seventy nations employing proportional representation are cited as having such problems, and negotiating with fringe groups generally bodes poorly for the long–term popularity of a political party. Besides, many governments elected by FPTP, including the last two Canadian parliaments,

need to negotiate and compromise to gain support for their policies. At least with proportional representation, majority coalitions will actually represent a majority of voters. Why shouldn’t compromise be a requirement for governance? Canada has seen that when political parties do not need to fight for a true majority of votes, they can become complacent and corrupt. Nations with systems of proportional representation have more women in parliament than those without: compare the Canadian House of Commons, in which 21 per cent of representatives are female, to Sweden’s 45–per–cent–female parliament. Clearly, this correlation does not imply causality, and cultural differences may account for the disparity between men and women elected in these two countries. However, a system of proportional representation may well favour the presence of more women and visible minorities. Candidate rosters would be voted on country–wide, rather than just a single candidate for each party in each riding, and parties who run lists of candidates with a clear lack of women would be noticed and accused of sexism. It would be in the party’s interest to attract voters by presenting a list of candidates that accurately reflects the constituency of a country. Opponents of a proportional voting system argue that it does not allow regional interests to be met because candidates do not directly represent members of a specific geographical region and therefore would not fight for local issues, but this argument is an oversimplification of the PR system. Voters still need to choose between parties and candidates, and they are more likely to support a party or (Continued top of page 10)

age of the vote and managed to gain a few seats in parliament. Despite the fact the Northern League’s support grew only slightly in the 90s, the fracturing of Italy’s two main parties following corruption scandals allowed the extremist party to help form two governments. The Northern League won under 4 per cent of the vote in Italy’s last election, but their influence as government kingmakers is highly corrosive due to their xenophobic and racist policies. In Canada, while there are presently no parties with 4 per cent of the vote who are openly intolerant, there are a series of parties that could grow to that if a PR system is formed. Voters who know that their preferred fringe party or candidate stands no chance of winning a seat and are thus strategically voting for one of the main four federal parties could be enticed to fringe parties by the prospect of their specific interests actually being represented G RAPHICS BY E. C. LICHTY in Parliament. In the most recent election, the Green Party’s 4.5 per cent would have given them the balance of power, and though the Greens are a fairly mainstream party—certainly moreso than the Canadian Extreme Wrestling Party—their example shows how PR could result in small special–in-

terest parties holding vastly disproportionate power. A common denominator of most countries with PR systems is recurring political instability. PR turns Parliament from a place where legislation is passed into a bargaining house where

so focused on appeasing their coalition partners in order to pass budgets or other key pieces of legislation that they forget about their own vision and long term goals. In Italy, the current government consists of six parties who are constantly bickering, arguing, and negotiating, with coalition parties threatening to pull out when their interests are not appeased. Indeed, Italy has seen 59 different governments since the end of WWII. The only solution to this issue seems to have been realized in Germany where the two main parties formed the government (a move akin to Paul Martin and Stephen Harper governing jointly). However, the joining of the two largest parties runs the risk of making the electorate disillusioned with a system that is likely to produce a similar outcome each election and that leaves it to the fringe parties of the left and right to form the opposition. In Canada, we have lived through a year and a half of ineffective and often dysfunctional minority government. There has been instability and fighting, with the opposition constantly threatening to (Continued bottom of page 10)

no one party can ever reach anything close to a majority. While many consider it a good thing when parties compromise to pass legislation, PR involves so much compromise that Parliament ceases to have direction. Parties become

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(Rethinking Representation Continued) candidate with a track record of supporting local causes, just like with the FPTP system. A related criticism of PR is that there would be little incentive for members of parliament to fight for causes important to regions with small populations, since their votes may not sway the election results by much. However, proportional representation may offer some advantages over FPTP in representation of regional issues. Consider Prince Edward Island: in the recent federal election, only 52 per cent of voters voted Liberal—barely a majority. Yet all four ridings elected a Liberal candidate to Parliament, and the 33 per cent of voters who wanted a Conservative candidate were ignored. If a regional issue unimportant to the Liberal party arises on Prince Edward Island, islanders are unlikely to find their representatives rushing to champion their cause. With a greater diversity of candidates, it will be easier for proponents of local causes to find a supporter in Parliament. Furthermore, although proponents of FPTP may argue that it neatly allows for simple support of regional issues, they overlook that their system is missing equitable representation of minority ethnicities. For example, aboriginal Canadians are

grossly underrepresented in the House of Commons; this is largely because indiginous people make up the minority in almost all federal ridings, and so no candidate can win a majority only by appealing to aboriginal voters. There is therefore virtually no incentive with FPTP for a party to put forth a candidate that would represent and understand a non–localised minority—not just aboriginal Canadians, but also recent immigrants, francophones outside Québec, GLBT individuals, or physically or mentally disabled persons. Currently, minorities have to rely either on intensive lobbying or on the goodwill of the majority in Parliament to champion their causes. However, with proportional representation, it is in a party’s best interest to produce a list of candidates with diverse backgrounds, allowing all citizens a direct voice in Ottawa. Canadian politics at the federal level deal increasingly with issues of national governance and international relations; specific regional issues can still be dealt with in the provincial parliaments, or by

(Supporting the Status Quo Continued) overthrow the government. In the end, the Liberals finally passed a budget, but only after a defection from the Conservatives and concessions to the NDP. Things would be even worse under a PR system, with practically no hope of a single party winning a majority. Horse trading over legislation would become the rule rather then the exception. Another major defect of the PR system is that it disenfranchises local regions. The FPTP system does a much better job of regional representation. Currently, each riding in Canada is represented by someone who knows the region and understands what is important for the people of that riding. In parliamentary debates, members from different ridings discuss specific issues that are priorities in their riding, whether that be a pulp and paper factory closing in a riding in British Columbia, smog causing asthma in a riding in Peterborough, or farm financing in Saskatchewan. In some cases, Members of Parliament may even vote against their own party on legislation that would do damage to the ridings they represent or may convince their party to support a piece a legislation they otherwise would not. An example of the latter is Loyola Hearn, the Conservative MP from Newfoundland, who convinced his party to support the Atlantic Accord. This regional devotion would be eliminated under the PR system, as MPs would be hand–picked by the party leader based on their willingness to follow party dogma. Ridings such as James Bay, Ontario and Churchill, Manitoba are currently repre-

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sented by a single seat. That these small, isolated communites have representation in Parliament means that party leaders must at least consider the concerns of the local electorate if they expect to take one of those seats. Candidates from those areas attempt to earn support by canvassing the area, sometimes using single propeller planes and dogsleds to reach small communities in the region. If Canada had a PR system, there would be little incentive for parties to campaign and fight for the interests of communities away from huge population centers. Parties would not put in the time, effort, or money to campaign in areas the size of France with populations the size of Sarnia. Campaigning would be much more focused on urban and suburban ridings with high voter densities. Other nations with PR usually have a more equal spread of population throughout the country; in Italy, for example, Rome (the largest population centre) is in the centre of the country, Milan (the second largest) is in the north, and Naples (the third largest) is in the South. Even Italy’s rural areas are relatively close to urban centres, creating a more integrated relationship between the interests of rural and urban inhabitants. In Canada, where the majority of the population lives in Toronto, Ottawa, Montreal, Vancouver, Calgary, and Edmonton, areas such as the North, the prairies, and the Atlantic provinces will be overlooked by political parties.

implementing a hybrid system of partial proportional representation. Take, for example, the system currently used by Germany, in which half of the federal parliament seats are elected according to a FPTP system, and the other half according to a system of proportional representation. Their system strikes a balance between consideration of regional issues and fair representation to all citizens of Germany. An oft–quoted argument against proportional representation is that its implementation would result in the fragmentation of Parliament as dozens of new parties form once they are given the opportunity to gain a foothold in the House of Commons; however, case studies show that fragmentation of parliaments after the introduction of proportional representation is minimal. Many countries establish a minimum requirement of popular votes (anywhere from 3–5 per cent) before a given party is allowed representation in parliament, and this safeguard prevents unpopular radical groups from gaining power. T h e first–past– the–post system is outdated. It distorts the will of voters and disadvantages minorities. A massive overhaul of the Canadian voting system is needed, and for an equitable and responsible government, proportional representation is the clear solution.

The interests of Canada’s rural and urban areas are far from homogeneous, and our less–than–uniform population density means that primarily–rural provinces like Saskatchewan may be overlooked come campaigning time in a PR system. The issue of electoral reform is an important one for the Canadian political system. The current system does not take into account the votes of millions of Canadians that cast a ballot for a party that did not win in their riding. Yet to dismiss the system completely and to replace it with a very different one with its own set of problems should not be done hastily. Despite its shortcomings, the first–past–the–post system has generally given Canadians Parliaments that they were content with. Even the two most recent elections have done well to reflect Canadians’ wishes. In 2004, following allegations of Liberal corruption, the party was reduced to a minority. In 2006, after reports confirming the corruption, the party was thrown out of office, reflecting Canadians’ desire for change. But while Canadians desired some change, they were uneasy with the prospect of giving the Conservatives too much power, and thus gave Stephen Harper only a minority government. While the problems of first–past–the–post should be engaged with, debated, and dealt with, a switch away from FPTP to a PR system would give too much power to fringe parties and causes and ultimately disenfranchise an even greater number of people.

rock

the piccolo, which is higher and smaller than a normal flute. As people, the flutes generally have really good posture and can be either the sweetest or the most evil of the orchestra members. The oboe sets the pitch for the orchestra when they are tuning, and gets the most flack for being out of tune. The clarinet provides a more alto sound that is, in my opinion, less grating than that of an oboe, and the players usually match the sound. Bassoonists, like cellists are the cool, laid back type—there must be something about the lower register that increases relaxation. The brass section has it rough—they often have to go pages and pages without anything interesting to do, and sometimes resort to paperback books to fill the time. On a side note, brass players have the best parties. Again, register affects personality. The trumpets are often the most abrasive, to match their sound. The French horns are as mellow in person as in tone, and the trombones are actually as funny as they look. The tuba is allied with the double basses on that outside flank and, for his three or four notes, really pumps up the bass. Way, way, way in the back is the percussion section. They have the most toys—gongs, cymbals, drums, shakers, clappers, and even an occasional triangle. Every person plays multiple parts, and it’s an amazing dance to watch them play the triangle with one hand and the woodblock with the other. Being drummers, they automatically get some cool points within the ensemble, but with all of the gadgets, there’s also a bit of an AV club feel around them—so it’s a balance. Also at the back are the harpists, who are almost always pretty. I don’t know what genetic forces produce incredibly attractive people who feel the need to wheel around several hundred pounds of metal and wood, but it works for them. With this many disparate individuals, it might seem amazing that they can all get together and produce a concert of beautiful music. It helps that the conductor is up front giving some direction, but never think that the ensemble is just following along. The orchestra outnumbers the conductor, and can easily take control if there’s a bad conductor holding the baton. There is also the issue of the soloist. This doesn’t always come into play, but when a concerto is on the program, it adds a whole new personality into the mix. The soloist usually doesn’t come in until one or two rehearsals before the concert. She is kind of like the conductor in those instances— the highest rung on the ladder, but easily overwhelmed by the superior numbers of the ensemble. It is a balance of power, and one that is navigated only by mutual respect, diplomatic skill... and occasionally by the soloist holding her tongue rather than making the comment that is really in her head. An orchestra concert may not be a ballet, but it is a dance all its own—a delicate equilibrium of practice and power, love and hate, sound and silence. And when the result comes, in the form of wave after wave of music, pouring out over the audience and filling your skull and stomach the way you thought only a rock band ever could, it is ever the more marvellous that these 100 people could come together, sit in their circle, and play. If you want to witness the product of these many faceted musicians, try the Hamilton Philharmonic Orchestra (http://hpo.org) or the Toronto Symphony Orchestra (http://www.tso.ca). Both organizations have cheap tickets available to students.

ages

YOUNG PERSON’S GUIDE TO THE ORCHESTRA

G RAPHIC BY W. M OFFAT

COLUMN

oing to orchestra concerts is a lot like going to kindergarten. There are lots of rules: No Running, No Loud Noises, No Candy, No Gum, No Clapping (except at designated times), Wear Nice Clothes, Behave Like a Gentleman/Lady. You sit in your seat, pay attention to the person (or people) at the front, and when it’s over, you probably should have learned something. I could say that I’d like concerts to be more like recess, but that’s not entirely true. There is a certain decorum to classical music, and a lot of the rules make sense and ensure everyone can listen without being bothered. But even with rules fit for small children, it doesn’t have to be an entirely “they play, you listen” kind of situation. Something that helps orchestra concerts to be a more participatory process is really understanding what’s going on. And I don’t just mean knowing what the name of the piece is, what era it’s from, and that kind of thing. I mean really knowing what’s going on, what goes into making the concert what it is. And a lot of that has to do with the people up on stage. Just like your kindergarten teacher, orchestra memebers are people—real, flesh–and–blood people. It’s hard to see them that way, since the orchestra is designed to work as a homogenous unit, but under the black dresses and penguin suits lives a very interesting group of people. I can’t possibly describe here all of the different personalities that go into making up an orchestra. And if what you listen to is an indication of your personality, an even more profound indication is the instrument you play. So, to give you a sense of how the dynamics work within the ensemble, here are some generalizations: The orchestra is made up of four primary sections: strings, winds, brass, and percussion. They sit around the conductor in concentric circles, all facing forward. If attending an orchestra concert is like going to kindergarten, sometimes being in an orchestra is just as bad, if not worse. The strings sit up front, in the ring closest to the conductor. The first chair of the first violins is called the concertmaster. Among those of us fortunate enough to be string players (a category in which I am proud to be included), there is a sense that we are absolutely better than any of the other sections. The first violins are generally the prima donnas, with the feeling of superiority and entitlement that comes with playing notes up in the stratosphere and sitting up front. The second violins are slightly less egotistical than the firsts, but take comfort in their secondary status knowing that they are still superior to the violas (and in knowing that they might become first violins someday). The viola is the butt of every orchestral joke. (“What’s the difference between a violin and a viola? The viola burns longer.”) The cellos are the cool kids of the string section—they get to lean against their cases looking suave, and the girls are never forced to wear skirts. The double basses form a standing line along the right flank of the ensemble and add that subwoofer rumble to the lower registers. The woodwinds form the next circle behind the strings. Because there are usually only two or three instruments to a section, rather than 10 or 15 in the strings, these players have to be seriously on the ball. No missed notes, no forgetting an entrance—the pressure is intense. On top of it all, there are times when they aren’t even playing their normal instrument—woodwinds often need to know other versions of their instruments, like

by Claire Marie Blaustein incite 11

TOOLBOX

The Fin a l F ie l d Tr ip Emma Love and Hayley Watson’s guide to backpacking Europe

G RAPHIC BY K ATIE M CCOY

ver since the sixties, backpacking across Europe has been a right of passage for North American university students. Who could resist a continent where castles are as common as Tim Hortons are in Hamilton, they serve beer at McDonald’s, and the people bathe topless without shame? Chances are you’ve at least thought about travelling through Europe. But before you can sip espresso in quaint cafes and channel Ernest Hemingway, you’re going to need to do some planning. Backpacking around Europe requires more planning than the all–inclusive vacations to tropical party zones that so many students opt for. For instance, do you want to go to Europe in pursuit of fine art or fine ale? How do you want to get from place to place? Do you mind reliving first year and spending every night in a dorm? If you make these decisions in advance, you’ll thank yourself later when you have a place to go, a warm meal to eat, and a bed that doesn’t happen to be located in a jail cell.

The road less (or more, or so– often–it’s–a–cliché) travelled While the best trips are often those that stray far from the initial itinerary, setting down a rough timeline is a good way to figure out how many places you can explore, how many hostels you will have to brave, and how many Euros you should expect to drop. You can also start thinking about the style of trip that you want; if you want to go to Europe to soak up the sun during the summer, you might want to stick to the Mediterranean countries such as Spain, Italy, and the south of France; for a more urban adventure, a tour of France, the Low Countries and Germany will be more appropriate. To satisfy your thirst for a true European experience, expect to spend at least a month there. Purists may tell you that it’s blasphemous to spend anything less than several weeks experiencing the nuances of each new country, but realists will recognize that some states may have to be enjoyed in as little as a few days. Check out some backpackers’ guides to figure out which countries you’ll want to prioritize and which you’re willing to absorb in a top–five–attractions–style blur. Guides like Let’s Go: Europe and Lonely Planet: Europe on a Shoestring include sample itineraries and give you a broad overview of every European country. Don’t hesitate to pester everyone you know

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who has already travelled Europe. But be warned, parents who “did Europe” out of their canvas rucksacks back in the seventies tend to forget how much can change in twenty–five years. Don’t worry if the trendy artistic alcoves that they rave about have become sketchy red light districts; this likely says little about your mom’s choices during her hippy days, and more about the nature of urbanization and the passage of time.

Who could resist a continent where castles are as common as Tim Hortons are in H a m ilton ? How to ﬁt your life in a backpack Buying supplies for your European adventure is not only a necessity, but also a great way to make it feel more tangible than, say, Googling the phonetic way to say “hello, where is the toilet?” in several Romance languages. The first and most obvious thing that you are going to need is a backpack, and the Jansport pack that got you through school is not going to suffice. What you need is a pack with a sturdy frame and padded hip belt. Make sure that your selection distributes weight evenly, or you’ll probably feel (and look) like a turtle for the duration of your trip. Some packs are designed specifically for one sex or for people of certain builds, and these may be worth a look. Frame backpacks can range from $120 to $350, and this is one area of your trip that you will not want to scrimp on. You may also want to invest in a sleeping bag for your trip, especially if you do not want to pay for sheets in hostels or if you plan on roughing it outside or in train stations. A good sleeping bag should be made out of synthetic materials, since it will dry faster when it gets wet, and should be able to keep you warm to at least zero degrees Celsius if you’re travelling in the fall, winter, or spring. If you’re

going in the summer, particularly to Southern countries, folding a bedsheet in half and sewing it together along the bottom and most of the side is a cheap and compact alternative to a sleeping bag. Also, remember that whatever you buy or sew has to go on your back, so make sure that it’s lightweight. A sleeping bag will cost you anywhere from $50 to $100 and again, is probably worth splurging on. There is other gear you will want as well. A rain proof sheet to cover your bag will prove handy when you want to keep all your souvenirs and clothes dry. Wrapping all your items in plastic bags, while far less glamourous, is cheaper and will definitely look more hard–core. A padlock for use at hostels and train stations is another useful, item. Make sure you get one that cannot be broken with lock cutters. Pick up a durable shatterproof water bottle, and consider investing in water purification tablets. Although most of Europe’s drinking water is safe, it’s best to be prepared if you end up somewhere with water that looks more like Guiness than Dasani. Finally, to ensure your own safety—and your mom’s peace of mind— you may want to buy a passport and money belt that can be worn under your clothes. You can sleep with it on and it provides protection from pickpockets and thieves who target naïve–looking North American tourists. For the same reasons, be sure to buy travellers’ insurance and travellers’ cheques before you leave to further protect yourself while you’re on foreign soil. When budgeting for the trip, ensure that you have enough money (in cash, travellers’ cheques, or credit cards) to get you through any unforeseen situations—the last thing you want is to have to call your parents from the Canadian embassy begging them to wire you money. When packing, make sure you include a shirt or sweater that covers your shoulders and a something for your bottom half that goes past your knees. It would be a shame to be barred from Notre Dame because the tank top and mini skirt that got you into a disco the previous night are less appreciated by nuns than bouncers. You also need to bring things that are practical and that will dry fast, so consider leaving behind your favourite silk shirt and bringing a sarong that can double as a towel instead. Medications will certainly be harder to acquire in a foreign country, so bring enough for the time you plan to be away and then an

extra week’s worth, just to be safe. Finally, although you will be partying with your friends and seeing all the new sites, you are going to want something to do in the event that you don’t meet Julie Delpy or Ethan Hawke on your train trips. Bring a lightweight book and a journal—in the words of Oscar Wilde, “I never travel without my diary. One should always have something sensational to read in the train.”

Now I lay me down to sleep… The smell of B.O., the chatter of foreign languages as people stumble around drunk at four in the morning, and the prevalence of communal showers are just a few of the joys of hostelling, which is an integral part of the backpacking experience. Hostels, although not luxurious, put a roof over your head and can be a lot of fun. There are hostels for every type of person. Some have bars and clubs in them and promote a fun party atmosphere, while others have quiet times and curfews. When your parents were backpacking around Europe in the sixties and seventies, they might have been able to march right up to any hostel and get a room for the night. Times have changed. While some hostels do not accept reservations at all, others will require that you notify them of your arrival ahead of time. We recommend booking your first night’s accommodation before you get there, to avoid that “oh crap, I’m going to have to sleep in the gutter,” moment immediately following the jet lag of a five–to–seven–hour flight. Once you get there, though, use the tourist accommodation offices that you can find at the train stations of any major city. If you arrive in the city by mid–afternoon, they should have an English–speaking clerk who can get you a reservation and send you on your way there with a map of the city to guide you. Although booking all your hostels in advance will provide your anxious mom with a sense of security, advance reservations will also severely curtail those “spontaneous jaunt to Sicily, anyone?” impulses. A good site for checking out hostels before you leave is www.hostelworld.com, which will tell you all you need to know about European hostels. Be prepared to spend at least $20 Canadian each night. To save some money, consider joining Hostelling International (HI). For a yearly fee, you get reduced rates at hostels that are a part of HI, and they also have a website, www.hihostels.com, where you can search hostels that are a part of the association. There are other factors that you want to keep in mind when choosing a hostel. Some hostels have lockout hours, which means that after a certain time (usually two a.m.)

they lock the doors and, if you’re still outside, you’re on your own. If you want to be able to get into where you’re staying at any and all times, try for a hostel without lockout hours. However, the advantage of hostels with lockout hours is that they tend to attract a slightly–more– sleep–treasuring crowd, which may seem more appealing as you reach the final days of your European adventure. You should also look for hostels that offer lockers and secure luggage deposits. These services may come at a price, but it is well worth it to keep your stuff safe. Most hostels offer a variety of rooms you can choose from, varying from single rooms to summer camp style dormitories. By losing some of your privacy in the dormitory, you can save a lot of money—so if you’re trying to do your trip on the cheap, it may just be worth putting a price on your dignity. A reputable hostel should also have a kitchen and warm shower facilities. Many hostels also have Internet access, a common room, and in some cases a restaurant. Hostels are also not the only accommodations available to young travellers. YMCAs are scattered across Europe and often offer lodging, although it does tend to be more expensive and less secure than a hostel. If you are under 18, you may need to gain permission from your parents in order to stay there. University dorms are another possible option. Dorms are usually available when school is not in session, and any vacant ones are listed in travel guides. If you’re travelling with one or two friends who don’t snore too badly, it may also be worth checking out one star hotels in your city of choice. A room (with two single beds or a double bed) in one of these hotels will usually run you under $35 or $40 Canadian each night, which is often cheaper than a hostel for two or three people. For the truly adventurous, there is the outdoor option: either camping or roughing it in the city. Camping can be a cheap, fun way to make your way across the continent. There are organized campgrounds outside of many European cities, and travel agencies such as Travel Cuts (www.travelcuts.com) provide all–inclusive camping tours that you can sign up for. As for the city, some backpackers choose to sleep on the floor of a train station, particularly if you’re getting into the city too late to find a hostel for the night. I would recommend it only as a last resort, as it’s dangerous and increases the chances of all your worldly possessions being stolen in the night. If you do choose to rough it, try to sleep in shifts with other backpackers so someone can stand guard. Also, choose a well–lit public area for safety. One redeeming quality

about this style of accommodation—if you can call it that—is that you’ll have a great story to tell people when you get home.

Trains, planes, and automobiles Perhaps the most important (and intimidating) part of the planning process is to figure out how you’re actually going to get around Europe once you arrive. Travel by train is probably the most common way to get around, and for many backpackers, the train is the only “real” way to experience Europe. There are a variety of rail passes available, and it can be complicated to figure out exactly what combination of passes would be best to get you around. A great tool that figures this out for you is the Rail Saver (www. railkey.com/tickets). Just enter your itinerary, and it will tell you which passes will be required to get from place to place. Expect to spend a few hundred dollars on a rail pass. A 15 day student pass is just under $400, while a one month pass will run you about $600. Air travel can also be surprisingly cheap in Europe—a flight from Paris to London, for example, will easily be under $100 CAD. To make things even easier, there are plenty of websites available that allow you to book your own flights. When booking, experiment with arrival dates and locations to find the best deals. It may also be possible to sign up for “fare watcher” programs that alert you when prices drop. Although it may cut back on spontaneity, booking flights ahead of time will save you money. If you’re travelling in a group and want some extra freedom, it may be worth your while to rent a car. Keep in mind that an average size car in Europe would be classified as an “ultra–compact” over on this side of the pond, so if you travel with lots of luggage or your companions on the trip are proud members of your school’s basketball team, you might want to seek out a larger vehicle. Shop around several agencies to find the best deals, and don’t forget to factor in expenses like gas, insurance, and road tolls. Also, remember that cars in Europe tend to be standard. To avoid an embarassing stall–screech– stall–screech along the Autobahn, you may want to practice working that clutch prior to departure. Finally, take some time to explore alternate modes of travel. Cycling, hiking, bussing, and taking ferries are some other great ways to get around from country to country. Preparing for a trip around Europe can be a daunting task, but generations of university students before us testify that it can be done. And besides, looking for hostels in Europe beats looking for a job any day. Happy trails!

...that “oh crap, I’m going to have to sleep in the gutter” feeling...

incite 13

FEATURE

Err-otropolis? BY KATHRYN SMITH AND MUNEEB ANSARI

n an attempt to bolster Hamilton’s economy, city officials have proposed the construction of an “aerotropolis”—a master–planned community that would grow around the John C. Munro Hamilton International Airport (HIA, or “hi” in the airport’s promotional literature), which is situated at the south end of the city, just off Highway 6. Taking a cue from other cities such as Dallas/Fort Worth and Seoul, South Korea, in which urban development has flourished around a local airport, Hamilton’s city planners are casting HIA, located in the tiny community of Mount Hope, as a future economic hub and fiscal saviour. Although the aerotropolis is only in the earliest phases of planning, the city’s long–term vision for the airport–centered community includes a wide range of commercial activities, from aerospace and aviation technology industry clusters to tourism and hospitality services. This project would be a massive undertaking, given that currently the most exciting things the HIA has to offer is a Warplane museum, an in–terminal Tim Hortons, and the Airport Inn on Upper James, conveniently located next to a Hooters. For the aerotropolis to come to fruition, approximately 3000 acres of prime agricultural land to the South and West of the HIA would be developed as “employment lands,” in one of the largest urban boundary expansions in Hamilton’s history.

Bread and Aeroplanes

Although the earliest murmurings of an aerotropolis go back nearly 12 years, the city has recently made more serious inquiries about the feasibility of this particular development. In 2002, the city published the Hamilton Airport Gateways Opportunities Study, or HAGOS, which was headed by a Steering Committee comprised of representatives from several municipal departments, as well as The Ontario Ministry of Enterprise, Opportunity and Innovation, and TradePort International Corporation (the private operators of the HIA). The study argues that Hamilton should capitalize on the airport’s success as the largest integrated courier airport in Canada in order to strengthen the city’s role “as a key economic and transportation centre for the Golden Horseshoe.” It also concludes that the development of an aerotropolis should be “the number one strategic priority for economic development in Hamilton.” Incite asked Guy Paparella, who is Hamilton’s Director of Strategic Initiatives and actively involved in the aerotropolis project, to explain why he and others view the aerotropolis as so critical to Hamilton’s development. First, Paparella emphasized that the airport translates to “half a billion dollars worth of infrastructure to take advantage of”—infrastructure including a 10 000 foot runway and no night flying restrictions, meaning the HIA can support air traf-

14 incite

fic for 24 hours a day, seven days a week. Paparella also identified the location of the HIA (nestled between Niagara and Toronto) and the completion of the new Highway 6 with direct access to the airport from Highway 403 as important factors in the envisioned success of the aerotropolis. A May 2005 report prepared in part by Paparella under the umbrella of the city’s Planning and Economic Development department cited many reasons for the aerotropolis’ standing as the primary development strategy for Hamilton. These reasons included the emergence of new air routes, growth in air cargo, courier, and passenger service industries, and greater movement of goods globally thanks to agreements like the North American Free Trade Agreement and the as yet unimplemented Free Trade Agreement of the Americas. Currently the HIA is responsible for about 3 500 jobs; however, the Hamilton Spectator reports the development of an aerotropolis could create as many as 52 000 jobs. According to Paparella, these numbers actually reflect an estimate for job increases in the entire city of Hamilton over the next 30 years, with only about half of them directly spawned by the aerotropolis. Whatever the exact numbers, the bottom line for Paparella and the department of Planning and Economic Development is that an increase in employment prospects in Hamilton will be necessary in order to “create a balanced community, in which opportunities are provided within the community for residents to work.” The aerotropolis is supposed to help achieve this employment surge. Paparella explained that employment needs to be created for an expanding population on the Mountain. He also emphasized that the city needs to put new economic strategies into place to compensate for the precarious state of the steel industry in Hamilton. The city’s May 2005 report states the aerotropolis would help create jobs for a projected population of 700 000 by 2031—an estimate which has since been reduced to approximately 660 000.

Keeping Up with the Pickerings

Hamilton City council passed a motion in late June of 2005 to go ahead with the urban boundary expansion around the airport. The expansion involves re–designating about 3000 acres of farmland as a “special policy area for employment purposes.” One reason for the council’s eagerness is a proposed airport in Pickering, Ontario, which would reduce the economic viability of the aerotropolis. As such, proponents of the aerotropolis, such as Hamilton’s Mayor Larry Di Ianni, would like to plow ahead with its development. On the opposite side of the spectrum, there are those who would instead like to see the brakes put on the aero–plan—including the Ontario Minis-

try of Municipal Affairs, which has appealed the city’s decision to go ahead with urban boundary expansion. Despite the prospect of new jobs, a bustling economy, and beating nearby Pickering to the punch—not to mention a cool futuristic name that conjures up images of Hamiltonians wearing spacesuits and blasting off to work with a jetpack—the aerotropolis has met with vehement opposition from a number of different parties for a number of different reasons. Indeed, some opponents make the road to aerotropolis look more like the highway to hell.

Green Grievances

Many of the concerns people are raising against the aerotropolis are environmental in nature. The proposed aerotropolis would consume 3000 of Hamilton’s 110 000 acres of agricultural land, which rank in the top 0.5 per cent of Canadian farmland in terms of land fertility. Environmentalists protest that usurping this land for development would reduce Hamilton’s supply of locally–grown produce. From an economic perspective, the loss of 3000 acres may represent a significant setback for Hamilton’s $1 billion agriculture industry, as recognized by the City’s December 2006 Economic Development Strategy. Also of concern is environmentally protected land near the allotted 3000 acres, which developers may begin to eye as the airport and surrounding areas grow. Hamiltonians for Progressive Development (HPD) has been one of the biggest critics of the aerotropolis plan. Formed in August 2005 to “articulate and support the implementation of a progressive approach to city planning and development,” they say that the city’s development plan must not be focused purely on economic growth, but also needs to take social and environmental concerns into account. HPD charges that aerotropolis planners have not fully considered future energy concerns. Specifically, the city is accused of ignoring what is known as the “peak oil” issue. Peak oil theory contends that at a certain point (estimates range from two years to two decades), world oil production will “peak” and decline thereafter. The decrease in supply will be exacerbated by a sharp increase in demand, as developing economies such as China and India demand ever increasing amounts of oil. The result will be permanently high prices. In the context of soaring oil costs, staking Hamilton’s economic future on an oil–devouring industry like air transport may be short–sighted. Last summer, the Association of Asia–Pacific Airlines reported that high oil prices were weakening demand for air cargo services. As the least energy–efficient form of cargo transport, air cargo is particularly sensitive to oil prices. If peak oil occurs in the next 10–15 years, the Hamilton aerotropolis could end up transporting a much smaller quantity of material than the city is planning for. City Council’s response to peak oil–related concerns has been less than transparent. Although the city’s original plan did not mention peak oil, city council commissioned a report on the issue in June 2005. Undertaken by the Centre for Sustainable Transportation in Toronto, the report was apparently submitted to the City in November, but city councillors have yet to receive it. Late last month, Councillors Braden and McHattie demanded both that the report be released to City Council and that the City disclose the reasons it was withheld. They were told that city officials were checking the report for inaccuracies and

deficiencies and sending comments back to the authors, after which a second draft of the report would be released. Noting that it is an “outside report,” Braden questioned the need for such close collaboration with city staff. Officials involved in the review process claimed their input was needed to ensure the report tackled Hamilton–specific issues.

Scrap Provincial Plans?

Aero–adversaries are also critical of glaring incongruities between provincial planning legislation focused on curbing urban sprawl and protecting the environment, and the proposed aerotropolis. In particular, opponents such as HPD have become “increasingly concerned” about the “apparent lack of conformity” between the provincially–ratified “Places To Grow” and “Greenbelt” acts and the aerotropolis plan. Ward one councilor Brian McHattie—one of the few city councillors opposed to the aerotropolis—explained in an interview with Incite that although the aerotropolis is not in direct violation of the Greenbelt or Places to Grow acts, it does “go against the spirit of those documents.” In particular, McHattie pointed to the aerotropolis’ emphasis on expansion and “going forever outward,” as being antagonistic to the planning directives promoted by the province that support increased urban density. The primary objective of the Greenbelt act, for example, is “permanently protecting greenspace and containing urban sprawl in the Golden Horseshoe.” Similarly, the Places to Grow Act, passed around the same time as the aerotropolis met with City Council approval, is meant to address the negative effects of unplanned urban sprawl and to encourage population growth in under–populated areas. Through it, the Ontario government can designate regions as “growth planning areas” and make plans for their long– term development. The Minister for Public Infrastructure Renewal, David Caplan, said the Act would seek to build “communities that are less dependent on the car, more respectful of the natural environment and certainly much more enjoyable to live in.” This description hardly fits the energy– and transportation– intensive aerotropolis plan. Supporters counter that development within municipal boundaries is a municipal responsibility and it is up to the city to manage this growth as it sees fit. Although it is a province–wide plan, the Places to Grow initiative was intended to curb growth primarily in the Greater Golden Horseshoe (GGH) region, which includes Hamilton. The GGH plan includes provisions for “employment lands,” spaces designated specifically for business operations, and “greenfield areas,” rural lands set aside for residential and commercial growth by municipal governments. The GGH requires that the greenfield areas be developed with a minimum “jobs and people combined per hectare” density and specific types of housing and city services. The proposed aerotropolis has not been designated as either employment land or greenfield area under the Places to Grow Act, although areas surrounding the airport have previously been zoned for development. This lack of designation means that the aerotropolis plan is technically in line with provincial policy, but misses the spirit of recent provincial directives. Local developers applaud this circumvention of the provincial Places to Grow legislation, saying that the provincial plans are not feasible. Miffed at the province’s one–size–fits–all development planning, they insist Hamilton

incite 15

tween all of these parties in an effort to avoid a hearing, as the OMB is widely viewed as an unpredictable body. It is currently unknown what implications these negotiations will have for the aerotropolis plans, if any. Another concern is that the aero–planners have yet to give any concrete numbers on the cost to the City of servicing the lands around the airport, with estimates being tossed around anywhere between $10 and 100 million. McHattie said that there is currently a study underway: “a Secondary Plan, which will probably bring some of those numbers down to something that’s more exact.” Presumably this study would also meet some of the criteria of the comprehensive review required by the Provincial Policy Statement. Eyebrows have also been raised over the city’s reluctance to consider alternative economic growth opportunities. According to McHattie, the city “had about six growth strategies to begin with; we’re down to three now, and each one of them contains the aerotropolis.” McHattie says that “it was a bit funny that the politicians rammed [the aerotropolis] into each one of the options”—it was “a bit of a slight of hand.” At a planning committee meeting in June of 2005, Guy Paperella did not try to apologize for the aerotropolis’s emphasis, maintaining that “all [six] concepts include the aerotropolis cluster; all of them. We’re not streaming. We’re not scoping. Whichever growth concept council chooses […] will include an aerotropolis cluster.”

A (Brief) Time and (Inaccessible) Place for Public Dissent

has a history of efficient and responsible development. Instead of indiscriminately following the provincial government’s plan, developers want the City to establish a Hamilton–specific approach to development in general and to the aerotropolis in particular.

Vision 2020 and Grappling with GRIDS

Yet the aerotropolis clashes not only with provincial planning strategies, but also with Hamilton’s own economic planning and development documents, particularly, “Vision 2020” and the “Growth Related Integrated Development Strategy” (GRIDS). Vision 2020 is focused on creating a sustainable community which supports “environmental integrity,” together with “social quality and economic prosperity.” Some of the goals of Vision 2020 include ensuring that “sufficient land is available to grow food for future generations,” reducing “the consumption of non–renewable energy,” curbing “urban sprawl and suburban encroachment onto rural and agricultural lands,” and redeveloping “Hamilton’s core as the regional centre.” The aerotropolis is badly discordant with the principles of Vision 2020: it would eat up agricultural land, would require significant consumption of non–renewable energy via aircraft and automobile fuel, and would mean a massive spread of suburbia while the largely ignored downtown core continues to rot away. The aerotropolis fits as well with GRIDS as an elephant would in your five–year–old sister’s backpack. The GRIDS plan, which is meant to “determine where future growth of the city will take place over the next 30 or more years,” is based on nine guiding principles of sustainable development—principles such as concentrating “new development within existing built–up areas and within a firm urban boundary,” and protecting ecological systems and “air, land and water quality.” According to a report by the professional consulting firm Dillon Consulting Limited, the aerotropolis is not compatible with seven of the nine GRIDS principles. In other words, the City is ignoring its own plans in developing the aerotropolis. Councillor McHattie had a number of suggestions which he feels would be more in line with both municipal and provincial planning documents. In particular, he would like to see Hamilton support a more “small scale […] quality of life, style of economic development,” and pointed to the burgeoning art galleries that line James St. North as an example. He also stressed that the city should be “making a real effort […] to redevelop the industrial land […] in the core of the city.” Indeed, many are wondering what will happen to the already degraded core of Hamilton if the aerotropolis becomes a reality.

Putting All Your Aeroplanes in One Hanger?

There are those who suggest that the City has not adequately planned for the aerotropolis and that it might be placing all of its eggs into one basket. In fact, it is for this very reason that the Ontario Ministry of Municipal Affairs has decided to appeal Hamilton’s urban boundary expansion. A Ministry letter deems the expansion decision inconsistent “with the Provincial Policy Statement, 2005, which requires that a comprehensive review be undertaken to support the expansion of a settlement boundary.” Among other things, such a comprehensive review would have to demonstrate that “sufficient opportunities for growth are not available through intensification and redevelopment,” and that “there are no reasonable alternatives which avoid prime agricultural land.” The appeal by the Ministry, along with two others filed by local residents, are slated to go before the Ontario Municipal Board (OMB) sometime early this year. Recently, however, there have been negotiations be-

16 incite

The force and speed with which city administrators are pushing the aerotropolis may explain why opportunities for public input have been somewhat limited. The first public meeting regarding the aerotropolis was held on 7 June 2005 at 9:30 am; the only notice given was a single ad on 13 May in the Hamilton Spectator, which mentioned neither the word “aerotropolis” nor the phrase “urban boundary expansion.” After receiving criticism for this lack of notice, council held a second meeting on 7 June 2005. This time it was held at Marritt Hall in Ancaster, a location inaccessible by public transit. Nearly 400 people showed up for the second meeting, a good majority of whom had come to express opposition to the aerotropolis. Despite palpable public concern, council passed the currently–being–appealed urban boundary expansion a day later. Clearly, the council had already made up its mind, and the public voice got about as much consideration as a nagging parent trying to impose a 10 p.m. curfew on a rebellious teenager—council was going to have its all night aerotropolis party no matter what its mother said. Despite a number of obvious strikes against the aerotropolis plan, including a mounting contingent of angry and vocal aero–opponents, Hamilton is probably going to have an airport–centered community whether it wants one or not. When Incite asked councillor McHattie whether the aerotropolis was inevitable, he contended that “with this current council, I think it is,” especially with “this current mayor [Di Ianni].” He did admit that if there were significant changes to city council come the November 2006 municipal election, it is possible the aerotropolis plan could be scrapped or altered—possible, but not likely. Although the aerotropolis may be an inevitable part of Hamilton’s future, Hamiltonians shouldn’t start lining up for aero–jobs or putting deposits on shiny metallic spacesuits anytime soon. Even if the appeals to the urban boundary expansion are defeated (which they almost certainly will be), it could still be several years before the very earliest development gets underway. Specifically, Paparella estimated that it will take “two, three, four years,” just to service the area surrounding the HIA with roads, sewers, and other necessities, adding that “projects on this scale take time—it takes time to get ideas to germinate.” That being said, Hamiltonians can only hope that if the aerotropolis moves beyond idea to reality, city officials have done the proper planning and put adequate safeguards in place to make sure that it doesn’t crash and burn.

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The minimum wage is going up. If you're an employer, here's what you need to know. General Minimum Wage

Students under 18 and working not more than 28 hours per week or during a school holiday

Liquor Server

Hunting & Fishing Guides: for less than five consecutive hours in a day

Hunting & Fishing Guides: for five or more hours in a day whether or not the hours are consecutive

Homeworkers (people doing paid work in their home for an employer)

Current wage rate

$7.45/hour

$6.95/hour

$6.50/hour

$37.25

$74.50

110% of the minimum wage

Feb.1, 2006 wage rate

$7.75/hour

$7.25/hour

$6.75/hour

$38.75

$77.50

110% of the minimum wage

On February 1, 2006, the general minimum wage will increase to $7.75 per hour from the current rate of $7.45 per hour. Another increase will follow bringing the general minimum wage to $8.00 per hour on February 1, 2007.

To find out more about how the new minimum wage guidelines affect employers and employees, call or visit the Ministry of Labour web site. Paid for by the Government of Ontario

1-800-531-5551

www.labour.gov.on.ca/info/minimumwage incite 17

WANDERINGS

Testing the Waters

Incite’s Jeanette Eby and Zsuzsi Fodor ventured to Hamilton Harbour on a frigid afternoon to learn about the city’s new marine conservation initiatives.

t was a sunny morning when we first set out for Hamilton Harbour, a well–kept secret in the north of the city. Unfortunately, by the time we began our walk north along James Street towards the harbour, a windy afternoon had arrived. The streets were empty as thrashing winds hurried towards the bay, sweeping pedestrians into the shelter of the harbour’s many restaurants and cafés. The only forms of life were a hungry looking stray cat and its canine companion who yowled at us from a doorstep. Toting nothing but a pack of Trident and the keys in our pockets, we were of no use to them. Just moments before collapsing into each other’s arms, exhausted and frostbitten, we caught our first glimpse of Lake Ontario. The water was the sole lively body in the otherwise deserted winter harbour. Only construction workers braved the sub–zero temperatures, building wooden decks in anticipation of warmer weather. The bustling familiarity of Westdale Village, the McMaster campus, and the downtown core felt very far away in this isolated pocket of the city. A lone sign reading “Welcome to Hamilton’s Harbour” marked our entry into a world of shacked yachts, sailboats, and even a tugboat, all swaying in unison with the mighty gusts. Clouds of smoke hovered above the distant steel mills in a real–life scene from Dr. Seuss’ The Lorax—furry, moustachioed creatures not included. The gigantic concrete headquarters of Stelco and Dofasco contrasted with the sparkling water at their feet. Eager for warmth, we turned towards the Canadian Marine Discovery Centre. The centre is located right on the waterfront; if it had been any closer it would have fallen in. Upon entering we were greeted by Brian, a cheerful and helpful Parks Canada employee who was somewhat surprised to have visitors during the quiet season. Brian, whose role at the centre is to educate Hamilton’s population about marine conservation, informed us that the centre is only a year–and–a–half old and was built to engage city folk in caring for their marine environments.

18 incite

Marine conservation is one of three sectors that Parks Canada is responsible for, along with national parks and historic sites. In Brian’s words, Parks Canada is hoping to leave an “imprint” on Hamilton and the inhabitants of 28 other similar marine regions around Canada, only a small percentage of whom will ever experience Canadian National Parks. Brian and others in his field are working to changing the image of Hamilton from a place defined by its steel mills and industrial life to a city recognized as offering more than metal sheets. Given this stated purpose, the irony of the Discovery Centre being downstream from the mills was unmistakable, so we asked Brian about the relationship between the two. He replied, to our surprise, that there weren’t any conflicts between Parks Canada and the factories. He went on to note that the Port Authority has sought to balance the harbour’s industry with its natural environment, most recently with the Discovery Centre itself. Star–struck by our status as writers, Brian waived our admission fees and personally escorted us to the centre’s theatre for a private viewing of the film Water for Life. The documentary featured Canada’s aquatic treasures from the Atlantic, Arctic, Great Lakes, and Pacific. Al- though the film was interesting, we got distracted by a stuffed baby black bear in the corner and proceeded to pose for portraits with it. We spent over an hour touching, prodding, photographing, and observing the games, marine replicas, and sound effects that made up the centre’s child–oriented exhibits. An interactive navigation game took us to Niagara Falls and a life–sized lighthouse made a super–cool fort. The back room featured floor–to– ceiling windows looking out onto the lake and the escarpment. Although the only water in the centre came out of the bathroom taps, the oversized suspended crustaceans and vibrant water–inspired canvases brought Lake Ontario indoors. Adjacent to the paintings

The HMCS Haida If you’re looking for something else to do while visiting the Hamilton Harbour, The Canadian Marine Discovery Centre is only a block away from the National Historic Site where the HMCS (Her Majesty’s Canadian Ship) Haida is moored at Pier 8. The Haida, a Tribal Class Destroyer, served in WWII, the Korean War, and during the Cold War, and is Canada’s most famous battleship, nicknamed the “Fightingest Ship in the Royal Canadian Navy”. The Haida was relocated from Ontario Place in Toronto to Hamilton in 2003 and reopened as a museum. The current Discovery Centre is open year–round, while the Haida is open only during temperate months. The Haida was designated as a National Historic Site in 1984. Source: Parks Canada www.pc.gc.ca

were masterpieces created with the mightiest writing utensil—the crayon. The centre runs programs for children throughout the summer, promoting marine education through visual art, guest presentations, and group activities. Although we were reluctant to leave the exhibits, we were eager to sit down and relax in the Discovery Centre’s “Café by the Bay” before it closed for the day. The café is quaint and welcoming, enclosed by glass doors and windows looking out onto the water. We were greeted by two pleasant baristas and a jovial chef clad in white collared shirts, black aprons, and charming black caps who were preparing for a private event they were catering that evening. We were disappointed when one of them told us that the Café had closed early, but, much to our relief, they could not resist our caffeine–deprived expressions and made an exception, brewing us each a pot of tea from their extravagant selection. The waves approached and retreated at the foot of the window. Sipping our tea, we relaxed and reflected upon our newfound knowledge, as well as on the dessert counter, and pledged to visit this café again. Alas, it had come time to brave the biting cold once more.

Brian had told us about a lovely waterfront trail connecting the Harbour to Mac, however we decided that today was not the day for an eight–kilometre trek. In search of a James Street bus stop, we passed by the Hamilton Harbour police station, complete with uninviting bars on the door. Earlier, we had been inspired to go inside and interrogate the police officers about their harbour policing experiences, but when an officer stormed through the front entrance and slammed the door behind him, we changed our minds and slowly backed away. It may seem somewhat silly to have spent a bitterly cold and dry afternoon learning about water, but it was nonetheless a very worthwhile experience. The walk back down James Street felt shorter as we gradually re–entered a familiar urban setting. The journey to northern Hamilton required determination, but sometimes you have to wander far away from what you know to expand your bubble. Parks Canada is helping to keep urban marine conservation afloat, and its efforts are positively affecting Hamilton’s environment and people. Take the walk down James Street North yourself—tell Brian we sent you.

Star–struck by our status as writers, admission fees were waived and we were personally escorted to the centre’s theatre

PHOTOS BY Z SUZETTE

incite 19

INTERVIEW

PROSECUTING GÉNOCIDAIRES

ncite’s Kerry Scott interviewed James Stewart, a Canadian lawyer currently living and working in Arusha, Tanzania as Senior Appeals Counsel and Head of the Appeals Section in the International Criminal Tribunal for Rwanda (ICTR). Mr. Stewart was called to the Bar of Ontario in 1977, and has since worked for the Ombudsman as a Legal Officer and the Downtown Crown Attorney’s Office as an Assistant Crown Attorney. In 1985, he moved to the Crown Law Office—Criminal, where he has served ever since. He is currently on an unpaid leave of absence from the Crown Law Office. Incite: What is the purpose of the ICTR?

James Stewart: The ICTR is designed to bring to justice those responsible for the Rwandan genocide in 1994 and to contribute to peace and reconciliation in Rwanda. The ICTR was established by the United Nations once the Security Council had determined that genocide and other systematic, widespread, and flagrant violations of international humanitarian law had been committed in Rwanda during the genocide. The seat of the Tribunal is Arusha, Tanzania although the Office of the Prosecutor (OTP) is nominally based in Kigali, Rwanda, where its investigations division is centred. The ICTR shares their appeal judges with the International Criminal Tribunal for the former Yugoslavia (ICTY) in The Hague, Netherlands. The ICTR is authorized to prosecute crimes committed between 1 January and 31 December 1994, within the territory of Rwanda and adjacent territories where crimes were committed by Rwandan citizens. Individual criminal responsibility is based upon a wide variety of modes of participation and attaches as well to superiors, who failed to intervene to prevent or punish the commission of crimes by their subordinates. Heads of state do not enjoy immunity from prosecution.

I: What sort of crimes does the ICTR prosecute?

JS: The ICTR Statute incorporates provisions of international law, which were binding upon the parties at the time of the conflict in Rwanda. Three clusters of offences come within the ICTR’s jurisdiction: Genocide, by various modes; crimes against humanity, such as extermination, murder, rape, and persecution; and serious violations of the protections afforded to non–combatants in situations of armed conflict that are not of an international character (i.e. war crimes committed in an internal armed conflict). The ICTR Statute and Rules require UN member States to assist the Tribunal, which is dependent on this support for the success of its operations. For example, at the request of the ICTR, member States must detain and transfer to ICTR custody accused persons indicted by the ICTR, who are found on their territory. Member States must assist the Prosecutor with respect to investigations. The ICTR has primacy over the crimes within its jurisdiction, but shares competence with national jurisdictions.

I: How does the ICTR operate?

JS: The trial procedure at the ICTR is essentially adversarial in nature, with elements drawn from inquisitorial legal systems. The Prosecutor bears the burden of proof beyond a reasonable doubt. The presentation of evidence is party–driven, with the right of cross–examination of witnesses enjoyed by the party opposite. The accused has the right to re-

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main silent and cannot be compelled to testify. The Trial Chamber can call evidence on its own motion, and the Judges have a significant role in shaping the cases and in asking questions of witnesses. Any evidence that the Trial Chamber deems to be relevant and probative, including hearsay evidence, is admissible. The procedural regime is, in effect, a blended one, combining features of the world’s major legal systems. Verdicts are by majority decision of the Trial Chamber. The maximum sentence provided for is imprisonment for the remainder of the convicted person’s life.

I: How long have you worked at the ICTR? Have you done other work for the United Nations? JS: I have been with the ICTR on this tour since February 2004. I worked as a Senior Trial Attorney, however, with the ICTR in 1997–1998, leading a trial team that prosecuted the first cases heard by the Tribunal Trial Chambers. From 1999 to 2001, I served as Chief of Prosecutions at ICTY in The Hague, Netherlands.

“The government of Rwanda has faced an almost insurmountable challenge, with over 100 000 accused génocidaires in its prisons” I: What is your role in the ICTR?

JS: As Senior Appeals Counsel, I am Head of the Appeals Section in the OTP. I have responsibility as both an advocate and a senior manager. Our section handles all post judgment appeals on behalf of the Prosecutor. We are also increasingly involved in handling interlocutory appeals, given the significance of certain points of law that arise in them. We provide advice to the Prosecutor and to the trial teams on many matters, and are principally responsible for delivering in–house continuing legal education.

I: How did you come to work for the ICTR?

JS: Through sheer good luck! I was originally recruited through the auspices of Louise Arbour, who was the Prosecutor for both ICTY and ICTR

at the time. (She is now UN High Commissioner for Human Rights, and was formerly a member of the Supreme Court of Canada.) I knew her from my experience pleading cases before her, when she was sitting as a member of the Court of Appeal for Ontario. I believe my chief asset was bilingualism—French and English are the working languages of both Tribunals, and French is particularly important at ICTR.

I: What has most hindered the proceedings of the ICTR?

JS: In the early days (1997–1998), the lack of resources and the slowness of the UN bureaucratic processes were often frustrating. The situation has improved immeasurably. In 2004, a hiring freeze at ICTR, engendered by the failure of certain UN member States to pay their dues in support of the Tribunal impaired our ability to bring the Appeals Section up to its full complement of staff, and put us under a great deal of stress. Fortunately, this situation got resolved, and our section is at full strength and able to handle its current workload efficiently and well.

I: Who, specifically, does the ICTR target?

JS: The ICTR, like the ICTY, targets the top political, military, police, and community leaders believed to be responsible for organizing and directing the genocide and other crimes. These individuals are often beyond the reach of Rwanda. The Interahamwe, which played so significant a role in the killings, is not the sole organization responsible, of course, but its leaders are a focus of investigation and prosecution. The vast population of those who became involved in the killings, through the active policy of the government to push the population into the genocide, is not the focus of the ICTR, but of the Rwandan judicial machinery. The UN assists Rwanda in this, but the government of Rwanda has faced an almost insurmountable challenge, with over 100 000 accused génocidaires in its prisons, and has had to try to find imaginative solutions, involving the adaptation of traditional judicial processes, such as gacaca [a customary Rwandan system of community hearings, used to resolve local disputes], to deal with the problem. While exactions that amount to crimes with the ICTR’s jurisdiction, committed by members of the RPF, would be susceptible to prosecution, no cases involving RPF military or political personnel have, as yet, been brought before the Tribunal.

I: How just and effective do you feel the ICTR is?

JS: The Tribunal has evolved into a fair and efficient institution for delivering justice. It will always be subject to criticism, by those who have their own political agenda, and, in fairness, by those who see

it as falling short in the realization of certain principles of international justice. However, I feel that the ICTR has made an extraordinary effort to fulfill the expectations of the international community and Rwandans, by delivering justice that has integrity. Rwandans have mixed reactions, in my experience—some admire the work of the ICTR, and see it as crucial in bringing to justice individuals who inflicted such anguish on Rwanda; others despise it, as too little, too late—a sop to the conscience of the “international community” that failed so egregiously to intervene to prevent the genocide. Some fear it. How far will its processes serve to deter serious violations of human rights now or in the future? This is hard to say, and the conflicts in Africa and elsewhere, involving brutal violations of international humanitarian law, might be seen as discouraging. However, one must begin somewhere, and the work of the ICTR and of the ICTY has pushed respect for international humanitarian law into the forefront in international affairs. Dictators must now look over their shoulders in a way that they would never have imagined in the past.

Kenya, Rwanda, Burundi), and working together co–operatively, to achieve common goals, is stimulating and exciting. ICTY handled our appeals until September 2003, when the UN Security Council appointed a separate Prosecutor, Hassan Bubacar Jallow, for the ICTR. It has been my task to build up a new Appeals Section at ICTR from scratch, and to help it become a confident, competent body, which does first class work. This has been one of the most interesting and rewarding challenges of my professional life. On a personal note, I live with my family in a stunningly beautiful part of the world. Tanzania, where we are based, is a fascinating country. Living abroad is enriching for us, and makes us appreciate our own country, Canada, even more. (My wife is Kenyan, and so East Africa is home for her,

but Canada is her adoptive country.) In addition, this work has allowed me to make new friendships, which will last, I believe, all my life.

I: As a lawyer, how is working in Arusha different from working in Canada?

JS: The setting is utterly different. We apply a different criminal law. Our procedure is a blend of adversarial and inquisitorial procedures, so that, although it resembles what we know in Canada, it has significant differences. Notwithstanding the differences, the skill and experience one gains in Canada are easily transferable to the ICTR context. Much of the approach we take to appeals derives from my experience at the Crown Law Office—Criminal, and this has worked well.

I: What do you feel has been the biggest victory for the ICTR?

JS: The biggest victory has been to prevent the escape from justice of individuals responsible for one of the worst crimes against humanity of the 20th century. It has also been to break the cycle of impunity that encourages such brutality. The ICTR has also contributed to a rich legacy of jurisprudence for international criminal law. The decision in Akayesu, for example, was the first decision of an international criminal court to interpret the Genocide Convention of 1948.

I: Do you feel that the effort to bring justice to Rwandan Tutsi and moderate Hutu has been impaired by unco–operative governments?

JS: In the early days, some fugitives undoubtedly benefited from protection by governments, but this situation has changed. Co–operation is excellent. The relationship between the ICTR and the government of Rwanda has in the past been strained on occasion, and this may have negatively affected ICTR operations in the country briefly. Co–operation now, however, is excellent.

I: How does the work of the ICTR contribute to Rwanda’s future development?

JS: The declared objective is for the ICTR to contribute to peace and reconciliation in Rwanda, in the aftermath of what occurred in 1994. The influence of the ICTR will have many, more subtle, effects, however; for example, through the training of young Rwandan lawyers, who work with us, and through other personal relationships that are formed.

I: Where do the convicted serve their sentences? Has it been difficult finding places to jail these criminals?

I: How many people have been tried in the ICTR? How many have been convicted?

JS: The ICTR President is responsible for negotiating agreements with UN member States for the reception of convicted persons to serve their sentences. I do not have all of the details, but certain African countries, such as Mali, and European countries, such as Norway, Italy, and Spain, have agreed to take convicted persons to serve their sentences.

JS: So far, 26 individuals have been tried and 43 more are now in trial or are awaiting trial. Of the 26 individuals who have been tried, all but three were convicted—and four of the convictions were based on guilty pleas. There are also 9 accused whose indictment by the ICTR has been made public but are still at large.

I: What is the most difficult part of your job?

JS: The hardest part of the job is—sometimes—just getting things done: getting the necessary administrative support and obtaining needed resources, to accomplish our work. But, with the strong support of certain key officials, such as the Registrar, we succeed. There is also a darker side to our work. We have encountered concerted efforts to undermine, during the appeal phase, gains made in trials, through the corruption or intimidation of witnesses, and we have to be alert to this danger all of the time. (I note that these situations have not yet reached the stage of proof, but my comments are based on reasonable grounds to believe.)

I: What is the future for the ICTR?

I: What do you most enjoy about your job?

I: What is next for you when the Tribunal wraps up?

JS: The work we do, as awful as the crime base is, is fascinating and deeply rewarding. For a prosecutor, there could be no work more interesting. We feel that we are at the cutting edge of international criminal law. The members of my section come from different countries, legal systems, and backgrounds (e.g., Canada, South Africa, Australia, Uganda, Belgium,

JS: The ICTR is an ad hoc tribunal, which will wind up. Investigations, apart from trial and appeal support work, have been completed. Trials should be finished by 2008. Appeals should be done by 2010. Like ICTY, the ICTR will then close its doors. The International Criminal Court (ICC), in The Hague, will remain as a permanent institution, to deal with any new situations that arise. As noted, the ICTR will leave a legacy of jurisprudence for international law. Many of its personnel, who have developed unique skills, will serve the cause of international criminal justice in other fora.

IAN

S IN

JS: I will return to my work in Canada, likely in 2007. My post at the Crown Law Office—Criminal is being held for me. I love my work there, and life in a cosmopolitan city like Toronto. So, our family will make a new life at home in Canada. I will always retain my interest in international criminal law, however, and will find ways to remain involved in it in various capacities in future.

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The 1994 Genocide in Rwanda (From the notes of James Stewart)

In 1994, 800 000 people were killed in the space of four months in Rwanda. The tragedy involved an ethnic conflict that was manipulated for political and military purposes by members of an elite anxious to retain power. It was not inevitable. Rwanda is a relatively old state, dating back, as a monarchy, to the early 17th century. It underwent a period of expansion in the 19th century, but its political evolution was interrupted by the intrusion of European imperialism. The Germans were the first European governors. They employed a system of indirect rule, based on the existing political and administrative structure of the Rwandan state. The Germans were succeeded, at the end of the First World War, by the Belgians, who instituted extensive administrative reforms to facilitate their rule, including the introduction of a pass system that contained mention of the bearer’s ethnic identity. Rwandans speak one language, Kinyarwanda, they share common customs and religious traditions, and lineages and clans cut across ethnic lines. Ethnic divisions, which existed in pre–colonial times, were significantly exacerbated by the Belgian administration, which, for most of the colonial period, favoured the minority Tutsi over the majority Hutu. At the end of the colonial period, between 1959–1962, the Hutu succeeded in unseating the king and his nobles and in imposing majority Hutu rule in the country. Many Tutsi fled the violence of this time, which saw the birth of the Tutsi Diaspora. Sporadic incursions by Tutsi supporters of the old regime in the mid 1960s resulted in reprisals against the Tutsi population in Rwanda, which added to the Diaspora. In 1975, a coup led by Juvénal Habyarimana, an army officer, overthrew the government of the President of the First Republic, Grégoire Kayibanda, who subsequently died in miserable circumstances in prison. A period of relative prosperity followed with the establishment of the Second Republic, as prices for coffee and tea, Rwanda’s principal exports, remained high and development aid money poured into the country. Habyarimana instituted a one–party state on the Chinese model. At this time, Rwanda was a highly regulated state and developed a decent infrastructure of roads and services. The Tutsi minority, which had suffered occasional persecution (particularly in 1973, before the coup), lived in relative tranquility under the new regime, but were subjected to a quota system for government jobs and schools, and were excluded from the army. In the late 1980s the Rwandan economy began to suffer, as prices for coffee and tea fell. Rwandans were also growing more and more dissatisfied with the corruption and nepotism of the regime. Habyarimana and his powerfully connected wife were from the northwest. Many of their opponents were from the centre and south. These political and geographic tensions affected the majority Hutu principally. At the beginning of the 1990s, under extreme pressure from France and other donor countries, the government began a process of democratisation. Opposition parties were permitted to exist. A political struggle began, as political elites vied for control of the country’s limited resources. In the meantime, members of the Tutsi Diaspora, joined by some disaffected Hutu, had formed the Rwandan Patriotic Front (RPF), which, in 1990, resorted to armed struggle to force a regime change that would allow the return of refugees to Rwanda. The conflict between the government and the RPF during the early 1990s polarized Rwanda, splitting opposition parties into pro–government and pro–RPF factions, and spawning an extremist political discourse driven by ethnic hatred. RTLM, the radio famous for its hate broadcasts directed against the RPF and the Tutsi, both before and during the genocide, came into being in this period. The Arusha Accords, concluded in 1993, and the United Nations Mission in Rwanda (UNAMIR) were designed to ensure a settlement of the

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armed conflict and a transition to democratic political institutions and government. UNAMIR was under the command of Canadian Lieutenant General Roméo Dallaire. As part of the settlement, an RPF battalion was installed in the parliament building (known as the CND) in the capital of Kigali, and Kigali itself was declared a no–weapons area. The transition was never fully accomplished and the peace process encountered great difficulty. UNAMIR received disturbing intelligence about preparations for the massacre of Tutsi in the capital city. Political tensions and infighting, punctuated by violence and assassination, created grave challenges for the UN mission and for the country. On the evening of 6 April 1994, President Habyarimana’s plane was brought down by two missiles, fired by persons as yet unknown, as it approached Kigali, killing him and all on board, and plunging the country into crisis. Within hours of the President’s death, roadblocks had gone up around the capital, and the Presidential Guard and other extremist elements had begun to eliminate moderate Hutu opposition politicians and officials. The President of the Constitutional Court was murdered. The Prime Minister, Agathe Uwilingiyimana, was brutally executed, before she could get on radio to urge calm. Her Belgian UN escort was disarmed and its ten members killed. (This ultimately resulted in Belgium’s withdrawal of her troops from UNAMIR, which crippled the mission.) The RPF moved out of the CND to engage the government forces, and the battle of Kigali began. An extremist, Hutu–based government assumed control of the country. Over the period April to July 1994, the armed conflict, which the RPF eventually won, raged. The killing, which had initially targeted moderate Hutu opposition personalities, quickly spread to target the Tutsi. Over half a million Tutsi men, women, and children were killed throughout the country in this period, decimating the Tutsi ethnic group in Rwanda. The killers used grenades and firearms, but also, in the main, traditional weapons—machetes, clubs, knives, and spears—wielded at close quarters. It was a “low tech, high intensity” onslaught of unparalleled ferocity, one of the worst crimes against humanity of the 20th century. The genocide was organized by the government and driven by local administrative, military, and police officials, with its spearhead being the feared militias, known as Interahamwe. While not going so far as to commit genocide, members of the RPF are alleged to have carried out exactions against the Hutu civilian population, both during and in the aftermath of the conflict and their seizure of power.

COLUMN

POP WITH ROB LEDERER

shot the puck into the corner and rushed towards the net. As a nine–year–old member of the underdog Rink Rats, my team was gunning for a spot in Saturday’s championship house league hockey game. We were in the sudden death overtime period of a highly contested semifinal match. I stood barely balanced on two thin blades before the opposition’s goalie. As unexpected as an Oscar–worthy Olsen performance, I felt my stick cushion the puck to a stop. Remembering my scholarly studies of Screech Owls: The Night They Stole the Stanley Cup, I stayed focused and shot for the top left corner. The puck glided between the goaltender’s legs for the first, most important, and last goal of my hockey career. It was my fourth season in the league.

They want to be Chandler and Monica. They want to have what Carrie and Big have. And, thanks to endless evenings in front of the tube, I have learned how to give my dating audience what they desire.

In life, just as in hockey, I have always been a late bloomer. Taking my first step towards sports superstardom only after many endless seasons was not a new experience. For me, late–in–the–game success is a lot like Adam Brody’s Jew–fro—I can’t imagine life any other way.

So, with Ross and Rachel playing Mr. Miyagi to my Courting Kid I was taught the dos and don’ts of dating. By observing TV couples, I learned the rules of wooing and the appropriate ways of acting in a variety of real–life relationship scenarios. Since television is the realm of ideal relationships, it’s the perfect model for romance learning and discovery. Forget candlelit dinners, evening strolls on the beach, or any of that other practical stuff— learning from the pros is where it’s at.

Luckily, TV and film have provided me with more above–and–beyond romantic material than there were teenaged Spice Girls fans in the late 90s. Did you have a huge crush on the popular girl back in high school? Show up at her office dressed in medieval knight–in–shining–armour gear and romance her with dorky witticisms. Crushing on the dark rebellious type? Sing her a classic love song over the loudspeaker during gym class. Seriously, for every sticky relationship situation, pop culture can provide a solution.

Classically trained Casanovas may be charming, but when it comes to modern relationships, pop culture dating knowledge seems more vital than, well, actual dating knowledge. Let’s take the marriage proposal. Sure, regular Joes know the down–on–one– knee business. What they don’t realize is that the actual proposal is but the dry, month–old chocolate cake to the whole, cream–filled ding dong.

Direction for mundane, everyday decisions can also be found on the TV. I should, for instance, contact my significant other before sailing up the coast for the summer—we saw what happened when Seth Cohen failed to. I should not, however, reveal jealously towards his or her relationship with a co–worker—it’s probably just a friendship thing, Ross!

If Will & Grace has taught me anything, it’s that badly approached proposals can end things faster than Herbie: Fully Loaded speeding down the Autobahn. Nathan’s unplanned query to Grace went awry, forcing the couple to re–evaluate their entire relationship, and similar troubles await the un–pop–savvy.

I guess this begs the question of why I have remained a near–untapped romantic resource. The only explanation I can provide is this: I am a late bloomer waiting for a grand public profession of love to steal my pop–dependant heart forever. I couldn’t dream of it being any other way.

Playing tortoise to everyone else’s hare has, at times, proved trying. In grade four, I was reading at a dismal Fantastic Mr. Fox level; although my literacy skills had improved by the age of 17, my “awkward stage” pressed on, complete with braces, headgear, and pimples. Slowly and steadily, I outgrew those tough times. My dating life, however, has continually lagged behind more than Carrie Bradshaw at the Bata Shoe Museum. And I think that is especially unfortunate, because I am better prepared for a relationship than almost anyone I know. Now, I’m not implying that I rival Joey Tribbiani’s super smooth studliness or embody the sexy cunning of any James Bond. Rather, it is my must– see–TV past that has readied me for the consummate modern relationship. People aren’t looking for an actual partnership (whatever that is). They want sit–com style, witty, bantering beloveds.

Love

Looking back at my childhood may seem a little sad. Recognizing that I was the awkward “pygmy nerd” inevitably written into every childhood dramedy was hard at first. That is, until I realized that being a child TV addict instilled in me a special power more awesome than any Harry Potter wand work. What I earned through my extensive viewing is sort of like working for the love police; whenever there’s relationship trouble, I can always count on my television–inspired know–how for backup.

The

The proposals people dream of don’t consist of a rehearsed monologue and a few tears. Oh no, they require last minute rundowns at the airport or, if your loved one has already boarded, at least a personalized and self–penned singsong, Billy Idol cameo included. Everybody recognizes the romance in these scenarios, though only the well–trained realize that they are the scenes that real people want to be a part of. We want our relationships to be as cosmic and meant–to–be as Seth and Summer’s because, according to our favourite TV shows, that’s what “the one” is supposed to be like. Grand acts are a measure of our “made for each other” quotient.

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What If...

G RAPHIC BY BORAM HAM

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there was a giant slide down the mountain?