emPOWER magazine Autumn by Indigo Productions Pty Limited

AUTUMN 2013 $9.95 (incl GST)

Is your business

SALE ready Get it RIGHT from the start

Killer

marketing strategy

You can sell anything

Change

Management

Dealing with fear in uncertain times

Bullying

at work

Know your obligations

Marta Dusseldorp Finding a place

to call home

• Handling conflict with the six core needs • The science of a happy relationship • Money: How much is enough? www.empowermagazine.com.au

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AUTUMN 2013 $9.95 (incl GST)

Is your business

SALE READY GET IT RIGHT FROM THE START

Killer

marketing strategy

YOU CAN SELL ANYTHING

Change

Management

DEALING WITH FEAR IN UNCERTAIN TIMES

Marta Dusseldorp Finding a place

to call home

Bullying

at work

KNOW YOUR OBLIGATIONS

www.yourwebsite.com www.yourwebsite.com

• Handling conflict with the six core needs • The science of a happy relationship • Money: How much is enough? www.empowermagazine.com.au www.empowermagazine.com.au • Money: How much is enough? • The science of a happy relationship • Handling conflict with the six core needs

YOown UR OBLIGATIONS There’s no doubt that havingKNOW your magazine at work adds an enormous amount Bullying of credibility to both you and your brand. Big companies produce professional publications for this very reason.

branding strategy. Publishing costs for each issue can run into tens of thousands of dollars, much more than most businesses can afford. Finding a place UNCERTAIN TIMES ThaT’s all abouT To change DEALING WITH FEAR IN Management For most business however, the time, resources Now you can leverage the high quality content Change and cost involved in publishing a professional of emPOWER magazine and present it as your magazine prohibits the use of this powerful own, co-branded with your logo and website.

to call home

Dusseldorp

Marta

strategy marketing “Having our own private label magazine has provided us with a unique and YOU CAN SELL ANYTHING

Killer memorable promotional tool. We use it as a gift for prospective clients at events and, as a bonus, I secured distribution of our magazine in Virgin lounges across Australia FROM THE START which has been fantastic exposure for our brand.” GET IT RIGHT FABE KEILY, What Working Women Want SALE READY Is your business

Curious?

AUTUMN 2013 $9.95 (incl GST)

Call Gidon on 0402 822 722 or email gidon@indigoproductions.com.au to find out how you can apply this powerful marketing strategy too! PROUDLY BROUGHT TO YOU BY...

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Contents 14 Cover story

Finding a place to call home

Marta Dusseldorp has had an acting career that most would aspire to and yet happily admits she’s stayed ‘under the radar’. Until now! She talks with Helen Rosing during filming of her latest acting adventure, A Place to Call Home coming soon to Channel Seven.

28 Business in profile Mind to Business

Renna Danelutti’s innovative aromatic candles melt to transform into soothing lotions and massage oils. She talks to Helen Rosing about how her hobby has transformed into a burgeoning business.

BUSINESS

Build to sell

5.5 ways to boost your profit

Find joy in your business

Mobile marketing

Do you want to sell your business at the highest possible value? We explain the ten steps to becoming ‘sale ready’. Want to increase your market share? Learn to effectively market to your customers and convert them into the sales you want. Feeling weighed down, tired and unmotivated in your business? Learn to ask the right questions to bring back the joy. SMS marketing should be a part of any marketing plan. We show you why and share the four different message types that are most effective.

CAREER

Discover why mobile marketing is so important

Flourishing in turbulent times

All things being equal

Bullying in the workplace

Six core needs

Learn how to implement The Four Rooms of change, to encourage confidence and reduce resistance in uncertain times. Helen Conway, Director of the Workplace Gender Equality Agency shares her thoughts on the state of gender equality and what to do about it. Workplace bullying is a costly hazard. Here we tell you exactly what it is and how to handle it in the workplace. By understanding yourself better you’ll gain greater insight into others. Find out how this can benefit you professionally.

YOU 38

Change your mindset, change your life

While change can be challenging, the biggest obstacle is simply not knowing how to change. We show you how.

What needs to change to achieve gender equality?

Listen to your inner voice

Be brave – be vulnerable!

Saying ‘Yes’ when you want to say ‘No’, can lead to health issues in your body. Find out how to use your intuition to say what you really mean. Vulnerability requires great courage, however the benefits far outweigh the discomfort. Become aware of vulnerability in your life and embrace it.

Contents LIFE 44

In memory of Ryan

Stop parenting – start coaching!

The science of a happy relationship

Lenore Miller’s son died aged just 19 after an asthma attack. She shares her painful story to raise awareness of the life-threatening condition.

Learn to empower your children to find their own answers and raise healthy self-aware children.

Can science help you improve your relationship

We outline the science-based strategies to resolve any relationship problem and build a more satisfying and happy marriage.

WELLBEING 50

What’s your diet personality?

Midlife madness

Get to the core

There may be a very good reason why you’re unable to win the battle of the bulge. Find out the foods to eat and avoid to lose weight.

Feeling a little out of control as the ‘change’ approaches. We show you how, with a little support, you can turn peri-menopause into a positive experience. There’s no need to shell out on expensive chiropractors. Find out how to increase your core strength and prevent back pain.

The battle of the bulge is in your brain.

FINANCE 56

How much is enough

The share market journey

The property clock

Discovering your ‘doctorine of enough’ is essential to planning ahead for your future. Find out how.

Knowing how the stock market cycles can ensure you react in your own best interests. We tell you how the market cycle works. Understand property cycles and determine the best time to enter into any property market.

The right time to shop for property

REGULARS 6 From the desk… 8 Meet the Experts 10 Your Say

66 15 Minutes 61 COACHING TOOLKIT

13 Acts of Kindness 49 Check it out 53 Great Reads

BE YOUR

BEST

JOIN THE CHALLENGE A new challenge every week to improve your life.

FREE

Be held accountable to get better results in 2013. Access to an exclusive forum for Challenge members. Connect in a community of like-minded people. Weekly support by coaches.

Claire Braund and Ruth Medd, Directors of Women on Boards in Australia.

Program, details and registration www.womenonboards.org.au Enquiries & Contact contact@womenonboards.org.au | or call 02 4362 1333

From the desk... “emPOWER is the vehicle for women to achieve more in their professional and personal lives.”

For the cover this issue I was lucky enough to interview Marta Dusseldorp. Now, if you are like me, you may not have been familiar with Marta before picking up emPOWER, but stay tuned, she’s the star of Channel Seven’s latest drama (from the makers of Packed to the Rafters), A Place to Call Home, coming soon. One of the things that Marta said to me during our chat (which I am still pondering) was that she is grateful because the rewards from acting have come to her very slowly. Although she has had a lot of success Marta has purposely stayed ‘under the radar’. She said it allowed her to “learn and read and watch and fail; not necessarily in front of a million people.” I find that really interesting and very comforting. I often feel this intense pressure to have achieved certain results and to be at a certain level, and of course, to have done it all with ease and grace in the shortest possible timeframe. While I know I do this to myself, I feel it is also fueled by a society of women trying to keep up with their male counterparts (while also raising a family) and also by women needing to feel more successful than their female colleagues. We’re all guilty of it. How refreshing then to be reminded that we can run our own race, that we don’t have to be in the spotlight in order to be successful and we can allow ourselves to let the rewards to come slowly without dooming ourselves to failure. This is actually a great message for our next move in emPOWER. Over the coming months, and after 23 issues of the magazine, we’ll be giving the magazine content a complete overhaul. We are narrowing our focus to the goal we are most passionate about – to provide smart, practical information and guidance assisting women in small/medium business to improve themselves and grow their businesses. Stay tuned…

Subscribe to emPOWER Subscribe for you or a friend this issue and receive a gorgeous gift pack from The Happi Empire. It’s valued at $44.90 and is sure to make you a happy citizen. Turn to page 55 to find out more.

Helen Rosing, Publisher

Join us on Facebook at www.facebook.com/emPOWERMag

Publisher & Editor Helen Rosing helen@indigoproductions.com.au Editorial Assistant Alissa Beck ally@indigoproductions.com.au Sub Editor Katharine Davies

Graphic Design Design Box www.designboxweb.com

Production & Subscriptions: admin@empoweronline.com.au P: (02) 9629 7685

Cover Photography Photography courtesy of Channel Seven

Sales enquiries: Business Development Manager Gidon Rosing gidon@indigoproductions.com.au M: 0402 822 722

Contributors John Aitken, Ben Angel, Phil Anderson, Dorota Bryks, Marilee Adams, Mike Cook, Helen Conway, Dale Gilham, Natalie Green, Chris Henderson, Terry Hawkins, Neil Jenman, Simone Milasas, Debbie Pask, Amanda Preece, Narelle Stegehuis, Dr Annie Wyatt

Account Manager Liza Hodgson liza@indigoproductions.com.au Marketing Manager Dev Singh dev@sketchpadideas.com

unfair practices and the penalties for breach of provisions of those Acts. The publisher accepts no responsibility for such breaches. Opinions expressed by contributors are their own and not necessarily endorsed by emPOWER Magazine or the publishers. All material in emPOWER magazine is copyright and may not be produced Advertisers and contributors to in whole or in part without express emPOWER Magazine acknowledge permission of the publishers. ISSN they are aware of the provisions of 1835-8705 the Anti-Discrimination Act 1977 and the Trade Practices Act 1974 in relation to false and misleading advertising or statements under other Published by Indigo Productions Pty Limited ABN: 90 135 381 118 PO Box 280 Kellyville, NSW, 2155 P: (02) 9629 7685 E: admin@empowermagazine.com.au www.empoweronline.com.au

inspiration to achieve

meet the experts Special thanks to our expert contributors. Dr Natalie Green is a Clinical Psychologist, Mindset Strategist and certified Money Breakthrough Coach who is on a mission to free women from their old money junk and empower them to be successful women in their own right. She is the author of Tap Into Your Inner Power for Weight Loss and 21 Days to Permanent Weight Loss. She is also a highly regarded speaker.

Dorota (Dee) Bryks is an experienced

John Aiken is a trained clinical

Ben Angel is an author, business and

Phil Anderson is known as the Lunch

Marilee Adams PhD is an executive

Wealth Within chief analyst Dale Gilham is a bestselling author, keynote speaker and one of Australia’s leading investment advisors. He wrote the bestselling book How to Beat the Managed Funds by 20%. He launched Australia’s first and only nationally recognised, government accredited Diploma of Share Trading and Investment course, providing students with a governmentrecognised accreditation at Diploma level.

Mike Cook is an OD consultant who

commercial lawyer and an Associate with Coleman Greig Lawyers. She has particular expertise in the preparation of contracts and assisting clients with the sale and purchase of businesses across a wide range of industries. Dee is recognised for her professional,commercially-focused approach and strong communication skills, keeping clients informed and updated at every step.

psychologist and has worked on TV, radio and for lifestyle magazines. His two previous books are U-Turn: Putting You Back Into Your Relationship and Accidentally Single. He is the resident psychologist on RSVP.

lifestyle columnist and Australia’s leading personal branding specialist with over 30,000 online followers. He grooms entrepreneurs, companies and authors in how to become more seductive to their target market and to the media. He is the author of Sleeping Your Way to The Top in Business.

Money Property Millionaire because he grew a multi-million dollar property portfolio using the equivalent of his “lunch money,” retiring in his 30’s, even though he only ever earned an average income. Phil is an in-demand speaker teaching thousands of Australians how to acquire property for as little as $1 deposit and turn 1 property into 3 within the first 5 years.

Autumn 2013

coach, corporate consultant, professional speaker and president of the Inquiry Institute. She has been using Question Thinking to lead individuals and organisations to greater success for more than 25 years. Her bestselling book, Change Your Questions, Change Your Life is a story about an executive coach who helps people transform their lives with Question Thinking.

designs and develops learning interventions for people and organizations in the area of leadership development, team effectiveness and, organizational change. It was while seeking a simple but powerful organizational diagnostic tool that Mike came across and fell in love with the Four Rooms of Change theory. And the rest – as they say – is history.

As Director of the Workplace Gender Equality Agency, Helen Conway is responsible for ensuring the Agency promotes and improves gender equality and outcomes for both women and men in the workplace. Helen has a strong track record in promoting equal opportunity, with a particular focus on initiatives supporting women. She spent 10 years on the NSW Equal Opportunity Tribunal, including three years as its Senior Judicial Member.

Terry Hawkins (CSP) is an award

Neil Jenman has spent his working life in the real estate industry, where he has been a strong campaigner for ethics and the rights of consumers. In 2005 he sold his real estate agency and began teaching his system – which became known as The Jenman System – to agents. He has written two bestselling books, and has just published his fourth book Success Takes Character, a hybrid memoir and business book.

After an extensive career in private recruitment, employment services and education spanning more than 20 years, Chris Henderson was looking for a challenge and embarked on a new venture. The result was SMS Marketing Solutions Australia, established to assist Australian businesses grow their bottom line and better engage with their new and existing customers in this digital and mobile world.

Australia’s Simone Milasas is a dynamic business leader with a difference. She relishes in the expansion and generation of enterprises big and small and has been instrumental in leading groups of all sizes through the evolution of a project. From the genesis of an idea through to implementation, maintenance, and overcoming of obstacles Simone manages to find the ease, joy and glory of it all.

With a background in Advertising at board level, a degree in philosophy and 10 years training in energy healing work, Debbie Pask is an example of how the rational and intuitive can come together to create a stronger approach to business and life. Debbie’s core passion is to help people discover and unlock their own ‘life purpose’ (blueprint of their soul) and then go about planning and designing their utopian career or business around that.

Narelle Stegehuis, is a practicing

Amanda Preece is an experienced personal trainer and yoga teacher. After losing 20 kilos on her own, she now specialises in helping women overcome emotional eating. Recently, Amanda worked with the radio station 612 ABC Brisbane, when it participated in a weight-loss challenge, and led her team to victory.

Dr Annie Wyatt is an accomplished

Vanessa Westwell is an experienced UK Life Coach. She has a Psychology degree is a Professionally trained Life Coach and a wealth of experience in personal development and training. Her new book Travelling Light - how to live lightly in your mind, body, heart and soul is full of great ideas on how to change your life for the better.

winning speaker, award winning entrepreneur, best selling author and founder/owner (1989) of People In Progress Global, an industry leader in enterprise training resources with offices in Australia and now the USA. Terry’s dynamic, transformational presentation style and her powerful, action based messages have made her the most in demand speaker throughout Australia and now the USA!

medical herbalist and naturopath specialising in restorative endocrinology for women, with over 14 years clinical experience. She is both an accomplished writer, editor and technical training advisor for the complementary Health Care Council. A recipient of the Australian Naturopathic Excellence Award, Narelle adopts an integrated approach of both medical science and traditional complementary health care principles.

speaker, teacher and published author. As a public speaking and personal development coach, Annie loves to see her clients swap their fear of public speaking for confidence, excitement, enthusiasm and professionalism. Her background is in adult education and psychological wellbeing at work. She is a certified NLP trainer and uses acceptance and commitment processes in her work.

www.empowermagazine.com.au

YourSay We’d love to hear from you. Submit ‘Your Say’ by emailing admin@empowermagazine.com.au

favourite letter

Your article on Perfect Presentations (Summer 2013) was so timely for me. I had a presentation coming up at work that I had been quite worried about – I was to speak in front of the top executives in my organisation about some research I had undertaken. When I read the point on building rapport and remembering that it’s not about me, it’s about the audience, I felt immediately at ease. It made me stop thinking about my own concern of looking stupid and focus on giving the audience as much useful information as I could. Thank you for getting me through what could have been a stressful hour. - Jane S

I’ve been reading your magazine for a couple of years now and as usual this issue (Sum mer 2013) did not disappoint. I particularly resonated with the article Are you righ t or happy? It challenged me to realise that, more times than not, I like being right and feel I have to prove my point in an argumen t. I love the concept of being a “rock in a strea m where the water just meanders all arou nd the rock, without a point of view”. This is a great lesson for me, and one I’m going to keep in my consciousnes s. - Samantha

I’ve been a fan of yours on Facebook, I think since you began and I wanted to say congratulations and thank you for introducing The Be Your Best Self Challenge. It’s the first time I’ve seen a business actually do something proactive and useful that really adds value to fans. I’ve limited the number of pages I‘m a fan of because mostly I just feel sold to. I’m doing the challenge and already it’s been eye-opening for me. Thanks for being different. - Petrina

I recently received a copy of emPOWER at a networking luncheon and was keen to get home to read it. I have been in my own business now for two years and am ce always looking for practical business advi in it d foun I . earth the cost n’t that does emPOWER. I’m not usually one to write you in to magazines but I wanted to thank the in nch Lau for the article, Failure to of Summer issue. I’ve just written a series rce’ and divo after s ship ation ‘Rel three eBooks on of the process of ding rstan unde t grea a me gave this article . easy it launching them. Thanks for making - Fiona

I was introduce to you by my friend who is doing your Be Your Best Self Challenge through Facebook. She encouraged me to get onboard and I’m really pleased I listened. We are now doing it together and having lots of fun with it. We catch up weekly and share what came up for us that week with the weekly challenge. We’ve also found that it’s bringing us closer together as we discuss things we’ve never discussed before. Thanks for helping us to ‘be’ our best selves. - Tamara

It’s never too late to join the challenge. Register now for great prizes and access to the exclusive BYBS Forum at

www.challenge.empowermagazine.com.au.

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We can change the world, one act at a time – a little kindness is all it takes.

t’s quite possible you have changed someone’s day without even knowing it. Perhaps you gave a welcoming smile when they were feeling left out, delivered a compliment, opened a door, offered up your seat on the bus or were generally helpful and pleasant when it was most needed. You can probably also think of moments when someone changed your day in a similar way. What happened in each of those moments is called an Act of Kindness – a small action that can make a big difference. Here’s how some of our readers are getting in on the act.

If I hadn’t experienced this for myself I would never have believed it. With all the rain lately, the usually dry creek next door to our house has been flowing with water. My six and eight year old boys couldn’t wait to go exploring so we donned our gumboots and went to take a look. As we were watching the water flow through the trees my six year old picked up a plastic bottle that contained some paper. In his curiosity we opened the bottle and pulled it out. I couldn’t believe there was actually a message on the paper that said, ‘We want to see where this ends up”. Underneath was a phone number. Excited (and a little skeptical) we went back to the house and rang the number. There was great excitement on the other end of the phone when I explained why we were calling. The bottle had only come a few kms away but was set sail by a nine year old boy who was most pleased with his little project. It was actually very cool and I was pleased we made the call. Leonie – via email

I was on the bus last week when two boys got on. The bus driver asked for the bus fare and while one of the boys paid and walked on, the other was rummaging around in his bag for extra coins. Sitting at the front of the bus and watching what was happening, I quickly grabbed my own wallet and handed him the extra money he needed. It was fun to help made me feel good. A couple of stops later the boy approached me having found his extra money. I told him to keep it; I am sure he could do with the money and I got to feel great twice! Sonia – via email

This is perhaps not so much an act of kindness however I love the concept, which calls on everyone to be kind and generous. The little supermarket in my local street has a small bowl at each register with a sign encouraging people to leave their small change in it. It’s not for tips but rather, the idea is that if you are shopping and find yourself short of five or 10 cents, you can help yourself to the bowl to make up the difference. I often put some change in there and have also used it more than once. Rebecca – via website

I was at the shopping centre the other day and there was a mother with two small children and a pram. She was having great difficulty getting the first child into the car as the person next to her parked too close. Before I could offer help (I’ve been there myself), another lady went over to assist, minding the second child while the mother did a contortionist act and got the child safely into the seat. While I wish drivers would be more considerate to avoid situations like this, there is also something heart-warming about human kindness. Annabelle – via email

I remembered that you include this page and just had to share this with you. I was driving in traffic the other day, near the local shopping centre. A couple of cars in front of me I saw a woman get out of the car and head towards the centre. It had started to rain so she was trying to pull her jacket over her head. What impressed me was the car directly in front of me, whose passenger wound down the window and threw an umbrella at the feet of the woman. It instantly brought a smile to my face and I wished I had thought to do it. The woman in the rain a bit stunned but very appreciative and ran up to the car to thank the driver. I’ve thought about it so many times since and feel much more conscious to look for opportunities for kindness. Sarah – via website

cover story

Finding her place to call

home

Marta Dusseldorp has had an acting career that most would aspire to and yet happily admits she’s stayed ‘under the radar’. Until now. She talks with Helen Rosing during filming of her latest acting adventure, A Place to Call Home on Channel Seven.

or me, Marta Dusseldorp has been the quiet achiever; under the radar until her latest role in A Place Called Home airing on Channel seven in April this year. But little did I know exactly how much she has achieved in a career spanning 22 years. Within a year of graduating from the Victorian College of Arts she was cast in the classic film, Paradise Road with Glenn Close, Frances McDormand and Cate Blanchett. Since then she’s appeared alongside actors such as Judy Davis and Colin Friels and was one of 12 actors offered exclusive contracts with the Sydney Theatre

Autumn 2013

Company to form the Actors Company. Regarded as one of the country’s best stage actors she has also won a Helpmann Award

cover story

for her role in theatre production, War of the Roses. On the small screen her credits include appearances in telemovies Blackjack and Hell Has Harbour Views and the lead role of Senior Crown Prosecutor, Janet King in the ABC legal drama Crownies. Amongst it all she married fellow actor and director Ben Winspear whom she met 10 years ago when while working at the Sydney Theatre Company. She now has two beautiful girls and a relatively normal life. What I liked about Marta when we talked was her willingness to share not only the highlights of her career but also the disappointment and, in her words, ‘devastation’ faced along the way. While you may not have seen Marta in action yet, she is definitely someone to be watched and enjoyed. Helen: Tell us a bit about yourself. Where

did you grow up and how would you describe your childhood? Marta: I grew up in Sydney. My childhood was full of sand and surf, not putting on sunscreen and running around nude as a toddler. My mum was a working woman, as was my dad, so I had a lot of carers, but my mum was always there when she could be and I felt very supported by both of them. They were very busy active working parents. HR: Who would you say was most

Courtesy of Channel Seven

influential in shaping who you are today? MD: Certainly my mum and dad, and my sister, Teya. Then ten years later, my twin brothers arrived. I was sort of a mother to them. And, at every stage I had a lot of really great mentors. HR: What values did you grow up with in your family? MD: It was a very free house. You could speak your mind and you weren’t punished for that. We had a lot of big experiences; we liked to go on adventures. I often found myself in unlikely places. We traveled a lot because my extended family lived overseas. I was often sent on my own to visit my grandfather. I was always given a sense that I could be independent, that I was safe and a strong person. Even when I was quite young I guess I felt a sense of belonging to the human race and that was a good place to be.

HR: You mentioned your grandfather, Dick Dusseldorp. He did some pretty impressive things in property [Dick Dusseldorp was the Founder of Lend Lease and was responsible for building Australia Square and much of the Sydney Opera House]. He’s referred to as a ‘multimillionaire Australian philanthropist’. MD: I hate that. HR: Why is that? MD: Well, it’s not about money. It never

was for him. He was a visionary and he changed the landscape of Sydney architecturally. He created a motivation in a company that allowed for everyone to enjoy the spoils of whatever profits were made from that. So whenever I see that written, it sort of breaks my heart a little bit. Certainly there are men who are driven by money – and powerful men – but that wasn’t him. HR: Do you feel that your grandfather’s level of success in some ways flowed onto your life in terms of expectations? MD: Yeah. I have to say being a ‘layabout’ was never a part of who I was or what was expected. My mum worked hard, so did my dad. It was just assumed that I would always work really hard. As you know, with acting the rewards can come very quickly or they can come very slowly. I’ve been fortunate enough to have it come very slowly. I had this wonderful apprenticeship, in this craft that I love, and I’ve been able to stay under of the radar and learn and read and watch – and fail, but not necessarily in front of a billion people, which I treasure. I just turned 40 last week. Someone asked me how I was feeling about it. I said, “Fantastic!” I’m in such a good place; I feel ready for what’s happening. I’m prepared and responsible. I’ve got these incredible children and a fantastic husband. I don’t know, its just serendipity in a way for me. I used to be frustrated I wasn’t pushed out the front when I was young. Now I’m so thankful for that. HR: Was your family always supportive of your decision to be an actor? MD: Absolutely. I think that’s part of why I stuck at it, because my dad always said, “Mart, if you’re happy, you go for it, kid.” My mum was the same. I was never going to be out on the street. I could always stay with them if I needed it, and there were times that I had to move back in.

HR: Let’s talk about your career a bit. I understand you graduated from the Victorian College of the Arts and your first real casting was in the film, Paradise Road, with Glenn Close and Cate Blanchette. It was some time ago now. What do you remember of that time? MD: I remember thinking, “Oh, if this is what it’s like, acting is going to be awesome!” Three months in Port Douglas and all these amazing women surrounding me. Bruce [the Director] was inspirational and I was involved in this epic story of women in a prison camp. Then I was rudely awoken when that finished and I became a struggling actor trying to pay the bills. HR: What a great benchmark to have at the beginning of your career. MD: It was. I realised though it’s not about what you think is success. It’s about being successful in where you are. HR: What do you think the difference is? MD: I think in this world there is a lot of

expectation to be famous and rich and all those things you see as the benchmarks you should be meeting. Pretty early on I realised I had this incredible resource of people around me that were making me happier than any dollar bill. I just concentrated on that. HR: You’ve had a wealth of experience in theatre. Tell us about that. MD: All I wanted to do was be amongst a group of people who were doing the same thing and who all respected each other. I feel like I have achieved that and my peers consider me to be someone they’d like to work with and make stories with for people to watch. I do what I do so that other people can have experiences. HR: Have you been incredibly selective with the roles that you’ve done or are you fairly open to having a go at anything? MD: he roles that I have got, I wanted. I’ve found that when I go for a role that I’m not really sure of, I never get it. Maybe about four years ago I started thinking I wanted to go back into television so I started being pickier with roles. You need to in order to be available because theatre casts so far in advance. What I’m looking for now is to work with people who are open to fostering a woman’s power in whatever way. That doesn’t mean you’re just strong and

www.empowermagazine.com.au

cover story

I found Sarah a touching character to play with her secrets and her past. She’s not a victim, so I didn’t have to play on that. She is very damaged, yet so positive and hopeful of a bright future, of a healing. It’s not really about her. She’s a nurse so it’s about the other people around her. She’s not introspective at all. She meets all these wonderful characters when she comes back to Australia, and, over the episodes, so do the audience.

HR: Why do you think that’s become important to you? MD: Well, I had to play a lot of victims when I was younger. Something was always happening to me. I was always desperately in love or needing a man to validate who I was. I’ve also I felt that in my life as well. In defining and getting married as I have – and happily married – I’m stronger. I also realised that maybe you don’t need to expose yourself so much to be interesting. HR: I think for most of us you’re probably best known for your role as Janet King in Crownies (ABC). Tell us about that show for you and your character within that show. MD: I really loved Janet. I felt very bold at that time. I felt very ready to attack the TV thing, because I had just done so much theater. I played Queen Margaret in War of the Roses so I tasted this rich, complex powerful woman. Janet was a bit the same. I thought, “Maybe you can do that on TV.” On the show I’d relentlessly storm through the office, but got more and more pregnant and had to slow down. The whole thing about TV is you’ve got 22 episodes – that never happens in theatre. In theatre, maybe you get eight hours, but you’re not on for the whole eight. To go through 22 hours of a journey with someone and show people the twists and turns, I was thrilled. I

Autumn 2013

came to work every day like, “Woo-hoo! I can’t believe we’re still doing this.” HR: I understand you really liked her by the end. MD: I did. She was more confident than I’ve ever been – relentlessly confident. I have moments of confidence, but she was relentlessly confident. HR: There’s a great saying Archibald Leach (otherwise known as Cary Grant) said – that he acted like Cary Grant for so long, he became him. Do you think you became Janet in some ways? MD: No. I don’t think my husband would ever let her come home for long. That’s the other thing you learn as you get older – how to leave it at work. That’s a really important part of a functioning family and relationship. HR: Let’s talk a little bit about the new show that you’re doing for Channel 7, A Place Called Home, which centres on your character Sarah Adams. MD: She’s an amazing woman; I don’t think we’ve seen someone like her. When I got the brief of who she was, I couldn’t believe it. I thought, “Wow, if she got away with this, it would be wonderful.” She’s an outsider; she comes back after a long time away. It’s post-war, so early 1950s and Australia is changing but the war has made it tough to change. It’s like there’s been a massive earthquake and we all step in over the rubble to try and find anyone who’s survived.

HR: You’ve been around the industry for quite sometime. What do you think is the key to maintaining the longevity you’ve maintained? A Place to Call Home From the creator of Packed to the Rafters comes A Place to Call Home. Set in Australia in the 1950s, it’s a compelling and romantic story of one woman’s journey to heal her soul and of a privileged family rocked by scandal. Acclaimed actress Marta Dusseldorp leads the cast as Sarah Adams, a woman with a mysterious past who returns to Australia after 20 years abroad. Also starring Brett Climo, Noni Hazlehurst, Frankie J Holden and an exciting ensemble of new talent.

Courtesy of Channel Seven

shouting. It also means that you are a complicated complex, non-hysterical, intelligent human being who can manipulate situations just like men. I’m gravitating towards those people.

HR: Do you think she’s a reflection of you in any way? MD: No, I had to do a lot of research; I had to really soak myself in her past because it all has to be there… but not. It was quite confronting and challenging. Without giving anything away, there’s a lot of trauma in her life. I was speaking about my wonderful life earlier. It was harder for me to be her authentically and it was very important for me to feel like I got it right. That’s the most I ever researched a character. For months I was reading and researching. It was beautiful.

Do you want to be the

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HR: Most of what you read about celebrities is the shine and gloss. Obviously there are challenges that you’ve got to get through. What have those challenges been for you? MD: I’ve had moments of total devastation where I’ve gotten so close to something that I know would change my life and it hasn’t happened. Those are dark days, but you’ve just got to get up

in the morning dust yourself off and keep going. I can’t tell you how many times there was the question, “Is this worth it? You’re better than this” but what was I going to do? I didn’t want anything else. I understood it was going to be a journey of discovery and working hard. I still ask questions. I still want feedback. It’s the doing that’s important. HR: When you think of your career, what do you want to be known for? MD: Truth. You don’t want to lie to people. What you’re doing is make-believe, but you try to sing a song of humanity and give people a chance to have a look at how people behave, to reflect on their own lives and what’s happened to them. I’d like to be remembered as someone who did that; who helped spread joy and who helped entertain and maybe sharpened something

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Courtesy of Channel Seven

MD: Well, it’s an obsession for me; I’m possessed by being an actor. There’s nothing else I want to do. Through all the knockbacks and the disappointment and successes, it was never a question whether I’d do it or not. It wasn’t about anyone knowing who I was. Not ever. That’s not important to me. I often want to say that to the younger actors: “Don’t worry about all the star stuff. Just keep it real and do it for the right reasons.”

cover story

Thanks to Will Davidson for photography

that was out of focus for someone through the characters. HR: Let’s change tact a little bit. Relationships are obviously a big part of everyone’s life. It sounds like you and Ben have something very special. What lessons have you learned through your marriage about life and relationships? MD: Not to need and not to possess; just to walk next to someone independent and be able to admire them from afar as well as close up, and to know that they’re doing the same. The codependency thing is not healthy. HR: I understand you have two little girls – Grace and Maggie. What do you find most difficult about being a working parent? MD: The guilt. And I miss them. I miss them so much, and I miss big moments sometimes. At the same time, I’m always there and they know that, I’m pretty sure.

HR: Is it important for you to be that kind of an example for them? MD: Of course. HR: What do you want the girls to learn from you? MD: That’s a really good point, isn’t it? They see me positive and working, busy and providing and achieving, and I’m still there for them. And I never take it out on them. Yeah, I think that’s a great example to set. HR: It sounds like you and your mum. MD: Yeah. That was how I grew up. I’m

okay. HR: Do you think it’s really possible for women to ‘have it all’? MD: As long as there’s a supportive person. Ben is so supportive. He’s at home with the kids right now and has turned down two jobs to be there for them.

HR: What advice do you have for other women wanting to achieve more in their lives? MD: Gosh, I’m not sure I’m in a position to give that advice. In a conversation, I guess I might say make sure that you have the right people around you. Believe in yourself and keep going. Just be true to who you are.

business | Feature

sell

Build to

Every business is for sale – at the right price. Dorota Bryks provides an insight as to why you should start readying your business for sale from day one.

during the life of your business, and when you ultimately sell it. Good decisions, combined with good business performance, go a long way towards helping you sell your business at the highest possible value. Remember, the lower the risk in your business, the more attractive the business is to any prospective buyer.

10 steps to becoming sale ready

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enerally speaking, business Some simple steps can be taken early on in owners only think about the life of your business to increase its value, selling their business when minimise potential cost and effort down the they are approaching track, and ensure it is always sale ready. retirement, if they become frustrated with • Structure your business well the way their business is progressing, or if Before commencing operations, you they think it’s time to realise the fruits of should decide on the best legal structure their labour. But sometimes an unsolicited, for your business – whether that is a yet very desirable, offer can turn up out of company, a trust, incorporated joint the blue and you wouldn’t want to miss out venture or partnership. Getting the on an amazing opportunity simply because right structure from the start is crucial, you weren’t prepared. because each option results in different As a commercial lawyer, I’m regularly legal and tax implications throughout approached by business owners needing the life of the business. Changing help with selling their businesses, and the legal structure during the life of many of those owners lament that “missed your business may be costly and have opportunity”. unintended tax My advice to all consequences, which Make 2013 the year could be avoided business owners is to think about the sale you get your business in with the right advice process early on in the start. order and ensure that it from the business venture. Strong legal and is sale ready Why? Because, accounting advice through no fault of should always be their own, business owners only focus on sought when considering the right what they do best: establishing, running and vehicle through which to run your operating their business to make a profit. business to ensure it works for you. Then, when it’s time to sell the business or • Prepare (and update) your an opportunity arises, it becomes apparent business plan that the business is not sale ready, and the We all know that it is important to have sale negotiations can become difficult and a business plan. Although each business protracted. approaches it differently, the business Ideally, thinking about selling your plan should have a strong focus on business should start before you even marketing (including the attraction commence operations. The idea of being and retention of customers, image and ready to sell should remain with you branding), and should contain realistic throughout the life of your business. This is financial goals and funding analysis. because the decisions you make early on in However, the business plan is meant to creating a business will have consequences be a working document and should be

reviewed throughout the year, as well as annually, having regard to how the business is growing and changing, or is being affected by external forces. A current business plan is critical when negotiating the sale of your business. • Conduct a SWOT analysis (strengths, weaknesses, opportunities and threats) As a business owner, you know the strengths and weaknesses of your business, and the areas on which you need to focus to improve its performance. Again, by documenting and regularly reviewing your situation, you can ensure prospective purchasers have a clear picture of your business situation and minimise the risk of uncertainty in the sale process. • Protect your intellectual property If you use any trademarks or logos in your business, they should be registered to protect your rights. Legal protection of your business name through a trademark or logo increases the value of your business by ensuring your exclusive use of the brand. As a commercial lawyer, I strongly recommend that evidence of all intellectual property, business names, email addresses and domain names be kept in one current legal archive so they can be easily retrieved and identified. Someone in the business also needs to be given the responsibility of ensuring that trademarks and other registrations are renewed when they are due, and that any third-party breaches are addressed promptly. • Protect any personal property An important part of reviewing your business processes and operations is also to look at your contracts and terms, and then consider whether

Autumn 2013

Feature | business

• Value the business properly One of the most critical tasks when preparing a business for sale is to determine the sale price, or value, of the business. Financial advisers, lawyers and specialist valuers can assist you in determining a sale price for your business. A range of methods is used to reach a sale price that incorporates equipment, plant and premises, if applicable. Financial advisers and lawyers can also help you to determine the value of the more intangible assets, such as the goodwill, reputation, trademark and intellectual property of the business. Having a realistic idea of the value of your business is particularly important. All too often, business owners have an unrealistic perception of what their business is worth, which can cause problems when entering into sale negotiations. • Be ready for due diligence Due diligence is the important legal and financial research process that a buyer’s lawyer and professional advisers conduct on their behalf. The process highlights any issues that need to be addressed prior to the purchase, or in some cases, alerts a prospective buyer to the fact that it would be unwise to buy the business. As a business owner, it pays to ensure you are familiar with the issues a purchaser will consider, and that you know what they will find when they start digging. Due diligence includes understanding the following: the ownership of the assets being purchased; any outstanding debts; pending and potential litigation or claims from any party dealing with the business; leases; warranties; contracts and employee agreements.

Take action

It is never too late to start readying your business for sale, even if it has been operating for some time. Speak to your lawyer and accountant for advice when setting up your business to ensure you establish the best possible processes and procedures from the outset. If your business is already operational, make 2013 the year you get your business in order and ensure that it is sale ready. A little time and effort spent housekeeping and preparing your business now, can mean the difference between seizing an opportunity and enjoying the rewards, or getting bogged down in a long and protracted and sale process. Questions a potential buyer might ask • Why is the business for sale? • What is included in the sale (goodwill, location, customers, assets, phone numbers, domain names and so on)? • What is the current business plan? • How valuable is the brand name? • What other intellectual property is critical to the success of the business? • How is the business perceived within the marketplace? • What share of the market does the business control?

Dorota (Dee) Bryks is an experienced commercial lawyer and an associate with Coleman Greig Lawyers. She has particular expertise in the preparation of contracts and assisting clients with the sale and purchase of businesses. Dee is recognised for her commercially-focused approach and strong communication skills, keeping clients informed at every step. www.colemangreig.com.au

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your security interests should be registered on the Personal Property Securities Register. Registration of property creates additional value in your business and enables your business to enforce these interests if necessary. • Review all your contracts Throughout the life of your business, you should ensure that all of your commercial contracts are accurate and up to date, including leases, hire purchase agreements, client and supplier contracts, and licence agreements. Ascertain whether any of these contracts are assignable on the sale of the business if they are long-term contracts or lucrative supplier contracts – it will make the business very attractive to a potential purchaser. Take a look at your employment contracts to ensure that they include confidentiality provisions and identify who owns any intellectual property created by the employees. Are the restraints of trade in any employment contracts enforceable? Value is created where these terms are favourable to your business. • Streamline systems and processes During operations, you should be creating a strong infrastructure of both systems and processes, so that buyers will be comfortable that the business can operate on its own without you being there. You must be able to hand over the corporate memory. You should also make sure that client records are accurate and take steps to reduce any debtors, if applicable. • Keep accurate financial records A prospective buyer will assess the performance of the business based on the latest financial records. Work with your accountant and auditor to make sure everything is reported accurately and that all of your figures can be explained. Any taxation liabilities should also be clearly explained.

www.empowermagazine.com.au

business | Feature

5.5 ways to

boost your profit Want to increase your market share? Ben Angel’s strategy will help you find people ready to buy what you have to sell, and sell it to them.

There are millions of transactions taking place all over the world daily, so why isn’t your business getting a slice of the action? You’re up with all the latest trends in marketing and you’ve tried them all – Facebook, YouTube and Google AdWords. You’ve even tried cold calling, but nothing seems to convert your leads into prospects. Without spending a fortune, how do you find the people who really want what you have to sell? How do you choose the marketing options that will boost your profits and establish your business in the marketplace? Here are 5.5 ways to do just that.

Before you spend a cent…

Before you shell out on a marketing campaign, think about your branding and the message that your business is bringing to the marketplace.

Autumn 2013

What is your brand philosophy? What is your business saying? If you haven’t thought about it, you’re fishing without bait. If you don’t think that’s important, let me ask you which airline you fly with. Do you choose Tiger Airways, Qantas, Jetstar or a different airline? Now ask yourself why you choose that service. What attracted you and what does it say about you? Customers purchase products and services, and engage with brands they feel are a direct expression of who they believe themselves to be. What do your customers want to say about themselves by purchasing your product? It all comes back to our primordial instincts and preferred status. Have you noticed that it’s called a status update on Facebook? It’s playing to our biggest primal instinct – status. Your brand must play to it, too, if you want to be successful. Your business must have a philosophy that connects with prospective customers and speaks to their primal instincts. For example, if you want inspirational customers, you and your business must be inspirational. That means not trotting out the same old marketing line that everyone else is using. Don’t market your product; market the difference it will make in your life. Eavesdrop on the conversation going on inside your ideal customers and pay attention. They are refining your philosophy for you. Be clear on your message and your brand philosophy, and don’t go anywhere

without it. It needs to shine out of every word and action taken by you and your business. It’s the bait that will attract your customers and have them queuing up to get to you.

Add thousands to your list

How to reach them

To make money on or offline, we follow a three-to-one formula. For every three pieces of content we create that provide purely free and educational value, and for which people have opted in via our sites, we must have one direct promotional piece that makes an offer for an immediate sale. This means that you build your list and generate sales consistently. Your database is the biggest asset any business could own. Most of your sales will spring out of your list, so it’s worth spending time to build it up, and that means consistently sharing quality content. Your list will help generate future sales, and as it grows, so will your income as more people opt in and continue to convert. We use this formula to ensure low opt-out rates and to groom these customers to buy our products and services. We share information three times as often as we ask for a sale, which keeps people feeling comfortable, yet every piece of information we share leads them closer to making a purchase. You need to offer an incentive for people to opt in to your list. Have you heard of ascension marketing?

Feature | business

In an ascension marketing model, you first give away something for free, attracting as many people as possible. Once they are on the list, you sell something cheap, which is a low-risk way to sample your products and services. Then offer something moderately priced, and lead them to your most expensive service. This way you can gently turn a $30 customer into a $20,000 contract. This formula works no matter what your industry. Objective number one is to get the lead to put some kind of trust in you. When they trust you, they are more likely to buy from you. So funnel everyone into your free offer. That is where all your links should lead. Where do you find people who might opt in? You work out a plan. Develop a three-month marketing campaign, which includes week-by-week activities that you can do to build your list. Here are some suggestions. Purchase advertisements in email newsletters. These usually bring a quick response if you choose a newsletter that is relevant to your target market. Promoted Facebook page posts are killing it right now and cost less than $1 per lead when done well. And Facebook ads enable you to narrow the range of people your ad reaches so you can hone in on your target. Google AdWords still bring good results. Look at using their display network instead of just text ads. Clicks through to your site can be purchased for 0.01cents. Use affiliate marketing – but be selective. Choose sites that are selective about the businesses they promote instead of those that bombard their list with promotions. The most cost-effective way to generate is to find where your prospects gather and go there. Don’t try to market to everyone. Well-targeted marketing is cost-effective marketing.

Convert, convert, convert

Up–selling on steroids

Up-sell: Each product must seed the next and lead gently through your sales model. Cross-sell: Show the benefits of having both. Down-sell: Sometimes people purchase your most expensive product but not the cheaper ones. You can down-sell to increase customer value and profitability. One-off offers: Increase the urgency and incentive to buy with a seven-day trial, a first 50 offer, a competition, or 30-day money-back guarantee. Audience re-targeting: When people leave your site without becoming a customer, Perfect Audience shows your ads to them when they go to Facebook, so they see your message again. This increases the likelihood of conversion and reinforces your brand message. It’s affordable, too.

5.5

will probably find that it is less than one per cent of your total audience, and even less than that from your target market. You are doing at least 99 per cent of things right. Even Branson can’t do better than that. Criticism often comes from a position of ignorance or jealousy. Ask yourself whether the criticism is offered with your best intentions at heart, or are they projecting their issues on to you and your brand? Usually the criticism says far more about them than you. Maintain your dignity and your brand positioning, and keep going. Marketing is a full-time process that should evolve as your business and target market evolve. Don’t expect to get it right all the time. Try something and if it doesn’t work, try something else. You know you’re on the road to success when you learn that failure is just a temporary detour. Keep your message and brand philosophy clear in your mind and it will attract the very clients you hope for. Ben Angel is an author, business and lifestyle columnist, and Australia’s leading personal branding specialist. He grooms entrepreneurs, companies and authors in how to become more seductive to their target market and to the media. Download a free copy of Ben’s book Sleeping Your Way to The Top in Business from www.benangel.com.au.

Embrace the attacks

Whenever a person or business becomes successful, there is someone ready to attack, especially online. But instead of worrying about the criticism, celebrate it. If you take a realistic look at the percentage of people complaining, you

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Selling is a step-by-step process and, when done well, each step pre-sells the next. It’s called seeding, because the seed for the next stage is planted at the end of the one the client is at. Think of it like education. You start at kindergarten, then move through primary, secondary and perhaps university. You can’t attend them all at once; you need to

complete the first step before you are ready to take the next. Marketing products should work in the same way. In the ascension model, your leads opt in for a free report. The report should lead into the next step, which is to buy the inexpensive product. Your sales processes are then triggered and automatically launch the up-sell to the more expensive product. Each level plants the seeds for the next as your leads work their way to the most expensive offer. It’s important, though, that each step delivers a greater experience and greater value. That’s another way of confirming the trust relationship you have established. There are other ways of planting the seed. Media exposure gives you instant credibility, particularly if your brand message shines out. Case studies using stories from happy customers help consolidate your credibility, as do client testimonials. Let social proof supplied by others plant the seeds for you.

www.empowermagazine.com.au

business | Feature

joy

Find

in your

business

People go into business for all kinds of reasons, but Simone Milasas wonders why anyone would do business if they didn’t find it joyful.

n hearing the term ‘joy the business requires, and there is never of business’, you might enough time to appreciate the joy of living. think we’re talking about But what if you treated your business more everything being light, fluffy like a small child or a puppy that you can and fun, with everyone laughing and lots of play with? Would it be different? money coming in. But it doesn’t necessarily I have never done anything for money mean that. What if the good, the bad and and I never would. I do business for the joy the ugly – every single part of business of creating something. I hear people saying, – were actually joyful? Well, it’s like that “I am going to do this, this and this for you to me. Business is an incredibly creative, – how much are you going to give me?” malleable adventure that we can change in This sort of attitude twists my head because every moment of every day. in the joy of business, money follows joy. Is that a new It’s never about the perspective on money first. In the joy of business for you? If I know joy in it is, welcome to the business, money follows business isn’t always joy of business! If not, And we joy – it’s never about comfortable. what would it take to cling to the comfort the money first expand your joy of zones of what business? we know, rather Here’s how to start – ask questions of than running forwards into the infinite your business. It sounds a little strange, but possibilities that we haven’t yet explored. So what if your business had its own knowing? what makes you comfortable in business? Would you be willing to have all the How much money are you comfortable awareness available? Or are you limiting with? And how much more could you ask your business by only for? How many clients are you comfortable listening to what you with? How many days a week are you already know? working? For each of us, there is an Here are some area that we consider questions to ask a comfort zone. if you’d like to expand your business: “What do you require of me today? Who do we need to speak to? What additional information do we need? What do we need to change today?”

Enjoy your business

A new dawn

When you wake up tomorrow, would you be willing to perceive your business from a totally new space? One where nothing is certain, everything is unknown, and you are living on the creative edge of what else is possible? Is it time to stop being comfortable with what you know, and start being uncomfortable with the joy and ease you are creating? Who would you be if you left all of your comfort zones behind? What if none of what you have already created is significant? What if money isn’t significant? What if business isn’t significant? When we stop making it all really important, we give ourselves the choice to create something greater. What if you could be aware of everything, and be totally willing for everything to change? If you are aware of something, you can change it; if you are unaware of it, you can’t. So, what if you ask to be aware of everything that requires change in your business, and instead of making each awareness into a problem to be fixed, you ask what would create the greatest ease and the greatest joy, and make your choices from that perspective? Money follows joy, so how much joy in business are you willing to create? Simone Milasas is a director of multiple companies and a business mentor, specialising in enabling people to create businesses that operate from the ‘joy of business’. She presents her Joy of Business programmes internationally and online. Simone works from a totally different place with business: she really likes it. www.accessjoyofbusiness.com

Fotolia

Many people function as though their business owns them. They are at the beck and call of what

And for some of us, it is being in debt. What if that could change just by moving into the uncomfortable zone that can also be the joy of business?

Autumn 2013

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Photos courtesy of Webb & Brown Neaves

neighbours names & numbers

Home Builders

First Home Buyers Relax and recharge in and around the Neat 4 x 2 in a prime sub development. sparkling below ground pool or fire up the First Home Buyers/Investors take note. bbq and dine with friends in the generous Recently completed, only been occupied entertaining area. for 12 months, at present returning good Close to nature, yet still a part of the cityâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s income as rental property. vibrant lifestyle. Located in a tree-lined All quality fixtures and fittings throughout. street, surrounded by parkland, yet only Generous living spaces inside with polished minutes from Ashdan Valleyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s shopping timber floors, reverse cycle air-conditioning, and cafĂŠ strips. walk in robes, modern kitchen, garden A great family home. shed, landscaped gardens and secure parking in the double garage.

View: Wednesday & Saturday 1.00-1.45pm Auction: at Ashdan Valley Monday, 25th October 2010, 3.30pm Valley Civic Centre, 88 Chapel Street, Ashdan Details: Jane Smith 0141 124 124 Email: jsmith@realtyco.com.au

56 Chapel Road, Ashdan Valley NSW 2034 Phone: 02 3456 7890 Fax: 02 3456 9876 Web: www.yourrealtyco.com.a u

and Investing

in Real Estate

/ 13

Better Buying

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Public Hols

A RY

YourRealt ASHDAN VALLEY yCo.

Ring me now!

Jim Brown 0412 345 679

om.au altyco.c www.re

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 13 14 15 12 16 17 18 20 21 22 19 23 24 25 27 28 29 26 30 31

Selling or Buying?

ents

jsmith@yourrealtyco.com

S 6 Phone: 02 3456 7890 1 2 3 4 5 12 13 Fax: 02 3456 9876 7 8 9 10 11 nvalley.com.au 19 20 14 15 16 17 18 26 27 j.andretti@ashda 21 22 23 24 25 28 29 30

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Email:

2400

2013

ASHDAN

Public Hols

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Street, 0000 56 Chapel Valley YS Ashdan 1234 5678 Phone: 8765 m.au Fax: 1234 altyco.co sales@re

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tyCo. YourReal VALLEY

School Hols

www.propertiesaustralia.com.au

56 Chapel Street, Ashdan Valley YS 0000 Phone: 1234 5678 Fax: 1234 8765 Email: sales@realtyco.com.au

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APRIL

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internet : to view, visit

Jane Smith

REPRESENTATIVE

0141 124 124

FEBRU

ÂŠ 2005 1406984 Printforce.com.au (08) 9223

2400

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Succes sful ES SePRllin TI GE g.. IntelligenPRt.OP ER TI Investing... ES Buying at

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S 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 13 14 15 12 16 17 18 20 21 22 19 23 24 25 27 28 29 26 30 31

Your Guide

Real Estate

Investi

ng in

Ashdan Valley

2013

Your

Realty Co. 56 Chapel Phone: 02 Road, Ashdan Valley 3456 NSW email: sales@a7890 Fax: 02 34562034 shdanvalley.com. 9876 School Hols au

LATEST

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s EVE NTS

s DIS TRIBU TED

YO REA UR .CO LTY TO OV ER 50 0 LOC ATION S

Weâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve got the lot and the sales records to prove it. Having the right team market your property can save you time, money and headaches. If youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re thinking of selling call us today! 56 Chapel Street, Ashdan Valley YS 0000 Phone: 1234 5678 Fax: 1234 8765 Email: jbrown@yourrealtyco.com.au Web: www.yourrealtyco.com.au If your property is listed or managed by another agent please disregard

2445 this communication. ÂŠ2007 00000000 PP Printforce.com.au 08 9223

YOUR

Smith Realty Pty Ltd trading as Your Realty Co - ABN 00 000 000 000

REALTY .CO

www.realtyco.com.au

YourRe alt ASHDAN VALLEY yCo.

56 Chapel Road, Ashdan Phone: Valley 02 3456 7890 Fax: NSW 2034 email: sales@as 02 3456 hdanvalle 9876 y.com.au

w Do you know what the reall value of yourr n home is in ? todayâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s market? Call John Smith

0123 456 789

JANUA T

FEBRU

2013 YOUR

REALTY .CO

YOUR

REALTY .CO

ÂŠ 2012 0P12N

000000_001

CE Printforce.c Printforce.com.au

(08) 9223

2400

om.au Email: jsmith@realtyco.c

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Call us any

time The Winning Team from ! Ashdan Valley.T 3456 7890 0

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When it comes to print & marketing, you deserve the best and so do your vendors ndors â&#x20AC;˘ Business Cards â&#x20AC;˘ Letterheads â&#x20AC;˘ Envelopes â&#x20AC;˘ Letterbox Droppers â&#x20AC;˘ Fridge Calendars â&#x20AC;˘ Property Marketing

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business | Social Media

Mobile

marketing

In a world that is cluttered with advertising, it’s critical that you can communicate effectively. Chris Henderson provides some insights into SMS marketing.

After an extensive career in private recruitment, employment services and education spanning more than 20 years, Chris Henderson founded SMS Marketing Solutions Australia. The company was established to enable Australian businesses to grow their bottom line and better engage with their new and existing customers in this digital and mobile world. www.smsmarketingsolutionsaustralia.com.au 123rf

MS is the most popular form of communication today, with around 11 billion messages sent in Australia in 2011. On average, an SMS is read within four minutes, compared to 48 hours for an email, which is why SMS should be a critical component of any company’s strategic marketing plan. SMS marketing is any marketing activity that’s conducted through a network where consumers are constantly connected using a personal mobile device. It provides businesses with seven unique benefits: • It’s a personal mass medium; • Customers are permanently connected; • It’s always carried; • You have a built-in payment channel; • It’s available at the point of creative impulse; • It has the most accurate audience information; • It captures the social context of consumption. Effective communication via mobile phones allows immediate, personalised messages, but how do you start using SMS marketing as part of your business? You need a database. If you don’t have one, you need to build one. Ask for your customers’ mobile numbers or use a keyword SMS campaign (see below) to begin building a database of your customers. If your business runs a customer relation management system (a CRM records all interactions a company has with its customers), you have the details at hand, but an Excel spreadsheet is an easy alternative. The database needs to include mobile number, obviously, and other useful information such as first name, surname, address and postcode, and date of birth. If

or radio, should have a keyword linked to it, so even if it’s encountered on the train, after hours or in an advertisement, people can respond. Potential clients see or hear that if they SMS a certain you can add information relating to your word to a particular number, they can specific business, it will give you greater learn more or request a call back. flexibility with your messages. 2. Broadcast campaign: SMS messages Engage! sent to your entire database or a specific Talk with your customers more often. subset of it. The broadcast is about Make it personal, interactive, regular, useful offering additional customer service, and, when appropriate, include a call to or simply staying in touch with your action. clients. Personalise it, communicate Include a link in the SMS to direct with your database, send a newsletter, people to your website, where you have launch a sale, announce a new menu… more information, pictures, videos and 3. Alert campaign: automatically set up perhaps even sending of messages a coupon for a specific dates Make it personal, for discount. Tell for any other type interactive, regular and of event. You can them when you have something useful, and include a set them up to go new happening in out days or weeks call to action your business, and before, or on the generate loyalty by morning of the inviting them to a unique event: “Flash sale event. A great solution if you are in the tonight 6-9pm”, for instance. service industry to remind customers Send them useful, non-sale about hair appointments, their next car information, such as changing opening service, and so on. times over public holidays, a reminder 4. Ad hoc template: a template saves you for their next appointment, and birthday having to type a message repeatedly, wishes – a gift to help celebrate works well. especially when you are sending it to And don’t forget to ask for feedback. only one person each time. If you set up a template, it saves a significant amount Message types of staff time and effort, and it can also With SMS marketing, there are four basic be personalised. Use it for appointment types of campaign messages. and/or outstanding payments 1. Keyword campaign: build or expand reminders. your database by using clever keywords However you use SMS, you ensure to create action at the point of creative your message gets across quickly and impulse. Every form of advertising you directly, making it one of the most efficient do, whether its print, billboards, TV marketing tools around.

Autumn 2013

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Why are fuel discounts so appealing? Because fuel is a universally appealing bonus – everyone needs petrol for their car and everyone hates paying the exorbitant prices we see at the pump everyday.

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business | Women in business

Mind

to Business

Renna Danelutti’s innovative aromatic candles melt to transform into soothing lotions and massage oils. She talks to Helen Rosing about how her hobby has transformed into a burgeoning business. Q. Tell us about yourself. What were you doing before you started Mind To Body? A. I was born in Sydney in 1975 to Turkish immigrant parents, and am the eldest of four girls. During the first 15 years of my life, I travelled to Turkey and back with my family several times, and was taught how to make my first candle by our Greek neighbour in Istanbul. I didn’t get to finish my high school education due to family circumstances; however, as a mature student, I completed a business management course at UWS and a diploma in real estate. Before I started my own company, I worked in real estate but always had an entrepreneurial spirit and was determined to succeed in pursuing my passion in the candle and beauty industry. I am happily married to Paul, and have two beautiful daughters, Izel and Melissa. Q. How did the decision to start the business come about? A. I started my own pregnancy skincare business, Mum To Be,

Autumn 2013

after a very difficult pregnancy. With Mum To Be, I introduced my room candles. I was overwhelmed by the response to my natural and non-toxic products, so decided it was time to introduce my innovation – Mind To Body four-in-one massage and lotion candles, which everybody can enjoy for both ambience and skincare. Q. In a nutshell, how would you describe your business? A. Fun, exiting and relaxing! We manufacture our four-in-one candles in-house in Sydney; our dedicated team loves making them as much as our customers love using them. Quality assurance and customer satisfaction are paramount. We also manufacture private-label room candles for companies in Australia and around the world.

Q. Take us through the development of Mind To Body. A. I knew I could create an innovative, niche product incorporating my passion for candles and skincare. Using my interest and knowledge in aromatherapy and organic, natural ingredients, I worked for years to create the perfect blend, using a 100 per cent soy base. One thing I kept in mind – there is no substitute for quality. We started with our signature black box retail range, but looking at our sales statistics, we found a large portion of sales was in the professional sector.

We used our client database to find out what we could do to help them, and what was missing in the market, then we created our professional range, which keeps growing. Our main clients for our professional range are beauticians, day spas, nail technicians and hairdressers. They are always looking for products that can help them with their business and provide proactive and innovative treatments. Our four-in-one treatment candles have been developed with organic and natural ingredients, and don’t contain any chemicals. They are unique and, most importantly, our customers love them.

Q. What kind of research did you undertake prior to starting the business? A. My research came from years of experience with raw ingredients and my candle-making hobby. I researched other companies, and spoke to spa and salon owners. I had overwhelmingly positive response and they all wanted my creation as soon as possible, so I took the gamble and Mind To Body was born.

Q. How have you funded the business? What has been the biggest expense? A. I started Mind To Body with our savings and a couple of credit cards. Because the product took off as soon as it was launched, all credit card debts and money injected were paid off within the first six months, and now the business is self-sufficient. My biggest expense is marketing, investing in trade expos, and full-page printed ads.

Women in business | business

Q. When recruiting staff, what do you look for? A. Values. Values are very important to me in both family and work life. My friends are my staff. I employ mothers who work school hours, enabling them to drop off and pick up their children from school. This is a powerful tool when it comes to having happy, hardworking staff, who love to come to work each day. Q. What has been the biggest hurdle you’ve had to jump over in the business? A. Keeping up with demand! We also had trouble finding box and glass suppliers we could rely on, and in the early stages we went through quite a few.

night for networking and meeting the most amazing people. Q. Were there times when you felt the business was not working? A. Yes – with every business you have good days and bad. Running your own business is tough, much tougher than I had imagined. When I started Mind To Body, I had days when I switched off my phone and computer, and just sat down and cried. I am blessed to have an amazing business coach, Ralph Anania. He has taught me how to overcome negative feelings and keep going. Remember: where there is a will, there is a way! My attitude is to not give up, and find a way to get on with it.

ind Q. What has been your biggest lesson so far? A. Learning to delegate. Because I started Mind To Body on my own, with my husband helping wherever he could, I was used to doing it all. Now that the business has grown in Australia and we export to six countries, I’ve had to learn to delegate tasks and share responsibility, and structure the business for growth. Q. You won the award for Female Entrepreneur of the Year 2012 in the Western Sydney Awards For Business Excellence. What does this mean to you? A. I was in shock when they called out my name. The award has made me realise what I’ve achieved, and being acknowledged by my peers for my hard work is surreal. I’m proud of myself, my husband and my team for their support, and for believing in my dream and myself. Q. Do you think entering and winning awards is an important business strategy? A. Definitely. It opens your eyes to where you are and also motivates you to where you could be with hard work and persistence. It’s great for brand awareness, and it also helps you evaluate your business strategy by answering all the questions that are asked while entering. It’s also a great

Q. As the business has grown, how have you needed to grow personally? A. I had to adapt and learn new skills. Learning to balance family and business, delegate, deal with people better, and empower my team. I can’t imagine ever feeling I know enough. I am still thirsty for knowledge and believe I am learning everyday. Q. How do you deal with the ‘dreamstealers’ you meet? A. I have come across jealous dreamstealers since I started my own business. I keep my distance and don’t share my dreams with them. I surround myself with positive and successful people, and live my dreams on my own terms. Q. What are you most proud of? A. I am proud to have a loving and supportive husband and family. This is the main ingredient to happiness and success. I am also proud of being the winner of the WSABE Female Entrepreneur of the Year and the award for excellence in exporting. Overall, my biggest achievement has been to follow my dreams and start Mind To Body

intelligent and a hard worker. He taught me to be thoughtful and patient, and to take pride in anything you do. My mum’s generosity and sensitivity, meanwhile, have always brought a sense of balance to my life. My husband, Paul, gave me encouragement and financial support. He taught me that it is OK to take a risk and chase your dream, and life is too short to not give your passion a go, and to believe in myself. His positive energy level gets me through any low times. My daughters, Izel and Melissa, keep me grounded at the end of each day, and remind me that my family is much more important than my business. Q. What else would you like to achieve in the business? A. My aim is for Mind To Body to be a well-known global brand. I would like to export to another six countries within the next two years. We are in the concept stage for our first store, and plan to franchise the Mind To Body experience. Q. What advice do you have for other women starting out in business? A. Make sure you have a real passion for the industry you want to break into. You have to be a leader and a communicator, and have a flexible plan that is constantly revised. Surround yourself with positive people who will pick you up, not put you down. Lastly, if you have a dream or an idea, go for it – or someone else will.

Q. Who are your mentors, and what have you learned from them? A. I have had a few mentors in my life. There’s my dad, who is highly

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career | Feature

Flourishing

in turbulent times In periods of uncertainty, anxiety levels can rocket. Mike Cook takes us through the Four Rooms of Change to help us thrive in times of change.

et’s face it, there’s a lot of fear and uncertainty right now. So what does that mean for those of us looking to implement major changes in our organisations over the next 12 to 24 months? One of the major challenges of the last decade was how to generate a sense of urgency when things are going well. The challenge for the current decade may well be how to manage our anxiety and inspire confidence to reduce the resistance to change. Fear and uncertainty may not necessarily be a bad thing if an organisation is looking to make a radical change. In a Harvard Business Review article of March 2002, ‘The Anxiety of Learning’, Edgar Schein describes two types of anxiety experienced during a change process: learning anxiety and survival anxiety. Survival anxiety occurs when people recognise they will need to change in order to fit into the new order. Learning anxiety comes from the difficulty of mastering new skills or mindsets and the loss of routines that brought past success. Ed Schein poses a challenge to those of us who wish to create change: that we figure out how to reduce learning anxiety while increasing survival anxiety through compelling, non-coercive means.

Autumn 2013

Contentment

Inspiration & Renewal

Self-Censorship & Denial

Confusion & Conflict

Four states of mind

The Four Rooms of Change is a theory that deals with change, with what happens with people and organisations in transition, and with how they can influence the change process by taking responsibility for their emotions and actions. The model was developed by the Swedish psychologist, Claes Janssen, in the late 60s and early 70s, as part of his ground-breaking research on the dynamics of change. The four rooms – or psychological states of mind – are Contentment, Self-Censorship & Denial, Confusion & Conflict, and Inspiration & Renewal. If we think of our experience of change in terms of a journey, we might start in the contentment room. Everything feels fine, we are relaxed and in control, and we have no desire to change anything. Then something happens and our external environment changes. This can happen very quickly, and we fall through what Janssen refers to as a trap door due to a significant event, or we find ourselves slowly descending over a period of time into the denial room. An interesting contrast here might be the traditional newspaper industry, which has gradually lost market share to online media over a number of years, compared to the financial services industry, which watched Lehman Brothers collapse virtually overnight. Denial means that, while we may have a general sense that something is different or not quite right, we are very successful at convincing ourselves that everything is OK. We may find ourselves struggling to stay positive or putting on a mask to show others that we are relaxed and in control. Sooner or later we have to face reality and we enter the confusion room. This is where emotions take over – fear, anger, sadness, self-doubt and feelings of inferiority are common. This is obviously not a good place to be and many of us make an unconscious choice to go back into denial rather than press on with our journey. But press on we must. By facing our fears and working through the confusion and conflict, we can find new hope, new inspiration and a way forward. We have entered the renewal room. Suddenly we have a sense of getting it all together; we are energised and find the creative resources to make things happen. Finally we are ready to complete our journey and step back into the contentment room.

Feature | career

Increased anxiety

connected with specific circumstances. In contrast, inappropriate While the Australian economy was booming, many of us struggled negativity is often more permanent and pervasive in nature. with the ‘business as usual’ mentality within our organisations; and As a parent, I try and often fail to practise the 3 to 1 rule in my looking back, we can now see how people had slowly slipped from interactions with my kids. After a long day at work and school, and the contentment room to the denial room. Why should we change with children who are physically and emotionally exhausted, it can when we are meeting or exceeding all of our business objectives? be easy to fall into the trap of expressing excessive or inappropriate Anyone who dared suggest that the very survival of the organisation negativity. In the corporate world, I often find the opposite to be might be at stake may have been laughed at or ignored. Today, as the case. Self-censorship and denial are common, and many groups we move from boom to bust, individuals, groups and organisations develop a culture of polite avoidance when it comes to dealing with find themselves in a state of confusion and chaos. Both survival and difficult relationship issues at work. learning anxiety have increased dramatically. Stress, anxiety and Managing multiple roles depression are all on the rise. The power of the Four Rooms of Change as a model lies both in its Research by Corey Keyes, a professor of sociology at Emory simplicity and in its depth. According to author and organisational University who works in the field of mental health and social development consultant Marvin Weisbord, it helps people “to be psychology, suggests that the absence of mental health may be just free to experience whatever is going on” in any situation. It applies as harmful to a person’s well-being as mental illness. We may find to us as individuals but can also apply to workgroups and the ourselves languishing at some stages of our life and flourishing at organisation as a whole. Consultant and coach Kerryn Velleman others. Keyes goes on to highlight the high costs, including lost points out that the model can be particularly productivity, associated with decreased levels to professional women who need of mental health. You can influence relevant to manage multiple roles in their family, According to Jane Dutton from the change process community, work and social lives. I can be the Center for Positive Organizational Scholarship, “Flourishing refers to being in by taking responsibility content with my work, inspired by a project in my local community, and in denial about an optimal range of human functioning and for your emotions and the relationship with my partner or the may be indicated at the individual level by amount of time I am spending with my kids; goodness, generativity, growth, thriving and actions more or less at the same time. resilience. At the collective level of groups So what can we do to make our families, communities and and organisations, flourishing may be indicated by creativity, workplaces happier, healthier and more productive? Claes Janssen innovation, growth and resilience, and other positive indicators, argues that reaching renewal means making a “conscious and such as engagement, flow, health and well-being.” realistic choice”. We might decide to take a stand and influence Being positive the current situation or move on to something new rather than Barbara Fredrickson of the University of Michigan and Marcial play along, or – perhaps worse – go back into a form of conscious Losada of the Catholic University of Brasília have explored the denial. In order to make that choice, we generally need to reach the dynamics of human flourishing and discovered something they “zero point of confusion”, where we are ready to let go of an old call “an absurdly precise” positivity ratio of 2.9. This is the tipping contentment; a belief that we have about ourselves or the situation, point at which social systems shift from languishing to flourishing. or a hope that things could go back to the way they were. Fredrickson and Losoda refer to a 1994 study by John Gottman, Eric Hoffer reminds us that, “In a world of change, the in which he observed couples discussing an area of conflict in their learners shall inherit the earth, while the learned shall find relationship, and measured positivity and negativity in language themselves perfectly suited for a world that no longer exists.” and emotions. Gottman reported that in the marriages that were Those of us who can let go of old beliefs and learn new ways of flourishing, positivity ratios were around 5 to 1. In contrast, in the thinking will surely not only survive but flourish in the turbulent marriages that were languishing or heading toward dissolution, times of tomorrow. positivity ratios were less than 1 to 1. Fredrickson and Losoda stress the importance of “appropriate Mike Cook is an organisational development consultant who negativity” in order to promote flourishing in relationships and designs and develops learning interventions in the areas of social systems. Gottman found, for instance, that conflict can be leadership development, team effectiveness and organisational healthy and productive within marriages, whereas expressions of change. It was while seeking a simple but powerful organisational disgust and contempt are corrosive. Barbara Fredrickson has found diagnostic tool that Mike came across and fell in love with the Four that guilt is more constructive than shame in helping to change Rooms of Change theory. www.fourroomsofchange.com.au behaviour. Appropriate negativity is generally temporary and

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career | Feature

All things being

equal Despite years of campaigning, there are still far fewer women than men in executive positions. Helen Conway believes a disciplined approach is critical to achieving workplace equality.

he business case for gender equality is clear. Countless studies have demonstrated how gender diversity improves business productivity and organisational performance, and creates competitive advantage. It enables organisations to attract and retain the best talent, appeal to a more diverse customer base, enhance decision-making and reduce risk. In the face of this extensive body of evidence, improving gender equality is an issue that should be firmly on the agenda of boardrooms across Australia. Indeed, many organisations, particularly those facing severe skills shortages, have recognised the benefits that accrue from embracing gender equality initiatives and have increased the number of female employees, and we are seeing more women in management. However, the latest national statistics on women in corporate leadership demonstrate that acceptance of the business case for gender equality has been limited.

Blocked paths

Leading the way

Leadership is particularly important. It is the driver of change. Leaders, as a minimum, must do three things. The first is publicly committing to a gender inclusive workforce and driving the necessary cultural and structural change to achieve gender equality. Secondly, leaders need to be role models. Many leaders are unaware that their behaviour can be part of the problem. For example, a CEO with a partner and children, who consistently works from 5am to 9pm and at weekends, is sending a message to their organisation that worklife balance is not available if you wish to progress to senior levels. Finally, leaders need to set clear expectations with direct reports in relation to gender equality initiatives.

As director of the Workplace Gender Equality Agency, Helen Conway is responsible for ensuring the agency promotes and improves gender equality and outcomes for both women and men in the workplace. In 2005, she received the Corporate Lawyer of the Year award from the Australian Corporate Lawyers Association. 123rf

The 2012 Australian Census of Women in Leadership conducted by the Workplace Gender Equality Agency (formerly known as the Equal Opportunity for Women in the Workplace Agency) found that in the ASX 500, fewer than one in ten directors are female. Most significantly, almost two thirds of those companies have no women in executive positions. The pathway to leadership for women in corporate Australia is blocked. So why are we so far away from achieving gender equality in Australian

workplaces? Basically, good intentions have not translated into actions and outcomes, because there has been a failure to position gender equality as a central business issue. Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s seen as an add-on, something that human resources departments look after. Gender equality needs to be moved to centre stage. The usual disciplines that apply to ensure the achievement of business initiatives must be applied to achieve gender equality. This involves leadership, focus and accountability.

Focus demands that gender equality is aligned with business strategy and established as a priority. Gender equality initiatives will differ from organisation to organisation; what is essential is that a detailed analysis is conducted to identify the issues that need to be addressed to remove barriers to gender equality. As with any business imperative, accountability is essential. Accountability involves establishing clear action plans, measuring and transparently reporting outcomes, and holding managers to account for achieving results. The most effective way to hold managers to account is to tie their remuneration to the results for which they are responsible. Many business initiatives founder on the rock of poor accountability. It is essential to be constant and vigilant in relation to accountability. This will deal with the resistance to change often found in middle management, a particular concern in relation to gender equality. Anecdotal evidence suggests some male middle managers passively resist initiatives underpinning targets relating to the appointment of women to management positions, because they consider these initiatives to be a threat. The journey to gender equality in the workplace has been long and still has a considerable way to go. The case is clear and itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s time for concerted action. Wellmeaning talk, which is not tied to tangible actions and outcomes, threatens to taint the issue and consign it to history as a failure. We need to recognise and build on past achievements in this area with urgency.

Autumn 2013

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career | Feature

Bullying workplace in the

Anne Wyatt takes a look at the current state of affairs regarding workplace bullying, and provides some useful warnings to those who have to deal with the aftermath.

orkplace bullying is a costly hazard. We’ve all read about people who have been pushed by bullying behaviour to take their own lives, of those who will never work again due to its severe psychological consequences, and of those whose lives and relationships have been significantly negatively altered by the abuse involved. And spare a thought for those who are falsely accused of this unreasonable behaviour. Being wrongly accused can be just as stressful as being targeted by such behaviour. The dollar cost of workplace bullying is not exactly measurable but it is considerable. As cited in a recent federal inquiry report, the Australian Productivity Commission estimates the annual cost to the economy to be in the order of $6 billion to $36 billion, and that the average cost of each case is in the order of $17,000 to $24,000.

What is workplace bullying?

While use of the term ‘workplace bullying’ is increasing, people can apply the term without knowing exactly what it means, or use it to mean several different things. The trend in terms of a definition is that, to be called workplace bullying, behaviour has to meet three major criteria: it needs to be repeated, unreasonable and to have the potential to cause harm. Reasonable management action, undertaken in a reasonable manner, is not workplace bullying. Sometimes people are led to believe that bad news, such as that which may be contained in a negative performance appraisal, constitutes

Autumn 2013

workplace bullying. If the performance appraisal content is valid and the communication is delivered in a reasonable manner, it does not constitute workplace bullying. There are many factors involved in workplace bullying, including organisational factors, cultural factors (as we have seen recently in relation to the Australian Defence Forces), the work environment and job stressors, work content and context, and various sociocultural factors. It is not as simple as there being conflict between two people. Conflict is not necessarily a negative thing and, in fact, can be quite productive where, for example, differing points of view can be creatively reconciled in building a solution to a problem. Over the past few years, there has been growing interest in the phenomenon of workplace bullying. This has led to interest from employees and employers, and their peak bodies, regulators, researchers, mental health workers and politicians, to name a few. It is good to see the conversation about workplace bullying expanding and maturing. There appears to be a much greater awareness of the issues due to the wider provision of information and resources, although there is still a long way to go.

Federal inquiry

At the end of November 2012, the House of Representatives Standing Committee on Education and Employment handed down its report following an inquiry into workplace bullying. It made 23 recommendations about issues such as what

the law in relation to workplace bullying should look like, the implementation and enforcement of laws and regulatory guidance material, workplace cultures, and prevention and resolution of workplace bullying. The full report, entitled ‘Workplace bullying: We just want it to stop’, may be viewed at tinyurl.com/ c8kazm3. As new style workplace health and safety laws have been or will be embraced in some jurisdictions in Australia, supporting guidance material has been developed. For example, in relation to workplace bullying, a draft Code of Practice, tentatively entitled ‘Managing the Risk of Workplace Bullying’, has been prepared, put out to public comment and returned for re-working. As it stands, the draft Code defines workplace bullying and sets out how the issue can be managed in a risk management framework. This document will not be embraced in all jurisdictions – Queensland and Victoria, for example – so it is important to establish what each state or territory is promulgating as guidance material for employers, employees and others.

Dealing with alleged bullying

In every jurisdiction in Australia, workplace bullying is covered by workplace health and safety legislation. This is because it is considered to be a psychosocial hazard in the workplace. This means it has the potential to lead to psychological and physiological injury. It also means that it is something that is foreseeable and it should be managed like any other risk to wellbeing.

Feature | career

So what are the general steps that should be taken if bullying is alleged in an Australian workplace? It is expected that the issue be dealt with in a WHS (Work Health and Saftey) risk management framework, like any other occupational hazard. Basically, this means that the hazard should be foreseen and ways of preventing, identifying and managing it planned, documented and implemented, and these strategies continuously evaluated with a view to improvement. Workplace bullying can happen in any workplace at any time, so it is important that employers have strategies in place to prevent and manage workplace bullying, should it occur. It is too late to set up such systems once the hazard is causing harm. Hopefully, the interventions will prevent cases of workplace bullying or assist to reduce the impact of this type of behaviour if it does occur. All too often, people say that while they were given roles and responsibilities in an organisation’s policy documents, they had no idea how to carry them out. For example, I was asked by a middle manager how to handle a complaint of workplace bullying. The person targeted by the alleged behaviour had taken the correct step of reporting the matter to his manager but the manager had no idea how to proceed. Not good for anyone.

A word about mediation

123rf

Once workplace bullying has been alleged, the situation should be properly investigated. Any such investigation should be fairly undertaken in a timely manner, sufficiently detailed and unbiased. The investigator should not have a conflict of interest. The purpose of investigation is to establish the facts of the alleged complaint. It is then up to the investigator to decide if it is more likely than not that the complaint

can be upheld. The investigator may make cases, this has presented another layer of any of three possible determinations: that bullying. the alleged bullying occurred; that there is Understandably, the alleged perpetrator insufficient evidence to make a finding; or can feel busted, and there may be payback that the alleged bullying behaviour did not behaviour with which the target has to deal. occur. There should be an appeal process This may be presented in a clandestine way in place if any party considers that the that only the target can perceive, and this in investigator’s determinations are incorrect. turn can lead to deeper feelings of violation Unfortunately, in cases where there on the part of the target. The perpetrator has been no investigation and where a fair can appear to have complied with or just investigation would have revealed requirements but instead they have used the that serious workplace bullying had taken opportunity to have another go. place, managers have prematurely ordered Cases of proven severe workplace the alleged perpetrator of the bullying bullying call for disciplinary action. Using behaviour and the target to enter a process a metaphor, suppose someone steals of mediation. Mediation is supposed to someone’s wallet. That theft should be a process be reported to where someone the appropriate To be called competent to do authorities, such as workplace bullying, so facilitates a the police. It is not communication up to the victim of behaviour has be between parties, the theft to engage repeated, unreasonable with the perpetrator which hopefully leads to an and to have the potential once the violation has agreement with occurred – it is up to to cause harm which they can the courts to sentence both go forwards. Mediation is supposed to the perpetrator if the crime is proven. In the be voluntary and entered into by all parties same way, if workplace bullying is proven, it in good faith. is up to the management of the organisation Often mediation is undertaken by to impose discipline, which may involve unqualified internal staff who have, whether anything from a warning to dismissal. This they are aware of it or not, been charged action should be taken on the basis of policies with keeping a lid on things and protecting and procedures previously developed as part the interests of the organisation and, in of the risk management programme. some cases, the perpetrator. In particular, it is hoped that litigation can be prevented Dr Annie Wyatt is a public speaking and losses of productivity minimised. and personal development coach. She is People often feel compelled to engage in an accomplished presenter and published the process because it is a requirement in author. Her background is in adult terms of their future working situation, education and psychological well-being at rather than it being something they would work. She is a certified NLP trainer and choose to do. Some people feel they have uses acceptance and commitment processes no choice because they won’t be believed if in her workshops and coaching sessions. they refuse to engage in mediation. In some www.DrAnnie.com.au

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career | Feature

Six

core

needs

Most of us have been impacted by workplace conflict. Dr Natalie Green knows how distressing this can be, and has a strategy that can help.

onflict will always be around in one form or another, because it’s part of human nature. Life would be pretty monotonous if we all agreed with each other all the time, and with such diverse personalities, attitudes and beliefs in the world, disagreement and conflict are inevitable. However, while conflict is inevitable, the impact does not need to be so significant. The impact of conflict at work can include staff absenteeism, staff attrition and workplace compensation claims and litigation, as well as low morale, reduced productivity, poor concentration, motivation and performance, lowered decision-making capacity, reduced self esteem and physical injuries. What if significant inroads to reducing conflict could be made from simply gaining greater insight into our own behaviour and that of others? You are only responsible for yourself, your behaviour and your own reactions and responses. However, by understanding yourself and why you do what you do, it is possible to gain greater insight into why others do what they do. In turn, it’s

possible to not buy into the conflict as much or be as distressed by it. One of the keys to this occurring lies in an understanding of the Six Core Needs, which stems from the work of Anthony Robbins. These needs can also be closely mapped to Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs, and give us insight into why we choose to behave the way we do.

Understanding others

Most success in life comes from the ability to enter other people’s worlds and appreciate where they are coming from. Having the ability to speak their language – to light them up – inspires them to take action and behave in a way that also leads them to success, so it’s a win-win for everyone. What if you could have greater insight into your own behaviour and, better still, that of the others in your world? What impact could that have?

What if by gaining this insight, you could

understand and appreciate others more, and in turn create improved connections that could stop some of the challenges we face? The six core needs are the invisible driving force that determines why we do what we do. They are profound needs that we cannot do without, and that help to explain our relationships, life situation and career. So what are the six core needs? 1. Certainty 2. Uncertainty 3. Significance 4. Connection and love 5. Growth 6. Contribution The first four needs are those of the personality, and the last two are the needs of the spirit. Without looking after the needs of the personality, you won’t get to enjoy the needs of the spirit, which is where the magic happens. How we satisfy these needs determines our experience of happiness, fulfilment and, ultimately, quality of the life, and these needs must be met consistently. These six core needs can be met in one of two ways. Either unresourcefully, which means the way the need is met is obtainable but not sustainable in the long term, and will ultimately not result in happiness and fulfilment. The other way is in a resourceful, constructive, obtainable and sustainable manner.

Meeting your needs

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Consider the ways in which you currently meet your core needs. 1. Certainty. This is about achieving order and control in your life and finding comfort and pleasure. Its

Autumn 2013

Feature | career

primary function is the feeling of security, manifested through feeling safe. Those with a deep need for certainty do their best to avoid chaos and the unexpected. Unresourceful: trying to control others, watching TV instead of having a life, playing computer games instead of engaging in reality, using food to selfsoothe, routine (depending on whether it’s holding you back or moving you forward), procrastination. Having tantrums to regain control. Some people stay in a relationship or career they are not happy in because it’s ‘better the devil you know’, and they obtain a sense of comfort and security in knowing what they have rather than taking the risk of the unknown. In a workplace, this can occur if someone throws an anger tantrum to get control of the team back, meeting their need in a low quality way. This is obtainable but not sustainable. Resourceful: backing yourself, having trust in yourself, certainty of self, allowing yourself to be who you need to become in order to handle the problem, having routines that are supportive and nurturing. Taking responsibility for your life, responding rather than reacting, allowing yourself to make decisions for your life. 2. Uncertainty. Those with a deep need for uncertainty do their best to bring in new opportunities, have variety, surprises, stimulation and the unknown, and sometimes create disorder and chaos. Unresourceful: drug-taking, intoxication, changing TV channels, self-sabotage, creating drama and problems for themselves so they have something to do. This is satisfying the need for uncertainty. If you have no clear sense of purpose or direction, this also creates uncertainty. Resourceful: playfulness, embracing adventure, changing the meaning of an event, different hobbies, embracing new challenges, using your own sense of creativity. 3. Significance. This is about the need to feel important and special. Those with a deep need for significance do their best to find ways to feel important and prove their self-worth, and can be

judgemental towards others. Unresourceful: trying to get significance through putting others down, promiscuity, gossiping, telling sad stories about self, selling yourself short, being a martyr, lying in a way that gets you caught, engaging in rebellious behaviour. Engaging in self-harm behaviour in a fairly public way to get attention. Resourceful: being a leader of self and others, volunteer work, speaking up, achieving a goal, being truthful to yourself, mastery in your field of endeavour. Fulfilling the need for significance is very important. If someone is sharing their own victories with you, that’s them wanting validation. So acknowledge them and give them the message that you care. Everyone wants to feel validated and have a sense of recognition, so it is important to energetically celebrate with someone, in a positive sustainable way, then they will want to come back and get more significance from you. By doing this, you are teaching them how and who to be when they are with you. The ability to notice significance in others is a cornerstone to success. 4. Connection and love. Those with a deep need for love do their best to share and develop relationships with people to receive love from others. In the absence of love, we settle for connection. Unresourceful: being needy, immersing and remaining in unhealthy relationships, connection through problems, such as drugs, smoking and engaging in self-harm rather than through people. Some people fulfil their need for connection through drama and problems, and not through people. Resourceful: Sharing, supporting, connecting through nature, religion, self-worth and your truth. 5. Growth. Those with a deep need for growth engage in learning and personal development to mature and evolve as human beings. 6. Contribution. Those with a deep need for contribution do their best to serve others around them and give, rather than simply receive.

Changing behaviour

There are many ways in which unresourceful methods of behaving can be replaced by resourceful and sustainable ones. Being aware of the needs and how you can engage in more resourceful ways of meeting them ensures you can do so, or seek assistance from others to do so, and therefore reduce your experience of unhappiness and potential conflict. By learning which core needs are most important to you, and fulfilling them in a healthy and resourceful way, you can achieve the peace, happiness and fulfilment you desire. When a person is bored or unhappy, they’ve usually overdone the core need, so they should embrace the opposite need (certainty – uncertainty; significance – connection). So if someone thrives on uncertainty, and then they have too much, they need to revert to introducing more certainty into their life. These needs can be met through different vehicles, so if you feel the need for more variety in your life and you can’t introduce it at work, choose a new hobby as a means to achieve it instead. Every person has all of these needs and has unconsciously prioritised them, so that two of them are responsible for much of our behaviour. Identify the two needs that resonate with you the most, and you’ll find most of your behaviours stem from trying to satisfy these needs. Then ask yourself, do I satisfy my needs resourcefully? Understanding the core needs and how people behave in order to meet these needs will help you gain a deeper understanding of your own behaviour and that of others. Then you can engage in resourceful ways to meet your own needs and set examples for those around you to engage in resourceful behaviours more often.

Six 37

Dr Natalie Green is a clinical psychologist, mindset strategist and coach. She works with women in business to empower them to gain insight into their own behaviour and assist them in transformation of their business and life, so they can be the best possible version of themselves. www.drnataliegreen.com.au

www.empowermagazine.com.au

you | Feature

Change your mindset, change your life Initiating change can be difficult, but Marilee Adams has identified two states of mind that influence whether our quest for change will be a success.

ost of us believe that change is hard, even when it’s something we want. Unfortunately, the daunting belief about the inevitable difficulty of change is why so many of us give up, sometimes even before we start. While change can be challenging, the biggest obstacle is simply not knowing how to change, regardless of which kind of change you’re facing. The first kind of change is when you initiate change for something you want; perhaps to make changes in a habit (such as exercising or eating) or in a relationship (either in your personal or professional life). The second kind is when you’re forced into it by people or circumstances outside yourself – for example, when a partner ends your relationship or the company you’re working for downsizes and you’re out of a job. In such cases, you didn’t choose what happened and are probably quite unhappy about it. Yet in both cases, changes are called for. The good news is that change is much easier when you realise that the most powerful place to begin is always the same – with yourself and the mindset you bring to the situation.

Change is all about mindsets

You can easily guess which mindset helps with change and which one hurts, regardless of the kind of change you’re facing. Remember, we all have both mindsets and they can change from moment to moment. The big question to ask yourself is, “Am I in charge of my mindset or is my mindset in charge of me?”

Changing mindsets by changing questions

I’d like to introduce you to two coaching clients, Carla and Fred, who sought coaching for quite different reasons. Carla had tried to initiate a change in her life and failed. Fred had been forced into making changes and was also failing. My work with both of them centred on teaching the impact of their mindsets so they could learn to navigate successful change. Carla wanted to stop being a coach potato and had decided to start a new routine of walking every day. But every time she missed a day, she beat herself up and got so discouraged that she stopped trying at all. She decided to get some coaching and try again, hoping that would make a difference. We discovered that she was asking herself Judger questions such as, “What’s wrong with me?” and “Why can’t I ever be successful?” Fred came for coaching because he had been out of work for months and was 123rf

Every one of us has two basic mindsets: Learner and Judger. While both are part of

our nature and quite normal, they affect us in very different ways. In fact, one of these mindsets creates obstacles to change while the other creates new possibilities. Like the weather, our mindsets shift frequently, but while we can’t change the weather, you can change your mindset. Happily, there are mindset tools that greatly simplify this process. By understanding these two mindsets, you gain the power to observe how they are shaping your mood, thinking and even your actions. This understanding also empowers you to ask yourself ‘switching questions’ for transitioning from one mindset to the other. Let’s begin with the Learner mindset. It is responsive, optimistic, open-minded, curious and creative. When we’re in Learner mode, we typically experience moods of hope and possibility. Our Learner way of being is thoughtful, connected and flexible, which helps us relate to ourselves and others in win-win ways. What about the Judger mindset? At its extreme, this mindset is reactive, pessimistic, close-minded, judgmental and dead-set on being right. When we’re in Judger mode, we typically experience moods of negativity, conflict and stress. The Judger way of being is critical and inflexible. When Judger is in charge, we end up relating to ourselves and others in win-lose ways.

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Feature | you

Learner and Judger questions Build your ability to observe your mindset by getting familiar with the two sets of questions below. First read all the questions in the Judger column, then study all the questions in the Learner column. Notice how each set of questions affects you – your mood, your thoughts and any body sensations you might feel.

desperate to find a job. Concerned friends told him he was his own worst enemy. He had loved his old job and was still angry at his old boss and righteously stuck in blaming the company for downsizing. The continuous loop of Judger questions he was asking himself included, “What’s wrong with those idiots?” and “Why were they so unfair to me?” Both Carla and Fred were mired down in the Judger pit, honestly wanting to change yet completely unaware that the mindsets they were holding only made things worse. Carla blamed herself while Fred blamed his boss and his old company. Their own Judger questions kept them feeling trapped, hopeless, frustrated and stuck, looking backwards instead of forwards. When you can open your mind, even for a second or two, you can also change your questions. And by changing your questions, you can change your life. Any time you feel yourself getting bogged down with Judger questions, try asking Learner questions to open you up to new possibilities and new solutions. You can easily identify which kind of question you’re asking by noticing how you feel, physically, emotionally and mentally. Are you feeling tense and uptight? That’s a good indication that you’re asking Judger questions. Are you feeling more relaxed, open and hopeful? Those are signals that you’re asking Learner questions. Scientists have demonstrated many times over that our problem-solving and decision-making abilities increase exponentially when we’re relaxed and feeling positive.

Judger Mindset

Learner Mindset

What’s wrong? Whose fault is it? What’s wrong with me? How can I prove I’m right? How will this be a problem? How will this hurt/limit me? Why is he/she so stupid& frustrating? Why bother?

What’s right? What works? What am I responsible for? What do I want? What can I learn? What are the facts? How can this be useful? What is he/she thinking, feeling, & wanting? What’s possible?

favourite switching questions. Am I in Judger mode right now? Is this what I want to be feeling or doing? What might happen if I stay like this? What assumptions am I making? What do I really want? How else can I think about this? Am I willing to switch? Carla soon became adept at asking positive, future-oriented questions, such as, “What support do I need to make these changes?” and “Am I willing to forgive myself when I’m not perfect and slip back Switching questions to Judger?” Fred started asking himself Once Carla and Fred learned to recognise questions such as, “What can I learn from the differences between Judger and Learner that experience?” and “What great new mindsets, their lives began to change. opportunities can I create for myself now?” Carla did stumble for a while whenever Both Carla and Fred made the changes she got mad at herself for asking so many they’d been seeking and quickly moved Judger questions. But I assured that that forward. As a coaching graduation gift, we’re all recovering I gave Carla and Judgers. The Judger one more The most powerful Fred mindset tends to be mindset tool to place to begin to make assist them with our default position; it’s basic to our change is with yourself future changes. survival. But when Many people have and your mindset Carla and Fred could memorised these calmly observe their five questions and questions and mindsets, they found it easy say how helpful they are, regardless of the to take advantage of the transformational situation: What do I want – both for myself magic of switching questions to speed up and others? Am I in Learner mindset or their ability to lead Learner lives. Judger mindset right now? Am I listening It’s amazing how quickly and easily with Learner ears or Judger ears? What these questions can make a difference in assumptions am I making? Who do I changing your mood, your thinking, and choose to be in this moment? how you relate to others. Even though their Any time you want to make a change, situations were very different, Carla and big or little, use those five questions to guide Fred asked themselves many of the same you. switching questions to shift their mindsets from Judger to Learner. Here are some From time to time throughout the day, stop to notice the questions you’re asking yourself. Do they correspond with tension you’re experiencing somewhere in your body? Tightness in your neck, jaw, buttocks, chest or anywhere else can be your personal signal to change your questions. Take a look at the box describing Judger and Learner questions to help you identify which mindset is in charge at that moment.

Marilee Adams, PhD, is president of THINQlab International and author of the best-selling book, Change Your Questions, Change Your Life; 10 Powerful Tools for Life and Work. Her new book, Teaching that Changes Lives, will be published in September 2013. You are welcome to contact her through her website: www.inquiryinstitute.com.

www.empowermagazine.com.au

you | Feature

brave –

vulnerable! Be

use to protect ourselves, putting down the weapons that we use to keep people at a distance, showing up and letting ourselves be seen.”

Taking off the armour

Being vulnerable requires great courage because it pushes you out of your comfort zone. Ally Beck is here to hold your hand, so let’s dive in…

Brene’s work on vulnerability is remarkable, but how do we do this? How do we put down the armour and be seen? Putting it into practice We take baby steps, are kind to ourselves, Here’s an example of how you could and try the following. implement the above advice. You’re Be aware: This is a great place to start. having a conversation with a friend via text Start with the knowledge that vulnerability message on the way home from work, and is in all our lives, then you can begin to something they say strikes a chord. see it in your life. Instead of it creeping up Be aware: You immediately feel angry on you, and you automatically defending and are aware you might lash out. This tells yourself with your armour, you can see it you that you feel like putting on armour and watch your response. and pushing this person away. Be present: Once you have the Be present: You’re nearly home and awareness, you start being more present instead of responding, you put your phone with your feelings and behaviour, and away and take a your reactions You let to vulnerability. Reach out and get shower. the water run over It’s important support from someone you, you breathe. to breathe – the You check in with feelings that come you trust yourself, “Why am up can be intense, I feeling angry?” and it’s vital to take the space you need to Let go: You work out that you were sit through the discomfort. Go for a walk, hurt by what they said. The tears begin take a shower, make a cup of tea and say to flow and you let them. You release the to yourself, “What’s going on? What am I anger and the hurt. feeling?” Realise: You realise that you have a Let go: Once we know how we are choice, so you decide to call your friend feeling, we can let go of anything that isn’t and clarify what they meant. You know ours, such as other people’s behaviour and your friend loves you and they wouldn’t what is out of our control – people, places, intentionally hurt you. You talk it out, expectations and opinions. This frees us up you feel heard and understood, and the to focus on what we need. Then we can situation is resolved in a loving way. release the feelings and emotions we have, Vulnerability challenges you and which enables us to move on. asks you to draw on the most courageous Realise: After letting go comes the part of yourself. However, the benefits far empowerment of getting to choose who outweigh the discomfort, because it brings you want to be. When feeling vulnerable, stop and make a conscious choice about the you closer to being the best version of your true self. Give it a try – you might be behaviour that best aligns with the person pleasantly surprised. you want to be.

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ulnerability can be felt in a whole range of ways. When a lump rises in your throat as your eyes meet those of your partner and you utter the words, “I want a divorce.” When butterflies flood your stomach as you take your newborn baby home from hospital. The way your voice quivers and your eyes look down as you present your work to your boss. The tears that well up as you watch your child walk off to class on their first day of school… Vulnerability takes your breath away and sees you stripped bare, and when we feel exposed, we tend to reach for armour to protect ourselves. However, the risk is that in doing so, we miss out on some of the most precious moments life has to offer. Brene Brown, author of Daring Greatly, says, “The courage to be vulnerable means taking off the armour we

Usually there are one or two people we can be ourselves with, who love us unconditionally and fully support us. It’s important when you’re feeling vulnerable and need support that you reach out and get it from someone you trust. If you don’t have someone or need extra support, contact a professional.

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you | Spirituality

Listen to your

inner

voice

or conflict in relating to others); irritable bowel syndrome (ignoring your inner child and driving yourself too hard); or fatigue (running down your central engine by straying off purpose). A perfect example of conflict between the inner and outer voice is when you want to leave your workplace, yet year after year you stay and slog it out. Your will (intuition) pulls you one way, yet your mind (ego) drags you in the opposite direction. The strain this places on your body can be intense, and other areas of your life can be affected – relationships, creativity and health.

Use your intuition

Saying ‘yes’ when you really mean ‘no’ can kill your mojo and, as Debbie Pask explains, lead to an unhealthy throat chakra.

Health and harmony

So what makes a healthy throat chakra? Saying ‘yes’ only to those things you love

With a background in advertising, a philosophy degree and 10 years’ training in energy healing, Debbie Pask illustrates how the rational and intuitive can combine to create a stronger approach to business and life. Debbie helps people discover and unlock their own life purpose, then plan their ideal career around that. www.rezinate.com.au fotolia

any of us do things out of duty, force, fear or just to keep the peace. In fact, we can be so busy that we often don’t stop to take a breath and think about what we really want and whether we are choosing a happy, energising path. Do you really know how these day-to-day decisions impact on you? Continually saying ‘yes’ to what your heart doesn’t want creates a conflict in your mind, body and spirit, and can really weaken your power and identity over time. This conflict can appear in the body as a health issue, such as a sore throat (not expressing your needs or nourishing yourself); lower back pain (too controlling

We all have an inner voice called intuition that guides and supports us – if we choose to tap into it. It’s designed to keep us on the right path and bring us into alignment with our purpose and passions. This internal voice is our super consciousness (soul, spirit or blueprint), and science has proven that our spirit or energy field has intelligent consciousness, and is the key to making big change in our life. In fact, the heart (our ultimate intuitive master) is 5,000 times more electromagnetic than the brain (check out Heartmath.org for proof) and communicates to the body through pulse waves, the nervous system, hormones and electromagnetic energy. If you want to make big changes and take evolutionary steps, communicate with your heart and ask what it wants. The physical point in the body relating to the inner voice is the throat chakra point, which relates to the expression of your will. Your goal is to bring your will (inner voice) and your expression (outer voice) into line. To match the doing with what you are saying. It requires being a listener of self and being able to communicate your likes, dislikes, dreams and goals clearly.

and want, and saying ‘no’ to draining friends or draining activities on your time. Synthesising old ideas into something new, and transmitting and receiving ideas confidently, creatively and in harmony. Connecting to like-minded and energising individuals, groups and cultures. Expressing yourself creatively – dancing, singing, playing music, painting, cooking, gardening and so on. Communicating with confidence, clarity and healthy boundaries (in your style, not someone else’s). Ready to tap into your inner voice? Try this… Step one: release what you don’t need in your mind and body. Write down all negative emotions, conflicting habits, old beliefs, past hurtful events and people you no longer need. Be as raw as you need to be. Burn the piece of paper to signify a purification of those feelings and ask to let them go with love (not hate or irritation because that just keeps these feelings close to you). Enjoy and reflect on this ritual of letting go. Step two: take another piece of paper and commit to stopping two draining activities and replacing them with two energising ones. Those new activities must give you a big ‘aha!’ moment in your heart so you are in line with your intuition. Keep this paper. Notice the huge difference in how you feel each day, knowing you are one step closer to what your true spirit wants.

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19 & 20 June 2013 Melbourne Convention & Exhibition Centre

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inspirational profile

Ryan In memory of

Lenore Miller’s son died aged just 19 after an asthma attack. She shares her painful story to raise awareness of the life-threatening condition.

spent most of my parenting years as a single mum raising my two gorgeous sons, Ryan and Bryce, who were five and two when their dad and I separated. At that stage, Ryan had been diagnosed with asthma; after a couple of trips to emergency and much concern on our behalf, the doctors finally ‘named it’ when he was around three. Bryce was showing similar symptoms and it was just a matter of time before he was also diagnosed. There was no fanfare or warnings that came with the diagnosis; it was just something they would have to manage and live with. There certainly wasn’t any suggestion that death could be an outcome. The fact that our boys suffered from asthma, while concerning, was not surprising because there was a history of

Autumn 2013

asthma on both sides of the family. Besides, lots of people live full and healthy lives regardless of their asthma. Over the years, we had a few trips to hospital with Ryan, including overnight stays. It was awful to see him struggling to breathe – however, with treatment he was soon back to his usual self. By the time the boys were teenagers, I had met my current partner, Glenn, and we were happily living together as a family, with the boys continuing to see their dad regularly. Asthma was just a part of everyday life, with Ryan appearing to have the more serious case and Bryce’s tending to be more exercise-induced and readily managed. When Ryan was 17, he met the lovely Alice and fell in love. He was working for an insurance broker and she was in her

last year of school. Alice had plans to go to England to celebrate her gran’s 90th birthday at the beginning of 2006, and then continue on a working holiday. By the end of the year, Ryan and Alice had decided they didn’t want to be separated and Ryan announced he would be going, too. I knew this was an amazing opportunity, so I set aside my fears about my 17-year-old heading off overseas without me. My concerns were softened by the knowledge that for the first part of the journey, Alice and Ryan would travel with her parents, before they headed off on their own adventure. A few months before they were to leave, Ryan’s asthma flared up and he spent several days in hospital. This was a concern with him planning to head to a cold climate but, of course, he wasn’t going

inspirational profile

to be dissuaded. So we set about ensuring he had all the correct paperwork, plenty of medication and a management plan to ensure he remained well and got help if required. When they returned to Australia, Ryan joined a larger insurance brokerage, and Alice began work within the financial planning industry. They’d had their jaunt and now it was time to start thinking about the future.

The unexpected

Life was humming along for all of us. Then one Saturday night, both boys headed off to hang out with friends. Ryan was celebrating a friend’s birthday, but was planning an early night because he had a work conference the next day, so I wasn’t surprised to get a call asking me to come and pick him up. However, he did say he wasn’t feeling well and that his asthma medication didn’t seem to be working properly. Slightly concerned, on the way home Alice and I talked him into going to the emergency department. He was reluctant because he didn’t want to be kept in overnight and miss his work conference. In the end, he agreed. Normally, I would have stayed with him, but he and Alice said they’d be fine, so I went home. Ryan was speaking in full sentences but clearly in need of additional support for his asthma. A short while later, I received a text message from Alice saying Ryan had been placed on the nebuliser and seemed a bit better. However, within the next hour I got a call from a very distressed Alice telling me Ryan was being transferred to intensive care. I raced back to the hospital. This was the event that I had never been warned about.

Rollercoaster of hope and despair

Alice and I were nervous, anxious and worried; feelings that increased when we were taken into another room. I knew it was the hospital ‘bad news’ room and I braced myself for the worst – never really believing my young, fit and healthy son could be in mortal danger. Eventually, two medical staff came to speak with us – Ryan was critically ill, it was touch and go, and they didn’t know whether he would survive the night. All I could say was, “But he’s only 19.”

We spent the next three weeks in intensive care riding the rollercoaster between hope and despair. Every doctor and nurse we spoke to had their own perspective; some were warm and caring, and wishing for a miraculous outcome, while others were direct and pragmatic, not wanting to provide false hope. Once Ryan was bought out of the induced coma, it was clear he had a hypoxic brain injury, caused by the respiratory arrest that Saturday night in emergency. The lack of oxygen in his blood had starved his brain and caused permanent damage. The next step was to move Ryan to a general ward, and he was moved to another hospital on the Saturday. Ryan’s condition became very unstable and on Monday morning I got the call to say they weren’t sure if he would survive, and to call everyone together to say goodbye. The specialist asked to have a private meeting with me – he said it was only a matter of weeks before Ryan died. The next morning we got the call to say Ryan had passed away. The last thing, as a parent, you expect to do is bury your child. They’re meant to outlive us. The one thing that kept me going was Bryce. He was my reason for living, he needed me, he was devastated. I wanted to just curl up and fade away. I would wake up every morning and remember the nightmare I was living. I survived by having a routine – getting up, showering and putting on clean clothes, getting Bryce to school, making sure he ate, doing the bookwork for my business. Apart from that, I spent a lot of time crying, and ate cake and chocolate to dull the pain.

Defining moments

In hindsight, I realise I made two very important decisions early on – I would not play the victim and I would not take on the identity of a mother who had lost a child. Instead I went looking for hope. My hope was that one day I would be living a life that honoured both my children. Apart from the support and love of Glenn, my family and friends, there are two people to whom I am truly grateful. The first is my friend Michelle Davis, who lost her two sons in a car accident a couple

of years before Ryan’s death. She helped to normalise my experience and we have formed a great friendship that goes beyond our shared experience of loss. The second is a woman who came into my business, a women’s fitness facility. She had many physical and psychological health issues and said it all started when her son died. When I said gently, “I too have lost a son,” her expression changed and she asked how long ago. After I told her it had been eight months, she told me it had been 11 years since her son died. This was a turning point because I knew I could not live with that deep well of sadness for the next 40 years.

The future

Rebuilding my life has been a gradual process. In the beginning I felt deep grief almost constantly; however, after a while there were good moments, then a good day, and then eventually I experienced more good days than sad days. It’s been five and a half years since Ryan died. I now see living my life to the full as a way to honour both my sons and to leave a legacy big enough for two. I know many families struggle to stick together after the loss of a child, and I am grateful to Glenn, who loved me unconditionally throughout the toughest time of my life, when I had little to contribute to our relationship. My life today is full and meaningful. I have a wonderful relationship with Bryce, who is now 21, Alice has grown into a beautiful young woman, Glenn and I survived the test of loss, and I am again running my own business. I look to the future with hope and excitement. I have become involved with the Asthma Foundation NSW and am proud to support them as an ambassador. It gives me an opportunity to spread the message of the serious nature of asthma, help raise much-needed funds, and to create a legacy in memory of Ryan.

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Stop parenting

life | Feature

– startcoaching!

Parenting and coaching are two very distinct skill sets, but as Terry Hawkins explains, they are both necessary to raise healthy, self-aware children.

let them find their own answers, which can be challenging for many parents. Socrates said, “I am so far like the midwife that I cannot myself give birth to wisdom… I can myself bring nothing to light because there is no wisdom in me… It is clear that they have never learned anything from me. The many admirable truths they bring to birth have been discovered by themselves from within.” So as a coach, we help them find the answer, we don’t give it to them. It’s a process of discovery.

GROWing up

When parenting, we experience a lot of emotion; we parent based on how we’re feeling and how we feel about our children at that point. Coaching has a specific strategy, a process that guides through discussion. When we parent, we also bring our own stuff to the table; emotions from our childhood and how we’ve been parented. It happened to me. My son was struggling with a couple of school subjects and I went into parent mode because I got frustrated. “Here we go again. It’s the same conversation. What are you going to do to get a different result?” The anxiety comes up in us as a parent because we want to save, to rescue, to make it better. I decided to switch and be a coach, so my whole tone changed. I pretended he wasn’t my son and I thought, “If I was coaching someone at work, how would I go about this?” I sat down and showed him the GROW model, a strategy that has been around for years. (Max Landsberg describes GROW in his book The Tao of Coaching.) GROW stands for Goals, Reality, Options and Way forward. The central issue was 123rf

ow often do we inhibit our children’s learning because we confuse when to parent and when to coach? Our job is not to stop our children from hurting; it’s to help them be resilient and teach them

how to manage the painful moments in life. A friend of mine had given her son my children’s books, containing stories about Stickman and Pitman, helping children through tough topics in life. The eight-year-old related to the books, and they helped in discussions with his mum. One day, he said, “Mum, I think I’m being a Pitman today.” She replied, slightly panicked, “Oh no, I hope you’re not going to be for too long. I hope Stickman comes out soon.” This is an example of parenting – being in control and not wanting our children to suffer or hurt. If she had her coaching hat on, she would have acknowledged him for noticing his emotions: “Wow, how clever of you to recognise that you’re feeling like Pitman.” The conversation may then have led to, “Where do you think it might have come from?” with a little discussion following. As parents, we comfort, we soothe, we control. We’re disciplinarians. We give advice. As a coach, we

Autumn 2013

Feature | life

my son’s grades. We talked about how he felt; he started getting upset and his real issues came up. He shared his struggle between being popular and what he has to sacrifice to get good grades. Hearing his side was good for both of us, and we discovered his action plan without me dictating steps to him. In the moment, yes, we become highly emotional and reactive, but we should pull back and ask, “What benefit would it be to my child right now if I disconnected from the emotion and became a guide for him?” The way we respond to our children is so important. Sometimes our frustrations and fear taint our words – that isn’t coaching; it’s emotion, which isn’t always the best response for our children.

How can we step back?

Being a coach takes awareness. Someone asked me, “Can you learn to be self-aware, to observe yourself objectively?” I think you can. When we’re stuck in emotion and ego, it becomes a battle. Step back and consider the greatest good, and the best outcome you want. Maybe it’s simply: “I want a happy, well-adjusted child, who’s not going to be too stressed about school and feel like a failure because he’s not doing well in certain subjects. I want him to learn some powerful strategies for life.” I’m no guru with this, and I hate it when parents act like they are. We all do the best we can. I say to my boys, “I’m not perfect at this, either. I’m still practising and learning.” If I let my heat come up and it comes out, I apologise later. My kids even call me on my own game. One of my sons said to me, “Do you really think calling me names is going to help me, Mum?” Put your ego in the bottom drawer and let them be the guru occasionally. I replied, “You’re right. It wouldn’t help me in the same situation, so I’ll pull my head in for a minute.” When we are in a really emotional state, we need to walk away before addressing the subject, so we can take a breath and focus on what we’re going to do next. As a coach, we’re coaching that child to make sure they do what’s right; but

frustrations and so on is through practice. the challenge is also that the parent needs When we force them to keep their feelings to do what’s right. If you’re parenting under control, they learn that they are on emotion instead of coaching, forget only acceptable to us when they don’t it. When you get angry, walk away for a react. Yes, we’ll be tested as parents, but second. Take a deep breath, then parentthe greatest coaching we can do is to help coach. This also gives our children a better our kids understand their feelings, not lock example of how to react. How often do we them away. That’s how they feel safe in our get mad at our children for reacting in a homes – when they have all their emotions way they actually learned from us? without fear of shut down. The important Understanding the psyche of a child word there is ‘safe’. also helps a great I’ve let my boys get deal; realising that they’re not sitting As parents, we’re angry with me. If can be angry there as a twodisciplinarians. We give they in front of me, we year-old saying, “I advice. As a coach, can talk through think I’ll test the boundaries ,” but we let them find their it; then it’s a safe place for them to they are probably own answers express themselves. exploring their They learn how feelings. Everything to recognise their emotions and how to is new for them, so they express new operate in the world. I’d rather them feelings through so-called tantrums. practise on me, than feel fearful of being I’ll never forget when Harison, who who they really are. was three at the time, had a tantrum, One of my journeys was learning how and his dad and I decided, “We’ll throw to manage my anger after being raised in ourselves on the floor with him.” Harison a violent family. I have raised my voice, I was on the floor screaming, “Aaahhhh!” have said things that were not appropriate, The two of us were on the rug, hitting the but I have also accepted responsibility for floor with him, “ Aaahhhh!” He stopped, my actions and this is a far more powerful looked at us, shook his head and walked teaching than trying to be perfect. A child off. learns from an imperfect parent, not a When it’s not about you, you can play perfect one. We teach each other. the game; but we have a tendency to make Look for opportunities to praise yourself it about us as parents. When our kids get and your children – all they really want is to bad grades, they are doing it to us, instead know that you adore them and think they of thinking, “Hang on a minute, they’re a are lovable, regardless. Give up the parent separate person from us.” Even though it guilt. It doesn’t serve you or your children. can pain you to spend a lot of money on You’ve done a great job based on what your kids, they’re doing the best they can you know, and with time your children will with what they know as well. agree. I remember someone saying to me, Feeling safe “The older I get, the wiser my parents get!” It’s important to allow our children to learn Never doubt yourself, and if you do, just how to express their emotions, too, rather trust that the wisest part of them will always than feel fearful for expressing them. The hear the wisest part of you. way they learn to manage their anger, Terry Hawkins is an award-winning speaker, entrepreneur, author and founder/CEO of People In Progress Global. Terry’s dynamic, transformational presentation style and her powerful, action-based messages have made her the most in-demand speaker throughout Australia, and she now continues her journey as a resident of the USA. www.terryhawkins.com www.peopleinprogressglobal.com

www.empowermagazine.com.au

life | Feature

The

science of a

happy relationship

years and rather than getting five for d rrie ma en be ve ha rt wa Amy and Ste own architect business and his ed en op ’s He . art ap g ftin dri e closer, they’r ily, rks in interior design. They argue da is working long hours, while she wo he doesn’t help out with the ek, we the ring du ch mu er oth ch don’t see ea eks. Can science really help we six for sex d ha n’t ve ha y the d domestics, an says it can. this floundering couple? John Aiken

ver the past 30 years, relationship researchers such as Dr John Gottman, Dr Sue Johnson, Dr Howard Markman and Dr Harville Hendrix have been examining science-based techniques that can improve relationship satisfaction. And the overall finding is that there’s a number of strategies that can help couples become happier. Not only that, but if you put these techniques into practice on a regular basis, your happy relationship is going to have plenty of spin-offs. For instance, research shows that a satisfying marriage can increase your lifespan and make you less susceptible to disease. With the benefits being clear, the question becomes which techniques do you apply to which types of relationship problems? To make it as simple as possible, I group all the science-based strategies into four categories. Then couples can choose what area they want to work on and apply the techniques. Over time, they become masters in every area, as they make a point of doing little strategies on a daily basis to keep them close and make them happier. The four categories are as follows:

Talking

Connecting

This relates to making time for one another, being physical and taking an interest in each other. It’s all about how often you catch up, ask questions, initiate affection, have sex, and share fun things together. Tip: have a surrender date. Agree on a date night, then one person is given the responsibility to organise everything, while the other surrenders and says “yes”. From arranging the babysitter and booking movie tickets, to ordering off the menu for them and deciding what they should wear. The next week you reverse it and the other person is in charge.

Supporting

This comes down to how much support you give each other. Housework, childrearing, running errands, showing love, sharing decisions, letting go of past resentments, and being able to forgive. Tip: share the domestics. Sit down together and write a list of all the domestics that need to be done weekly. Start dividing this up in a collaborative way, beginning with, “How would you feel about doing…” Then start working as a team.

Dreaming

This relates to your shared vision. Your joint goals, dreams and values, and the way you want to move forward and live together. It also involves how often you take time to

remember your positive couple experiences of the past. Tip: create future couple plans. Take time to think about where you’re headed as a couple in the next 12 months, five years, and 10 years. Consider the areas of marriage, kids, finance, living arrangements, health and fitness, friendships and career. Discuss where you’d both like to be, then start taking steps to get you moving in the right direction. So if you’re in a relationship that’s going south and aren’t sure how to get things back on track, there is hope. Research findings are clear. There are simple science-based tools that can get you back on the same page with your partner and working more as a team. It’s all about doing little things often that prioritises the relationship and makes you both feel respected and special. For more practical strategies, read Making Couples Happy: How Science Can Help Get Relationships Back on Track, by John Aiken, published by Allen & Unwin, RRP $29.99.

John Aiken is a trained clinical psychologist and has worked on TV, radio and for lifestyle magazines. His two previous books are U-Turn: Putting You Back Into Your Relationship and Accidentally Single. He is the resident psychologist on RSVP. www.johnaiken.com.au

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This is all about communication. How you speak to one another, the content of your discussions, your level of appreciation or praise, and your ability to listen and empathise. Tip: express three good things each day. Every day, make a point of focusing on three good things about your partner, then say this to them before you go to bed

to create a culture of appreciation and praise.

Autumn 2013

Check it

Out

The latest products, tools and resources to help you have fun and lead a more empowered life.

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THE BEAUTY TUTOR It’s time to take control of your style! The Beauty Tutor has created a range of personal packages with you in mind. If it’s your wardrobe that needs attention then we can help you with Personal Shopping online or in person or a cathartic Wardrobe Detox. We also have hands on Makeup and Hair Lessons and every package can be for just you, or a group. www.TheBeautyTutor.com

CAREgifts – HELP A WOMAN START A SMALL BUSINESS Help a woman fulfill her dream of earning her own income by providing her with the resources to establish a small business. In the countries CARE works, women are underrepresented in leadership roles and often don’t have the opportunity to share their voice at home and within their community. At CARE, we believe everyone should have the chance to contribute to their future. This CAREgift will help women reach their full potential to lead their communities out of poverty and into prosperity. www.caregifts.org.au

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EMPOWERED JEWELLERY Gifts with meaning! A perfect gift to Empower yourself or someone you love. Empowering Jewellery make sterling silver rings with positive affirmations written on the outside of the ring. Empowerings are worn as a constant daily reminder of what it is that you would like to focus on. By wearing an Empowering, you can be empowered all day every day, just by taking a quick glance down at your hand! We have a range of rings available, all having different meanings. www.empoweringjewellery.com.au

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Qt – SELF EMPOWERMENT CD Do you dismiss or take your achievements for granted? Learn how to accept, appreciate, acknowledge and love yourself in the comfort of your own home or office by listening to the Qt SELF EMPOWERMENT Technique©. This powerful technique is aimed at assisting you to improve your relationship with yourself so that you can achieve far greater personal and professional success. Ideal for busy professionals, business owners and individuals, empower yourself today in only 14 minutes. www.qttransformation.com

www.empowermagazine.com.au

wellbeing | Feature

What’s your diet

personality? In the battle of the bulge, Meggan McCann reveals how the ultimate weapon may not be your body but your mind.

understanding how your brain is wired to make you overeat makes your diet plans futile, according to Amen. The five personality types are: the compulsive overeater, the impulsive overeater, the compulsive-impulsive overeater, the sad overeater, and the anxious overeater. Compare your habits to each type’s symptoms to see which personality fits you best.

Compulsive overeater

Symptoms: Compulsive eaters eat, well, compulsively. For them eating is a game, a careful series of moves throughout the day to ensure maximum eating pleasure. A compulsive eater may try to make tradeoffs in their diet or overanalyse their eating patterns. Food is always on the compulsive eater’s mind, regardless of hunger. Foods to avoid: High-protein diets. Protein improves focus – which compulsive eaters already have plenty of. The higher levels of protein can make a compulsive overeater even more obsessive. Foods to eat: Instead, compulsive overeaters should try healthy carbohydrates. Think fruits, vegetables, whole grains and beans. These foods release serotonin in the brain, which improves

nerve functions and generally makes the body run more smoothly. Complex carbs also help improve the mood of the eater, meaning the task becomes more of a party than a competition. Sample meal: A Mexican black bean salad with tomatoes, lettuce, cilantro and onions. Wash it down with vanilla soy milk and an apple.

Impulsive overeater

Symptoms: An impulsive overeater eats on a whim. The overeating may come out of boredom, but once it starts, it’s difficult to stop. They may wander over to the pantry after a long day’s work to plan a healthy dinner, only to find themselves no closer to a meal a half bag of chips later. Foods to avoid: Impulsive overeaters lack the controlled focus of compulsive overeaters. They should avoid foods high in carbohydrates, because carbs encourage continued eating. Foods to eat: Impulsive overeaters lack concentration, so they should try to centre meals around foods that will increase the amount of focus-enhancing dopamine produced in the brain. Dopamine is not found in food, but there are certain foods that help stimulate its production. Nuts, 123rf

s it possible to think your way thin? Despite spending millions of dollars on diet books, gym memberships, and healthy food, Australian women are still struggling to shed those extra pounds. Now some experts are saying the way to finally make a change is less about pounding the pavement and more about understanding the brain. Any woman who has tried to lose weight knows that half the struggle is mental. The prospect of a piece of cake for a co-worker’s birthday or ordering takeout after a long day can prove too tempting for even the most well-educated dieters. Why do most people consistently make food choices they know are bad for them? Is it a lack of understanding about the food or the body? Neither, some experts say. The mind – often ignored in conversations about obesity – might actually be the most important factor of all. US-based doctor Daniel Amen is one of the proponents of the new focus on the mind. In his book, The Amen Solution: The Brain Healthy Way to Lose Weight and Keep it Off, he divides people into five brain personalities to explain the reasons for overeating. Most people overeat, but not for the same reasons, he says. Not

Autumn 2013

Feature | wellbeing

dairy, soy and meat all help stimulate dopamine production and can increase focus. But because red meat and dairy can clog the arteries, stick with fish and chicken for the best results. Sample meal: White fish with lemon, a side of low-fat cottage cheese with pepper, and steamed broccoli with garlic. Drink water or low-fat milk.

Compulsive-impulsive overeater

challenge themselves to see how many times they can walk from the couch to the kitchen during the commercial break. During the next commercial break, they should try to up that score. Better yet, instead of watching TV, if they find thoughts of food creeping into their mind, they should stroll out the front door and go on a brisk walk to burn off their extra obsessive energy. At meals, compulsiveobsessive overeaters should aim for a well-balanced, satisfying plate to help ward off cravings. Drinking water throughout the day is also recommended, because it can satisfy the oral fixation of eating and help fill up the stomach. Sample meal: Baked chicken breast with a side salad of spinach, tomatoes, olives, feta cheese, olive oil and balsamic vinaigrette. A whole grain roll or brown rice provides the meal’s foundation, and dessert is a fruit of choice. Water is the best beverage because this meal is slightly higher in calories than other options.

Symptoms: Compulsive-impulsive overeaters have the worst of both worlds. They spend hours on end obsessing over food like compulsive overeaters, and find themselves unable to fend off cravings like impulsive eaters. The compulsive-impulsive overeater might spend the entire hour of their favourite TV show fantasising about the unopened cookies in the cabinet, promising themselves they will only eat one, then give in to a binge during the last commercial break. Foods to avoid: Compulsive-impulsive Sad overeater overeaters can turn almost any situation Symptoms: The sad overeater is also into an opportunity for a feast, meaning known as the emotional eater, a term any food can turn into a sensory weapon common wherever diet advice is sounded. at a moment’s notice. Sugary snacks, chips The sad overeater turns to food as a source and crackers are the most dangerous foods of comfort. It’s more than the cliché of a for the compulsive-impulsive overeater, sobbing woman eating ice cream out of because they can be eaten quickly, the tub with mascara running down her mindlessly and are jam-packed with face after a breakup calories. Foods to eat: If Not understanding – the sad eater eats to comfort a whole the compulsivehow your brain is wired host of negative impulsive overeater finds themselves on to make you overeat emotions. Work an argument a craving rampage, makes your diet plans stress, with a relative, or it’s best to reach for futile a messy home can something crunchy all cause emotional and very low in calories, such as celery. However, Dr Amen eating. Even frustration over weight and body issues can cause sad overeating, recommends a different strategy for this type of overeater, because healthy foods are leading to a perpetual cycle of depression and overeating. unlikely to satisfy. Instead, he recommends Foods to avoid: Sad overeaters tend to channelling excessive energy and cravings indulge in junk food, because they are more into exercise. Like a compulsive overeater, focused on their negative emotions than the compulsive-impulsive is still sucked into what is going into their mouths. Junk food the challenge of a game, yet lacks control. doesn’t need to be prepared; just twist the Instead of spending the commercial break top, rip the bag, or open the box for a fast obsessing over the cookies in the cabinet, taste of comfort. Sad overeaters shouldn’t the compulsive-impulsive overeater should

keep junk food in the house, because it’s nothing more than a ticking time bomb. It takes more commitment to drive to the store or drive-through to get a fix than to walk to the kitchen, and most sad overeaters won’t be up for it. Foods to eat: Omega-3 fatty acids help calm the body, so foods high in it should top the sad eater’s grocery list. Nuts, fish and whole grains are all high in Omega-3, so if a sad overeater finds themselves reaching around for something to eat, a handful of nuts is better than a tube of crackers. Sample meal: Pan-fried salmon with sesame oil and soy sauce, with wild rice and raw salted avocado on the side. Drink unsweetened green tea or water.

Anxious overeater

Symptoms: Anxious overeaters selfmedicate with mild mood-enhancers such as caffeine and sugar. An anxious overeater may need a cup of coffee or three to make it to an important deadline, or gnaw on a chocolate bar while their mind races through every angle of a problem they are having with a friend. The anxious overeater is more focused on what they are eating than the sad overeater, and seeks out foods they believe will give them an edge or help alter their mood. Foods to avoid: Caffeine and sugar. These foods are both notorious for their ability to give a quick high followed by a crash, leaving the anxious overeater even more anxious than before. This leads to a cycle of anxious overeating. Foods to eat: The amino acid glutamine has been shown to decrease anxiety. Foods high in glutamine include nuts, poultry, dairy and vegetables such as broccoli and spinach. Sample meal: Spinach and lettuce chicken wrap with tomatoes and Parmesan cheese. Serve with a cup of vegetable soup and drink lots of water. Identifying which brain personality type you belong to leads to an understanding of how the foods you eat affect your mood, which in turn affects the way you eat, which will help you in your fight against fat.

www.empowermagazine.com.au

wellbeing | Feature

Midlife

madness

The menopause is often viewed with dread, but Narelle Stegehuis suggests we should embrace this time of change and use it to transform our lives for the better.

Moving on

Midlife years are a time to take stock. Taking a fresh look at your relationships, profession and the way you expend your energy should become a priority. It’s time to put your best foot forward and move onwards. Ask yourself whether you are moving in the direction you want, professionally and personally, and whether the time you’re spending is meaningful to you. With a greater independence as your career becomes more established and the children have grown up, it’s time to take

more care of yourself. Start with routine health checks and investigate those niggling health problems. It’s not unusual for women to feel tired and burnt-out after years of balancing the commitments of family with finances and career. This is why it is one of the best times to embrace new directions, inviting new opportunities and capitalising on the wealth of past life experiences. However, if life has left you feeling worse for wear, it’s time to invest in your health and look beyond the label of menopause. For example, in many cases, menopausal symptoms can become confused with autoimmune disorders triggered by birth, giving up smoking or past infections. Such disorders are the number one cause of fatigue and mood changes among middle-aged women. Poor thyroid function or nutritional deficiencies are also often over-looked. Investigating general symptoms such as fatigue, memory loss and weight gain should become a priority.

Go for it!

This new-found inner love is one of the reasons why postmenopausal women find a new level of empowerment. After 50 years of life experience, including the ups and downs of relationships, child-rearing and careers, women are more likely to go after what they want with greater confidence. Make this time of your life the best time. Start by putting aside time to exercise and improve your diet. Once you begin to feel on top of your health, it may be time to take some risks. Stop holding back, because the party starts now. Is it time to switch career and turn a hobby into a business? Are you ready to try online dating or other adventurous pursuits, such as hiking or sailing? Is it time to join

that acting group to meet a new creative bunch of people? It’s challenging to step outside your safety zone but remember – you have wisdom on your side. If there’s something you’ve been putting on hold, there’s no time like the present to taste what life has to offer. So although midlife change is often seen as a rocky road to poor health and lower self-esteem, with the right advice, and targeted natural support, you can turn your health around and make this the healthiest time of your life. Top five symptoms of underlying health concerns • Fatigue • Pain • Recurrent UTIs • Immune changes • Weight gain

Top five hormonal symptoms during menopause • Mood swings • Chronic insomnia • Irregular periods • Hot flushes • Night sweats

Narelle Stegehuis is a medical herbalist and naturopath specialising in restorative endocrinology for women, with over 14 years’ clinical experience. She is a writer, editor and technical training advisor for the media. A recipient of the Australian Naturopathic Excellence Award, Narelle adopts an integrated approach to medical science and complementary healthcare. www.massattack.com.au

Facebook Fan Choice: Congratulations Janet!

Autumn 2013

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re you suffering from midlife madness? For many women, turning 40 is the first stage of feeling as though life is a little out of control. However, as ‘the change’ approaches, the correct lifestyle, natural support and attitude can make it a period of empowerment and personal growth. In Australia, the average age for menopause is between 45 and 50, however many women experience an onset of symptoms earlier, due to stress, genetic disorders, surgery or illness. For many, as hormonal changes kick in, so does lowered fertility, and this alone can be challenging, especially when coupled with low libido and vaginal dryness. However, the upside is a sense of freedom, because the end of fertility means no more birth control or dealing with periods. Although the list of menopausal symptoms is long and disheartening, menopause can have a positive impact. For one thing, not all physical changes caused by reduced female hormone levels are negative, and many of the emotional and social changes can be energising.

GreatReads

Enjoy some time out for yourself with these new inspiring and motivational books. Life

Making Couples Happy

By John Aiken and Alison Leigh, Allen & Unwin, $29.99

This book is a must read for anyone in a relationship. With straight to the point, clear and no-nonsense solutions, Making Couples Happy follows the transformation of four couples in crisis. From issues of poor communication, work life balance, lack of time together, to affairs, problem-parenting styles and lack of sex – this book contains practical tools that will greatly improve any relationship. All techniques provided to the couples are laid out in a practical four-step approach that targets the following key relationship areas: talking, supporting, connecting and dreaming. Take control of your life and implement the changes you need to ensure you have the relationship you deserve.

You

Simplify Structure Succeed

By Shannah Kennedy, The Messenger Group, $39.95

You may be a CEO, a creative artist, an entrepreneur or a company executive, but while this is what you do, it is not who you are. Who are you without your job, partner, career, home, car, hobbies, kids and family? What is at your core? Simplify Structure Succeed is designed to help people establish a healthy, balanced and successful life. This step-by-step guide will help you create a simple snapshot of your life and establish a structured path to support your vision and values. You are provided with practical tools, tips, templates and case studies that help you define and align your values with your actions.

You

Why Wait to be Great? It’s Either Now or Too Late

Finance

Get Rich Slow

By Terry Hawkins, Berrett-Koehler, $19.95

What if we got it wrong? What if we are not broken, we don’t need fixing and we are not dysfunctional? What if everything that happens in our life is actually part of the great mystery, called YOU? In this book, Terry reveals the top five reasons why it’s either NOW or TOO LATE and explains how to use the difficulties in life as a source of growth, break free from old patterns and replace them with new ones.

By Sarah Riegelhuth, Wiley & Sons, $29.95

In Get Rich Slow Sarah Riegelhuth cuts through the financial jargon and explains in practical terms how you can achieve real wealth creation, no matter how little you start with. Feel confident and inspired to: take responsibility for your own finances and rid yourself of limiting beliefs about money, move out of debt and into wealth creation, better understand what drives your financial behaviour and set realistic goals to create financial freedom for the future. By starting now and starting small you can achieve the perfect balance between enjoying your current lifestyle and creating financial freedom for the future.

Wellbeing

The Total Food Allergy Health and Diet Guide

By Alexandra Anca with Dr Gordon L Sussman, Exisle Publishing, $24.99

Food allergies are all too common these days; we are all likely to know someone who has an allergy or intolerance. They affect both children and adults and the effect can range from a skin reaction to anaphylactic shock. The Total Food Allergy Health and Diet Guide includes easy to understand information, practical advice and answers to frequently asked questions about living with food allergies and intolerances. There are also tips on planning an allergen free diet with delicious and nutritionally sound recipes included. Food allergies can be a lifelong challenge, but by understanding what causes them and how they develop, you can avoid threats to your wellbeing and achieve good health.

www.empowermagazine.com.au

fitness | Feature

core

Get to the

nda Preece There’s no need to shell out on expensive chiropractors. Ama and prevent has some simple tips to help you increase your core strength back pain.

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any people experience can do every day, all day, and no matter this posture, and it may take time to get into some sort of back pain, where you are. Stand up straight, gently the habit of doing it. and general aches and pull your shoulders back and down, keep If you are put off by the fact that pains in the upper body. your head in line with your shoulders, achieving results in your body takes time, Unfortunately, most sufferers turn to focus on gently drawing your belly button just remember that whether it takes you a western medicine to ease that pain. What into your spine, and then drawing it up week, a month or even a year, that time will you may not realise is that preventing toward your chest. pass – it’s up to you what you achieve over and eradicating back pain can be done Another great trick to use to assist you that period. naturally, free of charge, and without in maintaining proper posture is to imagine Try for yourself having to take prescription drugs. The (as gruesome as it may sound) a long, Here is a simple and effective exercise beauty of preventing back pain naturally straight rod, inserted at the base of your to teach you how it feels to engage your is that you are doing what your body is spine, leading directly up your spine and core. This exercise is called a plank. designed to do. Not only will your wallet be coming out through the top of your head. Begin on your elbow and knees, heavier, but your Keeping this visual mind, body and image will serve to locking your fingers together, while The simplest way to spirit will thank keep everything in facing the floor. Straighten your legs and strengthen the core is you for it, too. its correct position. raise your body up off the floor so that you are in one straight line. You will be While there By following this something you can do on the balls of your feet. Imagine yourself are numerous process, you will every day, all day, and no notice yourself in one straight line from the top of your factors why head to the balls of your feet. Try not to someone might automatically matter where you are arch your back or raise your bottom in experience back standing up the air. Keep imaging one straight line. pain, having weak core muscles increases straight, and realise how good it feels. Hold the plank for as long as you can. your risk of getting a sore back, and in some At first, doing this may be tricky and Remember to keep that core engaged. cases can do permanent damage to your you will have to put in some effort. You Start off holding it for five seconds and back and spine. Bad posture also creates may even feel a little discomfort, but then work your way up to one minute or muscular imbalances, which can lead to everyone needs to start somewhere. Not headaches. only should this be performed while you are more. It really is that easy, Looking after standing and walking, but also while sitting Core issues your body doesn’t have to mean doing at your desk. The most important thing to The core includes a large number of 100 crunches a day or spending hours in remember is that if you’ve never tried this muscles. They work together to get a the gym. It is the little things you do that before, you may need to put some effort specific job done – to provide posture and can make a huge difference. into constantly focussing on maintaining support for your body – so it is important Amanda Preece is an experienced personal trainer and yoga teacher. After losing 20 to keep these muscles strong. Most people kilos on her own, she now specialises in helping women overcome emotional eating. with weak core muscles have terrible Recently, Amanda worked with the radio station 612 ABC Brisbane, when it participated posture and may eventually form a hunch. in a weight-loss challenge, and led her team to victory. The most effective and simplest way http://aphealthandfitness.com to strengthen the core is something you

Autumn 2013

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finance | Mindset

How much is

enough Most of us believe we need more money, but Neil Jenman thinks that, with planning, you can live life to the full with far less.

et me tell you about my friend Francesca. She’s 73 but doesn’t look a day over 60. She’s looked after herself. But not just physically; Fran has also looked after herself financially. From her daily 5km walk, to her weekly Skype call to her daughter in London, Fran’s life is under control. But don’t think that what might seem a regimented life is devoid of fun – on the contrary. Fran lives a great life. Let me tell you how she does it, at least financially. She has $700,000 in the bank. Last year, she had $800,000. Next year, she will have $600,000. She is spending $100,000 a year. Deliberately and methodically. She goes to the theatre. She dines out. She entertains. She travels. And everything is done in style.

A plan for life

Add it up

When trying to work out how much money we need, there are two ways to go about it. First, we can do what Fran did – look at what we’ve got and figure out how we can make our spending fit our wealth. Or we can figure out how much we want to spend, then earn the money we need. There is a doctrine in finance called the Doctrine of Enough. Most of us know our ‘enough’ figures in most areas. When we eat a meal, we know when we’ve had enough. When we fill our cars with petrol, the pump clicks off when we’ve got enough. But almost none of us sits down

and works out how much money is going to be enough. Why not? You should discover your Doctrine of Enough. You’ll probably be pleasantly surprised to discover that it’s not nearly as much as you may have thought. So, work out what you want. Then – and here’s the tricky part – try to work out how long you are going to live; overestimate, because there would be nothing worse than ending up old and broke. If you own your own home, you’d be surprised how little you need. Another friend, Robin, is about to retire. He owns his home and has built a granny flat in his garden, which will give him $400 a week for the rest of his life. So grab your pencil and start calculating your Doctrine of Enough. It’s one of the most important pieces of information you can ever have. But what about Fran? What if she runs out of money and dies broke? Well, wouldn’t that be perfect timing? Neil Jenman has been involved in the real estate industry since 1973, where he has been a strong campaigner for ethics and consumer rights. He has an ethics accreditation programme for estate agents, known as Jenman APPROVED. He has recently published his fourth book, Success Takes Character. neilj@jenman.com.au 123rf

Fran’s husband died in 2008 when Fran was 68. Their wealth was just over $2,000,000. They had been married for 40 years. Fran was devastated. They had one daughter who had carved out a successful career in London. Fran was alone. One day she had an epiphany. She knew her husband would not want her to spend the rest of her life moping around, so she decided to live to the fullest. She came up with a plan. She would sell the family home, buy an apartment and do all the things she had loved doing, living life to

the max. Fran worked out that she could spend $100,000 a year, which would allow her to live a fabulous life. Her daughter is financially independent and doesn’t want an inheritance. “Mum, you spend it,” she said. By the time she is 80, Fran will have spent all her cash. But she owns her apartment; she paid $900,000 (cash) for it in 2010. At 80, Fran will sell her apartment. If she only gets what she paid for it, she’ll get $900,000. That’ll give her another nine years of living expenses. And that’s assuming that she continues to spend at her present rate. If ever the day comes when Fran finds herself with no money, she says she might have to ask the government for a pension. My friend Fran has a plan. She’s got her life worked out. Beautifully.

Autumn 2013

Trading | finance

The share

market journey Today’s financial market can be a confusing place. Dale Gilham helps you read the signs ahead as you travel through it.

e’ve all been on a car trip when someone asks, “Are we there yet?” While the share market isn’t a car, it has been on a long downward journey, followed by a protracted sideways move. This move seemed like an eternity of going nowhere, which has seen emotions run hot and had investors wondering whether the market has bottomed, and whether the good times would ever return. When taking a car trip, we have a map, road signs, and predictable situations where someone needs to go to the toilet. So, too, the share market gives us a map, road signs and predictable events. These maps, signs and events become evident in the study of market cycles – and, yes, they can tell us if we are actually there or whether we have further to go.

What goes around…

While we won’t go into these three areas now, they are all important, and the best traders are experts in all three. Studies by Russian economist Nikolai Kondratiev (or Kondratieff) show the existence of economic cycles. He said, “Averaging 50 and ranging from approximately 40 to 60 years in length, the cycles consist of alternating periods between high sectoral growth and periods of relatively slow growth.”

Driving forces

The unfolding of economic cycles affects the movement of all markets, and going back to our look at the Australian share market between 1875 and 2011, you can see the approximate 40-year cycles, or Kondratiev waves. Cycles, like driving to work, can come in early or late, depending on the current economic climate and when governments try to stimulate or slow economies. So has the Australian share market bottomed? Well, we can’t confirm with 100 per cent accuracy that 2009 was the longterm low. But we can assume that there is a reasonable probability that it may be – though we won’t really know until a new all-time high has occurred. Given this, when investing in the share market, you should be aware that there is a possibility of a double dip, and if this occurs, you will need to act quickly. Dale Gilham is the chief analyst and co-founder of Wealth Within, a share education and investment company, and the author of How to Beat the Managed Funds by 20 Per Cent. For more information, visit his website at www. wealthwithin.com.au.

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Cycles are caused by predictable human behaviour in the way we react to circumstances. When something happens, like a traffic light turning red, we react by applying the brake and stopping our car. Behaviour is sometimes programmed into us to react to a circumstance, like stopping at a red light. Likewise, how we react when subjected to fear or greed is hardwired into our DNA. Human behaviour is predictable, because we are all creatures of habit. If someone followed you for two weeks, noting what you do and where you go, they could fairly accurately

predict what you were going to do and where you were going to be in the future. The share market is no different because, en masse, investors generally act as they’ve always done. Market cycles are a highly technical area, so we will keep the explanation simple. Share market cycles can run for centuries down to minutes within a day. Between 1875 and October 2011, the Australian share market experienced several major cycles, approximately 40 years in length. The first cycle started after a five-year bear market from 1888 to 1893, and ran for 37 years until the great crash of 1929, with the eventual low in 1931. The second cycle unfolded over 43 years, from the low in 1931 until 1974. The last cycle – the one we are attempting to determine has completed – has run for 35 years, from the low in 1974 until our current lowest point in March 2009. Given the severity of the fall in 2009, it is reasonable to assume the low has arrived. However, we can’t just measure time to formulate our conclusion. To determine how a cycle is unfolding and whether a cycle has finished, we must use all the information we have, including price, pattern and time.

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finance | Property

THE

property Ever wondered when would be the best time to get into the property market? Phil Anderson explains how property cycles work and how to exploit them.

Telling the time

Chances are, you have heard of the property clock before as a way of referring to various stages of the property market, with 12 o’clock being the top of a property cycle (when prices are high and the market is booming), and 6 o’clock being the bottom of the cycle (when prices have

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erhaps you’ve heard that wellworn expression, “It’s not about timing the market, but rather time in the market.” It’s usually said by people wanting to sell you a property at a price that is difficult to justify in today’s economy, so they draw your attention to what it will be worth in 10, 20 or even 30 years’ time, as a way of making the pain of the price a little more bearable. Don’t get me wrong – I love the buy and hold property strategy. It’s how I made my money, after all. And I have certainly bought investment properties at prices others thought were crazy – until a few months later when the market boomed and they were left scrambling to buy properties for way more than I’d paid. But it’s not an either/or situation when it comes to market timing and time in the market. They are both important.

There’s no point holding a property for a dozen or more years, slogging it out to meet the mortgage payments, dealing with tenants and repairs, maintenance and insurance, and tying up your valuable equity, if it’s not going to go to work for you, increasing in value and growing your wealth. Your properties need to go to work for you. Think of each of them as your employee and, as you would if you were a business owner hiring an employee, look for the very best candidates possible. So how do you know when is the best time to buy? It’s crucial to know about the property clock.

stagnated or even dropped and the market is in the doldrums). Every market in Australia has a property clock. Markets such as Sydney, Brisbane and Melbourne have dozens of individual clocks within them, and each follows its own cycle. Successful property investing is a matter of watching them and tapping into these cycles just at the right stage of the property clock. Here’s a common mistake people make with a 6 o’clock market. A lot of people look at a 6 o’clock stage in the property market and think that it’s a great time to buy because they feel the market isn’t going to go down further. Sure, that may be the case, but that’s not actually enough of a reason to buy. While 6 o’clock might mean property prices are at their lowest, the reason you shouldn’t buy then is because you don’t know how long it’s going to take for that property to get to a 7 o’clock market. It could take months or years (for example, some property clocks in NSW have been at 6 o’clock for as long as six or seven years in recent times). That’s months or even years when you could be making money with a property in another market that’s growing in value at a 7 o’clock stage in the cycle instead. Because none of us has a crystal ball and we want to make sure a market has definitely bottomed out before we start investing there, you should wait for every property market to click over to 7 o’clock before buying. This tells you prices are

Autumn 2013

Property | finance

clock set to pick up. (Bear in mind you should have been carefully watching this market for other evidence of price drivers that will start the upturn again, such as rising rents, dropping vacancy rates, infrastructure investment and so on.) At 7 o’clock, that’s when the market turnaround really begins. And that’s when you should secure deals and buy below market price – 7 o’clock is the best time to get into the property market. At 8 o’clock, there’s a little bit of a rise in confidence and it’s still a pretty good buying time, but prices haven’t gained a lot of momentum yet.

Time to stop

At 9 o’clock, B-grade investors are just starting to gain some confidence and are beginning to feel comfortable getting back into the market. This is when you should start to ease back and stop buying in a particular area, having already had the best buying period between 7 o’clock and 9 o’clock. 9 o’clock is also a time when developers are no longer as motivated to do the kinds of deals they were doing six months ago. So, it starts to get harder to get the highly lucrative deal inclusions, such as delayed settlements, $1 deposits and free air conditioning, blinds and awnings that you were able to get at 7 and 8 o’clock. So, for A-grade investors, it’s time to move on and start buying in another 7 o’clock market elsewhere for more leverage and growth. At 10 o’clock, B-grade investors are in full flight. Even the C-grade investors are starting to talk about buying. There’s a lot of positive talk going on. By then, however, you should be out and looking at other markets. You should also be getting your

While Darwin is at 7 o’clock, it has already own properties in this market revalued, so enjoyed a long cycle that finished only you can start using the growth in equity to around two years ago, so this next growth fund other purchases. cycle is likely to be much shorter and will At 11 o’clock, these markets are all not offer the same kind of percentage over the magazines, described as the boom price growth increase we saw in the earlier suburbs and making the ‘hot spot’ lists. property clock cycle. Even your taxi driver is probably giving Brisbane is also turning and it needs to. you a hot tip, and it’s likely to be the It has been having it tough with the floods, conversation of many a backyard barbie. the tourism dollar and cyclones in the And by 12 o’clock, people are north. The turnaround is going to be a little probably paying far too much slower but it will really turn towards the end for property. There are usually of the year. 40 or 50 people bidding at So, what are the drivers that create auctions. There’s such a frenzy a 7 o’clock market? The things you need that they’re all trying to outbid to look out for when picking a market to each other and in the process invest in are: infrastructure changes, such as pushing property prices 10 to15 major road and transport upgrades, capital per cent above the market value. works spending and This is also so on; growth of when the A-grade You should wait development and investors make for every property employment; and a large leap in the values of the market to click over major demographic shifts (such as the properties they to 7 o’clock before big shifts about to bought in these occur as the first of markets, when the buying the Baby Boomers property clock was start to reach retirement age and look at 7 o’clock, and they can now use that to downsize and move to more regional equity growth to trigger further purchases in other 7 o’clock markets elsewhere. In this centres that are ideal for retirement). By understanding the property clock way, they grow their portfolios much faster and where various markets currently are on than other B and C-grade investors, who the clock, it is possible to turn one property are now stuck with property that has to go into three properties within the first five the full way around from 12 o’clock to 7 years. And I know, because I do this on a o’clock before they will see any growth in regular basis, and it’s been the cornerstone their assets. of my wealth creation. Time zones So remember, watch out for 7 Which cities are in a favourable part of o’clock markets. If prices are already in the cycle right now? At the time of writing, a frenzy, it’s more than likely that you Sydney is definitely experiencing a turning are already too late for that particular of the tide, and so are some regional centres market. And don’t forget to treat all your in Australia, especially some of the big hubs. properties like employees and learn how In Perth, the tide is turning in a big to put them to work for you, not the way. Darwin is definitely in the good books, other way around. as well, and is in a second phase turn.

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Phil Anderson is known as the Lunch Money Property Millionaire because he grew a multi-million dollar property portfolio, retiring in his 30s, even though he only earned an average income. Click here to claim free tickets to see Phil live at his upcoming training (tickets valued $147 and yours free for a limited time).

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Change your life in 15 minutes

Revitayoliusre

p i h s n o i t a l e R How often do you really listen to the people you love? Vanessa Westwell shows you how to revitalise your relationships with a 15 minute task.

or worries. You do not have to n this task there are two be funny or interesting. As well roles - the Speaker and as speaking, you may sit quietly the Listener. When you and at times you may even want are the Speaker, you can to cry or get angry. Feel safe to do speak without interruption about and say whatever is right for you. anything you want to. When you You do not need your partner to are the Listener, you listen to the offer sympathy, helpful advice or Speaker and say nothing. solutions to any of the problems To start, find somewhere you may be facing. You just need quiet where you won’t be to feel their loving attention. disturbed. Sit directly opposite Once the timer goes off, your partner and hold their hands stop straight away, even if it in yours. Your knees will be close is mid-sentence. Immediately to theirs and you will be making swap roles. Turn the timer on full eye contact. Set a timer for again for another two minutes. two minutes. The Speaker now becomes the When you are the Listener, Listener. your job is to concentrate on Keep taking equal turns until gy sending loving, supportive ener have said everything you you to the Speaker. To do this you will needed to say, you feel you have need to clear your mind of your been heard and are ready to own problems so you can listen move on and let the worries of the fully to what they are saying. You day fall away. do not need to nod or encourage When you have finished the Speaker. Just keep giving the task, thank your partner them warm, loving eye contact, for listening then stop and do even if they do not look at you something else. at all. In just 15 minutes, once a When you are the Speaker, day, this deceptively simple task you can say whatever you want to will change your life for the better. in order to offload your emotions

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UK Life Coach. Her new Vanessa Westwell is an experienced ly in your mind, body, heart light live book “Travelling light - how to to change your life for the and soul” is full of great ideas on how avellinglight.co today. better. Order your copy from www.tr

Autumn 2013

coaching toolkit

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Coach yourself to success

AUTUMN 2013 www.empowermagazine.com.au

live your Best life week 1

Set Your Goals

Areas of Your Life

Date:

Welcome to your first coaching session and congratulations for taking the first step to improving your life. In this first session you will be setting two inspiring goals for different areas of your life. Using the coaching models provided, complete the following exercises.

Where are you now?

On the chart, rate yourself on a scale of 0 - 10 in relation to where you feel you are at in each area of your life right now. Then, draw a line around the chart, joining the dots where you have marked your rating in each area. partner 10

family

eg.

3 4 wellbeing

finances

A ‘10’ means you consider that area is perfect and a ‘0’ means major improvement is needed.

social

PARTNER Think about this area in the context of whether you’re single or in a relationship. If you’re in a relationship, it refers to how you feel about your life with your partner. Is your relationship what you want it to be? If you’re single, think about your level of satisfaction with being single. Some people would love a committed relationship and others are content as they are. How do 6 you feel?

family This area refers to how you 5 feel about your relationships with family members. The rating you give this area should be an average for all family 2 relationships. While some will be strong, others may not be so good.

wellbeing

business/career

Where do you want to be?

spirituality

Next, give yourself a rating in relation to where you want to be in each area of your life in the next 1 - 2 months. Again, use a scale of 0 - 10 and draw a line around the chart, joining the dots where you have marked your rating in each area. Don’t be afraid to dream a little but consider what you can realistically achieve in that time. There’s no need to aim for a perfect 10 in any or every area. partner 10

family

self

Imagine your life with these results

social Similarly, this area refers to how you feel about your relationships 4 with friends and your satisfaction with your level of social/fun activity. Again, provide an average rating of your relationships and social activity. WELLBEING This is your overall sense of wellbeing and how you feel about your health & fitness. SPIRITUALITY If you’re a spiritual or religious person, this area refers to your level of connectedness with your beliefs. If you’re not spiritual or religious, think about your level of contentment with life in general.

eg.

BUSINESS/CAREER This area considers 7 the level of success and/or fulfilment5 you feel in relation to your business, career or current employment.

finances

social

FINANCES This final area refers to how you feel about your level of financial freedom and/or your progression2 3 towards your desired level of financial freedom.

wellbeing

business/career 10

spirituality Autumn 2013

SELF This is your relationship with yourself. Consider how much love, appreciation, acceptance and respect you have for yourself.

eg.

social

family

self

Use this goal-setting tool over the next three months to achieve your goals and improve your life. Set the dates for your coaching sessions and let’s get started.

Creating your goal Now it’s time to create your goals. To begin with, choose one area of your life that you would like to improve. Say it’s ‘Partner’ and you want to go from a rating of 4 to 8. Using the goal template over the page, create a written goal outlining what that new rating means to you - perhaps it’s about finding a soulmate or re-connecting with your husband.

Every goal that you write should be an empower goal. Think about the empower principles as you go through the process

It is the 31 Wellbeing feel so happ st Ju ly 2013 and I I have achiey and proud of what my goal weigved. I have reached look fantast ht of 60kgs and I and have so ic. I am fit, healthy Now I can much more energy. black dress fit into that sexy and I feel fa bulous.

Write your goal in the present tense, as if you’ve already achieved it. Make it meaningful, including some strong emotions, and make sure your goal is inspiring to you. Use only positive words and be specific – focus on what you do want instead of what you don’t want. Be a little realistic (but not too much) about what you can achieve in the timeframe chosen. Remember, too, your goal needs to be your own, not a goal to change someone else. You can only take responsibility for improving yourself and your life.

Goal 1

Write your goal

Fill in the spaces below to create your first goal. Remember, you’re writing in the present tense and be positive - with the right attitude you’ll get where you want to be much faster. What you want [Date] [Emotion1] [Emotion 2] It is .............................. and I feel so ................................................... and .......................................................

to achieve

I/We................................................................................................................................................................................... I/We................................................................................................................................................................................... I/We................................................................................................................................................................................... Now I/We........................................................................................................................................................................... [Emotion3] and I feel ��

Why you want to achieve it

Goal 2

Write your goal

Fill in the spaces below to create your first goal. Remember, you’re writing in the present tense and be positive – with the right attitude you’ll get where you want to be much faster. It is .............................. and I feel so ............................................................. and .............................................................. I/We................................................................................................................................................................................... I/We................................................................................................................................................................................... I/We................................................................................................................................................................................... Now I/We........................................................................................................................................................................... and I feel ��

Required action: Your only action for the next week is to read your goals every day. Read them out loud and, as you read each one, experience how you will feel when you have achieved what you want. This is called visualisation and is an important step in the goalsetting process – visualise your goals as if you have already achieved them.

www.empowermagazine.com.au

week 2

Making it Happen

Date:

Now that you’ve been reading your goals for a week, consider whether you need to change or add anything to your goals to make them even more meaningful and inspiring. In this session, it’s time to start setting (and doing) the actions necessary to achieve each goal.

Required action: 1. If necessary, add to or change your goals. 2. On the action sheet provided, make a list of the actions you need to take in the next two weeks to get closer to your goals. Remember, these are your goals and you’re responsible for the actions, so be as detailed as you can. 3. Choose a motivational book to read or course to attend to expand your learning. 4. Continue to read and visualise your goals everyday.

Goal 1 Action

Completed

................................................................................................................................................................................. ................................................................................................................................................................................. ................................................................................................................................................................................. ................................................................................................................................................................................. ................................................................................................................................................................................. ................................................................................................................................................................................. ................................................................................................................................................................................. ................................................................................................................................................................................. ................................................................................................................................................................................. ................................................................................................................................................................................. ................................................................................................................................................................................. ................................................................................................................................................................................. .................................................................................................................................................................................

Goal 2 Action

Completed

Autumn 2013

week 4

Date:

Reflect on your goals and actions. Are you achieving what you’d planned to by this time? If you feel that you’ve lost some motivation for achieving your goals, or that you aren’t getting any closer to achieving them, it’s quite normal for people to experience this at some stage during the coaching process. To give you a reminder, and a shot of motivation, do the first action suggested below. Consider your results from the last two weeks. Have you completed all of your actions? If not, what got in your way? What can you do differently to prevent the same outcome in the next two weeks? If you’ve completed all of your actions, perhaps you can now push yourself a little harder.

Required action: 1. Meet with a friend or partner and share your goals with them. Explain to them all the reasons why you want to achieve each goal and how it inspires you. Ask them to hold you accountable. 2. On a new piece of paper, set some new specific actions for each goal over the next two weeks. Remember to challenge yourself. Anything worth achieving may be a little uncomfortable. 3. Continue to read and visualise your goals every day.

week 6

Date:

Hopefully you are well on your way to achieving your goals. If not, you may need to consider adjusting your goal date a little. This is normal and can happen for numerous reasons. You may have underestimated the time it would take, you may have gotten off track, or perhaps you may need to be more strict with yourself in taking actions. Remember, if nothing changes, nothing changes. It is up to you to achieve your goals.

Required action: 1. Adjust your date if necessary. 2. For each goal, make a list of 20 reasons why you want to achieve the goal. Remind yourself of how good you will feel and how life will be different. 3. On a new piece of paper, make a list of the actions you need to take in the next two weeks to get you closer to your goal. Remember to challenge yourself. 4. Decide on one nice thing you are going to buy or do to celebrate achieving your goal. 5. Continue to read and visualise your goal every day.

week 8

Date:

Well done for making it to Week 8 and congratulations if you have achieved any of your goals. If not, don’t lose hope, things sometimes just take longer than initially expected. Either way, it’s important to celebrate how far you have come.

Required action:

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1. Celebrate your success to date. Do something nice or buy yourself your chosen gift. 2. If you have adjusted your goal date, continue to set actions every two weeks and read your goal every day. 3. If you’ve achieved your goal, get ready to set some more goals and start again at Week 1.

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