ATHolme Issue Six | August 2022
In our quest to fulfil our hopes for our children, we become expert script writers, constructing their futures in beautiful phrases, sculpting their opportunities and, sometimes, forgetting to include their voice and their choice in the way the text unfolds. We become deeply invested in maintaining the perfect storyline where the central character or characters are our children. Like me, you may come to the stunning realisation that the script that you have meticulously created is not so accurate, after all. As my adult daughter heads back to work in London in January, I remind myself that she may never live in Queensland again, let alone Toowoomba, and the narrative I’d composed so carefully, the one where she might pop in for dinner on Sunday nights, is merely folly, fiction in the author’s mind.
Writer, Rachel Cusk warns us not to become too attached to that perfect script because, after all, ‘at some point the growing child will pick up [the script] and turn it over in [her] hands like some dispassionate reviewer composing a cold-hearted analysis of an overhyped novel. The shock of critique is the first, faint sign of the coming conflict, though I wonder how much of what we call conflict is in fact our own deserved punishment for telling the story wrong, for twisting it with our own vanity or wishful thinking, for failing to honour the truth.’ She paints a harsh but very truthful reality for those of us who hold too tightly to a treasured storyline. After all, letting go of our children is an art form (Brown, 2020) and yet it is the essence of adolescence – the period of time taken for a teen to define themselves as separate from their parents: not as a clone, not as a mini-version of said parents and certainly not as the protagonist of their parents’ script.
Letting go is the ultimate art form. No one does it easily, though it is possible to do it with grace.
‘... now is the time for her to explore, to find herself as independent from her parents, and to do so with the security of knowing that home is also a place of comfort, certainty and love..’
FROM THE PRINCIPAL’S PEN She’s coming back...
No one ever really warned me that raising an adolescent girl would be difficult. Or perhaps I just chose not to listen to comments from seasoned parents that tended to sound like, ‘Just wait until adolescence kicks in,’ ‘She’ll eventually come back [to you],’ ‘Don’t hold your breath waiting for that cute little girl to return,’ or, the barely reassuring, ‘Good luck!’ I think that I was under some sort of naïve impression that there would be an easy transition from sharing picture books, to learning to ride a push bike and navigating Tamagotchi deaths, into the tumultuous world of a teenager.
Perhaps I even imagined, foolishly, that having shared my entire adult life with adolescents on a daily basis, I would be insightful enough to pre-empt conflict, maintain razor-sharp boundaries and enjoy a mature relationship with my daughter. God taught me otherwise.
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American writer, Samuel Goodrich (2011) states insightfully that ‘there is so much of us vested into our relationships with our children. Hopes and fears, ardent wishes and anxious apprehensions are twisted together in the threads that connect parent with child!’
He says music is a fundamental part of humanity and human expression, and as a creative art form that involves the emotions as well as intellect, ‘it simply cannot be replaced by automation or computer technology. Therefore it is absolutely critical in any well-rounded education,’ he says.
The duo received the state award in particular for their work at the Stringout Festival, Colourstrings Teacher Training and the Toowoomba Strings. ‘It is an honour to receive an award that is nominated and voted on by peers in the profession,’ Mr Egerton said. ‘It is also lovely to know that achievement working in a regional area can be acknowledged by the wider Mrcommunity.’Egertonbegan playing the piano at age 6 and the violin at age 8. ‘I was inspired by my older brother who played the violin and was my first teacher for a year. I loved being involved in music right through school and it became an obvious career choice, as an alternative to the medical shute that the rest of my family seemed to head down!’
Congratulations Congratulations to Fairholme Co ordinator of Instrumental Music, Rod Egerton, and Specialist Violin Teacher, Celia Egerton, who were presented with the Australia String Association State Award recently. The AUSTA Awards are presented once every three years at the National Conference and acknowledge the work and achievements of string teachers, players and makers throughout the community both at a state and national level. Award winners are outstanding contributors to the development of string music and have had a profound impact at a state or national level over a substantial period of time.
I think of this period of parenting as analogous to standing on the sideline watching our daughter play sport or sitting in an audience watching her perform on stage. Do we find ourselves wanting to be on the field or stage with her, metaphorically or literally? Do we see her as emulating us? Are we wanting to correct adjudicators and umpires too vociferously? Do we analyse each moment of the performance on the car trip home – commenting, deconstructing critically, comparing to others? If we are honest, we’ve all done some of that in some way – but hopefully not all of it, all the time. Letting go is the ultimate art form. No one does it easily, though it is possible to do it with grace. Given that statistics from the Royal Melbourne Hospital tell us that the period of adolescence begins at age 10 and that the average adolescence/adult in Melbourne leaves home at 27, there is a long period of time for us to perfect the skill of letting go, and lots of opportunity to do so with grace – if that is our will. Implicit in that grace lies humility and a willingness to manage our own shame when things don’t go to Hodsonscript.(2020)
writes that ‘all parents “fail” in some sense. A noted [psychologist] once[said]: ‘A parent’s place is in the wrong.’ That statement is not something for us to view as dire. It’s there as a reality check for us all, that pertinent reminder that our best intentions go hand in hand with our own flaws and ‘humanness’ – and sometimes it is a volatile mix. Whilst we all have a depth of life experience, we have worked, travelled, and faced challenging circumstances - these are our experiences, and they are not our child’s (Brown, 2020). Whilst our wisdom is valuable, how and when it is shared, matters. Sometimes we cannot share it at all. Hold on for the ride and let go gracefully as you do so … enjoy the moments of unity when you escape with her, from what can sometimes be the ‘mild prison of home’ (Cusk, 2015), the place where hopes, expectations and the thirst for independence can meet in a volatile collision. She is coming back … eventually, but now is the time for her to explore, to find herself as independent from her parents, and to do so, with the security of knowing that home is also a place of comfort, certainty and ‘Forlove.as long as you cling to your children like a lifebelt, you will cease to grow up.’ (Hodson, 2020) – and neither will they. She is coming back … even from London, (eventually)!
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It’s been a career that has spanned three decades. ‘I started as a tertiary student in the 1980s, but I have been involved in teaching in the school setting for the past 31 years.’
‘It is wonderful sharing the world of music with students of all ages and helping them to find their own expressive voice through this medium. As an instrumental teacher we often get to work with an individual for up to 10 years, which is a real privilege to watch them develop and grow.’
Dr Linda Evans | Principal REFERENCES Brown, M. (2020). The Art of Letting Your Children Go. Augustcommentisfree/2012/aug/05/phillip-hodson-parents-let-children-gogo:Hodson,2015Cusk,mother/the-art-of-letting-your-children-go-842defccc783https://medium.com/i-retrieved4August2022R.(2015).Teenagers:what’swrongwiththem?‘TheAustralian’.April25.P.(2012).Mymessagetotheparentswhocan’tlettheirchildrengrowup.‘TheGuardian’.5August2012.https://www.theguardian.com/Retrieved42022
FROM THE PRINCIPAL’S PEN Continued...
For parents who are having ‘those’ vital open parenting conversations, you are no doubt including E-cigarettes and vaping in the mix. Quit Victoria has an excellent serious of resources entitled ‘E-cigarettes and teens: what you need to know’. Explore at org.au/articles/teenvaping/https://www.quit. ongoing conversation
THE UBIQUITOUS VAPE
An
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Just over half of parents and carers talk to their children regularly about online safety (Source: Australian Centre to Counter Child Exploitation). I hope our Fairholme parents are over-represented in this Forfigure.those who share our concerns about mobile phone overuse, addiction and online predatory behaviour – we share this fabulous resource from Think U Know which provides a plethora of information about working with your children as they navigate their online world, wisely. Think U Know: Five top tips for you to prevent online child sexual exploitation Have open conversations, often The most important tip we can give you is to start talking to your child regularly about their online activities and interactions. Supervision is essential This means knowing what your child is doing online, who they are interacting with and what platforms, apps or games they are using. Be approachable if your child needs help Coming forward isn’t always easy and your child may feel reluctant to tell you about online issues if they believe they will be punished or have their devices taken away. This also makes children more secretive about device use and at greater risk of exploitation. Check privacy settings We recommended that you research and understand app settings, including privacy settings. This could include turning off location settings, setting profiles to private, or turning off chat functions. Know how to report If something goes wrong online, it is critical your child is Yousupported.needto know how to take action and report. This is a resource worth exploring at thinkuknow.org.au/https://www.
Olivia Martell Senior Tug of War Trophy Stephens House S Landsberg & P MacDonald (SeniorsTrophy
Seniors
Scarlett Sippel E J Kellock Trophy (Effort and Dedication in Athletics)
Interhouse Athletics
Champion: Chelsea Gladwin (Mackintosh Cup) Runner Up: Mackenzi Third:SchefeMilly Chappel 16 Years Champion: Laura Patterson (SG Stephens RunnerCup) Up: Madison Third:MuirheadLilly Biernoff U20 Years Champion: Abby Taylor (Donald Fletcher Cup) Runner Up: Bronte Lane Third: Emily Mailler
Riverview Cup: Champion House (Aggregate Points)
First: Powell House Second: Black House Third: Cameron House Fourth: Stephens House
v Staff v Old Girls Relay)
Mr & Mrs J S Klan Trophy for March Past Stephens House Boarders v Daygirls Relay Cup Daygirls W R Black (ChampionTrophyBoarder) Laura Patterson Newnham (ChampionTrophyDaygirl)
12 Years
Champion: Genevieve Mansfield (Pip Kehoe Cup) Runner Up: Ella Williams Third: Alara Williams 13 Years Champion: Scarlett Sippel (Cathy Freeman Cup) Runner Up: Charli Moore Third: Abi Barnes 14 Years Champion: Olivia Martell (WHA Dunn Trophy) Runner Up: Julia Third:WainwrightTayla Kauter 15 Years
Interhouse Athletics
Tom McCormack | Head of Senior School AT HOLME
As part of our NAIDOC week celebrations, we unveiled our new Fairholme flagpoles, consisting of the Australian, Aboriginal, and Torres Strait Islanders flags. These have been positioned in the centre of the school at the front of the Performing Arts building. The efforts towards installing these flagpoles have been the work of the Reconciliation Action Plan working group. Fairholme is working hard with community members to put together a Reconciliation Action Plan (RAP).
Each part of the Fairholme College RAP is about looking at ways the culture of Fairholme College can be enhanced through a solid foundation of reconciliation. The installation of the flagpoles was a necessary move and is part of the RAP’s Symbols, Spaces and Signs Thisfocus.branch of the RAP looks at the various opportunities to promote reconciliation efforts around the college through visual representation. These signs and symbols are about education for all, yet they also provide comfort to our Aboriginal students and let them know that Fairholme College is a safe space. We acknowledge that these signs and symbols also provide a means of cultural expression and are a vehicle for the transmission of culture. Furthermore, they chronicle the communication of knowledge of the land, events and beliefs of the Aboriginal peoples. For these reasons, we have started to ensure more of these signs and symbols are present around Fairholme College, whether this is in our gardens, classrooms or other spaces. Examples of signs and symbols around the college are; various pieces of art from local Indigenous artists connected to Fairholme, murals, yarning circles, gardens and totems.
A RAP is an essential document for any organisation or school because it outlines a whole-school approach to driving reconciliation by building relationships, respect and opportunities in the classroom, around the school and within the community.
We look forward to sharing more about the Reconciliation Action plan in the near future.
Fairholme flagpoles
‘See Culture,
Fairholme is a community that champions inclusivity, understanding and respect of First Nations People, culture and history. We collaboratively take action to become a culturally rich and proud school community. Learn Culture, Share Culture’
AT HOLME
Head Day Girl, Erin Hoffensetz is just under 100 days from finishing school and as her time in the tartan nears its end, she reflects on some of her fondest memories.
What have you enjoyed most about being Head Day Girl?
Getting to know Dr Evans and Ms Sharp has been so fun; they are absolute legends. They do so much, and they take on a lot of the feedback. They care so much; they are really amazing and I’ve loved getting to know them.
Erin was recently presented with the Phyllis Lovell Memorial Bursary at Founders’ Day, which is awarded to a Year 12 student who is the daughter of a Fairholme Old Girl and, in the opinion of the College Leadership Team, has made a significant all-round contribution to Fairholme.
We wish Erin all the best in her final days here at Fairholme.
What piece of advice would you give the Year 11s as they approach their last year of schooling?
Q&
with Head Day Girl, Erin HoffensetzA
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What do you love most about Fairholme?
I started at Fairholme halfway through Year 7 in Term 3. I would say my fondest memories are all with friends. Playing netball, getting ready for socials, and getting more and more confident as the years went on, and by the time you get to Year 12, you are friends with everyone, and I just love Howthat. are you hoping to soak up the last bit of life at Fairholme? I feel like I am ready for the next stage of my life, I am ready for a challenge but I’m hoping to soak up the last little bit of life at Fairholme by stealing as much of my Boarder friends’ lunches as I can, continuing to chat with the ones that I love because I know I won’t see them for a while.
I love the people - seriously the people here are just amazing. The older I get the more I realise how much our teachers care about us and how amazing they are, and apart from being teachers they are amazing human beings.
‘... quote......
How did it feel to receive the leadership role? It was amazing getting Head Day Girl, I couldn’t believe it. Everyone was so supportive when it was announced, and it made the experience so much better. What are your plans for 2023? I plan to begin University and study a double degree in International Relations and Commerce. Hopefully I get into University in Canberra, I find out about that in September because that is my number one choice. My second preferences are Sydney and Bond University, which I’d also be happy with.
Don’t rush into picking your formal partner. You do not need to pick your formal partner in Term 3 of Year 11 - you don’t even need a formal partner if you don’t want to.
This month on campus AT HOLME
Holme away from home Between table tennis, chalk drawing, park visits, playing pool and enjoying the sunshine in the courtyard, the Boarders have had a great few weeks! AT HOLME
Fairholme Fathers for a cause AT HOLME Dads from all over came together to raise money for Fairholme families in need at the annual Fathers’ Dinner. A record number of dads enjoyed the night out at the Burke and Wills Hotel, listening to guest speaker, Greg Ritchie. Through several auction items and donated raffle prizes, over $13,000 was raised. Thank you to Forty Winks and the Healy family for their kind and generous sponsorship of the 2022 Fairholme Fathers’ Dinner.
Senior Voices Choir - FIRST PLACE (Hymn)
Senior Voices - FIRST PLACE (Secondary School Modern Voices) Senior Voices – awarded THE GLENNIE SCHOOL TROPHY
– THIRD PLACE (A Grade Stage Band) Senior String Quartet – HIGHLY COMMENDED
College Choir - THIRD PLACE (Secondary School Choir)
Middle Voices - SECOND PLACE (Middle School Vocal Ensemble) and SECOND PLACE (Middle School Choir)
EISTEDDFOD
Senior Voices - FIRST (Spiritual)
Middle School Dance Troupettes – FIRST PLACE (Hip Hop) Dance Troupe – SECOND PLACE (Hip Hop) and HIGHLY
COMMENDED (Jazz) Symphony Orchestra – SECOND PLACE (Secondary School Orchestra) Chamber Strings – SECOND PLACE (Secondary School String Ensemble)
Small Chamber Strings – SECOND PLACE (Secondary School String Ensemble A Grade) Year 2 Strings – SECOND PLACE (Primary School String Beginner StageEnsemble)Band
success AT HOLME Chamber Choir - SECOND PLACE (Folk Song) and HIGHLY COMMENDED (Secondary School Vocal Ensemble)
Senior Voices – awarded PHILHARMONIC AGGREGATE SHIELD
Junior School Chorale – THIRD PLACE (Primary A Grade Choir) and SECOND PLACE (Spiritual or Gospel Song)
Congratulations to all of the Fairholme students who have not only been wonderful ambassadors for the College, but have been successful in achieving an incredible gamut of impressive results at this year’s Toowoomba Eisteddfod. From cleverly-crafted solo items to breathtaking large-scale ensemble performances, our girls have enthusiastically taken to the Empire Theatre stage to showcase their immense talents and successfully deliver an array of award-winning performances across the Vocal, Choral, Instrumental, Dance and Speech & Drama sections at this year’s Toowoomba Eisteddfod. The resounding success achieved by our talented Fairholme students is truly a reflection of the wonderful depth and breadth of Arts opportunities on offer at the College and the talented girls involved. Well done, girls, we are exceedingly proud of you.
AT HOLME Upcoming events FAIRHOLME COLLEGE | Wirra Wirra Street Toowoomba | (07) 4688 4688 | communications@fairholme.qld.edu.au Dance Showcase 20 August Junior School Arts Showcase 01 September Pupil Free Day 02 September Box of Chocolates Concert 12 September Term 3 Concludes 15 September Term 4 Commences 05 October Curtain Call Showcase and Awards Presentation Evening 10 October Presenting Fairholme 20 October Induction of Senior Leaders 21 October Spring Fair 22 October Fashion Parade 22 October Mothers’ Long Lunch 11 November
