a&e happenings

LOOKING THROUGH THE LAYERS WORKSHOP WITH MICAH GOGUEN Micah Goguen, from Macon, Ga., will teach a three-day workshop from 9 a.m.- 4 p.m., May 15-17, at Framing by Design, working in acrylics and related water media. All supplies are included and all levels of artists are invited. Visit paletteproductions.net for details and registration information about the workshop.

CABARET DRAG SHOWCASE AT AMERICAN LEGION POST 193 Don't miss Cabaret drag showcase every second and fourth Saturday at the American Legion Post 193, 2708 N. 12th Ave. Doors open at 8 p.m. Showtime at 10 p.m. For more information, contact Taize Sinclair-Santi, the show director, at taizesinclairsanti@gmail.com.

SPIRITS OF SEVILLE QUARTER GHOST

TOUR AND LUNCHEON Dine inside Pensacola's oldest and most haunted restaurant and investigate the spirits with actual paranormal equipment at Seville Quarter, 130 E. Government St. Tickets are $12 and include a voucher toward Seville Quarter's menu. Tours held weekdays 11 a.m.2 p.m. and Sundays 2-4 p.m. To make an appointment, call (850) 941-4321.

AFTER DARK: SEVILLE QUARTER GHOSTS, MURDER, MAYHEM AND MYSTERY TOUR

AND DINNER After Dark paranormal investigation and dinner, inside one of Pensacola's most haunted restaurants with actual ghost-hunting equipment, Sundays from 6-8 p.m. Listen as your guide weaves tales of ghosts, debauchery, murder, mayhem, paranormal activities, history and more of Seville Quarter and downtown Historic Pensacola. Following your ghost tour, enjoy dinner at Seville Quarter Palace Café, 130 E Government St. Reservations required. Call (850) 941-4321. Tickets are available at pensacolaghostevents.com

PENSACOLA ARTS MARKET Shop small and buy art at Pensacola Arts Market every fourth Saturday of the month at Cordova Square, 1101 N. 12th Ave., from 11 a.m.-4 p.m. Enjoy a local artisan and farmers market with more than 50 vendors, food trucks, plants, vintage clothing and décor, live musical performances, kids crafts and games. This is a free event. Pensacola Arts Market is set up at Gary's Brewery & Biergarten, 208 Newman Ave., from 4-9 p.m. every first Friday of the month and 2-6 p.m. every third Sunday of the month.

We serve the local community by offering gently used merchandise at bargain center prices while generating financial support for the programs of the Ministry Village.

BODY, MIND, SPIRIT MARKET AT EVER'MAN Admission is free to enjoy local vendors, artisans, holistic practitioners, speakers and more with door prizes, entertainment and children's activities. This is an inside and outside event held on the first Saturday of the month from 10 a.m.-4 p.m. at Ever'man Downtown, 315 W. Garden St. For vendor table, call (850) 941-4321 or go to empowermentschoolhouse.com.

SYNTHESIS A group BFA exhibit at Pensacola Museum of Art, 407 S. Jefferson St. This exhibition features work by graduating Bachelor of Fine Art students from the University of West Florida Department of Art and Design. Visit pensacolamuseum.org for details.

FIRST CITY ART CENTER MEMBERS SHOW

The third annual members show at First City Art Center's Gallery 1060 will be on display through April 28 at 1060 Guillemard St. The show features works from members of FCAC.

TABLE TALKS AT THE TRUST Join the Historic Trust for a monthly lunch and learn series on the third Wednesday of the month at the Voices of Pensacola Multicultural Center, 117 E. Government St., from noon-1 p.m. The program is free— just bring your lunch and enjoy a casual opportunity to learn about a variety of topics. The next date is May 17—Cart Blackwell of Carnival Museum in Mobile. For more information, please email hparchives@uwf.edu or call (850) 595-5985, ext. 125.

NONNEY ODDLOKKEN: TINY, LITTLE FABLES Nonney Oddlokken is a contemporary artist who utilizes fiber and collage techniques to create a Louisiana narrative and exhibition entitled "Tiny, Little Fables." The references in this body of work mix elements from her own childhood "fables," Catholic references, Cajun folklore, New Orleans Voodoo and the indigenous flora and fauna of Louisiana swamps and bayous. Her work employs a unique process that consists of handmade paper substrates and collage elements finished with hundreds of yards of handstitched gold thread embellishments. This exhibit is on view through May 28 at Pensacola Museum of Art, 407 S. Jefferson St. Visit pensacolamuseum.org for details.

THE MEMBERS SHOW The Pensacola Museum of Art Members Show is on view through May

28, showcasing more than 50 artists in a diverse range of media at 407 S. Jefferson St. Visit pensacolamuseum.org for details.

SUDDENLY AMERICAN: A MEETING OF HERITAGE AND COUNTRY This exhibit looks at the transition of Florida from a Spanish territory to an American region, which formally occurred in 1821. Florida's embattled history dates back much further than 1821. From refusing independence during the American Revolution to wanting its own freedom in 1810, Florida loved to cause problems. The United States eyed the region early on, using the Seminole Wars as an excuse to seize territory before turning to diplomatic means to acquire Florida. The Adams-Onis Treaty, debated and initially agreed upon in 1819, resulted in Spain ceding control of East Florida to the United States. At the same time, Spain also agreed to give up all claims on West Florida, in essence giving the entire Florida territory over to the United States. Ratified in 1821, the treaty was cause for celebration in Pensacola, the capital of West Florida, as it officially became part of America. The exhibit is on view at Pensacola Museum of History through December 2023. Visit historicpensacola. org for details.

TEXTILES OF THE TIMES: REGENCY ERA DRESS MAKING The period between 18111820 is historically defined as the Regency Period. This exhibit at the Pensacola Museum of History looks at a day in the life of a Regencyera Pensacolian through fashion and garment use. Drawing on historical documentation of stores known to have operated on Palafox, inside this recreation of a seamstress shop, visitors will be able to explore the dress of yesteryear. This exhibit is on view at the Pensacola Museum of History through June 2023. Visit historicpensacola.org for details.

FOOD + DRINKS

MAY THE 4TH BE WITH YOU Join Perfect Plain Brewing Co., 50 E. Garden St., on Thursday, May 4, for its sixth annual Star Wars Day Celebration, an annual Star Wars beer release, Binary Sunset DIPA, Star Wars-themed cocktails, trivia and costume contest. Visit facebook.com/perfectplainbrewingco for details.

STAR WARS DAY AT COASTAL COUNTY BREWING COMPANY Celebrate this annu- al homage to "Star Wars" with specials evening starting at 5 p.m., Thursday, May 4, at 3041 E. Olive Road. Itsa Cookie will provide special Lightsaber Cookies for a cookie and beer pairing. "The Flight is Strong with this One" will feature all four colors of the lightsaber spectrum, paired with four of our best CCB Brews.

ATLAS BEVERAGE CLASS The next Atlas Beverage Class is Thursday, May 4, at Atlas, 600 S. Barracks St. Enjoy a Cinco De Mayo celebration. Classes are at 5 and 7 p.m. Cost is $25 per person. Reservations are required. Call (850) 287-0200 for your spot.

FINE WINE FRIDAY AT THE NEST Head to

The Nest General Store, 11 S. Palafox, Ste. C, for a sit-down wine tasting with snacks 6-9 p.m., Friday, May 5. Tickets are $35. Visit thenestgeneralstore. com for tickets.

CINCO DE MAYO AT PERFECT PLAIN Live music, tacos from Tacos Mexicanos, tequila and beer starting at noon, Friday, May 5, at Perfect Plain Brewing Co., 50 E. Garden St. Visit facebook. com/perfectplainbrewingco for details.

CINCO DE MAYO AT O'RILEY'S IRISH PUB

All locations will celebrate Cinco de Mayo 11 a.m.close, Friday, May 5. O'Riley's Irish Pub Downtown, 321 S. Palafox, will have a taco special all day. The drink specials include a two for $5 deal on Ghost Trail El Rey drafts. The bar will also offer Altos Tequila for $5, domestic buckets for $14 and Fireball for $5.50.

O'Riley's Uptown Tavern, 3728 Creighton Road, will host a pickleball tournament from 5-8 p.m. The all-day drink specials will include a two for $5 deal on Ghost Train El Rey Draft, a 2 for $5 deal on Taste of Florida margaritas and a deal on NUTRL buckets for $20.

Mugs and Jugs, 12080 Scenic Highway, will feature a two for $5 deal on Taste of Florida margaritas, Bud Light drafts and Natty Lite Vodka Cocktails.

Sir Richard's Public House, 2719 E. Cervantes, will host a Tequila Fest with a special tequila flight for $20. The tequilas for the flights include Maestro Dobel Diamante, Gran Coramino, Tequila Ocho and Milagro Reposado Single Barrel Reserve. Sir Richards will also feature Micheladas for $5 and a two for $5 deal on Taste of Florida margaritas .

Looking for a great way to support The Ministry Village Bargain Center?

Bring us your donations!

We are open Monday–Saturday 9-5 92 E. Nine Mile Road * 850.912.8222

127

100 (850)466-3115

a&e happenings

BIG BREW DAY AT GARY'S BREWERY Get ready for Big Brew Day at Gary's Brewery & Biergarten, 208 Newman Ave. The free event starts at 9 a.m., Saturday, May 6, when the Escambia Bay Homebrewers start brewing a 10-gallon, all-grain batch of Nearly Nirvana Pale Ale. Visit facebook. com/garysbrew for details.

VINO MAGNIFICO The next Vino Magnifico is Tuesday, May 9, at V. Paul's, 29 S. Palafox. Tickets are $15. RSVP is required. Reserve your spot at vpauls.com.

SPANISH TAPAS DEMONSTRATION DINNER Join Bodacious for a fun demonstration dinner where participants will learn to prepare and cook a variety of small, flavorful dishes at 6 p.m., Wednesday, May 10, at Bodacious, 407-D S. Palafox. Cost is $65. Visit bodaciousshops.com for details.

BINGO NIGHT Play a game (or two) of Bingo from 6-8 p.m. Mondays at Calvert's in the Heights, 670 Scenic Highway. For more information, visit calvertsintheheights.com.

SECOND TUESDAY THEMED TRIVIA Visit Perfect Plain Brewing Co., 50 E. Garden St., for themed trivia nights on the second Tuesday of the month from 7-9 p.m. Visit facebook.com/perfectplainbrewingco for details.

TRIVIA AT CALVERT'S IN THE HEIGHTS

Take part in trivia nights, 6-8 p.m., Wednesdays, at

Calvert's in the Heights, 670 Scenic Highway. For more information, calvertsintheheights.com.

THURSDAY BIERGARTEN TRIVIA NIGHT

Gary's Brewery Trivia Night is back by popular demand. Thursdays from 7-9 p.m., test your trivia skills with a glass of beer or wine. Arrive early to grab a spot. Gary's Brewery is located at 208 Newman Ave. For more information, visit facebook. com/garysbrew.

Live Music

BANDS ON THE BEACH Concerts are held every Tuesday night from 7-9 p.m. at the Gulfside Pavilion on Pensacola Beach. On Tuesday, May 9, Grits & Greens performs. Visit visitpensacolabeach.com/whats-happening-bands-on-beach for details.

CHRISTOPHER'S CONCERTS The Blenders will play the next Christopher's Concert Series from 6-8 p.m., Thursday, May 4, at 3200 N. 12th Ave. Visit scpen.org for details.

OSO OSO With Noiseheads and Capsule Hotel, 6 p.m., Thursday, May 4, at The Handlebar, 319 N. Tarragona St. Tickets are $20 in advance and $22 at the door and available at thehandlebar850.com.

HERAKLEION, BRAT, ANEURYSM, AND WAX OFFERING Show is 7 p.m., Friday, May 5, at The Handlebar, 319 N. Tarragona St. Tickets are $10. Visit thehandlebar850.com for details.

BEACHBILLY LIFESTYLE PERDIDO KEY MUSIC FESTIVAL This year's donations will go to various causes of the Beachbilly Lifestyle Charity Foundation and the Frank Brown Music Foundation and Frank Brown International Songwriters Festival. The festival is Saturday and Sunday, May 6 and 7, at Playa del Rio RV Resort, 16990 Perdido Key Drive. For details and music lineup, visit facebook.com/perdidokeymusicfestival/events.

COWBOY MOUTH Show is 8 p.m., Saturday, May 6, at Vinyl Music Hall, 2 S. Palafox. Tickets are $20. Visit vinylmusichall.com for details.

ALEX'S GOTH-ING AWAY PARTY The Handlebar, 319 N. Tarragona St., sends off bartender Alex with DJ Poseidon and Kuru Remstate, 8 p.m., Saturday, May 6, with a $10 cover. Visit thehandlebar850.com for details.

STEELIN' PEACHES: ALLMAN BROTHERS

REVUE Show is 6 p.m., Sunday, May 7, at The Handlebar, 319 N. Tarragona St. Tickets are $15 in advance and $20 at the door. Visit thehandlebar850.com for details.

LILLY ELIZA BIRTHDAY SHOW Come celebrate this special day with a special lineup of some amazing local talent. Featuring Lilly Eliza, Devan Sean and Gentilly Soül, 7 p.m., Sunday, May 7, at Easy Going Gallery, 701 N. V St. Visit facebook.com/easygoinggallery for details.

NIRVANA TRIBUTE SHOW Nirvanna will perform at 8 p.m., Friday, May 12, at Vinyl Music Hall, 2 S. Palafox. Tickets are $15 and available at vinylmusichall.com.

BLUES ON THE BAY Blues on the Bay is Sunday evenings at Community Maritime Park, 351 Cedar St. Nobius plays at 6 p.m., Sunday, May 14.

EASY GOING DJ LAB Show is noon-4 p.m. every Saturday at Easy Going Gallery, 701 N. V St. Visit facebook.com/easygoinggallery for details.

OPEN MIC NIGHT AT GARY'S BREWERY

Open mic night is hosted by Renee Amelia every other Wednesday at 6 p.m. at Gary's Brewery & Biergarten, 208 Newman Ave. Visit facebook. com/garysbrew for details.

GARY-OKE Sing your heart out at Gary's Brewery and Biergarten, 208 Newman Ave., every Wednesday from 6-10 p.m. Visit facebook.com/ garysbrew for details.

PENSACOLA PICK NIGHT AT ODD COLONY Music pickers of all levels are invited to play at Odd Colony, 260 N. Palafox, from 7-9 p.m. every last Monday of the month. Bring your acoustic instrument and jam. Visit facebook.com/oddcolony for details.

JAZZ BY THE BOOK Joe Occhipinti performs at West Florida Public Libraries twice a month on Tuesdays at 1 p.m. The concert is at Pensac-

a&e happenings

ola Library, 239 N. Spring St. Visit mywfpl.com for details.

MONDAY NIGHT BLUES AT SEVILLE QUARTER Seville Quarter and the Blues Society of Northwest Florida bring the "Blues" back to the Seville Quarter Entertainment District at 7 p.m. every Monday night in End O' the Alley, located at 130 E. Government St. For more information, visit sevillequarter.com.

TUESDAY NIGHT JAZZ AT SEVILLE QUARTER Enjoy smooth jazz with Melodious Allen and The Funk Heads every Tuesday night at Lili Marlene's in Seville Quarter, 130 E. Government St. Show starts at 6:30 p.m. Visit sevillequarter.com for more information.

FITNESS + RECREATION

PICKLEBALL TOURNAMENT Head to O'Riley's Uptown Tavern, 3728 Creighton Road, from 5-8 p.m., Friday, May 5, for a Pickleball Tournament. For more information, visit orileystavern. com/new-events/2023/4/13/uptown-open.

OCEAN HOUR WEEKLY CLEANUPS Ocean Hour Pensacola host weekly cleanups on Saturdays from 9-10 a.m. On May 6, the cleanup will be at Bob Sikes Bridge at the south end. Meet in front of the Grand Marlin at fishing bridge. Closed-toe shoes are recommended. Follow Ocean Hour at facebook. com/oceanhourfl for more details and locations.

HOOK, LINE & SINKER MONTHLY FISHING

SEMINAR SERIES Hot Spots Charters hosts a monthly free fishing seminar at Flounders Chowder House, 800 Quietwater Beach Road on Pensacola Beach, the first Monday of every month. Free fish dinner served at 6:30 p.m. with the seminar beginning at 7 p.m. and typically lasting about an hour. Visit facebook.com/hlsseminar for details.

BLUE WAHOOS 2023 SEASON The Blue Wahoos 2023 season has begun at Blue Wahoos Stadium, 651 W. Cedar St. Individual and season tickets are available at bluewahoos.com. Upcoming home games:

• 6:35 p.m. Thursday, May 4

• 6:35 p.m. Friday, May 5

• 6:05 p.m. Saturday, May 6

• 4:05 p.m. Sunday, May 7

MONSTER JAM Monster Jam will have showtimes of 1 and 7 p.m., Saturday, May 13, and 1 p.m., Sunday, May 14, at Pensacola State College, 201 E. Gregory St. For tickets and details, visit pensacolabaycenter.com.

FREE YOGA CLASSES AT EVER'MAN Take in a free yoga class at Ever'man, 327 W. Garden St. Visit everman.org for full calendar of events.

FREE YOGA CLASSES AT COMMUNITY

HEALTH NORTHWEST FLORIDA Community Health Northwest Florida offers free yoga classes to people ages 18 and older. No experience required. The classes are led by Justin Nutt. Visit facebook.com/healthcarewithinreach for more information.

Schedule:

•Mondays

10-11 a.m. Community Chair Yoga at Brownsville

Community Center, 3200 W. Desoto St.

•Tuesdays

10-11 a.m., Gentle Movement at Palafox TWO, 1380 N. Palafox

•Wednesdays

10-11 a.m., Community Chair Yoga at Brownsville Community Center, 3200 W. Desoto St.

•Thursdays

10-11 a.m., Gentle Movement at Palafox TWO, 1380 N. Palafox

•Fridays

10-11 a.m., Community Chair Yoga at Brownsville Community Center, 3200 W. Desoto St.

LIVE JAZZ AND SWING DANCING On the first Friday of each month from 6:30-11 p.m., enjoy a live band for dancing Lindy, Foxtrot, East Coast and West Coast Swing. Fun, friendly atmosphere with lessons for all levels, no partner required. Located at The Way You Move Dance Studio, 918 Winton Ave. Cost is $15. More information is at thewayyoumove.us.

WEST COAST SWING DANCE Join the fun Wednesdays from 6:30-10 p.m. for $5 and the fourth Saturday of each month 6:30-11 p.m. for $10. All levels are welcome. No partner is required. The Way You Move dance studio is at 918 Winton Ave. For more information, visit thewayyoumove.us

BALLROOM, LATIN, SWING DANCE On the Second Saturday of each month from 6:30-11 p.m., enjoy a mix of music for all dancers. All levels welcomed; no partner required. The Way You Move dance studio, 918 Winton Ave. Cost is $10. More information at thewayyoumove.us for more listings visit inweekly.net

FREE YOGA IN THE PARK Breathe Yoga and Wellness Center will offer free yoga throughout 2023 as a part of its Wellness in the Park Series. One-hour outdoor yoga classes will be led by Breathe Yoga and Wellness Center on the first Sunday of every month at 9:30 a.m. at Bayview Park. The next date is Sunday, May 7.

FREE PILATES IN THE PARK The City of Pensacola Parks and Recreation Department and PURE Pilates presents a free one-hour outdoor Pilates class the third Sunday of every month at Community Maritime Park, 351 W. Cedar St. The next date is May 21.

PENSACOLA PARKRUN The Pensacola Rec Plex North parkrun is 7:30 a.m. Saturdays. The weekly timed 5K run or walk takes place at the University of West Florida and is open to everyone, regardless of fitness level. For more information, visit facebook.com/rpnparkrun or email recplexnorth@parkrun.com.

YOGA CLASSES AT EVER'MAN Beginner Yoga with John is 10 a.m. Thursdays, 4:30 p.m. Tuesdays and 12:15 p.m. Wednesdays. Funky Yoga Flow is 6 p.m. Tuesdays. And Vinyasa Yoga Flow is 6 p.m. Thursdays. All classes are at Ever'man, 327 W. Garden St. For a full calendar of events, visit everman.org.

Week Of May 4

ARIES (MARCH 21-APRIL 19): Before forming the band called The Beatles, John Lennon, George Harrison and Paul McCartney performed under various other names: the Quarrymen, Japage 3 and Johnny and the Moondogs. I suspect you are currently at your own equivalent of the Johnny and the Moondogs phase. You're building momentum. You're gathering the tools and resources you need, but you have not yet found the exact title, descriptor or definition for your enterprise. I suggest you be extra alert for its arrival in the coming weeks.

TAURUS (APRIL 20-MAY 20): I've selected a passage from poet Jane Shore to serve as one of your prime themes during the rest of 2023. She writes, "Now I feel I am learning how to grow into the space I was always meant to occupy, into a self I can know." Dear Taurus, you will have the opportunity to grow evermore assured and selfpossessed as you embody Shore's description in the coming months. Congratulations in advance on the progress you will make to more fully activate your soul's code.

GEMINI (MAY 21-JUNE 20): Georges Rouault (1871-1958) was a Gemini painter who bequeathed the world more than 3,000 works of art. There might have been even more, but years before he died, he burned 315 of his unfinished paintings. He felt they were imperfect, and he would never have time or be motivated to finish them. I think the coming weeks would be a good time for you to enjoy a comparable purge, Gemini. Are there things in your world that don't mean much to you anymore and are simply taking up space? Consider the possibility of freeing yourself from their stale energy.

CANCER (JUNE 21-JULY 22): Britain occupied India for almost 200 years. It was a ruthless and undemocratic exploitation that steadily drained India's wealth and resources. Mahatma Gandhi wasn't the only leader who fought British oppression, but he was among the most effective. In 1930, he led a 24-day, 240-mile march to protest the empire's tyrannical salt tax. This action was instrumental in energizing the Indian independence movement that ultimately culminated in India's freedom. I vote

By Rob Brezsny

to make Gandhi one of your inspirational role models in the coming months. Are you ready to launch a liberation project? Stage a constructive rebellion? Martial the collaborative energies of your people in a holy cause?

LEO (JULY 23-AUG. 22): As crucial as it is to take responsibility, it is also essential to recognize where our responsibilities end and what should be left for others to do. For example, we usually shouldn't do work for other people that they can just as easily do for themselves. We shouldn't sacrifice doing the work only we can do and get sidetracked doing work many people can do. To be effective and find fulfillment in life, it's vital for us to discover what truly needs to be within our care and what should be outside of our care. I see the coming weeks as a favorable time for you to clarify the boundary between these two.

that. The demons' strategy, you see, is to manipulate you into being mean and cruel to yourself. To drive them away, I suggest you shower yourself with love and kindness. That seriously reduces their ability to trick you and hurt you—and may even put them into a deep sleep. Now is an excellent time to try this approach.

SCORPIO (OCT. 23-NOV. 21): As she matured, Scorpio poet Sylvia Plath wrote, "I am learning how to compromise the wild dream ideals and the necessary realities without such screaming pain." I believe you're ready to go even further than Plath was able to, dear Scorpio. In the coming weeks, you could not merely "compromise" the wild dream ideals and the necessary realities. You could synergize them and get them to collaborate in satisfying ways. Bonus: I bet you will accomplish this feat without screaming pain. In fact, you may generate surprising pleasures that delight you with their revelations.

es. Here's a helpful tip: In each situation you're involved in, focus on sustaining a vision of the most graceful, positive outcome.

VIRGO (AUG. 23-SEPT. 22): Virgo-born Marie Laveau (1801–1881) was a powerful Voodoo priestess, herbalist, activist and midwife in New Orleans. According to legend, she could walk on water, summon clairvoyant visions, safely suck the poison out of a snake's jowls and cast spells to help her clients achieve their heart's desires. There is also a wealth of more tangible evidence that she was a community activist who healed the sick, volunteered as an advocate for prisoners, provided free teachings and did rituals for needy people who couldn't pay her. I hereby assign her to be your inspirational role model for the coming weeks. I suspect you will have extra power to help people in both mysterious and practical ways.

LIBRA (SEPT. 23-OCT. 22): What are the best methods to exorcise our personal demons, ghosts and goblins? Or at least subdue them and neutralize their ill effects? We all have such phantoms at work in our psyches, corroding our confidence and undermining our intentions. One approach I don't recommend is to get mad at yourself for having these interlopers. Never do

SAGITTARIUS (NOV. 22-DEC. 21): Some primates use herbal and clay medicines to selfmedicate. Great apes, chimpanzees, bonobos and gorillas ingest a variety of ingredients that fight against parasitic infection and help relieve various gastrointestinal disturbances. (More info: tinyurl.com/primatesselfmedicate.) Our ancestors learned the same healing arts far more extensively. And many Indigenous people today still practice this kind of self-care. With these thoughts in mind, Sagittarius, I urge you to spend quality time in the coming weeks deepening your understanding of how to heal and nurture yourself. The kinds of "medicines" you might draw on could be herbs. Or, they may also be music, stories, colors, scents, books, relationships and adventures.

CAPRICORN (DEC. 22-JAN. 19): The mythic traditions of all cultures are replete with tales of clashes and combats. If we draw on these tales to deduce what activity humans enjoy more than any other, we might conclude it's fighting with each other. But I hope you will avoid this normal habit as much as possible during the next three weeks, Capricorn. I encourage you to actively repress all inclinations to tangle. For now, I believe you will cast a wildly benevolent magic spell on your mental and physical health if you avoid arguments and skirmish -

AQUARIUS (JAN. 20-FEB. 18): Is there a person who could serve as your Über Mother for a while? This would be a wise and tender maternal ally who gives you the extra nurturing you need, along with steady doses of warm, crisp advice on how to weave your way through your labyrinthine decisions. Your temporary Über Mother could be any gender, really. They would love and accept you for exactly who you are, even as they stoke your confidence to pursue your sweet dreams about the future. They would be supportive, inspirational, reassuring and invigorating. They would champion you and consecrate you.

PISCES (FEB. 19-MARCH 20): Congratulations on acquiring the Big New Riddle! I trust it will inspire you to grow wiser and kinder and wilder over the coming months. I've compiled some clues to help you unravel and ultimately solve this challenging and fascinating mystery. 1. Refrain from calling on any strength that's stingy or pinched. Ally yourself solely with generous power. 2. Avoid putting your faith in trivial and irrelevant "benefits." Hold out for the most soulful assistance. 3. The answer to key questions may often be, "Make new connections and enhance existing connections."

HERE'S THE HOMEWORK: Name three wonderful things you want to be experiencing one year from today. {in}

© 2023 Rob Brezsny

CLOTHING OPTIONAL Police in Mesa, Arizona, responded to the One Life Church on April 16 after receiving a call about a naked man in the church's baptismal fountain, AZCentral reported. Officers said Jeremiah Sykes, 20, was asked to leave repeatedly but wouldn't comply; he then wrapped himself in a blanket and wandered about the property. Sykes told officers he was baptizing himself. During his booking procedure, he punched two officers, compounding his charges.

WRONG PLACE, WRONG TIME Shivdayal Sharma, 82, died in a freak accident in the Alwar region of India on April 19, LBC reported. As Sharma urinated near a train track, a Vande Bharat express train struck a cow, launching it 100 feet into the air before it landed on him. Sharma was killed instantly, and another man narrowly escaped being hit also. Ironically, Sharma worked at Indian Railways before retiring 23 years ago. Officials are calling for metal fencing to keep cows away from the tracks, along with the removal of garbage and vegetation.

IT'S A DIRTY JOB The Blackpool Zoo in England is hiring! Wanted: "A team of people to join our Visitor Services team as 'Seagull Deterrents.'" You, too, can dress up in a large bird costume and scare away pesky seagulls, which steal food from both visitors and animal enclosures. The Daily Mail reported that candidates must be "outgoing, as you need to be comfortable wearing a bird costume," and hours will be variable.

THE PASSING PARADE On April 19, Viktoria Nasyrova, 47, of Brooklyn, New York, was sentenced to 21 years in prison for a bizarre plot she cooked up against a lookalike friend from Ukraine, NBC News reported. Nasyrova wanted to avoid being sent back to Russia, where she faced charges in a 2014 murder, according to the Queens district attorney's office. So in 2016, she laced a cheesecake with phenazepam, a powerful toxin found only in Russia, and fed it to her "friend." The victim survived, but her Ukrainian passport and $4,000 in cash were stolen. Nasyrova's attorney said that she will likely be deported after serving her sentence.

THE CONTINUING CRISIS In Carmarthenshire, Wales, residents have responded to the condition of a rural road that they describe as the "worst in the county" with a clever road sign, Wales Online reported on April 27. "Caution: Remove dentures. Adjust bra straps. Secure your nuts," the sign reads. Abergorlech Road is full of potholes, and while some have been filled, residents believe "the road is so worn and damaged that it requires complete resurfacing in many places," a spokesman said. "Whilst the sign is intended to be funny, the constant wear and tear on our vehicles is a real issue." The Carmarthenshire Council contends that there is no money budgeted for resurfacing, but residents say it's "ironic that the police can check our vehicles to ensure that they're

By the Editors at Andrews McMeel

safe for the road, but no one is ensuring that the road is safe for our vehicles." Maybe it's time to call the Terminator.

AWESOME! Seventh-grader Dillon Reeves of Warren, Michigan, is being hailed as a hero after he came to the rescue of a wayward school bus on April 26, ABC News reported. Reeves noticed as he was riding the bus home from school that the driver was "in distress." Superintendent Robert D. Livernois said the student "stepped to the front of the bus and helped bring it to a stop without incident. I could not be prouder of his efforts." The bus driver had lost consciousness; emergency personnel tended to the driver, and students were delivered home on another bus.

•King Charles III's coronation is only days away, and while the royal family will be shuttled to and fro in gold-clad carriages drawn by fine white horses, the average Londoner will be on foot. Or ... you can hire a horse-and-carriage Uber! Metro News reported on April 27 that the Coronation Carriage will operate May 3 through 5 in Dulwich Park in London; the fancy carriage is fashioned after the royal vehicle and features a plush interior with embroidered cushions and throws. Even more posh, Uber will donate money from the rides to Spana, a U.K. charity that supports the welfare of working animals.

INEXPLICABLE The Madison County (Texas) Sheriff's Office is investigating the mysterious mutilations and deaths of six cows spread over three counties, Fox News reported on April 22. The cows were found along a highway with their tongues cut out, but strangely, no blood had been spilled and there were no signs of the cattle struggling. Furthermore, investigators said, the carcasses had lain undisturbed by scavengers for several weeks. All the cows were found in the same position: lying on their side, with the face cut along the jawline and the tongue neatly removed. There were no discernable tracks in the area, sheriff's officers said. They're working with other law enforcement agencies across the U.S. to identify similar incidents.

•The Coniston Tavern in Nuneaton, England, is allegedly haunted by the ghost of a former drinker there, according to the landlord, Andy Gadsby. Fox News reported that on April 24, CCTV video captured an incident where a beer glass suddenly exploded, showering three pals with shards of glass. Earlier, at the same table, a different customer's glass suddenly slid to the floor. Gadsby said the ghost is Dave, who used to live in an apartment above the pub. "One night he drank a bottle of brandy and had a heart attack and died," Gadsby said. "Maybe his spirit is around the pub and he's desperately trying to pinch people's drinks. The two incidents have spooked people out." {in}