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13 February 2015

Jimmie Franklin

LGBT History Month: Internalised Homophobia See Page 7

Issue 10.10

Katyanna Quach Romance in the natural world

See Page 11

KENT UNION RANKED RED:

Are policies restricting our free speech? Ruby Lyle Newspaper News Editor

ent has been ranked red, according to the Free Speech University Rankings (FSUR) released by Spiked. Using the traffic light ranking system, the University of Kent has also been marked as amber for its dignity at study policy, regulations for the use of information technology (a student is not allowed to use their Kent IT account to create or circulate any material which may cause offence), and the code of practice to ensure freedom of speech (which specifies no “actions and language which are needlessly offensive and provocative”). The Union, however, has fallen in the red category, primarily due to its No Platform Policy (NPP). Megan Wells, Vice-President (Welfare) said: “We believe our NPP prevents people who have distasteful views and beliefs from having a platform on campus to promote and propagate their views – this protects people who may otherwise face victimisation, discrimination and hate crime.” Kent ranks red alongside 46 other universities out of 115 in total in the UK. Canterbury Christ Church University, in contrast, is a green university. Spiked defines

this as a university which “has a hands-off approach to free speech”. Of all 115 universities, only 20% are green. Dr. Joanna Williams, Programme Director for the PGDip/MA in Higher Education as well as a tutor on the ATAP/ PGCHE Programme, talking about the contrasting policies of the two universities, said: “It’s really complicated, in some cases, I think it’s, perversely, as sign of students being more interested, more engaged, that they ban more things, ironically, and so are more likely to get the red policy. “So sometimes, the green policy isn’t necessarily that, ‘the students here are so wonderfully in favour of free speech”, it sometimes might be just a sign of apathy that they haven’t bothered to get round to banning anything yet, and that if they thought about it, they would.” The FSUR statistics revealed 80% of all universities censor free speech and that students’ unions tend to be far more restrictive than universities. The rankings have been released with links to the Down with Campus Censorship! campaign which is attempting to challenge restrictions to free speech on campus. To read more, visit InQuireLive.co.uk.

Photo by Josh Janssen

News Editor’s Note

The time to vote for your Kent Union Sabbatical Team is almost here.

Bonjour à tous et à toutes, J’espère que votre semaine se passe bien. On approche la Saint Valentin donc trouvez-ici des articles sur le sujet. Que faire en couple, que lire ou regarder si vous êtes seuls? La réponse se trouve dans Features, Culture et Entertainment. Je vous écris cette fois en français parce que parfois l’équipe InQuire se demande si vous lisez le journal en entier ou pas. Si vous comprenez, envoyez-nous un e-mail et vous recevrez un prix. Sincèrement, Emma InQuireMedia

2014/2015 Editorial contacts: Natalie Tipping - Chair chairwoman Emma Shelton - Newspaper Editor newspaper.editor Emily Adams - Website Editor website.editor Newspaper: Ruby Lyle- News newspaper.news Ginny Sanderson - Comment newspaper.comment Katyanna Quách - Features newspaper.features Julia Mitchell - Culture newspaper.culture Meg Weal - Entertainment newspaper.entertainment Fraser Whieldon- Sport newspaper.sport Website: Georgina Coleman- News website.news Dave Cocozza - Comment website.comment Cerys Thomas - Features website.features Grace Beard - Entertainment website.entertainment Natalie Turco-Williams Culture website.culture Henry Sandercock - Sport website.sport

Positions Vice-President (Activities) Kent Union’s lead Officer for campaigning to promote, defend and develop nonsporting extra-curricular activities for students. Works with the University and other organisations to provide a variety of volunteering opportunities.

Empowers and supports the volunteers who run the Union’s Societies, RaG, and Student Media Groups. A Director of Canterbury Youth Student Media, the limited company which owns the Student radio station CSR FM.

Vice-President (Sport) Lead Officer for campaigning to promote, defend and develop the range of sports and physical activities. Works with the University’s Sports Department to improve and increase access to sporting facilities and

opportunities for students. Works with Canterbury Christchurch Student’s Union to organise annual sporting events. Empowers and supports the volunteers which run the Union’s Sports Clubs.

VicePresident (Education) Kent Union’s lead Officer for academic representation and educational campaigning. Works with University departments and sits on committees. Empowers and supports the Union’s Faculty, School and Course Reps.

Kent Union President

Leadership for Kent Union. Main ambassador and external spokesperson for the Union. Works with senior members of the University, Canterbury City Council, local MPs and other external stakeholders. Supports and empowers the team of Full-Time Officers and Part-Time Officers. Works closely with the Union’s senior management team. Member of the University Council, Senate, and the Finance and Resources Committee. Chair of the Board of Trustees.

VicePresident (Welfare)

Kent Union’s lead officer for campaigning to defend the rights of and improve the welfare of students. Works with University departments and sits on University committees. Empowers and supports Student Committee Welfare Officers.

Nominate yourself!

o get involved, a student must visit Kent Union’s website, where they can find the information for the leadership elections 2015. Students can learn about the roles on offer and take part in a quiz to find out which position suits them best. To nominate themselves, a student must select which position they are applying for and enter their manifesto. If a student wishes to recommend another, they should state why their candidate would make a great Full-Time Officer for Kent Union.

How to vote

o vote by a secret ballot, students may participate either from home or at The Venue. When voting, students select their favoured candidates in order of preference for each position open. If a student does not favour any candidate in the category, they may choose to select the re-open nominations (R.O.N) option.

Irene Antoniou Distribution distribution LaShanda Seaman Promotions and Events events Tina Stavarianou - Design design add @inquiremedia.co.uk

Nominations close 17 February and your chance to vote begins 5 March.

News

Canterbury streetlights back on Ruby Lyle Newspaper News Editor

treetlights across Kent are to be switched back on, following a reversal of position by Kent County Council (KCC). KCC plans to convert Kent’s 120,000 lights to more energy efficient LED options, which will cost £40 million. This is to begin later this year, or possibly early 2016, with the expected completion date to be 2019. 2,500 streetlights were previously turned off after midnight in residential areas, including Roper Road, which runs parallel to Forty Acres, to save £1 million. The new bulbs are expected to reduce KCC’s lighting bill by 60%. Daniel Hicks, a second year

student, stated: “It seems like a caricature into the inefficiencies of local government. Instead of saving £1 million by switching streetlights off, it is costing the tax payer £40 million and four years to switch them back on!” The lights were originally intended to be off for a trial period of May 2014 to May 2015, barring major protests. However, on 30 January, KCC announced their new, energy efficient, plans. The initial switch-off received widespread criticism. Speaking to InQuire in October 2014, Megan Wells, Kent Union VicePresient (Welfare), stated that the actions were “irresponsible of the council” and that money saved should “be put into extra safety measures for the affected areas”.

On the change, David Brazier, KCC Cabinet Member for Environment and Transport, said: “Many residents want all night lighting and this will be

affordable with LED technology while delivering huge savings in energy and carbon tax. Also, LED gives a better, more focussed light that is highly

controllable and economical to maintain. This is great news for Kent tax payers and I am delighted to announce this proposal.”

Photo by Phillip Pendley

Now your Master’s migraine is over A visit from Ireland Rebecca Fatharly

he University of Kent has been allocated 177, £10,000 bursaries (the sixth highest amount in the UK) for taught Master’s students registering for September 2015. The grant does not need to be paid back (if you are eligible for it). Eligibility depends on the area you live in and how much your parents earn, amongst other factors. However, this bursary is only avaliable for one year. From the beginning of the academic year 2016/2017, the government has stated that they will allow UK

postgraduate students (under the age of 30 years) to take out a loan of up to £10,000. It is expected that the money will bring in an extra 10,000 students into postgraduate schemes, which would increase many universities’ student-toteacher ratio. The extra funding will permit undergraduate students to progress to the next academic level, having to take time out of education for jobs to fund their future plans. However, not all of the terms, such as repayment rates, have been finalised yet. Currently, undergraduates

paying £9,000 per year have to start paying back their loan once they are earning above £21,000. This is written off after 30 years. Yet it remains unclear how the new postgraduate loans will be paid back, and whether they will be as lenient as undergraduate repayment schemes, or if there will be more interest. There are economic concerns that need to be addressed before prospective postgraduates get excited at the possibility of a fair loan. Once the government finalise the finer details, then graduates can plan their futures with more accuracy.

Photo by Will Folsom

Otto Ilveskero

aniel Mulhall, the Ambassador of Ireland to Great Britain, gave a speech on Irish diplomacy in the globalised world, in the University’s Beacon Project, Diplomacy @ Kent, on 2 February. Ambassador Mulhall, who has worked for the Irish Department of Foreign Affairs since 1978, was appointed as the Irish Ambassador to Britain in September 2013. Before his current position, he held diplomatic posts representing Ireland in cities such as New Delhi, Berlin, Kuala Lumpur, and Edinburgh. The hour-long session was divided into two segments beginning with the Ambassador’s speech, which was followed by a Q&A. Mr Mulhall’s speech addressed the changes he has experienced within the world of diplomacy in relation to his native country. “The Ireland I represent today is a very different country from the Ireland I represented 35 years ago,” he recalled Ireland’s changes throughout those years. Another change had to do with diplomacy itself. To him, the world today involved a more public form of diplomacy. In the 1980s, diplomacy was done with other diplomats in a “confined environment”. Mulhall also

commented that diplomatic emphasis shifted from politics to more on economics. He then moved on to speak about the British-Irish relations and the EU. He noted the improved relations between the UK and Ireland, that has led to a new joint visa scheme between the countries. However, he continued that Britain’s possible exit from the EU was a “cloud” upon the relations and that this could possibly lead to losses, both economic and political, for both states. The changing situation could also lead to “complications” in Northern Ireland, he warned. In terms of global relations, Ambassador Mulhall put importance on Ireland’s role in the UN, including cooperation in peacekeeping and development. He also saw Irish culture and authors as assets in representing Ireland in the world. During the Q&A, Mr Mulhall answered questions ranging from The Troubles, to the European economy. He also defended the low corporation tax in Ireland. In addition to public speaking, the Ambassador is also an avid user of Twitter and will be tweeting a quote by William Butler Yeats every day this year to commemorate the 150th anniversary of the Irish poet.

News

Freedom of speech at universities in danger Your news Sarah Osborne

heresa May, the UK Home Secretary, has recently announced her plan to bring in a new law: The CounterTerrorism and Security Bill. The Bill is composed of nine

Exceptions for universities? Ruby Lyle Newspaper News Editor

ent’s Vice Chancellor, Dame Julia Goodfellow, along with 23 other Chancellors and ViceChancellors, has signed a letter to The Times, which calls for the government to make an exemption for universities in the CounterTerrorism and Security Bill. The letter argued that the proposed bill would negatively impact academic freedom at universities, particularly in relation to pre-existing university policies. The signatories highlighted

Comedian cancelled Alice Taylor

he feminist comedian, Kate Smurthwaite, has had her gig at Goldsmiths University cancelled after threats to picket the event by the Feminist Society. Protesters justified their objection on the grounds that Smuthwaite was “the wrong type of feminist”. Smurthwaite had intended to speak on free speech in her performance. However, concerns over safety and security at the event meant that Goldsmith’s Student’s

principal elements, designed to combat the threat from Islamic State (IS) fighters. The Bill includes: barring returning terrorists from the UK, monitoring the Internet, and civil liberties, preventing travel abroad, and placing Terrorism Prevention and Investigation Measures on terror suspects. their current cooperation with the Prevention Strategy, which already exists, to help avoid the development of terrorism and radicalisation on campus. They argued that the bill “may indeed be counterproductive, causing mistrust and alienation”, and that university independence from the government is necessary. The letter stated: “This would safeguard the unique status of universities as places where lawful ideas can be voiced and debated without fear of reprisal.” Fears over this bill in relation to universities have not been restricted to the 24 Chancellors and Vice-Chancellors. Over 500 professors have also written to The Guardian beseeching Theresa May to reconsider Part Five. Union and the venue’s Event Manager were forced to intervene. Previously, Smurthwaite has included sensitive topics in her comedic commentary. It was her support for the Nordic model of prostitution which lead to the outcry from the feminist group. Although the society has denied involvement in the decision to cancel the show, Smurthwaite posted screen shots in a blog post from a union official, who used the comedian’s past controversial material to justify the cancellation of the show. Smurthwaite has reached out to the Feminist Society, offering them free tickets. The society has not yet responded.

The Bill bans insurance companies from paying terror ransoms (in the belief that they fuel further kidnapping). There is also a new statutory duty on colleges, schools, prisons, probation providers, police and councils to “prevent individuals being drawn into terrorism”. Campus terrorism, which falls

under Part Five of the Bill, has come under a fair amount of protest since its proposal. This part of the Bill could pose a threat to universities and schools between teacherstudent relationships, as a result of a possible breach of confidentiality. Universities will have to enforce antiextremist speaker policies.

Denying a platform to extremist speakers, especially Islamists, has already been fraught with difficulty for a number of years. If the universities consistently ignore this new law and allow those with extremist views to talk on campus, ministers will be able to issue instructions, enforceable by a court order.

Photo by Adam Fagen

Your comment Ginny Sanderson Newspaper Comment Editor

he concept of freedom of speech has been batted around a lot lately. If we were American it would be the second amendment, somewhat of a trump card, excusing all other behaviour or consequence. Free speech does not mean anyone can have a platform. You can’t (and shouldn’t) insight violence, racism, misogyny, homophobia, transphobia, or any other reductive beliefs. If a newspaper, for instance, chooses not to publish an article, that is very far from an attack on free speech. Sharia Watch UK has found that extremist groups are holding talks at universities across the country on an “unprecedented scale”. Such speakers are believed to hold homophobic, anti-Semitic and misogynistic views.

According to the report, Learning Jihad: Islamists in British Universities, a number of students from universities across the country have been charged with acts of terrorism. This includes a student at the London School of Economics, Omar Sheikh, who has been convicted of the murder of an American journalist. So there is ground for concern, which is no doubt why Theresa May is pushing this new law. But all of this is not to say that radical, perhaps offensive, ideas shouldn’t be heard. And, as our Vice-Chancellor has rightly supported, universities are the place for challenging debates. This law does not simply stop at the threat of ISIS. The Extremist Disruption orders include anyone simply speaking about ideas to “overthrow democracy”. So would the esteemed intellectual and Man Booker Prize winner Arundhati Roy, who has written books on the failures of democracy, be banned from speaking at our

university? In terms of the Goldsmiths University debacle, the comedian was free to believe whatever she wanted. The Feminist Society equally had a right to protest the comedian, however misguided. The University’s decision to cancel the gig was a little dramatic but, in the interests of safety, they too had a right to shut it down. I don’t consider this as much a travesty of free speech as it is a failure of judgement. Goldsmith’s Fem Soc actually voted on the picketing and the majority were against. To then protest anyway defeats the point of the democratic vote (watch out, anarchy!). The whole thing was a bit of a shambles. University is a time to broaden the mind and discuss contentious and avantgarde ideas. For a party that criticises the ‘nanny state’, the Conservatives seem to be meddling a lot in public affairs. In this situation, these have been, and should continue to be, decisions made at the University’s discretion.

Comment

Rutherford and Eliot kitchens campaign Ginny Sanderson talked to Eliot President, Andreas Payne, on his continued efforts to improve kitchen facilities for UKC students, while Manon Charles gives us her opinion on the issue. Photos by Stephen Burke.

Interview

meet Andreas Payne in the cosy Eliot Committee room. He’s a second year Politics and International Relations student, who juggles his degree with being Eliot President. First things first, what was his personal experience in Eliot? “Generally good. The main problem was the lack of a kitchen. They’re atrocious. And the fact that you only get breakfast rather than any other catered meal, with no facilities to cook your own food really. There’s a microwave but that’s pathetic.” With the microwave comes a kettle and a small undercounter fridge. There is no freezer or cupboard space. Cooking was a “massive challenge” for Andreas, who is a keen cook but admits he ended up spending more and more money on eating out in first year. Mungo’s? I ask. That or a takeaway. “You then pay for [this] later on in the term when you’re out of money.” Andreas continues, “there’s the added fact that there’s no social space. The kitchen is literally the width of a standard door, and about as deep. We used to sit on the floor of the corridor, which is no good at all”. Payne is working with

the Eliot and Rutherford Committees, as well as Union President Tammy Naidoo, to improve kitchen facilities in both colleges. So, how’s the campaign going? “It’s going really well, we ran [a] survey last term and had our pop up kitchen on the plaza; we got well over 500 responses.” The survey was open to all students in order to show a “disparity between satisfaction ratings in Eliot and Rutherford over other [places] on campus”. The findings from the survey confirmed what they already thought: Eliot and Rutherford students are not happy with the facilities. On 3 February, Andreas worked with Tammy to run a focus group in the Student Media Centre. This was aimed at hearing Eliot and Rutherford students’ views on the kitchens. The findings from the survey and focus group will be presented in a report which will be sent to the pro ViceChancellor and the ViceChancellor of UKC, which should be ready by Easter. How did he find working with Tammy? “Everything’s been great,” he says. The kitchen campaign was something both he and Tammy used in their election manifestos, an important issue for them both.

So, what are Payne’s plans for the kitchens? “Long term, my goal is to get a proper kitchen facility in there. However, I understand that that is not something that can happen over one summer holiday, it’s something that will be a considerable expense, so I’m quite happy to see that as a long term plan.” Long term, the University may move all academic departments out of both colleges entirely. This would allow space for more students to live there, but also for muchneeded kitchen renovations to be made. In the mean time, Andreas has expressed an interest in working with Kent Hospitality to arrange a change in the catering situation. To him, having breakfast as the only catered meal is a mistake. It’s much easier to keep cereal or milk. Plus, it’s only served until 9am on weekdays. “To be honest, students don’t wake up in time for that. If you have a 9am, chances are you’re going to roll out of bed at quarter to.” Payne would suggest changing the meal to dinner on weekdays and keeping the hangover ‘brunch’ until 1pm on weekends. He feels this will add little to accommodation costs, and may even make up for the amount of money Rutherford and Eliot students

Your comment

e’ve all heard the horror stories about Rutherford and Eliot accommodation, so it’s not a surprise that Kent Union have recently been campaigning for the improvement of the kitchen facilities found in these halls of residence. But how would this impact the lives of the students who live there? When I arrived at Kent and walked into my corridor in Rutherford for the first time, I wasn’t quite sure what to think. I could deal with the prison-like feel of the building and the coldness of the long corridor I lived on, but when

are forced to spend on ready meals. In terms of social space, he suggests utilising unused spaces such as scullery cupboards for a larger refrigeration space. These are not permanent solutions: “To be clear at the moment it’s just not acceptable.” The University have argued that both colleges offer cheap, affordable accommodation. However, “the cost is not that much less than going to a Parkwood House. Yet, what we probably spend on food would put the cost above, in my opinion. “Therefore the cost argument, in my mind, just doesn’t add up. Forgetting the social side,

and the welfare side. I mean there’s no social space, you eat in your bedroom, which is not the nicest way to do things.” He says, “it just gets rather miserable”. Another point that he raises is that, despite being fully catered, Beckett Court and Keynes have superior kitchenette facilities to the existing Rutherford and Eliot ones. “It’s ridiculous”. Finally, I wrap up by asking him what other plans are in store for Eliot in the following months. “Our main focus is the roller disco.” Taking place on 24 February, the event follows last year’s successful fundraiser, raising money for local charity CanterCare, among others.

I saw the size of the kitchen, I was speechless. For those of you who have not resided in Rutherford or Eliot during your time at Kent, let me explain to you the struggles we faced. Our ‘kitchen’ was more like a glorified cupboard that included a tiny fridge (to be shared between six to eight people), a microwave, four cupboards and a sink. There was no oven or hob, so we had to be very inventive with our microwave. If microwavecooked pasta bake is your thing, I’m your gal! Granted, Rutherford and Eliot are part-catered accommodation, which means they provide breakfast for you in Rutherford Dining

Hall, or if you prefer, £2 off your dinner at night. But the lack of kitchen facilities means you miss out on one of the most vital parts of the university experience, which is moving away from home and learning to cook. A better kitchen would not only save students money (they wouldn’t have to buy dinner from Rutherford Dining Hall every night – something which adds up expenses over time), but it would also allow them to learn vital life skills and experience some kitchen disasters of their own. This is why I fully support the campaign to get better kitchens in Rutherford and Eliot accommodation.

Comment

Female Bishops are great, but will Christianity ever be truly equal? Cecily Rowland

anuary 2015 will henceforth be regarded as a month of great historical significance for the Christian church. This follows the ordination of Libby Lane as the first female bishop to the Church of England.

“religion, as it exists today, needs to be rewritten”

be undervalued or overlooked. It is unclear, however, as to whether events of this nature should be viewed as building blocks leading to an eventual state of equality between the sexes, or whether in attempting to disassociate religion from its consistently patriarchal attitude, modern society is

merely fighting a battle we have no hope of winning. These texts can be considered as works of literature, and so are open to literary criticism. Every English Lit student can hold their hands up to, at some point, having taken a quote with seemingly little to do with their argument, and

The 48-year-old Reverend joins the ranks of the 30 female Anglican bishops worldwide, as a result of legislation passed last November, following decades of dispute. The ceremony took place at York Minster for an audience of 1,000 people, and went off without a hitch, with the exception of a single incident when fellow Reverend Paul Williamson felt the need to cry out “not in the bible”. The effects of such a feat in terms of the treatment of women within the institute of religion should by no means

having managed to interpret it in a way which goes on to completely define their point. This happens a lot within religious dialogue. What needs challenging is the idea that humans are defenceless against religion. Essentiallu, it seems to be a big ol’ list of restrictive rules,

Photo by Barnyz

rules which stem from archaic interpretations of texts which may hold no actual validity as to the word of God in the first place. Yet, in attempting to alter the face of religion to something inclusive of all members of our community, the very nature of religion, as it exists today, would need to be entirely rewritten. Religion has unfortunately come to cater for a bunch of now outdated views. In my opinion, it is unthinkable that our interactions with it should not be re-examined. If this happens to change the face of religion to such an extent that it no longer holds the same presence in society, perhaps this is simply the natural evolution of it in the first place. Do you have an opinion on this or any of the other articles in this section? Perhaps you’d like to pitch your own article. Join InQuire and get your opinions heard by emailing newspaper.comment@ inquiremedia.co.uk

Noise complaints are down: are we boring students? Following information released by Canterbury City Council stating that noise complaints are down in the Canterbury region, Shalyia Thasan wonders whether it’s not that students have become boring,but that they’re breaking their disruptive stereotype.

ver the years, it seems the students of the University of Kent have become either increasingly boring or are just rejecting the rowdy student reputation, according to a Freedom of Information request made to Canterbury City Council. This found that as the number of students has increased between 2010 and 2014, the number of complaints has decreased. Now, rather than presuming that we students have simply become boring, I think there is more to it. Instead, we are betraying the stereotype. It’s not just us who play a part in this either, the evolution of the student and resident

relationship has clearly progressed well. Residents in Canterbury are generally friendly and don’t mind students living in the area. I myself have exchanged smiles with many of them when walking to and from town and this is where the idea of evolution comes into it. The University has been around for many years, meaning both the residents and students have adapted to each other and built a level of respect. Therefore we are not boring but respectful. Canterbury students have clearly had some wild nights out, whether it be on campus or in town. I feel that we are most aware of noise when walking to and from

clubs. We are far more aware of our neighbours and residents in the area than people think. Living in off-campus housing during second and third year also makes students aware of our neighbours, especially

those with children or elderly people. I recently went to a house party the other day, where the front door was consistently kept closed throughout the night. This was in consideration for their

neighbours. Ultimately, students have simply out-grown the loud, disrespectful stereotype that has been associated with us for a while now. We are more mature than we get credit for.

Photo by Denise Rowlands

Comment

What Grinds my Gears Valentine’s Special

Manon Charles

Consumerism- the most obvious annoyance is the price of the Valentine’s weekend. Halfway through February, restaurants feel the need to raise the prices of their menu extortionately. Top tip for students - wait ‘til 15 February and buy your chocolates for half the price!

LGBT History Month

As we celebrate its history Jimmie Franklin brings to light the issue of internalised homophobia and the pressing demand for it to be addressed.

t seems a given these days for people to have downloaded dating apps like Tinder. Not so much because they want a relationship, or to date, or even to have sex, but simply to feel good about themselves when they get a match with someone who is marginally attractive. It seems no different in the gay community – I myself do feel reasonably satisfied when a 20-something, handsome man matches with me. Of course, it’s a bit hopeful to expect dates, but it’s nice to know you have the opportunity. Something I continuously

Metro, it was found that 42% of young gay and lesbian people sought medical help for depression and anxiety, and as many as 44% have considered committing suicide. These worrying statistics run parallel with the descriptions used on dating apps – sadly, it seems that despite outside tolerance, our community is struggling to accept itself. Gay men are regularly subjected to conversation which labels them through their sexuality: ‘overly gay people like you’; ‘this is my gay friend’. Though no harm is meant by these comments,

the beacon of power that the ‘doctor’ has. In this sense, patriarchy creates a stigma toward femininity that a noticeable segment of the gay community embraces. Such is highlighted through reactions to Alan Carr’s recent PETA campaign. This portrayed Carr with pink wings, a wand of the same colour and, in bright lettering (also pink), invited us to “be a little fairy for animals.” This created a colossal backlash on social media. “Sadly, as much as I love @AlanCarr, I do find the PETA ad crosses a line on

Tooth Fairy’. Yes, the Chatty Man host is incredibly camp in character, but why should we instantly put that down to sexuality, and respond with such backlash to his choice of expression? Carr personally has never sold himself as a gay man. This is shown by a 2008 interview with the Observer in which he argued that “just because you’re gay and on the telly doesn’t mean you’re a role model. I’m just a comedian”. Above all, this should make us realise that, as a community, certain members of LGBT are persecuting those who choose

Flowers - don’t get me wrong, flowers are great. But around this time of year, it becomes a competition to see who is loved more, judged simply by the bouquet of flowers received. Just remember, size isn’t everything.

Themed nights - now usually, these are a great opportunity to dress up and have fun with your friends. But on Valentine’s weekend, without fail, there will be a traffic light party. Are we not tired of this yet? Mix it up, people!

50 Shades of Grey - the release of the long-anticipated film on Valentine’s Day means that hordes of women will be flocking to the cinema to see Mr Grey in the flesh. And while 50 Shades of Grey will provide the perfect excuse for a girls’ night out (or couples night out), the hype for the film is too much.

Complaining - I myself am guilty of this. But sometimes the people complaining about the day are worse than the day itself. We get it, you hate Valentine’s Day, but it’s only a day of the year - move on!

Photo by Alobos Life

notice on apps such as Tinder and Grindr are the descriptions gay men use. “No queens”, “straight acting guys please (lol!)”, “no camps – you’re a man so act like it”. This concerns me. Would we be using this so freely in our bios if you changed the phrase to ‘no black guys’? Despite a sharp increase in tolerance levels toward LGBT people over the last decade, prejudice still appears to prevail. Moreover, statistics indicate prejudice has a serious effect on the happiness of young LGBT people. In a recent study by the gay rights charity,

I do become ever more selfaware of the ‘gay’ person that I am, and sometimes feel a need to hide it. Why do I, and so many others, feel pressured to repress our sexuality? The reason is obvious when we look at the nature of society. From birth, we see men and women together, so even in a time of ever-increasing gender equality, roles are prescribed to each sex. For instance, a woman is stereotypically seen as a nurse and a man a doctor. This can be translated into the LGBT community, for gay men fear being seen as the ‘nurse’ in society, wishing to instead hold

stereotyping and typcasting us #gay guys,” said one particularly diplomatic Twitter user. Others came across more aggressively: “Anyone find the Peta ad campaign really fucking offensive?” Carr responded to this by pointing out that the most homophobia he gets is from other gay men. Here, internalised homophobia has been ignited by an advert which does not necessarily draw upon stereotypes. In fact, it does not equate homosexuality with being a ‘fairy’. Instead, it is referencing Carr’s stand-up tour, ‘The

to be openly camp - just like our oppressors have for so many years. With this in mind, we must begin education on sexuality far earlier than we do. Due to the blemishes of Section 28, educating the youth on same-sex relationships can be frustrating in education, but it must be integrated from as early as key stage one and two. Learning to tolerate others’ choice of gender expression is vital, even for the LGBT community itself. If we are to be seen as a community, we should act like one as opposed to being the ‘LGBT war zone’.

Features

Things to keep in mind when house hunting Amy Hoang Housing Week from the 26 to the 30 January to help make choosing a place to live next year as smooth-sailing as possible. Included on the agenda was a ‘Housing Advice Session’ on CSRfm, live Twitter chats with professional advisers using the hashtag ‘#HelloHousing’ and the biggest event: the Housing Fayre. If you missed any of these events, don’t fret. Here are a few tips that will help make your house hunting successful. Look for Home Stamp accredited landlords and agents These are agents and landlords who have been approved by the University. The agents and landlords follow a Code of Conduct for fair management of their properties. All of the properties also meet the standard expected from the University. By looking for properties that are Home Stamp approved, you could avoid potential trouble with the landlord later on. Visit www.homestampkent. co.uk/accommodation to see some approved properties. House viewings So you think you’ve found the perfect place online. That’s great, but remember to book a viewing. Houses may actually be different than from how they were described and there is no better way than to check yourself. Bring your new housemates with you too. You may discover potential problems with the house, such as mould. Ask the

agent or landlord to see how they would resolve these problems. Viewings also give you a feel of the property; you may decide you don’t actually like the house; alternately if you do, don’t be afraid to book multiple viewings if needed.

Bills packages or not? Having a bills package usually means you don’t have to worry about paying for the water, gas and electricity, and even the Internet separately. Some packages are already included in with the rent. Some may be available from the landlord, or agent, on top of the rent. If you don’t want to worry about finding your own utilities providers, it is a good idea to search for a property that offers these. Glide is also worth checking out – you only pay your share of the bills: www.glide.uk.com/ However, some bill packages are more expensive than if you manage your own bills separately. For example, a house of five may spend no more than £35 a

month per person on utilities on top of rent, but of course this all depends on your usage. Deposits If you have to pay a deposit for a property, remember to check with the agent or landlord about how they keep it. It has to be kept in a governmentaccredited scheme such as the Tenancy Deposit Scheme otherwise it’s illegal. Finally, housemates… Choose your housemates wisely! These are the people that will be living with you next year. You will be seeing them every single day -if your personalities clash too much, it may be a good idea to rethink your living arrangements. Good luck!

Photo by Kent Union

Be wary of extra costs Most agents and landlords charge admininistration fees, some more than others, so it’s worth looking into Just make sure you don’t get ripped off with an exorbitant amount. On the other hand, some agents do not charge an admin fee but may charge check-in and check-out fees etc. so remember to ask the agent or landlord when enquiring about a property. Don’t spend too much on a house if it leaves you with no money for food, a social life, and bills.

Photo by Angela

InQuire Sudoku Are you alone this Valentine’s? Don’t fret, Sudoku is the best companion.

Medium

Hard

Features

What has love got The season of love has arrived with Valentine’s Day coming up, and here at InQuire, we

The science of love and its exploitation

Sarah Osborne

F Roses are red, violets are blue Here are some love letters, that might have been written for you... My dearest darling, my eyes lock upon you across a crowded room. My lips tingle in anticipation, my mouth salivates with desire. I want you more than anything. But alas, alas you cannot be mine. For you cost more than £1.99 DAMN YOU, DELICIOUS DONUT BASTARD! To the man of my dreams, Let it be me Ever in your thoughts As you are mine Valentine. Everyone says we’re meant to be Have you ever thought that way about me? Everytime I think of you, Romance fills my mind, bus us two Not given a real chance Or otherwise engaged Will never have out chance. Dear mon petit Choufleur I see you everyday, filling your coffee avec nonchalance in Essentials. When your eyes regarde mine next, I will offer you a good roasting aussi. Mwah, je t’adore! Anon My love for you is like the dinosaurs: extinct. I feel my life would be bereft, without my true love Percival Kleft. A frequent, yet elusive, writer for InQuire. To be your wife, I do aspire. You implied I was unintelligent, and overweight. I was supposed to be your girlfriend, not someone you hate. Well, the joke’s on you because you got kicked out of Kent And I’m with a much better person, What is love? Baby don’t hurt me

or over a century, scientists have known that oxytocin the biochemical, is produced in various human behaviours, such as child-birth contractions, child-mother bonding and lactation. Research however, has shown that oxytocin is a hormone strongly present when falling in love. Oxytocin is made in the brain’s hypothalamus, and is transported to and secreted by the pituitary gland located at the base of the brain, acting as both a hormone and a neurotransmitter. Dr Inga Neumaan

claims: “Oxytocin has an impact on ‘pro-social behaviours’ and emotional responses that contribute to: relaxation, trust and psychological stability.” A 2012 ‘love hormone’ study examined oxytocin levels in new lovers and in single people. The study found high levels of the hormone in the first stages of romantic attachment, sustained for periods of around six months. Oxytocin is responsible for producing and promoting the feeling of affection, closeness and intimacy. It is released by both sexes during orgasm; scientists theorise that the more sex a couple has, the deeper their bond becomes. Some

researchers even propose a correlation between the concentration of oxytocin and the intensity an orgasm. This has also been observed in prairie voles. Scientists believe that sex is the prelude to a long-term pair bonding of a male and female, as they indulge in far more sex than is necessary for the purposes of reproduction. When the scientists gave a drug to the males that suppressed the hormones effects, the bond with their partner deteriorated as they lost their devotion and failed to protect their partner from new suitors. So, the mystery of love has been solved -it’s a chemical. Thanks science.

Photo by dreamwhile

Alice Barraclough

t. Valentine’s Day is the perfect time of year for a cynical rant about how overrated and commercialised 14 February has become. But instead of boring you all about how many gallons of wine you should be drinking or even how many tubs of Ben and Jerry’s is acceptable to scoff, I thought I’d turn to science… We are obsessed with love, the subject is prevalent in music, literature and even science. But, has this obsession been taken too far by science?

The discovery of the oxytocin hormone has led to products that are essentially ‘love potions’. One particular form is oxytocin nasal spray. Can a nasal spray really make people fall in love? Even if it can, there is something that makes me feel incredibly uneasy about the whole concept. Perhaps I’m just a hopeless romantic, but the idea of taking ‘love drugs’ in order to feel closer to someone or be better at being in love, sounds kind of absurd. In fact, if scientists really believe they can find a way to emotionally engineer our bodies, they’ll soon be designing

‘anti-love’ drugs so you can just pop a pill to ease the pain of heartbreak. So curing a heavy heart after breaking up with someone becomes as easy as taking paracetemol to cure a hangover! People fall in love in all kinds of weird and magical ways and this should not be reduced to just a pharmacological intervention. Perhaps I’ve been watching too many Nicholas Sparks films and reading too many Bronte novels, but aren’t romantic relationships much too complex and personal for it to be boiled down to a chemical? And shouldn’t love be free from medical tinkering?

What are your favourite fictional ships? Rebecca Fartharly

he term ‘shipping’ in fan culture means wishing that fictional characters would be in a relationship with each other, or if they are in a couple, that they remain so. The couple are given a ‘ship-name,’ which is often an amalgamation of the two character’s names. This is also applicable to real life, but fans tend to do it with fictional characters. There are many ships but my alltime favourite is the tenth Doctor and Rose Tyler from Doctor Who. My love for them must be around nine years old now, even though there have been two new Doctors since. I love how the two characters balance each other out, despite the huge age gap and the obvious difference in physiology. The Doctor expands Rose’s horizons, and in turn she brings him back to Earth. I remember 12-year-old me being glued to the telly every Saturday at 7pm

to watch my favourite couple in their latest adventure. Then came the news in June 2006 that Billie Piper was leaving the show, and I knew my ship was doomed. I was so relieved when the finale aired that she did not die, but at the same time devastated that she could never return from a parallel world. On the other hand, one the ships I hate is Hinny, a.k.a Harry Potter and Ginny Weasley. When I say I don’t like this couple, I mean I hate the film representation of their relationship. I like it in the books, but the films make it so awkward, and the actors playing Harry and Ginny have no real on-screen chemistry. Every time I think about the scene in Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince where they go to the Room of Requirement I cannot help but cringe. There is no real build up to their relationship in the film! Ginny has a very flat representation in the compared

to the book. She is supposed to be witty and bold, but in the film she is posh and polished, which is unrealistic, considering she has the Weasley twins as her brothers. This all makes the romance between them fake and silly.

Photo by Gwyneth Anne Bronwynn Jones

Features

to do, got to do with it? are obsessed with it. What is love really? And where can we find it? Apparently, in our brains and not on Tinder.

From the most romantic to the least romantic animals Katyanna Quach Newspaper Features Editor

ove is a language that is spoken widely throughout the natural world, although some creatures do it better than others. Here we go from the most romantic species, to the least. 1 Lovebirds The term ‘lovebirds’ used to describe any couple cosying up to one another, is actually the name of a real bird. Lovebirds are a type of small parrot from Africa; they are usually a bright green colour and have large beaks that curve down. As their name suggests,

Photo by Ferran Pestaña

they are among nature’s greatest lovers. After the male successfully woos the female, by feeding and grooming her, they immediately begin building a life together by collecting the perfect materials to construct their soft nests. They will never grow tired of one another, and stay monogamous throughout their entire lives,

continually caring for one another and showing affectionate behaviour such as sitting and cuddling their loved one for hours each day. 2 Japanese Pufferfish

Photo by Leos Kral

If David Attenborough was blown away by this animals’ mating ritual then it’s definitely amazing. Known in Japan as the Fugu, this tiny pufferfish was spotted by an underwater photographer, who was shocked to see a beautiful sand sculpture around seven feet wide carved by a five inch fish. By digging his fins in the sand, the male works diligently to create intricate designs that resemble underwater crop circles. He works tirelessly, all for love, for 24 hours over a whole week, to keep the ocean currents from destroying his creation. Females swim by to inspect the patterns and if they happen to strike her fancy, she will swim towards the centre, where they will mate and depart. 3 Moths Female moths release chemicals to attract a potential partner. The pheromeones originate in their

abdominal glands and spread outwards for long ranges. The male moth is able to detect these pheromones and propels himself in search of the female. The sense of ‘smell’ by the use of pheromones during the courting process is nothing special in the natural world and is used by various other birds, snakes and wasps. 4 Students at Kent What odd creatures. Before courtship can begin, both sexes are seen to line up in a queue outside a place called Venue. Once inside, these students proceed to down several alcoholic beverages in a short period of time. This behaviour is continued until they reach a state where their speech is slurred and movement is slow.

Photo by Sean McEntee

Now, they are ready to stagger into the centre of the dancefloor where they attempt to win over a partner by dancing seductively and shouting over the music into one another’s ears. If successful, the couple may stay together and continue the fun well into the night. In the morning, phone numbers are swapped and one of them

walks home alone in last nights clothes. They will probably never meet again but will continually see each other on campus. How awkward. 5 Anglerfish The imbalance of power between males and females is incredibly uneven amongst anglerfish. The female is significantly larger than the male with terrifying protruding jaws that are full of sharp teeth. They also have an odd globule of light that is attached to their dorsal fin and hangs in front of their eyes. The male anglerfish is attracted to this haunting glow, just like Dory in the Finding Nemo scene. But unluckily for males, they literally cannot tear themselves away. Once they touch, the female engulfs the male, and his digestive organs, brain, heart and eyes slowly melt away until all that remains are his gonads -the reproductive organ. He becomes nothing but a parasite and a sperm bank that the female can use at her will. 100% scary and unromantic.

Photo by steve loya

You can’t find love on Tinder and it sucks at University Katie Heslop

he moment occurs about two weeks in to using Tinder. The realisation that the majority of students at university are a tiny bit lonely, and shallow. You also realise that you, yourself are shallow. Tinder is the phenomenon which has brought a new feeling of disdain to the line: “Hey, how are you?” You swipe right if you find them attractive, or if they seem to be interesting (can’t beat a photo of a guy stroking a dangerous animal, or looking pensive on top of a cliff). You swipe left if you find them unattractive or if they look slightly weird. If that person swipes right for you as well, it is a match. The mundane conversations about where you are from and what you study can commence. To me, it seems like there is really only one situation when Tinder can work for you. If you have just experienced a sad

or nasty breakup and you need your ego boosted by a good few matches. There is nothing wrong with that. However, it is not nice when you receive an expletive message from someone you thought looked nice. Although these messages are laughed off with friends, they are still intrusive and unpleasant. Of course, it is possible to meet nice, funny people on Tinder and embark on a relationship with them. I have a friend who met her boyfriend on Tinder, and they have now been together for nine months. However, it seems these occurrences are rare, and most of the time, Tinder interactions just end in awkward glances in the social area in the library. Also, once you have spoken to someone on Tinder, or maybe just matched with them, you suddenly see them everywhere on campus; they cannot be avoided. I was talking to a guy on Tinder on

and off for about two weeks and now, hard as we try, this boy and I cannot avoid each other. I’ve even started being surprised when I don’t see him at Venue. Tinder is also not ideal if you are a frequent user of the gym on campus. My friend recently wailed in despair: “I see everyone I have ever matched with on Tinder when I am on the cross trainer!.” Yes, you will just be innocently working your triceps when suddenly you catch the eye of someone you used to message on Tinder, and you are reminded of late night drunken chats and attempted flirtations. My advice regarding Tinder at university would be to treat it as a sort of game, rather than a tool to find love or sex. Talk to a few people, accept their compliments, maybe even meet up for a drink if you can bare awkward first encounters, but don’t take it further than that, because someone will get

hurt or rejected, and one day you are bound to be standing behind them in the never ending queue at Essentials.

Photo by Nathan Rupert

AM (9AM - 5PM)

PM (5PM - 9PM)

SATURDAY 28 FEBRUARY

SUNDAY 1 MARCH

9am Women’s Volleyball CCCU Sports Centre

10am Netball 4’s CCCU Sport Centre

11am Men’s Volleyball CCCU Sports Centre

12pm Netball 3’s CCCU Sport Centre

2pm Men’s Badminton CCCU Sports Centre

2pm Netball 2’s CCCU Sport Centre

2pm Women’s Badminton CCCU Sports Centre

4pm Netball 1’s CCCU Sport Centre

9am - 9pm Cycling 1’s Surrey

5pm Women’s Basketball CCCU Sport Centre 7pm Men’s Basketball CCCU Sport Centre

Timetable subject to change please check the website for updates

Inquire_DPS_Varsity_2015.indd 1

MONDAY 2 MARCH

TUESDAY 3 MARCH

WEDNESDAY 4 MARCH

12pm Men’s Football 4’s UKC 3G

9:30am Swimming Kingsmead Leisure Centre

11am Women’s Indoor Cricket 1sts Ames Levett Sports Centre

11:30am Equestrian Trenley Park

12pm Women’s Lacrosse UKC Parkwood

12pm Men’s Rugby 4’s CCSU Stodmarsh Playing Fields

12.30pm Men’s Indoor Cricket 2nds Ames Levett Sports Centre

2pm Men’s Rugby 3’s CCSU Stodmarsh Playing Fields

1pm American Football UKC (tbc)

12pm Men’s Rugby 2’s UKC Parkwood 1pm Women’s Hockey 2’s UKC Astro 2pm Men’s Football 3’s UKC 3G 3pm Men’s Hockey 2’s UKC Astro 4pm Men’s Football 2’s UKC 3G

5pm Women’s Hockey 1’s UKC Astro 6pm Women’s Football 1’s UKC 3G 6-10pm Men’s Tennis UKC Tennis/Netball Centre 7pm Men’s Hockey 1’s UKC Astro

3pm Snow Sports Brentwood

1.45pm Men’s Indoor Cricket 1sts Ames Levett Sports Centre 2pm Men’s Lacrosse UKC Parkwood

7pm Trampolining UKC Sports Centre

5pm Women’s Rugby 1’s Canterbury Rugby Club 7pm Men’s Rugby 1’s Canterbury Rugby Club

Please note: No cars are allowed on site. Transport will be provided.

8pm Men’s Football 1’s UKC 3G

05/02/2015 12:31:28

Entertainment

Why is our culture still so high? Keanu Gee

n 1 February, the Gulbenkian held a screening and discussion of The Culture High, featuring UKC Sociology Professor, Alex Stevens. The documentary begins with former US President, Richard Nixon, declaring war in 1971 on “public enemy number one, the issue of dangerous drugs”. The primary target was an emerging cannabis culture that continues to grow despite a generation of anti-drug campaigns and over 15 million related arrests. Issues of legalisation question the existing limits of individual freedoms, the effectiveness of the penal system and the role of the law in protecting us from ourselves. This conversation persists outside of the political sphere despite the mounting evidence that cannabis is not only less harmful or addictive than alcohol or tobacco but also has countless medicinal properties. The question remains unanswered. Why hasn’t cannabis been legalised? The Culture High tackles the question

of legalisation with the combined perspective of professors, physicians, retired lawenforcement officials and even Snoop Dog. Digging deep into the roots of the modern day marijuana debate, unearths the truth beneath the laws that govern both those who support and oppose the existing illegality of the world’s favourite illicit substance. This debate however, is riddled with misinformation on both sides, so I urge you to do your own research and become informed of the issues at hand before making any immediate judgements. “The astounding thing about the war on drugs is how long it’s gone on and how little progress has been made.”

The film indicates how much of a failure the war on drugs has been in its attempt to limit access to marijuana and explains how many very powerful industries have lobbied Photo by Vaporizers so that it may be perpetuated, as they stand to lose a great deal in the instance of decriminalisation. From the media, to the prison industry, to politics - the drug reform debate is financial. For example, the pharmaceutical industry stands to lose millions if cannabis gets the wider medicinal recognition that mounting evidence suggests it should obtain. The Culture High also delves into the possibility of decriminalisation of all drugs, suggesting what is apparent. No

drug can be more harmful for an addict than a prison sentence: incarceration is barely a deterrent for the majority of hard drug addicts that use in order to mask deep psychological pain. They reveal how some states in the US have privately-owned prisons with contracts that include a minimum quota of prisoners that if drug related arrests were to cease, it would put their business in jeopardy. When pressed, few politicians have been brave enough to do more than just laugh off drug reform that the rapidly mounting culture of recreational users, activists, patients and supporters are pushing for. Films such as The Culture High are a product of a conversation that is becoming increasingly difficult for politicians to ignore. In our modern connected world issues can no longer be silenced with misinformation. There is a wealth of independent information at our finger tips that gives us the ability to, like never before, voice our own perspectives and share in a discussion that is as multifaceted as it is crucial to our modern society.

Ex Machina review Who’s really broke? Photo by BagoGames

Jack Hadaway-Weller

n Ex Machina, Alex Garland’s directorial debut, proves that he is not only a magnificent storyteller, but also a tremendous choreographer, as he shapes three truly stellar performances, from polarising characters into a spectacular polished narrative that left me enthralled. The duration of the film takes place in a futuristic household inhabited by technology-giant Nathan (Oscar Isaac) whose company ‘Bluebook’ owns a search engine which is responsible for 97% of the world’s internet search requests. Nathan runs a competition within his own enormous business for a single employee to spend a week with him in his remote visionary mountain habitat. Caleb (Domhnall Gleeson), a coder, wins the contest and from the outset, the relationship between employer and employee is completely different from what he had envisioned. Nathan spends a significant amount

of time becoming intoxicated and working on his project which Caleb finds out to be an artificial intelligence named AVA (Alicia Vikander). A proud Nathan requests that an amazed Caleb assist him in testing whether AVA has a consciousness of her own or whether she is just a detailed machine capable of fooling them into thinking she is human. Trapped without a conduit to the outside world, Caleb begins to question the motives surrounding his arrival and the information he has been presented with. Although both Gleeson and Isaac, who will feature in the upcoming Star Wars sequel, shine as the sensitive yet compelling coding protégé and mysterious yet domineering isolated inventor respectively, it is Vikander who has the greatest effect upon the viewer. Vikander, who will feature in at least seven films debuting this year, delivers a nuanced performance. The uncanny AVA displays intimacy as well as innocence which requests the viewer to question whether they can feel emotion towards a robotic, artificial character, a query brought up within the film itself. Smart, slick and beautifully shot, Alex Garland’s debut film is as creepy as it is thoughtful, imaginative, and tense, as well as in some parts being even sexual Ex Machina is one of the most thought-provoking and exciting pieces of science-fiction cinema from the past 10 years.

Carmela Santaniello

eeds based theatre-company The Paper Birds presented Broke at The Marlowe Theatre in Canterbury, a show exploring money, poverty and class. It was an interesting mix of verbatim and scripted theatre, which merged together well to create an honest portrayal of life on the breadline. Money is always a controversial topic; as students it’s something that makes our eyes water and skin crawl. Broke analysed monetary importance from different viewpoints - from the average consumer to those who struggle to feed their children every day. The main focus was on the character of Sally, played by both Jemma McDonnell and Kylie Walsh, cofounders of The Paper Birds. Often performing in sync as Sally, they showed a raw side to how much money affects a single mother. This was demonstrated in various scenes where Sally interacted with the interviewer and the other actor on stage, creating emotional scenes for the audience. The two actresses multi-roled throughout the performance, with the help of a few simple props, and each time, it was very easy for the audience to empathise with new characters. At first glance, the set was simple, a

child’s bedroom with a bunk bed in the middle of the stage surrounded by toys. However, as the performance progressed, the actors successfully made use of the space, as well as cleverly executed graphics. One of the funniest scenes in the performance was the portrayal of politicians by all three members of the cast, using simply a table and socks. This scene, infused with humour and truth, made politics more accessible to the audience. One of the only downfalls was when the characters came out of role and spoke as themselves, prompting each other to move set or remember their lines. This is typical of The Paper Birds, who believe that it gives the audience a ‘behind the scenes’ feel to the show. But with such a sensitive topic and an enthralled audience, it didn’t seem to work and only took from the intensity. The performance was definitely thought-provoking- I left considering how much money I had spent in the past week; from the Wagamamas I’d had that day to the obscene amount I’d spent on university course books. And I’d be surprised if other audience members were thinking any differently. It left us all with one question on the tip of our tounges: who’s really broke?

Entertainment

The ultimate Valentines Boxset

Valentines Day is a day of two halves - but no matter whether you’re single or loved up this V-Day, Shalyia Arumugathasan has the entertainment boxset for you.

For romance

With Valentine’s Day approaching, and many couples out there trying to plan a romantic night in, figuring out what to do can be hard. That’s why I have created the romantic entertainment boxset. TV Show I have picked a series which has been added quite recently to Netflix. As it is usually hard to decide on one which both you and your other half will enjoy and not get bored of, I have decided to go with the ultimate crowd pleaser, Friends. It is absolutely hilarious and is sure to get you and your boyfriend or girlfriend in fits of laughter. Not to mention there is a vast selection of episodes to pick from. To accompany the romantic mood

I highly recommend the seasons with the beginning of Ross and Rachel’s relationship. But, my favourites are the episodes where Joey learns French and when Ross buys a new sofa!

well. But if a rom-com is right up your street, You’ve Got Mail is the ultimate classic to watch, filled with cheese and Godfather references - what’s not to love?

Movie I feel this is where it gets even harder. Does a romantic night in mean you are obliged to watch a rom-com or a chick flick? No. So the solution is Think Like a Man, a hilarious film following the story lines of four couples. It consists of a great romance plot for the ladies, but also enough humour for the guys to enjoy as

Music The album I have chosen is “My Head Is an Animal” by Of Monsters and Men. Rather than an upbeat album, I felt for a romantic night you need something both relaxing and mellow. This is a great album which you can just sit back and leave to play on loop. Game Finally the game which will complete your romantic entertainment boxset is the same one I chose for a singles night in, Twister! If anything this is perfect for you and your other half to play and get all tangled on the mat. It is a good way to liven up your evening and get you both laughing some more.

Photo by ArieldeMorais

Photo by Ma_Co2013

Photo by Tokyo Fashion Photo by Cora

Photo by robert twain

For singles Whether you’re happily single or wallowing in V-Day loneliness, preparing for a singles’ night in means having to have the best selection of things to watch, listen and do!

Photo by chelsealynn

Photo by GS Andre

TV Show Firstly, a TV series to get everyone interested has to be House of Cards. The series has taken Netflix by storm since 2013 and season 3 is coming out this year. This series has everything required for this entertainment boxset, intense American politics, an incredible performance by Kevin Stacey and also a very addictive plot. The rise of Stacey’s character congressman Francis Underwood is both intriguing and scandalous and will without a doubt have all of you boys and girls hooked. Whether you’re a die hard fan or a HOC newbie, you will love it.

you can dance around to or have good karaoke session with. But the album which I have recently come to love is, Hozier by Hozier. Although the name is unfamiliar to most, the singer is up and coming and made is debut with Photo by Michael Savage his song ‘Take Me to Church’ in this Movie years Victoria Secret Fashion Show. Its We’re the Millers is pretty much perfect for a relaxed, fun night in, not comedy gold. Not only does it get too slow and not too upbeat. funnier every time you watch it, but each character holds an element of Game interest in their own right. The entire Lastly to complete your singles’ night film focuses around a fake family put entertainment boxset you need a game. together to complete a job for the main I have decided to go with a classic, character David Clark. Let’s just say competitive favourite, Monopoly. they are not your conventional family. The bickering already begins when deciding which metal token to be, the Music hat, the aeroplane or maybe even the But you also need something to listen skateboard! Everyone loves it and has to, there are various albums which fun playing it, and it can last all night!

In a band? Making a movie? Fancy yourself as a comedian? Got a successful YouTube channel? We’re interested. Contact newspaper.entertainment@inquirelive.co.uk for more details.

Entertainment

Songs on Repeat Elliot Bayliss Big Sean feat. Drake and Kanye West – “Blessings” On “Blessings”, three of the biggest names in contemporary hip hop combine for one of the hottest tracks of the year so far. Canadian producer Vinylz provides the instrumental for the track, combining high-pitched, slowed down synths with fast-paced, jittering produced drum beats. The lesser known name on his own song, Big Sean lyrically holds his own on the track, sandwiching Drake between two confidently delivered verses before Kanye closes the song. A hype-builder for upcoming Sean release Dark Sky Paradise, “Blessings” is a big name taster of what the rapper has to offer.

Photo by Joe Gall

Gengahr – “She’s A Witch” UK buzz band Gengahr have steadily garnered attention through successful single releases and new track “She’s A Witch” continues to build on this success. Melodic guitars ride over steady drum grooves and bass riffs whilst lush falsetto vocals are tinged with reverb. Psychedelic lead guitar crowns the track, perfectly accompanying the vocal refrain and driving the song in its brief instrumental. “She’s A Witch” is another strong track from the emerging band, carrying their momentum over into 2015. Yak – “Hungry Heart” London newcomers Yak propel themselves onto the scene with single “Hungry Heart”, a loud and unforgettable introduction for the band. Stomping drums clatter through the track accompanied by bass riffs that hold their ground amongst the chaotic cacophony of guitars. Potent lyrics are uttered out between each screamed chorus with an attitude and snarl that fits perfectly with the track’s instrumental barrage. As far as introductions go, “Hungry Heart” is a formidable, aggressive knock-on-thedoor from Yak: expect to hear more from them in 2015.

Pump up the jam With the sporting event of the year on the horizon, Website Sport Editor, Henry Sandercock, offers his motivational songs to get us ready for Varsity 2015.

Photo by Metalitalia.com

Photo by NRK P3

“Black Skinhead” – Kanye West FACT: a recent study found that people who listened to Kanye before job interviews were more likely to be successful. This can easily be translated into the Varsity arena. Whack this track on and awaken the little Kanye that lives inside us all. “Rollin” – Limp Bizkit If you are on the shuttle bus to Stodmarsh or Christ Church’s Sports Centre and fancy something that will get you a little more pumped up than “The Wheels on the Bus go Round and Round”, this is the song for you! “White Noise” – Disclosure This song is basically all about the irritating white noise that starts up whenever CCCU open their mouths to chant, but better. “War Pigs” – Black Sabbath

Photo by Bianca Barrett

Photo bySigried Duberos

Used in a Six Nations advert a few years back, it is guaranteed to get you pumped. The song itself is about the Vietnam War, so, as a sort-of serving suggestion, why not add it to a montage of things being blown up in war films and get doubly pumped up? “C.O.D.” – AC/DC You cannot have a list of tracks to get you pumped up without having AC/DC in there somewhere. This track of theirs is probably not everyone’s first choice for this list but it most certainly will get you pumped. “White Lines” – Grandmaster Flash It is a song about cocaine, but if you’re as innocent as ITV seemingly are, it can be put into a sporting context. Let’s hope UKC remain within them… “Bumblebeee” – Kasabian

Photo by Noa Magger

Photo by indecliner

Kasabian tunes and sporting occasions go hand in hand. With its mix of loud and quiet, this track lulls you into a daze and then shakes you awake violently. Perfect for Varsity. “Get UR Freak On” – Missy Elliott Her recent Superbowl half time performance saw her sales rocket by 2,500 percent. Hopefully, listening to this absolute classic will have a similar effect on our teams. “Swim Deep” – Brolin “I wonder what sport this is aimed at?” I hear you ask. You will not have seen this coming but it is swimming. Let’s hope our swimmers swim and dig deep. “We Are the Champions” – Queen When UKC is inevitably crowned winner for the umpteenth time, we can all link arms and sing along to this classic.

Photo by Phil Sharp

Photo by Francine Souza

Canterbury’s entertainment round-up 11 February – 1 March Shrek the Musical at The Marlowe Hailing from London’s West End, Shrek the Musical has made its way to Canterbury. Being hosted at The Marlowe for a little under three weeks, ‘Shrek the Musical’ promises a performance filled with ogres, princesses and some catchy fairytale songs. 15 February – The Imitation Game at The Gulbenkian Nominated for numerous Oscars, Golden Globes, BAFTA’s and Critics Choice Awards, ‘The Imitation Game’ is a must see with award season in

full swing. Benedict Cumberbatch stars alongside Keira Knightley as his character attempts to crack Nazi codes in 1939. Highly commended and well worth a watch. 15 February – John Smith at The Marlowe Named Young Acoustic Guitarist Of The Year in 2003, John Smith is an acoustic guitar performer not to be missed. Following the release of his new album Great Lakes, John Smith is bringing his guitar and gravelly vocals to The Marlowe for a one-night-only performance, guaranteed to end in rapturous applause.

17 February – Dragtastic at Woolf Seminar Room 5 As part of LGBT history month, UKC’s own LGBT society is hosting ‘Dragtastic’, a night full of makeup, award-winning professionals and tricks of the trade. The evening is free to attend but donations are suggested – all the money is going to charity after all!

Want more entertainment? Head to www.inquirelive.co.uk for up-to-the-minute articles.

Culture

Words of Wisdom Enid Blyton “The best way to treat obstacles is to use them as stepping-stones. Laugh at them, tread on them, and let them lead you to something better.” -Mr Galliano’s Circus “Well, you know what grown-ups are,’ said Dinah. ‘They don’t think the same way as we do. I expect when we grow up, we shall think like them - but let’s hope we remember what it was like to think in the way children do, and understand the boys and the girls that are growing up when we’re men and women.” - The Naughtiest Girl in School “You’re trying to escape from your difficulties, and there never is any escape from difficulties, never. They have to be faced and fought.” - Six Cousins at Mistletoe

The Beaney’s Enid Blyton showcase Banrika Gill

he Beaney House of Art’s Special Exhibition Room is a stark reminder of the childhood I was fortunate enough to experience due to Enid Blyton’s many words of wonder and excitement. Named Mystery, Magic and Midnight Feasts, the exhibition has been housed at The Beaney from 31 January until 19 April 2015, before it continues its UK tour. The exhibition, which celebrates Enid Blyton’s life, is created by Seven Stories, a National Centre for Children’s Books. The room is a delight of colours, and each section is based on a different theme related to Blyton’s life and works. The right side starts with the Famous Five. Visitors are able to see the development of each character and what made the series so popular. Original corrected typescripts, including Five have Plenty of Fun (1954), are displayed alongside illustrations. A cordoned off part also shows the timeline regarding the rise of the Famous Five books. Furthermore, the exhibition proves to be incredibly interactive: a replicated version of Noddy’s car is available for children to play with while watching the cartoon version of Noddy. The excitement continues as I walk into the following room, which brings back my love for boarding schools as they display original typescripts from the Malory Towers series. There is also a dress up section for children who want to fully delve into the characters of the books, as I once would have loved to. It doesn’t just end there, and the exhibition also includes 3D features of gardens

that keep the children entertained throughout the exhibition. Fortunately, it isn’t just children who can enjoy the delights of Enid Blyton’s work. The last section of the exhibition gives us some insight into Enid’s dayto-day life as she successfully tried to manage her work and household. Visitors have a chance to look at personal family photographs, while taking in her famous typewriter. As an elder gentleman said to me when we were reading her business letter: “She had something for everyone and you can see that everywhere in the exhibition”. It doesn’t matter what age you are, from The Family at Red-Roofs to The Secret Seven, the exhibition gives a glimpse of it all.

Photo by Charles Rodstrom

Book review: On Royalty by Jeremy Paxman Karisma Indra

eremy Paxman is undoubtedly one of the most well-regarded broadcasters and television journalists of today. Many journalists, historians and biographers have grappled with the notion of Royalty. After reading many works of a similar nature; it is easy to conclude that Paxman’s is by far the most indiscreet. Indiscretion is often undesirable, however, when it comes to the monarchy, it is perhaps something that is eagerly anticipated. The 21st Century is home to an unhealthy fascination with public figures and celebrities, of which the royalty are some of the most highly regarded. It is perhaps inevitable therefore that we have a salacious interest in the dirty laundry of the royals. That is of course not to say that Paxman’s book is a thrilling exposé of the House of Windsor. In reality, it is an

inside look at how royalty has evolved and developed. Paxman’s narrative is at times rambling and often too dense for easy reading, but fundamentally, Paxman has found the elusive balance of fact and anecdotes. Paxman’s ‘On Royalty’ is a candid look into the aristocratic life of our monarchs. Each chapter begins with an interesting quotation regarding the subject matter of the following chapter, from comments made by Edward VII about his mother Queen Victoria, to Mark Twain’s words on subjects relating to the longevity of the royalty. This book understands the public fascination with the royalty; Paxman’s words paint a picture of the mysteries of the ruling body of Britain. From the traditionalism of Prince Charles to the sarcastic jibes of the Duke of Edinburgh. Paxman has done the unusual; he has shed light on the inner workings of the royal household whilst

simultaneously creating more mysteries for the reader to attempt to unravel. Many others have attempted to write candid works on the monarchy, most fell flat. Paxman’s On Royalty much like his other work The English takes a step back. Something that’s characteristic of Paxman’s narrative, and approaches the subject from a by-stander’s point of view instead of an awestruck subject. This is not to say, however, that Paxman does not have a healthy respect for the Royalty. As someone growing up in the media age it is hard to imagine anything remaining private, the royal family are lucky. While they may get stalked by the paparazzi or be the subject matter of books such as Paxman’s, they are still shrouded in mystery. However, after reading Paxman’s ‘On Royalty’ perhaps I can understand the monarchy better, even if it is just through conjectural anecdotes.

Culture

Read and Avoid Karisma Indra

Read

Dear Lupin by Roger and Charles Mortimer

I’ve noticed that many books featured in this column are written in a traditional format, making ‘Dear Lupin’ a breath of fresh air. This book is in epistolary format, and shows the letters exchanged by journalist Roger Mortimer with his son whose misadventures are the source of much despair for his father. The book is witty, fun and something that will while away the hours. A definite must for a reader looking for British humour.

Avoid

Ulysses by James Joyce

Review: Mobile Library by David Whitehouse Julia Mitchell Newspaper Culture Editor

hen life simply becomes too much to bear, a fictional world can make the perfect escape. At the tender age of 12, this is something discovered by Bobby Nusku, shortly after his new friend Rosa, and her mother Val, introduce him to the mobile library where Val works as a cleaner. A safe haven stacked high with “windows to other worlds”, this library is a literary escape from the hands of Bobby’s abusive father, and the painful longing for the return of his mother. Unfortunately for the three characters, their mobile library is soon closed down for good, and the trio take off on a whirlwind adventure that’s reminiscent of the titles held within the library’s mobile walls. As a girl who grew up visiting my own local library, this book struck a chord with my literature loving youth. There’s no need to have suffered like Bobby to be able to sympathise with the closing of his beloved mobile library, which causes devastation to the characters who loved it so dearly. Their library was a place where they spent time together, and gained access to what seemed to be an infinite number of stories. Without it they were lost, and denied access to the literature that they craved. A familiar story, Whitehouse has reflected truth from our own communities, where funding cuts have made the threat to our own public

libraries very, very real. But it’s not all about the loss of something they loved, and much of the book follows Bobby, Val and Rosa’s adventure across the country in their stolen mobile library. This is the point where the book really began to draw me in, and I enjoyed the fast pace of the character’s story-book-like adventure. None of it is realistic, but that’s part of the charm. As they travel, the three are reminded of the stories they’ve read, filling the pages with diverse literary references: from Steinbeck’s

Of Mice and Men to J.K’s Harry Potter. Val in particular has been given some wonderful bookish quotes: “Every book is a clue about life”, and for a cleaner, shows far more intelligence than stereotypes would usually allow. At its heart, this is a book about stories, and how those that we read, journey with us as we tell our own. Although I definitely enjoyed the story, it took me a good while to warm to Whitehouse’s characters. In theory, it’s easy to see how they fit together so well: Val can speak to Bobby in a way she never could to Rosa, who’s kept younger than her age by an undisclosed disability. In turn, Val fills the mother-shaped void in Bobby’s life, and the three (plus another they met during their adventure) form a patchwork family unit, a “puzzle of people” formed not through blood, but through the bonds they share. This all sounds good on the surface, but it wasn’t until halfway through the book that I actually felt convinced by these relationships. Understandably, they took quite a bit of getting used to. Point of criticism aside, I did really enjoy this read. Bear in mind that if you’re looking for something realistic and true-to-life, then this won’t be the book for you. Pick up Mobile Library if you’re ready for a storybook adventure with a dark twist, and a celebration of the books that shape us. Mobile Library by David Whitehouse, £14.99, Picador

The romance novels you have to read Sarah Osborne

P This is a book that we have all heard our English teachers sigh dreamily about at least once. The merits of Joyce are indisputable, but anyone attempting the mammoth task of reading this book should stop now. No matter how revolutionary Joyce’s stream of consciousness is, most readers will lose themselves within ten pages of this book. It is simply a story of a man, but expresses every single thought he has - a tedious read. Better save your money and read something else.

inning down the best romance books proves difficult when there is such a huge range to choose from. After some consideration, I have chosen my top two love stories which I think everybody should find the time to read – two novels which have been made popular as movies. The first story I have chosen is The Notebook by Nicholas Sparks. The novel describes the story of a pre- and post-World War II couple’s life together; Noah Calhoun and Allison Nelson. The book tells the story of the couple’s blossoming relationship during a summer together, and the later conflicts they faced due to their class differences. There is, I suppose, a happy ending, the story is told by the aged Noah himself, looking back upon his past. Noah is telling the story aloud to Allison, now older and suffering with dementia. In the story, the two lovers overcome their dividing class statuses and

fortunately spend the rest of their lives together. The novel ends on Allison momentarily remembering their past together, and the two of them die in each other’s arms. The second novel I have chosen is P.S. I love you by Cecelia Ahern. The novel begins with Holly Kennedy mourning the loss of her husband Gerry Clark, who recently died from brain cancer. Distraught by Gerry’s death, Holly battles with depression as she attempts to accept his passing. Gerry however,

Photo by Patr!c!a

surprises Holly by planning a series of letters to be sent to her at regular intervals after his death. Every so often Holly will receive a letter written by Gerry, encouraging her to move on, and giving her a task to perform to help her deal with his death. When reading the novel, readers’ emotions clash. Should I feel sad? Should I feel happy? Even though Gerry is dead, he still seems alive because of his letters. Although he dies at a young age and for some people, it would feel like the end of the world, Gerry evokes hope. Gerry sends Holly to Ireland where she meets his childhood friend. The novel ends on the possibility of Holly falling in love again, and she finally comes to terms with her loss. Although ‘romance’ is associated with happiness, these two novels are also known for their tragedy. Readers placed in the characters positions feel love, frustration and heartbreak. Maybe without the tragedy, the stories wouldn’t be so memorable.

Culture

Royal couples throughout history Georgia Goldsmith

he good, the bad, the ugly. Some couples have stood the test of time, whether for the right or wrong reasons. First the ugly. Henry VIII and Catherine of Aragon, or indeed, Anne Boleyn. Married for 24 years, Henry listened to Catherine’s council and she became Queen Regent for six months, successfully securing victory against James IV of Scotland. But was there any love? Enter the Boleyns. Henry became so infatuated with Anne that he was prepared to tear his country apart. Bloodshed and destruction, the dissolution of the Monasteries, the decapitations of his closest friends; Henry did it all, all for a woman who promised him she would give him a son.

But it was not to be, and he removed her head, accusing her of witchcraft, and being under her wicked spell before pursuing his next lover. Fast forward a few centuries and I give you the good. Queen Victoria and Prince Albert had a prearranged marriage where the two fell into a deep everlasting love. Victoria recounted her wedding night in her diaries, “He clasped me in his arms and we kissed each other again and again”. Together they had nine children and supported each other when England was at the height of its Empire. When Albert died, Victoria became a recluse from the public eye for three full years and remained in mourning clothes for 40 years until her death. We’ve had the ugly we’ve seen the good, now time for the bad, depending

on your views of tradition. Wallis Simpson and Edward VIII. Wallis Simpson, an American woman twice divorced, won the heart of the heir to throne. Edward gave up his realm, his family and his home for her. If Edward married Wallis, he was required to sign the constitutional crisis, removing power from the sovereignty, not seen in Britain since the civil war. He chose with his heart, stating in 1936 to the world: “I have found it impossible to carry the heavy burden of responsibility and to discharge my duties as king as I would wish to do without the help and support of the woman I love.” In these three cases love has divided, united, and changed a country. Whatever the outcome, whether successful or not, it can be said that true love conquers all.

Birdy visits the Gulbenkian Fraser Whieldon Newspaper Sport Editor

ocked away in a psychiatric hospital after World War II, consumed by the belief that he is a bird, Joe Garcia takes the lead in Birdy - a highly physical and interpretive performance from the Osborne and What Theatre Company. The physical dimension of the performance really takes precedence here. The second scene is an elaborate and immensely impressive circus performance, complete with gymnasts and a wonderful musical accompaniment. The circus scene also introduces us to two of the most talented performers I have ever witnessed: Sarah Bebe Holmes, the enchanting and versatile Canary Girl, and Matt Devereaux, the circus ringmaster. I could quite honestly write this entire review based on their performances alone, especially Devereaux’s. Both exhibit a range of talents, with perfect choreography. Devereaux provides a welcome comic touch to an otherwise quite serious performance. Bebe Holmes brings a breath-taking array of gymnastic talent. Her Canary Girl routine had the audience gasping and applauding in equal measure. After this dazzling display, it was unfortunate we had to get onto the plot. And the dramatic dimension is under whelming. Although it examines important themes such as the everpresent threat of schizophrenia, as well as the difficulties for people who have to deal with the condition, both the patient and those close to them, the plot fails to really get to grips with the

complexities of these themes. The scene which, interestingly, best demonstrates the internal struggle of the characters, is when Birdy attempts to take flight, only to constantly crash to the ground. This poetic display, set to haunting music, does more for the drama than any amount of talking could do. Chris Towner-Jones, (who plays

and Birdy. If only his performance was more comedic than dramatic. All in all, I enjoyed Birdy. In many ways, it is poorly advertised as a serious World War II psychological drama, with some acrobatics thrown in. What it is, is a wondrous display of gymnastic and comedic talent, with a brilliant cast and crew. Credit goes especially to Matt Devereaux for his comic and musical

Alfonso, Birdy’s childhood friend) is responsible for carrying the plot along. So it’s him who takes most of the flak for the dramatic deficiencies in this performance. Yet, when he isn’t trying to be dramatic, he demonstrates a reasonable comic aptitude. His interviews with Dr. Weiss (played by the brilliant Devereaux), are lighthearted and cheeky, with a witty aside about the inherent homoeroticism of two friends being as close as Alfonso

brilliance, Sarah Bebe Holmes for her acrobatics, as well as Luke Fairhead, whose musical and vocal talents provide such a fitting atmosphere for the different scenes. At only an hour long, and with such a large portion dedicated to plot filler, there is not really much more to say about Birdy. In short, it is a performance which is dramatically under whelming, yet visually exceptional.

Society Spotlight Rebecca Fatharly

Mental Health Group

ental health and the issues surrounding it are finally becoming more mainstream, which is fantastic as the taboo of talking about it is breaking, and stigma is becoming overcome. However, there is still a long way to go. The chances are that you know someone with a mental illness or disorder. It is estimated that one quarter of the population will suffer at some point over the next year; whether you are one of them or know someone who suffers, it is always a good idea to stay informed.

Mental Health Group is a new society on campus, after discovering that there was currently nothing in the way of an active society involved with raising awareness. We are ready to properly launch ourselves into the campus community, with fortnightly meetings to discuss ideas for future events and to hold informative discussions about a particular issue in these meetings. The three main components of the society are fundraising, volunteering and education and awareness. With exciting events coming up, the plan is to provide ongoing volunteering opportunities at the Umbrella Centre in Canterbury. You can gain more information by liking our Facebook page ‘Mental Health Group UKC,’ where we update all our events. Want to see your society in this space? Contact newspaper.culture@ inquiremedia.co.uk.

Editorial

69 Things you should never say to a woman Cerys Thomas Website Features Editor

. Do you have a good relationship with your father? 2. I can practically hear your biological clock ticking away. 3. Feminist? Are you one of those militant lesbians then? 4. Are you going to quit your career when you have children? 5. Are you on the rag? 6. Do you swallow? 7. You’re not really THAT fat. 8. I mean, you have a pretty face but your body has like no curves. 9. Women start getting ugly as soon as they reach their thirties. 10. Wow, you’re like really intelligent, I mean, for a woman. Well done. 11. Women haven’t got the right body type to be good at sports. 12. Shouldn’t you be focusing on finding a man and settling down in your 20s? 13. That shade of lipstick is a bit much. 14. The man isn’t going to buy the cow if you’re giving away the milk for free. 15. You’re a woman and you can’t cook? What’s wrong with you? 16. You can’t have an executive position and be a good parent at the same time. 17. You can’t have a job that pays more than your boyfriend’s, it’ll emasculate him. 18. You don’t have a boyfriend? Does that mean you’re one of those lesbians? (NO GRAN.) 19. It is a woman’s duty to give up her aspirations to help her husband. 20. Are you a hostess with the mostest? 21. Girls don’t watch porn, do they? 22. You study literature? Oh, that’s a nice female subject. 23. Going to Oxbridge? That’s good husband shopping. 24. Maths and Sciences are a male-only subject. 25. Why don’t you pull your hair back? Show that pretty face.

26. Can you try making an effort with your appearance for this event, please? 27. Make me food. 28. Try wearing dresses some time; much more feminine than those awful jeans. 29. Women are bad drivers. 30. Want a promotion? You can just sleep with your boss can’t you? 31. Contraception is the girl’s job. 32. You’d be a great secretary or PA. 33. Aren’t female Halloween costumes meant to be sexy? 34. That isn’t really a femalefriendly career choice. 35. She was asking for it. 36. Dave is such a player; but that Anna, what a slut. 37. But you’re pretty! You can get a better job than that. 38. You should be flattered you have a stalker! 39. Try and find a rich husband, that way you’re set for life. 40. *man pinches woman’s ass* You should be thankful, love. 41. Look sweetheart… 42. Girls have it so much easier. 43. Girls have such a shit taste in music. 44. Tinder was made for girls like you. 45. When’s it due? 46. I have such a big dick, I’ll rip you in two, love. 47. You’re a fucking cow. 48. Why are you being such a bitch right now? 49. How do tampons work? 50. If I were you, I’d be watching what I eat. Your metabolism won’t last forever. 51. Do you want me to sign you up to a dating site? 52. Girls care more about their appearance than men. 53. “Does my bum look big in this?”…”Yes”. 54. You don’t ask out the guy! 55. You’re such a cock tease 56. Can’t you just flirt with the bartender to get our drinks for free? 57. Yeah, my ex loved that band as well. 58. If you won’t sleep with me, will you at least give me a hand job? 59. Well, you have a big appetite don’t you?

60. You’re into necrophilia too, right? 61. Here is where I buried my last girlfriend. 62. *random man squeezes your breasts* HONK HONK. 63. I don’t like licking girls out, so would it be okay if we can just focus foreplay on me? 64. Are they real? 65. You look like you know your way around Ann Summers. 66. I’m gonna make you as sticky as a pudding. 67. Is it alright if I keep the football on during? 68. Do you vote for political parties according to which colour you like best? 69. Not to put you under too much pressure, but your 69

Photo by smile_kerry

Who wants to join the ‘real world’? Not me. Grace Beard Website Entertainment Editor

on’t join the ‘real world’. It’s a trap. At some point, as a student, you have surely had someone gravely warn you that the ‘real world’ bears no resemblance to the University bubble you have been living in. The amount of people who tell you this will quadruple in size by the time you reach your final term of your final year. Rather than making me excited to graduate and begin the rest of my life, the manner in which people talk about the ‘real world’ is downright depressing. The whole concept is steeped in negativity. If you enter it, it’s miserable, and if you don’t, you’re evading the inevitable. But who decided what constitutes the ‘real world’? It is synonymous with adulthood, settling in a 9-5 job and committing to one particular place. So if I decide to continue learning and take up further study after graduating, I’m only putting it off. If I decide to

travel and actually experience the rest of the world, I am running away from it. It seems as though whatever I choose to do outside of the expected lifestyle of getting a job, a mortgage and a pension plan, I am simply avoiding my obligation to join the ‘real world’. To me, there is a glaring irony in this. The ‘real world’ is a widely shared, constructed notion that encourages us to grudgingly enter the rat race under the pretence that we’ve had our fun, and now it’s time to work until we retire, because that’s just the way things go. It’s deflating, and scarily easy to give in to. Instead, I choose to ignore the concept entirely. Up to this point, I’ve always been excited about everything: going on my first girls’ holiday, starting my first part-time job, moving away for University, joining societies, embarking on my year abroad. Now I’ve reached a pivotal point in my life where the choice is mine about what I do next, and there’s absolutely no reason why the excitement should stop there. Life should be exciting from start to finish, shouldn’t it?

Making money is important, but there are hundreds of different ways to do it. Pursuing a career is important, but a career can mean different things to different people. Equally as important is travel, taking up hobbies, doing what you love, establishing friendships, drinking water, wearing sunscreen – you know, looking after number one. Why aren’t these aspects considered ‘real’? There is no part of this fabricated ‘real world’ that is remotely cheerful, and without sounding too cliché, the most important thing you can ever do is work toward your own happiness. Resigning to a souldestroying, fictitious world that tricks us into miserably working for the rest of our lives does not sound like it’s going to make me happy, so I’d rather not, thank you very much. Anyway, no matter what you decide to do, there is always going to be someone who thinks you’ve made the wrong choice. However, much like the ‘real world’, there is no such thing. Your life, and the world you establish for yourself, is absolutely, indisputably real.

Sport

Disability in sport at Kent InQuire discusses improving access to sport for disabled people with the Vice-President (Sport), Nina Mehmi. Have you and the sport teams come up with any initiatives to help disabled people take part in sports? As part of a funding bid that I have put together, one of the requirements was to have an intern that would carry out the research around the demand for different types of activities: Research topics include: where people feel most comfortable taking part in the sport,

to a significant uptake in the amount of disabled people taking part in sports at UKC? I would hope that ultimately this would be the outcome, and also that more people feel comfortable playing sport within a secure and inclusive environment on campus. I would love to see more clubs running regular sessions, with our support, alongside their

“I would love to see more clubs look to actively involve students with disabilities with their club structures.” what time of the day is most convenient. Do you think this will lead

current sessions, which look to actively involve students with disabilities within their club

structures. What is being done at present to help them take part? The current provision for students with disabilities to take part in sport on campus is worryingly low. We currently do not have a system in place that allows for students with disabilities to integrate fluidly into all of the sports clubs on campus. How much will these initiatives cost? The cost of this initiative is ongoing, but for participants it will be kept as low as possible. This will work, hopefully, through linking it with the Let’s Play project, where anyone can take part in sport for just £1 or £2. How will this benefit Team

Photo by Adam Webb Kent and the other sports clubs? This will benefit Team Kent and sports clubs as it will mean we can truly say that we are an accessible sporting union, which allows any student to get involved. In terms of prospective students, it’s reassuring to know that it will

be easy to get involved with a sports club when they go to university. Where can people find out more? To find out more about these issues, either pop in and see me in the Student Activities Centre, or drop me an email at n.mehmi@kent.ac.uk.

Super Bowl XLIX: New England Patriots claim victory against Seattle Seahawks Patrick Kamalu

rguably the biggest sporting event in the US, the 49th Super Bowl certainly provided fans with highly entertaining thrills. The Seahawks were aiming to secure a second consecutive win of the championship, after claiming the first title in their 40 year history in 2014, when they dominated the Denver Broncos to win 43-8. After two drives by both sides amounted to nothing, Patriots’ quarterback (QB), Tom Brady, threw the first intercepted pass of the game. Unfortunately for Seattle, their cornerback, Jeremy Lane, broke his wrist in the process and subsequently missed the rest of the game. Despite the high octane start to the game, the first quarter did not offer much, as it finished scoreless. It was the Patriots, however, who opened up scoring in the second quarter through Brady’s 11-yard completed pass to receiver, Brandon LaFell. Brady, who would have been hoping to secure his fourth Super Bowl title, combined brilliantly with Julian Endelman in the build to make amends after his previous error.

Photo by Michael Li The Seahawks would have to respond quickly if they were to stay in the game, and that is exactly what they did through Marshawn Lynch. Quite possibly the best running back in the modern game, he finished off a running play started by QB Russell Wilson to bring the score level on 7-7 with 2:16 remaining on the clock. But again, the Patriots took the lead in the second quarter with 36 seconds left before halftime, this time through a 22yard deep throw to tight end,

Rob Gronkowski. The three-time winners looked to be heading into the second half in the lead, however, the Seahawks responded yet again with a clever play by Wilson who threw an 11-yard completed pass into the end zone to wide receiver, Chris Matthews, which brought the scores level on 14-14. This year’s halftime show entertainment was provided by the chart-topping Katy Perry, guitarist Lenny Cravitz and rapper Missy Elliot, who

performed to a television audience of 1.18 million people. The Seahawks got the third quarter underway and immediately capitalised on their strong end to the first half, by taking the lead for the first time in the final, 14-17 through placekicker, Steven Hauschka after a successful 72 yard drive. The Patriots failed to find the right response, and Brady gave back possession after his pass was intercepted, which ultimately led to a Seahawks touchdown, courtesy of Doug

Baldwin, giving the defending champions a 14-24 lead going into the fourth and final quarter. No team in Super Bowl history had overcome a deficit of more than seven points in the final quarter, meaning that Brady and his team would need to produce something special to win. Brady again combined with Endelman twice to complete a total of 42 yards before Danny Amendola caught a 3-yard pass in the end zone to close the deficit to 21-24 with 12:16 remaining. After riding out a Seahawks attack, the Patriots regained possession with 6:52 left on the clock and at 2:16, they had done the unthinkable and scored a touchdown. The combination of Brady and Endelman proved to be a winning formula as the two worked together to secure a 2824 lead. With just 20 seconds left, and on the one yard line, the Seahawks had the opportunity to potentially win the title but an astonishing interception by Malcolm Butler in the dying moments gave the Patriots their fourth Super Bowl championship, and Brady his third Super Bowl Most Valuable Player award.

Sport

Analysis, reports and commentary: CSR on Varsity 2015 Jamie Glover Host of UNISports on CSR

arsity is soon approaching and UNIsport on CSRfm looks to recognise the efforts of all of our sports teams taking part across campus. The dedicated team, including presenter George Dagless, and InQuire’s very own Website Sport Editor, Henry Sandercock, will be in place to give a day-by-day analysis on results and will be sharing their thoughts on the progress of the UKC and CCCU. This year, we at UNIsport aim to give our listeners unprecedented pitch side access, alongside daily broadcasts covering the week’s Varsity fixtures. George says: “During Varsity we want to ensure that every fixture and result is covered one way or another, whether that be through live broadcasts or result roundups at the end of the day”. Along with the usual UNIsport witty punditry, the team will hopefully be broadcasting pitch side for the week’s most

UKC Home Fixtures 18/02/15 Badminton Men’s 1st v Surrey Men’s 1st Badminton Women’s 1st v London S. Bank Women’s 1st

Photo by Fraser Whieldon anticipated fixtures. Coming live from outside the studio, the show can capture the views of students taking part which gives our listeners a better perspective on what is to come. As well as presenting UNIsport, George is also the Sports Coordinator for CSR and will therefore be overseeing the station’s coverage of Varsity 2015. Here’s what he says we can look forward to before, during and after Varsity: “Leading up to Varsity, it’s all about the

build-up and making listeners aware of what’s to come. So whilst UNIsport will be doing their usual interviews, we’ll also be asking our guests about their Varsity preparations.” George also stressed the importance of the station working together to make sure listeners gain an understanding of how Varsity 2015 will be covered on CSR. He said: “It’s not just the role of UNIsport to preview Varsity, each show on CSR will hopefully gear our listeners towards our coverage at the end

of the month.” Once the dust has settled, UNIsport will also be rounding up the week’s events in our Varsity special on 5 March, bringing our listeners all of the major talking points from what is undoubtedly the biggest event on the sporting calendar. With Varsity just around the corner, we look forward to reviewing what is set to be another exceptional few days of sport. Be sure to listen from 6pm on Thursdays to CSRfm to keep updated on Varsity 2015.

UKC Women’s Lacrosse First team face Second team at BUCS Ruby Richards UKC Women’s Lacrosse

he highly-anticipated match between UKC Women’s Lacrosse First team, versus their own Second team, ended with a victory for the First team, 17-3. As both teams were competing in the same BUCS league this year, the match had to be taken seriously, despite the fact that the teams were competing against their friends. The match started strong for the First, with Ashleigh Mizon winning almost every draw in her position as centre, and frequently gaining possession of the ball, allowing her to sprint it down to score. The First team defence also proved strong, using their zoning techniques. Coralie Thomson displayed confidence in her role as goalkeeper by blocking many of the Second team attempts to score. However, the game was well executed by both teams, a few casual swipes from the 1s caused the poor 2s to have to perfect their ducking skills.

Photo by UKC Lacrosse The Second Team Captains Anne-Marie Twumasi and Simran Judge proved their hard work in training sessions, by putting together a very skilled second team, consisting of many first years, who played in a skilled, experienced and, most importantly, safe way. Unfortunately for the Second team, despite their fighting efforts, the current attack players for the 1s include newcomer Maisie Hunter, who has previously played for Centex Lacrosse, South and

Surrey teams. Charlotte Alston (Captain) and Charlotte Roeser (Vice Captain) have also played in Nationals tournaments, and as a reserve for the Scotland World Cup team, respectively. This skilled attack formation did not scare the Second Team however, and Emily Hope scored the most impressive goal in the game, aiming from much further along, side on, angle than the others. Captain Anne-Marie also scored another goal for the

Second Team, using her speed and accuracy to her advantage. The third goal scorer from the Second Team was Jess Fulgenzi, who showed off her talents with stick work and the agility to dodge past the defence and score. Brontea Boulton also shone as a newbie to the club this year by maintaining ball possession and outrunning many of the First Team mid-fielders. Christy Beazley also impressed with her stick skills and agility. Goals from the firsts were evenly distributed from Roeser, Alston, Hunter and Mizon, who worked brilliantly with precise passing and skillful shooting. Charlotte Scholey, a deep attack player, also stood out with her commitment to keeping ball possession and also took a few decent shots at the goal. Despite the frosty conditions, both teams were pumped up and ready for a fight. Playing your own university at a sport may be less competitive and more intimidating but it has no doubt proved the excellent standard of lacrosse here at UKC.

Lacrosse Men’s 1st v UCL Men’s 2nd Lacrosse Women’s 1st v CCCU Women’s 1st Netball Women’s 1st v Hertfordshire Women’s 1st Tennis Men’s 1st v Swansea Men’s 1st Tennis Women’s 1st v Southampton Women’s 1st

25/02/15 Badminton Women’s 1st v Essex Women’s 2nd Basketball Women’s 1st v LSE Women’s 1st Basketball Men’s 1st v King’s College London Men’s 1st Hockey Men’s 1st v Brunel University Men’s 1st Rugby Women’s 1st v Essex Women’s 1st

InQuire sport www.inquirelive.co.uk/sport

UKC Men’s Volleyball out-play Hertfordshire

Photo by Hertfordshire Men’s Volleyball Josh Breese UKC Men’s Volleyball

he mid table clash, featuring UKC and Hertfordshire Men’s Volleyball teams was played at home, and was ultimately won by UKC. The UKC side consisted of eight players, have shown an increasing skill level. UKC got off to a great start, taking the first five points. Hertfordshire then managed to steal the lead, leaving UKC with no choice other than to raise their spirit and energy, and fight back to gain a comfortable lead on the opponents. Marco Tse saved UKC with an incredible ‘pancake’ dive, resulting in a well-deserved

UKC win. Boris Otkhmezuri replaced setter Josh Breese in the second set for UKC which brought a new dynamic to the team. The set progressed with both teams accumulating a fair share of points but it was Hertfordshire who took the lead as they hit the 10 point mark. Bart Lebizay replaced outside spiker, David Aparu, who as usual had a fantastic game, leaving the other team dead on their feet, with his powerful hits. The change was what UKC needed, and suddenly they were closing the gap, until finally they took the lead again. The second set ended 25–19 in UKC’s favour and after two

set victories, it was clear that the Kent team virtually had the game wrapped up. It wasn’t long into the third set before Edoardo De Lorenzi reminded us that his value in the team is extremely high. He executed a perfect middle spike, which put Hertfordshire on the back foot. Baris Ceylanli went on to serve six times at the opposition who at this point were slowly accepting defeat. Despite a drop in energy the Hertfordshire players gave their all until the final whistle, but fortunately for UKC, their effort, strength and ability could not match this Kent team. A couple of points before the end, Michael Andreini

was fed a perfect set that he dealt with brilliantly, forcing Hertfordshire to scramble on the floor and unsuccessfully return the attack. The set ended 25-15, which provided a true representation of the game, which finished 3-0 to UKC. UKC now move further away from the bottom of the table, making every game increasingly more important. Wednesday 11 February, UKC will host promotion hopefuls, Queen Mary, which will be a tough yet exciting game. Both the Men’s and Women’s Volleyball team will participate in the Varsity tournament against Canterbury Christ Church University.

Inside: - Disabled sport - Super Bowl XLIX - How CSR will cover Varsity 2015. - UKC vs. UKC at Women’s Lacrosse. If you want to write for sport, email newspaper. sport@inquiremedia. co.uk