5 minute read
Finding Ourselves..No Matter The Season
By Elisa Brooks
We are smack dab in the middle of a season most of us did not expect to find ourselves in. Life continues in the middle of a pandemic … but at the same time, life is not the same. Have you felt that way? I often go for walks outside. The sky is still blue, the birds are still chirping, the grass is still growing, and life at that moment feels “normal.” And then I return to my house and my four kids are home when they would normally be at school, I livestream my classes from my living room instead of teaching inside the gym, and friends that I spent time with in person, I now connect with over the phone. And I often wonder, who am I in the middle of this? What am I supposed to be doing? What am I not supposed to be doing? Can I thrive, even in a season of unknowns?
Yes. Absolutely yes! I can and you can. There are lots of ways we can continue to become the person we long to be. Ways to continue to grow relationships with others and to thrive, in any season. I want to share one simple thing that has helped me immensely in my personal life to experience abundant life - both in “normal” seasons of life and even in this unprecedented time. Quit dying to the wrong things. You read that right. Quit dying to the wrong things.
Do you ever feel like you are juggling five million things? Have you ever wanted five minutes of silence but it seems like you can’t find it? Do you ever say “yes” to things, when on the inside you were wishing you could say “no”? Do you truly enjoy the things that you do each day?
We often walk along the pathway of life, adding things to our to-do lists, adding events to our calendar, responding to more emails and more texts, but we are left feeling unfulfilled. Even resentful. If you can relate to any of that, it might be because you are dying to the wrong things. Geri Scazzero, in her book The Emotionally Healthy Woman says it this way:
In my own personal life, I realized a few years ago that I I felt constantly exhausted. Occasional migraines, which I have dealt with since college, became regular occurrences each week. I felt like every request from family, friends, and church were obligations I had to fulfill and I was saying “no” to nothing. I was dying to the wrong things. My body was giving me a wake-up call with the migraines. I had four children under the age of 11. I rarely set aside time for myself. I love to read … but I never gave myself time to read. I crave moments of solitude because that is how I re-fuel. Yet I never asked for time alone. Working out is one of my greatest joys, but I kept sacrificing my own workout time to work more hours at the gym. I was dying to the wrong things.
There are things in life that we have to do that might not be our preference. I do not enjoy doing dishes. It always feels like a chore! The dishes still have to be done. Yet there are many other things in life I still have the choice to say “yes”, “no”, or “not now”. Are you, am I, saying yes to the right things?
Over about a 9 month period, I began to adjust my schedule. My husband helped me create better boundaries because he recognized the exhausted wife, mother, and person I had become. He helped me commit to not taking on a second early morning class at the gym and made me promise to him I would only do one early morning each week. We re-worked our budget in order for me to have more time at home. I gave myself permission to say “no” to lunch meetings if I needed some solitude - and refused to feel guilty about it! I prioritized getting my own personal workouts each week.
And in the middle of this pandemic - spring 2020??? I reminded myself that I love to read. I love it! Since fitness centers are still closed and my work hours are different, I have given myself permission to pick up some fictional novels that I have wanted to read for a long time. I continue to find that when I say yes to things that bring life to my soul, I am a better mother, wife, and friend. I have a fullness of life to share with others, instead of little bits of leftovers.
One simple but profound way to help find out if you are dying to the wrong things is to make two simple lists. Make a list of the things that fill you up. Bring you joy. Maybe it is time in nature, or time with friends. Whatever those things are - write them down! Then write a second list of things that drain you. Be honest on both. Then compare. Our pastor suggested doing this as we look at our Sabbath days, the day we need to take rest. Rest is not doing nothing! Rest is taking time for what fills you up! Ask yourself: is my life filled more with things that energize me? Or is it filled with things that drain me? If you find yourself constantly exhausted and irritable, perhaps it is time to begin to make adjustments.
Adjustments take time. You and I cannot wave a magic wand over our schedule and repair what we have been overcrowding for years. But we can take one step at a time to make a difference so that we enjoy fullness of life. Each small step of weeding out something that drains you and creating space for people and activities that fill your soul to the brim matters. I promise that you will find yourself as you do it! The girl inside me that laughs, jokes, hugs more, is patient, silly, energetic … she comes out more and more when I am careful to live for the right things and give myself freedom to die to the wrong things.
Each season of life provides us moments of growth if we are willing to embrace growth and change. Sometimes change can feel scary or simply unknown! This season is no exception: the opportunity lies before you. Don’t sit and wait for COVID-19 to disappear and life to return to “normal”. You can find life and beauty even right now - make the choice to live for those things!
