APRIL 2015
BECOMING A PERSON OF Influence
In this issue
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6 3
Seven Leadership Lessons That Apply to You charles r. swindoll
6 Family Footprints: Steps for Leading Well at Home dr. dave currie
What are the Keys to Answered Prayer?
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11 Follow Me scott tolhurst 14 The Gist: Becoming a Person of Influence steve johnson
8 Why Men Don't Lead steve johnson Insights is published by Insight for Living Canada, the Bible-teaching ministry of Charles (Chuck) R. Swindoll. Chuck is the senior pastor-teacher of Stonebriar Community Church in Texas. His international radio program Insight for Living has aired for more than 35 years. We hope this publication will instruct, inspire, and encourage you in your walk with Christ. Copyright Š 2015 Insight for Living Canada. All rights reserved. No portion of this monthly publication may be reproduced in any form without prior written permission from the publisher. Unless otherwise noted, all Scripture passages are taken from the NLT. Unless otherwise noted, photography and illustration by Laura Vanderwel. IFLC is an autonomous ministry and certified member of the Canadian Council of Christian Charities. Printed in Canada.
by charles r. swindoll
W
hen most folks hear the term leader they think of presidents, pastors, teachers, and CEOs. But very few think of themselves. And yet, it’s true. You are a leader. As a Christian, you are an influencer for Christ, an ambassador for the Lord, and a change-agent for the gospel of God’s grace. In fact, I have discovered in the book of Nehemiah seven principles of leadership that apply to you. Nehemiah’s example offers principles you can apply immediately to your sphere of influence. The first principle involves a passion for the project. Passion includes vision, enthusiasm, drive, determination, and creativity. People with passion can grasp the big picture without becoming enmeshed in or preoccupied with all the details. Nehemiah could hardly sleep as he imagined himself accomplishing God’s objective. His passion was off the chart.
remind the people of the Lord’s presence and protection. Leaders who are authentic will consistently turn others’ attention to the true Source of strength—the One who can accomplish the impossible. Their faith is contagious. While they may occasionally doubt their own ability, they do not doubt God’s invincible commitment to His work. Resilience and patience through opposition mark the fourth principle. Nehemiah endured it all: sarcasm, suspicion, gossip, mockery, threats, anonymous notes, false accusations—you name it. Sound familiar? None of it moved Nehemiah. No leader can survive if he or she cannot remain patient and resilient through criticism. It is important to be firm in purpose without becoming cranky, vengeful, or mean-spirited.
The second principle includes an ability to motivate others. Getting along well with others is a crucial part of leadership. This would include such skills as verbalizing ideas, dreams, and concerns; articulating goals succinctly and simply; and demonstrating grace with a heavy dose of enthusiasm and encouragement. Leaders who motivate always inspire others to do their best. They quickly affirm and remember to give credit where credit is due. Nehemiah was strong in all those qualities.
The fifth principle to adopt is a practical, balanced grip on reality. While the good leader may have dreams and ideas, he or she doesn’t live in a dreamworld of ideals. The actual facts—the hard pieces of evidence—are in clear focus. Nehemiah told the workers who were rebuilding Jerusalem’s wall to stay at their jobs. He, at the same time, wisely stationed others to protect the wall from attack. Smart. Discerning. Tough. He acted without overreacting. Good leaders maintain that needed balance between staying positive and keeping aware of the negative.
The third principle is having an unswerving confidence in God. Nehemiah’s journal is filled with prayers—silent ones, short ones, specific ones. He never failed to
Number six is a willingness to work hard and remain unselfish. Most Christian leaders have at least one thing in common: diligence. They also know the value of
Seven Leadership Lessons That Apply to You continued from p. 3
"No leader can survive if he or she cannot remain patient and resilient through criticism."
calling it a day. (Diligence and workaholism are not synonyms.) Because of his hard work, Nehemiah was appointed to be “governor of Judah” (Nehemiah 5:14), even before the wall was rebuilt. He accepted his appointment humbly, refusing special treatment and willingly sacrificing for the good of the people. Nehemiah could have led a clinic on servant leadership. Finally, leaders must have the discipline to finish the job. Good leaders are finishers. They know how to concentrate on essentials without allowing perfectionistic details to block the path. I am certain that some of the wall’s stones were a tad crooked, and a few of the joints may have been loose. Perhaps a gate or two wasn’t perfectly level, and it’s possible a hinge or two squeaked…but that baby got done. Mission accomplished. The end. Done! (I love that word.)
And when the task is finished, good leaders celebrate…they have fun! In Nehemiah’s case, they had a blast walking on the wall, marching and dancing, shouting and singing. What a grand and glorious party! Christian leaders with character continue to be in demand. Ezekiel recorded God’s search for leaders who would “stand in the gap in the wall [of righteousness] so I wouldn’t have to destroy the land,” but, tragically, He “found no one” (Ezekiel 22:30). God’s search continues today. Let’s determine to be the women and men for whom God is searching to stand in the gap. Let’s be the Nehemiahs of this generation—Christians who get things done for God’s glory, standing strong on rock-solid principles of leadership.
Charles R. Swindoll serves as the senior pastor-teacher of Stonebriar Community Church in Frisco, Texas.
by dr. dave currie
I
grew up enjoying the childhood activity of follow-theleader. Back in the Prairies, it was especially fun to play after a fresh snowfall on our way to and from school (a four-block walk). With hockey stick in hand, we’d take turns being the leader. We’d take big steps, hopping steps, sliding steps, climb snowbanks and jump down making tracks as we went. We would expect the others to do exactly what we did with both our steps and our stick (acting like a cane, a pole vault, or a sword). You could tell how well your friends were following by their boot prints in the snow. Every day we parents leave footprints for our family to follow. But parenting is not a game—a future generation of faith rests on us. There’s no doubt we are leaving tracks and our kids follow in our footsteps…at least for a while. So what is it going to take to have your children continue following your footprints? Here is my advice for leading well at home. Step 1: Follow Jesus clearly and consistently. Leading well at home is always about passing on what is ultimately most important in life. Without question, that should be your children coming to know and follow Jesus. You as a parent (or grandparent) need to fully seek Jesus first, allowing Him to transform you and how you live at home. You are called to follow Jesus’ example in what you do and say in such a way that this primary truth of life is powerfully convincing to those who follow you. We read in 1 Peter 2:21 that Jesus, “...is your example, and you must follow in his steps.” This is central for any parent. Follow Jesus with your life. Live what you believe.
Step 2: Ask your children to follow you. Many parents assume this just happens, but asking your children to follow your example is an important step. However, your kids will only listen to your words to the level they see it backed up in your own life. Because they are 24/7 witnesses of your every move, they can do the “scratch and sniff” test to see if you are for real. Do your actions scream so loud that they drown out the lessons you are trying to teach? While it’s crucial to ask your children to follow you, your example is louder than your words. Philippians 4:9, which I call the Parent’s Prayer, affirms this. “Keep putting into practice all you learned and received from me—everything you heard and saw me doing. Then the God of peace will be with you.” Step 3: Challenge your children to lead their families well. Family influence is the most powerful and effective form of evangelism. Every day in the home our faith is observed and passed on to the next generation. It is sad how many times I’ve seen kids walk away from the faith after high school because of their parents. Let’s put 2 Timothy 2:2 in play in the context of the family. “You have heard me teach things [as the parent] that have been confirmed by many reliable witnesses [your siblings]. Now teach these truths to other trustworthy people [your children] who will be able to pass them on to others [your children’s children].” This process, as implied in this verse, impacts four generations because of the genuine family footprints of faith. Leave credible footprints as you lead at home. May your kids find you faithful.
Dr. Dave Currie is the president at Doing Family Right.
WHY MEN
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DON T LEAD by steve johnson
Many churches and Christian homes have passive men, but we rarely address the issue directly. Why, instead of leading, are some men disengaged, uncommunicative, and withdrawn from their wives, families, and churches? HERE ARE A FEW POSSIBILITIES Lack of confidence. Some men never had self-confidence. Raised by parents who didn’t affirm or love them unconditionally, nothing was ever good enough. While some men overcompensate by becoming aggressive, others lapse into passivity. Fearing wrong decisions, they avoid making them. Other men, perhaps once confident leaders, experienced things in their marriage, church, or vocational life that shook them to the core. Now they constantly second-guess themselves, are unassertive, disengaged, and insecure. Shattered dreams. There comes a time many men consider different aspects of their lives and think, “It isn’t going to get any better than this.” Perhaps they’ve gone as far as they can with their work. Career options are limited now. For others, the dreamed-of-success never materialized. In fact, outright failure in the form of firing or bankruptcy might have been the case. Health-wise the six-pack has turned into a keg. The life they dreamed of has turned into a monotonous and stale existence. Overwhelmed. Part of leadership is the ability to make decisions. A man may be feeling overwhelmed by the number and complexity of the daily demands and decisions pressing on him. The paralysis of passivity takes over because it seems
easier to do nothing. Using the tactic of avoidance he thinks the situation might change and so a decision won’t be needed, or someone else will make it for him. “Push back.” Some men have the experience where, when they try to lead at home, their wives push back. If they try to initiate something, their wives feel they need to comment, control, criticize, or compare it. From the woman’s perspective she is just trying to help. From the man’s perspective it’s easier to just go along with her—at least outwardly. He would rather have relative peace in the home and be accused of being a poor leader than deal with the conflict and verbiage that ensues when he tries to lead. It is simply not worth the ordeal. Ironically, if in response to his wife pushing him he takes the lead, he feels like he is following her. And if he refuses, he is being passive and obstinate. A word to husbands Scripture has direction for men who won’t lead and their wives. Ephesians 5:23 says, “For a husband is the head of his wife as Christ is the head of the church….” Headship means loving leadership. This is required of all husbands, including the passive. But it can be accomplished only through the Holy Spirit’s power and filling (5:18). Only by
the Spirit can you recognize and overcome your passive behaviour. It is by confessing your passivity and then surrendering to the Spirit that you will be given the ability to lead. • Receive the courage to be confident and to initiate • Recognize the Spirit’s purpose for your life so you can dream new dreams for Him • Experience a sound mind and the peace that you need to not get overwhelmed by the complexities of life • Respond wisely and tenderly to your wife as you seek to give the loving leadership that you and God desire. Stop reacting to her and take responsibility to be what she needs.
including husbands. • Compliment him. Men need to be appreciated. Rather than taking him or the things he does for granted, express your gratitude. He may only grunt in response, but he needs appreciation and in time he’ll learn to accept it. • Listen. Many wives need to become more active listeners and less active talkers. This involves picking up clues in an attempt to understand the reasons behind what is said and what is left unsaid. Because he’s not used to it, you may have to wait for him to talk. Don’t badger him, but if he knows you are willing to really listen and aren’t going to belittle, argue, or use it against him, he may open up.
A word to wives Ephesians 5:33 says, “…the wife must respect her husband.” Several things flesh that respect out. • Pray for him. Someone wisely said, “Change the things you can change, and pray about the things you can’t change.” People are one of the things we can’t change. Only God can change people,
Summing up: Be agreeable, be sympathetic, be loving, be compassionate, be humble. That goes for all of you, no exceptions. No retaliation. No sharp-tongued sarcasm. Instead, bless—that's your job, to bless. (1 Peter 3:8-9 MSG) Steve Johnson is the executive director at Insight for Living Canada.
On The Air Did you know Insight for Living airs on radio stations across the country every day? To find the program on your local station visit insightforliving.ca/find-station
by scott tolhurst
Faith begins and continues with a simple plan—
STALK JESUS.
F
ollow Me is a game we learned first as children. It’s a game of pursuit reduced to a single goal—just track the leader. It’s easy to play and carried more fun that its simplicity suggested. As children we played it as a game. We didn't know it would be repeated as our first faith steps with Christ. What's the first step of faith? Trace through the Gospels and you'll find this command of Jesus echoed more often than any other, “Follow Me!” Jesus spoke it as the primary step of discipleship in becoming fishers of men (Matthew 4:19). Jesus assumed that His sheep would hear His voice and follow (John 10:27). In fact, if we want to serve Jesus and be worthy of Him, we must learn to follow (John 12:26, Matthew 10:39). There is no graduation from this pursuit. Until his final breath, Peter is commanded, “Follow Me” (John 21:19). Not Follow Me continued from p. 11
all of those who heard took the first step. There were those who had too many obligations to attend to first (Luke 9:59). There was one who decided he couldn't follow, laden with wealth on his heart and mind (Mark 10:21). The command of our Lord is clear. Faith begins and continues with a simple plan—stalk Jesus. The plan is simple but the execution of it isn't. You and I both admit that following Jesus is layered with struggles and questions. Who are you? We teach children not to follow strangers. Good advice for adults too! When Jesus calls us to accompany Him, we wonder, “Are you safe to follow?” We've been hurt by false promises and disappointed by good intentions. Warranties and guarantees haven't been enough protection, so we've learned to guard our lives with cynical walls and an independent style. Now Jesus wants us follow Him, not just
once but always! We want to know if Jesus can be trusted. If you follow Jesus, He will press upon your fears and suspicion, and then answer them with grace “…let me teach you, because I am humble and gentle at heart …” (Matthew 11:29).
kids
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Where are you going? When I head out on a motorcycle ride with friends, I'm uncomfortable with the casual “Just follow me” approach. Tell me where we're headed! It's not that I don't trust my friends, it's that I don't trust the trip! So much can happen in the journey. I want to be armed with a map and destination. It's been my experience that Jesus prefers to keep the journey a secret. He doesn't consult me about the route of life or reassure me with a timeline and detailed end. He reminds me that He is safe and repeats, “Follow Me.” If you're the type who needs to know and be in charge (there's a few of us out there!) you'll need to let go of the steering wheel, turn off the GPS, stop the advice, and relax in the ride. Jesus knows where He's going! Once the core questions of following are resolved, there are some practicalities of our pursuit that need to be mastered. Let me offer three and then close with goosebumps. To follow Jesus: 1. Keep Him in Sight On a dark rainy night, as you drive behind your friend's car to an unknown address, don't lose those tail lights! They are all you've got. Jesus doesn't tell us where He is leading, so we must keep Him in view. As Hebrews teaches, we finish this run by “… keeping our eyes on Jesus” (Hebrews 12:2).
2. Keep His Pace To follow someone, you have to maintain his speed. I've found it a challenge to keep God's pace. He's not too fast, but too slow! I find myself way out front. Now I'm not following but leading. Jesus stops and waits for me to turn around. I'm learning that this is not a race. There is rest for my soul as I follow. 3. Keep His Pattern There's an aspect of mimicry in following. I not only go where Jesus goes, but I do what Jesus does. We walk in His steps and keep His commands. Our life pattern should proclaim the One we are following. We get to be with Jesus Finally, I promised goosebumps. Here's good news! When you follow someone, you wind up where they are. Following Jesus is not so much about destination but relationship. It's not about a place but a Person. Jesus is leading us that we might be with Him (John 17:24). This is an adventure of love. As we follow Jesus, He wants to get caught. In fact He is chasing us as well, so— We are both the hunter and the hunted! We seek and are sought. In our following God, He runs to us that we might find and be found!
Scott Tolhurst is the lead pastor at Richmond Bethel Church in Richmond, B.C.
by steve johnson
BECOMING A PERSON OF INFLUENCE In his book, Developing the Leader Within You, leadership guru John Maxwell defines leadership as influence. How do we become the type of leader who influences others positively and ultimately toward God? Here are four keys to becoming a person of positive influence. 1. Follow Your Leader. Jesus repeatedly said, “Follow me.” People of influence are first influenced by those they follow. To be a person of influence wanting to influence others in their walk with Christ you must be influenced by Him. As Scott said in his article we must stalk Him. How? A. Continuously follow God’s will and Word and keep Him in sight. When we consider His will and His Word and follow it in every step we take and every choice we make day by day then biblical thinking permeates our minds and guides our choices. Question: Is your mind infused with God’s will and Word? If not, what steps can you take today to make it a reality?
B. Consistently wait on Him as He unfolds His ongoing plan for your life. Most of us are impatient and run ahead. Perhaps that is why the psalmist tells us to “wait for the Lord” (Psalm 27:14; 33:20; 37:7, 9, 34). Question: As someone who strives to follow in the steps of Christ, what things are you currently waiting on the Lord for? What do you think you should be waiting on Him for? 2. Develop Your Character. Being a follower of Jesus means you are developing a character like His. In 1 Timothy 3:1-13, 6:11, and Titus 1:6-9 Paul lays out many of the character qualities God wants in those who lead His church. In reality they are qualities every follower of Jesus should strive for. Question: Read these verses. Are there character qualities you need to develop further so your influence is greater? 3. Cultivate Your Skills. Chuck mentions some of the necessary skills for leaders in his article: passion for the project, abil-
ity to motivate others, unswerving confidence in God, resilience and patience through opposition, practical balanced grip on reality, willingness to work hard and remain unselfish, and discipline to finish the job. Question: Which of these qualities or skills need to be cultivated in your life? Three other essential skills for becoming a people influencer are found in James 1:19, “You must all be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry.” A. “You must all be quick to listen....” Listen to understand. Jesus took the time to listen in a non-judgmental way. People felt valued. Question: When you listen to people do they know you value them and aren’t judging them by the way you listen? B. “...slow to speak....” Communicate so others understand you. Question: When people listen to you do they know you have carefully and thoughtfully chosen your words? C. “...and slow to get angry.” There is a place for offence and anger. But if you
are easily offended and angered you need to learn to be kinder, extend more grace and forgive even as God has done for you (Ephesians 4:31-32). Question: If you have a short fuse or thin skin ask yourself, “Would I like God to respond to me the way I respond to others?” 4. Encourage Good Behaviour. “And you should imitate me, just as I imitate Christ” (1 Corinthians 11:1). The important flip side to leadership and influence is followership. That is true proof of leading and influencing others. Although Paul was writing specifically about doing everything to the glory of God, not offending others, and doing what is best for others so many may be saved, the principle is broader than that. Dave’s article puts this concept in the context of family and children. Question: Can you honestly expect others, particularly your family, to imitate you just as you imitate Christ? If not, what areas come to mind that you need to change to be able to make this true?
Steve Johnson is the executive director at Insight for Living Canada.
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