SUMMER MOVIE PREVIEW

ELL, SPRING HAS SPRUNG, but the Summer movie season seems to keep coming earlier and earlier. We saw last year’s award season end in February with No Country for Old Men receiving the Oscar for Best Picture (that was one hell of a haircut, wasn’t it?), we saw Lady Liberty removed of her crown in Cloverfield, and though we were made to see Jason Segal’s junk we’ve all but forgotten Sarah Marshall. Iron Man is already a hit, Speed Racer already isn’t, but such is the cutthroat world of the Summer blockbuster. Enough talk. Let’s get it on! BY MITCHELL HUGHES W

MAY

SAVAGE GRACE May 30th The Cast: Julianne Moore, Eddie Redmayne, Stephen Dillane

The Plot: Spanning 1946 to 1972, the film is a dramatization of the shocking murder of Barbara Daly Baekeland, a London socialite who married above her class to the heir of a plastics fortune, and depicts the tumultuous and sordid details of their dysfunctional family which includes a son.

The Scoop: For an actress as daring as Julianne Moore (Short Cuts, anyone?), it’s ludicrous to think that she hasn’t won an Oscar. She might have a chance for another nomination with Savage Grace, if only it wasn’t just a tad lurid (and by a tad, we mean more like a ton). But bonus points should be awarded for the film not being titled Saving Grace. Wasn’t that a Kate Hudson movie? If it isn’t, it probably will be.

THE FOOT FIST WAY May 30th The Cast: Danny McBride, Mary Jane Bostic,

The Plot: Through the five tenets of Tae Kwon Do: courtesy, self-control, perseverance, integrity and indomitable spirit small town Tae Kwon Do instructor Fred Simmons (McBride) teaches his young protégés the power of the Foot and Fist. But when his wife leaves him he and his odd-ball friends make a pilgrimage to meet the greatest Martial Artist of all time, “The Truck.”

The Scoop: It may not be saying much, but McBride all but stole Hot Rod from underneath Andy Samberg (he was hilarious as Rod’s ramp-making friend, Rico) and is on the cusp of comedy stardom. This deadpan film originally came to the attention to FunnyorDie.com founders Will Ferrell and Adam McKay in 2006, and the duo helped get it a theatrical release. It just might be the sleeper hit of the sum mer. JUNE

YOU DON’T MESS WITH THE ZOHAN June 6th The Cast: Adam Sandler, Emmanuelle Chriqui, John Turturro, Nick Swarsdon

The Plot: In You Don’t Mess With the Zohan, a comedy from screenwriters Adam Sandler, Robert Smigel (Triumph the Insult Comic Dog) and Judd Apatow, Sandler stars as Zohan, an Israeli com mando who fakes his own death in order to pursue his dream: becoming a hairstyl ist in New York. Dennis Dugan, the maker of some of the worst so-called comedies in memory, directs.

The Scoop: Sandler continues to dance with the one who brung him and is back with another familiar, conventional “Adam Sandler Movie”. Granted, most of his films do not contain Israeli soldiers or amorous hairdress ers, and with Reign Over Me he’s shown some out-of-the-box thinking, but it would be a shame to think that his Big Daddy, Waterboy-era fanbase has outgrown him. KUNG FU PANDA June 6th The Cast (Featuring the voices of ): Jack Black, Dustin Hoffman, Ian McShane, Angelina Jolie

The Plot: Jack Black is the voice of Po the Panda, the laziest of all the animals in the Valley of Peace. Po’s dreams become real ity when he joins the world of Kung Fu and studies alongside his idols, the legendary Furious Five-- Tigress, Crane, Mantis, Viper and Monkey-- under the leadership of their guru, Master Shifu. Suddenly, their world is threatened by the vengeful and treacherous snow leopard Tai Lung, and Po is the unlikely one chosen to defend their peaceful existence.

The Scoop: Try as they might, DreamWorks Animation can’t quite measure up to the consistent excellence that is Pixar. As long as they continue to dabble in tired pop culture references and in-jokes only parents will get, Kung Fu Panda is likely to be nothing more than a temporary diversion on a hot day. THE INCREDIBLE HULK

June 13th The Cast: Edward Norton, Liv Tyler, Tim Roth, William Hurt

The Plot: The Hulk returns, this time played by Ed Norton in place of Eric Bana and directed by Louis Leterrier in place of Oscar-winner Ang Lee. When the movie begins, Bruce Banner has already transformed into the giant green Hulk and hiding out in Brazil trying to find a cure for the gamma-ray exposure that turns him into a monster. On his trail is Gen. Thunderbolt Ross (Hurt) and Emil Blonsky (Roth), a soldier who turns into his foe, Abomination.

The Scoop: The new film is said to be truer, not only to the comic book, but to the ‘70s TV show. However, there have reportedly been major creative differences over the final cut of the picture between Norton and Marvel Studios. Marvel opted for a leaner, more fast-paced version and apparently prevailed. If Ed Norton is as apoplectic as has been reported… well, that’s not a good sign. THE HAPPENING June 13th The Cast: Mark Wahl berg, Zooey Deschanel, John Leguizamo, Spen cer Breslin

The Plot: While on a train journey to sort out their rocky marriage, Wahlberg (as a Philadelphia-based science teacher) and Deschanel discover that a mysterious and deadly force is wreaking havoc throughout major American cities. Head ing for the Pennsylvania farmlands, where they hope they’ll be out of reach of the grisly, evergrowing environmental attacks, they discover that nowhere is safe. The Scoop: The Happening looks to be a return to form for M. Night Shyamalan after the failures of The Village and The Lady in the Water. It looks incredibly scary. Give him credit also for the unlikely pairing of Wahlberg and Daschanel as a married couple. On the downside, the chances are slim of someone in this movie declaring, “It’s my happening baby and it freaks me out.” Which is ironic when you think about it.

GET SMART June 20th The Cast: Steve Car rell, Anne Hathaway, Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson, Alan Arkin, Terrence Stamp

The Plot: Maxwell Smart (Carell) is on a mission to thwart the latest plot for world domination by the evil crime syndicate known as KAOS. When the headquarters of the U.S. spy agency CONTROL is attacked and the identities of its agents compromised, the Chief has no choice but to promote his ever-eager analyst, Max well Smart. With little field experience, but with the help of Agent 99, Smart must thwart the doomsday plans of KAOS.

The Scoop: It’s hard to predict which Steve Carrell will show up in Get Smart. Will it be the Carrell of 40 Year Old Virgin and The Office, or will it be the Carrell of Evan Almighty and his somewhat stilted SNL hosting stints? More importantly, does director Peter Segal (The Longest Yard, 50 First Dates) have what it takes to match the sardonic wit and comedic tim ing of the classic 1960s spy spoof sitcom? We wouldn’t bet on it. THE LOVE GURU June 20th The Cast: Mike Myers, Jessica Alba, Justin Timberlake, Romany Malco, Verne Troyer

The Plot: Pitka (Myers) is an American raised by gurus in India who returns to Canada in order to break into the self-help

business. His first challenge is to settle the romantic troubles and subsequent profes sional skid of star Toronto Maple Leafs hockey player Darren Roanoke (Malco), whose wife left him for rival skater Jacques Grande (Timberlake). Jessica Alba plays Jane Bullard, the owner of the team and Pitka’s love interest.

The Scoop: Myers modeled the milky voice of Pitka on his own spiritual guru, Deepak Chopra. The two appeared together in IFC’s Iconclasts series, where Myers explained that the death of both his father and his hero, George Har rison, eventually led him on a spiritual quest to create this film. And yet, in spite of his enlightened state of consciousness and gift for creating inspired characters, he also has a weakness for lowbrow humor. Plus, some thing tells me Austin Powers has Guru Pitka’s number in his rolodex. WALL-E June 27th Robotic Voices Designed by: Ben Burtt

The Plot: The makers of the newest Pixar animated film wish to ask us, “What if mankind had to leave Earth and somebody forgot to turn off the last robot”? WALL-E (short for Waste Allocation Load Lifter Earth-Class) is that last and loneliest of robots who, for 700 years, has dutifully collected trash on an isolated and empty planet. Suddenly he meets a sleek search robot named EVE, who discovers that WALL-E has inadvertently stumbled upon the key to the planet’s future.

The Scoop: WALL-E appears to be a leap forward in a photore alistic style of computer animation, but it also represents a bit of a risk for Pixar in that the robots’ only means of communication are electronic beeps and bloops created by Oscar-winning sound designer Ben Burtt. If it’s possible for the world’s most consistently excellent film studio to have yet another breakthrough at this point, WALL-E certainly looks like just that. WANTED June 27th The Cast: Angelina Jolie, James MacAvoy, Morgan Freeman, Common

The Plot: Young Wesley Gibson (McAvoy) finds out that his long-lost father is an assassin. When his father is murdered, the son is recruited into his father’s old organization and trained by a man named Sloan (Freeman) to follow in his dad’s footsteps. Jolie plays Fox, the woman who teaches Wes to unlock his dormant powers of reflex and agility, but ultimately proves not to be who she seems.

The Scoop: If this movie is wanting for anything, it would be a better title. Based upon the explosive graphic novel series by Mark Millar, Wanted appears ready to offer only the occasional cheap thrill, including a bullet-bending trick a la The Matrix.

JULY HANCOCK July 2nd The Cast: Will Smith, Charlize Theron, Jason Bateman

The Plot: Will Smith is John Hancock, an alcoholic and lazy vagrant with no respect for authority or property. Ironically, he also possesses superpowers, and the destruction he leaves in his wake leaves him despised by everyone. A publicist (Bate man) emerges to help rehabilitate him, and the new superhero eventually begins an affair with the publicist’s wife (Theron).

The Scoop: Smith is already predict ing that Hancock, a film that has been in development hell for 12 years, will be his biggest to date. A bold statement, to be sure, but if you haven’t already learned by now, when it comes to the 4th of July movie weekend, you don’t mess with the Will Smith!

HELLBOY II: THE GOLDEN ARMY July 11th The Cast: Ron Perl man, Selma Blair, Jeffrey Tambor, Doug Jones

The Plot: Ron Perlman is back as Hellboy, the possessor of the cool est pair of severed devil horns in movie history. In this sequel to the 2004 film, the mythical world starts a rebellion against humanity in order to rule the Earth, so Hellboy and his team must return to save the world from the rebellious creatures.

The Scoop: Expectations are a bit higher than they were for the original sleeper, which found a cult following and earned $59 million at the box

office. But for a superhero ac tion movie, the Hellboy franchise is relatively low-key and seems to prefer subtle, dry humor in the midst of demons and monsters doing battle. Director Guillermo Del Toro (aka Peter Jackson’s heir apparent on The Hobbit) hopes to convey a sense of loss of fantasy and imagination, not only in his fictional world, but in our world as well. Hey you! That sounds like Winter Movie Sea son talk...

THE DARK KNIGHT July 18th The Cast: Christian Bale, Heath Ledger, Michael Caine, Morgan Freeman, Maggie Gyl lenhaal

The Plot: With the help of Lieutenant Jim Gordon and District Attorney Harvey Dent, Batman sets out to dismantle the remaining criminal organizations that plague Gotham City. The partnership proves to be effective, but they soon find themselves prey to a reign of chaos unleashed by a rising criminal mastermind known to the terrified citizens of Gotham as The Joker.

The Scoop: Long gone are the days of the campy Pop Art aesthetic of the ‘60s TV show. Given the tragic and untimely death of Heath Ledger, the newest incarnation of the Dark Knight seems from the outside at least to be all the more depress ing. That the film might draw more interest from non-devotees may not be a bad thing. Accord ing to director Christopher Nolan, Ledger’s approach to playing the Joker was “totally fear less,” and perhaps that’s the best way to remem ber him in his last performance. MAMMA MIA! July 18th

The Cast: Meryl Streep, Amanda Sey fried, Pierce Brosnan, Colin Firth, July Walters The Plot: An independent single mother who owns a small hotel on an idyllic Greek island, Donna (Streep) is about to see her young daughter Sophie

be married. Donna invites two old friends but Sophie has tracked down three men from her mother’s past to see which one may be her father. The film is based on the popu lar Broadway musical set to the songs of ABBA.

The Scoop: If the word of mouth success of Nia Vardalos’ My Big Fat Greek Wedding could have the same effect on Mamma Mia!, the pro ducers of the film would be very happy. People from Greece sure seem to want to see movies that have something to do with their home country. This is prob ably because there aren’t a whole lot of them, movies that is. And as if you didn’t know this was a chick flick, the exclamation point pretty much seals the deal. STEP BROTHERS July 25th The Cast: Will Ferrell, John C. Reilly, Mary Steenburgen, Richard Jenkins

The Plot: Will Ferrell and John C. Reilly play Brennen Huff and Dale Doback respectively, two overgrown under employed man-children, who become stepbrothers when their single parents marry and move in with one another. Initially full of contempt, they form and unlikely bond as they hatch an elaborate plan to bring their par ents back together.

The Scoop: Look, nobody says Will Ferrell has to grow up, unless of course he wants to, but it sure would be nice if for just once Fer rell, Reilly and McKay would put as much effort into making a cohesive movie while sticking to the script (that they themselves wrote) as they do constantly coming up with one-liners on the set that ultimately leads to a funny trailer and yet a bad film. AMERICAN TEEN July 25th The Cast: 4 real life senior classmen at Indiana high school Warsaw Community High

The Plot: Nanette Burstein is a documentary filmmaker who, in her films On the Ropes and The Kid Stays in The Picture, has displayed a great respect for her subjects and a dedication to portray ing them fairly and honestly. In Ameri can Teen, she focuses her attention on a diverse group of high school teenagers as they navigate the struggles of school, cliques and life in general.

The Scoop: American Teen premiered at Sundance in January, received an award for directing and was picked up for distribution. It has drawn comparisons to The Breakfast Club and has garnered some buzz. Gee, it’s so great to finally see young people in this country get the chance to voice their thoughts and feelings…

AUGUST THE ROCKER August 1st The Cast: Rainn Wilson, Will Arnett, Christina Applegate, Josh Gad, Jeff Garlin, Teddy Geiger

The Plot: Musician Robert “Fish” Fishman (Wilson) is fired from Vesuvius, a fictional 1980’s hair band, before they become famous. The movie follows him as he gets a second chance at fame when he joins the garage band of his nephew, Matt (Gad). His love interest (Applegate) is the mother of the band’s guitarist, Curtis (Geiger).

The Scoop: If it’s even remotely fathom able, Pete Best-- the original drummer for the Beatles before he got the boot, only to see his former mates achieve the heights of greatness and glory-- has a cameo role in the film. He plays himself, as you might imagine, and that alone is worth the price of admission. No hard feelings, Pete.

THE MUMMY: TOMB OF THE DRAG ON EMPEROR August 1st The Cast: Brenden Fraser, Jet Li, Maria Bello

The Plot: The Mummy franchise shifts from Egypt to China for this next chapter in the adventure series. Brendan Fraser returns as explorer Rick O’Connell to combat the resurrected Qin Emperor (Jet Li) in an epic battle that races from the catacombs of ancient China high into the frigid Himalayas. He along with his wife Evelyn (Bello) and son Alex (Luke Ford)