Array Magazine July 2021 by Fox Printing and Digital Publishing

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• Publisher’s Note

ireworks! Grilled food! Traveling! Hugging! No limits on toilet tissue! One year ago, we held in high regard each of these items that we once took for granted. It seems that this summer is already feeling much different than the summer of 2020, but the question remains, “Will we ever return to normal?” Of the numerous monstrosities exposed by COVID-19, there is one facet that has been brought to light, and that is the notion that normalcy is a highly individualized term as well as a very vague idea. COVID-19 has brought upon a sense of edginess, side-eying, and skepticism. How did the virus originate? Should I or shouldn’t I get the vaccine? What about people who get the virus even after being vaccinated? Should we still wear our mask? These questions still loom. Nobody really has the answer. While we ponder the answers, at least we can enjoy a piece of grilled chicken... Oh, wait! Is the chicken shortage over? One thing is certain; there is no shortage of content in ARRAY Magazine! Thank you for reading with us!

Johnnerlyn Johnson, Editor

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ARRAY July 2021

Publisher AnneMarie Ziegler AnneMarie@ ArrayNC.com Chief Operations Officer & Events Angie Lyle Angie@ArrayNC. com Editor Johnnerlyn Johnson Writers Dr. S. Fenner Keith Sykes Michael Shamberger Michaela Haas Stephanie Stewart

Another Chance: When God Shows Up

7 Strategies to Turn Trauma Into Strength

July’s Fun Summer Activities

Buy Instead of Rent

Enjoy Being You

Art Director Kylen Dooley ARRAYdio Podcast Director and Host Caroline Schafer Caroline@ ArrayNC.com

Disclaimer: Please note that the inclusion of stories and articles in any publication owned by ARRAY Publishing & Marketing, LLC does not imply endorsement of products or people. The views of the authors are presented for information and entertainment only, and may not necessarily reflect the views of ARRAY Publishing & Marketing, LLC. Specifically, ARRAY Publishing & Marketing, LLC in no way endorses any claim associated with health and/or well-being with respect to any particular person. We disclaim all warranties, express or implied, including, but not limited to, implied warranties of merchantability and fitness for a particular purpose. We will not be held responsible or liable directly or indirectly for any loss or damage that is caused or alleged to have been caused in connection with the use of, or reliance on, any content in this magazine. ARRAY Publishing & Marketing, LLC reserves the right to deny any advertisement or listing that does not meet ARRAY Publishing & Marketing, LLC standards. Submissions are welcome, but unsolicited materials are not guaranteed to be returned. ARRAY Publishing & Marketing, LLC assumes no responsibility for information, products, services or statements made by advertisers or editorial contributors. All rights reserved. Reproduction in whole or in part without written permission from the publisher is prohibited. Any and all material, excluding paid advertisements, will be published at the discretion of ARRAY Publishing & Marketing, LLC. ARRAY Publishing & Marketing, LLC is not responsible for translations of this publication.

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Another Chance: When God Shows Up

Written by Keith Sykes

’ve always been one to live life to its fullest and do my absolute best to be present in most moments. I am a strong believer of taking time to “smell the roses”, and I push those closest to me to do the same. My photography is evident that I see things from a perspective that the average person may not. So, most times when I am out, I am very aware of my surroundings. I try to inspire those that follow my work to look at the world differently and take it all in. I completely understand the importance of not taking life for granted, but on the afternoon of May 17th of this year, that understanding became even clearer to me. I was on my way home after work driving on I-295, and I noticed the eighteenwheeler flatbed truck in the lane next to me beginning to merge directly into my lane. Before

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I could react, the truck sideswiped my car and sent me into a tailspin. Afterwards, my car slammed into the side of the truck. As the truck pulled ahead, it sent my car into the concrete guardrail and back across the highway to a complete stop. The accident happened during moderate traffic, so it is a miracle that all the other drivers were alert, and they all came to a stop to avoid running into my car. I was wearing a seatbelt, and I had no cuts, bruises, or broken bones. I am awfully familiar with the term, “life flashing before your eyes” because in 1993 while driving from New Orleans, Louisiana to San Antonio, Texas, I fell asleep at the wheel and fortunately was not injured at all. This time was much different because there were other vehicles involved, but both times

there were no life-threatening injuries. It reinforced the fact that life is too short, and we must live our lives to the fullest. We must not save anything for a special occasion. Wear that outfit. Eat on your good china. Call that person and tell them you love them because nothing is promised. Even though I feel like I have experienced a great deal in life, and I have truly tried to right my wrongs, I wasn’t ready to throw in the towel. I remember clearly, as my car was sandwiched between the eighteen-wheeler and the guardrail, and I was seeing pieces of my car break away due to the impact, saying…” God please don’t let me die.” Not because I was afraid of death, but because there is so much to live for. So many places to see, and so much love to give. I thank God for another chance. I thank Him for his grace and covering. I thank Him for

believing that I was worth it. On the day of the accident, there was a particular person that God sent as an angel to watch over me in the aftermath, and her name is Barbara Newtzie. She was the first person that I saw running up to the car, and she held my hand until the ambulance arrived. She made phone calls to notify my emergency contacts, so they would know where I was being taken, and she continued to check on me even after I was released from the hospital. There are good people out there. Thank you, Barbara!!! I would also like to thank my Pastor Ronnie Moore who prayed for me in the emergency room and all my friends and family who took care of me and checked on me. I really appreciate you. ~A~ Keith Sykes, native of New Orleans, LA is a freelance writer with ARRAY. For more information on Keith Sykes visit the ARRAYNC website.

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7 Strategies to Turn Trauma Into Strength

Written by Michaela Haas

hen Army surgeon Rhonda Cornum regained consciousness after her helicopter crashed, she looked up to see five Iraqi soldiers pointing rifles at her. It was 1991 and her Black Hawk had been shot down over the Iraqi desert. Dazed from blood loss, with a busted knee and two broken arms, the then36-year-old medic was subjected to a mock execution by her captors, sexually assaulted, and kept prisoner in a bunker for a week. Her crisis included textbook causes for post-traumatic stress—a near-death experience, sexual assault, utter helplessness—and yet, after her release and medical rehabilitation, she surprised psychiatrists by focusing on ways she improved. “I became

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a better doctor, a better parent, a better commander, probably a better person,” she says. One might suspect Cornum was suppressing the real toll of her ordeal, but her experience is far from unique. “Post-traumatic growth,” a term coined by University of North Carolina psychologists Richard Tedeschi and Lawrence Calhoun, describes the surprising benefits many survivors discover in the process of healing from a traumatic event. After counseling bereaved parents, people who had lost the loves of their lives or were severely injured, cancer survivors, veterans, and prisoners, the researchers found growth in five main areas: personal strength, deeper relationships with others, new perspectives on life, appreciation of life, and spirituality. Post-traumatic stress disorder gets more attention, but posttraumatic growth is much more common. Tedeschi found that as many as 90 percent of survivors from all walks of life report at least one aspect of growth. “But it is important to make clear that not everybody experiences growth, and we are not implying that traumatic events are a good

thing,” Tedeschi stresses. “They are not. In the wake of trauma, people become more aware of the futility in life, and that unsettles some while it focuses others. This is the paradox of growth: People become more vulnerable yet stronger.” Tedeschi estimates that most of us—almost 90 percent, according to his calculations— will experience one or more traumatic events during our lifetimes. For instance, 1.6 million people are diagnosed with cancer each year. About 3 million Americans are injured or disabled in traffic crashes. Many women have experienced sexual assault. Although most people will suffer from post-traumatic stress in the aftermath of trauma, few will develop the full-blown disorder, and even of those, most will heal with therapy and time. Tedeschi rejects the designation “disorder” because of the stigma the term carries. “When someone crashes their car against a wall at 60 miles per hour, they’ll have many broken bones. Do we say they have a broken bone disorder? They have an injury. Same with trauma survivors; they have been injured. Psychologically injured, maybe morally injured.” Psychiatrists and psychologists have focused on the negative impact of trauma; after all, they’re trained to track the symptoms, what’s wrong. But this deficit model adversely impacts survivors. Many trauma survivors simply assume that

they are damaged forever. In reality, although we likely do carry a traumatic event with us forever—in our minds and bodies—we can heal and even thrive. Cornum is convinced that resilience is like a muscle that strengthens when exercised and atrophies when neglected. Together with specialists, she initiated a comprehensive resilience training that ran its first pilot program in 2009. Every single U.S. Army soldier now participates in the $160 million program, which has been shown to significantly decrease substance abuse and increase optimism, good coping skills, adaptability, and character strength. The training is so successful that psychologists are convinced that it can help not only soldiers, but people from all walks of life. Here are strategies trauma psychologists have found particularly helpful to turn struggle into strength: 1. Mindfulness- At the resilience boot camp in Philadelphia, soldiers start each day with mindfulness meditation and breathing exercises. Because the most common PTSD treatments—medication and psychotherapy—only work for about half the survivors, the army is experimenting with alternative methods, and meditation has proven to be one of the most promising. Harvard neurobiologist Sara Lazar has shown that “meditation can

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literally change your brain.” It can actually shrink the amygdala, the “fear center” in our brain that might be enlarged after a trauma and trigger flashbacks of anxiety and panic. 2 . Vulnerability- Post-traumatic growth is not the opposite of post-traumatic stress. Rather, the stress is the engine that fuels the growth. Before we can overcome suffering, we need to go through it. Covering up a raw wound with a smiley face BandAid does not lessen the pain. Neither does suffering in silence, which only increases the risk of PTSD. Instead, growth arises from acknowledging the wounds and allowing vulnerability. A

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significant part of the training consists of teaching survivors to communicate openly, admit fears, and reach out to seek help. 3. Self-compassion- Shame, self-blame, and guilt are all too common in the aftermath of trauma. Practices of selfcompassion and loving kindness under the gentle guidance of an experienced, trauma-informed instructor can allow survivors to reconnect with parts of themselves that have been wounded, at their own pace. 4. Finding meaning- “After trauma, it’s important to acknowledge mental suffering will happen,” Tedeschi instructs. “At a certain point, and in tandem with continuing distress, a crucial foundation of post-traumatic growth is making meaning out of and reflecting about one’s trauma.” As Auschwitz survivor Viktor Frankl realized, “Those who have a ‘why’ to live can bear with almost any ‘how.’” 5. Gratitude- One of the single most effective practices for resilience is keeping a journal of gratitude. The army calls it “Hunt the Good Stuff,” but the exercise is the same: noticing three good things every day and reflecting on them. According to studies at the University of California, Davis, grateful people not only report that they are more satisfied, optimistic, and content with their lives, but they also have fewer medical symptoms, more energy, and

even sleep better. In addition, cultivating gratitude improves our mood, and makes us more social and willing to help others. 6. A holistic approach- Dr. Karen Reivich, the co-director of the Penn Resiliency Project, and her team teach 14 core skills, such as goal setting, energy management, problem solving, and assertive communication. “When people have mastered and used these skills in their lives, they are more robust in the face of stress, they can cope more effectively with problems, and they have tools to be able to maintain strong relationships. So, the goal is to enhance the overall well-being and resilience,” Reivich explains. 7. A team effort- “Nobody ever does it alone,” civil rights icon Maya Angelou recognized, years after being raped at the age of 8. Resilience is always a team effort. Moving forward after a crisis depends not only on the individual’s resources and their genetic makeup or upbringing, but also on their connections to the people around them and the quality of support. The best kind of support encourages survivors to focus on their strength but doesn’t gloss over their wounds. Nothing is as powerful as knowing we are not alone. ~A~ Michaela Haas is a solutions journalist and the author of Bouncing Forward: The Art and Science of Cultivating Resilience (Atria).

Want to read more articles? Check out our online edition at ArrayNC.com for more amazing and positive articles!

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• Health 360

July’s Fun Summer Activities

Written by Dr. Shanessa Fenner ummer is here, and it is time to be safe and have a little fun. Here are some fun things to do in the month of July: 1. Read a book such as a romance novel. 2. Watch a scary movie. 3. Spend the day in a bookstore reading. 4. Sit on your porch or balcony one evening and watch

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the stars. 5. Have a picnic at the park. 6. Make a list of your blessings and what you are thankful for. 7. Treat yourself to a nice spa day. 8. Visit a state that you have never visited. 9. Do something daring or adventurous. 10. Go camping in your backyard. Set up a tent.

11. Make homemade ice cream and eat it all. 12. Have movie night or game night with the family. 13. Learn how to play an instrument. 14. Go horseback riding. 15. Buy lunch for someone you do not know. 16. Enter a contest. 17. Bake a cake and dare someone to taste it. 18. Spend an evening playing Bingo. 19. Gain 5 pounds instead of losing them. 20. Take a course in cooking

or self-defense. 21. Plant a garden. 22. Watch a fireworks show. 23. Clean out your closet and give away clothes you no longer wear. 24. Make a list of goals to work on for the remainder of the year. The goal is to laugh, have fun, and enjoy these precious days. Tomorrow is not promised, so enjoy today. Happy July! ~A~ Dr. Fenner is a multifaceted woman that does not leave a stone unturned and her motto is “We were placed here on Earth to do great things and that is what I am going to do.”

Celebrate, Honor or Remember Special People & Occasions with a CAC Tribute Mural The Child Advocacy Center offers a variety of naming opportunities to those who wish to honor or remember a family member, friend, business or corporation with an extraordinary and special gift. Visit CACFayNC.org to make a donation in celebration of someone special or to learn more about the ways to donate to the CAC.

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• Recipe

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• An Array of Weddings

How to plan your NC Wedding on a budget

Buy instead of rent

Written by Stephanie Stewart admit the third tip we are going to discuss in the “How to plan your NC wedding on a budget” series may not be for everyone. But for couples who don’t mind putting in a little bit of work before and after the wedding, this insider tip could save you

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lots of bucks on your big day! Whether your wedding is intimate or large, the cost of accommodating guests has to be worked into the budget. Things like table linens, dinnerware, napkins, backdrops, etc. can take a big chunk out of your budget. But with a little bit of creativity (and tips from the Shoestring Elegance crew), you may be able to get the money spent on those items back! Tip #3 on how to plan your NC wedding on a budget is to “Buy instead of rent”. Now, I know what you are thinking, “What the heck am I going to do with 20 tablecloths and 50 vases after the wedding?” That’s a valid question! Keep reading to find out! Wedding rental companies offer everything from tents, to linens, to backdrops, to coffee mugs, but as everyone knows, you

pay for convenience! The rental companies bring everything to you and collect them at the end of the night. And while some rental companies may offer great prices, even the most affordable ones have to mark up their cost to account for labor! Sites like Amazon and Tableclothfactory make it easy for brides to purchase most of their rentals at an affordable price with the bonus of getting a return on your money after the wedding. Couples can purchase linens in an array of colors as low as $6 each and chair covers as low as $1 per chair. While I don’t recommend buying chairs, you can rent the less expensive folding chairs for around $2 each and cover them with the chair covers you bought to create an elegant look! Another option that makes sense to buy instead of rent is your backdrop stand and/ or faux florals starting as low as $100 bucks. Couples can save hundreds by DIY’ing their

wedding backdrop (see May’s article) and create a unique creation from scratch (throw in some sheer curtains and string lights for an elegant look). And to answer the milliondollar question of “What the heck do I do with all this stuff after the wedding?”, sell it to another budget savvy bride of course and get all, if not more, of your money back. If you don’t want to take the time to sell your items, you can always donate them to a local community center and write the donation off as a tax credit. You save big and feel good about helping someone else! Be sure to stay tuned for our next tip in the Array of Wedding Series on How to plan your NC Wedding on a Budget! ~A~

Stephanie Stewart, wedding officiant & planner, is a freelance writer with ARRAY. For more information on Stephanie Stewart visit the ARRAYNC website.

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Enjoy Being You

Written by Michael Shamberger an you identify with this scenario? Once upon a time in the middle of somewhere, there was a little boy named Like Me who was hastily going about his activities. Everything he was doing was for the purpose of making other people like him more. He was trying to be a really good (obedient) little boy so that his parents would like him. It seemed to him that he always did the wrong thing, and his parents were continuously upset with him. He worked especially hard with his schoolwork in order to make his teachers like him, but he wasn’t the brightest academically, and his teachers were always telling

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him to do better. The peers that he wanted to hang out with were all very good at sports, but Like Me was not. So trying to get them to accept him into their clique was not happening either. Like Me was finding life to be very frustrating and difficult. For those of us who are adults, our situations may be different from Like Me’s situation, but if you find yourself struggling with the same principles as Like Me, I would like to offer you these tips: 1) Come to the realization and settle this in your heart: You are just as important in the eyes of God, and of equal value, as anyone else. Not greater than. Not less than. So don’t look

down on yourself. 2) Figure out what are the things that you really enjoy doing. (Ask others what they think you are good at.) 3) Determine what your strengths are, and yes you do have them. 4) Seek out ways to use what you have been blessed with (your strengths, passions, gifts, and talents) to encourage others. Not for the purpose of getting them to like you, but simply to serve, to give, and to be a blessing. You might not see an instant overnight change within you, but keep giving, sowing, and investing in others, and it will come back to you - multiplied. Live life and enjoy being you. If you need help with any of this, feel free to contact me at masterpiececs19@gmail.com ~A~ Michael Shamberger is a business coach, author, husband, father and grandfather. Follow his Keys to Life series.

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8 HOLA Fayetteville

pasó con los pájaros que de repente sonaron tan fuerte. Los pájaros no eran más ruidosos; nosotros hacíamos menos ruido. Incluso el aire se volvió más limpio durante un tiempo, con niveles descendentes de contaminación. En otro nivel, más difícil de apreciar desde la calle, la pandemia aceleró la aplicación de la ciencia a los problemas del mundo real, uniendo la academia y la industria para desarrollar una serie de nuevas vacunas en un tiempo récord. Esto nunca ha sucedido antes. El peligro de una pandemia trajo consigo un esfuerzo concertado

que, al final, no solo nos proporcionó los beneficios de la vacuna, sino que también nos dio un plan de cómo enfrentar una crisis futura. El cambio es el valor más esencial que surgirá de las cenizas de este desastre global. Necesitamos estar preparados para aceptar ese punto crucial para decidir si miramos hacia atrás o hacia adelante. ~H~ Orginally from Argentina, Daniel Montoya is a freelance writer for HOLA Fayetteville. For more information on Daniel Montoya visit the ARRAYNC website

que enfrentan un futuro incierto decidieron regresar a la universidad o comenzar a capacitarse para desarrollar nuevas habilidades. La Universidad Estatal de Fayetteville, por ejemplo, reportó un año récord de inscripción, compuesto principalmente por estudiantes no tradicionales, aquellos estudiantes mayores y más sabios que necesitan estar preparados para el cambio que se avecina. Los artistas todavía crearon arte durante este período y solicitaron dinero para hacerlo. Según informes de editoriales francesas, el número de manuscritos presentados por nuevos autores aumentó un 40%. También en este periodo se recaudaron impuestos y las oficinas gubernamentales continuaron funcionando, de alguna manera. El Consejo de Arte de la ciudad de Fayetteville donó 1,1 millones en fondos y asignaciones a organizaciones sin fines de lucro, artistas y municipalidades de arte y cultura del condado de Cumberland. Además, la gente todavía se casó, compró nuevas casas y, lo

más importante de todo, tuvo hijos durante la pandemia. Los humanos siguieron siendo humanos en las circunstancias más adversas, haciendo lo que solo podían hacer: improvisar para seguir viviendo. No solo los humanos se vieron afectados por los cambios. El mundo también se volvió más silencioso. Durante el bloqueo y la desaceleración resultante de toda la actividad, menos automóviles, aviones y grandes maquinarias retumbaron en el planeta. Esto fue descubierto por una red de sismómetros que registra el ruido de la Tierra durante en febrero y marzo de 2020. Mientras los gobiernos instaban a la gente a quedarse en casa, en muchas ciudades como Barcelona, Milán, Bruselas o Los Ángeles, los científicos detectaron disminuciones de al menos un 30-50 por ciento en la actividad sísmica. Algunas personas comenzaron a preguntarse qué

6 HOLA Fayetteville

la interacción constante, bajo la mirada de extraños, puede ser un principio de curación. También muchos otros disfrutan al usar una máscara ya que, de esa manera, ponen una barrera entre ellos y el mundo que les provoca ansiedad. Esta ocasión ha sido también especialmente reconfortante para los introvertidos. Estas personas no se sienten a gusto en multitudes ruidosas ni les gusta llamar la atención sobre sí mismas. La tregua les ha dado la oportunidad de respirar. En otros casos, muchas personas deben lidiar con un entorno laboral tóxico como parte de una realidad diaria. El encierro y la posibilidad de trabajar desde casa trajo un respiro a quienes tienen dificultades para convivir con sus compañeros, quienes sufren bullying o acoso en el trabajo. Al mismo tiempo, durante el año pasado, las personas

retrospectiva de 20/20, lo sabremos todo. Podríamos, sin embargo, empezar a darle sentido ahora. Concentrarnos en algunos de los beneficios inesperados que trajo la pandemia podría ayudarnos a crear una perspectiva equilibrada. En todo caso, al principio, la pandemia nos hizo conscientes de nuestros propios cuerpos, cómo vivimos en ellos y cuánto dependemos de la presencia de otros para conseguir una mente y un cuerpo saludables. Incluso, al principio, tuvimos que aprender a lavarnos las manos para protegernos a nosotros mismos y a los demás. En realidad, no podemos vivir aislados porque no evolucionamos de esa manera. Esto no significa que vivir con otras personas sea fácil. Las personas con ansiedad social, por ejemplo, pueden experimentar el aislamiento de manera diferente. Estar lejos de

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En el futuro, cuando todo esté bien. Los efectos inesperados de la pandemia Por Daniel Montoya

uando escuchamos la palabra pandemia, es posible que hayamos adquirido un reflejo que nos produce escalofríos o nos hace demasiado conscientes de la gente que tose a nuestro alrededor. Es fácil recordar todos los efectos adversos sufridos el año pasado. No podemos mencionar las consecuencias sanitarias primarias de la pandemia sin

recordar sus terribles resultados sociales, políticos y económicos. Sin embargo, después de un año bajo el hechizo de un organismo invisible, del que todavía no estamos seguros de si está vivo o muerto, puede ser justo preguntar: ¿hay algún resultado positivo de la pandemia? Si es así, ¿Cuáles son? Mi intención no es negar todas las terribles reverberaciones o la increíble cantidad de muerte innecesaria que visitó el planeta. Lo que quiero señalar es que no todas las consecuencias no deseadas fueron desfavorables. Como lo mencionó John F. Kennedy hace un tiempo atrás, entendemos que la palabra china para crisis significa “oportunidad”. Un significado más matizado de los caracteres puede traducirse como “un punto crucial cuando algo comienza a cambiar”. En ese punto es donde estamos ahora. Es posible que no veamos las repercusiones completas de la crisis hasta dentro de unos años, cuando, con una visión

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CONTENIDO Publicador AnneMarie Ziegler

Contactanos en info@holafay.com

En el futuro, cuando todo esté bien. Los efectos inesperados de la pandemia

Escritor Daniel Montoya

Tenga en cuenta que la inclusión de historias y artículos en la revista Hola Fayetteville no implica el respaldo de productos o personas. Las opiniones de los autores se presentan solo para información y entretenimiento, y no necesariamente refejan las opiniones de Hola Fayetteville. Especialmente, Hola Fayetteville de ninguna madera endosa cualquier reclamo asociado con la salud y / o el bienestar con respecto a cualquier persona en particular. Renunciamos a todas las garantías, expresas o implícitas, incluyendo, pero no limitado a, garantías implícitas de comerciabilidad y aptitud para un propósito particular. No nos hacemos responsables de, directa o indirectamente, por cualquier perdida o dado causado o supuestamente causado, en relación con el uso o la confanza en cualquier contenido de esta revista. Hola Fayetteville se reserva el derecho de negar cualquier anuncio o anuncio que no cumpla con los estándares de Hola Fayetteville. Las presentaciones son bienvenidos, pero no se garantiza que se devuelvan los materiales no solicitados. Hola Fayetteville no asume ninguna responsabilidad por la información, los productos, los servicios o las declaraciones hechas por publicistas o contribuidores editoriales. Todos los derechos reservados. Queda prohibida la reproducción total o parcial sin el permiso escrito del editor. ARRAY Publishing & Marketing, LLC no se hace responsable de las traducciones de esta publicación.

Julio 2021