INVITATION ETIQUETTE

Invitation Invitation Etiquette EtiquetteBy St.Claire Donaghy

WEDDING INVITATIONS SET TONE, EXPECTATIONS FOR SPECIAL DAY

Invitations are the first connections guests have to your wedding day.

They relay important information such as who, what, where and when you are tying the knot. They also give invited guests context clues about how formal or laid-back your ceremony will be.

Invitations can be ways to share with others a bit about your personalities as a couple or your love story. And, invitations later framed and matted can become beautiful keepsakes of a momentous occasion.

Traditionally, what you send to guests includes the main invitation, a response card, and any other enclosure card containing helpful information for guests (reception card, travel and accommodations card, attire card, wedding website card, etc).

It's recommended you send invitations to international guests at least 12 weeks in advance and to others six to eight weeks before the wedding, according to etiquette tips at: brides.com.

Thayer's in Greenwood, at 302 Main St., has been a go-to source for engaged couples for generations, for everything from invitations to china patterns, flatware, gifts and home decor.

Taylor Wilson Tucker of Thayer's says it's key to give weight to your invitations-—literally. "You want invitations to be set apart from regular stationery," Tucker said. "It's nice if card stock has some weight to it. We carry a line called Crane and Company that is the gold standard for invitations and stationery. Crane's papers are made of 100% cotton and they are so beautiful."

Once your invitation paper is selected, Tucker says it's important to consider the printing process, too. Tucker said flat printing is the least expensive method, while thermography can give an engraved look at a lesser cost than engraving.

Top of the line printing techniques for an elegant look include actual engraving and letterpress, Tucker said. "I actually tend not to recommend people include RSVP cards with their invitations, for the simple fact is that more than half are never returned and a couple has incurred a lot of expense," Tucker said. "If they are not returned, it gives an inaccurate count of the number to attend." Etiquette dictates, however, that if you do send an RSVP card with your invitations, a stamped and addressed return envelope should be included. Postage on RSVP return envelopes that potentially goes unused is another unnecessary expense.

Tucker said she advises couples to plan on at least three-fourths of their invited guests attending, if not more. "If there's a sit-down dinner reception, the number needs to be precise," Tucker cautions. In that event, an RSVP card and stamped return envelope should be included.

Brides.com also encourages couples to leave off wedding registry

information on printed invitations. Many couples today create personalized wedding websites where registry information and links are appropriately included. Referencing a couple’s wedding URL is appropriate on a wedding invitation and will provide guests with a way to find registry information without printing it directly on formal invitations.

Invitation recipients should take cues from how envelopes are addressed to determine who exactly in the household is invited to the wedding. If you want to invite an entire family, address the envelope to “The Smith Family” or write out all names of the household underneath the names of the primary invitees. If you only want to invite Mr. and Mrs. Smith, address the envelope as such. If you intend for a single guest to invite someone to attend your wedding, be sure to include “and Guest” on the envelope.

Educator Cecily Bradford Ferguson of Abbeville has taught calligraphy classes and has fulfilled orders for elegantly hand-lettered addressed envelopes for wedding invitations.

"I am seeing renewed interest in addressing invitations with calligraphy," Ferguson said. "I am seeing mostly white paper or card stock with black embossing or engraving. While many colors of calligraphy ink are available, black ink is what's requested for the majority I do. "With so much digital these days, calligraphy conveys tradition," Ferguson said, noting that extra effort signals the invitee is important and wanted at the ceremony.