CELEBS CC 17 Years of Cricket...
” n u f r o f y l “ serious
The Celebs CC Playing Record (1996 – 2013) 1996: June 28 at Four Elms CC – Independent Insurance 179 (Neil Williams 52*: John Davidson 4-30: Dave Haynes 3-5) Celebs 141 for 9 (Dave Haynes 30: Paul Dodds 22*)
1997: July 11 at Inglewood – Celebs 189 for 8 (Andy Wiseman 59*: Jim Robinson 51*: Neil Hames 32) Royal Sun Alliance 174 (Dave Haynes 4-27: Neil Hames 3-20)
August 29 at Bristol County Ground – Celebs 176 (Jim Robinson 31: Lyndon Willshire 2-28) DAS 75 (Neil Hames 4-25: Adrian Susman 3-11: Nick Pound 2-10)
2001: August 10 at Bristol County Ground – Celebs 214 for 6 (Adrian Susman 50*: Alistair McLaren 31: Nick Pound 34) DAS 181 (Lyndon Willshire 32: Nick Pound 4-26: Adrian Susman 3-31)
July 25 at Four Elms CC – Celebs 221 for 5 (Andy Wiseman 50*: Steve Payne 53*: John Warner 28) Independent Insurance 222 for 6 (Steve Wellard 50*: Marc Donfrancesco 40: Malcolm Evans 2-9)
August 28 at Chepstow – Celebs 199 for 8 (Alistair McLaren 50*: Jim Robinson 31: Adrian Susman 21) Chepstow 135 for 9 (Jim Robinson 3-27: Alistair McLaren 2-18: Brian (!) Susman 2-5)
1998:
2002:
July 3 at Inglewood – Celebs 168 for 9 (Dave Haynes 40: Nick Pound 27: Andy Wiseman 26 retired hurt) Royal Sun Alliance 166 (Nick Pound 4-21)
June 14 at Aigburth, Liverpool – Celebs 222 for 3 (Neil Hames 52*: Chris Moseley 47: Andy Wiseman 44: Neil Williams 31) (Rain stopped play)
July 24 at Four Elms CC – Independent Insurance 196 for 7 (Don Oakley 50*: Mark Feltham 3-18) Celebs 197 for 6 (Andy Wiseman 50*: Michael Wood 51*: Dave Haynes 31: Mark Feltham 25: Andy Hawkes 2-50)
August 27 at Chepstow – Celebs 194 for 8 (Adrian Susman 52*: Neil Hames 39: Geoff Doyle 32: Malcolm Evans 29*) Chepstow 193 for 8 (Alistair McLaren 2-21: Brian Susman (!) 2-10)
July 31 at Bristol County Ground DAS 204 for 7 (Dave Haynes 51*: Lyndon Willshire 34: Jim Robinson 3-23) Celebs 183 for 7 (Andy Wiseman 53*: Paul Dodds 41*: Malcolm Evans 21: Andy Parkinson 2-17)
2003: June 3 at Trent Bridge – Allianz Cornhill 276 for 4 (Derek Randall 50*: Chris Broad 32*: Neil Hames 2-44) Celebs 209 (Andy Parkinson 36*: Adrian Susman 32: Neil Hames 28: Jim Robinson 25)
1999: June 18 at Inglewood – Celebs 166 for 9 (Brian Susman (!) 19*: Graham Gomm 18) Royal Sun Alliance 131 (Malcolm Evans 3-38: Dave Haynes 2-30) July 23 at Four Elms CC – Independent Insurance 239 for 6 (Steve Wellard 53*: Laurence Ives 44) Celebs 115 (Michael Wood 42: Dave Haynes 30) August 27 at Bristol County Ground – Celebs 214 for 8 (Adrian Susman 53*: Malcolm Evans 31: Nick Pound 27) DAS 184 for 8 (Dave Haynes 53*: Jim Robinson 3-29: Jon Hurley 2-47)
2000: June 23 at Inglewood – Celebs 95 for 9 (Nick Pound 24: Malcolm Evans 20) Royal Sun Alliance 97 for 8 (Phil Drakeley 30*: Don Oakley 28: Andy Parkinson 2-15: John Davidson 2-24: Alistair McLaren 2-24) July 21 at Four Elms CC – Independent Insurance 187 for 6 (Neil Williams 50*: Steve Wellard 34: Adrian Susman 4-56) Celebs 190 for 7 (Neil Hames 42: Mark Feltham 35: Adrian Susman 34*: Jim Robinson 23*)
June 13 at Bristol County Ground – Celebs 295 for 3 (Lloyd Hanks (!) 50*: Jim Robinson 50*: Andy Parkinson 51*: Neil Hames 36: Don Oakley 33*) Royal Sun Alliance 133 (Phil Drakeley 52: Neil Hames 2-2: Brian Susman (!) 2-23: Lyndon Willshire 2-26) August 26 at Chepstow – Celebs 172 for 8 (Neil Hames 50*: Andy Wiseman 42) Chepstow 174 for 3 (Dave Haynes 2-37)
2004: July 23 at Aigburth, Liverpool – Celebs 201 (Chris Moseley 50*: John Dobson 23) Royal Sun Alliance 203 for 0 August 20 at Claverham – Celebs 225 for 7 (Geoff Doyle 42: Jim Robinson 34*: Alistair McLaren 33: Ryan Thorpe 4-42) DAS 129 (John Davidson 3-10 hat trick: Brian Susman (!) 3-8) Continued on the back cover.......
CELEBS CC 17 Years of Cricket “seriously for fun”
The inaugural Celebs XI v Independent at Four Elms CC, Edenbridge, June 1996. Back row, left to right: Adrian Susman, Damian Myles, Dave Haynes, Lloyd Hanks, Malcolm Evans, Jacquie Boast (umpire), Jon Hurley, Nick Pound. Front row, left to right: Andy Laing, John Warner, Brian Susman, Paul Dodds, John Davidson
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t all began, as I recall, at a private city lunch in early 1996. Independent Insurance were being their customary hospitable selves, and I, as the then Editor of Brokers'Monthly, was enjoying the benefits of it. When the conversation turned to the all-important issue of cricket – my hosts were as much cricket nuts as I was – Mike Bright (yes, that Mike Bright) challenged me to take my existing cricket team, the Bedouins, down to Kent for a match against his company. I had to decline, as I knew that the Bedouins, composed of business friends of mine in the West Midlands, would struggle to get a side out, to travel so far south-east for a midweek match. However, I was bold enough to go on to say that I would, indeed, put a team out against Independent, but composed of contacts of mine from within the insurance industry who, I knew, were keen on the game. Having thrown down the gauntlet, Mike Bright then left it to fellow lunchtime diner, Andy Hawkes (yes, that Andy Hawkes) to pick it up and make all the arrangements. He went off to do just that, using his not inconsiderable talents as Independent's marketing and the celebs 1
publicity man to put together a competitive team from within the company's ranks, for a 40over match on a Friday in late June that year, at Four Elms CC, near Edenbridge in Kent. And that left me to trawl through my contacts, to come up with a team, comprising current cricketers, ex-cricketers, and people who were simply good to have around (I leave it to you to decide who fits into which category). They assembled, under the title of the Brian Susman Insurance Invitation XI, at the compact but attractive Four Elms ground for the inaugural match on June 28, 1996. I and other team members had made the pilgrimage down the M40 in an absolute deluge and expected it to be a fruitless journey. But “darn sarth” it was a different story and, as Independent would have it, the sun was bound to shine on the righteous. It did so, for the rest of the day. That first game was a sharp reminder of just how competitive Independent were in everything they did. The home side had first use of a good wicket and openers Peter Richardson and Neil Williams (later to become a respected member of the Celebs in his own right) both hit 50s, the former depositing our bowlers into the adjacent field with alarming regularity – he'd played before! But things got better and, with John Davidson taking 4 for 30, Dave Haynes 3 for 5 and Adrian Susman 2 for 1, a total of 157 for 2 rapidly became 179 all out, including a catch and no less than three stumpings for Lloyd Hanks. Dave Haynes top-scored with 30 in our reply. Paul Dodds made 22 not out, batting disgracefully late at number 10; Nick Pound made 17 in typical Poundy fashion (4,1,2,6,4) and your beloved El Pres also contributed 17 in typical fashion – 10 singles, a three and a four. The result was a 38-run defeat. However the foundation had been laid. We played our cricket competitively, but had great fun along the way. And that's the way it carried on for the next 17 years.
1997 – A Win on the Wirral
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ord quickly got around – as it does in a business like insurance. Brendan McManus, then boss of Royal & Sun Alliance, got in touch to suggest a game at the RSA private ground at Inglewood, on the Wirral. So it was that, in July 1997, we made our way through the pearly gates of Inglewood, to be amazed at the facilities so readily available to the privileged few. Tending the wicket was, clearly, not high on the priorities list at RSA at that time, but we were happy enough to take first use of it and, with Andy Wiseman (59 not out), Jim Robinson (51 retired) and Neil Hames (32) providing the impetus,we made 189 for 8 in our 40 overs. Celebs v RSA, Inglewood, July 1997. A somewhat close-set field for the president
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RSA had a couple of talented batsmen in their line-up, but
we still came away with a win by 15 runs, thanks to 4 for 27 from Dave Haynes and 3 for 20 from Neil Hames. However, highlight of the day for many of us was the first-ball dismissal of an RSA rising star, Mark Cliff, given out stumped (by Lloyd Hanks). The decision came from the rookie RSA team member umpiring at square leg, who later confided “It was the correct decision , but was it a wise one?” History does not reveal what became of him later in his RSA career – if indeed there was one! A couple of weeks later, it was back to Four Elms for another meeting with Independent. Our competitive total of 221 for 5 included 50s from Andy Wiseman and Steve Payne (Quotel), ably supported by John Warner (yes, that John Warner) with 28 (shows what having a runner can do for you!), Malcolm Evans (18 not out) and Lloyd Hanks (17 not out). But our competitive total was not enough. With Peter Richardson (again) making 46, Steve Wellard 50 not out and Marc Donfrancesco 40, Independent won by four wickets with a couple of overs to spare. Disappointing, but at least we had the consolation of Independent's typically hospitable barbecue afterwards – a real highlight!
1998 – First Taste of a County Ground
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he fixture list was growing. In 1998 we had three fixtures. The first produced one of the closest of all Celebs finishes. Against RSA at Inglewood, we totalled a modest 168 for 9, led by Dave Haynes (40), Andy Wiseman (36) and Nick Pound (27).
The scorebook shows that RSA were doing pretty well,with their two most talented batsmen returning to the crease after reaching 50s. But one of them was run out – unfortunately history does not record by whom – with the RSA total just two runs short. Wild scenes of jubilation and delight, no doubt, among the usually reserved Celebs. The bowling honours went to Nick Pound (4 for 21) and Dave Haynes (2 for 29). We then moved on to Four Elms for the annual meeting with Independent. The home side batted first and, with Don Oakley (yes, that Don Oakley) making 50 and a Pakistani international weighing in with 49 not out, they ran up 196 for 7. However, the Celebs now had the services of their own high-profile cricketer and insurance man in Mark Feltham (Surrey and Middlesex), who completed his eight overs with 3 for 18. Another three wickets went to Dave Haynes – thought he was supposed to be a batsman. Our opening pair of Andy Wiseman and Michael Wood (an Aussie batsman of some considerable talent) put on over 100 for the first wicket and both retired on 50, Wiseman having hit the first ball he received for six over the pavilion roof – wild horses wouldn't drag from me the fact that the bowler was Andy Hawkes. Mark Feltham underlined his worth by hitting 25 and Dave Haynes made 31, to give us the win by four wickets. This was the year when the annual meetings with DAS started. Initially these were played at the Bristol County Ground, where we had our first taste of the kind of facilities that county cricketers were used to. It meant that Dave Haynes had to play for the opposition, so he promptly went on to make 50, of course. Other later Celebs recruits also did well, Dave Nash with 50 and Lyndon Willshire with 34. Jim Robinson was pick of the Celebs bowlers, with 3 for 23, as DAS rattled up 204 for 7. Another 50 from Andy Wiseman gave us a good start, which was carried on by Paul Dodds (41 not out) and Malcolm Evans (21), but we finished 21 runs short on 183 for 7. the celebs 3
1999 – Celebs 2 Opponents 1
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e kicked off 1999 in the now familiar surroundings of Inglewood, where our 166 for 9 proved too good for RSA. This was the game where David Longman made his one and only appearance for the Celebs. He top-scored with 23 and, when we bowled, charged in like a demented rhino to take 2 for 14. He was put out to grass afterwards. Our batting was bolstered by a somewhat lengthy knock from Graham Gomm, who was eventually run out for 18, and your beloved president finished on 19 not out. RSA's one class batsman made 58 not out, but the Celebs bowlers took wickets at regular intervals – all of them taking wickets and led by Malcolm Evans with 3 for 38 – and the home side could muster only 131. Our game against Independent that year produced one of the most one-sided results of the Celebs 17-year history, and we were on the wrong end of it. Independent made 239 for 6 and the Celebs replied with just 115, in spite of 42 from Michael Wood and 30 from Dave Haynes. We moved rapidly on to the Bristol County Ground to meet our friends from DAS and fared much better with the bat. Adrian Susman made 53 retired, Malcolm Evans 31, Nick Pound 27 and our guest Mitchell Neale 48, in a good total of 214 for 8. Although Dave Haynes made 50 (of course) for DAS, Jim Robinson took 3 for 29 and Jon Hurley 2 for 47, to send DAS to a 30-run defeat.
2000 – A Thrilling Finish
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ur final visit to Inglewood was in June 2000. We managed only 95, with Nick Pound making 24 and Malcolm Evans 20. RSA's reply was 97 for 8, with five overs to spare. Alistair McLaren, Andy Parkinson and John Davidson each took two wickets.
Probably the most thrilling finish to a Celebs game came in the next match, in which Independent made 187 for 6 (Neil Williams, later to be the subject of an expensive transfer to Celebs ranks, making 50 retired), restricted only by the four wickets from Adrian Susman and Mark Feltham's 1 for 19 in eight overs.
Celebs v RSA, Inglewood, June 2000 4 the celebs
In reply, Michael Wood made 42 and Mark Feltham 35, but the Celebs arrived at the last five overs still needing 53 to win. Adrian Susman (34 not out) and Jim Robinson (23 not out) made it with three balls to
A victorious sun-kissed Celebs XI, plus umpire, at Edenbridge 2000. Man of the match front right
spare, Adrian having hit the last three balls for boundaries. A win by three wickets in the final over – and probably the cause of the president's dicky ticker. At Bristol next month, Jim Robinson was again the batting star, with 31, well supported by our guest for the day Gareth Callow, with 47 not out, as the Celebs totalled 176. The DAS innings never got off the ground and they were all out for 75 (Neil Hames 4 for 25, Adrian Susman 3 for 11 and Nick Pound 2 for 10).
2001 – First Taste of Touring
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e started 2001 with another visit to Bristol, where we rattled up 214 for 6 in our 40 overs against DAS. Adrian Susman made 50 retired and Alistair McLaren 31 and Nick Pound 34, including three sixes. We had two guests who did well, Andy Hill hitting 29 and Phil Kelly 46. A couple of DAS batsmen made useful scores and a Lyndon Willshire (yes, that Lyndon Willshire) made 32, but the home side finished well short of their target on 181 all out. Nick Pound completed a good day by taking 4 for 26. An innovation in 2001 was the Celebs “tour” to Chepstow, thanks to the organisational skills of Lloyd Hanks. We made the Chepstow Hotel our base and played cricket on the Bank Holiday Monday, followed by golf the next day. A score of 199 for 8 on the first day included 50 from Alistair McLaren, 31 from Jim Robinson and 21 from Adrian Susman. Although Paul Bennett made what was to become his customary 50 retired against us, the Celebs bowlers all did well, led by that man Jim Robinson again (3 for 27). A notable entry in the scorebook reads “B.Susman, 2 for 5”. The Celebs' winning margin was 64. Back to the hotel for a few drinks and a presidential quiz, which revealed the expertise of Jon Hurley and Geoff Doyle in their knowledge of some pretty obscure pop music matters (whatever became of Eden Kane?). History does not record what became of the golfers next day, but the whole experience was so successful that it became the pattern for a number of succeeding years. the celebs 5
2002 – Trent Bridge in the Rain
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ere was something different and wholly memorable. Geoff Mayhew's wonderful connections with all things test cricket at that time resulted in our being invited to take on Allianz Cornhill at no less than Trent Bridge in May. Great idea; wonderful opportunity; but no-one told the weather gods what to do. It rained incessantly, and play was impossible. Rain stopped play at Trent Bridge, May 2002. Allianz Cornhill “ringer”, Instead an ad hoc six-a-side Chris Broad, with bat in hand tournament was organised in the indoor school there, where the results are not fully recorded, but most of us remember Jim Robinson running out Allianz Cornhill's guest, Chris Broad, for a duck. It wasn't easy to tell whether it was a grin or a grimace on Mr Broad's face as he departed – but the odds were on the latter. The good news was that we were invited to return the following year, in the hope of better weather. It was just about now – can't be sure, as the event was not recorded in the scorebook – that the Celebs were invited to enter a team into a charity six-a-side event, organised by the Professional Cricketers Association, at Sir Paul Getty's private ground at Wormsley, Bucks. A sharp reminder of the importance of the man was given when we were requested to give a list of car registration numbers prior to the event, so that they could be allowed admission to the estate. A half-a-mile or so inside the gates brought us to the spectacular ground, where the outfield itself would have been perfectly adequate as a wicket. We put together an eight-man squad and were provided, like all the teams, with our own professional The Celebs squad for the six-a-side tournament at Sir Paul Getty's for the day – in our case ground (possibly August 2002), with our professional, Jeremy Snape, in Jeremy Snape, who went on the centre in later life to provide psychological advice to the South African team. Frankly, he was just a bit of a disappointment, not contributing too much to the team's overall performance or to general bonhomie (needed a bit of psychological advice, perhaps?). 6 the celebs
Our six failed to get through the “round robin” stages, but enjoyed three competitive games in the beautiful surroundings, while the rest of us lazed in the sun and took in the sights and sounds. We all took full advantage of the delicious lunch served during the day and, although we managed only a creditable sixth place out of How would you like this in your back garden? eight teams, it was a thoroughly memorable experience.
Sir Paul Getty has it
Our “regular season” cricket began in June with a visit to Aigburth, Liverpool, a ground occasionally used by Lancashire, with a somewhat dilapidated old pavilion that belied the excellence of the wicket. Celebs batted first and, with a powerful top order all making good contributions, we ran up 222 for 3 in 30 overs. Neil Hames made 52, Andy Wiseman 44, Neil Williams 31 and Chris Moseley 47. Then it rained – end of story. It was clearly a poor year weather-wise, as the scorebook shows no game against DAS. Our next encounter was with Chepstow again and resulted in another win for the Celebs – by one run! Our total of 194 for 8 included 50 from Adrian Susman, 39 from Neil Hames, 32 from Geoff Doyle, and 29 not out from Malcolm Evans. There was a 50 from a junior Hanks in Chepstow's reply, and that man Bennett made 42 not out, but with yet another two-wicket haul from your president “at the death” (2 for 10), Chepstow were one run short at the end – 193 for 8.
2003 – Trent Bridge in the Sun
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rue to their word, Allianz Cornhill, through our man Geoff Mayhew, arranged another fixture for us in 2003 at Trent Bridge. This time, the weather was fine, and the wicket was as perfect as you would expect. Our hosts batted first and, having confessed to having a couple of “ringers” as late replacements, had Derek Randall batting at number one and Chris Broad at number six. Alistair McLaren and Andy Parkinson were the lucky ones to find themselves opening the bowling against Derek Randall, who proceeded as if the years had taken no toll, and cruised to Neil Hames and Dave Haynes open the batting at Trent Bridge, June 2003 50 retired in no time. the celebs 7
There followed a succession of good scores, resulting in a 40-over total of 276 for 4, with Chris Broad making an early retirement on 32. Our most successful bowler was Neil Hames with 2 for 44, and he went on to open with 28 when the Celebs batted. Andy Parkinson made 36, Adrian Susman 32 and Jim Robinson 25. Your president has dined for years off the Champagne moment – the president hits Derek Randall for six at fact that he hit Derek Trent Bridge Randall for six, but has been somewhat more reticent to go on to say that he was caught off the same bowler next ball. The Celebs finished on 209 all out, losing by 67 runs. But it was a wholly memorable day, topped off with a superb dinner afterwards. The RSA fixture was renewed next, although the game was now played on the Bristol County Ground, where the Celebs made their highest ever score – 295 for 3. There were 50s for Jim Robinson, Andy Parkinson and, wait for it, Lloyd Hanks. Neil Hames hit 36 and Don Oakley was clearly in no mood to over-exert himself as he hit 33 not out which included six boundaries and a six. RSA were never able to match the target and finished 133 all out, with all seven bowlers used by the Celebs taking wickets, including the final wicket for Graham Gomm. We were brought down to earth at Chepstow, our total of 172 for 8 hardly testing the strong home batting line-up, in spite of a 50 for Neil Hames and 42 from Andy Wiseman. Chepstow had six overs to spare in totalling 174 for 3.
2004 – A Celebs Hat-trick
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he 2004 season kicked off with a positive drubbing from RSA. We returned to the Aigburth ground and made what seemed a reasonable total, in Celebs terms, of 201 all out. That included a 50 from Chris Moseley, 23 from John Dobson and 20s also from a couple of guests. But a powerful batting display from RSA gave them a 10wicket win, with 14 overs to spare.
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Celebs XI v RSA, Aigburth, Liverpool, July 2004
We couldn't wait, after that, for an opportunity to change things around. We were presented with that chance with our annual meeting with DAS, which was now switched to the super setting and facilities at Claverham CC, in North Somerset, where the day got off to a great start with Christine's bacon rolls awaiting us. The Celebs made 225 for 7, with seven batsmen reaching double figures, led by Geoff Doyle with 42, Jim Robinson (34 not out) and Alistair McLaren (33 not out). When the home side batted, the scoreboard had not advanced beyond nought when the first three DAS batsmen were back in the pavilion. They were the victims of the Celebs' one and only hat-trick – by John Davidson in his first over – and all three were, at other times, respected Celebs members – Dave Haynes, Peter Thorpe and Andy Parkinson. Celebs won by 96 runs, with your president snapping up 3 for 8, in what was later described as a “hostile spell” (by your president!). John Davidson had pushed off early, after the exertions of his hat-trick, just to be on the safe side. We went on to another taste Adrian Susman and Jim Robinson in action at New Road, Worcester, of county ground cricket, August 2004 with a match against Allianz Cornhill at the Worcester New Road ground. The setting was superb, the hospitality was great and the day was enjoyed by all, in spite of the Celebs losing by four wickets. In our 238 for 7, there were 50s for Adrian Susman, Jim Robinson and John Dobson. Neil Hames bowled outstandingly well to take 4 for 26 in his eight overs but, on a good New Road wicket, our hosts got the winning runs with a couple of overs to spare.
The Celebs XI, plus umpire Graham Getgood, at Worcester
Which just left us with the Chepstow tour match. No fewer than eight batsmen made double figures for the Celebs, as we put up a total of 167 for 8. Top scorers were Dave Haynes (25) and Geoff Mayhew (20 not out), the latter being rewarded, when Chepstow batted, with a posting to what became his customary fielding position, at the bottom of the hill. the celebs 9
Chepstow made 168 for 4, with plenty to spare, the only highlight being the home side's scorer, who insisted on referring to everything half-decent as “legend” and everything halfpoor as “village” – expressions that found their way into Celebs folk lore.
2005 – First Clash with Oval
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he new season brought a new fixture. Oval Insurance boss Phillip Hodson approached your president with a challenge, which resulted in our meeting Oval at the Sheffield Collegiate ground, where we soon found out just how strong Oval could be. Their 40 overs produced 250 for 4, the wickets being shared between Andy Parkinson and John Dobson. Our reply fell almost 100 runs short at 153, including 38 from Andy Wiseman, 20 from Geoff Doyle, 27 from Adrian Susman and 22 not out from Andy Parkinson. We then had the pleasure of meeting Allianz Cornhill on the superb Bank of England sports ground at Roehampton, where the wicket was as good a batting track as any we found anywhere. We made fairly good use of it, hitting 253 for 4, with a 50 from Dave Haynes and from Michael Wood, and other good scores from Don Oakley (40 not out), Brian Susman – oh yes! (25 not out), and Andy Parkinson (23). A-C made even better use of the wicket, hitting 257 for 2, both wickets falling to the wiles of Geoff Doyle. Claverham produced a fine day in 2005, with the Celebs making 205 for 4, led by Adrian Susman (37), Chris Moseley (31) and Andy Wiseman (29), plus a 50 from our guest for the day, Rhys Thomas. DAS won with 206 for 8, which Celebs XI v DAS, Claverham, August 2005 included a couple of good scores from Celebs Lyndon Willshire (44) and Andy Parkinson (38 not out). Our run of defeats at Chepstow continued that year. The Celebs managed just 179 all out, with Dave Haynes making 46 and Andy Wiseman 42, before Lloyd Hanks hit a rapid 30 not out at the end. But it was never likely to test Chepstow, who made 183 for 4, with another of the Hanks dynasty, Chris, making 46 not out.
2006 – Bacon rolls OK
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or the 2006 season we found ourselves with only two games to play. The first took us back to Claverham, largely to confirm that Christine's bacon rolls were still in good order. They were! The Celebs went on to make 175 for 7 (Dave Haynes 45, Geoff Doyle 29, and Adrian Susman 19), which was not enough to trouble DAS, for whom that man Lyndon Willshire retired on 53 (that's runs, not age), and Andy Parkinson made 26. 10 the celebs
Our other match of the season was against Chepstow, where we suffered a 95-run defeat. All was going well until Chepstow got down to their “proper” batsmen, and their score rose from 153 after 30 overs to 222 for 6 after 40. Alistair McLaren was the only bowler to do well, with 3 for 36 in his eight overs. Celebs on tour, August 2006, Chepstow CC. Unfortunately the girls weren't playing tennis at the time
Guesting for the Celebs, Chris Hanks made 52 (retired) and there was 22 from his old man. Alistair McLaren aded 21, but we fell well short at 165 all out.
2007 – Who got a 50 at the Oval?
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he 2007 season brought another special treat. A presidential lunch at the Oval resulted in a challenge (somewhat prompted, it has to be said) from Brit Insurance, then sponsors of cricket at the Brit Oval, for a match there. It was played in May
“So there we were at the Oval ….. “ The Celebs XI v Brit Insurance, May 2007
and got off to a hesitant beginning, when rain prevented the scheduled start. That resulted in a fascinating private tour of the ground for the Celebs squad.
Adrian Susman and Don Oakley have their names up in lights on the Oval scoreboard, with the famous gasometer in the background
After an early lunch (yes, that is what it was, Dotty – lunch!), the Celebs won the toss and had first use of a strip which had, the previous week, yielded over 1,000 runs in a county the celebs 11
match. The Celebs batsmen “dipped their bread”, not least Geoff Doyle, who earned the considerable honour of being able to parade the fact that he scored a 50 at the Oval. All right it occupied 100 balls, but you can't take the 50 away from him. Others did well too – Dave Haynes 24, Adrian Susman 38 not out and Don Oakley 38 not out – with the latter two putting on 90 in the last 10 overs, with the Celebs score reaching 215 for 3. However, Brit had little difficulty in getting 218 for 6 with a couple of overs to spare, in spite of two wickets for Brian Lambert and Adrian Susman, and one each for Jon Hurley and Jim Robinson. It was then back to Sheffield for the meeting with Oval Insurance, which resulted in another hefty defeat for the Celebs. Oval made 204 for 7 (Chris Butterworth, guesting for the Celebs from SSP, Halifax, taking 2 for 14 in eight overs), and the Celebs replied with just 119. Things didn't improve much against Chepstow. The home side rattled up 211 for 2, and the Celebs could manage only 107 all out, with Andy Parkinson making half of those (53 not out).
2008 – Stately home; Stately defeat
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he annual meeting with Oval Insurance was now switched to the splendours of Chatsworth House grounds, In front of the picturesque pavilion at Chatsworth, June 2008 where the quaint thatched pavilion offered some quaint changing facilities, all made up for by the superb surroundings, good hospitality and a quite outstanding barbecue (they know how to cook in the Chatsworth staff!).
Andy Wiseman and John Dobson in action for the Celebs at Chatsworth 12 the celebs
As for the cricket, that matched the usual formula with our games against Oval Insurance. The “home” side made 186 for 9, with all six Celebs bowlers taking one or two wickets. There were good contributions from all five of the Celebs top batsmen (Neil Hames 38, Keith Fowles 37, Don Oakley 24, John Dobson 28 and Dave Haynes 20), but we were never quite up with the required rate and finally fell short by 6 runs.
Next up was a “special” at the beautiful Enville Estate in South Staffs, where the Celebs met the president's “other” team, the Bedouins, in a 40-over Sunday afternoon game, to celebrate the president's 70th birthday. The Celebs score of 182 for 3 included 50 (retired) from Dave Haynes, 38 from Keith Keith Fowles and Dave Haynes opening the batting for the Celebs v Fowles, 35 from Don Oakley Bedouins at Enville, June 2008, with what some regard as the best view and 26 not out from Ryan of umpire GG foreground Thorpe. But the Bedouins batsmen were in belligerent mood, knocking off the runs to finish on 187 for 1 after just 27 overs. Fortunately the bar facilities at Enville are excellent and the catering to match. Plus the president had a great day! There must have been some bad weather again in 2008, for the scorebook gives no indication of a DAS game that year.
2009 – Best bowling figures – from a guest
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he 2009 season started with another pounding from our friends at Oval Insurance. The lovely Chatsworth once again provided a super setting and the Chatsworth catering was up to its usual standard – excellent.
Oval rattled up 244 for 7, Adrian Susman taking 2 for 30 in eight tidy overs, and the late lamented Andy Brooker, in his first game for the Celebs, 2 for 38. Adrian was also in good form with the bat, reaching the 50 retirement, and Don Oakley hit 24 not out, but at the close we had made just 170 for 7. Our old mate Phillip Hodson had rung through at the start of play to say he'd be late and could we fix it so that Oval batted first, in order for him to be around when our innings started so that he could bowl a few overs. We, of course, agreed, and he duly arrived, proceeding to take 1 for 9 in six overs – nice one, Mr Fixit!
Celebs XI v DAS, Claverham, September 2009
After a wash-out at Claverham in July, we managed to get the game on in September, when Celebs batted first and made 196 for 5, with 50 from Ryan Thorpe and 42 not out from Geoff Doyle. the celebs 13
The Celebs bowling featured the best bowling return ever for the Celebs, 6 for 40. Pity, then, that it came from a guest for the day, the president's friend from his “other” team, the Bedouins, Vernon Currie. The result was a 26-run win for the Celebs – which turned out to be our last-ever victory.
2010 – Nil return for Celebs
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t was the same old story in the Celebs meeting with Oval Insurance at Chatsworth in 2010. Oval ran up 194 for 8, including yet another 50 from our nemesis, John Randerson, but Steve McNally did well with the ball to take 3 for 32, well supported by Adrian Susman with 2 for 41. But once again the Oval bowlers proved too accurate for us (including another 9 runs in Celebs XI v Oval, Chatsworth, June 2010, before Andy Hawkes' visit to 6 overs for Phiilip Hodson, hospital for his damaged fetlock who was by now no less than President of the MCC) and, in spite of 27 from Keith Fowles and 23 not out from Adrian Susman, we were well short at the end on 131 for 9. On to Claverham in July, and things didn't get any better there. DAS made 238 for 5, including 50 retired from Steve McNally (changing his spots for the day) and 32 not out from Andy Parkinson. In our reply, Steve Maslin, making his one and only appearance for the Celebs (pity) made 63 not out and Keith Fowles 27, as we finished 48 runs short on 190 for 8.
2011 – Two narrow defeats
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t Chatsworth in 2011 we had one of our better days in the field, restricting Oval to 106 all out. All seven Celebs bowlers took wickets, led by Andy Parkinson (2 for 7) and Neil Hames (2 for 23). This was the occasion when someone (the scorebook does not disclose who) had the temerity to run the President of the MCC out first ball – oh dear. With a Celebs 10-over score of 20 for 5, it was always going to be tough going, but
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Will he … won't he ….. ? No, he won't. Brian Lambert at Chatsworth, June 2011
it was still a disappointment to subside to an all-out total of 89, only Steve McNally (24) and guest Pete Lennon (28) making much impression.
Celebs XI v DAS, Claverham, July 2011. Pity we couldn't get a smile out of Thorpe senior
At Claverham in July, the Celebs had reason to be grateful to Steve McNally, making a return to Celebs colours following his previous year's appearance for the opposition, as he made 50 retired. But noone else was able to make a telling contribution and we finished our 35 overs on 125 for 5.
It was a better score than we had thought. Our guest for the day Richard Spratley took 4 for 17, and Brian Lambert 3 for 18, as DAS inched their way to 97 for 7 after 25 overs. But they just managed to find the winning run in the 33rd over, with one wicket remaining.
2012 – Almost a complete wash-out
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t rained a bit during the summer of 2012, and we managed only one game that year – a new fixture against the Full Tossers CC on a Sunday afternoon in September at Little Missenden, arranged by our own Geoff Doyle, also a member of the Full Tossers.
The home side made 234 for 6 in their 40 overs, the pick of the Celebs bowlers being “new boy” Zahir Mohammed (2 for 11 in 8 overs) and Ryan Thorpe (2 for 26). The Celebs got off to a slow start (6 for 1 after 6 overs), but Neil Hames showed why he had been called up for international duty with an impressive 50, backed up by 20s from Keith Fowles, Don Oakley, Zahir Mohammed and Ryan Thorpe. But we were well beaten with a total of 176 for 8. Celebs XI v Full Tossers, Little Missenden, September 2012 the celebs 15
2013 – Signing off with defeats
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he Celebs embarked on what was to become their final season with another visit to the lovely surroundings of Claverham CC, with the whiff of Christine's bacon perfume making for a friendly welcome.
There was a solid performance from the Celebs batsmen, with Ryan Thorpe (50 retired), Don Oakley (38) and Keith Fowles (38) making decent scores. The Celebs posted a challenging total of 189 for 5. However, the home side seemed to have little difficulty in making the 190 for victory by 5 wickets with a couple of overs to spare. Zahir Mohammed and Brian Lambert both bowled well to take two wickets each. So to Little Missenden for the Celebs final game. Limited availability of Celebs members meant a number of last-minute guest players. They all contributed well in the Celebs batting, with two of them reaching 50s, backed up by Keith Fowles' 31. A total of 201 for 6 was expected to provide a challenge for the home batsmen. And so it proved, the winning runs only coming in the last over, after a final flourish from the later Full Tossers batsmen.
2014 – Time to reflect
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Celebs playing record of 42 matches played, 14 wins and 28 defeats appears to tell a tale of a team of generally quite useful cricketers under-achieving. But that tells only a fraction of the story.
Yes, we would have liked to win more games, and we complete our playing record secure in the knowledge that we never gave less than 100% in an effort to win more of them. But the really important point is that we enjoyed ourselves and each other's company and, with never a harsh word between us, we completed 17 memorable years of cricket.
Celebs dinner, Mill Hotel, Alveley, April 2010. Who's the only one with a glass in his hand? 16 the celebs
Along the way, we have been fortunate to have played at some wonderful locations – county grounds at Trent Bridge, the Oval, Worcester, Bristol and Liverpool; magnificent settings at Chatsworth, Wormsley and the Bank of England Sports Ground; friendly and attractive settings at Claverham, Inglewood, Enville, Chepstow, Little Missenden and Edenbridge. And let it never be forgotten that, in almost all those 42 games played, we had the undeniable pleasure of our own umpire – the almost legendary Goldfinger Graham Getgood – officiating for us.
Celebs dinner, April 2012. Brush up well, don't they?
We have made a host of new friends, done some business with people we might otherwise have not encountered, and, along the way, two or three careers have been given a bit of a push. I had certainly never imagined that the initial challenge from Independent would lead to so much and for so many years. I believe that part of the reason for our success lies in the fact that we have not had to cater for the sometimes clumsy committee structure of some clubs. Having only a few games a year made the committee approach unnecessary – and thank heavens for that, say I. It has led to the odd frustration for your president/selection manager/secretary/social secretary/etc but on the whole I ascribe to the theory “Autocracy rules, OK”. It all boils down to 17 years of cricket played “seriously for fun”.
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The Celebs CC Playing Record (1996 – 2013) Continued from inside front cover..... August 26 at Worcester County Ground – Celebs 238 for 7 (Adrian Susman 50*: Jim Robinson 50*: John Dobson 50*) Allianz Cornhill 243 for 6 (Neil Hames 4-26) August 31 at Chepstow – Celebs 167 for 8 (Dave Haynes 25: Geoff Mayhew 20*) Chepstow 168 for 4 2005: May 20 at Sheffield – Oval 250 for 4 ( Andy Parkinson 2-47: John Dobson 2-21) Celebs 153 (Andy Wiseman 38: Adrian Susman 27: Andy Parkinson 22*: Geoff Doyle 20) August 11 at Bank of England Sports Ground, Roehampton – Celebs 253 for 4 (Michael Wood 51*: Dave Haynes 51*: Don Oakley 40*: Brian Susman (!) 25*: Andy Parkinson 23) Allianz Cornhill 257 for 2 (Geoff Doyle 2-60) August 19 at Claverham – Celebs 205 for 4 (Adrian Susman 37: Chris Moseley 31: Andy Wiseman 29) DAS 206 for 8 (Lyndon Willshire 44: Andy Parkinson 38*:Adrian Susman 3-44: Jon Hurley 2-43) August 30 at Chepstow – Celebs 179 (Dave Haynes 46: Andy Wiseman 42) Chepstow 183 for 4 2006: August 5 at Claverham – Celebs 175 for 7 (Dave Haynes 45: Geoff Doyle 29) DAS 176 for 7 (Lyndon Willshire 53*: Andy Parkinson 26: Adrian Susman 2-36) August 29 at Chepstow – Chepstow 222 for 6 (Alistair McLaren 3-36) Celebs 165 (Chris Hanks 52*: Alistair McLaren 21) 2007: May 17 at the Brit Oval – Celebs 215 for 3 (Geoff Doyle 52: Don Oakley 38*; Adrian Susman 38*: Dave Haynes 24) Brit Insurance 218 for 6 (Adrian Susman 2-26: Brian Lambert 2-41) June 1 at Sheffield – Oval 180 for 7 (Chris Butterworth 2-14) Celebs 119 (Neil Hames 25: John Dobson 21) August 28 at Chepstow – Chepstow 211 for 2 Celebs 107 (Andy Parkinson 53)
June 22 at Enville – Celebs 183 for 3 (Dave Haynes 50*; Keith Fowles 38; Don Oakley 35; Ryan Thorpe 26*) Bedouins 187 for 1 2009: June 12 at Chatsworth – Oval 244 for 7 Celebs 170 for 7 (Adrian Susman 50*; Don Oakley 24*) September 4 at Claverham: Celebs 196 for 5 (Ryan Thorpe 50*; Geoff Doyle 42*; Dave Nash 22) DAS 170 (Vernon Currie 6 for 32) 2010: June 11 at Chatsworth: Oval 194 for 8 (McNally 3 for 32; Susman 2 for 41) Celebs 131 for 9 (Fowles 27; Susman 23 not out) July 23 at Claverham: DAS 238 for 5 (Susman 2 for 44) Celebs 190 for 8 (Maslin 63 not out; Fowles 27) 2011: June 3 at Chatsworth: Oval 106 (Parkinson 2 for 7; Hames 2 for 23) Celebs 89 (Lennon 28; McNally 24) July 22 at Claverham: Celebs 125 for 5 (McNally 50) DAS 126 for 9 (Lambert 3 for 18) 2012: September 9 at Little Missenden: Full Tossers CC 234 for 6 (Zahir 2 for 11; Thorpe 2 for 26) Celebs 176 for 8 (Hames 50; Thorpe R. 24; Zahir 23; Oakley 21; Fowles 21) 2013: June 21 at Claverham: Celebs 189 for 5 (Thorpe R. 50; Oakley 38; Fowles 38) DAS 190 for 5 (Zahir 2 for 33; Lambert 2 for 24) September 1 at Little Missenden: Celebs 201 for 6 (Baxter 53; Waseem 50; Fowles 31) Full Tossers 205 for 5
Played 43; Won 14; Lost 28;
2008: June 13 at Chatsworth – Oval 186 for 9 Celebs 180 for 7 (Neil Hames 38; Keith Fowles 37; John Dobson 28; Don Oakley 24; Dave Haynes 20*)
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