Joel Haver, Pretend That You Love Me, 2020, Film still
of camera movement in the whole film. Wide shots turn to close-ups which physically bring the audience closer to Joel. He expresses his doubts (“I need you, maybe, I don’t know”), his pains (“it hurts so bad I could cry”), and his desires (“I need something that feels like love”) as cuts show him having the same conversation with each partner. Many of the things that Joel wants are contradictory (“I need happiness, I need sadness. A calm for this madness”), highlighting the confusion and complexity in his mind that makes love
the brief connection between himself and the outside world. As Joel calls “cut,” it is revealed that everything the viewer has seen so far was a movie-within-a-movie that the “real” Joel was making in order to try to emulate the experience of love in his actual life (per the title, Pretend That You Love Me). Throughout the first part, the audience gets to know the more superficial version of Joel, while in the second part, Joel’s character is opened up and the audience is finally allowed to understand his feelings.
so difficult for him. Just as soon as it began, though, the song ends, the camera and lights return to their original positions, and Joel says “cut,” ending the first part of the film and severing
He is seen speaking at the funeral for his father, who was previously established to be one of Joel’s closest friends. Reference is made to the COVID-19 pandemic, which increased feelings of 54
