Victorian Mourning Interpretation For Historic Homes. Amanda Sedlak-Hevener

Victorian Mourning Interpretation For Historic Homes

By Amanda Sedlak-Hevener mandyhevener@gmail.com (reprinted from interpNEWS July 2017)

Victorian mourning rituals permeated the 19th century. They transformed a formerly simple act of mourning the dead into something elaborate. An entire industry sprang up around mourning rituals, with manufacturers creating specific clothing, bakeries making mourning biscuits and other foods, and even artisans designing jewelry made from the hair of dead loved ones. Books on proper mourning etiquette were produced and sold both in the U.S. and in England. The mourning process started when Queen Victoria’s husband, Prince Albert died of what is believed to be typhoid fever in 1861. They were apparently very much in love, and had a total of nine children together during their 21 year marriage. The dual loss of her mother, in March 1861, as well as her husband in December of that same year, caused Victoria to mourn deeply. She wore black clothing for the remainder of her life (even to her children’s weddings), and people dubbed her “the widow of Windsor.” This is where Victorian mourning customs come from - Queen Victoria’s actions. These customs spread across the pond and became the “only” way to mourn the loss of a loved one in America during the time period.

After Prince Albert’s death, Queen Victoria only used black-bordered stationary and refused to allow her daughters and aides to wear any jewelry other than jet beaded necklaces. (For the record, jet is considered a “minor gemstone” and its chemical makeup is similar to that of coal. It’s basically made of pressurized, decayed wood that has been smoothed and made shiny and turned into beads.) She memorialized him with public statuary, including an equestrian statue in Wolverhampton, in 1866, and a seated version of him covered in gilt located in Hyde Park that was put into place in 1877. Not to mention her creation of Royal Albert Hall. Even though Royal Albert Hall was his idea, construction of it did not begin until 1867, 6 years after his death.

Victorian mourning etiquette dictated how the deceased would be displayed, prior to burial. The body of the deceased was placed in the parlor or front room of his or her home in a coffin, which was sitting on top of sawhorses or simple wooden chairs. In most cases, the dead was embalmed (although not always). Flowers were placed in the room in order show that the deceased was loved, but also to mask the smell. Parlors were used because they were typically the best decorated rooms in the house. Houses of this time period were built with extra wide doors to allow the coffins to horizontally pass through them. The body was never left alone in the house. No matter what, the widow/widower/children/servants/someone was always there with it. A 24 hour vigil was the most common period for wakes, but some lasted 3 to 4 days, depending on the distance mourners had to travel.

Not only were there elaborate rituals in the home, but there was a mourning period that had to adhered to as well. This varied, based on the survivors of the deceased. Mourning pertaining to women was in three stages: deep mourning, second mourning, and half mourning. Deep mourning started immediately following death until a year and a day have a passed. Second mourning started after deep mourning, and lasted for 9 to 12 months. Half mourning came next, and lasted for 6 months. However, some women, like Queen Victoria, remained in mourning for the rest of their lives. This mourning was typically observed by widows, and sometimes by widowers, who could remarry during the mourning period. A widower who remarried while in mourning could wear a typical suit and tie on his wedding day, but had to go back into mourning the next day. Amazingly, his new wife had to go into mourning for the prior wife as well.

Mourning wasn’t just something practiced when a spouse died. Here are some mourning periods for other family members:

 For a parent: 6 months to a year  For children over 10 yrs old: 6 months to a year  For children under 10 yrs: 3 to 6 months  Infants: 6 weeks and up  For siblings: 6 to 8 months  For aunts and uncles: 3 to 6 months  For cousins: 6 weeks to 3 months  For aunts or uncles related by marriage: 6 weeks to 3 months  Grandparents: 6 months

Special clothing was the most important component of the mourning period. It was usually made of crepe – an uncomfortable black fabric known for turning a rusty color over time (where the term “widows weeds” comes from) or leaking dye all over the person wearing it. Those with more money could afford dresses made of wool, cotton, or a silk and wool blend called bombazine. Any type of cloth could typically be used, as long as it wasn’t shiny. Widowed women wore full length dresses with cape-like sleeves and high collars, styles of which went from lavish (for the wealthy) to simple (for the not-so-wealthy.) They also wore veils that covered their faces which were worn as such during the funeral/wake, and then pushed back so they could see for the rest of the mourning period. Mourning bonnets were also worn, in lieu of veils. Some went so far as to wear black gloves. During the ourning period, women wore very little jewelry and carried black bordered handkerchiefs, which were not fully dyed because of the instability of the color. No one wanted to get a face full of dye.

Men who lost their wives/children/loved ones wore black suits with simple white shirts, although some simply wore their everyday suit with a black armband. Scarves, stoles, and sashes (all in black, of course) were worn, as well as black shoes, gloves and hats. Some men wore regular hats with black “weepers,” which were thin strips of black crepe wrapped around like a hatband with black ribbons festooned onto them.

Children under the age of 12 in mourning wore white with black armbands during the summer months, and gray during the winter ones. However, they also wore black bonnets, sashes, ribbon trimming, and belts. Over the age of 12, children wore mourning clothing that was the same as that worn by adults.

Mourning wasn’t just practiced by the family of the deceased. Household servants and other mourners not in the direct line from the deceased wore mourning cockades and badges with their regular clothing. Everyone who came into contact with the deceased in his or her daily life had to go into mourning.

Special mourning jewelry was created to memorialize the deceased. This is where human hair brooches and bracelets, memory lockets, and other items came from. Black beads, such as jet, glass, clay, onyx, and vulcanite were favored, as well as cross pendants. The hair of the deceased was shaped into crosses and placed, alongside weeping willow branches, in shadowboxes. In some cases, the hair was sent by mail to a specialized artisan who then returned it in the correct woven form. Hairwork became a form of needlework, similar to needlepoint, and was popularized in women’s magazines at the time, such as Godey’s Lady’s Book.

Love me forever Victorian morning jewelry reliquary broach. In the house that was previously occupied by the deceased, a number of things had to be done before the first mourner arrived to pay their respects. Portraits and mirrors in the home (or anything shiny, like vases, in more extreme cases) were covered in black crepe fabric. A simple black-ribboned wreath, usually made of laurel, yew or boxwood, would be placed on the door, and the front door knob would be decorated with black ribbons. If the deceased were a child, white ribbons would be used instead. Some people draped their windows with black crepe as well. Every family photograph in the house would be turned around to face the wall, or, if it couldn’t be turned around, it was draped with fabric like the others. Also, clocks would be stopped at the time of death and left that way until the funeral ceremony ended.

After the house was ready, death announcements or funeral announcements would be sent out. In some cases, the announcements would be hand delivered, but they were mailed out as well. At one point during the Victorian Era, people asked the post office to produce special mourning stamps, as their regular colorful stamps were seen as too “cheery” to be used to mail out funeral announcements and death notices.

Once all of the mourners had paid their respects to the deceased, a funeral hearse would arrive to carry the coffin to the church for a religious ceremony. This ceremony could be elaborate or simple, depending on the religion and class status of the deceased and his or her family. The color of the draping on the hearse indicated whether or not the dead was an adult (black cloth) or a child (white cloth). The burial ritual at the ceremony was very similar to those practiced today, complete with a prayer and everyone gathering around the casket.

When the funeral ceremony was complete, people would go back to the home of the deceased and eat. A traditional tea or dinner was served. These mourning foods included ladyfingers, funeral pie, biscuits, and cakes. There were also funeral cookies, wrapped in paper with the deceased’s name and dates of birth and death printed on them. The meal was as simple or extravagant as the finances of the deceased’s family. Post funeral meals were a tradition from ancient times that are still practiced today.

Sometimes the biscuits would be wrapped in white paper with black sealing wax and handed out as funeral favors to those who couldn’t make it back to the house for the post-funeral meal. While some of the food served was produced in the household of the deceased, other things were purchased. Commercial bakeries made funeral biscuits wrapped in paper that were printed with “uplifting” quotes, poems and bible verses. These can be compared to the holy cards given out today, and were kept as morbid souvenirs of the deceased. Examples of Victorian mourning poems that were printed on these wrappings:

When ghastly Death, with unrelenting hand, Cuts down a father! brother! or a friend! The still small voice should make you understand, How afraid you are -- how near your final end. But if regardless and still warned in vain, No wonder if you sink to endless pain: Be wise before it's too late, use well each hour To make your calling and election sure.

AND

Thee we adore, eternal Name, and humbly bow to thee, How feeble is our mortal frame! What dying worms we be.

Our wasting lives grow shorter still, As days and months increase; And every beating pulse we tell, Leaves but the number less.

The year rolls round and steals away, The breath that first it gave; Whate'er we do, where'er we be, We're traveling to the grave.

In addition, despite the religiosity of the time period, spiritualism was popular. This was a way of communicating with the dead in the afterlife. Séances were held to communicate with deceased loved ones. This is where the idea of the classic séance comes in – a spiritualist/psychic sitting at a round table holding the hands of the loved ones who want to communicate with the deceased in the “other world.” And yes, knocking, thumping noises, eerie noises, tables falling over or tilting, etc were all an expected part of the séance. Although it could never be proven whether or not the psychic/medium ever contacted the dead, they certainly put on a show while trying to. One of the most famous practitioners of this newfound “spiritualism” was Mary Todd Lincoln, who held séances in the White House while her husband was president. After his death, her beliefs in this grew even stronger.

Photography was in existence, but many could not afford it, so only pictures taken of their loved ones happened after that particular loved one died. This led to death photography, where the dead would either be photographed alone, in some cases, laying on a bed, in a coffin, or propped up sitting or standing with the help of an elaborate set of stands. (Note: this practice is highly questioned today, and some scholars believe that photographs of the dead were never taken. However, their dissent hasn’t been proven either.) Makeup and prosthetic eyes would sometimes be applied to make the deceased look better, but sometimes they just left the him or her looking, well, dead. In some cases, the living posed alongside their dead loved one. This usually happened with children. Mourners would also have their photos taken holding pictures or a book of pictures of the deceased, as this would illustrate and memorialize the depth of their sorrow. In some cases, the photos of the dead would be taken in their homes, but in others, they would be transported (presumably by hearse) to a photography studio.

There was also spirit photography, which supposedly captured images of the dead was popular as well. Sometimes the images of the dead were superimposed behind a depiction of the living, using a kind of 19th century photoshop. In others, photos of the interior of the house were taken with ghostly images in them. Both were proof of the afterlife, and that the deceased was still around.

In all, Victorian mourning is a series of interesting and complex rituals that truly hearken back to another time period.

How To Set Up A Historic Home For A Victorian Mourning Ritual

Mirrors and portraits in the house must be covered with black cloth, preferably crepe.

In some cases, everything shiny in the house (vases, etc) was draped with black cloth as well.

All clocks must be stopped at the time the deceased passed into the next realm.

A black ribboned wreath is placed on the doors to the parlor. Other door knobs and hand rails are bedecked with black ribbons. If the deceased is a child, then white ribbons are appropriate.

Someone must sit alongside the deceased until the funeral procession begins.

White flowers were placed alongside the coffin, which usually sat on sawhorses or ladder-backed chairs.

Mourning a spouse traditionally had three periods: deep mourning (the first year), second mourning (the next 9 to 12 months after that), and half mourning (6 months after second mourning ended.)

Wakes traditionally took place in the home, although the body was embalmed at a funeral home.

The dead were carried out of the house feet first. This prevented him from looking back at the house and trying to get another family member to follow him in death.

This was more than a down-home simple way of mourning. It was very regimented and stoic and proper.