Se xualAssaul tAware ne ss F orL GBTQYouth Formanyy oungqueerpeopl e,par t i c i pat i ngi ns ex ualex per i enc esandt heL GBTQ s c enei nc l ubsandbar sc ans eem daunt i ng.Someofusmayhav egr ownupbei ngt ol dov erand ov ert hats exi s“i mmor al ”and“di s gus t i ng”.Howev er ,when i ti sdoner i ght ,s exc anbef un,l i ber at i ngandpl eas ur abl ef or ev er y onei nv ol v ed. Yet ,s ex ualas s aul tc ont i nuest ot ak epl ac et ooof t en.Notal l i ns t anc esofs ex ualas s aul ti nv ol v eaper pet r at orengagi ngi n phy s i c alv i ol enc e;att i mes ,c er t ai ns i t uat i onsmaybe per c ei v eddi f f er ent l ybyt hepar t i es .Thi sgui dei sabout r ec ogni s i ngwhens ex ualas s aul tt ak espl ac es owec anbet t er t ak ec ar eofour s el v esandt hos ear oundus .
UnderSi ngapor e’ sPenalCode, s exualas s aul ti nc l udest hef ol l owi ng: •Thepenet r at i onofanypar toft hebodywi t hout c ons ent( i nc l udi nganalpenet r at i on,penet r at i onby f i nger sandobj ec t s ,et c . ) •Anyunwant eds ex ualt ouc hi ng,k i s s i ng,s t r ok i ng,or gr opi ng,et c . •Unwant eds ex ualr eques t sormes s ages ,i nc l udi ng el ec t r oni cones . •Bei ngmadet ov i ewpor nogr aphyagai ns ty ourwi l l . •Unwant edt ak i ngors har i ngofnudeori nt i mat e phot ogr aphsandv i deos .
Conse ntandCoe rci on Cons enti st heac t i v e,c ont i nual ,andl uc i dagr eementt ot ak e par ti nas ex ualac t ,whi c hmus tbev ol unt ar i l yandf r eel ygi v en wi t houtpr es s ur eorc oer c i on.Cons enti sNOTi mpl i edont he bas i sofs i l enc e,pas ts ex ualhi s t or yorwhataper s oni swear i ng.Cons t antc ommuni c at i oni sk eyf orc ons entandc ons ent c anber ev ok edatanyt i medur i ngas ex ualac t .I nSi ngapor e t hel egalageofc ons enti s16;s ex ualac t swi t hany onebel ow t hi sagear eanof f ens e. Coer c i oni sac our s eofac t i onus edt oi nt i mi dat e,pr es s ur e,or f or c es omeonet opar t i c i pat ei ns ex ualac t i v i t ywi t houtphy s i c alf or c e.Thi sc ani nc l udet hr eat st or ape,t hr eat st oemot i onal l yabus e,t hr eat sofbl ac k mai l( e. g.r el eas i ngnudepi c t ur es orout i ngs omeonet opar ent s ) ,andt hef or c edi nt ak eofdr ugs s uc hasr ohy pnolandal c ohol .
Coer c i oni snotc ons ent :i fav i c t i m doesnots ay"no"under c oer c i on,i t ' sbec aus et heyc oul dnots ayi t .
MythsAbout Se xualAssaul t I ti s n' tvi ol enc e,i t ' sj us tac at f i ght .
I ti samy t ht hatv i ol enc ei ns ames exr el at i ons hi psi smut ual s i mpl ybec aus epar t ner sar eoft hes amegender ;di s mi s s i ng abus eass i mpl yaquar r eloraf i ghtof t ent r i v i al i z esand nor mal i z ess uc hbehav i our .Hav i ngequalphy s i c als t r engt h doesnotmeant hedi s t r i but i onofpoweri sequal .
I fyoudi dn’ ts t r uggl e,i twas n’ ts exualas s aul t .
Of t ent het hr eatt hatphy s i c alv i ol enc emi ghtgetwor s e mak esi ts af ernott of i ghtbac k ,ands ot hel ac kofa s t r uggl edoesnoti mpl yt hatt heac t i v i t yi sc ons ens ual . Cons enti sanac t i v epr oc es sandmus tbeent hus i as t i c al l y gi v endur i ngal ls t agesofs ex ualac t i v i t y .J us tbec aus ea per s ondoesnots ay“no”,does n’ tmeant heys ai d“y es . " Ac t i onss uc hast ur ni ngaway ,s i l enc e,gi v i ngex c us est o s t opac t i v i t i esi ndi c at enonc ons ent .
Ic ons ent edbef or e,s oi twas n’ ts exualas s aul t .
Cons entf oroneac t i v i t ydoesnotmeanc ons entf oral l ,asi t mus tbeac t i v eandc ont i nuous .Eac hac ti sdi f f er entand r equi r esc ommuni c at i on,andc ons entmaynev erbe pr es umedduet opas ts ex ualhi s t or y .Cons entt ooneac t doesnotmeanc ons entt oanot her .
Thevi c t i m wi l lal waysbef emmeands mal l er , t heper pet r at oral waysbut c handbi gger .
Poweri nr el at i ons hi psi snotdet er mi nedbys t r engt hor phy s i c alpr es ent at i on.Si z eandpr es ent at i ondonoti ndi c at e l i k el i hoodt oc ommi tv i ol enc eands ex ualas s aul t .
I twas n’ tas s aul t ,i twasj us texper i ment i ng.
Thi si sapos s i bl ec oer c i v et ac t i cus edbyper pet r at or st o f or c es ur v i v or si nt os ex ualac t s .Ev er y ones houl ds eek c ons entbef or et r y i ngs ex ualac t swi t hapar t ner .
Thel aw doesnotpr ot ec tt her i ght sof menwhohaves exwi t hmen.
Whi l eS377Ac ont i nuest or emai nont hebook s ,i ti snot pr oac t i v el yenf or c ed.Het er os ex ual i t yi snotac r i t er i af or s ex ualas s aul t ,ast hel awi sgender neut r alwi t hr egar dt ot he per pet r at orandv i c t i m.Thi smeanst hats ex ualas s aul ti s l egal l yr ec ogni s edbet weent women.Howev er ,i ti swor t h not i ngt hatt hepenal t yf orr ape,whi c hi snotl egal l y r ec ogni s edbet weent women,i smor es ev er et hant he penal t yf ors ex ualas s aul t .
Sce nari os Si t uat i onsar i s ebet weenal lk i ndsofpeopl e,i nc l udi nges t abl i s hedpar t ner s .Rec ogni s i ngt hes i gnsofs ex ualas s aul t ,as ei t herav i c t i m orper pet r at or ,i sk eyt opr ev ent i ngi t .Her ear e s c enar i osofhows ex ualas s aul tandhar as s mentc anl ook :
My r aandJ eanhav ebeendat i ngf orawhi l eandwhi l et hey hav ehook edup,t heyhav enev ers l eptt oget her .Oneni ght , J eani nv i t edMy r aov erandwhi l et heyar ek i s s i ng,J eanpr opos esmov i ngt hi ngsf ur t heral ong.My r ac onf es s est hats hei s notr eady ,butJ eanbec omesi mpat i entands t ar t st oac c us e My r aofbei ngas hamedofher .Shet hr eat enst ot el lMy r a' s f r i endsandf ami l yaboutt her el at i ons hi pi fMy r adoesnot s l eepwi t hher .Sc ar edt hats hewi l lbeout ed,My r aagr ees . Af t erc hat t i ngwi t hAr j unonHor net ,Rehaani sex c i t edt o meetupwi t hhi m.Ar j uns ugges t st hathec omeov erf oranal s ex .Rehaanagr eesandt heypi c kat i met hatev eni ng.When Rehaanar r i v esatAr j un’ spl ac e,her eal i z est hatt her ei sat hi r d per s on.Ar j uni nt r oduc est heper s onasAl ex ,ands ugges t s t hatt het hr eeoft hem hav es ext oget her .Rehaandi dnot wantat hr ees ome,butwaspr es s ur edi nt oengagi ngi ns ex ual ac t i v i t ywi t ht heot hert wo. J os ephandSam metatt hei runi v er s i t yandhav ebeens eei ng eac hot herf ors ev er almont hs .Sam,whoi sus ual l yat op, want sJ as on,whoi dent i f i esasapur ebot t om,t ot ophi m. J as ont el l sSam t hathei snotent i r el yc omf or t abl edoi ngs o, buti swi l l i ngt ogi v ei tat r y .Thet wooft hem ar ehav i ngs ex whenJ as ondec i dest hathei snotenj oy i ngt oppi ngSam and want st os t op.Sam i gnor esJ as on’ sr eques t .
Ti psf orAvoi di ngAndL e avi ng Ri skySi tuati ons Haveyourf r i endskeepaneyeoutf oryouwhenatac l uborbar “I ’ m goi ngt ogot al kt ot hatper s on,c any oul ookf ormebac kher ei n 30mi nut es ? ” Makes ur eyourpar t neri ss oberenought ogi vec ons ent “Howmuc hdi dy ouhav et odr i nk ?May bewec ans av et hi sf or anot herni ght . ” Setc l earboundar i esbef or es t ar t i nganys exualac t i vi t i es “I ’ m noti nt hemoodf oror alt oday ,butt ouc hi ngeac hot herwoul d begr eat . ” Ber es pec t f ulofyourpar t ner ’ sc omf or tl evel “I fy oudon’ tt hi nky ou’ denj oyanal ,wedon’ tneedt ot r y . ” Bes ur et oc l ar i f yi fs omeoneus esat er mt hatmi ghthaveadi f f er ent defini t i ont oyou “Byhook i ngup,doy oumeanabl owj obors omet hi ngmor e? ” Al waysac t i vel ys eekandgi vec ons entbef or eengagi ngi ns exualac t i vi t y “Doy ouwantt of eelmeup?I ’ l lgui dey ourhandwher ei t ’ sok ay t ot ouc h. ” Remembert hatyouar eneverent i t l edt ophys i c alac t i vi t ywi t hs omeone “I t ’ sal r i ghti fy oudon’ twantt ohav es exaf t eral l ,j us tl etmek now. ” As kt ot akeabr eakors l ow downi fyouar enots ur eyouar e c omf or t abl ec ont i nui ng “I ’ m nots ur ei fI ’ m upf ort haty et ,l et ’ ss l owdownandj us tk i s s f ornow. ” Befir m andas s er t i veaboutdi s c ont i nui nganyac t i vi t yi fi tbec omes unc omf or t abl e “Thi si sov er whel mi ngf orme,l et ’ ss t op. ” I fyourpar t nerexpr es s esdi s c omf or t ,s t opi mmedi at el y. “L et ’ ss t op.Doy ouneedmet ogi v ey ous omes pac e? ”
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Thi sbook l eti spr oduc edaspar toft heI nt er Uni v er s i t yL GBT Net wor k ' sef f or tt odev el opr el ev ants uppor tr es our c esf or L GBTQ+s t udent sandy out hi nSi ngapor e.Thi sr es our c ewoul d nothav ebeenpos s i bl ewi t houtt heef f or tanddedi c at i onofour v ol unt eer sandc ommuni t ypar t ner s ,AWARESi ngapor eandt he Sex ualAs s aul tCar eCent r e.Wewoul dal s ol i k et ot hankt heHi gh Commi s s i onofCanadaf ori t ss uppor toft hi spr oj ec t . TheI nt er Uni v er s i t yL GBTNet wor ki sanet wor kf oror gani s at i onsi n Si ngapor euni v er s i t i est oc ol l abor at ei nf os t er i ngs af erandmor e i nc l us i v es c hoolc ommuni t i esf orev er y oner egar dl es sofs ex ual or i ent at i on,genderi dent i t yandex pr es s i on. Weai mt oac hi ev eourgoalt of os t ers af erandmor ei nc l us i v es c hool c ommuni t i esby : •Out r eac h:Rai s i ngawar enes sandpr omot i ngunder s t andi ngofgender ands ex ualdi v er s i t yonc ampus •Suppor t :Suppor t i nggenderands ex ual l ydi v er s es t udent st hr ough c r eat i ngs af eandi nc l us i v es pac esf ornet wor k i ng,peers uppor tand s oc i alengagement •Res ear c h& Advoc ac y:Conduc t i ngr el ev antandi nc i s i v er es ear c ht o ef f ec t i v el yadv oc at ef ors af erandmor ei nc l us i v ei ns t i t ut i onalpol i c i es andpr ac t i c esi nt hei nt er es tofgenderands ex ual l ydi v er s es t udent s f b. c om/ I nt er Uni L GBTNet wor k ht t p: / / I nt er Uni L GBT. wi x . c om/ I nt er Uni L GBT i nt er uni l gbt @gmai l . c om
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