The Remarkable Things are Harder to See

On Tour With the Kid: CHLOE O'SULLIVAN

As February begins, my thoughts have gone from holiday relaxation to making the most of the school year for the kid. It feels like there is so much more for our little ones to navigate. Last year was tough, and it was difficult as the new year rolled around. I struggled to remember some of the wonderful things that happened as they were so blurred by big and tragic life events.

I needed to find a way to focus on the good and navigate the tough things that come our way. So we made a list.

GOOD NEWS TIN – Every time something great happens. An achievement at school, making a new friend, an experience that makes one of us smile, we will write it down. We will take pen to paper, fold it up and put it in the tin. Then, as the end of the year approaches, we will

sit down over dinner and go through all those little moments. Even if there have been awful things, it is just a reminder that there were still moments of sunshine.

THE CAN I ASK BOOK – The kid is at an age where there are questions you are too embarrassed to ask your mum. As close as we are, I am sure there are things that she looks up online or talks to her friends about. As lovely as her group of friends is, there is going to be some misinformation floating around, so I needed a system where she could come to me no matter what the question is. We have a book sitting on a table at our house that I check every day. Any question that she wants to ask me that she does not feel like she can ask me face to face, she writes in that book. I answer in writing, and we have a little system that lets me know if it is something she wants to talk about further, and we have that conversation. It’s not perfect, but it is working.

THE PROJECT – As a kid, you have extraordinarily little control. There are good reasons for this. No one wants the kid who last lost her mind because I put too much vegemite on her toast in charge. My mum and I, however,

were a team. Where she could, she made me feel like my input was important. It’s hard to tell a kid that they should stand up for themselves if their thoughts and ideas are constantly being dismissed.

During COVID, so many artists I work with lost the ability to make money and perform. I decided on the other side of that to create a space for small shows in case we were to ever land in that situation again, and the kid is going to help me. She is helping make plans for construction and electrical outlets. She will plan and oversee the design and decoration and is working to a budget. She has made a form we are sending to professionals we work with to find out what needs to be included. So far, she has done a fantastic job.

The project should take a year, and aside from feeling like her opinion is valued and her input is important, it is getting her to use the iPad for something practical rather than just scrolling through TikTok!

I hope all these things help make a difference. It will not change the sad things that come our way, but it will give us a new perspective on the good things, which is all we can do. Good luck to all my fellow caregivers. Here we go again.