In Unison, playaz issue - 2009 by USU Students' Association at Unitec

FR EE

The Playaz Issue Issue 06

ITE

usu

In Unison, Playaz Issue.indd 1

STU

THE BIGGEST PLAYA AT UNITEC / FASHION ONLINE DATING / POLITICAL PLAYAZ / NEWS

www.usu.co.nz/inunison

AT ’A SSOCIATION

28/05/2009 6:45:52 p.m.

ITE

usu

STU

AT ’A SSOCIATION

USU PRESENTS:

Hypnotist USU PRESENTS: CONCORD DAWN WESLEY UPFOLD ANTIFORM WITH

( LIVE SET )

AND

PAGE 3

D IRECT FROM SOUT H A F R I C A

W E D N E S DAY 2 9 J ULY - 7 P M

F R I D AY 31 J U LY - 8 P M

$5 U S U M E M B E R S (UN I T E C S T U D E N T S )

$ 10 U SU MEMB ERS (U N ITEC STU DEN T S)

CARRINGTON’S

BUILDING 33

UNITEC

MT ALBERT

$ 10 D OOR SAL ES (IF AVAI L AB L E)

$ 10 N ON- ME MBE RS (E VE RYONE E L SE )

TICKETS FROM USU RECEPTION (BLDG 180 - THE HUB) | R18 (ID REQUIRED)

WWW.USU.CO.NZ

BUILDING 202

GAT E 1

UNITEC

$ 2 0 N ON - MEMB ERS (EVERYON E EL SE)

MT ALBERT

$ 2 0 D O O R SA LE S (IF AVA IL A BLE )

TICKETS FROM USU RECEPTION (BLDG 180 - THE HUB) | R18 (ID REQUIRED)

WWW.USU.CO.NZ

the usu

comedy show A

J OK E R

J o k e r

J OK E R

A ke Ao

J OK E

2009

Steve Wrigley Ben Hurley Irene Pink T H U R S D AY 3 0 J U LY - 7 P M CARRINGTON’S $ 10 USU M EM BERS ( U N I TEC STUDEN T S)

BUILDING 33

UNITEC

$20 N ON-MEMB ERS (EVERYONE EL SE)

MT ALBERT

$20 D OO R SALE S (I F AVAI L ABLE )

FRIDAY 7 AUGUST AT WAIKATO UNIVERSITY

SPORTS AVAILABLE: FOOTBALL ROWING Registrations close Wednesday 29th July

TICKETS FROM USU RECEPTION (BLDG 180 - THE HUB) | R18 (ID REQUIRED)

WWW.USU.CO.NZ In Unison, Playaz Issue.indd 2

WWW.USU.CO.NZ 28/05/2009 6:45:58 p.m.

The Playaz Issue, 2nd June 2009

’A SS

ITE

usu OCIATION

STU

regulars

Contents

features

Political Playaz Interviews with the Mt Albert By-Election Candidates

Interview with a Lady’s Man

Online D8ing

Editorial

Poll/Comic

Tirade

Fashion on Campus

News

Photos

17 23

Gig Guide

23 24

Newsbot

Dear Barbie

Reviews

29 30

Artist/Grad Profile

Whakarongo Mai Sport Column

Recipes

USU STUDENTS’ ASSOCIATION AT UNITEC

EDITORIAL INQUIRIES: ph. (09) 815 4321 ext 7927 inunison@unitec.ac.nz PO Box 44016, Pt Chevalier CREDITS EDITOR: Stacey Knott DESIGNER: Erin Gaffney COVER ILLUSTRATION: Savannah MacIntosh

In Unison, Playaz Issue.indd 3

ADVERTISING INQUIRIES: ph. (09) 815 4321 ext. 7384 usuadvertising@unitec.ac.nz

DISCLAIMER Opinions expressed in this publication are not necessarily those of the publishers. Submission and contributors are welcome, but the publisher reserves the right to select and edit the material submitted. Materials submitted will remain property of the publisher, unless alternative arrangements are made.

CONTRIBUTORS Joseph Harper / Megha Kehar / Susannah Aitken Stephanie McColl / Savannah MacIntosh / Greg Powell Newsbot / Leah Garcia-Purves / Barbie

28/05/2009 6:46:00 p.m.

editorial

AH POLITICS AND THE PEOPLE WHO PLAY THAT GAME...

politics

The last few weeks have been pretty interesting round here with the up-coming Mt Albert by-election, I live in the area and I’m getting rather sick of seeing the politicians and their cohorts standing on street corners waving placards - hustling for hoots, interrupting me at cafes, or simply seeing their mugs on every fifth fence in the area. The media coverage of the election has left no stone unturned, and has shown Melissa Lee’s campaign to be particularly awkward, it’s almost been painful to watch. The campaign quickly spiralled out of control for Lee. The TVNZ investigation exposed her to initial media criticism and was followed by fumble after fumble from the National candidate. Her ignorant comments about South Auckland criminals kicked off a spate of foolish remarks and cringe-worthy moments, including the verbal screw up on TV3, admitting defeat on RNZ and her crucifixion at the hands on Auckland Uni students who called her racist. Before a recent debate between the candidates, I emailed them all and asked them some pretty light questions for a feature for this issue. While the other candidates gave reasonably guarded answers, Ms Lee stuck her foot in it again and said she would like to smack some sense into the media, and is tempted to take a gun to us. So when she came to Unitec for the debate I had to confront her about it and true to form Lee attracted national attention as she tried to retract what she had said. One would think a politician who had previously been grilled for so many stuff-ups would be more scrupulous with what she says, or as she claimed, is said for her. Lee and the other candidates from the main parties were asked questions by your president, Greg Powell at this forum on Monday last week in The Hub. Personally I thought the questions written and asked by Powell were ridiculous and irrelevant, with nothing to do with tertiary education or students, seeing as he is representing the students of Unitec you would think these would be more pressing than asking “if you weren’t in politics, what you would be doing.”? I do not openly pledge political allegiances as suggested on the In Unison site by a commenter, and I have no interest in upholding any kind of reputation for Unitec, as another commenter has wrongly assumed. The question originally asked in the email was not after any kind of serious response, just adding a bit of humour, with the intention that more students who are not at all interested in this campaign will read it (and hopefully read the more serious questions). The other candidates answered the questions in good humour and could not be open for ridicule as Lee was. Political players all need to be aware of the media, as it is our job to keep them honest and make sure they are doing their jobs properly and serving the people who elected them. And student politicians are no exception. In Unison has been having some interesting conversations with Powell over the exec reports we write each issue. These are reports on the meetings the USU exec has every fortnight where they discuss issue...and eat food. We always write about the food, because sometimes it is the most newsworthy thing, and also, it adds something interesting to an otherwise boring meeting.

It is your money paying these guys and buying their food, but apparently you don’t deserve to know this. Powell has slammed his fist down and told us no more reporting on what the exec eat, so as you may notice over on page 11 the exec column is a hell of a lot more boring now. Seems Powell is forgetting that fact that one of In Unison’s responsibilities, as laid out in our charter, is to keep the USU and the exec in line. But to date, every time we write something that makes them look bad, they will make a huge fuss. Everything we print in the news is true and we try and find as much information as well can on the issues, including both sides of the issue; that is how news works. Our charter says “In Unison serves a valuable role in holding accountable the elected representatives of the Association and communicating their decisions to the public. In Unison also has a responsibility to report on the use of member funds.” When I tried to ask Powell how much is spent on the exec, he threatened me over the issue. He told me he will happily dig up details of where In Unison spends its money, which is also mostly your money.This I assume, was an attempt to deter me from further investigating this matter. However, I’m all for transparency, and every cent spent so far by me has been for the benefit of the magazines which you, I hope, enjoy. And anyway, Powell and his exec are responsible for signing off how much money is spent on the magazine, I do not set my budget. If you are not happy with how your money is being spent maybe you should do something about it. In the next issue of In Unison we will be exploring the subject of voluntary membership, and if that is something the USU could be looking at. The charter also states we must give Powell a right of reply for everything written about the USU or the USU staff which might damage their reputation, so for a student president so sensitive to criticism, so I’m sure his reply will be below. Stacey Knott In Unison Editor 2009.

GREG POWELL’S RESPONSE: It seems strange to have a battle over reporting on food? I am guessing that this has stemmed from a constructive comment that the reporter attending the meetings should be more concerned with a news report than the menu. Is the type of pizza really that exciting to read about? Surely the actual agenda discussed at the meeting is more important to dedicate the word limit to? As to transparency over funding, USU is a charitable not-forprofit organisation and our accounts are audited by an external agency and published online http://www.usu.co.nz/about/ and the charities registrar. The average cost of food is about $60-$70. This feeds 12 people including the news reporter working out to just below $6 per person. Meetings usually happen about tea time and after a full day studying it just seems reasonable to feed people before they sit through what could be a 3 hour meeting

usu

In Unison, Playaz Issue.indd 4

28/05/2009 6:46:05 p.m.

WHAT IS YOUR BEST OR WORST DATING EXPERIENCE? HAVE YOU EVER PLAYED OR BEEN PLAYED? DO YOU ABBREVIATE YOUR MESSAGES WHEN TEXTING AND WHAT IS YOUR FAVOURITE ACRONYM? Mansoor Masad is doing a diploma in architecture

“Took a girl out for lunch turns out everything got mixed up, I had planned it for a week. No Yes, I do.” Angela March studies communications

“Really awkward date – he was trying to really impress but got too drunk on wine. No. I spell out the words, I’m pretty old school” Amy Rosebourn studies sport

“My best was when my boyfriend picked me up and took me to Piha. No, not like that. A bit of both, I use LOL a lot.”

etc. etc.

VOX POP

WHO DO YOU THINK WILL WIN THE MT ALBERT BY-ELECTION? 26% MELISSA LEE - NATIONAL

53% DAVID SHEARER - LABOUR 19% RUSSEL NORMAN - GREENS 3% JOHN BOSCAWEN - ACT

Scott Siaki studies plumbing

“Don’t know, don’t really have one Yes and Yes. At a party I hooked up with some girl when I was drunk. Yes and LOL”

SOURCE: www.usu.co.nz

usu

In Unison, Playaz Issue.indd 5

28/05/2009 6:46:14 p.m.

the president’s tirade

Tirade

NI HAO… PlaYaZ, it seems that the whole world is a stage for them. The politicians seem to want to play you by placing motorways through your neighbourhood without consulting you about your house that is being knocked over. The media want to play you by confusing the truth and firing up your emotions on out of context comments (generally made by politicians). The tax man wants to play you by taking your hard earned money and giving it to construction companies that build motorways that you have not been consulted about and need to knock your house over for. Snoop wants to play everyone that exists! And Dr Dre wants to as well! For all I know you are the player, yet are you yourself being played? All and all this was a complete rant and for once it may actually be a true tirade. If you have anything you wish to add then go online the USU website and add your own rant to my tirade.

WANKER OF THE WEEK… It is really difficult to be a politician and boy, even harder to speak and not offend people! The reality is that you can only please half of the people some of the time. However, it does not mean that you can single out an entire area, and call them criminals. Melissa Lee stated on the 12th of May at a political forum and debate that “criminals come from South Auckland”. To South Auckland, I am sorry! To Melissa Lee, think before you speak.

DUDE OF THE DAY… The Unicycle store on campus is a not-for-profit organisation that supports a range of causes. On Friday the 29th all takings for the day were sent to the NZ Breast Cancer Foundation to help support the amazing work NZBCF do. I personally have family and friends that are affected by breast cancer as I am sure you do too and this is an issue that needs further attention and acknowledgement. So for the two people responsible for this: Jan Patterson and Andrea Connolly, you are truly dudettes of the day, thankyou. Till next time... Greg Powell USU Student President 2009

EXEC PROFILE: ADAM BRAKEY WHY ARE YOU ON THE EXEC? By luck, it actually just happened: haha Thank you to all those who voted for me WHAT CAN YOU DO FOR STUDENTS? Can have multiple drinks with you at Sixth Sense, Carrington’s or Margaritas . Also show you how to make finger puppets with yoghurt lids and things from the ground. Have a chat about anything and I see what I can do.

WHAT IS YOUR MOST EMBARRASSING MOMENT EVER? Uni games 2009: Having to sub off the soccer field to go have a ”casual yak” on the sideline, waking up later on that day to hear the Waikato girls chatting about pouring water over me. IF YOU WERE A BOOK, WHAT WOULD YOU BE? 100% Special edition of The Jungle Book.

usu

In Unison, Playaz Issue.indd 6

28/05/2009 6:46:21 p.m.

OLIVIA LIN

studies English. It is nice to see someone not wearing all black in winter.

ALYSSA THORP

is doing a Bachelor of Communications. Nice scarf.

letters

is just visiting the campus, we think he has the style of a playa

fashion on campus

MELA VOLONEA

LETTERS TO THE EDITOR Dear ”heaps cool knight dude mate” A.K.A Gregg Powell and the Inunison editors It would be appreciated if the academic level of writing could be lifted, just a touch. I wonder if your magazine’s intended audience are prepubescent. I would like to thank Stacey Knott for her fabulous description of Polar bears. I do, however, believe that the small penguins that attempt to cross the lethal west coast roads are at a far greater (not to mention closer) risk of death or extinction at the hands of New Zealander’s driving. Eskimo’s et al can be left to worry about the plight of Polar bears, since they are in the same hemisphere. Great. It is lucky that your magazine is free. Since aesthetics sells, it is worth mentioning that you could have found some better legs for the cover. Is National Hating on Maori Students? Good question (not that it makes sense). Is Unitec Racist? Get Real. New Zealand Europeans make up over half of our countries population so the maths would have it that Unitec and all other universities and Institutions would have a larger population of N.Z European students. (Thank the Good Lord). Lets all move to China. What is an ”antidiscrimination policy”? Does Joseph Harper realise that ’antidiscrimination’ is not a word? Please don’t tell me that the ’contributors’ to your magazine are going to be future doctors of journalism. Barbie needs a helping hand, she will never be Rosemary McCloud or Felicity Ferret. This is a depressing situation. It is 2330 hours. Do Unitec students know what that means? Greg Powell’s ’tirade’ is full of meaningless slogans. It really is a Tirade. Is it necessary to have a ’wanker of the week’?( I hope they use private bushes.) Greg should nominate himself, for his own sake and that of the residents of the Mason Clinic.They are at a similar threat to that of the polar bears and penguins. All the best for your future Issues. Of course, feel free to email me if you need some guidance, it would be a pleasure to help. Regards Dr. David Jarvis PhD

ELSON SHAO studies languages. We like his tidy style.

SHELDON COFFIN

is doing a Bachelor of Sport. Beanies are big around campus.

The recent furor over pig-farming in New Zealand is only scratching the surface of the reality of intensive factory farming. Worldwide, forty eight billion animals are slaughtered every year; that means every hour five millions are being killed for food alone. Intensive farming (farming indoors) exists to maximise profits for the farmer, and to meet demand for a meat-hungry world, and this has lead to ”intensive” farming where animals are housed for extended periods, and sometimes for the duration of their lives, in tiny cages, pens and stalls, where they cannot even turn around. In the chicken producing industry, conditions for battery hens are so horrendous that their feet sometimes begin to grow around the wire they stand on, and male chicks are put on a conveyor belt and sent through a grinding machine - grinding them up alive. The horror stories continue - and of course, at the end of it all, the animals have the ride to the slaughterhouse, where they are greeted by the smell of death before their own throats are cut. If it is true that we are the most intelligent of all the animals, with the highest level of awareness and emotional sentiency, then what in the name of Heaven or rather what in Hell’s name - are we doing to the other animals?!! In a way I am relieved that this expose has happened - and I hope it doesn’t stop here. It is only the tip of the iceberg. How much longer can we disassociate our food with the manner it has been produced. How much longer can we turn the other way? Sandra Kyle Lecturer usu

In Unison, Playaz Issue.indd 7

28/05/2009 6:46:37 p.m.

news Photos: Erin Gaffney

IN UNISON JAZZES UP A BORING FORUM, GETS ON THE NEWS. A lamington smeared on a candidate’s head and a controversial comment about taking a gun to the media were the high-points of a political forum held at Unitec last week. Unitec and the USU held the forum in The Hub last Monday where candidates for the Mt Albert by-election tried to convince the 30 or so students that showed up, and the various committed party supporters why they should vote for them. National List MP Melissa Lee, ACT List MP John Boscawen, Labour candidate David Shearer, and Green Co-leader Russel Norman spoke at the forum. The candidates were asked what they would be doing if they were not in politics, what they believed the big issues for Mt Albert residents were, and why they were running for the seat. All candidates spoke about the Waterview Connection and the Super City. Ms Lee talked about law and order, Mr Boscawen talked about living standards in New Zealand, while Dr Norman spoke about roading and public transport. In the midst of talking about the

Super City, the ACT candidate’s bald head was smeared in lamington. Frustrated People Before Profit byelection candidate Malcolm France surged forward from the crowd and slammed the cake on the ACT MP’s head. Mr Boscawen kept speaking with the cake on his head until someone came forward from the crowd and picked it off, to throw it back in Mr France’s face. Later when the floor was open to questions from the audience, In Unison brought up a controversial email they had received from Melissa Lee. The email was in response to some light-hearted hip-hop culture related questions for a profile. In response to which accessory she would prefer between a gun, a fur coat, a big diamond ring, or a grill, Ms Lee answered “I think a big diamond ring would be the most useful accessory during the rest of the by-election to knock some sense into the media (although a gun is tempting...)” At the forum In Unison asked Ms Lee why she had said she would like to take a gun to the media, when the media was only reporting on the things she had said. Ms Lee denied writing the email and said she did not know what the question

UNITEC STUDENT BIO O’BRIEN FORMALLY CHARGED WITH MANSLAUGHTER By Stacey Knott

In Unison was in court last Monday where road-rage accused civilengineering student Bio O’Brien was further remanded in custody until July 2. He is now officially charged with the manslaughter of Jashmatbai Patel of Te Atatu on Carrington Road on April 8. The assault, which appeared to be a road rage attack, left

Mr Patel in intensive care, and he died the following day in Auckland Hospital. O’Brien was driving a black BMW and Mr Patel a blue van southwards along Carrington Road on Tuesday April 8 at 7.50am, and the incident happened opposite Gate Four of Unitec. O’Brien is accused of jumping from his car and pulling Mr Patel from his vehicle, which reportedly happened in front of

was about, she later told the magazine the email was unapproved. She said she had answered some of the questions in the email, but not the specific gun related one. Ms Lee, who has already been under fire for controversial statements to the media, blamed an over-enthusiastic volunteer for sending the email. National media took a liking to In Unison’s query, and the event was reported that night on TV3 News, as well as radio stations, Stuff.co.nz and The Herald. Later that day, over-compensating for the “unauthorised” gun comment, one of Ms Lee’s media team sent through a new answer, which stated “I think an appropriately sourced fur coat would be handy for keeping warm with all the doorknocking I am doing. Something I could then donate to one of the groups in the electorate helping support those in need.” In response to another question about grills, Ms Lee answered “All politicians need to know when to keep their mouths closed. So I have put my grill away for the rest of the campaign.’’ Time and headlines will surely tell if this last statement holds true.

Photo: NZPA

Read me...

By Stacey Knott

dozens of schoolchildren waiting at a bus stop outside Gladstone Primary School. O’Brien, a 27-year-old from the Pacific Island nation of Tuvalu, who is married with a 2-year-old child, has had three appearances in the Auckland District Court so far. At all appearances he was remanded in custody and his lawyer David Niven did not seek bail.

usu

In Unison, Playaz Issue.indd 8

28/05/2009 6:46:44 p.m.

news

By Stacey Knott Unitec staff who have been picketing and marching through Unitec over what they say is discriminatory treatment from Unitec management have reached an agreement, but some are still not happy. Allied staff members (staff who do not teach) who are part of the Tertiary Institutes Allied Staff Association (TIASA), were protesting their working conditions offered by Unitec management. They had been protesting outside Unitec chief executive Rick Ede’s office in the mornings and also staged a march through the grounds of Unitec. The issue was over the action Unitec took in contract negotiations. In January, non-union staff at Unitec were given a four percent salary increase, which they can negotiate in November, whereas TIASA members were told Unitec would not go beyond a two percent increase and also wanted to remove some conditions. Two weeks ago Unitec then offered a four percent increase but on a 21 month contract, which the union did not agree to. The final offer, which TIASA agreed to last week, was an 18-month contract with a backdated four percent salary increase, and the opportunity to enter negotiations if over five percent of allied non-union members receive a pay increase on their base salary for the 2010 year. TIASA member and allied staff representative on the Unitec Council, Kieron Millar says the outcome required both sides to compromise. “I think what was offered required movement from both sides and really neither side is completely comfortable with where we ended up. “Members decided it was probably better to take a bird in hand at this stage.” He felt the march through the Unitec grounds and the morning picketing outside Dr Ede’s office was effective.

“We certainly sent a clear message to Rick and his management team that we weren’t prepared to lie down, that we did have a voice and were passionate about equity in the workplace.” A big sentiment through the members during the negotiations was that Unitec was trying to break the Union. “The feeling was that allied staff in TIASA were getting picked on,” he says. “If you look at what happened through the negotiation process it could be perceived as being quite anti-unionist,” Mr Millar says. A TIASA member who wishes to remain anonymous also felt the action was anti-union and the offer agreed to was not good enough. She felt the union was made to reach the compromise because of other factors weighing on them, such as the economic crisis and public perception of unions. “People are of the opinion you should be thankful you’ve got a job,” she says. She says there was a significant number of people who voted against the offer. “It’s not equity. The purpose of the Union is to make sure the members are looked after first and all other individual contracts should follow on from the Union negotiations. “We have compromised where perhaps Unitec have not been so willing to compromise. “We’ve done a favour to Unitec but that is nothing new. It is always on the backs of employees that these institutions survive.” Unitec did not respond to In Unison’s questions, only stating that “Unitec is pleased to have reached an agreement with TIASA. If staff affected have any questions, then they are advised to approach their Human Resource representative or contact Chief Executive, Rick Ede.”

Me too...

Photos: Stacey Knott

HEATED DISCRIMINATION COMPLAINTS SORT OF RESOLVED

UNITEC GETS RECOGNISED, FOOL By Megha Kehar

Unitec beat competition from several polytechnics to be a finalist in two categories at the Institutes of Technology and Polytechnics (ITP) awards on May 20.

Unitec’s Global Entrepreneurship Monitor South programme was nominated for the global role category, and the newly-constructed Te Noho Kotahitanga Marae at the Mt Albert campus for integrated support services. The global role category honours polytechnics preparing New Zealanders to live and work in the wider world, or supporting the development of education in other countries. The innovative support services category recognises innovative nonteaching support services. ITP New Zealand Executive Director Dave Guerin says Unitec was chosen because of its work in taking programmes to the South Pacific. “It is an example of an institute walking the walk by encouraging development in other regions. It is not just teaching here in New Zealand. It is taking these programmes to other regions,” Mr Guerin added. Unitec’s Global Entrepreneurship Monitor South programme – headed by Professor Howard Frederick – monitors entrepreneurial activity in the Pacific. Funded by a research grant from the Australian Overseas Aid Agency, the research will lead to policy recommendations and training programmes to support fragile economies in the region. Speaking about the integrated support services category, he said Unitec was named because it’s Marae is inclusive of students. The marae’s construction philosophy and the fundraising support it generated were also key factors behind the nomination, he added. The winners will be announced on 10 June at ITP New Zealand’s 2009 conference, Skilling New Zealand’s Recovery, in Wellington. ITP New Zealand is the national association for New Zealand’s 20 institutes of technology and polytechnics (ITP).

usu

In Unison, Playaz Issue.indd 9

28/05/2009 6:46:46 p.m.

news

Read me...

Photo: Megha Kehar

PROJECT FOR SUSTAINABLE HOUSING, SEEN AS UN-SUSTAINABLE By Joseph Harper Unitec’s entry into the SHAC09 competition has been suspended due to major sponsors withdrawing their financial support for the project, says a Unitec spokesperson.

HIKOI FOR MAORI REPRESENTATION By Megha Kehar Auckland’s busy Central Business District came to a standstill last Monday as hundreds of people marched up Queen St to protest against the proposed ‘Super City’ council. Super City Hikoi, which started at Britomart at about 9.30am and ended near Aotea Square at 4.30pm, saw many guest speakers – including Maori Party leader Dr Pita Sharples – reiterate the Maori demands of adequate representation on the proposed council. Addressing a cheering crowd, Dr Sharples assured the Maori community they were close to getting their demands heard. Undeterred by the rain, the protestors displayed banners and flags with slogans such as “Tangata Whenua, planted in the land” and “Local Democracy, yeah right!” and some performed the haka. Protester Kura Foreman, from Ngati Whatua said the hikoi was about trying to tell everyone how unfair the move was. “We don’t want the Super City because it does not include Maori seats,” she said. She said there was a feeling of resentment among the Maori community

for being left out of the decision-making process. Hone Henare, a hikoi protestor, said as kaitiaki (stewards or guardians) it is only fair they should have some say in the direction of Auckland. “It’s no use opposing it. They [Government] are going to do it anyway. But surely it makes sense and it is only fair to demand representation on the council,” Mr Henare said. However Prime Minister John Key maintained his opposing stance. Speaking on TV One’s Breakfast Show he said people have a right to protest but “he can’t help but wonder if they are a little bit ahead of themselves”. He said it is highly unlikely that the hikoi would make any difference. ”I don’t think the hikoi itself will make any difference, really. We are going to go through the Select Committee process. That’s not a white wash. We are actually going to listen to what happens there,” he said on the show. The hikoi also had entertainment for the crowd. South Auckland’s recordbreaking hip-hop act Smashproof kept the protestors’ spirits high with their energetic performance of their hit single ‘Brother’.

The nationwide competition is billed by its official website as a chance for tertiary students and staff to design, develop, and ultimately build new forms of sustainable housing. Unitec’s entry was to be a combined effort from many schools including design, communications and landscape architecture. A member of staff, who wishes to remain anonymous, commented that internal factors also contributed to the shutting down of the project. “I think basically the powers that be put a stop to it.” The staff member, who was involved in the project from the start, felt it was extremely regrettable that the project has been brought to a halt. “It was gonna be something really good…It would have been a good bit of advertising for Unitec…and good for getting all the different schools together; which is different to how things normally happen here.” The staff member says the project’s demise will also affect students involved. However Roger Bateman, senior Design lecturer and one of those involved in the SHAC09 says that although some student’s assessments may have been woven in with the SHAC09 project, the recent cancelation will have no affect on students academically or impact their schooling in any negative way. There is still hope for the project, as Unitec’s spokesperson says it has not been completely disregarded but rather, put on the back burner for now. “It is anticipated that the project will be started again next year when the financial climate may have changed and sponsors feel more comfortable about their own sustainable future…it makes sense that a project with such great potential be continued.” DO YOU HAVE A NEWS STORY? We want to hear about it. Email In Unison on inunison@unitec.ac.nz, or call 815 4321 ext. 7927 see www.usu.co.nz for more news.

usu

In Unison, Playaz Issue.indd 10

28/05/2009 6:46:47 p.m.

news

By Joseph Harper At 6:15pm the meeting officially started. All members of the exec were present, as well as Chris Hall, and Tharindu Kumara; both of whom are candidates for the available position of treasurer on the exec. There are two other candidates, but neither was at this meeting. As stated in the USU constitution; candidates must attend at least one executive meeting in order to be eligible to be elected, so one of the potential treasurers will probably be removed as a candidate. The meeting moved to further discussion of an item brought up at the last meeting; that the exec buys art from graduating Unitec students as a way of both supporting the arts at Unitec, and

beautifying the new USU boardroom. The executive were unanimously in favour of the idea, and a tour of Building One has been planned so that members of the exec can have a look at some of the artwork which is being created by Unitec arts students. Next came some business of commercial sensitivity which was confidential and therefore cannot be reported on, and then the executive discussed the upcoming political forum to be held at Unitec. The exec considered putting money towards the creation of posters in order to publicise the event. The meeting closed at 6:57pm.

Me too...

EXECUTION, 14 MAY:

PAY DAY FOR EXEC; IS IT DESERVED WHEN STUDENTS DON’T KNOW WHO THEY ARE? By Joseph Harper Members of the USU executive will be counting their pennies this week, as they have been paid the first of their honoraria payments for the year. As governing body of the USU, the executive are the ultimate voice of Unitec’s student body. Yet when students were asked whether or not they feel well represented and whether they think the pay is deserved, most spoken to by In Unison scratched their heads and asked who, or what, the exec is. The USU constitution says members of the USU executive are eligible to earn a total of $1750 (gross) which is paid in quarterly chunks and is divided up into $50 per meeting attended throughout the year (with a maximum of 26 meetings).This includes fortnightly executive meetings, special general meetings, and any other meetings they may have attended such as programme and faculty committees. The other $450 is given in accordance with committee work and performance. Based on reports submitted by each member of the executive, activities which have earned them their pay packet so far this year include “attended the various socializing opportunities where I can mingle with fellow students”, “helping out with the USU BBQs”, “physically preparing members of USU’s Men’s basketball team”, having “travelled to and from the

scheduled meetings held at Unitec”. The responsibilities of general executives are primarily related to the governing of the USU. Therefore if the USU is doing a good job as representatives of the students of Unitec, the executive are most likely doing a good job in monitoring the USU. However, when students were asked if they feel the executive members have earned their pay cheques, most didn’t feel well represented by the USU and didn’t even know who the members of the exec were, or were aware of its existence. Most did not know who the USU Student President was. Second year painting student, Lance Pierce says he is “vaguely familiar with the president,” but has no knowledge of the rest of the executive. He also feels the USU was perhaps neglecting the Building One end of the Mount Albert campus, noting “a lot of things lacking” in terms of facilities. A student in support of the executive says she feels the exec do a good job and agrees with the payment they receive. However the majority of students asked if they feel the executive have done their job and deserve the pay they received echoed the thoughts of second year dance students, Molly McDowell and Billie Buckthought, who gave a resounding, “No.”

USU Student President and head of the executive, Greg Powell, stood by his execs and their performance. He says it is about measuring the overall performance of the USU. Initiatives like orientation, online media and independent research into education quality originate from the leadership of the past and current executive, he says. Mr Powell adds the exec honoraria is a small financial recognition of that work, and that meetings can last up to four hours and the exec are expected to read papers which he says takes at least an hour. “Also consider the level of responsibility and personal risk...We bear the responsibilities of facing public ridicule and potentially being held liable for the decisions we make even to the level of in a court of law if the organisation financially falls over.” Mr Powell also points out that at the end of the day, it’s the student body that are able to make changes to executive payments; “The amount and conditions are set originally by students at a general meeting. If students wanted to they could increase or completely remove honoraria. Therefore initially, it is students that determine the amount, the conditions and ultimately by popular vote whether we retain our jobs.”

usu

In Unison, Playaz Issue.indd 11

28/05/2009 6:46:49 p.m.

feature In keeping with the playaz theme of this In Unison, Stacey Knott asks some of the Mt Albert by-election candidates some questions no one else is asking, mainly because she is bored with the scripted responses in the news and at forums. She finds out who they dig in the hip-hop world, and what they think of sleeping around. Dakta Green is standing for the Aotearoa Legalise Cannabis Party, who want weed legalised and a better balance between the power of the state and the rights of the individual. He is standing because he has spent some time in jail for the cultivation of cannabis. What are the big issues for Mount Albert? The biggest local issue is the tunnel verse motorway - my policy is to build the full tunnel at no cost to the tax payer. What can you do for the students of Unitec? I can be successful in stopping the arrests of all the students involved in cannabis culture. Everyone knows at least someone who consumes cannabis, if not themselves, they are all subject to arrest and incarceration because of that involvement, everyone at Unitec knows that is an evil that is perpetrated on our community and it’s not necessary. Who is your favourite rap artist? Snoop Dogg. There are a lot of rap artists I do like; I learnt to love rap and hip-hop when I was serving time in America, I had a cell with an AfricanAmerican who used to do a lot of rapping in our cell. Snoop Dogg, top dog! What do you think of guns, grills, drugs and having more than one partner at a time? Guns don’t have any part in any reasonable society, but as far as drugs, sex and rock and roll go, go hard people! Just because I’m an old man doesn’t mean I don’t know how things work! I say yeah! Right on baby! Which accessory would you choose: a gun, a fur coat, a big diamond ring, or a grill? Fur coat, I’d love a fur coat. If you weren’t hustling for votes, what would you be hustling for? Legalising cannabis; it’s my total lifetime commitment, I will not retire until cannabis is legally available to all adults.

Simonne Dyer is standing for The Kiwi Party, who run on conservative platforms, such as criminalising street prostitution and pimps, raising the drinking age, and higher drug sentences, they also believe in a universal student allowance for full time students. What do you think are the big issues for Mt Albert? The whole motorway/tunnel saga and support for those who will lose their property, public transport and Super City issues are huge. Added is the breaking down of community cohesiveness with the planned increase to the St Lukes Shopping Mall and removal of Kiwi bank and PostShop facilities from Sandringham. What can you do for the students of Unitec? Offer a listening ear and a promise for action if elected. Students, what are your concerns? Let me know. What do you think of guns, grills, drugs and having more than one partner at a time? Guns – good and bad depending on circumstances; grills – BBQs? Love them, if not, have no idea; drugs – aspirin great for headache, P the scourge of NZ; more than one partner at a time – maybe fun now but painful long term. Which accessory would you choose: a gun, a fur coat, a big diamond ring, or a grill? Everyone knows DIAMONDS are a girl’s best friend. Who is your favourite rap artist? Oops, haven’t one but I think Stomp is fantastic. If you weren’t hustling for votes, what would you be hustling for? For money to build a community centre in a village in Timor Leste where I have been involved since 2001 improving water and sanitation, building schools and providing sponsorship for impoverished kids.

Libertarianz spokesman Julian Pistorius is another candidate. The Libertarianz believe in a free society with a free market economy, the want to minimalise the power and influence of government. He is a 32 year old computer programmer. What do you think the big issues are for Mt Albert? 1. Big government ruining the economy, and hence your future welfare. 2. Unaccountable, bureaucratic local government; which is only going to get worse under the Super Shitty - Er... I mean Super City. What can you do for the students of Unitec? 1. Legalise ALL drugs, so you can get high quality stuff at reasonable prices (bye-bye P), and exercise the right to modify your consciousness in peace. 2. Tax is theft; so I’ll fight to cut taxes to the bone, so you can keep more of your hard-earned money. What do you think of guns, grills, drugs and having more than one partner at a time? Guns:Yes! (Every responsible citizen’s right.) Grills: Truly bizarre fashion statement. Drugs: Not my cup of tea, but I’ll fight for your right to fry your brain - If that’s what you’re in to! Multiple partners:You go for it. Which accessory would you choose: a gun, a fur coat, a big diamond ring, or a grill? A gun, but seeing as Global Warming isn’t happening anytime soon, I might go for the coat. Who is your favourite rap artist? Pfft. Can’t stand rap. Give me something with a melody, thanks. If you weren’t hustling for votes, what would you be hustling for? Money, of course! I create stuff to improve the lives of people, and I love it when I get paid for it.

usu

In Unison, Playaz Issue.indd 12

28/05/2009 6:46:55 p.m.

feature

John Boscawen is the ACT candidate he is also a list MP. ACT believes in cash and the free market. They want government to be smaller, and taxes to be lower, they believe in user pays and privatisation. What are the big issues for Mount Albert? The Mount Roskill to Waterview Connection, it will have a big impact on residents of Waterview, it’s very important that those residents should be very well compensated over and above the cost of their homes and the cost of having to find alternative homes…also the falling living standards - we are getting poor relative to other countries. What can you do for the students of Unitec? Raise the living standards and the incomes of all New Zealanders so people actually want to stay in New Zealand. Have an education system that is high quality…make this a prosperous country so they are well educated and have a high standard of living and don’t have to go offshore. Who is your favourite rap artist? Haven’t got one but I am hoping to go to the Simon and Garfunkel concert. What do you think of guns, grills, drugs and having more than one partner at a time? I have no view on rap artists with things on their teeth. I think it’s tragic when people take mind-altering substances so am anti-drugs. And no, I don’t have more than one partner at a time. Which accessory would you choose: a gun, a fur coat, a big diamond ring, or a grill? I would go with the fur coat, can it be acrylic fur? Wouldn’t have a gun or a grill on my teeth, personally wouldn’t wear a big diamond ring. Do men wear diamonds rings? I’m not a player. If you weren’t hustling for votes, what would you be hustling for? The rights of people.

David Shearer is the Labour candidate, he has just moved back to New Zealand from working for the UN where he dealt with conflict situations. The Labour party is centre-left and socially liberal. They had been in power up until last year. What do you think the big issues are for Mt Albert The number one big issue for Mt Albert is listening to the community when big decisions are being made, for example the tunnel and the Super City. What can you do for the students of Unitec? A few years ago I transported exam papers across the front lines during the Sri Lankan war. I saw in the welcome I received just how important that mission was. Because those papers represented the future hopes of young people for a better life - their opportunity. Education opens opportunities and I’ll be fighting for the universal student allowance. What do you think of guns, grills, drugs and having more than one partner at a time? Guns - I’ve had enough guns pointed at me for one lifetime. Grills - one smile’s as good as another. Having more than one partner at a time. Fine in a law firm but not on Dancing with Stars. Which accessory would you choose: a gun, a fur coat, a big diamond ring, or a grill? A fur coat in this weather. Who is your favourite rap artist? Rap’s not my thing - I prefer rock. If you weren’t hustling for votes, what would you be hustling for? I’d be hustling rich countries to rebuild schools in Iraq.

usu

In Unison, Playaz Issue.indd 13

28/05/2009 6:47:01 p.m.

feature Russel Norman is the Co-leader of the Green Party. They are the most left-leaning party in parliament who believe in strong environmental and social policies, such as better public transport and better democracy. What do you think the big issues are for Mt Albert? This intrusive 1950s style motorway that is set to rip communities apart. More buses and trains, improved rail links, more bus lanes and more frequent service. Making it safe for our kids to bike and walk to school. What can you do for students? The Greens have had the best policy for students for ages with the universal student allowance, capping and reduction of fees over time, we think that there is no other group who has to borrow in order to live and that’s not fair. What do you think of guns, grills, drugs and having more than one partner at a time? Guns are useful for eradicating pest animals and target shooting. I understand why handguns in particular are a potent image for the United States hip hop community but I am glad that Kiwi hip hop artists strive for a more conscious style. The whole playa image of guns, grills, drugs and promiscuity is a cartoonish parody of legitimate hip-hop. Which accessory would you choose: a gun, a fur coat, a big diamond ring, or a grill? Personally, I’m comfortable with my own masculinity and sexuality so I’m really not into guns. Flaunting wealth and privilege is not very Green so I’ll pass on the diamond ring thanks. I’m all for fake fur, or possum fur. So I’d love to do the Huggy Bear (you young students probably won’t remember the original Starsky and Hutch, but Snoop Dogg reprised the character in the recent remake movie) fashion thang. Who is your favourite rap artist? At the moment it’s Smashproof…I love their honesty and social commentary. If you weren’t hustling for votes, what would you be hustling for? Sex? Nah, just joking… I’d be trying to wake people up to the environmental crisis that faces our human species. We can’t just stuff this planet up and move on to another. Not yet anyway.

Melissa Lee is a National List MP. National is New Zealand’s centre-right Government. They stand for limited government, equal opportunity and competitive enterprise, amongst other things. Ms Lee is an ex-journalist and was born in Korea. What do you think the big issues are for Mt Albert? There are a range: completing the SH20 ring road with the Waterview Connection -and making sure the people impacted by this decision get all the support they need. Ensuring Mt Albert people make a contribution to the new Super City structures so we get our communities views well represented. Making sure Westfields do a better job of convincing residents of their expansion plans and challenging McDonalds as to whether we really need a restaurant in Balmoral. What can you do for the students of Unitec? Work hard as their local MP to make sure their views are represented on issues important to them. Stay in touch via regular contact with the Students’ Association and other representative groups and be available to speak with students regularly. At a national level, I will support policies that give them the best chance of getting their education. What do you think of guns, grills, drugs and having more than one partner at a time? Guns: I admire several big ones (Sir Edmund Hillary; Ban Ki-moon; Margaret Thatcher; Aung San Suu Kyi and of course John Key) Grills: All politicians need to know when to keep their mouths closed. So I have put my grill away for the rest of the campaign! Drugs: I tend to go for the more legal, medical ones now... Partner: More of a one at a time type of gal. Which accessory would you choose: a gun, a fur coat, a big diamond ring, or a grill? I think a big diamond ring would be the most useful accessory during the rest of the by-election to knock some sense into the media (although a gun is tempting...). Who is your favourite rap artist? It’s a tie between Che Fu and Scribe. If you weren’t hustling for votes, what would you be hustling for? My son’s soccer team. They won 7 nil in Kingsland last week! Go the Leaders!!

usu

In Unison, Playaz Issue.indd 14

28/05/2009 6:47:07 p.m.

USU Get rid of your old textbooks, or pick up the ones you need for semester this year two

’A SS

ITE

usu OCIATION

STU N

By using USU’s online Buy/Sell system for nUnitec Students. www.usu.co.nz/buy-sell

Capture New Zealand

Calling All

Categories

Budding Photographers Enter your inspiring New Zealand photos to AA’s Capture New Zealand photography competition. It’s a chance to have your work published and to WIN one of ﬁve S1500 cameras worth $599 from Fujiﬁlm. There’s even an overall prize of $2000 to be won.

Enter

New Zealand’s Natural Wonders A Quintessential Kiwi Holiday

Kiwis and Their Cars

New Zealand Landmarks New Zealand People and Culture

FIND OUT MORE…

GET ONLINE @ www.aatravel.co.nz/capture * Only open to tertiary students New Zealand-wide. Terms and conditions apply.

In Unison, Playaz Issue.indd 15

28/05/2009 6:47:08 p.m.

photos

USU OUTDOORS CLUB PIHA TREK

USU MONSTER COMEDY BASH

USU OPEN GAMING DAY

usu

In Unison, Playaz Issue.indd 16

PHOTOS BY: Matt & Erin MORE PHOTOS AND VIDEOS OF THESE EVENTS AT WWW.USU.CO.NZ/WHATSON 28/05/2009 6:47:23 p.m.

gig guide

e th m pm in fro re 5 be t ke fo to ra. tic be e e a n un m e tio th J l ca s p ha e 4 ita rc ec ay ig Pu U R esd a d US dn in e w W to

FEATURED EVENT / 5TH JUNE USU PRESENTS

T H E A N N UA L W H I T E PA RT Y 7 P M , C A R R I N G TO N S , U N I T E C M T A L B E RT C A M P U S SPOT PRIZES FROM GLOBE AND IPOD ON THE NIGHT VISIT WWW.USU.CO.NZ FOR MORE DETAILS

JUNE 04

02 TUE

THROUGH JUNE Ex -Unitec actor Sophie Henderson stars in The Scene from 28 May at the Herald Theatre.

Fly My Pretties Tour 2009 SkyCity Theatre A night of folk, indie and rock from kiwi music staples such as Barnaby Weir

0SAT6 Thought Creature,The Hairdos, Golden Axe, The DHDFDs the Kings Arms

19 FRI Minuit live Minuit will be electrifying the Toto Montecristo Room

THUR

USU Pool Club presents: 8 Ball Doubles knock out competition the Uni Lounge in The Hub at lunch time. Prove you have what it takes to be the best at Unitec. It’s free to play and all Unitec students are welcome! Prizes for the best players. Register at USU reception by 11am Thursday 4th June. USU Free Film Night: Bedtime Stories 6pm at the Gold Lecture Theatre, The Hub The latest Adam Sandler comedy about a hotel handyman whose life changes when the lavish bedtime stories he tells his niece and nephew start to magically come true. As always, entry is free and everyone is welcome!

05 FRI USU Annual White Party 7pm at Carrington’s Come and celebrate winter at the annual white party. Deck yourself out in white to celebrate the season. Presale Tickets for USU Members (Unitec Students) only $5 from USU Reception Door Sales will be $10 (if it doesn’t sell out prior to the event) R18 – No ID, No entry Celebrate the Wine Cellar’s 5th birthday with Bond Street Bridge, ¡recuerde!, The Broken Heartbreakers, on K Road

2SAT0 Ghostface Killah Hip hop legend Ghostface Killah will be playing at the The Powerstation

DO YOU HAVE AN EVENT COMING UP? Send details and images to inunison@unitec.ac.nz UP-COMING EVENTS •

Re Orientation 09 featuring Concord Dawn, check out www.usu.co.nz/whatson for details.

In Unison, Playaz Issue.indd 17

28/05/2009 6:47:24 p.m.

creative feature (may be bullshit)

INTERVIEW

WITH A

LADY’S MAN Playa: A guy who is sustaining supposedly exclusive relationships with multiple girls simultaneously, “that guy is a player.” With this handy Urban Dictionary definition in mind, Joseph Harper scoured the campus for Unitec’s most notorious player, and then got to read his sexsploits diary.

I first heard of a student named Mark around this time last year. It was the morning after the annual White Party, which I had attended with several friends. Most of those friends were to be found scattered about my flat, besieged by hangovers; but we lost one of my crew, a female friend named Susan, somewhere at the party and she was nowhere to be found. It wasn’t until four in the afternoon that Susan was able to be accounted for. She had gone home and spent the night with a third year architecture student named Mark. At the mention of the name; another of my friends piped up. “Mark?” she said, “You got bedded by Mark?” Apparently this young man had quite the reputation on campus, something of a legend who

supposedly engaged in dealings of a sexual nature with more females, than any other student in the history of Unitec. I could think of no one who personified the term “playa”, better than this Mark character, so I set about tracking him down. I found him and he agreed to be interviewed on the condition that I use only his first name, and allowed me to print excerpts from a journal he has kept in his time at Unitec (a journal he affectionately calls his “little black book”). The following is based on a real interview with a real Unitec student, and features genuine extracts from his diary. Content may offend.

usu

In Unison, Playaz Issue.indd 18

28/05/2009 6:47:26 p.m.

June 3rd 2007: Her name was Jenny. She was a design student, first year. She was attractive. I am continually amazed at the way the feminine form is able to inspire such elation in me. Her hair was long and blonde and it rolled over her neck and shoulders like sand melting in the face of heavy waves. Every strand; crashing and dissolving into the next. She was beautiful. We did it doggy style. Mark. He offers me a drink. I assume he means tea or perhaps coffee, but he throws a cold beer across the room. I feel obliged to drink it. I ask him if he has any techniques. “I dunno. Nah not really.” I don’t believe him and persevere. Surely there’s a secret to his success? “I guess I’m just good at talking to chicks. Not real smooth or anything. And I don’t have heaps of money to buy my way into them. I’m just a good talker I guess.” The beer is making my hand cold. It triggers the thought in me that perhaps alcohol is one of his secret weapons. “No way!” He seems offended. “That’s shit, man. If she’s wasted, I don’t count it. It’s not real is it? I mean, there’s no skill there is there? I hate that date rape shit, man. I don’t drug chicks and I don’t get them drunk either. I’m just a good talker. I told you.”

November 1st 2007: I was dressed as an M&M. She thought I was funny. Her name was Kate and the first thing she asked me was whether or not there were nuts under the candy shell. We hung out all night. She was dressed up as some character from a book I haven’t read. I think she was smart. Studying some kind of science. She told me I was cute. Liked that I didn’t use big words. She did most of the talking anyway. She had this amazing voice. It had this presence to it. Sounded like something soft to me. Like a baby duck. She came back to mine after the party. Pretty average in bed. Nothing special. Good blow job though. Mark. His morals come as a surprise. You expect the kind of guy who sleeps around a lot to be a sleazy, unclean, type. I ask him whether he’s ever gotten into trouble. Whether he’s gotten many STIs or had other accidents. “Accidents? Like getting chicks knocked up? Nah, man. I always carry rubbers. Always.” He pulls out his wallet and opens it up to show me something. In a translucent pocket, underneath pictures of himself as a boy, and a woman who, based on her eyes, is his mother, are two Marquis supa-lite prophylactics. “Gotta be safe, man.” I ask whether he has any preference when it comes to his sheaths. “Ridged,” he says. “Or those flavoured ones if I’m trying for oral. In my experience, strawberry is a popular choice.”

creative feature (may be bullshit)

You’d expect a young man who claims to have had sexual intercourse with over 50 other students throughout the course of his 4 year degree, to be good looking. A kind of clean cut, muscular, young Brad Pitt type. Mark is not the man I imagined. He is weedy, with straw coloured hair and teeth which haven’t grown enough and have little gaps between each other because of it. He reminds me of a snake; but for his eyes. They are a brilliant blue, Jesus’s eyes set in the asp of Eden. “It’s all true,” he tells me. “I got them all written down. I can tell you the name and the date and whatever details you want for every single chick I’ve done since I’ve been at Unitec.”

February 27th 2008: I was in the building 1 library. A girl named Chris was using the computer next to me. She went to print something out, looked like a picture of some kind of monkey, but she didn’t have any money left on her card. I offered to pay. She accepted and we started talking. She told me she liked my eyes. I told her I liked hers too. I didn’t really. They were obscured by her glasses. I should have said I liked her glasses; I did like those. She told me about the work she was doing – something to do with animals – but I didn’t really listen. I was absorbed in her clothing. She had a wonderful sense of style. We talked for hours, until we were the only ones left in the library. She sat on me in between the rows of old journals. Mark. He is very frank about almost everything to the point where I am taken aback. I decide to cut to the chase and ask him what he thinks of Unitec girls. “They’re pretty cool. There’s probably some that aren’t very cool. But most of the ones I’ve met have been great. Lotsa real good lookers too. That’s nice. Having a bunch of babes to stare at makes lectures way sweeter. Even better if you get to sit next to one. I reckon more than half the chicks I’ve done while I’ve been here have been ones that I’ve just gone and sat next to in a class and been nice and not been a dick and struck up a conversation with.”

October 15th 2008: Jane is quite simply the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen. She has been in many of the same lectures as me over the past two years, and every time she enters a lecture theatre, I feel my heart surge into life and blood pulse around my body like liquid bullets. She makes me light up. Yesterday I sat next to her. We were being told about Frank Lloyd Wright and his influence on contemporary New Zealand architecture, but I don’t remember anything that was said. I was too transfixed on how close I was to her. She had an aroma. It was glorious and fruity. After class I offered to buy her a coffee. We sipped flat whites in the Long Black and discussed the kind of building we dream of designing. She’s keen on libraries. I invited her out to dinner. I don’t remember what we ate. She came back to my house and we kissed and made love. She let me put it in her bum.Mark. He is so matter of fact that it’s hard to gauge how he feels about all his sexual exploits. I couldn’t sense any guilt. His masses of erotic encounters come across like non-events. It means nothing to him. As if sleeping with so many young women is the norm. Does he feel bad? Does he feel like he’s hurting anyone? He pauses for a moment; “I don’t think so. Nobody’s being used or anything. It’s just young people having fun. And at the end of the day, both parties have gotten a little joy. Put it this way; every chick I’ve slept with has been a different experience. But they’ve all been special in one way or another. Every single one of them has been memorable. Even the one’s who were crap in bed. I remember every girl’s name and what every girl looked like and what I liked about every girl I’ve done it with. Nobody’s getting hurt here.” I left the interview on the verge of agreement with Mark. Perhaps he’s right. Perhaps being a playa is just all the best bits of hedonism; between comfy sheets. usu

In Unison, Playaz Issue.indd 19

28/05/2009 6:47:27 p.m.

feature

Online d8ing Finding love can be tough. When you get sick of clubbing, flirting with classmates or have had one too many bad experiences with blind dates, where can you go? The Internet, as Mega Kehar discovers.

I can still remember the exact moment when it first dawned upon me that in merely a few years’ time I too would be at the risk of officially being classified a cougar. It was a grey Thursday evening, as I was walking down Queen Street, when I walked right into the back of the man of my dreams. He was handsome and wearing a Killers’ t-shirt. The chance crash sent my imagination into overdrive as I started weaving vivid pictures of us falling in love, making all our friends jealous, getting married and watching Shortland Street together at the age of 60, when his boyfriend/partner took him by the hand and swiftly led him away to a safe distance from me. It seems the competition is tough and there just isn’t enough time to plot a strategy. In this day and age, where does a girl find a decent guy? And where do the guys find a decent girl? And where do people with other sexual orientations find decent people of compatible sexual orientations? As dodgy as it may sound, my search for answers to those questions spurred me towards the mysterious world of online

dating. I have friends who have been online dating for the past few years. Then there are those stories about friends of friends who apparently met their soul mates online and have been making babies ever since. I set up a profile – strictly for research purposes only – on one of New Zealand’s leading dating websites. After some 45 minutes of filling out tedious details about myself and what I look for in a “match”, I finally landed on a page full of photos of strapping young men looking for companionship – most of them freshly shaved, their cheeks like babies’ bottoms, peering at me through the computer screen with their perfect, radiant smiles. Contrary to what I had expected, online dating websites do not belong to the netherworld of people with zero social skills. A quick browse through registered female users revealed that apart from an odd hag every now and again, most women did not seem like they belonged to the lowest rung of the mating ladder. But then again, it’s hard to tell when everyone’s

In Unison, Playaz Issue.indd 20

28/05/2009 6:47:30 p.m.

In Unison, Playaz Issue.indd 21

feature

got their best photos up as their profile pics. more convenient”. Within a few hours of setting up my profile, I received an “It is amazing how easy it is to find people. Say you want email notification from the dating website. “Someone has taken to find some one who enjoys Star Trek and going to museums. a liking to your profile.” About half an hour later, I got another Online makes it so easy,” Salmon says. email from the dating website alerting me I have a message from Even though online dating has its merits, it has its demerits as another user. As I write this article, I have about five emails well. Reports of sexual attacks, identity theft and harassment have sitting in my mailbox, but sadly none of them seems to be from led police to warn women to be careful with Internet dating. Mr Right. Brown says for some people the line between virtual and I am not sure if it is just me, but grammar and spelling real life is so blurred it is almost non-existent. People try to does make a world of difference. I read somewhere that bad project themselves as who they want to be, which is not always spelling is the online equivalent of bad breath. What is even a true image, she says. more interesting is how people use chat acronyms (OMG, “Everyone is 10 pounds slimmer and a few inches taller LOL, ROFL, IDK, etc) and compress words (u, ur, shud, luv, online. Don’t believe everything your online date tells you,” l8r) – I am guessing to save on keystrokes – BUT never ever she says. hold back when it comes to dots …….. and other punctuation Another factor to consider is people generally tend to be marks!!!!!!111! a lot less inhibited online than in real life. This is necessarily with Online dating experts say like real the purpose of deceiving though. life, it takes a certain skill to pin the it is because you are safe ...consider updating your profile. behind“I guess attention of whoever you’re trying to your computer screen. You Also, it might help to remove woo. If you’ve blitzkrieged messages to know you are not being judged. You can lots of people without receiving a reply, be whoever you want to be and the pictures of genitalia from your consider updating your profile. Also, Internet gives you that medium. It is online album.” it might help to remove pictures of kinda complicated,” she says. genitalia from your online album. In February this year a 36-yearOnce considered a stigma, something only meant for social old German tourist found herself trapped in the house of her rejects, Internet dating has come a long way to actually being New Zealand Internet date for a week. She had flown all the considered cool. According to a survey, every fifth single British way from Leipzig to Dunedin to meet an unemployed, unkempt adult uses Internet dating services. On Match.com, a popular 54-year-old man and not the 33-year-old PhD student she had dating website, about 50 percent of its British users are in developed an online relationship with through MySpace. their 20s. The trend is seen in the US as well where the taboo Apart from facing disappointment a few times, Brown has attached to online dating disappeared a while ago. not ever had an unpleasant experience, she says always makes Lucy Brown, a 28-year-old Aucklander and an Internet sure she meets her Internet date somewhere safe. dating regular, says she sees nothing wrong with jumping on the “It is always a good idea to get to know your date before you Internet to find someone. set out to meet them for real. I would rather take my time and be “It may not be the most romantic thing ever but what’s safe than find myself at the mercy of a psychopath,” she says. the harm in it? I mean it is so easy to find someone you are “I normally have lots and lots of online chats with people compatible with. You don’t have to bother with going through before I set up a date with them. It always helps to take a friend the whole process of someone’s likes and dislikes only to find along too,” Brown says. out you’ve actually got nothing in common,” she says. While online dating websites are a great way to meet a She says over the past two years, Internet dating has been potential boyfriend or girlfriend, social networking websites, a mixed bag of experience for her. forums, Second Life and online gaming are also other ways of “I have met some creeps, some guys who I wish were ending your loneliness. half as interesting as they sounded online, and some who obviously thought they were Batman when in reality they Some messages I received while looking were the Joker really. “But then I also met some guys I was genuinely interested for Mr Right in,” she says. “I even ended up having little, sweet flings with MSG: we are craig and leesha we are looking for freinds leeshas 26yo some of them.” 50kgs do you have a pic please Like Brown, roughly over half a million people around -the world resort to the Internet every month to find love. Of course not everyone is seeking romantic encounters. MSG: Hey there, how’s it going, how has your weekend been? I am Gavin Salmon, a 26-year-old IT professional in Auckland, married but I’m not looking to change that, Umm...I’m looking to met his fiancé through a dating website. But he says he had widen my circle of friends, and if we hit it off then more as well... I’ve initially signed up out of curiosity and ended up making some added you as a contact so you can reply as a new member. I’m pretty really interesting friends from around the world. easygoing and get on well with most people. I can be a cheeky sod at “I just wanted to see what it was all about. I was really times. Am not overly tall at about 5’6, but good things do come in small cautious at first. I wanted to make some friends. Who knew I packages, light brown hair, blue eyes. I like sport, used to play a little would end up meeting my future wife in the process,” he says. tennis and squash but have been playing touch lately.. Would love to One of the major reasons why people choose online dating chat to you and see how we get along... Cheers Mal is lack of time. “If you are a busy person, you really don’t want -to spend your time meeting people and really struggling to get a decent conversation going,” he says. He likens online dating MSG: hi there would you be interested in a older man??? to speed dating but says it is only “100 times better and --

28/05/2009 6:47:30 p.m.

TELL US WHAT YOU THINK ABOUT SERVICES AT UNITEC IN THE

2009 STUDENT SATISFACTION SURVEY

+ x2

IT’S YOUR CHANCE TO HAVE YOUR SAY ABOUT SERVICES AND FACILITIES AT UNITEC.

’A SS

OCIATION

ITE

usu

STU

COMPLETE THE SURVEY BY FRIDAY 12 JUNE AND BE IN TO WIN!

In Unison, Playaz Issue.indd 22

GO TO WWW.USU.CO.NZ

TO FIND THE SURVEY LINK AND TELL US YOUR THOUGHTS 28/05/2009 6:47:30 p.m.

column

Robo news

Whakarongo Mai WITH JOSEPH HARPER

NEWS ROUND UP WITH THE NEWS-BOT

I don’t hate the game. I don’t hate it’s players. I hate the way they spell themselves. “PLAYAZ” is quite simply, not a word. I look upon the cover of this magazine with a level of utter scorn, bordering on complete loathing (though it could never be complete because I know that beneath the covers and this wordsmith’s nightmare, lies this wordsmith’s somewhat sexy handy work (self deprecation = so passée)). Call me old fashioned or call me a dickhead (not a dick head); but I have no time for poor spelling. I know you were all hoping for a salacious column in which I divulge my several sexual exploits; but I will not. Sex may be nice; but pristine spelling is more my cup of tea. Give me a can of Pepsi Max and spell the word cornucopia, and I’ll need a cigarette. If you twist my arm, you can possibly force me to see some logic in the substitution of ER for an A.That’s a time saver I suppose, a useless one, though a time saver none the less. But why swap that scintillating and slippery S for an overzealous Z? It’s neither necessary, nor fun. It’s the Z that kills me. Did you know that New Zealanders supposedly have a special affinity with the letter Z. Because of its place in our name; overseas kiwis subconsciously scan foreign newspapers for Zs in the quiet hopes of news from home. I however, live in Waterview, and I don’t care for Zeds or Zees, especially at the end of words. Iceland abolished the letter from their alphabet in 1974. I’m with the Scandinavians. If it means the end of “playaz” and “killa beez” (hilarious irony on the second one); then I will happily do without “zebra” and “zeitgeist.” I blame text messaging for the slow decay of spelling. That’s right, old people have been alone in their complaining for too long. They now have an opinionated twenty-year-old among their bitching ranks. Why send someone a message, if you don’t want them to know what you’re saying? My parents are shocking. Here’s an example of a genuine text message I received from my mother (the first one to decipher it correctly wins a prize): MRNNG JO. SRY THRS 0 PRZ.WNTD 2 TRK U. NJY DA EGS I SNT U. What is that? That’s not English. People feel comfortable abbreviating even when it’s completely inappropriate. Firstly; text messaging is not a good medium for conveying important news. Secondly; if you absolutely must text message, DO NOT ABBREVIATE. Text language is never formal! I received a text message from my father awhile ago, he said, “GD PSD ON LST NITE. MUMS V SAD.” He meant, “Grandad passed on last night. Mum’s very sad.” I read, “Got pissed on last night. Mum’s very sad.” So obviously I replied, “Tell her to cheer up. Surely it’s nothing a bit of Cold Power can’t fix.” It made my Mother “V V SAD.” Use English properly. Please?

Hi ya homies, how’s it going then? I love National MP Melissa Lee. If there is someone who is capable of shooting herself in the foot, recovering and shooting herself again, it’s Melissa. I think it takes some talent, lots of BS-ability and a general knack for regional stereotyping. A week after she said the Waterview motorway would divert criminals from South Auckland, students at Mt Albert by-election debate at the University of Auckland, took it upon themselves to divert her from delivering her speech. Ah those idle, sponging students, “who do not watch television”. In another example of political ingenuity, Prime Minister John Key proposed to cut down P by banning its main ingredient pseudoephedrine. I am sure he’s proud of his clever solution to the problem. I would love to see if that works because if banning was effective, banning P should have been enough. If you thought parental control over Internet surfing was overrated, think again. Your child might just leave you a couple of thousand dollars poorer or in debt. Three-year-old Pipi Quinlan dug a massive financial hole for her parents after she somehow managed to buy a $20,000 earth-moving digger off Trade Me. Apparently, Pipi was just playing around with the computer when the rest of her family was sleeping and probably dreaming of big budget savings. Her mum was already logged into the auction site. Speaking of dreams I thought I was dreaming when I saw the Auckland Town Hall turning into a rocket ship and then a massive lolly house and then something else. I wasn’t sleeping though. It was part of Telecom’s snazzy promotional campaign, celebrating the launch of a new mobile network. This meant my FB being inundated with album loads of photos from the scene the next day. If just the mention of taxes pisses you off, imagine if you were told to pay tax for dumping poo. An Auckland-based wastewater company has found itself in shit after a Puketutu Island iwi demanded it pays tax for dumping sewage on the island. Bosses are mean. A Hastings truck driver’s boss fired him for being too big and asked him to undergo a stomach stapling operation last week. But the good thing is the Employment Relations Authority awarded the driver $14,500. Staying with the topic of driving, a seven-month-pregnant woman who was caught drink-driving for the eighth time celebrated the feat by doing, guess what? Getting pissed. I love windfalls. A Rotorua couple fled with millions of dollars after Westpac mistakenly transferred $10 million instead of $10,000 into their account. Like duh! I probably would have done the same too. What were they thinking?

H8ING

usu

In Unison, Playaz Issue.indd 23

28/05/2009 6:47:36 p.m.

Sport

column

The Goose’s

GANDER AT SPORT

SLOGAN WANTED FOR AUSTRALIA 2018 BID AND OTHER FOOTBALL NEWS As far as we can tell, advertisers and designers get paid vast amounts of cash for doing very little and now the industry’s boffins have found a way of doing even less for their cash by introducing ’crowdsourcing’, which basically means that you the public do their job for them. To highlight this process DesignBay are running a competition, via twitter, to try and find a tagline for Australia’s bid for the 2018 World Cup. Unfortunately the winning entry will not be used as the official slogan for the tournament but the winner will bag themselves $100. The real idea behind the scheme is to show that virtually cost-free crowdsourcing can be just as effective as hiring an expensive PR firm. If you think you can better offerings such as Our backyard’s yours!, The beautiful game played in its natural surroundings and Kicking it Down Under then go to http://blog.designbay.com/ blog.aspx?blogId=77 ... and post it in the comments section. In other football news, Manchester United has secured its 18th English League title, matching the efforts of Liverpool, who till now held the title on their own, but recently proved even further that the English are losing the grip on their great game. Sir Alex Ferguson’s team set a new standard in the Manchester derby, not because of the ease with which United brushed City

aside, but because it was the first time in the club’s 131-year history that the starting line-up did not contain a single Englishman. With regular first-teamers Wayne Rooney, Michael Carrick and Rio Ferdinand all rested it was left to players from Holland, France, Northern Ireland, Serbia, Brazil, Portuga, Wales, Scotland, South Korea Bulgaria and Argentina to keep United’s title push on track. But United fans need not worry about the international make-up of the squad just yet as it would be equally possible for Ferguson to field an entire team of Englishman. And finally, it’s not been a great last few weeks for Arsenal’s Nicklas Bendtner. Firstly, the Gunners were dumped out of the Champions League, then he was photographed stumbling out of a night club with his pants down and a fine for ’unacceptable behaviour’ quickly followed. But the Danish international had made a better job of convincing manager Arsene Wenger that he was innocent in the whole pantsgate affair. Following a meeting with the 21-year-old, Wenger said: ”I was angry when I saw the pictures but he has been set up. He was not drunk but somebody was waiting for him to leave the club and pulled his pants down from behind. Then they took a picture and posted it around the world. That’s what he told me.” Believe that, you’ll believe anything, I’m the Goose and you’re not.

USU PRESENTS

BEDTIME STORIES

6PM THURS 4TH JUNE GOLD LECTURE THEATRE

THE HUB FREE ENTRY

’A SS

ITE

usu OCIATION

In Unison, Playaz Issue.indd 24

STU

FREE ICE CREAM FOR THE FIRST 20 PEOPLE!

ALL WELCOME

28/05/2009 6:47:37 p.m.

dear barbie

Dear Barbie, I was thinking about writing a poem for this hot chick in my class. Here goes... Roses are red, but I am smitten You make me blush like a spring kitten When you gave me your pen, I was dumbstruck I think I want you... Please don’t think I’m a dumbfuck. What do you think? Honestly. You’re all romantic n shit, right? Thanx Bruno

Dear Barbie, Do you like politics? Love from your mate, Anonymous MP Dear Annie, Well, now that you ask, I must say I have delved in a little personality whoring in my time, aside from the obvious -LOL!!! Once upon a time, I went for class pressie and I could’ve possibly done a bit of housekeeping for the principal. This was in high school. If I went to high school. I would’ve won anyway. That was a long time ago. Okay? I’d clearly win any election, if that’s what you want to know. Politics is doochie. Love, Barbie

Dear Bruno. Here’s a wee bit of poetic advice for you.

xox

Dear BARBIE

Idiots are funny, your poem is truly gay. She thinks you’re ugly and she’s got a boyfriend anyway.

Buy her some flowers and make it obvious that you’re looking down her top and that you’d like to get into her pants. Romantic escapades are something I know about and this, darling, isn’t a good start. xx Barbie PS, Romantic n SHIT?! Well, I never....

UNITEC STUDENTS/STAFF!! PLAY SQUASH AT MT ALBERT CAMPUS!! FREE GEAR HIRE IN APRIL AND MAY!! ONLY $4.50 EACH BEFORE 5PM ANY DAY!!

Get your fellow students /staff together now for some fun!! Book a squash court now ! For bookings Ph 815 8602 or email play@natsquash.co.nz or book via our website. www.play@natsquash.co.nz • • • • •

Subway Restaurant on site. Pro Shop, Restringing service Shower facilities Refreshments available Coaching available

The National Squash Centre is located inside the Unitec Campus, Gate 3, Carrington Road, MT Albert - beside O’Ryan’s Gym.

In Unison, Playaz Issue.indd 25

28/05/2009 6:47:38 p.m.

reviews film NIGHT AT THE MUSEUM 2

Views

Feeling vulnerable on a Saturday night, with a head cold and not enough sleep, I went along to the family friendly Night at the Museum Two, an incredibly light movie but with impressive effects, a weak plot and a lacklustre attempt at teaching history. I haven’t seen the first Night at the Museum but it was pretty easy to fill in the blanks. Larry Daley (Ben Stiller) has moved on from his job as a night guard at New York’s Museum of Natural History, to a successful life as a businessman who invents infomercial type junk. He goes back to visit the museum, where at night, the exhibits (Neanderthals, Teddy Roosevelt, a T-Rex) come to life because of a magical golden tablet (its origins, I’m sure are explained in the first film). However, the exhibits - his friends - are taken to be archived at The Smithsonian in Washington, along with the tablet. The tablet then makes all the other exhibits come to life in the Smithsonian and trouble unfolds. The evil Egyptian pharaoh Kahmunrah (Hank Azaria) becomes the ruler of the museum when awakened by the magic tablet, so he, and his “bad-guys of history’’ cronies need to be defeated. Done on a huge budget with plenty of special effects and a few comedians thrown in for good measure, this movie was not that bad when watching it, but when thinking about it afterwards, it seems pretty blasé. Decent actors and comedians were smattered throughout the movie, but none were utilised as best they could, vast improvements could be had if there were less cameo appearances and more substantial scenes from the big guns in this film, like comedian/actor Steve Coogan who played a miniature Octavius. Ricky Gervais, who played the museum manager, fell a little flat using his signatory wry jibes and the gung-ho Bill Hader was also a little trite. Ben Stiller was OK, in a funny serious way, but the other main character, the broughtback-to-life Amelia Earhart, played by Amy Adams was totally weak and pointless, there to bring in the predictable love angle.

SYNECDOCHE, NEW YORK film If there is still a single, genius artist working in mainstream cinema today; I’m pretty sure his name is Charlie Kaufman. Arguably the world’s most famous screenwriter; Kaufman is the man whose twisted little loins gave the world modern classics and genuine big budget, mainstream, yet somehow intellectually stimulating works such as Being John Malkovich, and Adaptation. Synecdoche, New York however is Kaufman’s first attempt at directing his own work. This film is complex. Kaufman likes to put a lot of information into his work, and though this inspires multiple viewings; it can at times be a little hard to follow. In a completely futile attempt to break the film down; it is about Caden Cotard (Philip Seymour Hoffman), an uncharismatic and unhappy playwright whose wife (Catherine Keener) leaves him. The film follows Caden as he spends his life attempting to create a theatre piece which is absolutely truthful, while he also slowly physically deteriorates by way of an unknown illness. A working replication of the outside world performed by a cast of hundreds in an endless warehouse (complete with mini warehouse), which is the plot, but it isn’t the film -the film is about everything, or at least it feels like it is. Hoffman is stellar, and affirms his position as the world’s greatest living actor. Other stand-outs are former Robocop villain Tom Noonan as the actor playing Caden and Catherine Keener as Caden’s detached artist wife. But it is Kaufman and his unparalleled vision and endless ambition. The movie is depressing, hilarious, frustrating, and ultimately thought provoking (though the thoughts it provokes will leave you thinking about what you should be thinking about). It’s like a Woody Allen movie co-written with Franz Kafka from halfway down the rabbit hole. You’ve probably missed your chance to see it on the big screen. But once this arrives at Video Ezy hire it out. And watch it thrice. Reviewed by Joseph Harper

More of a parents taking their kids kind of movie, but definitely good if you don’t want to do any thinking for a few hoursunless you want to absorb the jazzed up history lessons splashed throughout. Reviewed by Stacey Knott

THANKS TO:

for more info on movies showing now and coming soon visit www.skycitycinemas.co.nz

WIN A DOUBLE MOVIE PASS BY EMAILING WHAT YOU THINK THE WORST MOVIE EVER IS AND WHY TO INUNISON@UNITEC.AC.NZ 26

usu

In Unison, Playaz Issue.indd 26

28/05/2009 6:47:39 p.m.

reviews

Wavves

music

Slacker-pop hooks drenched in a deep layer of Jesus and Mary Chain level fuzzy distortion, is it rad? Totally - for a while. Like some kind of disenchanted lo-fidelity Brian Wilson, California native and Pitchfork darling Nathan Williams a.k.a. Wavves, has released his second full length effort in a matter of months. Imagine if Calvin Johnson produced a Beach Boys record and you get a pretty decent idea of what Wavves’ sophomore album, Wavvves, sounds like for the most part. Two thirds of this album chugs along in this style; heavy distortion on every instrument and throwaway lyrics about skateboarding, gothic love and being bored. Anchored down by the seemingly effortless pop sensibility Williams possesses, fans of Beat Happening, Pavement and The Black Keys will find Wavves’ pop hits like So Bored and Get In The Sun hard to resist. The album does have its lows. Along with the pop hooks, Williams seems to have a penchant for dreary experimental tracks. Rainbows Everywhere and Goth Girl are still drowned in Wavves’ signature brand of distortion, but rather than sing-along choruses, the songs are made up entirely of off key oscillations, minimalism is one thing but this is just incredibly boring. Another problem is that production-wise there’s not really enough variation to let songs stand out from one another. It’s all a bit samey, which doesn’t help it lend itself for multiple listens. I think this problem really stems back to the kind of rushed feeling the album has. Sure, the ideas are all solid and with a few more months of fermentation, Wavvves could be an absolute stunner. It’s not bad. It’s just not as good as I want it to be. Reviewed by Joseph Harper

Views

WAVVVES

THE WEEKEND Smashproof

music

I am not overly emo or sensi, even though I do get random urges to call people up sometimes and tell them things like how much I like their hair even though I am always taking the piss. Or how I don’t really mean it when I call them tools for saving up to buy an iPhone. But then that is normally after I’ve had a beer or seven. So when I first heard Brother by hip-hop powerhouse SmashProof, I was a bit like “yeah” but I’m not sure if admitting I like the words will reveal my sentimental side and how, despite my careless disregard for most things, I actually want the world to be a better place, where everyone loves everybody else, and where Rodney Hide exists only in everyone’s imagination. Surprised as I was to find out apparently most people I know felt the same way – something clearly indicated by chart numbers.

The South Auckland-based trio broke a 23-year-old record by retaining the #1 spot on NZ Singles Chart for the longest time ever. The song, or rather a subtle social commentary, which delves into complex social and personal issues has all the qualities that separate a hip-hop tune from a hip-hop anthem. Add to it, Kiwi delight Gin Wigmore’s nasal voice, and you have a song that is undeniably catchy and poignant at once. The idea then is to start with a song about Friday, right from the time when “you clock out of work” and cruise off to a liquor store and head right into a debased yet sometimes soulful and profound journey until you find yourself back at work on Monday. SmashProof – which consists of Tyree,Young Sid and Deach – describes The Weekend as a conceptual album which boasts of songs that everyone can relate to. Smashproof keeps up with its name with other indestructible hip hop tunes such as Breathe In, Breathe Out, I Could Take You There, and Ordinary Life. Overall The Weekend lives up to its true trademark South Auckland spirit with powerful and strong themes. Reviewed by Megha Kehar

usu

In Unison, Playaz Issue.indd 27

28/05/2009 6:47:42 p.m.

om to r f d s ht o e g iz iP ni r -p an the t o e& n p S ob n o l G wo be

usu presents: the annual

white party wear white & glow

Friday

5th June, 7pm at Carrington’s

$5 USU Members (Unitec Students)

$10 Non-Members (Everyone Else)

$10 Door Sales (If Avaliable)

Tickets from USU Reception (Bldg 180 – The Hub)

’A SS

ITE

usu OCIATION

STU

R18 ID Required

In Unison, Playaz Issue.indd 28

www.usu.co.nz 28/05/2009 6:47:42 p.m.

profiles

GRADUATE PROFILE: SOPHIE HENDERSON

HOW DID YOU GET INVOLVED WITH SILO THEATRE AND WHAT HAS THE EXPERIENCE BEEN LIKE? In 2007 I auditioned for Silo’s Ensemble Project and was lucky enough to be chosen. 12 new actors were selected for a sort of theatrical boot-camp. We performed Tis Pity She’s a Whore, directed by Michael Hurst and ’Based on Auckland’ directed by Oliver Driver, as part of the Auckland Festival. It was a challenging and incredible experience and I learnt a heck of a lot. HOW DO YOU RELATE TO THE CHARACTER YOU WILL PLAY IN THE SCENE? I don’t really. I think if I met Clea I would hate her. If you imagine all the girls you don’t like and roll them into one, that’s probably her. She’s fun to play though, because she’s naughty and quite stupid and her behaviour is outrageous. Clea uses sex as a weapon, and will ruin people’s lives to get what she wants. WHAT INSPIRES YOU TO GET INTO CHARACTER? I find my character through the script. Every character you play is a puzzle, and you find most of the clues in the text. A really useful exercise is working out what other characters say about you, what you say about yourself and what you say about other characters. I also try to find the physicality of a character - how they move, how they gesture, how they stand. And their voice - do they have an accent? What rhythms do they have when they speak? I do a lot of research around the world of the play, I work out the character’s history and where they come from, making strong choices if the script doesn’t have all the answers. I like to choose a song for my character too - that can be really useful to listen to before going on stage. WHAT ADVICE CAN YOU GIVE CURRENT UNITEC PERFORMING ARTS STUDENTS TO GET INTO THE CAREER THEY WANT? Don’t hold your breath for work, make your own. Put on a show at the Basement. Go and watch theatre. Remember that you’re still an actor even when you’re not working. WHAT ARE SOME OF THE DIFFICULTIES ACTORS FACE IN NEW ZEALAND? We are such a tiny country, and so our industry is tiny. There is not enough acting work to go round. Even some of the best actors in New Zealand don’t have full time acting work.You need to have a job to supplement your acting career. In New Zealand you can’t really specialise in stage or screen, you have to be able to do both. But more and more overseas production companies are coming here to shoot film and television, let’s cross our fingers that they keep-on-coming and bringing the work to us.

BAND PROFILE: THE HOME BREW CREW

Profiles

SILO THEATRE STAPLE AND UNITEC PERFORMING ARTS GRADUATE SOPHIE HENDERSON STARS IN SILO’S LATEST WORK, THE SCENE. SHE TAKES ON A ROLE FAMILIAR WITH VIEWERS OF SHOWS SUCH AS GOSSIP GIRL AND SEX AND THE CITY: A TOXIC, SEXUALLY AVARICIOUS BLOND FROM THE PROVINCES TRYING TO MAKE IT BIG IN MANHATTAN. STACEY KNOTT TALKS TO HER ABOUT HER CAREER AND CHARACTER.

IF YOU’RE A “SUBSTANCE ABUSER, SOCIAL REJECT OR HOMELESS”,YOU ARE QUITE LIKELY TO APPRECIATE AUCKLAND-BASED HIP HOP ACT THE HOME BREW CREW – THE BAND’S SOCIAL NETWORKING PROFILES PROUDLY ADMIT.THE BAND, KNOWN FOR THEIR CLEVER LYRICS AND REFERENCES TO EVERYDAY STUFF, LAUNCHED ITS FIRST EP ‘LAST WEEK’ IN 2008. HBC CONSISTS OF TOM (MC), HAZ BEATS (PRODUCER), LUI SILK (MC) AND SUBSTANCE (DJ, AUDIO ENGINEER). MEGHA KEHAR TALKS TO MC TOM. WHAT IS HOME BREW? It’s pretty much music about everyday shit.

WHO IS YOUR FAVOURITE HIP/HOP ARTIST AT THE MOMENT? Right now I’m really into Blu and Pac Div. My iPod’s still stuck in the past though. Also into like Hudson Mohawk and Nujabes and shit. But at heart, I’m more of a words dude. HOW OLD ARE YOU GUYS AND HOW DID YOU MEET? We’re all a little under a quarter century. We met at an AA meeting.

WHO OR WHAT HAS INFLUENCED YOUR MUSIC THE MOST? Inspiration usually comes from other artists – like dudes we sample. Donny, Nina, Coltrane, etc. But also it can come from everyday life. I have been reading a lot of Nietzsche lately, so that dude’s been inspiring me at the moment. All that recurrent universe shit. But yeah, pretty much anything. Just the fact that I love enjoy doing something is usually inspiration enough. WHAT ARE YOU WORKING ON AT THE MOMENT? We’re working on music for our album. It’s been about five years brewing. It’s gonna be one side Home Brew light. The other Home Brew dark. Like half light lager/half straight scotch kinda thing. Also trying to save up cash to put it out.

ONE HOMEBREW SONG THAT EVERYONE SHOULD LISTEN TO? Bad Bad Whiskey.

usu

In Unison, Playaz Issue.indd 29

28/05/2009 6:47:46 p.m.

recipes

STEPHANIE MCCOLL’S

Life Lessons

LEARNED THROUGH BAKING With anything in life you can learn lessons – so why not when baking and eating wonderful treats?! You can think of baking as intensive therapy and personal growth, plus all of your friends and flatmates will love you for it!

Yum Yum

LIFE LESSON # 5 – THE WONDERS OF AGING! While some of us may think that being young is equated with being in your ’prime,’ I would challenge you all to not let the factor of aging and growing older scare you! With the right perspective on life, aging does not need to mean doing less or being boring, rather it can bring an opening of new kinds of activities just waiting to be explored. Here’s a particularly favourite recipe of mine that shows how some things actually get better with age – especially these tasty, little booze balls! Just see for yourself!

BOOZE BALLS

• • • • • • • •

2 cups all-purpose flour 3 cups finely crushed vanilla wafers, or any cookie crumbs of your choice 2 cups icing sugar 1 cup finely chopped nuts, either almonds, hazelnuts, cashews, pecans or walnuts (4 oz) ¼ cup cocoa ½ cup rum, bourbon, or whiskey ¼ cup liquid glucose, golden syrup, or honey Granulated or cocoa for coating

Home Comforts WITH SUSANNAH AITKEN

Hi. I’m Susannah. I like happy accidents. I was rummaging around in the kitchen the other day and fished a rather tired looking bag of rocket out of the back of the fridge. I’m not sure how it came to be there, but it was clearly on its last legs and needed to be used stat. Whizzed up in the food processor with an equally wretched looking bit of parmesan, I was surprised to find that it made a damn good pesto, and stirred through wholemeal spaghetti with a shower of crunchy toasted crumbs on top, it became one of the best simple meals I’ve had in quite a while. The spiky, fresh flavours of the pesto complement the nutty taste and slightly chewy texture of the pasta really nicely, and are also a good change from the super rich and heavy food we usually end up eating as the weather gets colder.

WHOLEMEAL SPAGHETTI WITH ROCKET AND TOASTED CRUMBS (serves 3-5) In a food processor blend a bag of baby rocket with 1-2 Tbs olive oil, 1 clove garlic, juice of half a lemon, a small knob of parmesan and some freshly ground black pepper. Taste and adjust seasonings if necessary. It should be sharp, peppery and ‘green’ tasting (bear in mind that the flavours will mellow when added to the hot pasta). Add to just-cooked wholemeal spaghetti and serve immediately, sprinkled with the garlicky toasted crumbs. TOASTED CRUMBS: In a food processor whizz together 3 slices, or a largish chunk, of slightly stale bread, 2 Tbs olive oil, 2 cloves garlic, chilli flakes to taste, salt (or anchovies) to taste. Try not to process too fine, as crumbs that are slightly big and uneven provide excellent texture and crunch. Toast over medium-low heat in a frying pan until evenly crisp and golden. Any crumbs not used immediately will keep for up to a week in an airtight container. They are also delicious sprinkled on soups and risottos, and a great way to perk up roast vegetables.

Mix crushed wafers, icing sugar, flour, nuts and cocoa. Stir in rum and sugar syrup. Shape mixture into 1 inch balls. Roll in granulated sugar or cocoa Refrigerate in tightly covered container several days before serving – Booze balls can really be kept for ages, which makes the boozy flavour strength over time – yum!

usu

In Unison, Playaz Issue.indd 30

28/05/2009 6:47:50 p.m.

600

success stories

Don't miss out on the BIG Spring Graduation You could be one of 600 celebrating our biggest graduation yet. That’s because graduation has now expanded to include most certificates and diplomas, along with bachelors, masters, PhDs, and graduate and postgraduate diplomas. So if you’re about to complete your qualification, check www.graduation.unitec.ac.nz to find out whether you’re eligible for our big Spring Graduation, 16 September 2009 at the Auckland Town Hall. Application forms are available online, from your School Administration Office or from Student Registry, Building 48. Remember, whether or not you’re attending a ceremony, you’ll need to apply to receive your graduation certificate. Applications close 17 July 2009.

0800 10 95 10 | www.graduation.unitec.ac.nz

In Unison, Playaz Issue.indd 31

28/05/2009 6:47:50 p.m.

5 handy questions to put on the inside of your front door for when the candidates come knocking: Will there be any jobs left for me when I graduate — or have you messed up the economy for good? Green answer: Our Green New Deal economic stimulus package will create sustainable jobs doing things that are good for the environment and good for people.

What exactly are you going to do to make my rent more affordable? Green answer: We support establishing a universal student allowance at a level people can actually live on.

Super City or Grand Theft Auckland?

Green Answer: We say no to no say. Local democracy belongs to the people: as do libraries, parks, community halls and water.

My flat is bloody freezing — would you like to live in it? Green Answer: Maybe after it has been fully insulated — The Green Party has worked to get funding to insulate your house so it’s warmer and healthier.

Is knocking down houses to build motorways the best answer to congestion? Green answer: We need more buses, more frequent trains, better stations, and one ticket for your whole journey, better footpaths and more and safer cycle lanes to reduce congestion.

For text reminder to vote on June 13 text ‘mtalbert’ to 4040 (texts costs 20c) www.greens.org.nz/mtalbert russel@greens.org.nz twitter.com/RusselNorman search Russel Norman on facebook

Get more muscle, vote Russel Authorised by Tony Dunn, Unit 8, 1 Porters Avenue, Eden Terrace, Auckland

In Unison, Playaz Issue.indd 32

28/05/2009 6:47:51 p.m.