In Unison, scandalous issue - 2009 by USU Students' Association at Unitec

The Scandalous Issue

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Issue 07

The

SCANDAL

Issue

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BOOB J OBS AN D PENI E N LA R S GEMEN TS E D I TO R ’S AFFA IR WIT MICHA H EL JACK SON SEX, DR UGS & CELEBS AT ’A SSOCIATION

15/07/2009 3:36:28 p.m.

USU PRESENTS:

CONCORD DAWN WITH

ANTIFORM ( LIVE SET )

AND

PAGE 3

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$ 10 USU M E M BE R S (UNITEC STU D E N T S )

GAT E 1

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$ 2 0 N O N -ME MB E R S ( E VE RYO N E E L S E )

MT ALBERT

$ 2 0 D O O R SAL ES ( I F AVA I L A B L E)

TICKETS FROM USU RECEPTION (BLDG 180 - THE HUB) | R18 (ID REQUIRED)

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WWW.USU.CO.NZ

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The Scandalous Issue, 20th July 2009 www.usu.co.nz/inunison

Re-orientation Interviews

Scandal Obsession

18 26

’A SS

ITE

usu OCIATION

STU

regulars

VSM vs CSM USU, WTF?

Editorial

Vox Pop/Comics

Tirade

Fashion/Letters

News

Photos

Gig Guide

Student Design

Whakarongo Mai

23 25

Newsbot

Dear Barbie

Reviews

Artist/Grad profile

Recipes

Sport Column

USU STUDENTS’ ASSOCIATION AT UNITEC

EDITORIAL INQUIRIES: ph. (09) 815 4321 ext 7927 inunison@unitec.ac.nz PO Box 44016, Pt Chevalier CREDITS EDITOR: Stacey Knott DESIGNER: Erin Gaffney COVER PHOTO: Erin Gaffney

In Unison, Scandalous Issue.indd 3

Plastic Fantasic , plastic surgery in NZ

Contents

features

ADVERTISING INQUIRIES: ph. (09) 815 4321 ext. 7384 usuadvertising@unitec.ac.nz

DISCLAIMER Opinions expressed in this publication are not necessarily those of the publishers. Submission and contributors are welcome, but the publisher reserves the right to select and edit the material submitted. Materials submitted will remain property of the publisher, unless alternative arrangements are made.

CONTRIBUTORS Joseph Harper / Megha Kehar / Susannah Aitken / Stephanie McColl Savannah MacIntosh / Mikel Krummins / Ajay Murthy NMA / Newsbot / Barbie / The Goose

15/07/2009 3:36:34 p.m.

editorial

R.I.P MICHAEL

Scandal...

By now, you’re probably sick of hearing about what a legend Michael Jackson was, about his untimely death and the countless scandals that surrounded him both in life and death. However, this is the Scandalous Issue, and MJ who was undoubtedly the King of Pop, was also, regrettably, the King of Scandals. He was also my idol of idols and this editorial is dedicated to him. The day Michael Jackson died will be a day that many will remember exactly where they were when they heard the news- it’s the entertainment world’s 9/11. I will always remember the moment I heard the MJ news. I was on holiday at home in Nelson, doing some last minute packing to go up to Wellington to celebrate my birthday. Bad timing.

I filled my school books with pictures of me as a pop-star on stage, inspired by MJ.

”

At 10am my dad called me from work, he had just heard the news on the radio. “Did you hear the news?” “No, what?” “Michael Jackson is dead.” “What? Are you serious, are you kidding?” From there it got very messy- not worth depicting. My mum came running up the stairs to my hysteria and took the phone- she was frantic thinking that someone in our family had died. At the risk of sounding like a total sycophant, to me, it actually felt like they had. We rushed straight to the TV and turned on BBC News. Helicopters circled Jackson’s LA home, and the reporter repeatedly announced “there is an unconfirmed report Michael Jackson has died after a cardiac arrest.” I was inconsolable. The calls and texts came flooding in, with many giving me their “deepest condolences,” sincerely, I assumed as all my friends are well aware of my fanatical passion for MJ and his music. A quick flight to Wellington an hour later and I was in the comforting arms of my boyfriend, who encouraged me to think of the good times I had had with the legend. Later that night, I had wines with two of my best friends, and we made a small shrine to the man, listened to his tunes and they let me spill my memories and grief over his passing. These guys were planning on buying me a ticket to his concert for my birthday.

While, to my dismay I never met the man (though I often had re-occurring dreams we were pals and hung out), he did play a huge part in my life. At age four I started dancing lessons and kept at it for ten years with the flimsy goal of one day being able to dance on stage with MJ (though, in hindsight, I was never very good at the art). When I started primary school, I filled my school books with pictures of me as a pop-star on stage, inspired by MJ. Listening to his socially and environmentally aware music since very early days helped shape my views and conscience, and his amazing outfits are probably part of the reason why my wardrobe is full of sparkly sequined ensembles and accessories. The video for Heal the World made me question war at a young age, and I spent countless hours falling on my bed trying to do the Smooth Criminal anti-gravity lean. Other than the music and dance he gave the world, Jackson was a humanitarian, and despite all that was said of him and done to him, he still wanted to help others. His humanitarian work began in the early 1980s, since then he has donated millions to hospitals, charitable organisations, met with terminally-ill children, made scholarships, helped fight world hunger, AIDs and cancer. One of his most notable projects was We Are The World, written with Lionel Ritchie and featuring all the stars of the 80s, where all proceeds went to fighting starvation in Africa. Songs like Heal the World, Man in the Mirror, Black or White and Earth Song are a testament to what was important to Jackson. As a tribute to this, the US Congress is looking at having a House Bill to honour his humanitarian work. Representative Sheila Jackson Lee promoted the Bill and also spoke at Jackson’s heart-rending memorial on July 8 (NZ time). She spoke about Jackson’s Good Samaritan actions he will be “honoured forever, and forever, and forever and forever.” she said. And I could not agree more with her when she said the world is better because of Michael Jackson. Despite all the good he did, his life was embroiled in scandal, but I, like many other fans always had blind faith in Jackson over all his accusations, and never bought into the scandal that surrounded him. He was, and always will be the King of Pop, “Born To Amuse, To Inspire, To Delight” - a legend that will live on for many decades to come.

Stacey Knott In Unison Editor, 2009

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4% GAMING DAY

I’m very happy with the way

10% HYPNOTIST SHOW

I am. I haven’t been following it, not really into politics.

PAMELA DZIWULSKA

A friend having a handful of guys just rotating them (to date).

Just a lot of skin surfacing treatment.

A little OTT for me, didn’t know what was going on.

DANIELLE SILVER

A transgender male friend in Brazil pole dancing at a new student greeting day.

I would save it for the future I don’t want to change anything right now.

I don’t really get New Zealand politics yet with the scandal involved. It’s a very different logic than where I come from.

9% COMEDY SHOW

Bits & Pieces

A friend trying to hook up with my ex-girlfriend.

WHAT’S GOING TO BE THE BEST PART OF RE-ORIENTATION? 5% CLUB’S DAY 5% FREE FILM NIGHT

TOFA RAHIM

POLL

etc. etc.

VOX POP

1.WHAT IS THE MOST SCANDALOUS THING YOU OR ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS HAS EVER DONE? 2.IF WE GAVE YOU UNLIMITED MONEY TO GET PLASTIC SURGERY, WHAT WOULD YOU DO? 3.WHAT DID YOU THINK OF THE MT ALBERT BY-ELECTION?

32% CONCORD DAWN & ANTIFORM 6% TERTIARY CHALLENGE 29% FREE BBQS SOURCE: www.usu.co.nz

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15/07/2009 3:36:49 p.m.

usu vice president’s tirade

HIYA…

Tirade

Hello everyone I’m Ajay, the USU Vice-President for this year and I’d like to welcome you to what promises to be another great semester at Unitec. I hope you’ve enjoyed the holidays and have had time to relax and party! Before the grind of the semester starts, remember we’ve got Re-Orientation! There are some great gigs planned for ReOrientation and this is a great time for you to socialize, get to know your classmates, explore the campus and also to find out more about all the services that USU and Unitec offer. There are some important things happening this semester that will affect you as a student and it is important that you are aware of what’s happening. We will keep you informed, so make sure to check the USU website and also In Unison regularly. The USU is run by us students and we are always looking for more students who want to get involved. Last semester, we had student reps for most courses and programmes; it was great to see so many students making their voices heard. You can become a rep this semester for your course and programme too. Make sure to ask your lecturer for more info or contact the USU Education Coordinator at the USU office (bldg 180). This is a great way of making sure student feedback and concerns are heard, this improves and ensures the quality of education we all receive. We are also getting set to elect the exec for the next year. The student executive is the governing body of the USU and we meet every two weeks. Any student can run for any of the

positions on the executive. This is a great opportunity for you to learn new skills, meet people and even get paid! You can nominate yourself or any of your classmates. Nominations open next Monday July 27 – grab yourself a nomination form from the USU Reception. Yay for democracy! The USU Clubs are also a great way to meet new people who share similar interests as you. There are many active clubs on campus for you to join and if you don’t find the one that you’re after...why not start a club?! Come along to the Clubs day on the 22nd at The Hub to check it out. That’s it from me for this issue. Come say ‘hi’ if you see me around the campus and want to have a chat. I’ll also be at most events during Re-Orientation. Concord Dawn were awesome last year and am really looking forward to their gig on the 31st. See you there! Ps: RIP MJ - Excellent musician, Eccentric man. You will be missed. Ajay, USU Vice President 2009

EXEC PROFILE: MANUEL POTORU, POST GRAD REP

student executive committe as a post graduate exec I thought well why not. So I applied for the position. WHAT HAVE YOU DONE FOR STUDENTS SO FAR THIS YEAR, AND WHAT ELSE ARE YOU PLANNING TO DO? I think sometimes the best thing I can do for students is listen... it does take some time and practice to be a good listener.

WHO ARE YOU AND WHY ARE YOU A STUDENT EXEC? I come from the south of Auckland and my name is Manuel Potoru. when I saw that there was an opportunity to take part in USU’s

WHAT IS YOUR FAVOURITE ALBUM AT THE MOMENT? Smooth criminal - Michael Jackson

ADAM

General Exec usu@unitec.ac.nz

TOGIA

General Exec usu@unitec.ac.nz

PETE

General Exec usu@unitec.ac.nz

Treasurer usu@unitec.ac.nz

THANINDU

MANUAL

Post-Graduate Rep usu@unitec.ac.nz

Maori Rep usu@unitec.ac.nz

HANELLE

NATASCHA

DIANE

International Rep usu@unitec.ac.nz

Waitakere Rep usu@unitec.ac.nz

AJAY

Vice President usuvp@unitec.ac.nz

THE USU EXEC

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15/07/2009 3:37:00 p.m.

RANASTA

Studies I.T. He is looking very sharp with his skinny jean and skivvy combo.

LETTERS TO THE EDITOR GREEN SOLUTION?

Your article in issue 05 ”Your driving is killing the polar bears” refers to Palm Oil and Rapaseed, being first generation bio-fuel crops made from sugars, starches, oils, fats or plants, are competing with food crops and driving up prices. This is also devastating forests in across Asia and fueling global warming. Sadly, the rate of deforestation in Malaysia is clearing three acres of forest every minute and in Indonesia over 40% of their forests had been cleared during the last 50 years. Many of our precious forests will soon have disappeared. Second generation bio-fuels are now coming on-stream which are generally derived from non-food crops utilizing new biomass-to-fuelconversion technologies. These come from Algae, Babassu, Halophytes, Jatropha and Switchgrass. If first generation bio-fuels were used as the sole means of supplying the world’s fuels the whole surface area of the Earth would be needed to produce them. In the case of second generation bio-fuels, an area the size of Belgium would suffice. Furthermore, scientists are working hard on the production of sustainable electric vehicles. The days of the internal (infernal) combustion engine are numbered. Hybrid cars and buses are becoming more popular and the all-electric GREEN solution is almost a reality. The future of the human race depends on this, and other promising new technologies.We humans are increasingly threatening all species on Earth, but once we are gone, all other species will likely flourish. We must each do our best to secure the future of our race and become the custodians of all creatures which inhabit the only planet we know which is able to sustain life, planet Earth. Iain Seymour-Hart Head of Department of Transport Technology

CAPTION COMP MR ESCORT

Studies Automotive Technology. We love the bold coloured jumper.

Snapped

Both study English. We like their original style and matching hats. Tights are a good way of keeping your legs toasty in winter.

letters

YUKI & CHINAMI

fashion on campus

FASHION ON CAMPUS

MARYANN

Is doing a Diploma of Business. Good colour co-ordination. Good boots.

THIS WEEKS PIC COME UP WITH A CAPTION FOR THIS PHOTO AND BE IN TO WIN A DOUBLE SKY CITY MOVIE PASS! Email your caption to: inunison@unitec.ac.nz Competition closes: 29th July

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news

Read me...

UH-OH YOUR CLASS IS GOING TO GET BIGGER By Stacey Knott

Unitec teaching staff might be dropped if their departments are not making money. Unitec is in its second phase of restructuring, and is looking at how it can raise the number of students to a lecturer in classes across the institution. For courses that require low student to staff ratios (SSR) for health and safety reasons or medical practice courses, Unitec says it will keep classes small; however, others could see a big increase in class size. Unitec has proposed a few ways to bring up SSRs across the institution

such as using more technology, says USU Education Coordinator, Dr Louise Allen. “A lecturer may speak in one lecture theatre and have this lecture relayed by video technology simultaneously to another theatre, perhaps at another campus, so that way the class can be twice the size, with only one lecturer taking it.” She says Unitec is also considering reducing students’ contact hours with lecturers, meaning students may be expected to do more self-directed learning in their own time, or do more work in study groups without a lecturer present.

MESSAGE TO JOHN KEY

Photo: Erin Gaffney

By Stacey Knott

Zimbabwean actor Brian Mathenga (ex-Shortland Street) is one of the many sending John Key a message to sign on to lowering carbon emissions in the name of climate change. Mathenga was part of World Environment Day (on June 5) when hundreds of New Zealanders stopped what they were doing for ‘The Big Freeze’ (where people in a public space freeze for five minutes). He joined Oxfam campaigners’ at the Britomart with an ice sculpture of John Key to collect signatures for their Feel the Heat petition, asking the Government to commit to dropping emission levels in New Zealand to at least 40 percent below 1990 levels, by 2020.

She cites another proposal as having introductory courses with common ideas in them shared across different departments, she says Education, Social Practice, Sport and Health disciplines might share an introductory course on Sociology or Ethics. Unitec chief executive Dr Rick Ede says five departments are currently under review to meet SSR targets; Automotive Technology, Building Technology, Engineering, Management and Health Science. In Unison will report on this in-depth in the next issue.

STUDENTS BEWARE... By NMA Unitec students are cautioned to carry valid student identification when using any MAXX Transport services, following an incident where a Unitec student who presented a Tertiary 10 ride ticket could not produce suitable student identification or alternative payment, was asked to leave the service. Sonja Thomsen of the Auckland Regional Transport Authority warns that all bus drivers should be checking that people who produce a Tertiary 10 Ride Ticket can also provide valid student identification. If a person can not provide alternative payment they could be asked to leave the service. Valid ID carries the official MAXX blue or gold sticker which is issued by Unitec, either from Building 48, Reception Office at Building 1, Computing and IT Department or the Language Department at the Mt Albert Campus. Students on the North Shore campus can contact the Reception area. Students at Waitakere can get a MAXX sticker from Student Services.

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15/07/2009 3:37:20 p.m.

news

By Megha Kehar

Last month Labour candidate David Shearer was named MP of Mt Albert in a hotly contested by-election that was replete with all sorts of political drama. He succeeds former Prime Minister Helen Clark who was the electorate’s MP for almost three decades. Megha Kehar chats with David Shearer. What are your priorities for your first term in Parliament? I want to go back to the community and the people I met during my campaign. I want to have meetings with them so I can understand their needs better. Other things that I want to do is follow up on the Mt Albert shopping area issue. Third thing; Labour MPs and I want to make sure we put pressure on the Government with regards to the Super City. What is your stand on the proposed multi-million dollar expansion of Westfield St Luke’s shopping mall? The residents are reasonable and not anti-development. The city council’s private plan change will enable any development in that area to be done without any consultation with the residents. The

residents have been put in a position where they are forced to object (to the expansion of the mall) because if they don’t they won’t have any say in the future. What plans do you have for Unitec? One of the other things that I would like to do is involve Unitec’s Faculty of Urban Design and Landscape in our planning. I think there is a lot of imagination and we are not using it.There is an enormous pool of brain power out there. And what do you have in mind for the students? Students at Unitec come from all over Auckland.The thing I can directly look at it is how we can have a much better relationship between the MP and the Government and Unitec, for the benefit of the wider community. Also during the campaign, something that kept coming up was students demanding better public transport. Then there are general issues about support for students -improving the student allowance is what Labour is moving towards. We don’t like the capping of funds to the tertiary education sector. What do you think your constituents expect of you?What can you realistically

deliver to your constituents? What they expect is the sort of service we have had from some of the past MPs. Helen Clark, who was one of them, was considered a very strong local MP. I want to continue the tradition and get behind the communities. You were in Iraq for many years. What was your experience? I was the head of the UN Reconstruction and Rehabilitation program and deputy head of UN Mission in Iraq.We built hospitals, schools, irrigation pumps, etc. We were trying to restore services for the people of Iraq. Iraq and New Zealand are completely different places in every aspect, how do you think your experience in Iraq can be applied here? The skills such as planning,management, conflict resolution and negotiations that I learnt there are immediately applicable in a different context. I found that people value politicians who come from working in a different environment. I am a passionate New Zealander and have worked overseas for 20 years. Now I want to work for New Zealand and serve its people.

BUDGET DISAPPOINTING. BUT NOT EXCESSIVELY By Joseph Harper

In spite of recognising the importance of tertiary institutions in times of global economic crisis National’s 2009 Budget was full of slashes and cuts to universities and polytechnics. The Budget briefing stated the tertiary sector is, “a key national strategic asset which plays a vital role in building skills of New Zealanders” –however, the Budget announced cuts in several areas of strategic importance. Universities have been hit hard by National’s Budget, with a funding reduction of over $22 million per annum. Though they were also subject to cuts; institutes of technology –such as Unitec, have fared better. Their cuts came predominantly in the form of loss of predicted incomes rather than current funding. Unitec’s chief executive Dr Rick Ede was optimistic in the face of what was admittedly a “disappointing” Budget. “If anything, it ended up being not quite as bad as we thought it might

be...particularly for next year, 2010, for Unitec there’s very little impact in terms of our income.” He noted that the cuts will have more of an effect on Unitec from 2011 onwards, though he was pragmatic in thinking the cuts would amount to “around $3-4 million dollars of income... (which) is a sizeable amount. But in the context of our budget, it’s only two to three percent of our revenue. Which is, for us, far more easily digested.” As a result of the global economic crisis Unitec -and most other tertiary education providers- is seeing large increases in enrolments, and Dr Ede notes that the Government’s continued policy of enrolment caps could cause the institution difficulty. “The existing policy of the cap on funding makes it much more difficult for institutions to cope with the inflow of students. We are almost certain to go over our funding cap this year; meaning

Me too...

YOUR SHINEY NEW MP

that if we enrol more students, we get no more additional funding from the Government, or they retain the right to actually withdraw funding from us.” To combat this, Unitec is in the process of submitting a response to the Tertiary Education Commission which states that, although enrolments will push Unitec over the funding cap, the students are studying areas which are relevant and could prove valuable to getting New Zealand’s economy back in shape. Dr Ede also expressed a keen interest in students who will be personally affected by the Budget’s move to discontinue two of the most popular scholarships offered by Studylink; the Bonded Merit, and Step Up scholarships. “With these tighter economic circumstances, I’m sure many of our students are struggling to balance their academic aspirations with the need to financially support themselves and their families,” he says.

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feature

R E - O R I E NTAT CONCORD

DAWN

IN JULY HEAVY-WEIGHT DRUM AND BASS ACT CONCORD DAWN IS COMING TO UNITEC FOR RE-ORIENTATION. MEGHA KEHAR TALKS TO MATT HARVEY. Concord Dawn is a formidable drum and bass band that finds its roots in New Zealand. Its founding members are New Zealanders Matt Harvey (aka Matty C) who is now based in Vienna, and Evan Short (aka Kill Joy). Concord Dawn formed in 1999 and played the underground music scene for awhile, featuring heavily on student radio stations. In 2000 they were signed to local electronic music label Kog Transmission and came out with their first album titled Concord Dawn. The album, which was followed by a New Zealand-wide tour, was a huge success, with drum and bass lovers embracing it wholeheartedly. Concord Dawn hasn’t looked back since then. Soon after the tour they released their second album named Disturbance which lived up to the quintessential high octane electronic sound that Concord Dawn had come to being associated with. The duo returned with their third album Uprising in September 2003, this saw them get signed to UK-based electronica labels. Their fourth album Chaos by Design was released in 2005 earning Concord Dawn several nominations, including Best International Act at the 2009 UK Drum and Bass Awards. Concord Dawn is known for its energetic live performances. They have played extensively in Asia, America US, Europe and Canada, Australia and NZ.

How old are you guys and how did you meet? I’m 31. Me and Evan met at intermediate school. But he’s retired now as he is an old fart. What are you doing in Vienna? Today I have been working on a tune with a friend from Prague who came over on the train and will stay for a few days. Will do that the next few days, then finish up a tune I made with Trei from Wellington when he was here. Then I’m off to Porto, then another week in the studio before I do a tour of America on the way to New Zealand. So busy, busy. And it’s stinking hot at the moment. Any plans of returning to New Zealand for good? Sure, maybe in five years or so. Bands or other kinds of music that inspire Concord Dawn? Cave In, Openhand, Ken Andrews. Stuff like that I guess. Your favourite gig venue (as in a country or a city)? Pirate Station gigs in Russia are always rather mental – lots of pyrotechnics and naked dancing girls (true). How did you come up with the name Concord Dawn? It’s an anagram of ”can crowd nod”. What influences your music the most? Advances in technology.

See Concord Dawn, Antiform and Page 3 live at Building 202, Mt Albert Campus; Friday 31st July from 8pm. Student tickets $10 from USU Reception. 10

Your 2006 album Chaos by Design was an epic success. What plans do you have for the next one? The same again, only with more analogue. Synths seems to be the way its heading. Do you feel the pressure to live up to the expectation? Not so much. New Zealand expects something different from Europe, I guess, in terms of the sound. I’m sure I’ll make some of the people happy some of the time. What is the latest music on your iPod? Nothing for a long time. Probably the last thing would be Telefon Tel Aviv. A band yo u c a n ’t wait to collaborate with? Mmm I dunno really. Billy Corgan on the vocals would be great, as long as Tila Tequila waited outside. Any Obsessive Compulsive Disorders? Obsessive mail checker. The world would have been a better place without these three bands…. Any band with ”the” in the title, whose shtick revolves around a particular style of trousers. You will be playing Unitec’s orientation gig in July. Do you have any special plans or a special line-up of tunes? I never really plan sets out to be honest. My match fitness will be up after the pre-season in the states though.

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15/07/2009 3:37:23 p.m.

J o k e r

feature

AT I O N 2 0 0 9 COMEDY

K E RA er

Aok

J OK E R

SHOW

KER

NOTHING MELTS AWAY THE WINTER BLUES LIKE GENUINE HILARITY. AND LUCKY FOR UNITEC STUDENTS, HUMOUR IS HEADING OUR WAY IN THE FORM OF THE USU RE-ORIENTATION COMEDY SHOW. JOSEPH HARPER GOT THE SKINNY ON THE THREE COMEDIANS PERFORMING IN THE SHOW. In order to fairly represent the Unitec populace, I decided I should conduct each comedian interview thematically, based around a single study area offered at Unitec. The areas of study were chosen at random from a list offered by the Unitec website.

IRENE PINK

Irene Pink has been a permanent fixture of the New Zealand comedy scene for over a decade. Her casual performance style, sharp wits, and self-deprecating persona have made her a favourite around the country, and abroad. But Irene’s real skill lies in her ability to get an audience laughing at themselves, and feeling good about it. Irene’s study area is:Travel and Tourism. If you had been present on the Titanic, How would you have secured a spot on a life boat once the ship started sinking? By pushing the other women and children aside. Which are better, motels, hotels, caravans, or tents? Tents, because they are machine washable. You’re in a shopping mall. It’s lunch time. You’re starving.You make your way to the food court. What do you get to eat? KFC, because I like to reduce myself to a cultural stereotype.

STEVE WRIGLEY

Steve Wrigley is like a hilarious, stoned puppy, exuding an exuberant amount of energy, while maintaining a very chilled persona. He is a gifted story teller and a massively affable human being. In

2008, Wrigley won the Billy T Award. Since then his career has exploded (metaphorically)! He now makes funny on popular radio station ZM. Steve’s study area is: Natural Sciences. What is your favourite variety of flower, and why? Sunflower. It’s so majestic. And tall. And in Viva Pinata (available on XBOX 360 in most bargain bins) was my favourite flower to grow. Although when assembled in large numbers in big fields I get a kind of ”day of the triffids” like anxiety. It’s like they are looking at me. Judging me. Do you have a dog? If so, or if not, where would your dream dog walking location be? And why? I have a dog in popular XBOX 360 game Fable II that I named Heidi. My favourite place to walk Heidi is almost definitely Bowerstone South. Not only is it close to my house but Heidi just loves to rummage through the modestly sized sunflower patch near the potion shop. If you could cross breed any three animals together, to make an awesome hybrid animal which animals would you choose, and why? Can the third animal be riding a combination of the other two? If so, a hawk/hedgehog combo ridden by a tamarin monkey. He’s wearing a fedora which I know wasn’t a part of it but it’s in there anyway. As Chim Chim rides HawkeHog, their primary job would involve swooping down and using a patented hog spike attack to trim back S.F.F’s that have grown to numbers exceeding a very reasonable 63. They have a logo and team shirts and follow me

Steve Wrigley, Ben Hurley and Irene Pink will be performing live at Carrington’s; Thursday 30th July at 7pm. Student tickets $10 from USU Reception.

on twitter (@wrigglemania). Although Chim Chim’s tweets get quite self important at times.

BEN HURLEY

After winning almost every comedy award there is in New Zealand, Ben Hurley moved offshore and quickly established himself on the competitive UK comedy scene. 2008 saw Hurley score the sweet, sweet spot as opening act for Ed Byrne’s UK tour. Hurley’s laid back observations seemingly pair up with the New Zealand psyche perfectly, and he is very, very funny. Ben’s study area is: Construction and Civil Engineering. If you had access to unlimited concrete, what would you make/build, and why? We could make a really big above ground swimming pool, and fill it up with all the extra water coming from the melting ice caps. Put it in the middle of Australia, which has no water and there is two problems solved. Out of all the bridges in the world; which bridge is your favourite bridge, and why? Jon Bridges. For those of you who don’t know it, it’s sturdy and friendly and used by bicycles only. It used to have a ponytail but that was just a phase. Which is the best: Hard hat, tool belt, or bright orange, high visibility, reflector vest? I got to go with the tool belt. Wouldn’t the world be much simpler if it were socially acceptable for everyone to wear one at all times? No more purses or bags or satchels. Just the convenience of the belt with everything you need on it. And also, Batman has one.

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feature

HYPNOTIST

WESLEY UPFOLD

WHAT DO HYPNOTHERAPY, A SOUTH AFRICAN AND LADY GAGA, ALL HAVE IN COMMON? THE ANSWER IS WESLEY UPFOLD. IN UNISON CATCHES UP WITH THE HYPNOTIST PRIOR TO HIS UPCOMING SHOW AT CARRINGTON’S JULY 29 AS PART OF USU’S RE-ORIENTATION WEEK. Hypnotist Wesley Upfold started his performance career behind the decks, first the musical sort then the playing card sort.

“My dad had sound equipment and my friend had CDs so that’s what I first started doing,” he says. He became more involved in magic when his dad, who is also a magician and hypnotist, bought him his first magic trick. He continued with magic shows for awhile, and also worked as a photographer, but decided to study hypnotherapy and trained under a hypnotherapist while working on cruise ships around the Caribbean and the Mediterranean. His establishment as an entertainer hypnotist was by chance when one of the

magicians failed to turn up for a show on the cruise ship. Upfold was asked by the cruise director if he could come up with a show in two days for an audience of 1400 people, so he incorporated hypnosis in his routine which turned out to be a blast. The biggest event he’s performed at was outdoors on a beach in front of a crowd of fifty thousand people. “It was awesome, when you run out on the stage and you’ve got pyrotechnics, the crowd’s screaming, shouting, knowing that there’s a major singer coming on after you, its like, whoa just do it again.” So why see his show? Well, Upfold says, he is relatively young, which explains where his enthusiasm for Lady Gaga comes in, “I’m not like other hypnotists with long hair all dressed

Catch Wesley’s amazing hypnosis stage show live at Carrington’s; Wednesday 29th July at 7pm. Student tickets $5 from USU Reception.

up in black trying to be mysterious, if I could I would come out in pink shorts and a denim jacket; you want to be different.” With sold out shows he is often invited back to do encore performances. He attributes this success to his comedic sense and that, “the show is only as entertaining as the people who come to them…I never take the limelight.” You can expect the show to be fun, different and family-orientated, he says. “If I can’t do the show in front of my five -year-old son, then I won’t do it.” He jokingly adds “you can expect surprise appearances from a well known celebrity, and a 10 million dollar lottery winner, all under the influence of hypnosis of course,” but be warned this could be you.

2009 FRIDAY 7 AUGUST AT WAIKATO UNIVERSITY

SPORTS AVAILABLE:

Registrations close Wednesday 29th July

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9 15/07/2009 3:37:32 p.m.

P_5201/0709

Cover your mouth and nose with a tissue when you cough or sneeze Put your used tissue in a lined rubbish bin or in a plastic bag Wash and dry your hands often, especially after coughing or sneezing â&#x20AC;&#x201C; use soap or hand gel Stay away from others if youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re sick uenza

The Ministry of Health acknowledges the work of Regional Public Health, Capital & Coast District Health Board and Hutt Valley District Health Board in producing this material.

Protect your family/wha-nau from inFLUenza

Keep up to date with the latest information and advice from Unitec at www.pandemic.unitec.ac.nz.

In Unison, Scandalous Issue.indd 13

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feature

SCANDAL

OBSESSION “RUGBY PLAYERS FINED OVER NAKED BATH ROMP”; WHO WOULDN’T READ A SALACIOUS STORY LIKE THAT? SCANDALS HAVE BECOME THE NORM IN MAINSTREAM MEDIA, AND NEW ZEALAND IS NO EXCEPTION, AS STACEY KNOTT FINDS. We love to judge, to apply our own morals to other people’s situations and bask in the glory that we “would never do that.” When someone does do something so outrageous or wrong, and word gets around, we salivate over it. A scandal is just that, the vocal outrage at someone’s actions which are publicised, and that mainly means through the media. For a scandal to survive there should be multiple layers and to keep it relevant, information needs to be drawn out slowly and deliberately. It must involve sex, misuse of power, tax payer’s money and celebrities, preferably all at once, and it doesn’t all have to be true. The biggest victim of scandals, hands down would go to the King of Pop, Michael Jackson. With his recent untimely death scandal has erupted like never before. Previously he has made headlines for alleged child molestation through to buying the bones of the Elephant Man, while most can agree some of the things he did was odd, like all celebrity scandals, unless you personally know the person, it’s hard to make judgements when all you are given is headlines like “Michael Jackson wants to live with leprechauns” or “Michael Jackson can hear through his nose.” Since his death on June 26 (NZ time) magazines and papers have been speculating over him committing suicide, being murdered, whether his children are his after all, and who he was seeing before his death, amongst other things. Jackson was hounded by the media and being intensely famous at a very young age, and being in the public eye his whole life, took its toll. Jackson once told a reporter; “Why not just tell people I’m an alien from Mars. Tell them I eat live chickens and do a voodoo dance at midnight.They’ll believe anything you say, because you’re a reporter. But if I, Michael Jackson, were to say, “I’m an alien from Mars and I eat live chickens and do a voodoo dance at midnight”, people would say, “Oh, man, that Michael Jackson is nuts. He’s cracked up. You can’t believe a damn word that comes out of his mouth.” This statement does reflect the power the media has, we can say these things as a credible source, but do you really want to hear them? Not really, says Unitec communications lecturer Ed Mason. Mason believes scandals are inconsequential. “It’s an overabundance of resources focussed on the inconsequential story which often comes down to celebrity.” He says the public don’t really care about scandals; it is the media pushing them. Locally, New Zealanders have had a great scandal to gossip over recently – the alleged actions of now ex National MP Richard Worth. Last month Worth resigned as an MP because he had become the centre of a police investigation over a complaint of a sexual nature. Interest from the media and the public flared, especially when a second, unrelated complaint came out, of a similar nature.

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feature

One of those women, Neelam Choudary, said Worth had said lack in choices of media to consume. sexually explicit things through text messages and phone calls, and “Where is the non-tabloid, non-scandal and non-celebrifacation also offered her government jobs. news?” he asks. Worth rejected the claims, and rumours emerged that he hit Mason believes the values in the media matches those on the high seas on a friend’s yacht to escape the circus. talkback radio; scandal, shocking statements and attention grabbing Mason says while the Worth scandal seemed to be all about debates, nothing of educational substance. sex, that might not really be the issue at all, as is usually the case He says it is not so much the journalist’s faults, but the with scandals. corporate media model, where money is the biggest aim. “It may be constitutional and political but John Key won’t tell Lack of respect for the subject matter brings to mind the us, so what we get is a hint of sexual scandal but we don’t get any or alleged child-father, Alfie Patton, whose delicate image was sent very little commentary of the political and constitutional implications global earlier this year, when British tabloids reported the then 13of a Government minister.” year-old allegedly got his 15-year-old girlfriend pregnant, while later For this issue, Mason says the onus lies with the political DNA testing showed the baby was not Alfie’s, the fact that kids so communications people within the National Party who have young were having sex, outraged us. been so tight-lipped over But was it wrong for the the incident, which left child to be pushed to the the media and public to “...SCANDAL HAS BECOME THE NORM IN limelight to such a degree? speculate and guess. THE MEDIA. IT IS NOT JUST THE RESERVE OF Child parents is nothing new, A recent international as it was revealed it was THE TABLOIDS AND WOMEN’S MAGAZINES.” but political scandal that involved the parents of the young tax-payers’ money proved mother who cashed in on to be paper-seller. In May, British papers reported on British MPs’ the scandal, but then, if the tabloids weren’t asking for the claiming expenses for things like dredging a moat at a country house, story, it would have all gone unnoticed. hiring tax advisors, renting homes from their relatives and friends and Tony Veitch was another local celebrity who brought scandal installing a duck pond.The scandal embroiled over a dozen MPs across to his name, when it was discovered he had beaten up an exall parties, led the Speaker of the House to quit, and about 20 MPs girlfriend so bad, that he broke her back and tried to pay her off will stand-down at the next election. It seriously affected Labour’s to keep it silent. popularity. By all accounts, it was a great scandal, because new details Veitch’s wife begged the media to leave her husband alone, were leaked daily and the British public was outraged, which made saying he was suffering depression and suicidal thoughts over superb headlines, British tabloid The Sun was full of gems, such as “A the incident – it was reported he attempted suicide at least message from the little people to MPs:You disgust us”. three times. Herald business columnist Deborah Hill Cone wrote a piece in He resigned from Television New Zealand and Radio Sport June with this scandal in mind, titled Scandal Chasers Selling us Short. after the allegations were made public. She says the Herald on Sunday was gagging for its own version of Scandals are what NZ Truth paper does well. Senior reporter the British scandal, asking NZ MPs to disclose their expense claims. Jock Anderson says they often take a different angle on stories the “This story about MPs’ expenses says more about the media’s mainstream media are doing, for example, over the Tony Veitch saga, arrogance than it does about MPs’ profligacy. What riles the media Truth reported the way the court proceedings were manipulated. is that politicians have insisted the expenses remain exempt from Anderson says that was a scandal as there were alterations to Veitch’s the Official Information Act. Journalists, already feeling as useful as character references and attempts to pervert the course of justice. stamp collectors, hate being told no. Put aside all the lofty posturing Anderson believes people’s attraction to scandal is part of about transparency and public interest; journalists are simply looking human nature, “people are gossips, they love sensation and shock”, for another Tuku’s underpants-sized scoop that will sell some he says. newspapers,” she wrote. Anderson says there are classic Truth stories, like the recent She says that the more journalists pursue a scandal, the more the “randy doctor and his rural romps with a married woman”, and it is public-their readers- lose respect for their role as the fourth estate. these that the paper is probably best known for. “Journalism will become a hobby unless we can show we add He agrees with Mason over the quality of news in New real value - not just prurient entertainment.” Zealand, with the focus on scandal and celebrity becoming However, isn’t also the public’s responsibility to stop reading more prominent. scandals if they are so concerned about reporting standards? It “What you see in the news is the kind of stories like a celebrity seems like a chicken verse egg scenario, which came first, the who has an ingrown toenail, and how can they deal with that…or a people’s desire for scandal or the journalist’s willingness to write it? story on a walk-on extra on Shortland Street who is a celebrity in For example, at the time of writing this, the top viewed stories on their lunch hour, to me that is rubbish but more and more media stuff.co.nz were “Beckham’s nanny says sorry” about a nanny who see that as a cheap and easy way of trying to titillate people, but went public with confidential information about celebrity couple, by the same token you have to ask if this is so great why is the Victoria and David Beckham, and “Fountain wee woman hands circulations of most of these papers going down? herself in” – a Napier woman caught on security tape urinating in a “The public are pretty discerning at what they look for, you cathedral fountain one night. can only feed the public so much rubbish for so long, these days Mason says people do like to read about such things, there are hundred of places to get information.” but because there is a lack of choice scandal has become the He says scandalous stories like “Rugby players fined over naked norm in the media. It is not just the reserve of the tabloids and bath romp” are pretty insignificant, and people may click on them women’s magazines. just to divert their attention for a few minutes. He likens the offerings by New Zealand media to that of being “These are stories that never change the pattern of civilisation, offered Wendys, Burger King or McDonalds, when he wants real food. its light-hearted, we don’t want to be reading doom and gloom all He says there is no respect for the audience because of the the time.”

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the annual

photos

usu white party

PHOTOS BY: Sanji & Raymie MORE PHOTOS AND VIDEOS OF THESE EVENTS AT WWW.USU.CO.NZ AND ON USU TV

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gig guide

GIG GUIDE FEATURED EVENT / 31ST JULY USU PRESENTS

C O N C O R D DAW N , A N T I F O R M A N D PAG E 3 8PM, BUILDING 202, GATE 1, UNITEC MT ALBERT C AMPUS VISIT WWW.USU.CO.NZ FOR MORE DETAILS

J U LY 2 0 0 9 2WED2 USU Clubs Day Learn more about Clubs on campus. There will be stalls set up in The Hub (Bldg 180) from 11am - 2pm, so come along to see how you can get involved with what goes on Unitec outside the classroom.

2MON7 USU Table Tennis Tournament Uni Lounge, The Hub, 12pm. Test your table tennis skills in the table tennis knock-out singles tournament. Sign up at USU Reception.

THUR

USU Free Gaming Day Uni Lounge, The Hub, Mt Albert 12 – 4pm Prove you have what it takes to be the best gamer at Mt Albert! Come and play xbox 360, PS3 and heaps of games. USU Free Film Night Gold Theatre, The Hub, Mt Albert 6pm Slumdog Millionaire. This film won 8 Oscars! Come along and see what all the fuss was about - this is a fantastic movie not to be missed.

24 FRI Ladi6 & Parks, Recloose 420, K Rd. Funk, hip hop.

Kolab, Dan Paine, Dylan C Rakinos, High St. Funk, hip hop, soul.

George and Queen,Thieves, Allure City Whammy Bar. Indie, pop, rock.

Cut Off Your Hands, Collapsing Cities, Bionic Pixie Ellen Melville Hall, CBD. Indie, pop, rock.

3THUR0 USU Presents: USU Comedy Show 7pm, Carrington’s, Mt Albert. Irene Pink, Steve Wrigley and Ben Hurley. Get your tickets early as previous comedy shows have sold out! Tickets $10 from USU Reception

2WED9 2TUE8 USU Pool Comp Uni Lounge, The Hub, 12pm. Compete against the best pool players at Unitec and find out if you have what it takes to become the champion! This is an 8 Ball doubles knock-out competition so make sure you have a partner. Sign up at USU Reception.

USU Presents: Hypnotist Wesley Upfold 7pm, Carrington’s, Mt Albert. If if you are not keen to get hypnotised yourself, come along and have a laugh at your class mates as they start feeling very sleepy… Tickets $5 from USU Reception.

25 SAT

31 FRI USU Presents: Concord Dawn, Antiform and Page 3 8pm, Building 202, Gate 1, Mt Albert Campus. These Drum and Bass legends have earned fearsome reputations both nationally and internationally and won numerous awards for their unique high octane Drum and Bass sound. Student tickets $10 from USU Reception.

DO YOU HAVE AN EVENT COMING UP? Send details and images to inunison@unitec.ac.nz

UP-COMING EVENTS • Tertiary Challenge 2009 is taking place on the 7th of August at Waikato University. Registrations close on the 29th of July.

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feature

PLASTIC FANTASTIC BOOB JOBS, PENIS EXTENSIONS, NOSE JOBS OR LIPO; ELECTIVE PLASTIC SURGERY -TO ENHANCE LOOKS- IS FROWNED ON BY MANY, BUT HOW POPULAR IS IT HERE, AND WHY DO PEOPLE PUT THEMSELVES THROUGH IT? MEGHA KEHAR INVESTIGATES. Back in the mid 1990s a bunch of red bikini-clad women running around on a beach made me realise what advanced medical science can do for the human body. Till this day I’m not really sure if anyone who watched Baywatch actually ever gave a shit about all those drowning chumps, who week after week would be saved by these medically enhanced lifeguards, running up to their rescue –with wind in their hair and their augmented lady bits propelling them forward. The chumps would eventually be rescued and everything would be bouncy again. Quality television. Medical science can not only fix what’s broken but it can also takes orders for body customisation. While I am not entirely sure about how these things work, I am also probably one of those few people who do not personally know anyone who’s been customised to suit individual taste. Apparently many of us do know people who have gone under the knife to change their appearance, and this is often because of low self-esteem, something that can make people do extreme things, heaving them in the direction of the plastic surgeon’s office, reflecting the fact that society is obsessed with perfect bodies and perfect looks. Women spend hours studying themselves in the mirror. Experts say these women do not realise they are actually subconsciously looking for faults, which leads to many more hours of woeful obsession. Contrary to popular perception, men aren’t far behind either. The latest breed of rugged-turned-metrosexual-turnedrugged male is also painfully aware of his bodily attributes that he wants to change or improve. Apparently for every guy who’s thinking about breasts, there are at least five women who have got breasts on their minds. Except that they are finding imperfections and thinking how ugly they look. The breasts are always either too big or too small. It is hardly a surprise then that breast enlargement/reduction surgeries are one of the most popular forms of cosmetic alteration. According to a Guardian report, about 100,000 women in the

United Kingdom have had their breasts enlarged. They are keeping the plastic surgeons busy with more than 8,000 operations a year. What’s most alarming is the number of girls under the age of 18 opting for such procedures. While in the USA, more than two million women have had implants and trends suggest the number will grow by up to 12 per cent each year. New Zealand is just waking up to the idea as increasingly more and more women are getting their breasts augmented. According to a Massey University report about 3000 women got a boob job done in 1998. Dr Tristan de Chalain, who practices Plastic and Reconstructive Surgery at Auckland Plastic Surgical Centre, says the number has increased tremendously since then. He says it’s hard to put a number on it as no real record is maintained of it. “There are about 35 full time plastic surgeons in New Zealand and about 28 are cosmetic surgeons. There are about 14 to 15 in Auckland and there certainly is enough work to keep them busy,” he says. Chalain says each of those surgeons work on about 400 cases a year. “So if you multiply the number of surgeons with 400, that’s your ballpark figure,” he adds. Tracy Young* is about 5’9” and has a skinny frame.The 27-yearold Auckland-based masters student says she had always struggled with weight issues and one of the main reasons why she got a boob job was to feel better about herself. She says for a “reasonably attractive” person she felt there was something missing. She barely managed to fill out a 32A size bra. Post-op she is a nubile and perky size 34B. “I guess I just didn’t feel very confident. I wanted to look better and I suppose maybe even hotter,” she says. “All my life I have had people mocking me about how flat I am and that I need to grow some boobs.”

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feature

Young likens her story to that of Baywatch star Pamela Anderson Over the past few years, several cases of women who have had who has had the size of her breasts altered several times. to be rushed to hospital and operated upon immediately after their “I was once watching a documentary film about her and she saline implants ruptured have been reported all over the world. was talking about how when she was in school when a guy poured Then there are risks of breast and brain cancer because of some water over her top and said, ‘There, maybe now you will grow such surgeries. some boobs’. I thought that was awful. I didn’t want to be seen that Chalain says the implants carry a lifetime warranty. What they way,” she says. do not guarantee is how the implants will react with the body. She said it took nerves of steel to take the step. “There is a 10 to 15 percent risk of complication. But for “I wasn’t sure what the outcome was going to be. I knew right every 10 to 15 stories of a breast surgery gone wrong, there are 85 from the beginning that I didn’t want to go for the overly large and perfectly happy women,” he says. obviously fake ones. I wanted people to look at me and go ‘Ooh’. Besides cosmetic or not, any kind of surgery entails a 10-15 When I look at myself now, I know this is the way I was supposed percent risk, he adds. to look,” she says. Another problem with such surgeries is that they are not Chalain says it is easy permanent. If you get it done to be critical of women who pretty young, you could end undergo cosmetic procedures. “A LITTLE VANITY IS IMPORTANT, up needing several more in “It is really not all that VANITY IS WHAT MAKES US GET your lifetime. frivolous.Think about a woman UP IN THE MORNING AND BRUSH “It varies with individuals who has minimal breast tissue. when they will need more work She just has an ion of nipples. OUR TEETH” done. A young woman in her 20s All her life she has been teased has very different requirements about it. She doesn’t want to wear a bathing suit in public. to a woman say in her 40s. Individual choices about the kind And if she knows about this kind of a surgery, would it be of implants also matter. But yeah most women will require a wrong if she went for it and gained some self confidence?” revision or some change at some stage,” Chalain says. he asks. While breast augmentation is generally the first thing that “It is not to be scorned at. I’m not talking about the Pamela comes to mind when talking of plastic surgery, something that is the Andersons of the world. We do get frivolous cases. We do get 18preserve of email spam boxes is male enhancement procedures or year-olds and we do discourage them but then there are women penis enlargement procedures as it is casually referred to as. who’ve been breastfeeding and now want their breasts restored to None of the guys I accosted on Queen Street had had a penis their original shape,” he adds. enlargement or knew anyone who might have. It made me question A little vanity is important, he says. the veracity of such procedures. “Vanity is what makes us get up in the morning and brush our Chalain says that those emails we get in our mailboxes are teeth,” he says. certainly “money making scams” but such procedures do exist. But what do men think about artificially augmented breasts? “Penile lengthening and enlargement are not commonly I risked getting some funny looks to find an answer to that. I performed in New Zealand. walked down Queen Street asking men what they thought of fake “Most men who see me are looking for liposuction or breasts. Interestingly enough, almost everyone I talked to said they treatment of man boobs,” he says. weren’t a fan. Like women, for men it’s all about gaining some self confidence. Thirty-year-old accountant Andrew Lowe said, “It doesn’t turn “Our society judges people on the basis of appearance. Think me on. I prefer natural breasts and all parts of a woman’s body to about a middle-aged manager who has just been fired. He is now be natural. I’m obviously talking for myself and not representing all back in the market and competing with guys who have just come males here. Some guys just love big tits and wouldn’t care if they’re out of business schools, a surgery can make him look 10 years fake or real. But for me it would conjure up images of porn stars and younger,” Chalain says. that whole fake sex scenario,” he says. And like women, men too have the option to go for implants. He said he’s never felt fake boobs so he can’t really compare Inflatable implants. But don’t go for it unless you are completely what they’re like to real ones. comatose down there. This method helps men get an erection on “I would imagine they don’t feel so nice though.” demand but the problem with the surgery is that the implants can’t US tourist Steve Woodhouse thinks it’s an unnecessary waste be removed. Ever. of time and money. Nick Smith* (35yrs) says he doubts the efficacy of any such “If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it,” he says about plastic surgery methods but thinks it is definitely something he’d be interested in in general. trying out if he knew for sure if it worked. “If it’s for making life better because of abnormalities or “I think it is a waste of time. It might help you feel more confident something of that nature, I’m all about it. If it’s cosmetic in nature about yourself, but won’t actually increase your performance in the because some vain person needs to feel better about themselves, bedroom. In fact, it can apparently cause problems in that area. eh... it’s not for me. But I guess some people feel they need it,” “I don’t think the size matters but I guess some women like he says. big ones.And I think you do feel more masculine if you have a bigger He adds he would rather be with a girl who was smaller penis. I know if my penis was bigger I’d quite possibly feel more and looked natural than a girl who had larger breasts that were manly,” he says. *Names changed obviously false. “I’m probably in the minority here, but I can’t stand them.They GOT A VIEW? WANT TO COMMENT? can be so blatantly fake.” Check out In Unison online at As if low appreciation from men and high cost wasn’t www.usu.co.nz/inunison demotivating enough, associated health hazards make breast surgeries quite an unwanted risk.

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student art

STUDENT DESIGN 3.

Design

1. - 4. ANGELA SMITH Curtain Call -The Kreutzer @ The Pump House Angela Smith is a fourth year Interior Architecture student who has designed the performance space at the Pump House for the Kreutzer, recently performed at the Auckland festival 2009. The design activates the dramatic interplay between the characters, challenging boundaries and engaging the audience as voyeurs as they negotiate the historic setting. Encouraged by directives of sound and projection viewers are invited to challenge spatial conditions of depth and dimensionality.

5. - 6. MARYANN AHOLELEI Maryann Aholelei is a fourth year Painting major. Her work deals with issues of identity, based on her upbringing in New Zealand and vision from being a Tongan brought up in a society where we face different cultures every day. She uses patterns and architectual spaces to depict these two cultures and to explore the relationship space and patterns have with each other. Check out Maryann’s solo exhibition on 25 August at the student gallery STUDIO 14 on Unitec’s Mt Albert Campus. There will be food, entertainment and a live band on the night from 5.30pm

7. - 9. RUNI SCHOENHOFER Stage Set Design -Frida Kahlo: Viva la Vida Runi Schoenhofer studies Interior Design and is in her fourth year. She speaks about her practice as one that transforms her inner thoughts and desires into tangible realities. Her Mexican background is always present through her work. The Stage Set reflects the three main facets in Frida’s life: ‘Giving birth to herself ’, ‘Life as a transition point” and the “Complexity of Becoming”, reflecting an anatomical approach to rhythm and structure.

DO YOU WANT TO SEE YOUR ART IN IN UNISON? DO YOU HAVE AN EXHIBITION COMING UP THAT WE SHOULD KNOW ABOUT?

Email usugraphics@unitec.ac.nz, or call 815 4321 ex. 7928 and let us know about it.

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15/07/2009 3:38:25 p.m.

The USU Outdoors Club Presents

MURIWAI TREK Come with us to explore the amazing Muriwai Beach. Everyone is welcome so get in quick!

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Cost: $10 Includes lunch and transport

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Saturday 1st August AT

USU

OUTDOORS CLUB

USU

POOL

CLUB

USU CLUBS AND SOCIETIES WANT TO MAKE THE MOST OUT OF YOUR TIME AT UNITEC? WANT TO MEET NEW PEOPLE WHO SHARE COMMON INTERESTS?

F OOTB A L L

CLUB

USU

GAMING CLUB

USU

Village

Club

JOIN A CLUB TODAY!

USU

In Unison, Scandalous Issue.indd 21

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Club AT

WWW.USU.CO.NZ/SPORTS-AND-CLUBS

15/07/2009 3:38:26 p.m.

the usu

comedy show A

J OK E R

J o k e r

J OK E R

r e k o J

A A

J OK E

Steve Wrigley Ben Hurley Irene Pink T H U R S D AY 3 0 J U LY - 7 P M CARRINGTON’S $10 U SU M E M B E R S ( U NIT EC S T U D E N T S )

BUILDING 33

UNITEC

$20 N ON - ME MBE RS ( E VE RYON E E L SE )

MT ALBERT

$20 DOOR SALES ( IF AVA IL ABLE)

TICKETS FROM USU RECEPTION (BLDG 180 - THE HUB) | R18 (ID REQUIRED)

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WWW.USU.CO.NZ

In Unison, Scandalous Issue.indd 22

R18 15/07/2009 3:38:33 p.m.

column

Whakarongo Mai WITH THE JOSEPH News-Bot WITH HARPER NEWS ROUND UP

REAL CHILL.

Corduroy

How’s it going, my little corn puffs? I had a great time over the break and my tender robo parts, which were starting to get a bit clanky, got much deserved TLC. I blame the wear and tear on my tireless and efficient reporting of matters to the citizens of New Zealand. Matters of prime importance. Matters that raise awareness. Matters that involve celebrities and their private lives and deaths. The world stood in disbelief as the news of Michael Jackson’s death spread across news networks. I was heartbroken. I almost didn’t believe it when I got a text from a mate saying “hey brooo michael jackson is ded”. My instantaneous response was, “Yeah right and Falklands Island is a real place”. But I realised later how painfully true that text was and that Falklands Island does actually exist! Who knew! The media blitzkrieg over the death overshadowed everything else though. I mean who else knew that last week was also the moon landing anniversary? The David Bain trial seems to have some sort of Hollywoodinspired anti-climax. After ages of trial proceedings, he was finally acquitted in June of killing his parents and three siblings. He had spent 13 years in prison after his first trial in 2005. Even though it’s all over now, there is something inherently and deeply controversial about it.What bugs me the most though is that at $476,000 it is one of the most expensive trials in New Zealand history. Passengers abroad a Great Barrier Airlines plane experienced some terrorising action when a propeller popped out of its gigantic socket-like thing and smashed a window and battered a door. And all this happened mid-air! Even though I’m a big sucker for adventure and deep down really wish I was on the Titanic, I’m glad I wasn’t on this flight of horror. It’s the utter lack of control that gets to me. What could I have done? Wished that the clouds turned into floating dense masses of candy floss? There is some bad news for spewing, wild students in Otago. After a 2000-strong students’ toga parade rampage earlier this year, Otago University has decided to crack the whip on out-ofcontrol students. The parade resulted in pools of vomit and faeces everywhere and several car and shop windows being egged. Quality work, you students or reckless aliens in disguise. In its welcome back letter, the University vice chancellor has warned students to take responsibility for their actions or have their degrees “trashed”. Recently our own National MP Richard Worth was made to resign following serious sexual allegations from an Aucklandbased Korean businesswoman. He allegedly even sent lewd texts to another Auckland-based Indian woman, which she absent-mindedly managed to delete.The woman claimed that on one of the texts, Dr Worth gave her shopping tips regarding where to buy see-through garments in India. How despicably arrogant! Does Dr Worth think he knows India better than an Indian? No, but seriously. Has anyone actually seen Dr Worth? I mean he comes across the sort of guy who’s likelier to invite you over for afternoon tea to tell you interesting stories about the war than try to empty his sack on you.

I cannot think of anything scandalous. I like winter a lot more than I like summer. Does that count? Most people don’t enjoy being cold. Call me a masochist, but I dig it. Runny, red noses aside, winter really does it for me. There is no pleasure greater than walking past crunchy white grass, hands firmly in pockets, neck melting into a scarf, maybe even a hat, preferably with ear flaps (fully Holden Caulfieldchic), visible breath, absolutely freezing. I love to shiver. Not because I enjoy it, but because the feeling of arriving home and drowning in blankets and hot chocolate is nothing short of earth-shatteringly good. I imagine this is the reason that smokers smoke- smoking is not enjoyable, but filling your desperate lungs probably is. Being cold is my favourite itch. There is another reason I love winter- a slightly more fetishfuelled one. I have a friend named Matthew. He once told me, “summer is great because girls wear short skirts and less clothing in general.” This sentiment is fine and dandy, but it’s not mine. I feel that winter is great because boys wear more corduroy. Is it strange to have a favourite fabric? Corduroy is dreamy. I own more pairs of brown corduroy trousers than a sixty-five year old Korean man. Winter is made for corduroy. Those tightly woven fibres are toasty. Better still, Wikipedia tells me that corduroy is considered “business casual”. Ditch those regular casual style items such as jackets and track pants. Book a seat on the corduroy revolution, and allow me to watch those ridges. I’m off course. Winter. Eating is lovely in winter. You can fatten up like a walrus, but in an acceptable way. An extra layer of blubber is wiser than an electric blanket/fan heater in these trying economic times. Plus as long as you’re wearing a scarf, nobody’s going to notice those goosy jowls. We’ve had frosts recently, proper ones too, genuine Christchurch style frosts. It made me feel a bit sad. I get homesick during winter. This is the time of year that the South Island really shines. Swandris and snow, black ice on footpaths. Fireplaces steadily, and justifiably, contributing to an already outrageous smog problem. I yearn for Canterbury, a little bit. Enough nostalgia. Auckland column, Auckland issues. Being a student doesn’t usually go hand-in-hand with cosiness. Flats are rad; but they tend to be poorly insulated, and they tend to let in the cold. Hot water bottles are helpful. I had one. I received it from my Nana when I was a lad. It came complete with a woollen cover. I was using it to warm my toes last week but it broke during the night. I awoke with wet feet and sheets. Word of warning: people will not believe that your hottie is leaky. The idea that you wet the bed is far more believable.

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In Unison, Scandalous Issue.indd 23

15/07/2009 3:38:39 p.m.

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In Unison, Scandalous Issue.indd 24

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15/07/2009 3:38:39 p.m.

GANDER AT SPORT

TWENTY-TWENTY, IT’S JUST NOT CRICKET

T-20

Dear

BARBIE

Dear Barbie, There’s this weirdo in my class who wrote me a really creepy poem. It went like this: Roses are red, but I am smitten You make me blush like a spring kitten When you gave me your pen, I was dumbstruck I think I want you… Please don’t think I’m a dumbfuck. And just today he approached me and said he was the one who sent me the poem. He bought me some flowers, looked down my top and said he wanted to get inside my pants. THEN he started breathing very heavily before spewing all over the floor. Please help meeeee!!! x_x I think this guy is a loser. Thanx Barbie, -Hot Chick. This sounds vaguely familiar, if only I didn’t take so many of my valium this morning, maybe I could piece it together. Either way, poems that rhyme are way gross and too cheesy, so for that alone you can think he is a dumbfuck. However, at least he had the balls to say what he was really after. Are you sure it wasn’t you that made him spew on the floor? Are you really that hot? I mean, if someone spews after talking to you, it’s easy to assume you’re not the looker you claim to be. So, if you’re so unattractive you make people vomit, whereas this guy gives you flowers, writes you lame poetry but also wants to sleep with you, what’s the big deal? Maybe you should lower those standards. Xx Barbie

xox

T20, twenty-twenty, hit and giggle, hell we’ve even had a even-seven match in the recent T20 World Cricket Cup in England, when New Zealand’s Black Caps beat Scotland following a rain delay. I may be preaching to the un-initiated here, but 14 overs, does not, in my eyes constitute a game of cricket, this is getting ridiculous. This newer, shorter version of the great game of cricket is purely indulging those people who have the attention span of a goldfish. If you don’t know the attention span of a goldfish, it is in fact 3 seconds, as they swim around their bowl going, “Where am I? I’m in my bowl. Where am I? I’m in my bowl. Where am I? I’m in my bowl.” You get the picture. Anyway, for those like me that are purists of the game, I wouldn’t cross the road to see a game of T20 as it is a bastardised version made for television. T20 is to cricket, what Rugby 7s is to rugby, a faster, shorter version of the game crammed into what is essentially a highlights package of the full game, just getting rid of all the so-called “boring bits”. Let me tell you there are no “boring bits”, in a 5-day test, only slower passages of the game. You get to see great batsmen build a long, high-scoring innings, such as that produced by Jesse Ryder in his 200 against India in Napier and West Indian Chris Gayle falling for 197 on the same ground earlier in the summer. You also get to see bowlers working to a plan to try and dismiss a batsman, not just running in and hoping like hell he doesn’t get smashed for 6. The beauty of a classic cover drive in a test match is replaced by the slog sweep shot over mid wicket employed by many playing T20, it’s not nice to watch. I go back to the NZ vs. Scotland game where each side slogged their way through 7 overs each to find a winner. I was disgusted to hear talkback callers the next day saying, yes it was only 14 overs, but none of the batsmen slogged, they all played proper cricket shots. What a load of bollocks. All the Scots just swung their bat and hoped for the best, while of the Kiwis, only Jesse Ryder played 2 proper cricket shots, the rest were all slogs. Hey, if you like the hit and giggle - all respect to you, but it could end up destroying the great game of cricket and that sentiment has been echoed by many of the games’ great players. I’m just an opponent of the hit and giggle and until cricket’s authorities put it in its rightful place like rugby has done to 7s, they’ll never get my dollar at the gate to watch it.

dear barbie

The Goose’s

Hi Barbie, I am a 1st year nursing student and there is a guy in the degree programme that I like, what should I do? Anonoyomous Dear Anonoyomous, Start practising your self-defence moves. Barbie

Hi Barbie, I am a first year nursing student and there is a creepy girl in my degree programme who won’t leave me alone. Should I give her the bash or is that not ok in Waitakere? Anon Dear Anon, No, giving “the bash” is most uncouth. Unwanted attention is something I have had to deal with all my life, so I feel your pain. I used to beat up guys who kept asking me out and giving me shitty gifts, but it got tiring, what is more fun, is getting a boyfriend to do it for you. So, depending on your sexual preference, you need to get a boyfriend or girlfriend you do like, and get him/her to get rid of this creepy girl. Barbie

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In Unison, Scandalous Issue.indd 25

15/07/2009 3:38:41 p.m.

feature

VSMVSCSM USU WTF? EACH YEAR, ABOUT $100 IS TACKED ONTO YOUR UNITEC FEES AND YOU AUTOMATICALLY BECOME A MEMBER OF THE STUDENTS’ ASSOCIATION AT UNITEC - THE USU. YOU MAY NOT EVEN NOTICE THIS EXTRA LINE ON YOUR INVOICE, IT PROBABLY JUST ADDS ONTO YOUR STUDENT LOAN, BUT IS THIS FAIR? AND WHAT ARE YOU GETTING FOR THIS YEARLY FEE? STACEY KNOTT AND JOSEPH HARPER INVESTIGATE WHY YOU HAVE TO PAY THIS FEE, AND WHAT THE ALTERNATIVES ARE IF YOU DON’T WANT TO.

WHAT IT IS Compulsory Student Membership (CSM), which the USU employ, means that you automatically join the student association when you enrol to study. If you are fulltime, $103 was charged to your fees this year which funds the USU services like this magazine, parties, sausage sizzles, sports teams, clubs, advocacy and education services. Voluntary Student Membership (VSM) means you have the choice to join or not. Under VSM, fees are only paid by those who want to and so the limited money usually means the association has to be totally accountable and financially transparent.

BACKGROUND When National was last in power, it made big changes as to how student associations operate. Up until 1998, all student unions in New Zealand universities and polytechnics were compulsory to join; start a course, and you are a member of the institutions’ student union. But, in 1998 National introduced and passed the Voluntary Students’ Association Membership Bill which forced all existing compulsory associations to hold a legally binding referendum – students could vote as to whether they would be forced to keep paying the membership fees. The USU, your student association was made voluntary for eight years because of this. Within that time, it held three referendums to try and get membership back to compulsory. When it was voluntary between 1999-2004 membership varied between 300 and 1200 per year, in 2005 was about 3500 members, and 2006 had 5500 students. In 2007 CSM was voted back in, since then the USU has had about 16,000 students a year. However, if students do not want to be part of the USU they can object, but their fee will go to a charity of their choice, or they can apply for exemption from the USU membership fee on the grounds of hardship and remain members. Under VSM, students did not have to pay a fee, because Unitec

contracted the USU to provide various services. Since then, the fee has increased, it was $35 in 2007, $99 in 2008 and this year it is $103. Now, National is back in power and has ACT whispering desires into its ears, which is problematic for student associations, because it is possible that there is going to be another referendum to go back to the Voluntary Students Association Membership Act.

FOR VSM ACT MP and Associate Minister of Education, Heather Roy is strongly opposed to compulsory student membership. She says students must be given a choice if they want to be in the USU or not. In 2006, she had a private members’ Bill in the ballot box, called the Education (Freedom of Association) Amendment Bill which aimed to “uphold students’ right to freedom of association, by ensuring that no student is compelled to join a students’ association.” Roy says the fact that it is compulsory for Unitec students to join the USU breaches Section 17 of the New Zealand Bill of Rights Act 1990, which guarantees the right to freedom of association. She says her Bill did not seek to damage or limit student associations, but to guarantee the rights of students to freedom of association, and if it was accepted, it would have resulted in student associations being truly representative of the students who voluntarily join them. Roy notes that in the workplace no one is forced to join a union, and asks why students are forced to pay a fee for something they may not want to participate in. She is “very concerned” about the way student associations spend their money “by a few, for a few when this money is meant to be used to benefit a large number of students.” Given students are usually broke and struggling, she says they should be given a choice as to what they do with the $103 the USU tack onto their student fees, something that is even more poignant

In Unison, Scandalous Issue.indd 26

15/07/2009 3:38:45 p.m.

FOR CSM USU student president Greg Powell thinks CSM is the better option for all. “The more students’ involved in the USU the more influence they have with Unitec. Before CSM they had next to no positions on academic committees or authority. Students had very little influence on how Unitec spent their fees with no representation on (the) Unitec Finance Committee and I guess we have to say things have changed,” he says. He refutes Roy’s argument that CSM is anti-human rights; he says it was the student’s choice to go CSM. He says if the USU went back to VSM, there will be no guarantees whether students would be properly engaged with over restructures and changes to Unitec.“They would have less access to Unitec committees or information and would more or less be in the dark.” He believes there will be no way to communicate to students on mass about services and ideas, something that is important to the USU, and is a way for it to improve on its services. Powell also states that if the USU was turned voluntary, its income would fall which would reduce its services. He recalls when in 2006, under VSM 35 people turned up to orientation whereas there were 8,000 earlier this year at Sounds in the Sun. Also under VSM he says there was no sport, family days or academic representation and only a 12-page monthly version of In Unison. Under VSM, Powell predicts the association would either die or get into a compromising position with a funding agreement with Unitec. “If that remains their only funding source then it becomes difficult to defend the independence and credibility of a students’ association.” Being under the thumb of an institution by going voluntary would mean no influence on fee setting, he adds. “One of the ironies with the Auckland Uni is that students thought by voting for voluntary membership they were getting out of paying fees when really they were giving away the only way they

had to control them.The student services fee at Auckland shot up to well over $300 per student and students have no say over what level fees are set or where the money is spent because the organisation that controls the money is not controlled by students.” As Powell mentioned, the Auckland University Student Association (AUSA) operates under VSM. In Unison spoke with AUSA student president Darcy Peacock about the difficulties of voluntary membership. “AUSA has been severely limited by VSM in terms of the levels of support and funding available to promote student events on campus. It is difficult to remain reactive to student issues or administer student property and student clubs without sufficient funding. Student affairs should be driven by the students’ association, not the university. AUSA is limited by internal policy in its approach to VSM/CSM referenda, but there is always concern with the effects of VSM on our campus,” he says. Though CSM may seem to be a form of forced unionism; Peacock notes that in reality, the choice to implement a CSM policy can only be made by students. “Auckland University students lost narrowly to VSM, introduced by less than 100 votes. (Because of this) AUSA has been financially limited for 10 years and unable to create substantive new services.”

feature

in today’s economic climate. “Students have never been well off. They have always had to borrow money to undertake their training and they should be in a position to determine, in a discretionally sense, where that money is being spent. If you enrol in a course you clearly have to pay fees for that course but you get something for it, the student fee is being paid by tens of thousands of students around the country and many of them are seeing absolutely no value or getting nothing for handing that fee over.” If students were given the choice to join a student association, there would be better value for money, she says. She says student’s fees are being spent of “frivolous things” that not all students can utilize. “Most tertiary institutions subsidise quite heavily the sports and cultural clubs and many don’t participate in them at all and yet they are forced to make a contribution towards those.” If people see a value for something then they are usually prepared to pay for it if it’s important to students, as opposed to spending that money in some other way.” The argument that VSM would erode student associations, and so student culture on campus is irrelevant, Roy says. “I don’t think you can say Auckland University (which is VSM) has any less of a culture surrounding it than any other university or tertiary provider, in many ways I think the cultural aspect is largely academic.” Roy is planning on talking to National Party Education Minister Anne Tolley in the near future about her concerns with CSM.

STUDENT OPINION In Unison prowled Unitec’s Mount Albert and Waitakere campuses asking students about the CSM versus VSM issue, and also to try and gauge student opinion on the state and performance of the USU. Only about half of the students surveyed felt well represented by the USU, and many say they didn’t utilise a lot of the services offered by the USU. Despite this, 15 of the 25 surveyed say they would still join if a voluntary membership system was put into place. Of the 25 Unitec students interviewed, only five were aware of the membership fee they paid automatically in order to become a member of the USU. On top of this, of the five who were aware of the fee, only two students knew the amount they paid to be a member. In contrast, all but five students surveyed thought that the CSM system was fair. First year graphic design student Tim Toddle was one of many of the opinion that CSM is convenient and the best system for Unitec and the USU, “It’s kinda gotta be that way. I mean, otherwise there wouldn’t be enough people to pay for all the stuff that happens.” Product design student, Christina Martin, echoed his sentiment, in spite of the fact that she doesn’t utilise many of the services offered by the USU. “I haven’t had to (use the services). But it’s really good to know they’re there if I do.” She also felt the compulsory scheme made the decision easier for students, “I think it’s easier because it’s like I don’t even pay that money. It just goes onto the student loan. And what’s another hundred dollars in the greater scheme of things? Maybe if I had to just hand over the cash, I’d think more about what I’m getting out of it.” The USU and Unitec have just undertaken a student satisfaction survey, to gauge how they are doing overall. In Unison will report these findings when they are made available. With National back in the driving seat, a referendum could be possible in the future, if this is so, you will be asked to vote whether you want the USU to be compulsory or voluntary. If you’re unhappy with the way it is being run now, the decision is yours to do something about it; you can petition for voluntary or run for the exec yourself.You can tell the exec what you want them to change, or write a letter to In Unison.You are the majority shareholders in the USU, it’s your bed to make and yours to lie in - you will be most affected by any change.

In Unison, Scandalous Issue.indd 27

15/07/2009 3:38:50 p.m.

reviews

TERMINATOR SALVATION Director: McG

LAND OF THE LOST Director: Brad Silberling

FILM

Views

Terminator Salvation is without doubt, the worst movie I have seen this year. It is simply dreadful. Directed by McG (so annoying), it is obvious from the start that the film is the work of someone who got their start in music videos and advertising. The film is as flashy and shiny as the evil robots within it, but there is no substance here, which leads to an incredibly unsatisfying viewing. To make matters worse, most of the flash and shine is rubbish as well. The CGI is awful. If you’re aiming to achieve catharsis by way of special effects and loud noises, you have to make the effects and noises impressive. I found myself laughing at the film. It feels like one of those terrible, Scary Movie type parody films. It’s like a patchwork pastiche of other (better) science fiction films. There’s the Matrix style resistance, fighting robots that move like Star Wars droids, in a world which looks like that of Mad Max or some dreadful Kevin Costner epic. The ships all sound like pod racers. The action sequences are filmed in long handheld tracking shots like those in Children of Men. I could go on, but ultimately, my point is that there is no original thought in this film. The performances...well...I guess it would help if the actors were portraying multi-dimensional characters with even a smidgeon of depth. Unfortunately they’re not. And it shows. Even the enormously talented Christian Bale wallows in a pool of catchphrases, and overly intense dialogue/looks. Sam Worthington does slightly better. He’s not entirely awful, though his accent is, and it switches between American, Australian, and English throughout. There is no salvation. The film is dreadful from start to finish. Reviewed by Joseph Harper

Director Brad Silberling probably had a very niche audience in mind when he made the Land of the Lost – schizophrenic timetravel enthusiasts. The movie, which takes its inspiration in part from a 1970s science-fiction show by the same name, can’t decide if it wants to be a movie about aliens or dinosaurs, so it ends up being a movie about both, with the addition of all kinds of pre-pubescent jokes to cement over the glaring gaps. Will Ferrell plays Dr Rick Marshall, a disgraced, unmotivated yet cocky scientist who understands the nitty-gritties of everything – right from dinosaur poo to quantum mechanics concerning time travel. After hot Cambridge University drop-out Holly Cantrell (played by Anna Friel) pushes him to get off his lazy arse, Marshall decides to restart work on his “tachyon amplifier”- a time-travel device. But, it is not your ordinary run-of-the-mill time-travel device; it does not go forwards or backwards. It travels sideways, so with its help, Marshall and Holly, along with country bumpkin Will Stanton (Danny McBride), find themselves transported to a parallel universe, where the past, the present and the future co-exist. What ensues is a series of slapstick jokes and random misadventures sewn together as they explore this strange new land. In the process they lose the tachyon amplifier so must find a way back home. Little do they know they will be entrusted with the task of saving the world from the hands of an evil tunic-sporting alien and run into a monkey boy called Cha-ka who can’t stop groping Holly’s breasts and finds a strange obsession for a certain part of Marshall’s anatomy. The movie apparently cost a $100 million to make, which is hard to believe with the embarrassing green aliens looking like they’re wearing something straight out of a Costumes-4-Cheap shop. The saving grace though is the animated Tyrannosaurus Rex who violently chases Marshall throughout the length of the movie. If you’ve just had a hard week doing analytical type stuff and would not mind some brainless entertainment that does not involve a lot of thinking, the Land of the Lost may actually just work. Reviewed by Megha Kehar

THANKS TO:

for more info on movies showing now and coming soon visit www.skycitycinemas.co.nz

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In Unison, Scandalous Issue.indd 28

15/07/2009 3:38:51 p.m.

reviews

PRIMARY COLOURS JAMOA JAM The Horrors / Beggars XL

MUSIC

Reviewed by Joseph Harper

MUSIC Jamoa Jam first featured on the New Zealand music scene after performing on the 1996 TVNZ programme Showcase. Since then they have released four albums and produced some of New Zealand’s finest pacific music. The launch of their CD, Reprise, at the King’s Arms was an evening filled with anxiety, with no one really knowing what to expect. Upcoming artist Grace opened the show and blew the crowd away with her unreleased single, Whispers. Then special guest and former Jamoa Jam member Lupi Mariner warmed the audience with his rendition of Stevie Wonder’s, My Cherie Amour. Then the stars of the evening, the all male quartet, engaged the crowd with Old Skool Melody with matching dance moves. They then proceeded through a series of songs that paid homage to the Pacific Island communities before concluding the first set with the subtle harmonies of Talofa Ia Oe, a Samoan love song. During the short break, Hip-hop dance crew Sweet n Sour ripped up the stage with an acrobatic explosive performance, allowing Jamoa Jam to finish the evening with songs showcasing their vocal abilities. It was an exhilarating night filled with humour and extravagant performances that Jamoa Jam has come to be renowned for. The CD itself is very much what you would expect from the group, no changes or differences to the music or sound. However if you are not familiar with their music you may find it hard to come accustomed to their style or even understand it, as some songs are in Samoan. This said, the gospel soul-enriched music heavily influenced by the traditional pacific beats continues to be popular amongst the wider Pacific communities and seems to be growing to a wider demographic judging by the crowd at the show. The CD is a great listen. The album was produced in Brisbane under the direction of Tui Award winner, Sam Tu’unga. Jamoa Jam will continue promoting their tour around New Zealand with group members Mark Tautai, Fred Lemalu, Mike Pau, and Iri Aumatangi.

Views

You see pictures of a band like The Horrors, and you make assumptions. Clearly, they are massively image conscious; they make no attempt to hide their plans and influences. There’s something about a band that obviously spends a lot of time creating their aesthetic that makes one assume they’re going to be shit. “Too much style, how can there be any substance?” I thought as I gazed at this band of dead looking teddy boys/ Robert Smiths. The band’s début, Strange House, proved me right. Uninspired gothic garage, the lot of it. Because of this, the band’s latest effort, Primary Colours, was made all the sweeter. Primary Colours is very pleasant. Vocalist Faris Badwan’s baritone cry bursts through dense and luxuriously textured krautrockish soundscapes, and seems to nestle itself comfortably in the band’s sound. The guitars chime a bit, with minimalist baselines beeping along, and synthesisers providing the underlay. The organ work is what is the most impressive though. Its lines stab and jaunt through the music in sharp juxtaposition to the backing, while still managing to sound at home. Comparisons are obvious.There’s some My Bloody Valentine here, a bit of Jesus and Mary Chain, and plenty of Joy Division. But Primary Colours has an individual charm, in that the songs have a certain anthem quality to them. I don’t think it’s out of the question to imagine mainstream radio smashes coming from the album. I can’t imagine what spurred the evolution in The Horror’s sound, perhaps something to do with the album’s pedigree – it is produced by Portishead’s Geoff Barrow and ultra-hip music video director, Chris Cunningham. The album’s latest single’s video was directed by a former Jesus and the Mary Chain bassist. Congratulations for proving wrong the masses who giggled at your use of hairspray and mascara. Good show lads.

Reprise / Ode

Reviewed by NMA

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In Unison, Scandalous Issue.indd 29

15/07/2009 3:38:53 p.m.

BAND PROFILE: THE NOMADIC SNAILS

Helen Bowen is a third year Bachelor of Landscape student, she recently entered the Ellerslie International Flower Show in the Tertiary Design Competition and beat out 30 other landscape design students to get the Supreme Gold for her Urban Reflection garden. Joseph Harpers talks to her about sophisticated gardening.

The Nomadic Snails are an Auckland band who like to indulge in alternative tunes, the band is made up of a set of twins and two brothers, with Leighton Edwards on vocals and guitar, Jared Edwards on drums, vox, and keys, Liam Timlin on bass and Sean Timlin on guitars and keys. Stacey Knott catches up with Jared.

Why do you think your design took top honours? Perhaps I won because my design fulfilled the brief. I thought long and hard about the ideas that went into my design and my garden offers a range of different experiences, through the use of different materials, restful sounds such as the rustling wind through the bamboo and water trickling through the rill. Although it is a small space the garden is designed for strolling, sitting and viewing. I think the overall effect is modern and sophisticated.

How did you come up with the wacky name, and what does it mean? It was a few years ago now, we were tossing around a rugby ball on a school field, suggesting a possible name with each pass. It came up. There has always been some confusion as to who suggested the winning name, always sparking great debate amongst us. In terms of meaning, well obviously Snails carry their homes on their backs, does this make them nomadic or are they in fact always home? It makes you think. Or does it?

Watch out

profiles

GRAD PROFILE: HELEN BOWEN

What sort of things go through your head when you’re designing? I want to design spaces that meet the brief and the client’s expectations and then go far beyond them.The final design needs to feel like the only design for that particular space and those particular clients. My aim is to design functional spaces that people will love. Can you tell me a bit about your experience in the Ellerslie Flower Show? I entered the competition because I felt the design brief offered an intriguing garden design challenge. I had to construct a complete scale model of the garden space, draw a plan, perspective and elevation and provide a detailed design statement. So what did you design? The brief for the design was to design a courtyard garden for a couple in their 50s who are down-sizing to an inner city town house. The couple are slightly eccentric and like the idea of using traditional landscape design materials in a unique way.We were asked to design a small 10 x 10m courtyard garden using “Kiwi Ingenuity”. I wanted to design a garden that gave the impression of being larger than it really is. I wanted to create strong indoor/outdoor links and to create a design that was truly unique. The title of my garden is “Urban Reflection” because it is a peaceful haven and a place for relaxing and reflecting on life and because I have used many reflective surfaces to create the illusion of space. An interesting feature is the bi-fold sliding screens that can be adjusted to create garden rooms or to completely open the garden to the back fence. I think this feature together with the gazing globes at different levels made my design stand out. It is a sleek, low maintenance, linear design with rows of vegetation that increase in height so that the eye is drawn through the courtyard.

You are all related to varying degrees, how does this work? Indeed, we are made up of a set of twins and a set of brothers. It works for us, we seem to have an ease of understanding when we are playing. I won’t say the music flows through us, but it trickles a bit easier. We are on the same page. Negatives, well I think we are a bit more relaxed when it comes to getting to practice on time and so on – ‘what’s the worst that could happen’ type of thing. How would you describe your style? I could float out a few styles that we touch on – alternative, rock, pop, blues, alt-country – of course that doesn’t narrow it down much. Check us out at a gig, or listen to us on Facebook or MySpace and make up your own mind (shameless plug). What have been the Nomadic Snails highlights and lowlights? Playing live is always a highlight, as is recording new tunes.That’s why you do it.There is a lot of music out there, and if someone chooses to spend some of their time listening to us, that’s a great privilege. Lowlights have to be the Oasis style feuds that are inevitable when it comes to a group working in a creative space.Thankfully we are yet to have one on stage, but yeah, the studio can be a different story. What really pisses you off? Arrogance and pretentious folk, unfortunately these are two things that will always be present in the world of music. If you could collaborate with anyone, alive or dead, who would you chose? We are all going to cast one vote here, as a consensus is very unlikely. Votes are as follows; Ryan Adams, Eddie Vedder, Noel Gallagher, John Lennon (two additional wild cards – Jeff Tweedy and Robert Smith).

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Life Lessons

LEARNED THROUGH BAKING

LIFE LESSON # 6 – EXPERIMENT A LITTLE! I was approached by a friend to make some chocolate-raspberry truffles a few weeks ago. I had never made any, but I knew that chocolate truffles were just a basic chocolate ganache. So from there I worked with a few versions, until I found one that had a nice raspberry flavour. Experimenting is all part of the culinary process, but it goes beyond that. To try something, even if it’s a disaster the first few times, is part of growing and broadening your horizons. So have a go experimenting with these little delights. Who knows what you’ll come up with!

CHOCOLATE-RASPBERRY TRUFFLES Raspberry Puree: • 2 tablespoons Framboise Liqueur (optional) • 2 tablespoons water • ½ cup of raspberries Chocolate Truffles: • 227 grams semisweet or bittersweet chocolate, cut up • 3/4 cup (180 ml) heavy whipping cream • 2 1/2 tablespoons (28 grams) unsalted butter Coatings for Truffles: Cocoa powder, Desiccated coconut and Chopped nuts 1. For Puree: Place water, liqueur (if using), and raspberries in a small saucepan. Let the mixture simmer and reduce until thick, about 30 minutes. Strain the puree so that there are no raspberry seeds. Set aside. 2. For Truffles: Place the chopped chocolate in a medium sized stainless steel bowl. Set aside. Heat the cream and butter in a small saucepan over medium heat. Bring to a boil. Immediately pour the boiling cream over the chocolate and allow to stand for 5 minutes. Stir with a whisk until smooth. Next, add the puree. Cover and place in the refrigerator until the truffle mixture is firm (this will take several hours or overnight). 3. Place your coatings for the truffles on a plate. Remove the truffle mixture from the refrigerator. With your hands (or small spoon) form the chocolate into round or mis-shaped bite-sized balls. Immediately roll the truffle in the coating and place on a tray lined with baking paper. Cover and place in the refrigerator until firm. Truffles can be refrigerated for a couple of weeks or else frozen for a couple of months. Bring to room temperature before serving. Makes 30 small truffles.

Home Comforts WITH SUSANNAH AITKEN

Hi. I’m Susannah. I like to surprise myself with eggs.

Yum Yum

With anything in life you can learn lessons – so why not when baking and eating wonderful treats?! You can think of baking as intensive therapy and personal growth, all of your friends and flatmates will love you for it!

recipes

STEPHANIE MCCOLL’S

Coddled eggs are my new favourite breakfast (and occasionally dinner, when I really don’t want to spend much time in the kitchen and there’s nothing in my freezer). They are basically a delicious cross between soft-boiled and poached eggs.

CODDLED EGGS

Ingredients : • 2 eggs per person • Salt and Pepper • Toast • Spinich, pesto or fresh herbs (optional)

1. Break your egg into a little dish or a tea cup or whatever you want to eat it out of, sit it in a small pot that has about an inch of water in the bottom, season lightly with salt and pepper and cook, covered, over a low/medium heat until the white is set but the yolk is still all delicious and runny. 2.The sealed pot will trap the rising steam and cook the egg gently. It’s easier to check as it cooks than a boiled or poached egg, so you can cook it until it’s exactly as runny or as firm as you like. This should take between 5 and 7 minutes, so keep an eye on it after 5! 3. Once the egg is cooked to your liking, devour it immediately with toast fingers. The thing that really sets coddled eggs apart from ordinary ol’ boiled or poached eggs is that you can hide delicious surprises in the base of the dish you cook them in (or sprinkle over the top). My current favourite is to eat them with a generous layer of freshly chopped herbs (parsley, thyme and basil are all good) sprinkled over them when they come out of the pot. This can be especially good if you hide a little cooked fresh spinach in the base of the dish before cooking (sort of like an all-in-one eggs Florentine). Hiding herb or tomato pesto in the base of the dish is also good, as is cheese, red onion, a spicy tomato sauce or chutney… just about anything you could think of is probably worth trying, although there’s nothing wrong with keeping it simple either. A plain egg with buttered toast fingers (maybe spread with a thin layer of vegemite) is damn near unbeatable as far as breakfasts go.

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15/07/2009 3:39:26 p.m.

2009 FRIDAY 7 AUGUST AT WAIKATO UNIVERSITY

SPORTS AVAILABLE: FOOTBALL

ROWING Registrations close Wednesday 29th July

ITE

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9 15/07/2009 3:39:27 p.m.