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TALK
PE O PLE
QUESTIONS TO ASK YOUR PARTNER TO YOUR RELATIONSHIP
Is it really possible for your marriage to get better and better? Absolutely – & these questions here will help you gain some insight into the steps you can take right now. Sometimes I wish I had a magic wand in my office drawer as I so often get asked this in my couples counselling is – ‘How can we make our relationship even better?’ We live in a society that expects quick fixes, there is an urgency to have everything right now on a plate, and we want to shed layers of emotional baggage in one afternoon. We’d much rather cut corners than put in any hard work. That’s where the secret lies…work; relationships are work, there are NO short cuts, there are no half measures, there are no quick fixes – we have to dive in their hook, line and sinker. Ian and I have been married for almost 30 years, we’re in for the long haul, and have just returned from an amazing little breakaway and I hear these words, ‘I think we’ve just hit a new level in our relationship, life really does get better’. Where did that spring from, I ask myself? That is what happens when you dive that much deeper into your relationship. Once you’ve healed your own emotional wounds so you feel whole and complete you can start to fill each other’s emotional love tanks allowing you to speak the love language that your partner responds to – you’ll both be feeling emotionally loved at a much deeper level. So let’s look at some questions you can ask each other, as you crave that need to go deeper into the relationship –
What do you find most difficult to put into words and how can I help you with this? This is a very powerful question as you are asking what makes your partner feel vulnerable. Showing your vulnerability tells your partner it’s okay to do this and can lead your relationship to a much deeper place. Perhaps it’s about sex, the relatives, being on your phone, not supporting him when in company or feeling inadequate in some area – we all have our own triggers for this. Taking through this and sharing your difficulties will help your partner to voice there’s, so you can find a way of helping each other.
