Coping with Grief and Loss in the Classroom

Carmelita McGloughlin

Mentor on School Placement and ECE Placement, Mary Immaculate College

Children are no different from adults in that they are confronted with death in many different forms, from a favourite pet dying, to TV images of crashed planes and terrorist attacks. The current Covid-19 pandemic emphasises this. More than ever, schools will need to be ready to facilitate and support grieving children and colleagues.

Recent research by the Economic and Social Research Institute (ESRI) revealed that in Ireland: 2.2% of nine year-olds have experienced the death of a parent, 1.1% a sibling, 7% an aunt or uncle and 6% a close friend. By the age of nine, 28% of Irish children have lost a grandparent.

Children are usually curious and seek information about all life events, including death. It is common for the child to express thoughts and fears about death. However, there will be a variety of responses from the children, as even though all may be the within the same age group, the developmental stage of the child is not linear.

Skills Needed by Teachers

The school can provide a haven for the child away from the intensity of sadness that may be in the home at a time of bereavement or loss. Skills required from a teacher include empathy, compassion, patience, listening and the importance of giving time.

The teacher should acknowledge what happened and ask the child if there is any way that he/she can help. It is important to be flexible and honest in all dealings with the child. Teachers need to be good listeners and be able to use the appropriate language regarding grief and death.

Teachers also need to address their own fears in order to feel prepared to face the challenges that they meet when coping with grief and loss in the classroom. The teacher is often emotionally affected by the loss that the child is experiencing. Practical support may need to be given to the class teacher by colleagues if the teacher is overwhelmed by a particular situation, e. g. doing lunchtime supervision so that the class teacher can avail of respite. Records that are passed between classes should include any incidents of bereavement to ensure continuity of care.

Cultural Diversity

The changes in the profile of Irish society must influence the approach we take to addressing the challenges of grief and loss in the classroom. The rituals surrounding mourning are inherently connected to the culture of the particular family. It is very important for teachers to understand the family’s culture in order to provide meaningful support. The challenges facing the teacher can be daunting, but knowledge and understanding contribute to coping skills. The teacher or school could ask individual families to provide information about their particular cultural practices.

Initial Teacher Education

Internationally, teachers agree that their Initial Teacher Education (ITE) did not provide them with the skills to cope with the challenges of grief and loss in the classroom. Thus, lack of confidence is widespread. There is however a positive picture emerging in that all the ITE programs now provide modules on bereavement and loss.

There is increasing need for the provision of Continuous Professional Development (CPD) for the primary school teacher in the area of grief and loss in the 21st Century classroom.

The changes in the profile of Irish society must influence the approach we take to addressing the challenges of grief and loss in the classroom.

Policy

It is widely agreed that schools should have a policy document in place to provide guidance to teachers in the event of a death that impacts on the school community. Without specific guidelines from government, schools may need support and advice on the preparation and implementation of bereavement policies that embrace our culturally diverse society.

Recommendation

Coping with grief and loss in the classroom is complex, challenging and many faceted and merits greater attention in both ITE and CPD. We can enrich the child’s experience of loss by being knowledgeable.

CARMELITA MCGLOUGHLIN

Carmelita McGloughlin is a former primary school teacher, having taught children ranging from ages 4 to 12 in both urban and rural settings. In 2017, Carmelita was awarded an MA in Education for her research thesis: “The challenges that face the primary school teacher in coping with grief and loss in a multicultural setting”.

Carmelita works in Mary Immaculate College as a Mentor on School Placement and ECE Placement, parttime lectures in SPHE and supervises undergraduate dissertations. She worked with Compassionate Communities, Milford Care Centre, Limerick. This project aimed to support people to think about death, to encourage people to plan ahead, talk with others and offer practical support to those facing end of life.

If you would like to contact Carmelita in relation to this article, you can email her to carmelitamcgloughlin@mic.ul.ie.