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contents Vol 8 IssUE 8
02.17
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The Raphael of Reggae Damian Marley has Reggae music in his blood, and now his passion for cannabis has led him into another business.
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On the COVER p h o t o b y J o h n G i l h oole y
contents
inside
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features
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Tying the Knot Wedding industry traditions are changing, and we have a few tips for every cannabis bride and groom to use when planning their special day.
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Cannabis in the Bedroom Valentine’s Day is for romance and intimacy—here are our favorite cannabis-related products to help enhance the mood for you and your partner.
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Make Me a Match Molly Peckler is a cannabis dating coach who helps cannabis-loving couples find their true love.
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Colorful Creator Ängie is a rebellious and fearless Swedish pop star with a strong love for cannabis.
Online Exclusive!
departments news
d National Academy of Sciences
reviews 12 Dispensary in every issue 32 Destination
8 News Nuggets 9 By the Numbers 10 Local News
Highlight 13 Cool Stuff 14 Entertainment Reviews
Unknown 34 Recipes 37 Growing Culture 38 Profile in Courage 38 News of the Weird
Vol 8 IssUE 8
Supports Rescheduling of Cannabis d The First Cannabis-Based Drug
is Licensed in Brazil
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CULTURE M
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Publisher Jeremy Zachary Editor-In-Chief Evan Senn associate Editor Ashley Bennett Editorial coordinator Jamie Solis Editorial Contributors Matthew Abel, Benjamin Adams, Sheryll Alexander, Marguerite Arnold, Jake Browne, Cole Garrison, Jasen T. Davis, Alex Distefano, David Downs, Keira Fae, Natasha Guimond, Addison Herron-Wheeler, Pamela Jayne, M. Jay, Heather Johnson, Kevin Longrie, Emily Manke, Meital Manzuri, Sandy Moriarty, Madison Ortiz, Denise Pollicella, R. Scott Rappold, Paul Rogers, Ed Rosenthal, Lanny Swerdlow, Jefferson Van Billiard, Simon Weedn, Laurie Wolf, Zara Zhi Photographers Kristen Angelo, Steve Baker, Kristopher Christensen, John Gilhooley, Joel Meaders, Tonya Perme, Josué Rivas Art Director Steven Myrdahl production manager Tommy LaFleur Graphic Designer Tanya Delgadillo sales director Justin Olson Account Executives Jon Bookatz Eric Bulls, Kim Cook, Cole Garrison, Teddy Helms, Beau Odom, Chris Thatcher, Vic Zaragoza general Manager Iris Norsworthy Office Assistant Angelina Thompson digital media Editor David Edmundson Ctv Contributors Quinn Marie Intern Kiara Manns Distribution Manager Cruz Bobadilla
Culture® Magazine is published every month and distributes magazines at over 500 locations throughout Oregon. No articles, illustrations, photographs, or other matter within may be reproduced without written permission. Culture® Magazine is a registered trademark. All rights reserved. Phone / Fax 888.694.2046 www.iReadCulture.com
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NEWS
nuggetS Eugene Gets Large-Scale Cannabis Complex
A company that specializes in turn-key style cannabis grow properties, called Grow Condos, Inc. submitted plans for a large cannabis complex in Eugene. The company recently announced it will be moving forward with what it calls the “Nuggetville Project,” which consists of 33 individual warehouse units that are each 1,500 feet. Chief Executive Officer of Grow Condos, Inc., Wayne Zallen, shared his excitement for this large-scale project. “We are very pleased to be able to expand in this advantageous segment of the industry,” Zallen stated. “This new property will give us a great opportunity to offer tailored space for production and processing in a market ripe with growers aggressively seeking suitable solutions.” This project will total 50,000 square feet of cultivation space in the Pioneer Business Park in the city of Eugene, and it will be built by the Oregon contractor, Nering Construction, LLC.
Arkansas will Permit 32 Medical Cannabis Dispensaries Thirty-two medical cannabis dispensaries will be serving patients in Arkansas, according to the Arkansas Medical Marijuana Commission. A variety of other decisions to regulate the state’s new medical cannabis industry were also discussed on January 10, which included application fees, license fees and regulations on cannabis cultivation facilities. The most notable decision was a vote on how many dispensary licenses would be allowed, as detailed in the meeting minutes: “Commissioners discussed the number of dispensary licenses to be issued in the state. Commissioner Roman moved to issue 28 initial dispensary licenses. Commissioner Miller seconded the motion. By a vote of 3-2, the motion failed,” it reads. However, after the motion failed, the commission chose to unanimously approve 32 licenses instead. Some dispensaries will choose to grow their own cannabis, which would require them to pay a $25,000 license fee plus an annual fee of $32,500. Arkansas voters legalized medical cannabis in November 2016 for patients with various qualifying conditions, which include Alzheimer’s disease, cancer, Crohn’s disease, PTSD, seizures and many others. The law went into effect on November 9, 2016, however regulators were given extra time to enforce regulations on the program.
Guam Governor Supports Recreational Cannabis Governor of Guam, Eddie Baza Calvo, surprised many when he announced his approval for recreational cannabis legalization in Guam. His announcement came as part of a veto for Bill 344, which set to permit patients and caregivers to grow medical cannabis at home. At the same time, Calvo also shared the reason for supporting recreational cannabis legalization. “I am introducing this bill, not because I personally support the recreational use of marijuana, but as a solution to the regulatory labyrinth that sprouted from the voter-mandated medical marijuana program,” Calvo stated. “The program was well intended, seeking to provide for patients rather than leaving them in the dark or to the risks of the black market. While eliminating the black market is advantageous, the regulatory nightmare that became the medicinal program would have replaced it with a gray market rife with corruption and cronyism.” He continued to state that decriminalizing the sale, distribution, production and consumption of cannabis would allow them to control and tax the cannabis industry properly. 8
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OLCC Grants 762 Recreational Cannabis Licenses The Oregon Liquor Control Commission (OLCC) received 1,907 applications during 2016 for recreational cannabis licenses. Of those, 762 recreational cannabis licenses were approved through the first week of January. Steve Marks, who is the Executive Director of the OLCC, shared in a press release how hard his team has worked on the licensing process. “Our staff has worked nonstop and with determination to get this industry licensed,” Marks said. “Working after hours, working weekends, traveling long distances, this team has been flexible in getting this industry licensed, without compromising the trust placed in us to protect the public.” Praise for the OLCC staff’s hard work was also expressed by Will Higlin, OLCC Senior Director of Licensing and Compliance. “The staff has done a wonderful job getting the industry stood up during the last year, but we still have a lot of work to do in terms of continuing to license the industry,” Higlin stated. Higlin also shared that they next step is to shift resources to focus on public safety and industry compliance.
The maximum amount of cannabis oil extract, in pounds, that a Oregon cannabis company plans to produce per week, once it begins extracting: (Source: The Register Guard)
100
The number of cannabis dispensaries operating in Multnomah County: (Source: Willamette Week)
147
The estimated number of medical cannabis grow sites in Jackson County that have a Medford zip code:
The amount of money, in millions of dollars, that has been collected in cannabis tax payments since recreational cannabis taxes began in Oregon, as of November 30, 2016: (Source: kgw.com)
54.5
2,000
The number of recreational cannabis applications that were received by the Oregon Liquor Control Commission in 2016: (Source: The Business Journals)
(Source: Mail Tribune)
1,907
The number of applications for licenses that were received by the Jamaican Cannabis Licensing Authority at the end of October 2016 for growing or processing medical cannabis: (Source: Jamaica Observer)
The number of people who were pardoned from their minor cannabis-related crimes in Vermont: (Source: The New York Times)
89
The number of votes, out of 105, by the Mexico Senate in support of approving a bill that would allow for the use of medical cannabis: (Source: Reuters)
98
192 The approximate number of medical cannabis patients registered in Canada in September 2016: (Source: Financial Post)
100,000
The estimated amount of sales, in billions of dollars, that recreational cannabis made in the United States during 2016: (Source: The Washington Post)
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Wurstfest WHAT: Wurstfest. WHEN/WHERE: Fri, Feb. 24-Sat, Feb. 25. Mt. Angel Festhalle, 500 Wilco Hwy NE, Mount Angel. INFO: Visit www.mtangelwurstfest.org for details. If "wurst" wasn’t a term to describe German or Austrian sausages, we’d be tempted to call this event the “bestfest” when it comes to celebrating all things sausages. The city of Mount Angel is known as host to one of the largest Oktoberfest events in the Northwest, but since October is nowhere in sight, they’re celebrating the next best thing. Wurstfest honors the city’s Germanic heritage with some of the best sausage and beer pairings in the
area. The event will be populated with a good variety of food types, as well as other activities including enjoying authentic Bavarian music, dancing, games and demonstrations. Exclusive to the second day of the event, there will also be a Wurst Run—a 5K or 10K run, depending on your skill and desire to work off all of the sausages you eat. Mount Angel is a small town, but residents know how to throw a pretty big party when it comes to honoring their roots. iReadCULTURE.com
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NEWS
LOCAL
Cannabis Couriers
Portland approves cannabis delivery services
by Heather Johnson
T
he Portland City Council recently voted to allow cannabis delivery businesses to operate within Oregon’s recreational cannabis market. This new type of legal businesses is being referred to as a “marijuana courier” business. Not only has the city lifted its ban on cannabis delivery, Portland has created a special license for those in the delivery service business to help create a more legitimate and legal model. Courier businesses are required to have a headquarters where they can produce their own cannabis and cannabis products. However, they are not allowed to sell to consumers from their headquarters, making delivery their exclusive sales platform. The courier business headquarters must follow all the same zoning rules as any other dispensary, and must be at least 1,000 feet from any other cannabis business, although there are no rules dictating where they can deliver. Former Mayor Charlie Hales is in support of the growing recreational cannabis industry, “It’s great to see small businesses starting in the community, trying to do this the right way, and working with us trying to figure out the regulatory issues as we go along.” The Portland City Council are doing the cannabis industry a favor by increasing opportunities for small businesses to start out in the recreational market. This will be the first time delivery services will be able to operate legally, without having their legitimacy called
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into question. This is awesome news for anyone who has a difficult time getting out of their house, or finding transportation to a dispensary. Other states have allowed cannabis delivery in the past, but never in the recreational market. It has only been allowed for medical patients, and even then only in special circumstances. So Oregon is once again blazing a new trail within the cannabis industry. Several other new licenses were also created along with the courier license in January, one for growers with more than 625 feet of cultivated cannabis plants, one for those who have grow operations up to 1,250 square feet, and one for those selling seeds or plants purchased from wholesalers. Business hours for all dispensaries are now set in stone from 7am until 10pm, requiring Portlanders to operate with the same hours as those across the state. The Oregon Liquor Control Commission (OLCC) is in charge of making sure cannabis businesses not only have the proper licenses to operate, but are also following the industry guidelines. Commissioner Amanda Fritz is optimistic about the future of Oregon’s recreational market. “Since the state regulations keep changing and the industry keeps flourishing, we’ll keep coming back with multiple changes I’m sure. I look forward to that time.” Fritz leads the Office of Neighborhood Involvement, a division of the OLCC that could fine businesses up to $5,000 if code regulations are not met. The Portland City Council voted unanimously for these new additions and changes to the city’s cannabis code. Along with the OLCC and the Oregon Health Authority, the City Council wants to ease financial barriers for entrepreneurs trying to get into the cannabis industry. They also want to alleviate some of the burden on businesses trying to go from medical sales to recreational. Many owners were worried about getting shut down in the new year, but the OLCC is understanding of the difficult process businesses are going through, and have assured the public that nobody will get shut down as long as business are in the process of complying. The city has received so many new cannabis business applications that there is quite a long wait list at this point in time. Out of the 534 applicants Portland’s Bureau of Development Services has received, about 100 have been approved. Many businesses are stuck waiting for license approval before they can set up shop. With such a booming cannabis industry in Portland, recreational licenses are in high demand. And with continuous changes in state legislation, Portland’s recreational guidelines will also continue to change until we have rules that work for everyone. c
CannaTech CannaTech 2017 is happening at the Tel Aviv Port on the waterfront, and it is gearing up to bring the latest and greatest innovative cannabis technology to the masses. Industry leaders are bringing their unsurpassed knowledge to the event, and they will cover the current state of cannabis in addition to what the future holds. Speakers will include various influencers like the Co-Founder and CSO of CannaRegs, Amanda Ostrowitz, Dr. David Meiri, PhD, M.Sc of Technion and Saul Kaye, the CEO and Founder of iCAN:israel-cannabis. These three presenters are just a glimpse into the diverse, expert panel of speakers at CannaTech with professionals representing the various cannabis-related fields of agriculture, entrepreneurship, innovation, finance, government policy, research, science and technology. Meals, refreshments and an open bar throughout the days are sure to bring smiles to the event’s many attendees. WHAT: CannaTech. WHEN/WHERE: Mon, March 20-Wed, March 22. Trask and Reading3, Tel Aviv-Yafo, Israel. INFO: Visit www. canna-tech.co for more information.
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REVIEWs
dispensary highlight
Green Gratitude
Interviewed: Jered Teel, Joseph Glover
10322 SE Holgate Blvd, Portland, 97266
industry as a dispensary? Biggest joys?
www.420greengratitude.com (503) 444-7707
How and when did your dispensary start up? Two life-long friends hanging out one evening, discussing what we wanted to do with ourselves, and Green Gratitude was and has been a go since then. What’s the story behind the name of your shop? Green Gratitude; it’s about being thankful. It’s a part of how we live and react to life and its elements.
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What does your collective offer clients that they can’t find anywhere else? What do you specialize in, if anything? 1) $20, 1/8ths daily, tax included, 2) our understanding of the industry going hand-inhand with customer service, our budtenders have knowledge of the product at hand. What are the biggest challenges you face in this
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Industry changes! Inspections and so forth . . . very difficult, but when you complete and can run a fully compliant business, following stringent guidelines, it feels good and it’s a feeling of accomplishment. What is the one thing you want patients to know about your dispensary? We are open 365 days a
Top-Selling Concentrate: The True OG (our in-house strain) Top-Selling Edible: Grön Chocolate Bars (50mg)
year, no matter the weather conditions. If your regular shop is closed, you can always count on us! If someone wanted to open a dispensary and get their feet wet in the industry, what advice or counsel would you give them? Do your homework and expect blizzard-like conditional changes. We opened our doors in 2014 and the changes haven’t stopped. Expect a few years of set up. What is the most important thing you hope to accomplish while in the MJ/ MMJ community? To always be your “go to” cannabis dispensary. c
REVIEWs
For More Products Go To iReadCulture.com
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Exxus GO Concentrate Vaporizer From newbies to experienced cannabis consumers, this brand-new device is a great option for anyone looking for many hours of vaping. We know from personal experience that when we attend weddings and other social events, many vape pen batteries die so quickly that we have to bring tons of extra batteries. This rig features a lengthy battery life among other great qualities. Users will also enjoy strong hits, a quick warm-up time and much more. PRICE: $99.99 MORE INFORMATION: exxusvape.com
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Bad Bitch Club Herb Grinder Why rely on a cold metal grinder, when this amazing two-piece grinder comes with an exclusive membership to the “bad bitch” club? Okay, so maybe the club is more of an essence than an actual club, but you catch the drift. This two-inch grinder will help turn your stickiest nugs into ground up shake that’s perfect for rolling endless joints and blunts. Buy it for yourself or gift it to a friend this Galentine’s Day! PRICE: $20 MORE INFORMATION: www.etsy.com/shop/ PenelopeGazin
Cannabis Oil Winter Skin Care Kit Cannabis and hemp oils are notoriously great when used as skincare products for various reasons. These products have been reported as truly effective for protecting skin, preventing rashes, treating psoriasis and providing acne relief. Now you can feel the healing magic yourself with this adorable gift set from Front Range Soap. With body bombs, hand and body lotion, body budder and more, you will be able to relax and find relief for hours with this exclusive line of skincare. PRICE: $19.95 MORE INFORMATION: www.etsy.com/shop/ FrontRangeSoap
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The Chelsea Every girl (or guy) needs a go-to bag that can carry everything from office goodies to cannabis essentials. In the case that you do need to travel straight from work to your favorite smoke spot, this fashionable handbag features a secret, Aroma-Bloc compartment to keep your after-work intentions on the down-low. This secret space will fit all types of cannabis goodies from flowers and glass to edibles and vape pens. The top compartment is a bucket bag with six different organizing pockets, so you can bring along everything your heart desires. PRICE: $295 MORE INFORMATION: annabisstyle.com
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REVIEWs
entertainment
BOOK
Three A Light
Release Date: February 28 Available on: PlayStation 4
Joshua Haupt Pono Publications Ltd. Three A Light claims to be the only book you need to be able to grow the highest quality and highest yielding indoor cannabis around. The information in this book does cover technical information like temperature, humidity, CO2, room dynamic, equipment, genetics, food and water, manicuring and pruning, and does so with the well designed and easyto-follow instructions. The images are the best part however; gorgeous, high resolution, full bleed images cover the majority of the pages in this book and show you every detail imaginable. It is the perfect mix of a coffee table book and a howto guide! (Alex Bradley)
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GAME
MUSIC
Future Politics MOVIE
Horizon Zero Dawn
The Accountant
Dev. Guerrilla Games
Warner Bros. Pictures
Pub. Sony Interactive Entertainment Horizon Zero Dawn is a highly anticipated postapocalyptic actionRPG that takes place in a world inhabited by primitive humans and robotic creatures of all sizes. Join Aloy, a practiced archer in her tribe, journeys through a beautiful but equally dangerous open world to learn where these robotic monsters originated from and what has happened to humanity. Aloy helps to unravel these mysteries while utilizing many different ranged and melee weapons, alongside stealthy strategies, which she uses to survive in that harsh world. (Nicole Potter)
Dir. Gavin O’Connor
While documentaries and dramas tend to have a bit more sustenance in them, sometimes there’s nothing nicer than a good old meat and potatoes action flick to get the blood pumping; The Accountant is just that. With director Gavin O’Connor (Pride And Glory, Warriors) at the helm and Ben Affleck, Anna Kendrick and J.K. Simmons in the leading roles, The Accountant brings some blazing shoot outs and some fairly impassioned performances to the table with a blockbuster budget to make it all look as epic as possible. For those in need of an awesome shoot’em up, look no further. (Simon Weedn)
Austra Domino Records Toronto synth-popper Austra has returned with its third album, Future Politics. Though the band started off in 2009 with a serious penchant for the pulsing rhythms and the dusky textures of darkwave, in the years since the band’s music has grown both more polished as well as more nuanced. Though Austra was always attentive to tone and sound design, Future Politics shows the group at its most dense and lush. Laden with brilliant melodies and lyrics ripe for today’s political climate, Austra hits it out of the park with Future Politics. (Simon Weedn)
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Rast
p h o t o s b y J o h n G i l h oole y
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l i v e p h o t o s b y Sterl i n g M u n k s g a r d
ta
Damian “Jr. Gong” Marley creates compassionate and thoughtful music, and now he is stepping into the cannabis industry with that same care and consideration by Addison Herron-Wheeler
A
legend in his own right, Damian “Jr. Gong” Marley has surpassed the shadow of his legendary father’s career to make a name for himself in reggae. Rather than rely on clout, Damian has worked just as hard as someone starting from scratch, touring and recording non-stop. A singer and performer since the age of 13, Marley fuses electronic and hip-hop-influenced elements with traditional dancehall and reggae stylings to put his own
spin on the culture he comes from. He has been a part of supergroups and collaborated with dubstep stars, but still manages to keep his feet planted firmly on the ground. In addition to being a creative force, Marley is also Rastafarian with interesting insight into the spiritual properties of cannabis as well as the business and medical opportunities the plant brings. With a new album, Stony Hill released last month, CULTURE was lucky enough to catch up with Damian Marley to talk about his upcoming projects, the power of cannabis and the way of the future. >>
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Obviously, you grew up with music and with an amazing role model for playing dub and reggae in your father. What made you decide to follow in his footsteps, and how has having him as an influence shaped your music? Being a fan of music more so than anything else has shaped me and made me want to do what I do. It’s not so much trying to follow my father’s footsteps, as it is wanting to express myself through music. Of course I’m influenced by my father just like so many other musicians, but I’m influenced by so many other artists too besides by father. It’s really just all about my love for the music. What is some of the music you are most proud of creating so far? All of it. I can’t really single out anything specific. When I listen back to some of my earlier recordings I can appreciate a point in my development and growth as an artist and as a person, so each point is kind of historical for me as an artist and as a person. Do you have anything exciting in the works in terms of touring or writing songs? I have a new album that just came out in January, and the name of the album is Stony Hill. What is the best show you ever played, and in your opinion? There have been too many great shows to really single out any one. To me what makes a great live experience is kind of when the performer and audience are on the same page, and they are both engaged in the show. It’s a relationship where the energy goes back and forth, so the more energetic the audience is, that usually makes the performer more energetic. Who are some of the artists you like the most today? Who are you listening to or inspired by? I am listening to a lot of young people from Jamaica and a lot of music from Jamaica– Kabaka Pyramid, Iba MaHr, to name a few. Dub and reggae have inspired so many forms of music, from underground dub bass in the electronic scene to ska in the punk scene. Do you listen to any of these offshoot genres, and how do you feel about this influence? Well to tell you the truth, I spend so much time in the studio making music, and especially because I’ve been working on my record for some time now, I haven’t really been listening to a lot of outside music, if that makes sense to you. Of course there are a lot of different genres that are influenced. I have done stuff with Skrillex, as far as the dubstep genre goes. Seeing all the influence it has had, it really inspires and validates how valuable reggae music is and how much it has inspired the culture. >> 18
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As a Rastafarian, cannabis is clearly a big part of your life. How does it fit into your life as a spiritual and inspirational substance? I’m a Rastafarian, so it is considered a spiritual sacrament. We smoke herb to put us in a meditative state, to think of thoughts that are a little more spiritual or expressive than the normal thoughts you’d have in day-to-day life. You have thoughts that grow a little more than what is in your day-to-day life.
How does cannabis factor into your creative process and the music you make? Well, usually we are smoking whenever are making music; when we are writing and stuff like that. We get into that energy here and we get into our creative space, so a majority of the time when we are in the studio there will be herb smoking. It is a part of day-to-day life for me personally; I smoke pretty much daily.
What do you think of the mainstream acceptance of cannabis? Do you see any of the people who smoke it as not appreciating its sacred properties, or do you think it should be something enjoyed by everyone? I think that the progress that is being made right now is great, in terms of it becoming medical and it being accepted, and a lot of research is being done. A lot of the healing properties are coming out, and there is a lot more to cannabis than it getting you high. I also think it’s good that a kid who smokes a joint isn’t necessarily going to get locked up or get a criminal record. A lot of people in Jamaica get a criminal record just for smoking a joint, and that’s not right.
Have you ever used cannabis to medicate, or as medicine? How do you feel about the fact that cannabis can be so healing as someone who believes it has spiritual qualities? Do these two things seem related to you? That is kind of what I touched on earlier–the healing properties of the plant that have been discovered now– the research is so early but the benefits that are being discovered so far are great. I haven’t really used it so far for any personal medical reasons, but I’ve heard the stories of people who have been using the herb, children with epilepsy and that kind of thing. We are looking forward to the possibilities that are on the horizon as people learn more and more about this plant. >>
“That’s cool if they don’t accept it; it’s not for everyone. As long as you don’t judge someone else for using it, you don’t have to use it personally; that’s cool with me. There are a lot of things that aren’t for everyone, and as long as we are all free to choose what we want then there shouldn’t be any problems.” iReadCULTURE.com
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“I’m a Rastafarian, so [cannabis] is considered a spiritual sacrament. We smoke herb to put us in a meditative state, to think of thoughts that are a little more spiritual or expressive than the normal thoughts you’d have in day-today life.” 20
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How do you feel about how legalization has been handled so far, in the U.S., Jamaica or anywhere else in the world? One of my concerns that I’ve been touching on recently is that the original people who sacrificed for the herb for so long, the original farmers and people who have sold herb out on the streets, we really want them to still be a part of the business. That is my concern, that it doesn’t become something that the corporate people take over, and the little local farmers and hustlers can still be a part of it all and still continue to feed their families by growing and selling the herb. We don’t want to take that away from them. What do you hope the landscape of legal cannabis will look like in five years? Hopefully a lot of other places legalize the cannabis in terms of other states and other countries. Hopefully more recreational will come in and be voted on. And with all this, hopefully they will discover some great cures for illnesses. In what ways are you involved with legal cannabis? How are you either financially tapping into the market, or using your influence to create positive change? We’ve partnered up with a
dispensary named True Cannabis in Colorado to open up a Stone Hill store in Denver, Colorado, right across from the Mile High Stadium. That is one of our first ventures. We are also looking to do some things with a company called Open Grown. So that’s basically what our involvement so far is, in the industry. What would you say to those who still do not accept cannabis spiritually, recreationally and medically? That’s cool if they don’t accept it; it’s not for everyone. As long as you don’t judge someone else for using it, you don’t have to use it personally; that’s cool with me. There are a lot of things that aren’t for everyone, and as long as we are all free to choose what we want then there shouldn’t be any problems. c
“I think that the progress that is being made right now is great, in terms of it becoming medical and it being accepted, and a lot of research is being done. A lot of the healing properties are coming out, and there is a lot more to cannabis than it getting you high.” www.damianmarleymusic.com iReadCULTURE.com
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Planning the Perfect Cannabis Wedding Everything you need to know about having the best cannabiscentered wedding possible
by Quinn Marie
our wedding day is one of the most important days of your life. It’s the day you and your partner show the world who you are as a couple; a day to express your beliefs and represent your love as a new duo. Cannabis weddings are on the rise and for good reason—everyone deserves to have that dream wedding, and incorporating cannabis into the big day is a great way to share your mutual love for cannabis as well as introduce cannabis to others in a safe and festive way. CULTURE spoke with three cannabis wedding-centered business owners who have mastered the art of incorporating cannabis in beautiful and innovative ways. >>
We have seen a few different ways clients would like to incorporate weed into their wedding but by far the most popular request is a weed bar with a quality bud tender. 22
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photo by Brittany Lauren
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photo by Brittany Lauren
Jasmine Maimone is an associate at The Hazy Daisy in Colorado. While working in a dispensary, she attended a cannabis business incubator event and discovered her love to combine cannabis flowers with traditional floral arrangements.
Bec Koop, the former owner of Buds and Blossoms as well as Cannabis Concierge Events and founder of Cannabis Wedding Expo has rebranded and started a “one stop shop” for anything and everything one could need when planning a cannabis wedding.
Have you had many wedding requests, if so what are the couples looking for? And what advice do you give them?
When couples approach you and inquire about your services, do they usually have an idea in mind or do you guide them through the process of what’s available?
The Hazy Daisy focuses on cannabis-friendly events in the Denver Metro Area. Other than a general color scheme, people are usually too excited at the prospect of a cannabis incorporated arrangement to provide much direction. It gives me a lot of artistic leeway. The best advice I can give to someone incorporating cannabis into their event—follow all state and local laws and be upfront with your venue.
We do both. Our website is pretty educational about the different services we provide. Once [the date] is set, we send them a full blown questionnaire that dives into the dirty details of everything from, would you like a hemp silk wedding dress made? Would you like hemp chapstick or pain reliever to give out as party favors to your non-consuming guests? We try to really look at what their needs are, what their budget is and try to come up with the best package.
What are some of your recommendations for floral arrangements/boutonnieres for someone looking to do an all cannabis wedding?
What are some wedding trends or features that you’ve noticed gaining momentum lately?
The cannabis flower serves as the prominent feature in these floral arrangements, boutonnieres and corsages, so the size and overall look of the flower (or bud) is extremely important. Generally, boutonnieres require a flower the size of a half dollar and a full flower arrangement would require multiple flowers around the same size or bigger.
One of the biggest things that has really taken off since starting this business is the budtending service. The budbar is set up with educational material, you’re talking to the guest about what strain would be perfect for their vibe and their feel for the evening. Making sure that we can help with moderation and discretion and education are three huge points we like to push. >>
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Nora and Elizabeth Sheils run Bridal Bliss out of Oregon. When it comes to planning a cannabis wedding, their motto is, “as long as we are within the law, let’s get creative and have fun.” Has Bridal Bliss received many cannabis wedding requests? And what advice do you give them? We have received a handful of requests from couples looking to host a cannabis-friendly wedding. When we begin working with them we talk about the restrictions, rules and regulations. What are some unique ways you’ve found to incorporate cannabis into a wedding? e have seen a few different ways clients would like to W incorporate weed into their wedding but by far the most popular request is a weed bar with a quality bud tender. We have had a few clients incorporate marijuana into their florals, which is a fun little detail and a client that recently worked in an ice pipe and “420 smoke.” c
photo by Jessica Hill Photography
The best advice I can give to someone incorporating cannabis into their event— follow all state and local laws and be upfront with your venue.
Here are a few of our favorite wedding must haves for saying, “I do!” This gorgeous Janay A Eco Bridal dress is a hemp silk blend guaranteed to make the bride the star of the show.
Wedding flowers are essential and this peonies and cannabis bouquet and boutonniere are a classic look.
Here’s a simpler cannabis only version.
Your groomsmen will look dashing with these cannabis boutonnieres. photo by Justin Baltz
Setting up your budbar can be as intricate or simple as you like.
After the big day, these Dank Essence bath bombs make the perfect gift for soothing your entire wedding party.
Your groom will love these cannabis cufflinks by Winky and Dutch.
Looking for a sweet treat? Love’s Oven Red Velvet Edible cookies are a delicious addition to any wedding. iReadCULTURE.com
february 2017
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Achieve Better Sex with These Cannabis related Products by Jane Cannon
Who doesn’t want to have better sex and more intense orgasms? Infuse cannabis into your sex life, and the results will shock you in the most pleasurable ways. There are many products geared towards unifying cannabis couples, and here are just a few that you have to try either solo or with your lover, all in time for Valentine’s Day.
Cannadom Cannabis Flavored Condoms
Sexxpot
Foria Arguably one of our favorite cannabis sex products to ever hit the market, Foria Cannabis Lubricant will give you tingling sensations while elevating your physical experience of sex. Although it was created with women in mind, this oil is sure to pass the pleasure from you to your partner through a little skin-to-skin contact. Spray the oil directly on the vagina, and get ready to reach a higher sexual experience. 26
Get ready to infuse your sex life using a classic, but customized cannabis consumption method. Sexxpot is a strain of cannabis that utilizes a well thought out 14 percent THC to infuse your sexual endeavors with a strong, sexy and aphrodisiac effect, while not getting you too sleepy. Not only will it help you to let go of your inhibitions, but many have reported it to work like a natural Viagra.
february 2017 iReadCULTURE.com
Peter Piper Pecker Puffer Glass Pipe Dildo Don’t be afraid if your partner is sparking up this bowl close to your most sensitive areas—after all, that is the whole idea behind the ingenious invention of this glass pipe and dildo. Not only will this eight-inch glass dildo bring intense pleasure to whomever is at the receiving end, the fun only continues as you decide to smoke some flower out of this phallic wonder.
Fruit-flavored condoms are overrated and let’s face it—they taste pretty terrible too. Cannabis consumers can now rejoice though, as the Canandom Cannabis Flavored Condoms bring one of their favorite smells into the bedroom. With the fantastic aroma of cannabis filling the air of your bedroom, car or wherever else you get down, you and your partner can enjoy the scent of cannabis while having sex without having to spark a joint. Safe sex just got even cooler with these unique condoms.
Ganja Vibes Mary Jane Vibrator If you want to take your love for cannabis to the next level, then get intimate with this cannabisthemed vibrator. Take the controls yourself or pass it off to a friend, and get ready to feel the immense pleasure from the cannabis leaf shaped pleasure egg. With multiple speeds available, get ready to reach orgasmic euphoria with this fun cannabis vibrator.
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february 2017
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Cannabis Dating 101
Molly Peckler, Cannabis Dating Coach and Founder of Highly Devoted talks cannabis, love and how to make it last
by Addison Herron-Wheeler
W
hen it comes to sex and love, cannabis gets a great rap as far as getting intimate between the sheets. But in reality, cannabis can do so much more than spice things up in the bedroom. It can also promote intimacy between couples when it comes to talking out issues, connecting on a spiritual level and just
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generally treating each other well and finding some common ground. CULTURE spoke to cannabis dating coach Molly Peckler, founder of her own cannabis company, Highly Devoted, to get the scoop on how she helps couples and individuals who prioritize cannabis, good vibes and mutual love and respect. >>
february 2017 iReadCULTURE.com
What made you decide to become a cannabis dating coach or go into cannabis counseling? Being a cannabis-friendly dating coach is kind of the perfect amalgamation of my professional experience and passions. I have a degree in psychology and I am a people person, very emotionally intelligent, and I’ve always been someone who was able to connect on a very deep level with both men and women. For years I worked as a professional matchmaker, and I helped people find love. How do you work cannabis into your job as a dating coach? Well I am someone who is a
What are some of the most common issues you see couples experiencing when they come to you, and how does cannabis help? I do work with people who are in relationships but potentially having issues connecting over cannabis; they feel like they can’t be completely honest with their partner, and I also work with couples where the communication isn’t there and it doesn’t have anything to do with cannabis. What is your greatest success story when it comes to cannabis as a treatment for couples? One of my favorite clients I ever worked with, she is actually
Sometimes when we are in a relationship our emotions can get the best of us, so you can use cannabis as a way to get on the same page.
regular cannabis consumer, and it plays a really important part in my relationship with my husband and it has since the day we met, so I really understand how it is important to many people in their lives and should be important in their search for a partner and eventually their relationships. At that point I was like, “Okay, I had this experience,” and I was kind of living the dream in terms of having my cannabisfriendly partner and realized how important that is, and how many people can face a lot of judgement and stigma when dating if they use cannabis. I get how that factors into a search and I also really understand how cannabis and networking works in that circle, so I help people locally wherever they are to find cannabis partners that they form romantic connections with. I’ve also started throwing events that are kind of cannabis singles mixers where we do have consumption onsite.
located in Europe. I Skype a lot of my clients, so it doesn’t really matter where you are. She is someone who is very successful, very high powered career, and she always felt ashamed about her love of cannabis. It was something she hadn’t come to terms with, and she wasn’t open with people in her life, and I helped her realize how it helped her fuel her success. I helped her to find someone through online dating, craft her profile, and the person she met was incredibly accepting. Where do you see your business in 10 years? I am currently working on a book, so I definitely want to release a book and go tour and do a lot of speaking engagements and help as many people as I can, and eventually I’d like to have my own cannabis products that focus on confidence or flirtation or different things for couples to relax and unwind with in the bedroom, different ways
cannabis can enhance your life and relationships. I am also speaking with some different production companies about doing a show about my business, so that could be something really cool in the future as well. What do you think could be done better overall when it comes to cannabis as a tool for counseling? If I was a licensed councilor or social worker or therapist or psychologist I would be at risk for losing my license if I talked about cannabis the way that I do, so I think that’s definitely unfortunate. Coaching definitely works with my clients, but I know there are people who are licensed professionals who would love to use cannabis as part of their practices. What advice do you have for couples who are cannabis users and want to use cannabis to help improve their relationships? I would say really focus on the fact that cannabis enhances compassion and empathy, and use cannabis as a tool to communicate, to bond, to spend time together. It’s a great way to gain perspective. Sometimes when we are in a relationship our emotions can get the best of us, so you can use cannabis as a way to get on the same page. There’s nothing better than being able to have a great session with the person that you love. c
highlydevotedcoaching.com
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The Sultry and Colorful Rebellion of Ängie Just legalize it, don’t criticize it! It’s natural. Mother Earth gave it to us to help keep up with society’s bullshit.
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february 2017 iReadCULTURE.com
Pushing the boundaries of music and style, Ängie is fearless and inspiring by Addison Herron-Wheeler
Fame and success in this post-modern age are not as easily definable, the way they once were in the age of MTV and teen magazines. Sweden’s unique artist Ängie is living proof of this; almost every moment in her career defies boundaries and pushes limits. The singer originally became popular from rapping over Snapchat, and once noticed, she did anything but conform or normalize. She dyes her hair, wears colorful outfits and sings about cannabis, lesbian encounters and not needing a man or a traditional life and more cannabis. CULTURE recently caught up with Ängie to talk about her career and her love for the sweet, sweet herb. >>
You’ve said in an interview that you got your start rapping by sending out Snapchats. Did you ever make any music before that, or did this kind of come about by accident? It kind of came by accident. I had no idea Snapchat could take you so far. I should have a "Smoke Weed Eat Pussy" filter. Is your hit debut song “Smoke Weed Eat Pussy” a lesbian and stoner anthem? What was the inspiration behind the song? I was just writing a fun song about the 15-year-old me.
Your new song, “Housewife Spliffin,” seems to have a message about not needing a significant other and being happy on your own. What has the reaction been to this song following your debut, and what is the meaning behind it? It is like you said. It’s about not needing a man all the time, but about caring more about yourself. You’ve become almost an overnight success—to what do you attribute this, and what are your plans for the future of your career? I’m just going to keep destroying the internet with beautiful colors; I’m needed, and I’m going show it.
How do you feel about legalization so far, in Sweden, the U.S. or in general? What could be done better or differently? Just legalize it, don’t criticize it! It’s natural. Mother Earth gave it to us to help keep up with society’s bullshit. What message do you hope to spread by featuring cannabis use so prominently in your videos and lyrics? How do you think identifying as a cannabis user will affect your career? Like come on—Miley, Rihanna, Snoop, Lana and on and on—everyone is singing about it. What is your favorite strain, and what is your favorite way to smoke?
So far, a major theme in your music seems to be cannabis. How did this come about?
I’m not really sure about the strain, but I’m always rolling joints.
It’s just that I love it so much, and it’s a shame it’s still illegal.
Is there anything else you would like to add?
Why is cannabis so important to you? It helped me get through a rough time when I wanted to kill myself. I was f*cking depressed, and it helped me find my cool.
Society’s “normal” is the enemy. c
www.facebook.com/lilweedhoe
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culture RECIPES
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Time to Go: February Weather: Low 80s with occasional rain Budget: $$$$$
if you go:
Bahia Brazil Blazes During Carnaval While most cannabis enthusiasts look to Rio and São Paulo when it comes to Carnaval season, Brazil’s state of Bahia has the most authentic street party scene. Why the northeastern coastal state of Bahia and its capital of Salvador rather than Rio or São Paulo? Salvador’s Carnaval, which runs this season from February 23-28, has historically been the largest with about two million revelers (although Rio has now surpassed that number). That’s because Bahains don’t go for the whole formalized “samba school” format for their festivities. In fact, even the music is different in Bahia with more African influences. Salvador’s Carnaval has two main “circuits” or parade routes that wind through this bar-filled town. Semi-trailer trucks called trio elétricos are outfitted with thousand-watt sound systems that blast axé and electronica music to the frenetic, colorful crowds of dancers and drummers.
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There’s three ways to enjoy the party scene in Bahia. You can go pipoca (or free) by simply watching and participating in the local street scene. Or, you can buy what’s called an abadá where you dance “inside the ropes,” which provides much-needed security. The most expensive—and perhaps the best way to enjoy the scene—is to buy out a camarote for the day. This fixed location could be anything from a bar patio to a hotel balcony where drinks, food and a DJ are included. But Carnaval is just one reason to choose Bahia. Salvador itself is a major tourist destination in Brazil because this lively city situated where the Atlantic meets Brazil’s largest bay (Todo os Santos) is a cultural treasure packed with breathtaking scenery, gorgeous beaches, delicious food, diverse accommodations and beautiful people. Every good thing about cannabis, Brazil and Carnaval can be found in Bahia and Salvador, so what are you waiting for? c
Fun-Filled Facts
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by Sheryll Alexander
Cannabis—like all “street” drugs—is illegal in Brazil. However, a 2006 law decriminalized cannabis (and other drugs) for personal use. Rather than prison, offenders are given a warning and sometimes sent to community service or drug awareness education classes. Still, Brazil recognizes “trafficking” or possessing large amounts of cannabis (or selling it) as a “heinous” crime and it could get you 5-15 years in one of Brazil’s exceedingly overcrowded prisons. For visitors, and most especially during Carnaval season, the best bet is to be discreet. Find some cool locals with connections at bars, clubs and the beach. And don’t toke up outside—although while dancing in a crowd of two million revelers, who is gonna care?
Itaparica is the biggest island in Todo os Santos Bay and is known for its literal “fountain of youth.” In fact, people have come to the island’s famous Fonte de Bica for centuries to drink this tropical island’s naturally carbonated, mineral-rich waters. 1
february 2017 iReadCULTURE.com
Can’t make it to Carnaval? You can get a taste of the world’s biggest party once a week in Salvador. Called Terca da Bençao, this weekly procession starts at Pelourinho or the city’s center, where Afro-Brazilian drummers beat while locals and tourists dance in the streets. 2
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culture growing RECIPES UNKNOWN DESTINATION COURAGE IN PROFILE 34
Fall in Love Again Menu:
Baked Halibut with Lemon Tarragon Mustard Goat Cheese-Stuffed Roasted Figs Sensual Honey Dust
For Valentine’s Day, reservations and going out on the town to make some kind of special night for your special someone can be fun, but it can also be a headache and a hassle. Consider swapping the night out for a night in, and have some fun at home. You can spend intimate time together cooking these romantic, exotic and simple dishes together as a couple, and then have some fun with dessert! The gorgeous light meal will be a perfect precursor to the extra fun interactive treat at the end. The simple sensual honey dust is the perfect dessert for any special night with your loved one—it is easy to make and fun to lick off your partner.
february 2017 iReadCULTURE.com
Baked Halibut with Lemon Tarragon Mustard Ingredients 2 eight-ounce halibut steaks 1⁄4 cup fresh lemon juice 1/2 tablespoon lemon zest 2 tablespoons Dijon mustard 2 teaspoons finely chopped fresh tarragon 2 teaspoons finely chopped fresh chives 1⁄4 cup cannabis-infused olive oil t Salt Freshly ground black pepper Lemon slices, for garnish Fresh tarragon, for garnish Directions Preheat oven to 400°F. In a small bowl, whisk together the lemon juice, zest, mustard, tarragon and chives or scallions, then gradually whisk in the olive oil until well incorporated to make the marinade; season to taste with salt and freshly ground pepper. Place fish steaks in a ziplock bag, then add the marinade, close the bag securely, and refrigerate for 30 minutes to 2 hours. Place halibut on a parchment-lined baking sheet. Bake 10 to 12 minutes, or until fish is tender and cooked to your preference. Transfer steaks to a serving platter, garnish with lemon slices and tarragon, and serve immediately.
t Additional recipe can be found at iReadCulture.com
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Goat CheeseStuffed Roasted Figs Ingredients 6 figs Goat cheese 2 tablespoons cannabis-infused olive oil t
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Warmed honey Directions
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Quarter your figs, cutting three-quarters of the way down. Stuff the figs with goat cheese. Drizzle 2 tablespoons of cannabis-infused olive oil in a pan, and heat till 425°. Roast in oiled pan for 12 minutes, until softened. Serve drizzled with warmed honey.
Sensual Honey Dust Ingredients 2 tbsp vanilla powder
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1 tbsp cannabis-infused honey t
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1 cup cornstarch Directions In a food processor or blender, pulse vanilla powder and cornstarch until combined. Very slowly add honey while blending on medium, until all honey is added and the mixture is fully combined. Apply to body with hands or make a feather duster to apply it with. Legal Disclaimer Publishers of this publication are not making any representations with respect to the safety or legality of the use of medical marijuana. The recipes listed here are for general entertainment purposes only, and are intended for use only where medical marijuana is not a violation of state law. Edibles can vary in potency while a consumers’ weight, metabolism and eating habits may affect effectiveness and safety. Ingredient management is important when cooking with cannabis for proper dosage. Please consume responsibly and check with your doctor before consumption to make sure that it is safe to do so.
february 2017 iReadCULTURE.com
culture growing
2017 WINTER GARDEN 1
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he garden has been empty for about two months and I’m restarting. It’s the first week of January and the days are short, only nine hours of daylight, and much of it is dim. My plan was to visit a local dispensary and buy about 30 clones. I would have repotted them into 8” containers and vegetate them for a week before forcing the instant sea of green to flower. However, I saw a beautiful Shark Shock plant, mostly indica, with parentage of White Widow and Skunk #1, at the shop. I decided to buy that instead. The plant is 24 inches tall with a canopy that spreads out 39 inches in a great circle. It had a lot of side branches, but I cut them and will use them for cloning. After trimming off the side branches and the weaker branch offshoots, the plant was placed in its new home, a five-
TIP OF THE MONTH If you have an unobstructed south facing window that’s not used at night, now is a good time to grow some plants. The sun is low on the horizon so it floods the window with light. It would be best to start with clones or young plants but seeds are good, too. With the natural light regimen the plants will start to flower immediately. Shortening the dark period by interrupting it with light several times each evening (timers help with this task) or keeping a light on continuously will keep the plants growing vegetatively, increasing size.
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by Ed Rosenthal
gallon container. The plant was growing in a two-and-a-half gallon container using planting mix. The roots were lightly circling the sides and I didn’t want to disturb them. The old container was a little shorter than the new one so I added enough mix to the bottom of the new container so the plant stem sits at the same level in the new container. Then I filled the sides with planting mix. I placed the container in a tray to catch excess water, keeping the space neat. Water that drains into the tray is soon soaked up by the container. I placed the tray on a Styrofoam sheet to block the cold concrete floor from draining heat from the container, cooling the roots. The plant basks in my greenhouse under a 600 watt HPS lamp. This replaces a 1000watt lamp that I would have used indoors, saving 400 watts an hour. The plant absorbs the ambient light and a bit of direct sunlight and it’s a convenient space to grow. As the position of the sun changes seasonally the greenhouse will receive more sunlight, boosting growth as the flowers are in their last stages of growth and ripening. The timer turns the light on a 6am, just before dawn now, and it goes off at 6pm, slightly after sunset. The greenhouse is kept at 620 at night using a gas heater with thermostat attached and a backup electric heater set at 60 0. A minimum temperature of 70 0 is maintained during the day. Over the next 60-70 days the plant will initiate flowering, grow buds and ripen. The buds will be ready to pick in mid-March. This is weeks before March 22, the first day of spring, when the light period reaches 12 hours. c
The plant had lots of side branches and its roots were beginning to circle the container.
The plant after pruning and repotting. Side and weak branches were pruned and cloned.
Branches were “trained” lower using a horticultural twisttie.
In the greenhouse the plant receives both natural and generated lighting.
Aluminum foil was taped to reflector to direct more light to the plant.
Copyright by Ed Rosenthal. All rights are reserved. First North American Magazine rights only are assigned to culture Magazine. No other reproduction of this material is permitted without the specific written permission of the author/copyright holder.
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Chuck Shepherd's
News of the
Weird
growing
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Coltyn Turner
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LEAD STORY u Radical dentistry was on display in November in London’s Science Gallery, where installations offered “art-science collaborations”— including Taiwan artist Kuang-Yi Ku’s “Fellatio Modification Project.” Former dentist Ku, complaining that textbooks on mouths tragically under-regard their value in sex, created (the ordinary way) a custom retainer for the client’s mouth but then added rubber “bumps” and “cones” and “ribs” and “ripples” that might be pleasing to a partner.
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Age: 16 Condition/Illness: Crohn’s Disease, Rheumatoid Arthritis and Lupus Using medical cannabis since: 2014
Why did you start using cannabis? It was a last resort. I was really sick and the westernized medications were only making things worse. Did you try other methods or treatments before cannabis? Yes! I sat in a chemo room for eight hours at a time getting IV infusions. I took shots every two weeks, and I’ve swallowed more pills than any 11-year-old should ever have to. What’s the most important issue or
problem facing medical cannabis patients? There are so many issues and problems that cannabis patients have to deal with. I would have to pick access. There are so many people across the world that are sick and cannabis could help them, but they can’t get it. What do you say to the folks that are skeptical about cannabis as medicine? I’d show them my “before” and “after” colonoscopies! I really haven’t been confronted with skepticism though. c
Are you an MMJ patient with a compelling story to tell? If so, we want to hear from you. Email your name, contact information and details about your experiences with medical cannabis to courage@ireadculture.com.
february 2017 iReadCULTURE.com
SUSPICIONS CONFIRMED u Evolution, according to scientists, likely explains why some “prey” develop defense mechanisms to avoid “predators,” i.e., the prey who fail to develop them are unable to procreate (because they’re dead), but a team of scientists from Sweden and Australia recently concluded that something similar happens in a species of fish in which males mate basically by huge-appendaged rape. Growing nine generations of the species in the lab, the researchers concluded that the females who can avoid the “rapist” evolve larger brains than those who fall victim. (Researchers, loosely speaking, thus concluded that as males grow bigger penises, females grow bigger brains to outsmart them.) RECURRING THEMES u Whistleblower goes to jail; responsible industry executives make millions. Long-time Mississippi environmental activist Tennie White is 27 months
into a 40-month sentence (for “falsifying” three $150 tests in her laboratory), but high-ranking executives at the Kerr-McGee chemical conglomerate made millions on the case White helped expose: leakage of cancercausing creosote into communities, including White’s Columbus, Mississippi, neighborhood. A detailed investigation by TheIntercept.com in November noted the executives’ brilliant response to the 25,000 creosote lawsuits nationwide: put all the liability into one outlying company (eventually going bankrupt) but selling off, highly profitably, the rest of the firm. COMPELLING EXPLANATIONS u Texas is among the most enthusiastic states for jailing low-income arrestees who cannot pay a money bail, especially during devastating family hardships, and the four Houston bail magistrates are particularly harsh, according to a recent report of the Texas Organizing Project. After hearing one financially overwhelmed woman beg sarcastically that $1,000 bail is “nothing” next to her other bills, unsympathetic magistrate Joe Licata shrugged, “It’s nothing to me, either. It’s job security.” PERVERT—OR NOT u (1) When police in Port Orange, Florida, arrested Anthony Coiro, 76, in November, he admitted that he had a stash of “crazy” pornography, some featuring children. However, he adamantly insisted, “I’m not a pedophile. I’m just a pervert,” adding, “a law-abiding pervert.” He faces 52 counts. (2) In November in Osaka, Japan, an unnamed arrestee apparently had his sexual molestation charge (against a woman on a crowded train) dramatically downgraded. “Actually,” the man indignantly told the judge,
he is not a pervert—but just a pickpocket (a lesser crime). The victim had testified that the man had brushed against her for “3 seconds” and not the “30” she originally told police. WEIRD QUANTITIES RECENTLY IN THE NEWS u (1) Price tag for one round of a 155mm projectile shot from the Navy’s USS Zumwalt: $800,000. (2) Trees killed in California by the now-5-year-old drought: 102,000,000. (3) Recent finding of “water” farthest from the Earth’s surface: 621 miles down (one-third of the way to the Earth’s “core”). (4) Odds that Statistics Lecturer Nicholas Kapoor (Fairfield University, Fairfield, Connecticut) said he played against in buying a $15 Powerball ticket: 1 in 913,129 (but he won $100,000!). (5) Speed police calculated Hector Faire, 19, reaching in an Oklahoma police chase: 208 mph (but they got him, anyway). (6) Different languages spoken by children in Buffalo, New York, public classrooms: 85. HARDLY NEED A BREATHALYZER u (1) Michelle Keys, 35, among those joyously caught up in Iowa’s upset win over highly ranked Michigan in football in November and celebrating that night in Iowa City, was slurring and incoherent and told police she was certain she was standing in Ames, Iowa (120 miles away), and had just watched the “Iowa State Arizona” game (a matchup not played since 1968). (She registered .225) (2) A 38-year-old woman was arrested in Springwood, Australia, in November when police stopped her car at 3 a.m. at an intersection—with a children’s swing set wedged onto the roof of her SUV. (She had shortly before mistakenly driven through someone’s back yard and through the swing set.)
PERSPECTIVE u “Sexually-based offenses,” a TV show intones, are “particularly heinous,” but to the small Delaware liberal arts Wesley College (according to the U.S. Department of Education) even an accusation of sexual misconduct is so heinous that there was no need even to interview the alleged wrongdoer before expelling him. (An informal meeting did occur, but only after the investigation was completed.) The expulsion occurred even though the victim herself had not originally accused that particular student. The expelled student’s offense was to have helped set up video for a consensual sex encounter that was (without consent) live-streamed. (The Department of Education accepted a settlement in which Wesley agreed to revamp its code of student rights.) RECENT ALARMING HEADLINES u “Man Mixing LSD and Cough Syrup Saves Dog From Imaginary Fire” (WNYTTV, Albany, N.Y.), 10-15-2016). (Panicked, he had first sought help from neighbors—who were unpersuaded by the sight of a fireless fire.)
Australia, in November to keep from being stopped by police was to print “POLICE” in large, “official”-looking letters on the sides of her white Hyundai, using a blue dry-erase board marker. (She was, of course, quickly stopped by police.) THE PASSING PARADE u (1) In November, a court in Christchurch, New Zealand, ordered the local police to “undo” the 493 bottles’ worth of liquor they had recently poured down the city’s drain after raiding an unlicensed bar. The court said the police must pay a pumping company to recall the hooch because of environmental regulations. (2) In November, the Littleton, Colorado, city government, faced with the need to “blot” sticky tar on 120 streets whose potholes it was filling, bypassed expensive “detackifiers” in favor of stuffing toilet paper over the tar, causing the streets to have a trick-or-treat look.
A NEWS OF THE WEIRD CLASSIC (FEBRUARY 2013) u An estimated 3.2 million kids ages 5-12 take mixedmartial-arts classes, training to administer beatdowns modeled after the adults’ Ultimate Fighting Championships, according to a January (2013) report in ESPN magazine, which profiled the swaggering, Mohawked Derek “Crazy” Rayfield, 11, and the meek, doll-clutching fighting machine, Regina “The Black Widow” Awana, 7. Kids under age 12 fight each other without regard to gender, and blows above the collarbone, and on the groin, kidneys, and back are prohibited. “Crazy” delivered merciless forearm chest smashes before the referee intervened, and the Black Widow won her match in less than a minute via arm-bar submission. Parental involvement is said to be either “fear” of their child’s getting hurt or “encouragement” to be meaner.
u Santa Claus Speaks Out Against North Pole Ban of Marijuana Sales” (KTUU-TV, Anchorage) (Cannabis is legal in Alaska unless towns ban it, and the legally-named Mr. Claus needs it for cancer pain.) u “Dog On Loose Causes Sheep To Have Sex With Their Sisters in Walton On The Hill” (The wild dog has wrecked a planned mating program, leaving female sheep to canoodle with each other) LEAST COMPETENT ARTISTS u Apparently the plan by a 33-year-old unlicensed, uncar-registered driver in Perth, iReadCULTURE.com
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