The High 87 by International School of Lausanne

THE HIGH EDITION 87 | FEBRUARY 07, 2020

THE PARTY

Illustration by Jade Tan

STARTS AT 10 EDITOR-IN-CHIEF

Suhasini Mehra DEPUTY EDITOR

Khwaish Vohra

WORLD WAR III

BE MY VALENTINE

CATS REVIEW

Apocalypse Now?

Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ll buy you chocolate

Not a movie, an experience

EDITOR’S LETTER

t’s that time of the century again, guys: the 20’s! One thing I adore from the 1920’s was the swing music; now that it’s the 20’s again, do yourself a favor and look up Electro Swing. It’s thematically appropriate. A couple of things I didn’t like about the 1920’s were the measles, the rising facism, the festering wars, the normalized exploitation of the Global South, the futility of the women’s rights movement, and the wide disparity between the richest and poorest people - but history repeats itself, it seems, and in this rendition of the 20’s, we’ve added climate change and TikTok to the merry mix, too. But, silver linings: mock exams are over, and, hey, Year 13, we only have four months left before graduation. Well, that’s four months provided that Trump doesn’t start WWIII, the world doesn’t burn, or coronavirus doesn’t nix us all before then. Hang in there, guys. In some ways, the world is changing, and then, at the same time, it hasn’t really changed at all. But here, at The High, our task is the same as always: to provide you with entertainment, information, and unsolicited opinions. So, as the world crumbles around us, take a moment to flick through these

Suhasini Mehra

familiar pages and reconnect with the voices of your fellow students. Now, more than ever, hearing each other’s voices is important - hearing, and taking the time to listen. In this issue, Elif and Athan debate the consequences of the US/Iran conflict, while Khwaish examines the global degradation of democratic ideals. Pavi, Olivia, Sophie-Marie, and Neha examine the rumors surrounding the Year 10’s party culture. Tom gloats over the privileges of being a senior, Poppy pores nostalgically over potential yearbook photos, and Ellie teaches us to appreciate our generation. And, in the true spirit of Valentine’s Day, Alyssa calls out the types of people you will see on Feb 14th. Along with these stories, and others, you will also find an abundance of new songs, books, and movies to start your decade off right, so be sure to check those out. Seriously, please do - it took us almost two hours to put those playlists together. Happy 2020, everyone. I won’t suggest that you even try to make this decade a good one, but - let’s at least make it not worse than the last one. See you next time, and, in the wise words of Ellie Parsons, 2019: ‘‘Peace out, girl scouts.’’

EDITORS

Ellie Parsons Tanvi Anand Elif Civelekoglu Poppy Harrison Joseph Nobs Tom Secheyron Salim Markabi Athan Massouras Jade Tan Rohan Reagan

TABLE OF CONTENTS Year 10 Seniority Failure of Democracy World War III Social Media Fast Fashion Valentines Day

03 04 05 06-07 08 09 10

Yearbook Photos Playlist Read, Listen, Watch Our Generation Pop Music Cats Puff

10 11 12 13 14 15 16

THE PARTY STARTS AT 10

Neha Chakraborty, Olivia Kurali, Sophie-Marie Pasewald, and Pavithra Venkat Sridhar

ear 10s are a bunch of vodka-drinking, bathroom-vaping, marijuana-smoking party addicts. That’s what you think of us. We’ve heard it all. But the actual truth remains a deep secret hidden by all of us. Well, it was a secret. We’re here to spill all that piping hot tea you’ve been waiting for. We’re here to tell you what really goes on behind the cruel scenery of assumptions. Are we really all druggies?

criticize us because it’s an age of experimentation. Most who experiment with substances will turn away later on and few will become addicted. We have researched, found evidence, we interviewed teachers and even looked through the FCD surveys, but still, we could not find anything extraordinary. It is important to know that there are problems in every year group in a high school - not just ours.

People think the year 10s have started a new trend. One where the amount of people drinking has suddenly doubled and drug use is at an all-time high. Rumors are floating around that this year’s year 10s are some of the worst ISL has had so far. “People were caught vaping in school. There was a huge party over the weekend. They had vodka.” Yeah, the previous years did this too, but this year is “topping it off”. Everyone’s heard the stories. But how accurate are rumors?

In the past few years, teenagers have been more exposed to e-cigarettes and vaping devices than previous cohorts. Juuling is specifically marketed at a younger audience. A Juul looks sophisticated and modern and small enough to tuck into the back pocket of your jeans, and the flavors do sound inviting. But this isn’t an excuse to sprint off to the bathrooms for a mango vaping session. There have been plenty of homeroom discussions warning us about the risks, and by now, it’s common knowledge.

We’ve all heard a rumor that had at least three different twisted versions of it, each one worse than the previous. There’s a reason for that: they’re rumors and not facts. Someone hears (or mishears) a story, and as word travels it becomes more and more dramatic, and a story about someone smoking turns into a full-blown party with marijuana and six bottles of vodka. “Nobody says there’s a group of year 10 students who all went to each others’ house last weekend, watched a video and went to bed early. [People] talk about the fact that students are doing things like drinking alcohol in a park” said Mr. Foley. Are the current year 10s really bad, or are they all rumors? Year 10 students do not go partying and end up in trouble as often as everyone thinks. This year’s group may seem to be caught up in party culture, but serious incidents aren’t a regular occurrence. It is just that the ones that surface are blown up as the topic of gossip. Have you heard how year 10s are getting themselves into drugs, alcohol and partying at such an early age? What about year 11, year 12, year 13? There is a focus on year 10s, likely because we are so young. As people get older, they become more aware of what they can and can’t do. Year 10 is the first year of High School, so fingers automatically point towards us. It is natural for people to criticize the new generation, calling them spoiled, naive, or young. According to an older student, “This year’s year 10s are the worst ISL has ever had.” However, according to Mr. Spinks, who has been at ISL for 12 years, “year 10 is the age where some students will start experimenting with alcohol and cannabis… it has always been [like] this.” Year 10s are not 10-year-olds with juuls - most of these fourteen and fifteen-year-olds are responsible enough to make their own choices. People always look to our age group and

Peer pressure has played a major role in the so-called “behaviors” of the current Year 10s as individuals in the year group have been pressured by their peers to start smoking or taking drugs. People call it the cool fashion as smoking or juuling makes one seem cool. What is considered a social norm pushes students in this direction. People do drugs or smoke, as they want to belong to the so-called “cool” social circle. Nobody wants to be the boring one or an outsider! It’s this coolness that has affected our year. We make mistakes but we do learn from them. As Mr. Spinks said, “Don’t believe the hype!” The idea that it is cool to Juul. The idea that it is cool to be blackout drunk. The idea that missing class makes you popular. In the end, none of the hypes are cool or make you any better. People would much rather be friends with a truly authentic person than with one wearing a mask. What today’s society has become is a disappointment. The expectation of everyone having to be perfect 24/7 is wired into our brains. These expectations are unrealistic. Every high school student should be allowed to make mistakes. Some are more severe than others, but they will always happen. Year 10 is no different. At the end of the day, we are a group of curious teenagers who have their entire lives ahead of them to explore. On our journey, we will make mistakes. All we ask for is your understanding and that you stop making assumptions based on our mistakes. As disappointing as it might be for some of you, year 10 is not “the bad year”. We are nothing special. In fact, we are “normal“ just like all of you. Now, we are very sorry to anyone who thought they were going to get some dirt on our year group but the truth is quite harmless - it’s only influenced by assumptions.

SENIOR BENEFITS Tom Secheyron naps in the lounge

ear 13, or senior year as it is called in the United States, is a confusing, emotional time. It is regarded as the final year of childhood, the final year of being home with parents for most. Without question, this final year of mandatory school is special in many ways, and there are many advantages which come with seniority at schools all over the world, including ISL, but also the high school which I attended in the US for two years. At ISL, Year 13s get a spacious student lounge, whilst US high school seniors get student parking spots. Seniors in the US also get to enjoy the famous night known as prom, but this is counterbalanced at ISL by the incredible graduation day in which Year 13s not only have a ceremony but also an evening gala. So, where do you get the most advantages as a senior student: at ISL or at a typical American high school? Face-off below... Student lounge vs. student parking spots The first important point to settle this debate: spaces available for students on school facilities. ISL boasts a student-friendly lounge, where both studying and catching up on sleep can be achieved. Usually, tables for studying are filled with students during free periods whilst the beanbags lined up next to the wall are mainly used in the morning before homeroom. In general, the lounge is a very advantageous space as it is reserved for Year 13s and even has the oft-used ping pong table in order to procrastinate as much as needed. On the other hand, student parking spots in US high schools are very frequent. Entire parking lots will be dedicated for seniors, who usually all have their own car. This is a massive plus for students: no need to worry about finding parking around campus, and complete freedom from Mom, Dad and public transportation as well. More than this, parking spots on campus are usually reserved one semester or year at a time, meaning that you will always have somewhere to put your car, no matter if you are late to school. Verdict: American high schools take this one, as the advantages of guaranteed parking on a daily basis is just too good to be denied. ISL graduation day vs. Prom The graduation day at ISL is top notch stuff. There is absolutely no doubt about that. First, the day starts off with a massive ceremony at the EPFL’s Swiss Convention Center, a beautiful venue for a ceremony which is planned to the millimeter by students, teachers, and parents alike. To top it off, the day ends with a gala at the Olympic Museum in Lausanne, one of the most sought-after venues in the region. There, guests get to enjoy dinner, dancing, and pictures all at once to commemorate two years of the Diploma Programme but also the years leading up to it. American high schools, as much as they value graduation, are mostly known for prom. Often shown in movies and TV shows, prom is a staple of the American high school experience. Prom has it all: din-

ner, dancing, flamboyant dresses and slick suits, and even a celebrity appearance in some cases. The only caveat? The venue is decided solely by the year group’s ability to raise money in the three years of high school leading up to the event, meaning that if you are part of a year group which has absolutely no class spirit, you’re in for a not-so-memorable prom. Verdict: ISL takes this one, simply due to the significance of graduation, the outstanding planning which goes into it and the impressive venues which students get to enjoy for an entire day in June. Skipping the lunch line vs. massive prank day To choose a winner, small details make a massive difference. As a Year 13 at ISL, you get to skip the high school lunch queue and go into the North Campus cafeteria with middle schoolers, meaning you get your warm meal so much faster. Might not seem huge, but trust me, once you’ve done it once, you cannot imagine going back. American high schools, on their side, are notorious for their high-quality prank days, where many regular school rules are thrown out the window and seniors get to cause absolute chaos for an entire day: to younger students and teachers equally. Verdict: ISL. Why? Because getting a quick lunch just makes your day that much better, and ISL Year 13s get to carry out some pranks as well, despite the rather low amount of freedom they are given compared to American high school seniors. Final winners: ISL Year 13s

Illustration by Manon Libine

THE DECLINE OF DEMOCRACY

his winter break, I was amidst family and festivities in Mumbai, India. Despite the smoldering heat, unusual for this time of year, I was happy to be back; it had been two years since we had last visited and I was excited to catch up with all my relatives. There was one thing on my mind while I was enjoying the comforts of being back home: just days earlier, there had been murmurs of civil unrest in Delhi over an act Parliament was trying to pass: the Citizenship Amendment Act. Essentially, the act’s aim is to provide a path for citizenship for Hindu, Sikh, Buddhist, Jain, Parsi, and Christian religious minorities who had fled persecution from neighboring countries before December 2014. Notably, Muslims are not mentioned within this bill, even though they are around 14.2% of the population, making Islam the second-largest religion in India. So by not including them in this act, it seems as if the Parliament of India - led by majority party BJP - is sending a strong message: Muslims are not welcome within this country. This message is not particularly new. Within the tenure of the BJP party, religiously motivated attacks against Muslims have increased within the country with limited response from the government. What is new, however, is the blatancy of this particular attack. India has always been a secular country that prides itself on the fact that, constitutionally, all men and women are equal regardless of religion or race. The Citizenship Amendment Act directly defies this principle and seeks to undermine a religious group’s right to citizenship. It clearly shows the BJP party’s underlying motivation to make India a Hindu nationalist country. India is not the only country that has taken this nationalist turn. 2019 has been labeled as the Global Protest Wave, due to the abnormally large amount of protests that have occurred throughout the year, most of which ultimately stem from the desire for more political freedom from governmental political repression. If anything is to be learned from this wave of protests, it is that people are demanding change and perhaps it’s time we listen. Because so far, these protests have largely been met with the force of the police and suppression of speech. Increasingly, governments around the world are taking a stance of xenophobia and suppression over tolerance and acceptance. Within China, any attempt at uncovering the repressive government policy against Uighur Muslims has resulted in intimidation and threats. Even Uighur Chinese communities outside China are reluctant to speak up for fear of harm to their families or themselves. Sudanese protesters were met with internet blackouts and jail time. These examples are extreme, but their undertones are very similar to other events that have occurred throughout the past year. In July, the Trump Administration tried to include a question regarding a person’s citizenship status in the U.S.

Khwaish Vohra wants to be of voting age

Census. The move, which was eventually blocked by the Supreme Court, caused controversy because critics argued that this question would deter non-citizens from answering the census. In other words, this was either a cold political calculation or blatantly xenophobic. In fact, this move has quite a few parallels with the Citizenship Amendment Act in India - two governments seeking to redefine the population they preside over in order to benefit themselves, while at the same time outright rejecting the principles on which their country was founded. Within an increasingly polarized world, it can be easy to write these protests off as part of the ‘other side’s’ agenda. In fact, politicians will seize any opportunity to criticize those who oppose them, if it means that some of the heat gets taken off of them. But this is not productive for society, and it does not address the ultimate root of the problem- there has been an abuse of power and it must be addressed. We can all agree that power is the number one motivator behind most human actions, and this applies to politicians as well. Power is necessary to facilitate change, but power must be kept in check. If not, that leaves room for abuse imposed by a position of power. Democracies are founded on the idea that the people of the society should have the power to determine who they give power to. Fulfilling the people’s desires is the ultimate purpose of democracy, and the moment it does not meet this basic requirement, democracy has failed. A rejection of democratic ideals is dangerous for many reasons, but it is not fair nor accurate to characterize this rejection as solely the result of abuses of power. It stems, first and foremost, from an ignorant public. Dictators do not just come to power; they are given it. We choose who and what we believe in, and who we decide to give power to. When we allow our prejudices to rule our judgment instead of doing what is just, when we do not question the decisions of those in power, we open the door to the possibility of being preyed upon and manipulated because of our prejudices. Hatred is blinding: it conceals the gross miscarriages of justice that occur right under our noses. At the risk of sounding like a broken record, we need to learn from the mistakes of our past to avoid making them in the future. The worst atrocities of the past stemmed from a similar premise present today - a breakdown of democracy perpetuated by the presence of hatred, blind belief, and an abuse of power. In fact, history recently repeated itself when the Senate voted to acquit Trump of his impeachment charges. Blinded by political tensions and strained dynamics within the Senate, Trump was not subjected to a fair and thorough trial. The protests mentioned above are important and deserve to be heard and acted upon, and it is essential that we hold powerful people accountable because if we don’t, we stand at risk of losing our freedom and control over our lives and the world we live in.

Elif Civelekoglu

y now, everyone has heard about the possible World War Three, and forgotten about it once the memes got old. A trend that we are all familiar with is showing its head again. Something happens, lots of people get riled up, fake news and memes follow, everybody forgets about it after two weeks. Sound familiar? Firstly, let’s remember what the world is made up of countries. In order for a World War to occur, there needs to be multiple powerful countries involved with the war in the first place. Currently, there is no reason for countries such as China and Russia to assume a significant part of this conflict. This will prevent the conflict from going international, given that China and Russia are two superpowers of the world who are extremely influential. One of the main hashtags trending on January 3rd, 2020 was #FranzFerdinand. Many people drew parallels between Archduke Franz Ferdinand, heir presumptive to the Austro-Hungarian throne, and Qasem Soleimani, the Iranian major general in the Islamic Revolutionary Guard Corps (IRCG). Archduke Ferdinand was assassinated by the 19-year-old Serbian nationalist Gavrilo Princip in Sarajevo on June 28, 1914. Despite disapproving of the would-be king’s choice of his wife, Sophie Chotek, Austria-Hungary still needed Ferdinand, and thus declared war on Serbia, leading to a domino effect which resulted in World War One. Compare this to Soleimani. The United States government made an airstrike, personally approved by Donald Trump, the President of the United States. Soleimani was killed at Baghdad Airport by the two missiles fired from a drone. Iran’s supreme leader, Ayatollah Ali Khamenei, announced that Iran would have its revenge after the three days of mourning for Soleimani. On January 8th, 2020, Iran launched the military operation by the code name

THE DEBATE: Operation Martyr Soleimani. Multiple ballistic missiles were launched on the Ayn Asad Air Base, with no casualties. Since then, there has been no news of other attacks. The most obvious difference between Ferdinand and Soleimani is the title. Austria-Hungary was a monarchy, with the royal family being the country. An attack on a royal was an attack on the country. The equivalent to a royal in this situation is President Hassan Rouhani or the supreme leader himself. Soleimani was neither one of these two: he was a military man. He did have high prestige in Iran, yet he is still ranked lower than the President and supreme leader. Although a general ranks higher in Iran compared to in the US, thus holding more power, Soleimani was still a combatant. Additionally, the United States had already labelled the IRCG as a terrorist group. This meant that Soleimani was both a state actor and a terrorist, which changed the situation completely. If the US’s missiles had killed a civilian, then there would be a greater uproar, due to the Fourth Geneva Convention which made it so civilians were not to be harmed during the war. Soleimani was as far away from an Iranian civilian as can be, and was directing attacks against the US with the intention of causing harm. In order to go to war, a country needs its people’s support. This is something that Trump definitely does not have. Since the attacks on the US base, the only news that we have been hearing are criticisms aimed at Donald Trump for saying, “I heard they had headaches,’’ referring to the members of the US military injured due to the missiles. Recently, the Pentagon has updated the number of those injured, stating that 64 personnel have been diagnosed with mild traumatic brain injury. Trump’s popularity was rocky, to say the least, to begin with, and many Americans have made clear that he is “not their president”. Compared

Iran has sent the message, “We could have done it, but we didn’t.” to World War Two, which had a high number of Americans’ support, a good majority of Americans currently do not want a war against Iran. Instead, they are hating on Trump due to their belief that what he did was stupid and could have ended horribly. After firing the missiles, Iran has not acted anymore. It was retaliation for what had been done to Soleimani, and it is speculated that the attack was done to save face. Iraq received a warning of the missiles incoming, and the US was able to detect them via early warning systems. Therefore, no one was killed. Iran seems to have sent the message of “We could have done it, but we didn’t” through their actions, at least according to a US State Department official. Overall this event, while scary, has come to pass. It would be unreasonable to expect the US and Iran to just be friends now after decades of tension, but it is unlikely anything else to the bigger scale will happen. The US will continue to ensure that Iran’s economy is crushed, and Iran will still make small-scale attacks on US interests in the Middle East. If this teaches us anything, it is that you shouldn’t go onto social media for 3 days after a big event happens. The result will be like googling your symptoms for the common cold, and reaching the conclusion that you may have terminal cancer.

WORLD WAR III

n a recent drone strike in Iran, the United States government killed Iranian General Qasem Soleimani. Putting aside the legality of killing the leader of a sovereign nation, many have feared that this attack will escalate into a full US invasion of Iran, and by extension, World War 3. This might seem like a stretch, but there is a real argument for the occupation of Iran, so we must ask the question: are we all going to die? Unfortunately, there is significant precedent for the US invading a foreign country in the Middle East for no apparent reason. Both the US wars in Iraq and Afghanistan were at best controversial, and at worst a deliberate attempt orchestrated by the American government to topple the regime of two already unstable countries for their own interests. And a lot of people are all too familiar with the narrative the Trump administration has been spinning for the past few weeks. For one, the 2020 election is rearing its head, and although the Democrats haven’t picked a nominee yet, Trump’s approval rating has been steadily below 50% for almost his entire presidency, and practically every single Democratic candidate polls better than Trump in a one-on-one race. Quite famously, the Iraq war was started by George W. Bush at a very convenient time (right

before his election), and as a result, his approval rating shot up to 70%; the war arguably won him a second term. For another, the Trump administration has used a very similar line of attack to try to convince the American people to support the war: they lied. Their current stance is that Soleimani was an enemy of America after having killed Americans in the past, and was apparently planning an “imminent attack” on the United States. The thing is, the history of America in Iran is rife with CIA backed coups to protect the interests of oil companies (1953), and when pressed on the “imminent attack”, Secretary of State Mike Pompeo said that the administration didn’t know “precisely where or when” it was going to happen. This is uncomfortably similar to the vague “weapons of mass destruction” that the Bush administration used as an excuse to invade Iraq. There were no weapons of mass destruction, and members of Congress admitted that they knew so at the time, but they were still willing to lie to the public to get Bush a second term. And with Trump’s approval rating on the decline, in addition to a loyal party that has proved itself more than willing to lie on his behalf, a war with Iran might not be completely impossible.

Athan Massouras This is combined with a general hawkishness coming from both political parties in the US. Both in the Afghanistan and Iraq wars, Democratic leadership was all too eager to back the Bush administration in their lies and propaganda. Just last year, Trump was able to allocate another $22 billion to the existing $600 billion dollar military budget (for comparison, this is more than China, Russia, and the entire EU combined spend on their militaries, and the UN estimates that $200 billion dollars would be enough to end both world poverty and world hunger) with the support of 188 (a majority of) House Democrats. Ostensibly, there is no anti-war party in the US right now that could provide a counterweight to Trump’s consistent and dangerous escalation towards direct conflict with Iran. The issue is, a war with Iran would be far more dangerous than a war with Iraq. Iran is a more populous, influential, and militarily stronger country than Iraq. They have a far reaching influence on a number of different armed militias throughout the Arab world, in addition to an army funded with $43 billion and little regard for civil liberties (they are famous for executing members of the press, dissenters, and even children). This means that an invasion could have a potential death toll of millions. More broadly, Iran is the source of a significant amount of China’s oil supply, and is one of the two major powers in the Middle East. As a result, a war with Iran could quickly escalate into a bloody conflict in the Middle East and beyond, which would have some very powerful people as direct stakeholders. While an all out nuclear holocaust is unlikely, the escalation to a US invasion of Iran should worry anyone who isn’t a fan of millions of people dying in yet another pointless war.

Illustration by Sophia Ahmed

LIKE ME, LIKE ME NOT

eing 16 years old and living in a time where social media is one of the most relevant and talked-about subjects, I’m no stranger to remarks from older people being made about me “always being on my phone” or how my generation “doesn’t experience enough because we’re so tied to our phones”. I’ve always gotten defensive whenever these conversations start, convinced I’m not addicted to my phone and that technology hasn’t become all I am. But what if I actually was right? What if social media hasn’t actually ruined our generation? One of the biggest connotations social media holds is its effect on how teenagers develop socially and emotionally. Social skills are a key to everyone’s personality that vary drastically depending upon different experiences as well as genetic makeup. Social media, however, is not necessarily one of the factors which influence this part of our lives. There are a set of natural changes when it comes to social development. Friendships change drastically over the course of the four years we spend in high school. Following an interview I did with our high school counsellor, Ms Vivian, I learned more about these natural changes. When asked about the differences in social skills across the different years in high school, she responded “Friends and the notion of friendship goes from being based on activities and having fun together and doing things together, to more of a, almost like a family type relationship in which friendships are rooted in a connection and a kind of mutual support.” She later went on to explain how this is mainly due to the end of high school and preparation for independence. It’s natural to rely more on the relationships you make in high school - you’re all going through the same, equally hard times. It is also because you start to distance yourself from your family as you prepare to be independent. During the initial two years of high school, like

Ms Vivian said, friendships are based more on doing things together. There is a drastic difference between the intentions of friendships and rewards you get from them. However, the correlation of these differences and social media itself is very minimal, almost non-existent. The correlation with the use of social media is a different story. Studies have shown that excessive use of these platforms can lead to negative effects on relationships. This is also true for emotional development and the link to stress and anxiety as well. During my interview with Ms Vivian, along with social development, she talked about the natural changes in emotional development. According to her, the biggest change is self-advocacy. While students in years 10 and 11 are much more reluctant to seek help and admit there’s something wrong or that they’re not feeling 100%, students in years 12 and 13 are much more motivated to feel better. She says this comes along with students, in her words, “wanting to feel better, wanting to have a good life.” While this isn’t meant to imply that younger high school students don’t want these things as well, it just shows how much of a difference there is simply with age. In terms of the connection with social media, it’s not necessarily the presence of social media which causes this, but the natural pressure people feel when using it. It enhances a need for validation almost all young people already experience but doesn’t necessarily cause differences with older high school students. However, this too is a matter of usage. The enhancement comes from more of allowing those social media platforms to have a large presence in your life. Therefore proving that social media isn’t a cause in itself, but more so the frequency of using social media. The same is true for stress and anxiety. While the idea that social media causes problems with mental health, it has been found that it is, in fact, the opposite. According to a study done

Macy Johns looks at both sides of the Insta story by a group of researchers in Canada, people with depressive symptoms are more inclined to use social media more frequently. While this all shows how social media isn’t the underlying cause for all things, there is still an impact on the well-being of teenagers and people in general. Social media is not bad. There are many positive effects it has on all of our lives; empathy, ability to make friends, speed of communication, building relationships etc. It is really a matter of how we use it. A study at the University of Oslo found that frequent and aimless use of social media can lead to increased narcissism and superficial relationships. These are easy things to overcome though. Scroll with a purpose. The negative impacts occur when you spend extensive amounts of time scrolling through all of your social media platforms with no set intention. Ration your screen time. Social media is great when used in smaller and more reasonable amounts of time. But when is it too much? According to an article in the Huffington Post, cutting down to around 30 minutes a day will lead to a significant improvement in well-being. This is probably a drastic drop to what we’re used to spending on social media a day, some could almost say unrealistic. However, the same article also mentions that spending just slightly less time on social media than you’re used to will show decreased feelings of loneliness and depression. Social media is a part of our lives and will continue to be so. It is not something to be ignored or shamed or blamed for our issues. What it has done is revolutionize the ease in which we communicate, learn, and express ourselves. It is not the platforms which are at fault for any negative effects, but the intentions of the users. Put in its most simple form: we are responsible for what does and doesn’t affect us in both negative and positive ways.

WORSE FOR WEAR Kaia Grabowska wore the same t-shirt twice!

et me guess what you’re wearing right now. Is it a t-shirt from Zara? Or maybe a sweater from H&M? It looks nice, doesn’t it? But how long can you wear the same t-shirt? Once, twice? There’s also another problem… The tops from Brandy Melville stretch out and the hoodies look saggy after washing them… But that’s ok! The shops are close by, prices are low and you can just go and buy another t-shirt. Maybe you’ll see something new you’ll like! The old clothes will end up in the bin, that’s not the end of the world, is it? Although clothing production hasn’t been associated with a negative impact on the environment in the past, nowadays a conversation about the sustainability of fashion is continuously more prominent, especially in regards to fast fashion brands, whose clothing is the one we usually reach for while shopping. Fast fashion brands aim to capture the latest trends, releasing a number of new, cheap and quickly created products on a weekly basis. Their clothes are fashionable and because trends come and go, it’s easier to chase them without it hurting our wallets. The fast fashion business model sounds like a great deal to customers, nevertheless, it’s not an amazing “deal” for the environment. With low prices of clothing comes low quality products. How overwhelming is the sorrow that engulfs us when our new favorite 10CHF t-shirt is destroyed after we wash it? The destroyed clothing is quickly dumped in a bin and the customer heads up to shop again, without wondering what will happen with the disposed item. It comes as a surprise to many when they find out that the fashion industry remains one of the most polluting industries in the world and is responsible for 10% of global carbon emissions and 20% of global water waste. Fashion is an enormous business, estimated to be worth $1.2 trillion. With the amount of cloth produced every day, the disposal is gigantic and exceeds the availability of places to dispose the waste. Countries continuously look for ways to get rid of used clothing. Some export to developing countries, yet, sorting companies often decline to transport clothing coming from fast fashion brands, as it gets easily destroyed and won’t last long for people in need. As a result, 80% of the produced clothing ends up in landfill, where it takes up to 200 years to decompose. During that time, the clothing releases methane a harmful for the environment greenhouse gas. Above that, the vibrant and bright colours of clothing are achieved by using toxic chemicals, which pollute clean water and the ground. Even commonly used clothing materials, such as polyester, harm the environment. When put into a domestic washing machine the polyester clothing sheds microfibers which end up in the ocean, increasing the level of plastic there. The microfibers are not biodegradable, thus they pose a danger to marine life.

Aside from the environmental impact, the fast fashion industry affects people who produce the clothing. Most of the clothes that we wear are produced in Asia, due to low labour costs. Workers earn miserable wages, work for up to 16 hours a day and are usually forbidden from forming unions in order to prevent them from protesting for their rights. Furthermore, the working conditions of the employees are scandalous. They are exposed to toxic substances and work in unsafe buildings, with no ventilation. In textile factories there is a problem with child labour and abuse. Although fast fashion brands are partially right when arguing that they provide jobs for people living in poverty, it is important to consider the conditions in which our sparkly tops and fashionable jeans are produced. But what can you, as a student, do about the fast fashion industry? In the past year climate awareness has been raised and the conversation about the climate crisis is more prominent. About 80% out of 108 ISL students I surveyed claimed that they want to lead a more environmentally friendly lifestyle. Nevertheless, 63% of the people who answered said that the majority of the items they own come from fast fashion brands. In order to help the environment we ought to become more aware of the environmental and social impacts that the fashion which we purchase has. Instead of buying fast fashion pieces, it is worth considering purchasing items that are more expensive, however of better quality. There are a number of sustainable brands as well as high fashion brands that produce clothing that will last you for years. Even though in the moment it may seem like a waste of money, in the long run it is an investment and with time the item will pay its price. Another way to make your shopping environmentally friendly is to buy clothes from friends or online retailers. We all have clothes that we no longer wear, but someone else might, so why not sell them? Above that, it is worth going to a thrift or vintage store. The second-hand shops are very cheap and prevent clothes from ending up in a bin. Even though thrift and vintage shopping requires patience and searching for items, it is an opportunity to find unique clothing pieces that no one else except you will have. Becoming more conscious of our consumption is the first big step we need to take in order to live a more sustainable life. With social media constantly trying to persuade us that we need to have more it is easy to get caught in a vicious cycle of constantly buying more and feeling like it’s never enough. It is important to become a reasonable shopper who doesn’t get carried away with new fast fashion trends and offers. Just remember, next time when you’re at the mall and want to buy that white shirt, think twice and make a conscious decision.

GO LOVE YOURSELF

alentine’s Day is all about the celebration of love and romance. Invisible pink and red hearts drift with the wind and Sweethearts are served as dessert. This celebration gives couples a chance to express their love and lone wolves to love themselves or eat ice cream whilst watching a rom-com. Some simply don’t care. In a way, Valentine’s Day can be an enjoyable holiday for all those singles out there. They have an excuse to go out and buy themselves a box of chocolates. Watching a film with a bundle of blankets and takeout sounds delightful. Some beg to differ. This day is a reminder of their single-ness and a sign that it may be time to start searching for love. After all, listening to sappy couples talk about their plans for this special day may not be the most amusing activity. Unfortunately, some people also get their hearts broken close

to or even on Valentine’s. Their relationship isn’t doing the best and sometimes, it’s best to just break things up. This can be painful but on the bright side, no one will judge you if you want to cry to your sad playlist whilst stuffing cupcakes down your throat. Ultimately, February 14th is about love and a clean breakup will give you the opportunity to reflect on your own personal love story and form your new game plan. Then, there are the relationship-thirsty people. Like vampires yearning for blood, these people use this day as a real life dating app. They try to serenade their crush through cheesy words or a cheese pizza. In fact, they probably have a Valentine’s Day countdown app on their phone. But there’s two sides to every romance novel. You will always find that one person who is unsure of their Valentine’s Day plans. Should they proclaim their love for that special

PHOTOGRAPHIC MEMORIES

magine being told that you had to sum up the entirety of your life in 10-15 photos. Difficult, isn’t it? Nevertheless, that was the demand made of the graduating class of 2020 over the past couple of weeks, and needless to say, a number of students found the task both difficult and daunting. Obviously, there was the easy option of just choosing the first 10 photos that you found in the favorites album that was already stored conveniently on your phone. But option B, and a choice that many students opted for, was scrolling devotedly through photo albums and rummaging through old USB drives to find the photos that you will be able to look fondly back on when you think about your first 18 years. Clearly, finding pictures of your baby selves is not exactly a straining task,

but it definitely provided the opportunity for year 13 to reflect on everything that they have (or haven’t) accomplished over the past few years. When looking at photos from childhood memories and of a likely more carefree time, it is almost inevitable that a sense of nostalgia would kick in. A lot of students, including myself, have been waiting excitedly for the moment to choose the pictures that will be seen on their own graduating page, but when the decisions had to be made, there was a sad feeling of finality, as though these photos signaled the beginning of the end of our time at ISL. Despite the excitement of graduating, and moving on to the next chapter of our lives, a lot of students seem to be disregarding the enjoyment and passion that ISL has been able to provide to the lives of their students. Yet ex-

Alyssa Wei someone or keep their passion in their heart, which beats twice as fast when they catch sight of their flame? Last but not least, there are a few couples here and there in the controversial scene of Valentine’s Day. They brainstorm gifts weeks in advance and save up money to purchase something impressive. Flower shops arrange ten times the regular amount of rose bouquets to accommodate those last minute gift-givers. Some partners can’t help but smile when they think of their Valentine’s day (and night) plans. At the end of the day, it doesn’t really matter which category you fit into. Spread love and you will receive love in return. Be selfish and purchase a box of heart-themed sugar cookies at the grocery all for yourself. The only thing for certain is: love is in the air.

Poppy Harrison ploring the photos of past selves has given the year 13s the opportunity to reconnect with their past, and, better yet, with the people that they shared these photographed memories with. Despite the stress that is accumulating as exams rapidly approach, the photos were an acute reminder of everything that has brought us to where we are now. They remind us that compared to where we were, when we were toddling around embarrassing ourselves, we are almost finished. So ultimately, despite the tedious nature of the search, the reward was worth the effort, and hopefully the yearbook will be truly representative of the class of 2020.

THE SIX STAGES OF VALENTINES

The Late Night Pizza Crew

FALLING IN LOVE

Düm Tek Tek - Hadise Please Please Please Let Me Get What I Want - The Smiths Would You Be So Kind - Dodie Green - Cavetown Can’t Help Falling in Love - Elvis Presley Notice Me - Alli Simpson

WHAT IS LOVE? (AM I IN LOVE?) What Is Love - Haddaway I Really Like You - Carly Rae Jepsen What Makes You Beautiful - One Direction Just A Taste - Rachael Soglin & Joey Richter Paradise - George Ezra Something - The Beatles

IN LOVE

Lover - Taylor Swift I Got You Babe - Sonny & Cher Something Just Like This - Chainsmokers I Think We’re Alone Now - Tiffany She’s The One - Bruce Springsteen Perfect - Ally Brooke

TROUBLE IN PARADISE Just Give Me A Reason - P!nk (Feat. Nate Ruess) Perfect - Selena Gomez The Thrill of First Love - Falsettos Teeth - 5 Seconds of Summer It’s My Party - Lesley Gore Nicotine - Panic! At The Disco

THE BREAKUP

I Have Questions - Camila Cabello Pagan Poetry - Björk Bang Bang (My Baby Shot Me Down) - Nancy Sinatra Long Way Home - Jukebox The Ghost Goodbye My Danish Sweetheart - Mitski Liability - Lorde

MOVING ON (OR NOT)

Thank U, Next - Ariana Grande Shout Out to My Ex - Little Mix Back To You - Selena Gomez Can’t Remember To Forget You - Shakira (Feat. Rihanna) Stay High - Tove Lo Miss Movin’ On - Fifth Harmony

READ, WATCH, LISTEN

Tanvi Anand

THE RINGS OF SATURN,

COMPILATION 001

W.G. SEBALD

CORKSCREW RECORDS

ebald writes novels for those who find that the past always catches up to them—that it finds its way seeping into our everyday lives and conversations. The Rings of Saturn follows its narrator along the east coast of England and documents—along curious photographs—his sightings. These are surely places, people, and moments of history that have significance to only a select few, but Sebald through his prose style and peculiar choice of photographs that elevate the mundane to a point that which the narrators memories almost become our own. A stand out chapter is Sebald’s description and recollection of the natural history of the herring, their supposed inability to feel pain and how they glow after they die; arguably, this is the most alive the fish has ever been. To describe Sebald in one word it would be life-affirming. Amongst the decay and isolation that lays between Sir Thomas Browne’s skull and Norwich’s once prosperous silk industry, the resilience of the narrator’s memories can help any reader draw inspiration from the quotidien. I cannot recommend this enough, 5/5.

Yes, this is a shameless self-insert.

THE BABYSITTER

“Utter trash. Poor in every respect” Caroline Westbrook, Empire.

he Babysitter is the type of movie you would watch at 1AM during a sleepover. It’s one of those direct-to-Netflix films that feature Z-list celebrities who should have never been given an acting role in the first place. That’s the point of the film, though. The Netflix algorithm knows exactly what we want: we love watching trashy horror films with bad acting. The extremely nonsensical and unclear plot follows a young boy named Cole, who has been left with a babysitter while his parents spend some “passionate time together” at a nearby hotel room. Unsurprisingly, the babysitter in question is part of a satanic cult and invites her friends over to perform a sacrifice once Cole is tucked into bed. Cole, a naturally curious spirit is faced with a dilemma: should he jump out of bed and investigate, or should he stay in bed and let the ritual happen? The Babysitter features Bella Thorne, Samara Weaving, and Robbie Amell.

orkscrew Records is a small bedroom-based label from Lausanne, Switzerland. Their compilation, corkscrew compilation 001, is comprised of a diverse range of voices from all over the world. Corkscrew compilation 001 cannot be shoved into a single genre: with a woozy experimental track by Leeds-based producer Sofa King (cheeky name) to a guitar-based pop banger by born and bred Nashville musician Rella, there is really something for everyone. Each artist on the compilation has their own unique story and additional information on the artists can be viewed on the corkscrew records instagram, @corkscrewrecs. Some highlights on the compilation include “Intervention” by Rella, “Before Leaving” by Take Care, and “Sheela Na Gig” by Maeve Aickin.

Z FOR ZEPPELIN Ellie Parsons longs for the good new days

ach generation is envious of the one preceding it—ours is no exception to this. Set in 1976, a teenager in cult classic film “Dazed and Confused” remarked that “the 50s were boring, the 60s rocked, and the 70s… oh god, well they obviously suck.” Our yearning for the 90s and 80s—as reflected in recent fashion and the youth’s social media posts’ adamancy that they were “born in the wrong generation”— are not exclusive to us. However, with a little exploration, we can gain an appreciation for our own era and fully embrace it; we can uncover the gems in our culture and value them just as much as we value the art and culture of the past. As opposed to shunning all the art made today into a box of stereotypically autotuned and overproduced pop music about sex, drugs, and alchohol, we can appreciate depth that is out there, which can even rival the artists of the past. A sense of comfort and possible fulfillment can be found when you realize that great art is being made at this very moment in time—and not just decades ago. With the start of the new year, there has been discourse about the 1920s circulating online. Specifically, about whether the 2020s will be as artistically prosperous as the 1920s—which has literary titles such as Ulysses, Mrs Dalloway, and The Wasteland to its repertoire This is part of the wider debate that there are fewer great authors—or artists in general—alive today, along with the annual claim that great music and literature is obsolete. It is incredibly easy to dismiss today’s art entirely but that dismissal can seem overly pessimistic; as much as creative pursuits are solitary endeavours, it can be argued that seeing other artists—or any other individuals—prosper can be motivating. It’s the idea that prospering as an individual can inadvertently lead others to do so as well. And it’s at this point that great artists of our generation should be highlighted; if there are artistic geniuses in generations past, there surely exist artistic geniuses today. And many of the great artists of the past were not recognised as geniuses at the time—Kafka and Keats to name a few. With social media, there lies a perfect opportunity to search for the great artists of our era—perhaps those who are overly focused on the art of the past are not looking for the art that is being created today. The most popular form of “I was born in the wrong generation” can be found in the humble Youtube comment. They typically write something along the lines of “I am 13 years old, but I prefer The Doors to Taylor Swift, I was born in the wrong generation!”, and although there can be some humour hidden in those types of comments, they do reveal a romanticisation of the past and a disdain towards the present. This is not nearly as harmful as it is disappointing; there are many great artists making music during our time—but they are often limited by this somewhat reductionary approach to “our generation’s music”. This

is where exploration can come into play, for I have heard The Doors and think they would like artists such as John Maus and Arthur Russell—and let’s not forget that older artists such as Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds released their (arguably) best album all the way back in 2016. Perhaps there exists an unspoken expectation that the pinnacles of art will be handed to us on a plate, but with social media, we are as free as ever to partake in our own exploration of art being made today. And not only can we discover such art, but we can promote and share it with ease. Artists that would be usually silenced can be propelled into the spotlight with the help from social media; something we should take full advantage of. Even the sharing of art has taken entirely new forms in this century—with Radiohead’s “pay what you want” when they released In Rainbows, or with Kanye’s release of The Life of Pablo at Madison Square Garden. One can predict these are the types of artists that the following generations will praise as we do Bowie or Kate Bush. I take “I was born in the wrong generation” comments as a slap in the face to all the great innovators of the 21st century, and I urge everyone to peer beyond what is given to you and sink deeper into the work of our own creatives. I don’t think geniuses should be handed to us; I think they deserve to be discovered if only to avoid endless posthumous publishing of authors or musical artists that deserved recognition at the time of creation. And I challenge both myself and you, the reader, to be more curious about our generation; to fully embrace it for what it is rather than look to the past as the sole source of inspiration. Illustration by Jade Tan

WHAT MAKES MUSIC POP

usic is a fundamental part of our lives. We hear it all the time, whether over speakers in a shopping centre, a song stuck in the back of your head like a pest, or out of someone else’s headphones playing music too loudly on the bus. Music comes in many different genres, and everyone has their own tastes or preferences: music that they love with all their heart, and music that they hate with a passion unheard of. However, with every era, there is a ‘mainstream’ taste which often consists of musicians that the majority of people enjoy listening to. What makes these musicians so popular, and what are the similarities between them? For starters, what even is popular music? Popular music is usually referred to as pop music, but really it simply represents the most popular songs at the time. So what are the key characteristics of Pop Music? As an IB Music student, I’ve actually studied pop music quite extensively - drawing information from the IB Music Revision Guide to help me. According to the revision guide, popular music can be defined by the following key characteristics: 1. 2.

3. 4.

“Most pop music is in common time” (4/4 time) “Almost all pop music is based around songs with a structure built from sections (introduction, verse, bridge, chorus, middle eight, instrumental solos, coda) “Simple harmonies” Most typically, the instruments used in pop music are; guitars, basses, drums, keyboards and of course a lead singer. “New sounds from synthesizers can be applied as well.”

Sharmila Joy gets into the groove Despite that, many of the greatest hits of the decade don’t fit this style of writing music. The most popular song of 2019 was in fact “bad guy” by Billie Eilish. This song had a very interesting chord loop of Gm-Cm-D7. This song is played in the key of Gm, so the chord progression is I-IV-V7. It is similar to the four chord song but it is more interesting because of the added seventh chord, and only having 3 chords in a loop. We are currently in the second month of a new decade, which means a new chance to experiment with musical ideas. For example, in the 1980s, digital synthesizers were extremely popular. This decade, from the perspective of a teenager, rap and hip hop music seem to be very popular. Similar to how jazz eventually evolved into cool jazz, exciting pop music has developed into a more cooled down version. However, there isn’t anything specific that makes a song instantly popular. We as humans are more drawn to songs that have interesting rhythms, or catchy melodies. The four chord song is often used because the simplicity of the harmonies make the song more catchy, which in turn, makes it more likeable. So, what should you do? There is so much to listen to, and there’s no real way to ensure popularity, because music is constantly changing. Never say that you “don’t like” an entire genre of music, because in reality you might like it one day. Experiment with your music taste, and go outside of your comfort zone. There are countless up and coming musicians in new genres that haven’t been discovered yet. Discover them for yourself, and then share the music with everyone around you.

Don’t worry if you don’t know some of the vocabulary in that list, if I’m being honest, I don’t either. However, there are certain parts of that list that can be expanded on. For example, point 4: “Simple Harmonies”. Ever heard of the four chord song? The four chord song is a term used by musicians to describe the very generic four chords used to structure a majority of pop music. The four chords are chords I, IV, V and vi. In the key of C-major that would consist of chords C, F, G, and Am. There is a countless list of songs that use these four chords, including but not limited to;

Faded by Alan Walker Demons by Imagine Dragons Despacito by Luis Fonsi Hello by Adele Hey Brother by Avicii Love by Lana del Rey Nobody’s Perfect by Hannah Montana (Miley Cyrus) Numb by Linkin Park Poker Face by Lady Gaga

Illustration by Sherry Chen

CAT-ASTROPHE

ats is not so much a movie I watched as it is a movie that happened to me. It’s difficult to know where to start with this strange, surreal, LSD-trip of a film, so let’s start at the beginning, in 1953, when T.S. Eliot sat down one fine day and decided to write Old Possum’s Book Of Practical Cats, a story about some jellicle cats preparing for the jellicle ball under the jellicle moon. Got that? Good, me neither. Let’s proceed. In 1981, Andrew Lloyd Webber decided to bring Cats to the stage in the form of a sung-through musical, featuring bodysuits, industrial amounts of face-paint, and a glorious cast of 80’s hairstyles. At 38 years old, it is the fourth-longest-running musical on Broadway—although it maintains a sort of Marmite-esque status, in that people tend to either hate it or love it. Given Cats’ extreme Broadway success, one might say that it existed in the right medium already, and that trying to squeeze still more money out of it, as Hollywood is wont to do these days, was, perhaps, not quite the best idea. Which brings me to today. In the early 2000’s, Universal Studios bought the rights to the film, but it wasn’t until 2016 that Tom Hooper was announced as the director, and not until Christmas of 2019 that the film was released—and then re-released, owing to the fact that the original version’s editing was only completed at 6am the morning of the premiere. The movie lost 70 million dollars, and received a 20% approval rating on Rotten Tomatoes. Since Christmas, the Internet has been flooded with memes, scathing reviews, and, equally a whole lot of love for the film. So, what exactly is going on with Cats? Let me explain. I should, perhaps, begin with the jellicle in the room: as you may have gathered from the memes, these cats are, and how shall I put this… rather eager for intimate relationships with each other. I should point out that this is actually a bigger problem in the musical, but then, the cats in the musical are markedly less naked-looking than the ones in the movie, so it evens out. This issue is exacerbated by the fact that some of the cats wear clothes, while others don’t, and some start out wearing clothes and later remove them—which seems to imply that these cats are, in fact, prancing around in the nude. On the subject of clothes, I have to spare a moment to talk about the fur coats. Yes, that’s right: some of these cats, including the colony leader, Old Deuteronomy, wear cat-sized coats made from the fur of, presumably, other cats. Given that Dame Judi Dench quite ostentatiously wears an apparently cat-sized wedding ring on her extremely human fingers, despite the glaring absence of any partner in the movie, it is my personal belief that that coat is, in fact, her late mate. Speaking of unspeakably disturbing creative choices, no Cats

Suhasini Mehra claims Cats broke into her home and punched a hole through her drywall

review could be complete without mention of the mice: the cute little mice with the faces and voices of human children that Jennyanydots holds captive, forcing them to sing and dance for her, and maybe eating them as well—although that is, mercifully, left ambiguous. Not so in the case of her captive cockroach army, also with human faces, whom she devours alive while they shriek in incomprehensible agony. But enough about the little things. Let’s talk about the story: because there is one, vague and unintelligible though it may be. The premise of the film is that the jellicle cats have gathered to sing songs about themselves at the jellicle ball, an annual competition judged by Old Deuteronomy. What are these cats competing for, you ask? Oh, it’s quite straightforward: death. The cats believe that by dying (i.e. being yeeted into the sun in a flying chandelier) they can be reborn into a better life. And these cats are eager to die—in fact, the cat who is finally chosen spends most of the movie as a social pariah, and her being chosen to die is presented as the ultimate show of acceptance of her by the jellicle community. (Although, if you still have one or two brain-cells left by this point of the movie, you might be wondering why, if they wanted to give her a better life, they couldn’t have just let her back into the group.) There’s a lot to unpack here, but, personally, I have only one question: in a world with magic cats, philosophy cats, mischief-making cats, gumpy cats, and pirate cats… did no one think to try being a Therapy Cat? There is so much more I want to cover in this review, but, in the interest of space, I’m going to skip over Jennifer Hudson’s near-industrious snot production, Taylor Swift’s conspicuously large cat chest, and Jason Derulo’s milk kegs. Instead, I’m going to focus on the one thing that made this movie worth it: The Grey Cat. This cat (whose name, Munkustrap, is not mentioned once in the 110-minute film) serves as the narrator and seems to be the leader when Old Deuteronomy is not around. And, at least in my interpretation, his relationship with Old Deuteronomy gives me the distinct vibe of… let’s call it “transactional intimacy”. He also, over the course of about three minutes, experiences the full spectrum of human emotion, without saying a word. Robbie Fairchild as Munkustrap carries the entire movie, and I’d watch it a hundred times over for him and him alone. At the end of the movie, Old Deuteronomy stares directly into the camera and informs us, “Now you understand cats.” No, Judi, I really don’t. What I do understand, though, is that Cats, fever dream that it is, will be immortalized in time as my new favorite meme-watch. Cats is out of cinemas, but as soon as it becomes available online, I would encourage all of you to gather a group of friends, some Wholesome Tap Water, and a pair of cat ears, and watch this movie. And then you, too, will truly be a jellicle cat. Whatever the jellicle that means.

THE DOLLY PUFFTON CHALLENGE

WORDSEARCH: VALENTINE

The High 87

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CAT-ASTROPHE