Island Parent Celebrating
27 Years
The Resource Publication for Vancouver Island Parents
April 2015
Special Needs Programs & Services
What Do You Dream of Becoming? ask, listen & Prepare to be amazed
5 Do’s & Don’ts to Help Deal with Bullying a Parent’s Guide
The Space Where Friendships Grow More Muscle, Less Machine the benefits of Switching to Human-Powered transportation
Summer Camp Fun
FAMILY SERVICES OF GREATER VICTORIA Formerly BC Families in Transition
899 Fort Street 250.386.4331 www.fsgv.org Individual, Couple and Family Counseling Parenting Coaching Relationship Referee Parent-Teen Mediation Specialized Children’s Therapy Services Divorce and Separation Legal Information and Mediation Caught in the Middle Parenting with a New Partner Parenting After Separation Serving Greater Victoria Since 1978
Experience the precision of customized vision Curiosity • Diversity Exploration • Nature Play-Oriented Learning
Dr. Joslin, Dr. Morin & Associates Doctors of Optometry
Langford: #105–814 Goldstream Ave 250-474-4567 www.langfordoptometrists.com
250-477-3731 arbutusgrove.ca
Optician: An Optician is an eye-care professional who is trained to design, fit and sell eyeglasses and contact lenses. Optometrist: An Optometrist is a doctor of optometry who performs comprehensive eye examinations for their patients. They focus on all aspects of vision and overall eye health, including prescription of eyewear.
Register Now for September 2015
3905 Haro Road, Victoria BC
Do you know your 3 “O’s”?
Sooke: #5–6726 West Coast Rd 250-642-4311 www.sookeoptometrists.com
New Patients Welcome
Ophthalmologist: An Ophthalmologist is a medical doctor who specializes in the diagnosis and treatment of eye diseases. Many ophthalmologists are also eye surgeons. They perform surgeries and laser treatments on the eye. You have to be referred to see an Ophthalmologist by either your Doctor of Optometry or Family Physician. Not all diseases and conditions of the eye have symptoms. Full health eye examinations for both children and adults are integral to help solve issues before they happen. All three of these professionals are dedicated to you and your eye health. Book your eye examination today!
Summer Active Living Guide
View Online
April 6
Registration
April 8
Reserve your space for our summer camps, classes and programs. Printed copies available at: • Cedar Hill Recreation Centre • Pearkes Recreation Centre • Gordon Head Recreation Centre • Saanich Commonwealth Place • Pepper’s Foods • Tru-Value Foods Cordova Bay • Any Saanich Thrifty Foods or Public Library
saanichrec.ca IslandParent.ca
April 2015 1
Island Parent Celebrating
27 Years
on for Vancouver Island
The Resource Publicati
Parents
April 2015
Special Needs Programs & Services
What Do You Dream of Becoming? Ask, Listen & Prepare to Be Amazed
5 Do’s & Don’ts to lying Help Deal with Bul e A Parent’s Guid
The Space Where Friendships Grow Machine More Muscle, Lessching to The Benefits of Swit sportation Human-Powered Tran
Summer Camp Fun
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islandparent.ca 250-388-6905 2
Island Parent Magazine
Contents: April 2015 Articles More Muscle, Less Machine ........................................................................... 8 International Children’s Book Day ............................................................... 10 What Do You Dream of Becoming?.............................................................. 11 The Space Where Friendships Grow ............................................................. 12 5 Do’s & Don’ts to Help Deal with Bullying................................................. 16 Summer Camp Fun ...................................................................................... 20 How Much Is Enough?................................................................................. 24 Special Needs Resources ............................................................................... 34 Signs of Depression in Teens ......................................................................... 36
Columns Editor’s Note .................................................................................................. 3 Is There an App for This? ............................................................................. 38 Healthy Families; Happy Families ................................................................ 40 Just Eat It! .................................................................................................... 43 Book Nook .................................................................................................. 44 New Parent Pages ......................................................................................... 48 Dadspeak ..................................................................................................... 52 Nature Notes ............................................................................................... 54 Cut It Out .................................................................................................... 56
Departments IPM Notes...................................................................................................... 4 Party Directory....................................................................................... 22, 23 Family Calendar ........................................................................................... 28 Around the Island ........................................................................................ 32 Family Services Directory ............................................................................. 46 Preschool & Child Care Directory.......................................................... 50, 51 Business & Professional Directory ................................................................ 53 Island Parent Magazine, produced by Island Parent Group Enterprises Ltd., is a monthly publication that honours and supports parents by providing information on resources and businesses for families, and a forum for the exchange of ideas and opinions. Views expressed are not necessarily those of the publisher. Letters (max 250 words) should be emailed to the Editor at editor@islandparent.ca. No material herein may be reproduced without the permission of the Editor. Unsolicited manuscripts are welcome and should be emailed to editor@islandparent.ca. Island Parent Magazine is distributed free in selected areas. Subscriptions can be obtained by sending $32.00 (includes GST) with your name and address to the address below. Canada Post: Canadian Publications Mail Sales Product Agreement 40051398.
Island Parent Magazine
830-A Pembroke St, Victoria, BC V8T 1H9 Tel: 250-388-6905 Websites: islandparent.ca, kidsinvictoria.com Publisher/Owner: Mark Warner Editor: Sue Fast Sales & Marketing: RaeLeigh Buchanan Publisher’s Assistant & Sales: Linda Frear Distribution: Ray Cutts, Ted Dawe (Mid-Island) Founders: Jim Holland & Selinde Krayenhoff Production: Eacrett Graphic Design Printed at Black Press, Victoria Cover printed at Hillside Printing ISSN 0838-5505
on the Cover: Daniel K. (4) Cover Photo: Rebecca Wellman of Rebecca Wellman Photography, rwellmanphotography.com
FOllOW uS ON FaCebOOK & tWitter facebook.com/IslandParent twitter.com/IslandParent kidsinvictoria.com
Late to the Party
…and without a strategically wrapped gift
I
f you’ve got a toddler and an iPad, chances are you’ve heard of the toy-unboxing video—pardon the wordy title—“Angry Birds Toy Surprise Jake and the Never Land Pirates Disney Pixar Cars 2 Easter Egg SpongeBob.” Not only have you heard of it, but, I’d bet, you’ve likely watched it, too. At least once. If you’re like me, though, and still impressed by things like Google Street View and Siri with her assorted accents, you’re scratching your head and saying “toyunboxing videos?” Toy-unboxing videos are short clips of someone, usually a woman—or, rather, her disembodied, carefully manicured hands— unwrapping, most often, cheap plastic toys and then displaying them before a camera. In a sing-song voice, and often accompanied by a seemingly faraway guitar, she’ll coo to her viewers about the toy’s various features. At last look, the Angry Birds toy-unboxing video—produced by the ever-popular and mysterious “DisneyCollector”, a person, not the corporation—had racked up more than 100 million hits. That’s enough times for every child under age five in Canada to see it. Roughly 20 times. According to figures published by industry site Tubefilter and as reported in The Guardian, the 100 most popular YouTube channels more than doubled their monthly views in the last year. In January alone, the top 100 channels generated 14.7 billion views. 14.7 billion views. In one month. The most popular channel, beating out even Taylor Swift (who garnered 361.3 million hits in January) was Funtoys Col-
IslandParent.ca
lector toy-unboxing channel with 517.3 million views. Dubbed “Toy Porn” and “Toddler Crack” by some, toy-unboxing videos adhere to what writer Mireille Silcoff describes as “a pretty porn-savvy standard” in her New York Times article, “A Mother’s Journey Through the Unnerving Universe of ‘Unboxing’ Videos.” Part Consumer Reports and part Christmas morning, “toy unboxing is a form designed to most easily engender vicarious thrills,” writes Silcoff, “a totally novel outlet for consumer desire, buying without buying.” Considering that the majority of toy-unboxing videos are often created by what have been referred to as “enthusiastic amateurs,” they are a marketer’s dream-come-true. Not only is the general public providing free advertising for almost every product on the market, but we are also providing a captive audience, one that will become the consumers of the future. It seems counterproductive that with six of YouTube’s latest top 10 channels aimed at children—accounting for two billion views in one month—the company is now creating a kids’ app that filters out inappropriate videos and advertising. Inappropriate videos? Advertising? Call me crazy but that, in a nutshell—or, I should say, a beautifully wrapped package—sounds like a possible definition for toy unboxing. “For teenagers and adults with purchasing power, unboxing videos can be a kind of virtual tour of a product in which you’re interested,” writes Hillary Reinsberg for BuzzFeed. “Or, since they’re typically made
by amateurs, a kind of authentic check and balance on flashy advertising.” For kids and toys, though, it’s a little different, she adds. “A number of parents of toddlers, the channel’s target audience, tell a similar story of their children finding the channel: their kids,
Editor’s Note Sue Fast fans of the Disney Cars movie franchise asked to watch some related videos on YouTube. From there, they happened upon a DisneyCollectorBR video. When they finished, another one loaded. In the days and weeks following, the kids, entranced for whatever reason by the toy demos, asked for more.” More toy demos. And then more toys. In an article for Fortune Magazine, “The Cult of Unboxing,” writer Mark O’Connell says the videos offer “deferred fulfillment” and that, for him at least, simultaneously soothe and exacerbate “some restless instinct for material acquisition, for newer and better things.” After watching an assortment of unboxing videos, I can see what he means. It’s a relief when I stumble upon an unboxing spoof by Sesame Street’s Cookie Monster. In one video, Cookie Monster’s blue hands unpack his lunchbox while his gravelly voice describes its contents: a sandwich, a banana and…“COOKIE!” In the next, he unpacks a pizza—“round pizza…square box …four sides”—then devours the pizza, box and all. Well, at least Sesame Street has put the trend to good use, seizing the opportunity to teach shapes, colours and, among other things, nutrition. There’s just one problem: Now me want cookie.
April 2015 3
IPM Notes Daffodil Month This month, the Canadian Cancer Society is asking British Columbians to join the fight against cancer by making a donation and wearing the iconic daffodil pin. Let people fighting the disease know that they are not alone on their cancer journey, that they are supported by friends, family and the Society through its support services.
The Society delivers programs for individuals seeking cancer information, along with emotional support, and camps for children, youth and families. It also provides transportation services, accommodations and short-term financial assistance for treatment-related transportation and accommodation. The volunteers and staff deliver cancer support programs, cancer prevention information, and they advocate for healthier communities and fundraise for cancer research. Help get the Cancer Society’s daffodil onto the lapels of British Columbians. Show those affected by cancer that they are not alone—we are fighting with them. You can find pins at these locations: Pharmasave, Mac’s, LifeLabs, Marketplace IGA, WirelessWave and Tbooth Mobile and Cafe Artigiano, among other locations. Visit fightback.ca for a full list.
Easter Egg Hunt Signs of Hope in Africa is hosting its 7th Annual Easter Egg Hunt on Sunday April 5 at Beckwith Park from 10am-1pm. This event features three bouncy castles, a craft station, carnival games, roaming super heroes, face painting, entertainment, Pockets and Mr. Umbee the clowns, Global music with DJ Hinga. Saanich police cars and fire trucks will be available for little ones to explore. Ace, the Saanich Police mascot, will be onsite for pictures and handshakes 4 Island Parent Magazine
as will Marty from the Victoria Royals. The Easter Egg Hunt starts at 11am, with three age categories. A visit from the Easter Bunny will keep the kids hopping. Fuel up at the barbecue, offering burgers/hot dogs/vegetarian option for $6 combo (burger/chips/ drink), or drop by the coffee/tea/popcorn station. Enter to win raffle baskets, which include several birthday party events. The Easter Egg Hunt runs rain or shine, no preregistration required. $5 per child aged 13 and under, adults free. All proceeds support children and families in Zanzibar, Tanzania. The Signs of Hope breakfast program feeds 300+ preschool children daily, the Family Sponsorship program provides families with start-up costs to establish their own business to help break the cycle of poverty, and the classroom project just furnished six primary classrooms with desks. Join the hunt on Easter Sunday and know that your participation is helping a family on the other side of the world. Together we can make a difference. Thanks to sponsors Thrifty’s Hillside, Investors Group, Gala-Van Party Rentals, Coast Environmental and Latitude Geographics. Visit signsofhopeinafrica.org for more information.
Bowl for Kids’ Sake 2015 Big Brothers and Big Sisters (BBBS) of Victoria’s annual Bowl for Kids’ Sake fundraiser takes place on April 10 and 17 at Langford Lanes and, new this year, at Miracle Lanes in Sidney on April 12. Come on out, lace up your bowling shoes and join in as local businesses and community members come together, form teams, collect pledges and participate in support of Big Brothers Big Sisters. Proceeds from this event help BBBS reach its goal of matching local children with mentors. Together, we can help children reach their full potential. This year’s theme is “Superheroes.” Participants are encouraged to dress up as their favourite superhero, and will have the opportunity to win prizes for best costume, most dollars raised and best score. Registration is free and includes two hours of bowling fun, food, pop, and shoe rental. Each individual bowler is responsible for raising $100—that’s $100 invested in a child and in a relationship with the potential of sparking a lifelong friendship. Bowl for Kids’ Sake is at Langford Lanes, 1097 Langford Parkway and Miracle Lanes, 2375 Bevan Avenue. Visit bowlforkidssakevictoria.kintera.org for more information and registration details.
kidsinvictoria.com
Victoria Kids Consignment Spring Sale The Victoria Kids Consignment (VKC) Spring Sale will be April 10-12 at Eagle Ridge Community Centre, 1089 Langford Parkway. VKC offers thousands of clothing items, shoes, infant gear, bedding, toys, books, games, sporting equipment and much more in one place. Shop early—the best items will go fast. Sign up today for a volunteer shift to earn a Presale Pass. Volunteers shop first and one four-hour shift allows you entry to the Volunteer Presale. Sellers automatically earn a pass for the Sellers Presale. Seller registration and item entry ends April 7. Unload the items your family no longer needs in one weekend. Sellers receive their proceeds transfer or cheque days after the sale ends. If you have a family-friendly business, don’t miss out on the chance to get your products in front of moms, dads, grandparents and kids for as low as $50. Visit the Vendors section of the website to reserve your space before they are full. VKC Spring Sale schedule: April 10 Presales by Invitation 5-8pm; April 11 Public Sale 10am-4pm; April 12 Half-Price Sale 9am-noon. Visa, MasterCard, Debit and Cash accepted. Admission and Parking are free. Let Victoria Kids Consignment help you buy from local moms and shop with local moms. Visit VictoriaKidsConsignment.ca for more details.
Barbara Coloroso at the Port Theatre On April 14 at 7pm, parenting educator Barbara Coloroso will introduce the updated and expanded new edition of her book The Bully, the Bullied and the ‘Not So Innocent’ Bystander. From Preschool to High School and Beyond: Breaking the Cycle of Violence and Creating Safe and More Deeply Caring Communities. This is the same book that became the definitive guide to bullying prevention and intervention when it was first published over a decade ago. Coloroso is an educational consultant for school districts, the criminal justice system, medical and business communities, and has appeared on Oprah, The Early Show and the CBC. Her presentation will give parents, caregivers, grandparents, educators and—most of all—young people, practical and compassionate solutions, the confidence to act and the tools to break this cycle of violence that affects us all. IslandParent.ca
This event is presented by the NanGo Grannies, a Nanaimo grandmothers group which raises funds for the Stephen Lewis Foundation Grandmothers to Grandmothers Campaign, supporting grandmothers in Africa who are raising their grandchildren orphaned by the AIDs epidemic. Coloroso will sign books following the presentation, coordinated by Literacy Central Vancouver Island. Tickets are available from The Port Theatre at porttheatre. com. Visit nangogrannies.org for more information.
Earth Day Every Day Clean Commute On April 22, Earth Day Canada wants you to clean your commute. Get all the tools and information you’ll need to make lowcarbon transportation choices on Earth Day and Every Day. The Earth Day Every Day Clean Commute toolkit launches on April 1. The toolkit contains resources to engage employees, schools, communities and you. Sign up at earthday.ca/resources/earthday-2015 for an email notification when the toolkit goes live. Also, join the conversation on Facebook in April for a full month of daily reminders, more ideas and “super challenges!” or work through this checklist at your own pace. Join other Canadians this spring to make change a habit. Visit earthday.ca/docs/downloads/ aftp-30-days-en.pdf?sfvrsn=2 for a list of 30-Day Challenge Actions: everything from purging your home of chemical cleaners to hosting a clothing swap to refresh your wardrobe.
38 Years of Making Tomorrow Conference The Making Tomorrow Conference is on Saturday, April 25 from 9am-3:30pm at the University of Victoria. For 38 years, the Vancouver Island Cooperative Preschool Association (VICPA) has organized the Making Tomorrow Conference (MTC). It is an educational event where individuals can network and learn more about the latest developments in early childhood education. With over 300 professionals and parents gathering, and with more than 25 workshops to choose from, this one day event is the largest of its kind on Vancouver Island. Workshop topics include: Risk-taking in Play—It’s Too Dangerous Not to!; Stop the Chaos! 5 Practical Strategies to Help Develop Independent, Cooperative and Happy Children; Sex, Death, Money, and Spirituality; and Organizing the Brain thru Music, Movement + Creativity. April 2015 5
IPM Notes With the wide variety of topics to discuss and learn from, there are also many opportunities to network with your peers. Topics range from the neuro-science of children’s use of electronic devices to teaching preschoolers problem solving strategies they will need to “make tomorrow.” Take part in the annual conference on early childhood education hosted at the University of Victoria. Visit makingtomorrowconference. com for a detailed workshop and speaker list and to register.
Admission is free and parking is nearby. Some events are by ticket or donation. Visit creativelyunitedfortheplanet.org for more information.
A Fun-Filled Day at BookFest Saturday May 2 is the 29th annual Vancouver Island Children’s Book Festival! BookFest 2015 is a wonderful opportunity for children aged 5-12 to meet some of Canada’s finest children’s authors, illustrators and storytellers in downtown Nanaimo. As well, the day offers fun activities for preschoolers.
Creatively Celebrating Community The Fourth Annual Creatively United for the Planet Earth Week Festival will be held on Saturday, April 25 from noon-9pm and on Sunday, April 26, noon-4 pm at the beautiful five-acre English Inn, 429 Lampson St in Esquimalt. This free, fun-filled all-ages community festival features live music and entertainment, short films and documentaries, innovative displays, local food, afternoon tea, yoga, children’s activities, art and art-making, electric car and bike displays, massage and healing arts, a silent auction and a locally-sourced organic green dinner and concert.
The English Inn offers the public the opportunity to enjoy a one-of-a-kind property, complete with heritage trees and a Samuel McClure 14-suite manor with exhibition and concert space. The English Inn is located on a well-serviced bus route, is wheelchair accessible, and a bike lockup will be available during the festival.
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kids to new opportunities at the club and community level, and for parents to learn more about keeping their kids engaged in healthy activities. Brought to you by the Greater Victoria Sports Hall of Fame and PISE, the festival features more than 30 activities for kids and families to try out including Adrenaline Zipline (by donation), outdoor rock climbing, tennis, rugby, adapted sports, and so much more. There is no cost for organizations to participate, or for families to attend. The primary purpose is to inspire families to be more active, and to encourage youngsters to be more physically literate by getting involved in sports and recreational activities. Donations made to ride the Adrenaline Zipline will help raise funds for the SportStart Grant. PISE is located at 4371 Interurban Rd. Visit piseworld.com or call 250-220-2510 for more information.
Changing Families, Changing Needs Catherine Austen, Robert (Lucky) Budd, Mike Deas, Bill Helin, Gary Kent, Roy MacGregor, Karen Patkau, Terri Mack, Sarah Turner, and Vikki VanSickle will share the magic of their books and the secrets of their writing success. Be entertained with wild and silly antics from storytellers extraordinaire. Be charmed by the creative talents of illustrators who bring books to life. There is something to inspire and awe all ages. All of the action takes place in downtown Nanaimo on Saturday May 2, from 10am to 2:30pm in venues surrounding and including the Diana Krall plaza. Noon-hour activities include face painting, bubbles, music and more. Books will be available for purchase on site or bring your own for the book signing following the last session. Tickets available through The Port Theatre in Nanaimo, by phoning 250-7548550, or online at porttheatre.com. $10 per child for three sessions to a maximum of $25 per family. For more information visit bookfest.ca or follow Facebook & Twitter @BookFestNanaimo.
6th Annual Family Sport & Recreation Festival The 6th annual Island Savings Family Sport and Recreation Festival—A Celebration of Physical Literacy Fun for the Family, will be at the Pacific Institute for Sport Excellence (PISE) on Saturday, May 2 from 11am-3pm. This free event is your pre-summer destination for introducing
Changes in family makeup have been a fact of life for many years. More and more families involve same-sex parents, single parents, co-parents, blended families and non-related parent figures. Much has been made of these changes, but what options are available to help adults and children cope with the complex implications of these changes, should any of these models start to come apart? BC Families in Transition, which has helped families deal with crises like separation and divorce since 1977, has evolved its services over time to reflect these changes and help adults and children cope with their unique challenges. Now, the organization is going through a transition of its own, taking a new name: Family Services of Greater Victoria (FSGV). FSGV began as the Divorce Lifeline, then became the Separation and Divorce Resource Centre and eventually BC Families in Transition. FSGV is about more than just separation and divorce, says Bruce McGuigan, executive director of FSGV. “We now see couples who are going through a rough period but don’t intend to split,” says McGuigan. “We also provide parenting support and counseling for children and teens who are experiencing difficulties either from family life or the stresses of becoming adults.” Visit fsgv.org for more information.
The Cridge Respitality Service The Cridge Respitality Service cares for families raising a child with special needs kidsinvictoria.com
or a mental health diagnosis by caring for the caregivers. This service has partnered with 25 hotels and 25 businesses to meet the need for caregiver respite by coordinating complimentary overnight hotel stays or complimentary meals, theatre tickets, or gift certificates for parents who cannot leave their child for an extended period of time. Four hundred families a year are provided with a break from the chronic stresses of raising a child with special needs or mental health diagnosis. Parents return to their parenting responsibilities refreshed and rejuvenated, improving their ability to cope with daily responsibilities and maintain stability during crises. For more information, phone 250-220-8570.
Home Sharing – A Lifestyle Choice Home Sharing is a residential placement option for adults with developmental disabilities that is funded by Community Living BC. Similar to Foster Parenting, Home Share providers are contracted to open their homes to support one or more individuals. Placement in a Home Share is based on matching the needs and interests of the individuals to the skills, interests and lifestyle of the Home Share Providers. Home Share Providers assist with building friendships and community access, enhancing life skills, meal preparation, and personal care. Every Home Sharing arrangement looks different. Individuals might share a home with a single person, a couple, or a family and may have a bedroom or a separate suite. All Home Share Providers are committed to creating communities where people with developmental disabilities are healthy and safe and have a voice in how they live, work, and contribute. Kardel Consulting is designated by CLBC to assist in finding the best possible match for the individual and Home Share Provider. Kardel has offered community-based supports for adults with developmental disabilities since 1987. Kardel provides a range of residential services (including nine group homes and over 90 individuals in Home Share), Community Inclusion and other professional services, in Victoria and other Vancouver Island communities. Visit kardelcares.ca for more information. Interested in exploring Home Share? Phone 250-382-5990. If you’d like to speak with other Home Share Providers, contact the BC Home Share Providers Association at bchomeshare.com.•
Come See Why Learning in Nature Rocks! Ages 3–5 "Tell me and I'll forget, show me and I may remember, involve me and I'll understand" Chinese Proverb Reggio Influenced Philosophy Child Led Learning Registrations Now Being Taken for Limited Spaces
mosnjk@hotmail.com www.naturejuniorkindergarten.com IslandParent.ca
April 2015 7
Rachel Dunstan Muller
More Muscle, Less Machine
T
he lower gas prices of recent months have been a mixed blessing. No one can argue that cheap gas is a great thing for car-dependent families struggling to put food on the table. I’m certainly pleased with the extra room in my own transportation budget. But from an environmental perspective inexpensive fuel isn’t a win. The lower gas prices drop, the less incentive we have to get out of our cars—or to at least drive more efficient vehicles. And that’s a loss on several fronts. Canadians produce about 20 metric tonnes of greenhouse gases per capita annually, which is twice as much as the British produce, and three times as much as the Swiss. About one quarter of our greenhouse gas emissions can be attributed to motorized transportation. The problem isn’t going away. We have more cars and trucks on the road than ever in Canada, contributing both to air pollution and climate change. On the flip side, very few of us are getting the exercise we need for optimal health. According to StatsCan, only 15 per cent of Canadian adults are accumulating the minimum recommended amount of 150 minutes of moderate-to-vigourous activity per week. Our kids are doing even worse. Just seven per cent of youth between the ages of five and 17 are racking up the 60 minutes of daily physical activity they require. Too much greenhouse gas emissions, not enough exercise. Hmmm. There are obstacles to switching to human-powered transportation, however. I’ve been confronting many of them myself, and exploring some possible solutions as I try to decrease my reliance on my car. Time and distance. Many of us live too far from our schools and/or workplaces to make walking practical. But you might be surprised how quickly you can get from one place to another on a bike, once you find a good route. It takes my young adult daughter 15 minutes to cycle five kilometres to work. When you factor in the amount of time it would take her to find a parking place in downtown Victoria, biking versus driving doesn’t cost her much extra time. As
8 Island Parent Magazine
a bonus she gets half an hour of exercise five days a week without having to consciously fit it into her life. By combining exercise and transportation, she actually has a net time savings. It doesn’t have to be all or nothing. My younger children attend a school 17 kilometres from our home. My husband drives them each morning (it’s his workplace, too), and I pick them up after school. The distance is too far for six- and eight-year-olds to walk or cycle home, but lately I’ve been parking a kilometre or two short of the school and walking the remaining distance. It’s been lovely having the extra exercise every afternoon, and it’s been a great reminder to my kids that their legs were made for moving. I’ve been repeating this pattern at every possible opportunity. When I have an errand or a meeting at the top of a hill, I park at the bottom and walk the rest of the way. To my surprise these small changes have made a noticeable difference in our gas consumption. A more radical solution would be for us to move closer to the school, and that’s something we’re thinking about. The distances involved are also a consideration when we commit to extracurricular activities. Safety issues: I envy those Island communities that have networks of dedicated pedestrian and/or cycling paths. Take advantage of them if you can, and let your municipal representatives know that you value safe walking and cycling routes. Teach your children road safety from an early age, and model it yourself. If you live within walking distance from school but your kids are too young to travel alone, consider forming a ‘walking school bus’ with other like-minded parents. Dress in reflective clothing and carry a light when walking at dusk or later. Weather: We’re fortunate to live in a temperate part of the world. As long as you’re prepared with the right clothing and gear, the weather shouldn’t be a deterrent to human-powered commuting. Wear layers and carry an umbrella, and you’ll be ready for most west coast scenarios. A rain cover is kidsinvictoria.com
an excellent investment if you’re transporting your kids in a stroller. Carrying capacity: Hauling groceries or other goods is a little more challenging without a car, but there are solutions. A roomy backpack may be enough if your load isn’t too heavy. A sturdy stroller can hold quite a bit in addition to small children. Bikes can be fitted with front or back baskets or panniers, or hooked to trailers for larger
I’ve been parking a kilometre or two short of the school and walking the remaining distance. It’s been lovely having the extra exercise every afternoon, and it’s been a great reminder to my kids that their legs were made for moving. loads. On foot without a stroller? Start a trend with an ultra-cool collapsible wire shopping cart! Fitness: If some of the suggestions above seem daunting because you and/or your kids are currently out of shape, take heart. Start with baby steps, and your fitness will improve very quickly. I speak from experience. While vigorous walking and cycling have been part of my life since childhood, I’ve just come out of an extended period of limited mobility, which resulted in a dramatic loss of fitness. Thanks to a knee injury, I went from hiking long distances for pleasure to being unable to walk down the hill to get my mail for the better part of two years. I am just now completing my rehabilitation. I wasn’t sure my heart could take it the first time I walked up Ladysmith’s steepest hill following my recovery. But as the months have passed, both my heart and my legs have gotten significantly stronger. If I can do it, so can you! It can be hard to break the car habit, but if you set small goals and build on them slowly, you and your family will soon be reaping the rewards of more human-powered transportation. Who could say no to fewer greenhouse gas emissions, reduced stress, stronger muscles, and a healthier heart? Not this mom! Rachel Dunstan Muller is the mother of five, and a children’s author. Her previous articles can be found at kidsinvictoria.com. IslandParent.ca
April 2015 9
If your son or daughter has autism and is between 6–18 years old, we can help through: • Direct 1:1 Support • Behaviour Support • Social Groups • Spring, Summer and Winter Day Camps • Account Management
Jerri Carson
International Children’s Book Day I
nternational Children’s Book Day takes place on April 2. Started in 1967, the event celebrates children’s books and aims to inspire a love of reading in children. Each year, there is a chosen theme for the Book Day, and this year, 2015, the theme is “Many Cultures One Story.” To celebrate, here are four children’s books that reflect musical cultures from different countries. Exposing young children to different music cultures creates fun and excitement and helps them recognize the interconnectedness of the world. These books show how people all over the world make music and that music is an important part of everyone’s lives.
Drummer Boy of John John by Mark Greenwood
For more information please call 250-477-7231 local 237 autism@clvic.ca
RAINFOREST EDUCATION
For Preschoolers at Beaver Lake
CHILDREN AGED 3-5YRS
EDUCATING CHILDREN OUTSIDE (ECO) PROGRAM ECO is an award winning preschool age full year program which incorporates elements of play based, place based, and experiential learning. Our qualified and experienced educators employ an outdoor immersive and emergent curriculum promoting development of the whole child. Sept. 2015 – June 2016
M, W, F Tu, Th
9:00am-12:00pm 9:00am-12:00pm
$244/month $169/month
* Program operates out of Nature House at Beaver Beach (800m from Commonwealth Pool) Please contact Dr. Chris Filler at 250-475-7107 for more information to register for 2015/2016
This colorfully illustrated book tells the story of a young boy getting ready for Carnival in Trinidad by trying to make his own drums out of things he discovers in the landfill. The book was inspired by the life of Winston “Spree” Simon, one of the pioneers of the Caribbean steel drum. The bright illustrations in this book are inspired by real events and they capture the delight of Carnival. Kids will enjoy reading this book and then looking for their own ways of making new instruments from everyday items.
Music Everywhere by Maya Ajmera This book is a collection of vivid photographs showing children enjoying music in 35 countries around the world. Some play instruments, like the Japanese girl beating a taiko drum. Other children clap, tap, or strum along while singing. In Argentina, a young girl in braids plays a tambourine in a park. In Brazil, two happy boys drum at a Carnival celebration. Young dancers jump, sway and dance to the beats at a performance in Taiwan. The photographs are eye-catching and reflect the rich cultural history of each country.
Songs in the Shade of the Flamboyant Tree by Chantal Grosleziat This picture book is a collection of colourful tunes and vivid drawings that celebrate the island cultures of Guadeloupe, Haiti, Martinique and Reunion. The melodies are selections of French Creole lullabies and nursery rhymes with an accompanying CD. As well, the book includes information about the origin and cultural importance of each song.
Sleepytime Songs by Peter Yarrow This beautifully illustrated book is a collection of traditional folk songs and lullabies from North America and other countries. There is the American lullaby “Hush Little Baby, along with “Puff, the Magic Dragon” and “On Top of Old Smokey.” Also included is the peaceful Brahms’ Lullaby from Germany and the Welsh folk song “All through the Night.” This is a sing-along book with an audio CD included. At the back of the book is a history about the songs. Jerri Carson is a primary music teacher for SD #61. She is a member of the CRD Arts Advisory Council. Jerri plays the cello in the Victoria Conservatory Cello Orchestra.
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Island Parent Magazine
kidsinvictoria.com
Anna Harvey
What Do You Dream of Becoming?
SUNRISE WALDORF SCHOOL
Ask, listen and prepare to be amazed
T
hink back to your teen years. Do you recall an occasion when your parent asked, “What do you dream of becoming? What do you think you’re good at? I’d like to listen.” If you’re drawing a blank, don’t worry— you’re not alone. Most of us, raised by concerned and well-intentioned parents, more often than not heard the familiar refrains of “Study hard,” “Get a good job,” and “Go to university.” The challenge with these statements is that each is a one-size-fits-all solution to helping a young person find his or her way in life. What if your teen isn’t the studying kind? What if she is studying, but studying something that isn’t the right fit? It’s tough to help our kids get clear on their natural strengths, their interests, and their passions. And many parents might wonder: “But where’s the income in following one’s passion? How will he build a secure future?” Step back. Breathe deep. If one takes a narrow view of life, it does indeed become all about career. We set ourselves up for finding everything—income, challenge, fulfillment, community—from our job. This might work for a while. But it’s inherently flawed. With all of our eggs in one basket, something’s bound to crack. And from time to time, we do. Taking a broader view, we can encourage our youth to build a satisfying life of which their work is one important part. Our kids can feel overwhelmed and burdened under the weight of trying to “get it right.” Often they’re on, or headed toward, the same post-secondary path as a parent, or they’ve defaulted into a business program, maybe thinking “I don’t know what I want, so I guess I’ll do Business.” Sometimes there’s a happy ending. Often it’s not the best investment of time, heart or money. The time to start fanning the flame that lives within us all, to some degree or another, is in the early years. And, although it would be ideal if all schools inspired our youngsters to explore their unique combination of interests and talents, it’s also up to us as
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parents, caregivers, and the community to help show the way. Recently, a local chapter of Soroptimist International did just that. Knowing the important and often life-changing role mentorship can play, this community of women put together a conference called Imagining Possibilities for young women 16-25 years old. After a day of meeting business women, and attending workshops that encouraged them to “Bust Your Own Beliefs, Tap Into Your Heart’s Wisdom, Get Visioning, and Ignite Your Passion,” the young audience members spoke about how they felt empowered, more positive about themselves, and motivated. I’m proud to have been part of that Soroptimist community who saw the need and acted on it. I’m less proud that, as a parent of a now 26-year-old-son, I didn’t see his need during his important young years. Back then I was focused (OK, hyper-focused) on making sure he “turned out alright.” This didn’t leave a lot of room for quiet, calm enquiry about what “alright” looked like for him. Would it have been perfect? Would it have been his lifelong career? No, in both cases. The teen and young adult years are fertile ground for making mistakes as we seek to discover who we are as individuals. We’re not supposed to get it right. We’re supposed to learn. And one of the best ways we can help our youth learn about themselves is to ask them what’s true for them—just in this moment—knowing that it will, almost certainly, change. And in answer to your honestly curious question of “What do you dream of becoming?,” you just might hear your teen speak the seed of what he or she is yet to become. Anna Harvey is a certified facilitator of The Passion Test and Lumina Spark. She provides Work/Life Clarity programs for youth, adults, and those considering retirement. Visit BOOSTcommunications. ca. For information on Imagining Possibilities and Soroptimist International, visit si-victoriawestshore.com
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The
Janine Fernandes-Hayden
Space Where Friendships Grow
Making time for family, friends and solitude I
remember when each of my first three children started kindergarten. I was confident that they were prepared for the transition; they knew their ABCs, 123s, and colours, they were respectful and courteous, they were creative, they were independent. There was however an area that I did worry about—would they make friends? Up until that point, apart from swimming lessons, preschool gymnastics, and a playgroup two mornings a week, they had been at home with me. Insecurity crept in and I soon wondered whether I had socialized them enough. Guilt began to mount over not having scheduled more play dates even though I knew that it hadn’t been realistic. In the weeks and days leading up to the start of school, I asked my children, “Are you excited about kindergarten?” “What scares you the most?” To the latter, they replied, “That I won’t make friends and that people won’t like me.” Making friends. It was a big worry, both for them and for me. School would teach them the 3 big Rs—Reading, ’Riting and ’Rithmetic—but a fourth R would prove to be just as important: Relationships. We all want our children to experience the joy of play and the strength of connection and support that come from trustworthy, loyal and respectful relationships. As we help our children negotiate the world of friendships, what is our role as parents and what are the important messages to convey?
Being Alone Versus Being Lonely Over those first few weeks of kindergarten, I became preoccupied with how my children were faring socially. Many days, my trips through town took me on a detour past the school to spy on them from the parking lot. Among the flurry of children running and 12 Island Parent Magazine
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squealing, mine often wandered quietly alone in the playground. It broke my heart to think that they might be feeling sad and lonely. “Who did you play with today?” I asked casually at the dinner table, trying to hide my growing anxiety and obsession. All the while, I knew I risked putting too much pressure on them and/or super-imposing my own expectations and assumptions. In the moment, I was overlooking an important question, “Are my children happy being alone, just swinging on the swings, hanging from the monkey bars or digging in the sandbox?” I had forgotten what it had been like to be a cautious and introverted child—happy to sit on the sidelines and to do my own thing, either building up confidence or simply conserving energy until the need to interact arose. It didn’t matter if I was alone. In time, my children all made connections. I learned to trust their pace and discern the difference between “alone” and “lonely.” I re-affirmed my belief that it is in fact healthy for children to feel secure spending time on their own. Gordon Neufeld and Gabor Maté, in their book, Hold on to your Kids, write “Developmentally, children have a much greater need for a relationship with themselves than a relationship with peers.” Just because my children were alone, didn’t mean that they were socially underdeveloped or on a path towards being friendless. So long as they were interacting with others in some way and, more importantly, so long as they had some place of belonging, I really had nothing to worry about.
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We welcome inquiries from individuals and families who can provide a supportive home in which adults with developmental disabilities can live safe, healthy, full lives. If you’re interested in exploring home sharing possibilities, please contact the Home Share Coordinator in your region: Victoria: 250-382-5990 Nanaimo: 250-729-7401 Courtenay/Comox: 250-338-6557
Victoria: 250-382-5959 ext 233 Parksville: 250-248-8336 Campbell River: 250-287-8397
For information about Kardel, please see our website www.kardelcares.ca
BFF a Fallacy? “Will I be in the same class as my friends?” This past September, my seven-year-old son was devastated to find that he had been separated from his closest friend. Despite my better judgment, I emailed the principal. “Would it be possible for my son to be placed in the other classroom with his friend?” No sooner had I pressed send, when a sinking feeling of regret filled my gut. I was missing the bigger picture and a valuable teachable moment: the importance of meeting new people and developing emotional resilience to changes in relationships. Just one friend is enough, according to a 2010 observational study by Dr. William Bukowski, a professor of psychology at Concordia University in Montreal. The study explored the long-term effects experienced by socially-isolated and withdrawn children, drawing the correlation with depression in IslandParent.ca
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the teenage years. On the other hand, the notion of “Best Friends Forever” has always been a problematic concept for me. Where is the balance? I acknowledge the reality that we only have so much time and energy to forge deep and meaningful friendships. Contrary to the Facebook philosophy of life, being able to have 500 friends has really compromised our ability to discern between quantity and quality. However, I wonder whether the expectation of a BFF ends up doing our children a disservice by promoting a closed and fixed mindset that hinders friendliness, independence and personal growth. Also, the notion of a BFF perpetuates the idea that friendships exist in a permanent state, when in reality they fluctuate. As friends, we move away, our needs changes, we grow and/or enter different stages of life. The world of friends is all about striking a balance between the loyalty, tolerance and effort required to maintain friendships, with the honesty, understanding and acceptance to let them go. To be healthy, I believe we need to surround ourselves with different friends and acquaintances, each of whom carry a different puzzle piece that, put together, allows us to be ourselves and to feel whole. Finding
the pieces that fit just the right may take a lifetime and may present in people that we might never expect. It is openness that allows us to receive the bounties of friendship. As parents, we can help our children by instilling a foundation that enables them to make at least one friend, if not more, as opposed to becoming closed off with only one.
The Space Where Friendships Grow My children ask, “Mama, can I have a playdate?” and I wonder how I can I possibly fit it in. I have a hard enough time managing their need for downtime, family time, home learning, chores and extracurricular activities. Yet, I feel guilty over not showing more flexibility and making the effort to organize social time outside of our usual routine. Part of the issue is that I feel possessive of the time that my children are able to spend with me, knowing that it is precious and fleeting. My school-aged children already spend 50 per cent of their time with their peers. How much more do they need? I am reluctant to hand over any more of our family time. Yet, I acknowledge that friendship development is important. Where is the space where friendships grow? While the logic may seem elusive at first, I am beginning to realize to my relief
that the process of friendship development begins within the family. In their book, Hold onto your Kids, authors Neufeld and Maté suggest “socializing plays a part in rendering a child capable of true social integration, but only as a finishing touch…Whether we need to help children develop their social capacities or script some social behavior to enable them to get along, we need to hold onto to them long enough to get it done.” To do so means spending time with children beyond disciplining or giving directives. It means having fun, playing board games, exploring ideas, going for walks or even just listening and asking questions. Linda Kavelin-Popov in her book, The Pace of Grace, calls this “non-compulsory time together,” time in which nothing is asked and nothing is required. When we carve out this time, what we are really doing is modeling mature relationships that are not bound by the need to conform or seek approval. We are also nurturing a secure base of belonging from which a solid sense of self-esteem can grow, one that can weather the ups and downs of friendships. This is not to say that worlds should not spill over, in fact in this day where many lack the support of extended family, we can’t afford to live exclusively. Beyond this real-
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ity, blurring the lines between “family” and “friends” and acknowledging a space where the two overlap may reduce discordance and provide a bridge for forming healthy friendships. The bigger picture would have us fold friends into our family lives so that we, as parents, have the opportunity to serve as interested adults who role model mature relationships not only with our own children but with the children of others. By “holding onto other people’s kids,” our children’s friends, we can make a big impact and share in the responsibility of nurturing belonging, attachment and self-esteem to create a “community of friends.”
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Pulling it All Together How then do we reconcile the tensions in developing and maintaining friendships? Part of the answer lies in moderation, looking at how we slice the pie that is our time and asking the questions: 1. Do our children enjoy a variety of social interactions with different peers? 2. How do our children spend their time when they are not in school or engaged in extracurricular activities? 3. Do they experience meaningful social interactions with other adults who can model the qualities of mature relationships? 4. Do we carve out space in our schedules for our children to spend time alone? 5. As parents, how much of our time is spent giving directives? 6. Do we enjoy “non-compulsory time” together as a family? 7. Can time spent with screens and social media be spent on more meaningful interactions? 8. How can we as parents take responsibility and serve as interested adults towards children other than our own? The process of developing respectful friendships is one that moves from the inside out. It begins within us, and then grows through our relationships with our families and other important people in our lives. As parents, this simple change in perspective in how we see friendship development can offer us the peace of mind to know that our children will eventually find their way. We need only trust ourselves in what we have to offer our children, without all the bells and whistles. We have so much more influence than we realize. Janine Fernandes-Hayden is an educator and Salt Spring Island mum of four children. She is also a trained Virtues Project Facilitator.
*STEM = Science, Technology, Engineering and Math.
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April 2015 15
Hannah Lawrie
5 Do’s & Don’ts to Help Deal with Bullying A Parent’s Guide
W
hen my son began to suffer bullying from a group of kids at school, I made light of it—at first. When he said, “These kids are being mean to me,” it wasn’t much for me to go on. As his reports persisted, I began to gently pry the details of the bullying from my now frustrated and hurting child. In listening to him I realized this was a serious situation. In resolving to act on his behalf, I soon learned how bullying affects the whole family, and the do’s and don’ts of dealing with the culture of bullying. My son spoke of how this group of kids routinely belittled and taunted him both on the playground and in the classroom. On occasion, the bullying had included physical aggression. He described being ostracized from group activities and games. He said many children avoided him now and didn’t want to be his friend due to these kids encouraging them to shun him. As the disparaging remarks toward him continued, he began wanting plastic surgery to change his appearance. I knew I had to do something. I told myself this didn’t have to be scary. There were reasonable adults involved, and we could find a way to address and resolve this bullying issue in a mutually agreeable manner. All I had to do was keep my emotions in check and allow the teachers to do their professional duty. My son was depending on me; I thought I could navigate this hostile territory quickly and safely. I soon
found there was far more to learn than I could have imagined… First, I met with my son’s teacher after school and told her about the bullying. Having experienced such bullying myself as a child, I asked her not to bring the girls and my son together to “talk it out.” I suspected these children would deny any accusations and that this would only result in further torment for my son. The teacher nodded and said it would take some time but that she would deal with the issue. I left feeling relieved. Three days later, my son’s teacher smiled and told me everything had been taken care of. I thought it was strange the issue had been resolved so quickly, and later asked my son if the teacher had talked to him about the bullying. His response left me stunned. “Oh, she talked to us alright. She pulled me and the kids who’ve been bullying me into the hallway, said that I didn’t need to talk because my mom had already told her everything, and then let the other kids talk about what they thought happened. Of course, they told her that I just didn’t understand what they had meant. The teacher called it a misunderstanding and sent us out for recess. The rest of my day was terrible! I thought you were going to help me!” I couldn’t understand why the teacher would disregard my request. Realizing that we didn’t see eye to eye had left me feeling
confused, hurt, and powerless, wondering if pursuing resolution was even a possibility. My son began complaining of stomach aches and begging to stay home from school. I knew I had to try. In confronting the teacher I discovered that her recollection of our previous conversation was very different from my own. While my son and I were still struggling with the fallout from the ongoing bullying, she felt resolution had already been reached. I realized that we had a long road ahead of us. I started this ordeal with the intent of advocating for my son, who was bullied on the playground. I had thought it would be about the children, but it turned out to be about all of us. Sticks and stones may break your bones, but long after you’ve forgotten how you got a scarred knee you remember that nasty nickname the neighborhood kids called you. Bullying is traumatic for all parties involved. I discovered that everyone has a history with bullying that colours future experiences, often hindering our ability to effectively advocate for our children and our communities. In the end I learned some practical and effective steps for dealing with bullying at school. Here are the lessons I learned the hard way so that hopefully you don’t have to, a list of do’s and don’ts for parents who may one day be in a similar situation—or who want help now. 1. DON’T underestimate the effect bullying has on your child. If they are bringing it home with them, chances are it’s a big deal for them. Elementary-school-aged children aren’t developmentally able to deal effectively with a bullying situation by themselves; they need adult intervention. They need you to hear them. The longer the behaviour is allowed to go on, the more damage is done. Emotional trauma can have long-term effects emotionally, relationally and physically.
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DO listen and let them know you plan to take action right away. By doing this you not only limit the damage that can be done through bullying, you show your child you believe them. This validates their choice to talk to you and gives them hope in a tough situation. By listening closely and promising to act, you show them they can trust you to support them through a demeaning, confusing and overwhelming situation. 2. DON’T deny, downplay or otherwise ignore your own response to your child being bullied. Dealing with bullying solicits a strong emotional response from all parties involved whether you’re a parent of the target, a school staff member, or the parent of the child accused of bullying. After all, bullying is abuse, and due to its high visibility in today’s media, can be seen as a
DO listen and let them know you plan to take action right away. By doing this you not only limit the damage that can be done through bullying, you show your child you believe them. taboo topic within any community. Denying your own response can lead to downplaying your child’s own experience, hindering your effectiveness as your child’s advocate. DO be aware of and accept your own emotional response to the bullying your child is suffering. Emotions are a natural response to our social environment, alerting us to changes and possible issues in our relationships. Being aware of your emotional state allows you to remain in control of your actions and responses on the playground and in the meeting room. Once you are comfortably aware of your emotions, express them to your child in an honest, controlled manner so that he or she knows you’re on their side. This might take some time, so make time. Don’t be afraid to drop a few activities from your family’s agenda to work through this. The longer you wait to address the issue, the worse the outcome will be for your child, and possibly the whole family. 3. DON’T allow yourself to become overwhelmed, feeling fenced in or isolated. When facing a socially sensitive topic like bullying, it can seem as though the world is against you or that you are on your own in finding information and support for your IslandParent.ca
Have you thought about supporting a person with a developmental disability? Would you consider being a paid Home Share Provider?
We welcome inquiries from individuals and families who can provide a supportive home in which adults with developmental disabilities can live safe, healthy, full lives. If you’re interested in exploring home sharing possibilities, please contact the Home Share Coordinator in your region: Victoria: 250-382-5990 Nanaimo: 250-729-7401 Courtenay/Comox: 250-338-6557
Victoria: 250-382-5959 ext 233 Parksville: 250-248-8336 Campbell River: 250-287-8397
For information about Kardel, please see our website www.kardelcares.ca
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April 2015 17
situation. The mistrust your child is feeling can influence your perspective, making it tempting to think that everyone is against you in the situation. While not everyone is going to be able to provide you with the support and guidance you need while sorting through the issue, you aren’t alone. Remember that your child is watching you. Model the same courage they will need to surmount this life obstacle. Asking for help is part of exercising self-respect and being assertive. Look for resources in your community through your local child, youth and family services. These programs offer support and counseling and can connect you with more specific resources that you might not find on your own. Check out your local library for books or videos on dealing with bullying for both yourself and your child, such as age appropriate resources that give simple tips for kids struggling with anxiety, anger and self esteem. DO take another adult with you when addressing bullying issues, someone you trust. Also take note of who your child’s advocate is at the school, or who could fulfill that role in your absence. Know what issues you want addressed and what outcomes you’re expecting. Write it down and take it with you so you can easily refer
to it and can keep the meeting focused on your concerns. Keep the list short and to the point. Take notes of what is being promised, what is being denied or avoided, and what is a “red button” topic. Don’t leave until your concerns have been adequately addressed and an agreeable game plan is in place. Get it in writing (if only your own). Alternatively, don’t be afraid to end or reschedule a meeting if emotions start to run high, you are feeling overwhelmed, or the conversation has you confused or has been completely derailed from the intended purpose/agenda. 4. DON’T assume everyone is going to take the same approach to resolving the issue. The school staff may not share your viewpoint on bullying. This means that your definition of a successful outcome won’t be the same as the next person’s. Know your own school’s philosophy, policies and practices around bullying. Be specific about your expectations, and get the details on their strategies for dealing with the situation. DO educate yourself and your children about the culture of bullying in general. Make a plan around how you will proceed should bullying occur. One in three students reports being bullied at some point during the school year. Forewarned is forearmed; if
your child is aware of what bullying looks like and what they can do about it, they are less likely to become targeted and may even be able to help others who find themselves being bullied. Talk about it, give examples, and most importantly, rehearse assertive responses to unwanted words and actions. Have your child practice in front of a mirror. This could be awkward. Yet it’s the most useful tool for equipping children to stand up for themselves without appearing too aggressive or too passive. 5. DON’T assume school staff are aware of the bullying or, if they are, that they are dealing with it successfully. Recent legislation outlining anti-bullying policies may mislead you into thinking that the staff are equipped to recognize and handle all forms of bullying. This simply isn’t true. Today’s teachers are unlikely to have the time to recognize bullying unless it’s very obvious. Adding to this is the discomfort associated with talking about or addressing bullying. This topic brings up emotions from past experiences for everyone involved, including teachers and staff. The strong emotional response most people experience when confronted with bullying can cause a fight or flight response, even amongst professionals. Don’t be surprised if some adults downplay,
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disregard, or avoid acknowledging your child’s experience. DO keep a record of all incidents. Though an incident is traumatic for your child and yourself, it may not have seemed all that noteworthy to an observer—if it was observed by an authority figure at all. So take time at the end of every day to record the who, what, where, and when of any incident they experienced including any possible witnesses. Make the debriefing time as affirming and calm as possible for your child. If the bullying is physical and any marks or bruising is apparent on your child, take pictures. Take pictures of broken, ripped or vandalized belongings. Make note of any conversations you have with staff or
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parents regarding issues that may pertain to the bullying issue no matter how brief. Document the disruptions to your home life due to the bullying. These may include: loss of sleep, reluctance to return to school, withdrawal from usual activities, requests for changes to their appearance, emotional outbursts, even lost wages from having to stay home with a heartsick child. As parents, we want to see our children not just survive their school years, but also thrive and grow into confident and emotionally whole adults. By guiding our children through the rocky terrain of bullying, we can equip them to thrive in spite of the relational and social difficulties that seem to come with the territory. Today my son is less reactive and better able to identify and assertively stand up for himself against bullying while I am able to affirm his self worth, and acknowledge and guide him effectively through his negative experiences thanks to applying these hard-learned lessons.
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Hannah Lawrie is a mom to three active children ages 10, 9 and 2, a wife and an RN. She divides her time between her family and the creative arts of writing, acting and crafting. IslandParent.ca
April 2015 19
Summer Camp Fun Day camps and residential summer camps offer children and teens a chance to take a step toward independence in a safe, fun-filled setting. Read on for some ideas for your child.
CFSA Summer Sail Training Programme Learn to Sail at the Canadian Forces Sailing Association! We offer courses for Youth and Adults of all ages, from beginner to advanced. Our instructors are nationally certified through the Canadian Yachting Association (CYA) and trained in how to teach sailing, as well as first aid and boat rescue. We follow the CYA CANSail curriculum of instruction.
Questions about the programme? Call our Program Manager, Candy Daily 250-857-2823
To register: call the Pacific Activity Centre, 250-363-1009
CFSA 2015 Dinghy Sailing Programme: Schedule & Prices DND Member / Non Course Name Age DND Price Member Adult CANSail Basic (Tues 18 + $300 / $330 & Thurs Evenings) June 29 – July 3 Wet Feet 4 yrs – 7 yrs $ 230 / $ 270 Opti Basic Under 10 $ 230 / $ 270 CANSail Basic 10 yrs – 17 yrs $ 240 / $ 280 June 30 – July 23 Adult CANSail Basic (Tues 18 + $300 / $330 & Thurs Evenings) July 6 – July 10 Opti Basic Under 10 $ 230 / $ 270 Opti Advance Under 10 $ 230 / $ 270 CANSail Basic 10 yrs – 17 yrs $ 240 / $ 280 July 6 – July 30 Adult CANSail Basic (Mon 18 + $300 / $330 & Wed Evenings) July 13 – July 17 Wet Feet 4 yrs – 7 yrs $ 230 / $ 270 Opti Basic Under 10 $ 230 / $ 270 CANSail Basic 10 yrs – 17 yrs $ 240 / $ 280 July 20 – July 24 Opti Basic Under 10 $ 230 / $ 270 Opti Advance Under 10 $ 230 / $ 270 CANSail Basic 10 yrs – 17 yrs $ 240 / $ 280 July 27 – July 31 Wet Feet 4 yrs – 7 yrs $ 230 / $ 270 Opti Basic Under 10 $ 230 / $ 270 Opti Advance Under 10 $ 230 / $ 270 CANSail Basic 10 yrs – 17 yrs $ 240 / $ 280 July 28 – Aug 20 Adult CANSail Basic (Tues 18 + $300 / $330 & Thurs Evenings) Aug 4 – Aug 7 * Wet Feet – 4 yrs – 7 yrs $ 184 / $ 216 * Opti Basic Under 10 $ 184 / $ 216 * CANSail Basic 10 yrs – 17 yrs $ 192 / $ 224 * Aug 5– Aug 26 Adult CANSail Basic (Mon 18 + $300 / $330 & Wed Evenings) Aug 7 – Aug 23 Adult CANSail ADVANCE ( 18 + $300 / $330 Fri evening, Sat & Sun 9-‐3) Aug 10 – Aug 14 Opti Basic Under 10 $ 230 / $ 270 Opti Advance Under 10 $ 230 / $ 270 CANSail Basic 10 yrs – 17 yrs $ 240 / $ 280 CANSail ADVANCE (Aug 10-‐ 10 yrs – 17 yrs $ 440 / $ 480 21, is a 2 wk course) Aug 17 – Aug 21 Wet Feet 4 yrs – 7 yrs $ 230 / $ 270 Opti Basic Under 10 $ 230 / $ 270 CANSail Basic 10 yrs – 17 yrs $ 240 / $ 280 Aug 24 – Aug 28 Opti Basic Under 10 $ 230 / $ 270 Opti Advance Under 10 $ 230 / $ 270 CANSail Basic 10 yrs – 17 yrs $ 240 / $ 280 * CFSA will be CLOSED on BC DAY. Classes will start the TUESDAY August 4. Pro-‐rated price * CFSA will be CLOSED onFEET, BC DAY. will start Bthe TUESDAY Aug 4. for the WET OPTIC Classes BASIC and CANSAIL ASIC * Pro-rated price for the WET FEET, OPTIC BASIC and CANSAIL BASIC. Week Of
June 2 – June 25
1001 Maple Bank Rd, Victoria BC V9A 4M2
Email: cfsatraining@gmail.com Web: www.cfsaesq.ca Join our Facebook CFSA ESQUIMALT Training Page
20 Island Parent Magazine
Camp Imadene has been providing successful camping opportunities for children, teens, and adults on Vancouver Island for 85+ years. Our 200-acre property surrounds beautiful Mesachie Lake, just 90 minutes from Victoria. Each year, 1500 campers come to enjoy tubing, wakeboarding, our 1000ft BMX track, rockclimbing, rappelling, paddle-boarding, caving, swimming, boating, low-ropes, pickleball, and more. With a 1:2 staff-to-camper ratio, we provide a supportive and encouraging atmosphere that fosters unforgettable experiences and lifelong friendships. 1-800-445-7575. imadene.com. Imagination and adventure thrive at Camp Narnia! Camp Narnia is centered on storytelling, forest and nature activities, art, theatre and so much more. Our purpose is to foster the joys of childhood, respect and community in a unique environment. With 45 spaces per week, we build a small, close-knit community where children feel safe to be themselves. We are a non-denominational camp located near Parskville. Our program is themed on the Chronicles of Narnia, and our program is full of unexpected surprises. Come join the adventure! Register at campnarnia.com Discover fully accessible, Camp Pringle at Shawnigan Lake. Explore a safe, exciting, outdoor community where active and healthy children have fun. Experiential adventurebased activities, develop greater self-awareness and build confidence. Join our Leadership Program or tour the Cowichan on Bikes. Science, Theatre, Family camps and more. Learn to build positive relationships with the environment and your peers. Delicious food. Overnight or Day Camps. New or experienced campers, all families welcome, for a week that lasts a lifetime! camppringle.com Qwanoes is a youth-oriented high-adventure Christian camp celebrating a 48-year tradition of excellence in camp ministry on Vancouver Island. We are fully accredited and maintain standards of the highest quality. Choose from week-long co-ed camps for Juniors, Junior Highs, and Senior Highs, plus Family Retreats. Seeking to encourage, challenge, and develop the entire person, our well-rounded programs include over 75 activities, stimulating speakers, music and singing, Bible study, firesides, and of course fun. Qwanoes is an ideal place for
life-changing adventure. For a free brochure or more info: 1-888-997-9266 or qwanoes.ca. This summer, learn to sail at the Canadian Forces Sailing Association, Esquimalt Harbour. We offer 1 and 2 week courses for children from 4yrs through Adult, from beginner to advanced. CFSA is a wonderful place to learn to sail, with favourable winds and a protected harbour. Course description, schedule at cfsaesq.ca, Facebook: facebook. com/groups/260909177281019/. Questions about the program? Email or call our Program Manager, Candy Daily: cfsatraining@gmail. com, 250-857-2823. Christ Church Cathedral School’s Summer Program provides a safe and exciting summer for your child. We have a high supervision ratio, experienced staff, excursions, plus all the facilities of Cathedral School. This program runs from June 22 to August 28 and is suitable for ages 5-10. Technology Camps are also running throughout the summer. Robotics, Minecraft and Programming themed camps for ages 9-12. Call 250-383-5125 for details or email office@ cathedralschool.ca. cathedralschool.ca. Community Living Victoria’s Autism Services offers dynamic community-based programs for children and youth (6-18 yrs) with Autism. We offer 1:1 Behaviour Intervention, Social Skills Groups and spring, summer and winter Day Camps. Our skilled and caring team draws from various behaviour support models to customize programming for each youth. Fun programming within safe, supportive environments motivate youth to expand their interests, gain confidence, strengthen social and communication skills, and build friendships. 250-477-7231. communitylivingvictoria.ca The Marine Adventure Program at Glenlyon Norfolk School is beginning its 21st season providing 5-6 day sea kayak camps for teens and youth. Small groups and experienced leaders create an ideal and safe opportunity to experience sea kayaking and the marine environment while gaining skills in paddling, marine travel, navigation, marine life and more. These active camps are full of games and activities and explore some of the most spectacular locations of our world famous BC coastline. Contact the Marine Adventure Program at 250-370-6852 or email dtyrrell@ mygns.ca.
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JH Music Studio. Music Sampler: Have you/ your child ever wanted to try music lessons out before making a larger commitment? Wished you could learn an instrument during the summer instead of the busy school year? I’m offering a summer series that may address your needs. Come, have fun and learn some musical basics, or brush up your skills! Oneon-one instruction in piano (any level), voice, guitar (basic) or theory. $135 for six lessons, materials extra if needed. Call 250-896-2898, or email jemh1231@gmail.com. Summer fun with the Oak Bay Figure Skating Club. OBFSC has exceptional programs for all levels of skating. The focus is on fun, participation, and basic skill development. With NCCP Level 3 Certified coaches, OBFSC has skaters who compete to podium at Provincial and National levels. Summer Rink Ratz camps run from June 29 to August 7 and are designed for ages 4-10. The Rink Ratz program encompasses all the very best skate training available plus added time for summer fun activities. Programs are half day with flexible weekly registration. Full day options available if combined with Oak Bay Rec Fun Unlimited. For info and registration visit oakbayfsc.ca. Panorama Recreation is excited to announce our new Out of School care program starting this fall. Along with games and activities, our program will feature active play, including swimming, nature activities and field trips to local parks and playgrounds. A healthy snack will be included each day. Registration starts April 22nd and will offer flexible options. We will pick up from Kelset, Sidney and Deep Cove Elementary and hope to see you here. This one’s for the girls. Summer camp at St. Margaret’s School provides fun activities in a supportive environment to build confidence and skills over the summer months. Your daughter will love our weekly themes: Culinary Arts, “Try-a-Tri”: Intro to Triathlon, Local History, Budding Biologists/Youth Naturalists, Ocean-inspired Arts, Science, Musical Theatre and more. June 22 to August 21 (8am-5:30pm, Monday to Friday, minus stat holidays), or register week-by-week for more flexibility. Options for girls K to Grade 7; does not have to be a current student. To register: asc@stmarg. ca. 250-479-7171. stmarg.ca. SMUS Summer Music Academies. Join students from across North America in this unique summer program with a solid arts pedigree. Youth age 11-17 can spend a week of intensive, hands-on learning with expert instructors exploring and enhancing their skills in a specific area of the performing arts. Program areas include: Voice, Band (concert band, jazz band, chamber music, choir, and
IslandParent.ca
switch band), and Musical Theatre. For details, visit smus.ca/academies or call 250-370-6120. Victoria Conservatory of Music Summer Camps. World Music Explorers (Ages 5-8. July 13-18 / July 20-24. (Half-day camp for children 5-8). Fun and Creative! Discover World Music through composition, movement, creativity and innovative technology. Experiment with music from around the world through dancing and singing, play world instruments, and compose music in various styles. Victoria Synchro Sizzling Summer Camps Aug 10-14 or Aug 17-21, 9am-2pm with option to extend to 4pm. Saanich Commonwealth Place. Water and Land Activities. Synchronized swimming is swimming
Art Classes Drawing Painting • Sculpture Cartooning Portfolio Preparation • Day and Evening Classes • One or Two hour sessions • Technique Oriented • Ages 5 and Up
COMPLETE A PORTFOLIO COURSE – Ages 14 & Up, DESIGNED ESPECIALLY FOR YOU FOR ENTRANCE INTO: INTERIOR DESIGN, ARCHITECTURE, BACHELOR OF FINE ART, FASHION & MORE
Register Now for Ongoing Programs Artistic Statement Gallery & School of Fine Art Call Joan at 250-383-0566
combined with music, dance, gymnastics and drama! Fun, fitness, friends and teamwork. Website: victoriasynchro.com. Email: jennifervicsynchro@gmail.com. YMCA-YWCA Camp Thunderbird. We build strong kids, strong families, and strong communities. Campers participate in active, challenging and caring programs that build outdoor, leadership, and interpersonal skills. We have a strong reputation for wilderness programs such as kayaking in the Gulf Islands and canoeing on the Sayward Lakes. In camp, participants will enjoy rock climbing, swimming, campfires, boating, and archery. New programs for 2015 include Nature and French camps. For details: victoriay.com/camp thunderbird or 250-413-8859. Wynchemna Language and Learning Centre. Learn French in the beautiful Canadian Rockies. Meet students from around the world: Europe, Asia, Mexico, Russia. Enjoy a variety recreational activities—rock climbing, canoeing, skating, indoor soccer, kayaking, beach volleyball, baseball. Camp for 5 days in the Canadian Rockies: mountain biking with endless views, horseback riding around Lake Louise, walk on the Columbia Icefields. This summer, learn French in the Canadian Rockies. A summer you will never forget…. wynchemna.com/courses/french/•
www.artisticstatementgalleryandschool.com
April 2015 21
Party Directory Home of Victoria’s Original Princess Party.
Magical
Whimsical Unforge ttable
~ Laser Tag ~ Human Hamster Balls ~ Booger Wars ~ Video Game Theatre ~ U:Launchers ~ Foam Party
We bring the Fun2U!
Birthdays, school funfairs, fundraising, festivals, teen groups, church groups, summer camps, sports teams, corporate groups
Call Alicia 250-661-2219 Email games2uvictoria@gmail.com Global @ www.g2u.com Facebook @ Games2u Victoria
www.cafikercastle.com 250-889-9062
Bring your party of Bring your party of Grubs and Larvae for a Grubs and Larvae Bugtastic Adventure for a Bugtastic Adventure atatthe Bug Zoo! the Bug Zoo! Party Room available! Available! Party Room Call for details:
Call 250-384-BUGS for Details: 384-BUGS (2847) (2847) ororcheck website: check the the website: www.victoriabugzoo.com www.bugzoo.bc.ca
Dirt Bike Birthday Parties We supply everything: Bike • Gear • Riding Lesson for ages 6yrs to adults over 30 bikes to choose from
Westshore Motocross Park No experience necessary 2207 Millstream Rd, Langford
250-896-5544 631 Courtney St (Downtown in Nootka Court) 631 Courtney St. (Downtown in Nootka Court)
Birthday Parties! :: Gym & Bouncy Castle, themed parties: creative kids, girl power and preschool parties from Princesses to Pirates! at Henderson Recreation Centre!
250 590 8088 westshoremx.com G Y M
Learn to Ride with Us!
Birthday Parties
Y M
brought to you by SG POWER
We offer a complete line of entry level dirt bikes, 50cc, 70cc, 90cc non clutch bikes and 80cc,110cc, 125cc 4 strokes with clutches. All safety gear is supplied, from boots to helmets and everything in between. This 1.5 hour Learn to Ride with Us course includes the basics of a motorcycle orientation including safety gear and safe riding habits, stop-n-go circle riding, escorted first laps on motocross track, and supervised solo riding sessions.
Our great instructors will treat you to an action packed two hours of fun and fitness in our great facility!
A
A S
Pool, Skate, or Soccer parties at Oak Bay Recreation Centre!
I
22 Island Parent Magazine
GYMNASTICS
N
T
www.recreation.oakbay.ca
FALCON
G
N Celebrate your birthday with us!
Call 250-370-7200
Call 250-595-SWIM (7946)
2207 Millstream Road Victoria, BC V9B 0J7 Tel: 250.590.8088 Cel: 250.893.9547
C S
th
40 sary r Annive 2013 1973–
• 2 large decorated birthday rooms • Free T-shirt for birthday child, invitations for up to 10 children • The ONLY Inflatable Climbing Mountain with trampoline in town • Party Time now offered for many different groups (schools, daycare centres)
Book Early: 250-479-6424
#208 – 721 Vanalman Ave
(Broadmead & Royal Oak Area)
www.falcongymnastics.com
S T I C S
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Party Directory
Par-T-Perfect
ctoria
(250) 386-JUMP (5867) www.par-t-perfect.com • Indoor facility options for all your bouncy castle and inflatable requirements • School fairs/festivals and picnics • At home/indoor theme parties, i.e. Teddy Bear stuffing, craft parties • Free gift for birthday child when you mention this ad • Costumed facepainters and balloon twisters, i.e. princesses, pirates, ragdoll style clowns • Follow us on Facebook and Twitter
Gymnastics
Birthday Parties Come Fly With Us!
VICTORIA Victoria’s first indoor black light mini golf.
YOU‛LL FLIP OVER OUR BIRTHDAY PARTIES * Greater Victoria‛s newest, largest and cleanest facility with hassle free parking for you and your guests * * Large private party rooms * * Experienced Qualified Fun Coaches * * 3 Trampolines & 40ft Tumble Trac * * Awesome Foam Pit *
250-383-FLIP
www.lionspridegymnastics.com Located in Langford
Party sizes up to 18 kids
Featuring 6 private party rooms: • Birthday Parties • Staff Functions • Corporate Events
We supply table top cover, napkins, hats, streamers and balloons Optional character
Party Packages with private room:
Two certified instructors and a host Optional character
$12 per person, 6 person minimum.
Gymnastics games and music
103–737 Goldstream Ave
Optional character
250-590-8433
glowminigolfvictoria.com
Free t-shirt
Optional character
HASSLE FREE PARTIES for kids & families
FUNTIME INFLATABLES Vancouver Island’s #1 choice for party rentals
250-474-0597
You provide the space and food… We‛ll provide an hour of fun with puppet shows and play
250 472 3546 www.puppetbooth.homestead.com IslandParent.ca
Optional character
Optional character
Foam landing pit and 40' long trampoline Party participants can win a FREE month
Available Saturday & Sunday Afternoons Optional character
Corner of Store & Pembroke We offer the largest selection of inflatables on Vancouver Island—trust your party or special event to the experts—the original bouncy castle company, serving Vancouver Island since 1990.
www.funtimeinflatables.ca
www.victoriagymnastics.com
250-380-2442 April 2015
23
Matinees for KIDS!
Saturdays & Sundays at 1pm All Seats $4.75
Penguins of Madagascar Apr 11 & 12: Paddington Apr 18 & 19: The Book of Life Apr 25 & 26: The Princess Bride APR 4 & 5:
cinecenta
.com
Student Union Building, UVIC | 721-8365
Sarah Conley
How Much Is Enough? Balancing life with its endless opportunities
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BC SPCA Summer Camps
Victoria,* Comox, Cowichan, Nanaimo Ages: 7-11
*one week each for ages 6& 7, 12&13 only The other six weeks for ages 8-11.
Join us for summer camps filled with animal-themed games, activities, crafts, guest speakers, and some hands-on time with animals.
For more information and to register: spca.bc.ca/camp
Glenlyon Norfolk School Marine Adventure Program Teen Marine Kayak Camps – Summer 2015 Ph 250-370-6852 Email dtyrrell@mygns.ca Day Camps: July 27–31, Aug 10–14
These popular camps (9:00–4:30) for children ages 11 to 12 cover all the basics in sea kayaking, with plenty of fun for the younger paddler. Cost: $275.00
Teen Barkley Sound: July 5–10 Teen Johnstone Strait: Aug 23–28 Two exciting sea kayak camping expeditions for teens ages 15–17. Cost: $675.00 + tax
Discovery Camps: July 13–17, Aug 3–7
For ages 13 to 14, sea kayaking basics, rescues, games, and a three-day camping experience on Discovery Island. Cost: $295.00 + tax
Offering marine adventure since 1995! 24 Island Parent Magazine
iving on the West Coast, we’re blessed with a temperate climate and range of outdoor activities. There are plenty of things to keep our young children interested each season, from checking out tide pools and salmon spawning streams to nature walks, playgrounds and museums. On Saltspring Island, where I live with my family, we too are surrounded by all kinds of perks. There’s an abundance of wildlife with nature at our door step, access to semi-deserted beaches and trails, cozy wood fires in the winter, or long summer days spent entertaining on the deck or snoozing in the hammock. As much as we love the moat separating us from the business of Vancouver Island, some of us long for the ease and affordability of travelling between two places without the stress of having to catch the ferry. A weekly one-hour swim lesson can turn into a minimum six-hour adventure. And the cost adds up. I could save money and take the bus but then I’d be worrying about the puppy home alone. For many of us living on the Gulf Islands, we’ve come to accept the divide. We like the peace and quiet so we put up with the challenges. But lately, as my children grow older, I wonder if I’m giving them enough. I question my and my husband’s choice of simple living. Are we providing them with ample opportunities? I know there’s been a lot of light shed on children being overscheduled, how a family’s connectedness can break down when they trade sharing meals together for driving their kids to various activities. As a homebody I certainly don’t want to trade our sit down dinners for a nightly rush out the door while still swallowing my meal. But as I find in all aspects of our lives, the key is balance. kidsinvictoria.com
A while back I voiced my concern to a good friend. He looked at me like I’d lost my mind. “Enough?” he questioned. He spread his arms out and looked around. “A community and parents that love them, a garden that feeds them nourishing food, nature in their backyard; what more could a child possibly need?” I knew he was right. I’d been justifying it like that for a long time even though I have loads of gratitude for all we have. I was just worried they were missing out on something bigger. I thought of my sister’s kids in town who were both talented in hockey, swimming, dance, baseball, and lacrosse. How they could jump on their skateboards or strap on rollerblades and glide off to their friend’s house on paved streets with ease. At times I wanted my children to have the rush of adrenaline or comraderies that goes with team sports or the freedom of pedaling over to their friend’s house for the afternoon. When I started writing this article I wasn’t sure it was going to have a happy ending. And then I looked harder. I realize that my kids’ childhood will be different from mine and many others. For now, I’ll have to satisfy myself with chauffeuring them to their friends’ homes, and over on the ferry for a day of skating and swimming lessons. Thankfully our island has wonderful parents that volunteer to teach weekly soccer and baseball skills where the kids trade in competition for sportsmanship. They may have to play against each other their entire sports careers unless they choose to go off island to attain bigger goals. There are also other groups, summer camps, and businesses available to engage them in various activities to satisfy their needs and curiosities. Opportunities to sail, kayak, scuba dive, fish, play music, dance, and create art are all at our fingertips. My only hope is that this foundation sustains them from becoming bored in their teen years. At the same time I hope I can teach them that the world outside their little bubble is different and beautiful too, that it is full of culture and diversity that is energizing and complex. And maybe one day when they’re old enough to step outside these comforts and explore the world’s magnificence, they’ll realize they received enough. Sarah Conley lives on Pender Island with her husband and two children. Her passions include writing, gardening, and raising her family.
IslandParent.ca
New Kids Dentist
Dr. Anita Gadzinska-Myers
is a Board Certified Specialist in Pediatric Dentistry and has a Fellowship in Special Needs Dentistry for children • Accepting new patients now (infants to teenagers) • Referral not needed • Member of Cleft Lip and Palate Team
Special Services:
short wait list • oral sedation • hospital dentistry • nitrous oxide
Victoria Pediatric Dental Centre g We’re Movin
New Location: 205–1830 Oak Bay Ave
www.victoriapediatricdentalcentre.ca
250-383-2133
special needs store Victoria’s local store for special needs families Pressure Vests, Weighted Vests, Weighted Tools Speech, Language & Communication Time Management & Organization Tools Blocks, Puzzles, Educational Games
Calming Products Fidgets & Chewelery Bath Time Fun Gross & Fine Motor Skills
Free Delivery within the Greater Victoria Area
www.perfectdaystore.com hello@perfectdaystore.com 250.216.2445
Thanks for Shopping Locally
Emmanuel Summer Programs 2015 Date
Camp
July 6–10
Little Friends Preschool Camp 9am–Noon Ages 3-5 $55
Hours & Fees
July 13–17 Dance, Music & Cheerleading Gr. 2–6
9am–3pm $98
July 20–24 Science & Soccer Gr. 2–6
9am–3pm $98
Aug. 4–7
Holiday Celebration Camp 9am–Noon Kind.–Gr. 3 $45
Aug. 10–14 ‘Everest’ Vacation Bible School 9am–Noon Age 4–Gr. 6 $15 2121 Cedar Hill Cross Road at the Henderson entrance to UVic If you like Frozen you will love Everest!
Phone 250-592-2418 / Fax 250-592-4646
Please register according to your child’s grade this Fall. Children must be 4 yrs old by Dec. 31, 2015 to attend the camps.
office@emmanuelvictoria.ca / emmanuelvictoria.ca April 2015 25
April 2015
Generously Sponsored by and
Family Calendar For calendar updates throughout the month visit kidsinvictoria.com WED 1
SAT 4
April Fool’s Scavenger Hunt at Royal BC Museum. Don’t let the museum dupe you…can you find the objects that don’t belong? 10am-5pm. Free with admission or membership.
Community Easter Egg Hunt at Tillicum Elementary School. Prizes, refreshments, crafts, and of course lots of eggs to find. Come and enjoy the fun with your family. Sponsored by Lighthouse Church. 10:30am. Info@ lhchurch.ca.
THURS 2 Autism Awareness Walk starting at Starbucks on Fisgard St. Join the staff of Monarch House while we walk through the streets of downtown Victoria raising awareness for Autism. Walk participants to meet outside Starbucks on the corner of Fisgard Street & Government Street at 7:45am. (Walk approximately 2km throughout downtown Victoria). 250-220-8999. Calling All Cottontails! at Emily Carr Branch Library. Hop, hop, hop on over to the library for stories and songs about bunnies, chicks and everything that makes spring so egg-citing. For young children and their families; this program will occur before regular opening hours, and all children must be accompanied by an adult. 9:30-10am. Register at gvpl.ca or call 250-940-GVPL (4875) for more information. Calling All Cottontails at Nellie McClung Branch Library. See above for details. For ages 3-5. 10:30-11:30am. Register at gvpl.ca or call 250-940-GVPL (4875) for more information.
Tartan Day in Market Square. Pipe bands, highland dancers, kilt makers, and tartan weaver, heavy event athlete demonstations, fiddlers, country dancers, and highland dog breed showcase. Noon-4pm. Family Easter Party at Central Baptist Church, 833 Pandora Ave, from 3-5pm. Bring your kids to this family friendlyl event. Easter egg hunt, Easter crafts, egg decorating, story time and tasty treats. Fun for children preschool to Grade 6. Sprintime Heel and Wheel at Francis/King Regional Park. Is this a new country dance? No! Join a CRD Regional Parks naturalist for a guided walk along the universally accessible Elsie King Trail. Strollers and wheelchairs welcome. Meet at the Francis/King parking lot off Munn Rd at 1pm. All ages. 250-478-3344. crd.bc.ca/parks.
SUN 5 7th Annual Signs of Hope in Africa Easter Egg Hunt at Beckwith Park. Bouncy castles, craft station, carnival games, roaming Superheros,
face painting, entertainment, global music with DJ Hings. Saanich Police and Fire vehicles will be on site for your little ones to check out. Coffee/tea/popcorn station. Egg hunt at 11am with three age categories. Visit from the Easter Bunny. Fabulous raffle baskets and BBQ. Rain or shine. $5 per child 13 and under; adults free. 5th Annual Easter Egg Hunt at City Centre Park in Langford. Free fun for the whole family. Bouncy castle, face painting, crafts, inflatable football and more. Bring a non-perishable food item to donate and be entered into a raffle draw for prizes. Important Timings: 10am (doors open); 10:30am (egg hunt for 0-2yrs); 11am (egg hunt for 3-5yrs); 11:30am (egg hunt for 6-10yrs). Shaw Ocean Discovery Centre’s Sea-Shirt Sundays in Sidney from 1-3pm. Held on the first Sunday of each month, this all-age event lets participants create their own fish fashion. Be sure to bring along: a pillow case, cloth bag, or t-short, $2 for fabric paint, and your creativity. No registration is required. oceandiscovery.ca
FRI 10 LEGO Stories at Sidney/North Saanich Branch Library. Use the library’s Lego to build your own creation. Each meeting will explore a different theme, and your creation will be displayed for the next two weeks. Ages 5+ years. Please call to register. 3:15-4:15pm. 250-656-0944.
We’re part of your
active life.
Proud sponsor of the 26th TC10K run.
28 Island Parent Magazine
kidsinvictoria.com
FRI 10 – SUN 12 Victoria Kids Consignment Sale at Eagle Ridge Centre. Baby/kids clothes, toys, gear and much more. Public sale: Sat 10am-4pm; 1/2 price sale: Sun 9am-noon. Free admission. VictoriaKidsConsignment.ca for details.
SAT 11 Tall Trees at Devonian Regional Park. Unlock the mysteries of trees on a fun forest adventure with a CRD Regional Parks naturalist. Follow clues and riddles along the trail to meet Devonian’s giants. Meet at the information kiosk in the parking lot off William Head Rd at 1pm. 5+ years. BC Transit #54 or #55. 250-478-3344. crd.bc.ca/parks. Story Buddies: Little Buddies at Esquimalt Branch Library. Make your own original book, even if you can’t read or write yet! Story Buddies pairs young children with volunteer tweens for creative writing and illustration fun. Your Big Buddy will write down your story, and then you will illustrate it together. For ages 4-6. 2:30-3:30pm. Register at gvpl.ca or call 250-940- GVPL (4875) for more information.
SAT 11 & Sun 12 Vancouver Island Pet Expo at Pearkes Recreation Centre. Vancouver Island Pet Expo delivers tons of animal education and entertainment under one roof. The fun-filled family Pet Expo will feature pet-related vendors along with some unique entertainment. For everyone’s safety (animals included) please leave your pets at home. Saturday 10am-6pm, Sunday 11am-5pm. Phone 250-475-5400 or visit saanich.ca.
SUN 12 Invasive Ivy Removal in Uplands Park at Cattle Point. Join Friends of Uplands Park to remove the invasive English ivy from the endangered ecosystems of Cattle Point. Bring pruners, loppers, saws and gloves to attack this “carpet of death” from under the trees. Tools provided for those needing them, as well as instructions. Refreshments provided. Free. 1-4pm. Meet at the Cattle Point lower parking lot. 250-595-8084.
Rawr, Rawr! It’s a Dinosaur! at Oak Bay Branch Library. Listen to some dino stories, sing some dino songs, dance some dino dances, and do a dino craft. For ages 3-5. 10:30-11:30am. Register at gvpl.ca or call 250-940- GVPL (4875) for more information.
THURS 16 Splash, Bang, Whizz; Science is Fun at Nellie McClung Branch Library. Listen to stories and participate in fun activities which will teach the scientific concepts behind the stories. For ages 3-5. 10:30-11:15am. Register at gvpl.ca or call 250-940-GVPL (4875) for more information.
FRI 17 Calling All Cottontails at Nellie McClung Branch Library. See THURS 2 for details. For ages 3-5. 10:30-11:30am. Register at gvpl. ca or call 250-940-GVPL (4875) for more information. Drumming up Stories at Juan de Fuca Branch Library. Calling all drummers! Try your hand at the African Djembe with Canadian percussionist Matthew Hodgins from Drumming Solutions. For ages 6-9. 2-3pm. Register at gvpl.ca or call 250-940-GVPL (4875) for more information.
SUN 19 Up the Blooming Hill at Lone Tree Hill Regional Park. Join a CRD Regional Parks naturalist for a guided walk to the top of this
Customer Care 1 800 667 8280 Be inspired at thriftyfoods.com/recipes
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accessible peak. We’ll make lots of stops and the views are spectacular. Bring a snack, water, and wear sturdy shoes. Meet in the parking lot off Millstream Rd at 1pm. 9+ years. 250478-3344. crd.bc.ca/parks. Family Sunday at the Art Gallery of Greater Victoria. Inspired by the current Gallery exhibition—Kabuki: Japan’s Dynamic Theatre in Prints—this popular program runs one Sunday of every month from 2-4pm (until June). Drop by for an afternoon of artmaking for the whole family. Visit aggv.ca for more information.
MON 20 Stories on Fern Street. The Victoria Storytellers Guild welcomes you to hear and tell stories. For people who love to tell stories, for people who love to listen, for people of all ages. Tea and goodies. Doors open at 7:15pm, stories start at 7:30pm. 1831 Fern St (park on Begbie). $5; $3/students. 250-477-7044. Visit victoriastorytellers.org.
THURS 23 Author Julie Flett: Wild Berries at Esquimalt Branch Library. Join award-winning CreeMetis author and illustrator Julie Flett as she presents and explores her children’s picture book Wild Berries. Clarence and his grandmother pick blueberries, meet animals and speak Cree in a beautiful woodland setting. For Grades 2-4 and home learners of equiva-
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Little Lego at the Library at Bruce Hutchison Branch Library. Listen to stories and have fun with the Library’s Lego. Bring your own Lego for a take-home project. For ages 4-6. Parents are encouraged to attend. 3:30-4:30pm. Register at gvpl.ca or call 250-940- GVPL (4875) for more information.
April 2015 29
The support you need for the life you want.
lent age. 10-11am. Register at gvpl.ca or call 250-940-GVPL (4875) for more information.
BeConnected supports children, youth and adults to lead rich lives in community.
SAT 25 Family Fun Day at Monarch House. Annual carnival themed day of games and fun activities. 11am-1pm. Free. Please register for this free event by emailing monarchhousevictoria@ cbi.ca or calling 250-220-8999.
· Residential Services for children, youth and adults · Home Share Services · Supported Living Options · Respite Services for children, youth and adults · Community Inclusion Services · Employment Services • Host Agency Services · Other Services and Supports for Individuals and Families Victoria and surrounding communities, the Southern Gulf Islands, Duncan and the Cowichan Valley.
Contact Us! Victoria 1—3891 Douglas St Phone 250-727-3891
Duncan 202—321 Festubert St Phone 250-748-3858 www.beconnectedsupport.ca Find us on facebook!
Ready, Set, Grow at Central Branch Library. Celebrate Earth Day with stories about peace, nature and Earth. Make your own green pet, take it home and watch its hair grow. For ages 5-12. 2:30-3:30pm. Register at gvpl.ca or call 250-940-GVPL (4875) for more information. ArtsCalibre’s Family Discovery Day at Cedar Hill Recreation Centre from 11am-3pm. What excites spirit and passion? Can learning really be fun? Attend this free family discovery day to participate in interactive learning stations and see a presentations about the philosophy behind artsCalibre Academy, delivered by Sandra Walton, Executive Director of ArtsCalibre Academy.
SAT 25 & SUN 26 Native Plant Sale at Swan Lake Nature House. Check out thousands of plants, over a hundred varieties suited to our climate. 10am-4pm. For more information, call 250-479-0211 or visit swanlake.bc.ca. 4th Annual Creatively United for the Planet Earth Week Festival at the English Inn. Live music and entertainment, short films & documentaries, innovative displays, local food, yoga, children’s activities, electric car and bike displays, massage, and healing arts, silent auction, and more. Saturday noon9pm, Sunday noon-4pm. 429 Lampson St. creativelyunited.org.
SUN 26
S U M M E R DAY CA M P S
OPEN TO EVERYONE!
Register online
Friends, Fun, Adventure! T E C H N O L O G Y Lux Mundi Jun 22 – Aug 28 7:30am – 6:00pm
Field trips every day, sports, arts & crafts, theme days, scavenger hunts, and more! Suitable for ages 5 – 10
CAMPS
Week-long camps all summer 9:00am - 4:00pm*
*extended care available
- Minecraft - Lego Mindstorms - 2d Game Programming
Christ Church Cathedral School
Beginners Birding Basics at Island View Beach Regional Park. Ever wanted to bird watch? This is a great time of year for birding, with courtship and territory disputes filling the air with song. Join a CRD Regional Parks naturalist to learn what to look for, and how to use binoculars and field guides. Bring binoculars if you have them. A spotting scope is provided. Meet at the grassy area adjacent to the picnic shelter off Homathko Rd. Ages 9+ years. 10am-noon. 250-478-3344. crd.bc.ca/parks. Family Orienteering at Elk/Beaver Lake Regional Park. Orienteering is a great way to be active with the whole family. CRD Regional Parks naturalists will have maps on hand, and a beginner level orienteering course set up at Beaver Lake. Get active as a family today.
912 Vancouver Street 250 - 383 - 5125
www.cathedralschool.ca
30 Island Parent Magazine
kidsinvictoria.com
Meet at the information kiosk in the Beaver Lake parking lot at 1pm. All ages. BC Transit #70 or #72. 250-478-3344. crd.bc.ca/parks. Wonder Sunday: Field Trip at Uplands Park. Join the Royal BC Museum at Uplands Park to explore the botanical world. 1-3pm. Free. royalbcmuseum.bc.ca.
MON 27 Baby Chat at Central Branch Library. Stay after drop-in Baby Time to learn about baby care and other child-development topics from Island Health practitioners. No registration required. 11-11:30am. For babies 0-15 months and parent or caregiver.
ONGOING BABIES, TODDLERS & PRESCHOOL Drop-in Storytimes for Babies, Toddlers, Preschoolers & Families at the Greater Victoria Public Library. Caregivers are welcome and encouraged to participate. Storytimes are free and drop-in. Please come early to find a space. For a complete schedule of drop-in programs, visit gvpl.ca or call 250-940-GVPL (4875) for more information. Tinseltots Parent Babe Movie Matinees at the Odeon Theatre. Relax and don’t worry if your baby cries. Seat your baby on your lap or in a carseat on the seat beside you. Lowered volume for babies’ tender ears. Stroller parking in the theatre. Recommended for children under one year. Once a month on a Monday at 1pm. $5/ grownup. Subscribe to tinseltots@shaw.ca for information on date and movie to be shown. Good Morning Rhymetime at Sidney/North Saanich Branch Library. Bring your littlest ones to the library for stories, songs, rhymes and movement. For 0-5. Thursdays April 9-May 21, 10:15-11am. Please register at 250-656-0944.
Families Saturday Market at Ganges on Salt Spring Island. Each Saturday, from Easter weekend (April 4) through the last Saturday in October, from approximately 8:30am-4pm, the Salt Spring Market makes for a fun day trip with over 140 artisans and food producers along with live music and entertainment, all oceanside at Centennial Park.•
Cover Photo Contest For the 2015 Family Summer Guide or Kids’ Guide to Victoria & Vancouver Island Send us a colourful, clear photo of your kids or family enjoying a summer moment on Vancouver Island, and it may end up on the cover of this year’s Family Summer Guide or Kids’ Guide. 1st Prize: Main cover photo on the Family Summer Guide and $100 Gift Certificate to the business of your choice on Vancouver Island. Runners up: five or more runners up will receive two IMAX tickets and their photos will be featured on the cover of either the Family Summer Guide or Kids’ Guide. Only digital submissions will be accepted. Send a maximum of three photos of medium or higher resolution. Photos must be colour shots of children or families in Vancouver Island locations. Contest is open to Vancouver Island residents only. Entry deadline is Tuesday, April 7, 2015; winners will be notified by email by May 14. Winning photos become the property of Island Parent Magazine. Send entries to: editor@islandparent.ca
IslandParent.ca
April 2015 31
SUN 12
Around the Island
Family Day Open House at VIU Deep Bay Marine Field Station. Fun activities for all ages, including bird banding, face painting, fish printing, games and activities. 10am-4pm.
Visit IslandParent.ca for these and other events and resources for families from Cowichan Valley north to Campbell River and west to Tofino WED 1 Glow in the Dark Skate at Cliff McNabb Arena, Nanaimo. Skate in an atmosphere of dimmed lighting and special effects. Regular admission rates; glow necklaces $2. 6:30-8pm. 250-756-5200. nanaimo.ca
FRI 3 – MON 6 Bunny Trail at Milner Gardens & Woodland. Bring the children for a children’s Easter Bunny search taking place in the Gardens. Children can pick up maps at the Welcome & Interpretive Centre for clues to spotting the bunnies, and then return the map to the Pool House Gift Shop to receive an Easter treat. 10am5pm. $8.25/adults; Children 12 and under free admission when accompanied by an adult.
SAT 4 Frozen Family Fun Swim at Ravensong Aquatic Centre. Let it go and come for a frozen theme
family swim. Elsa will be here to organize crafts and games like drawing snowflakes on the deck and placing the nose on Olaf. Come and have some frozen fun. 10am-noon. 250-752-5014. rdn.bc.ca/recreation.
SAT 4 – MON 6 Easter Eggspress at BC Forest Discovery Centre. Steam train rides, the Easter Bunny, goodie bags for children who complete the scavenger hunt. BBQ burgers available at a great price. $8/adults & seniors; $6/children 12 and under. 250-715-1113. bcforestdiscoverycentre.com
SAT 11 Super Saturdays at the Campbell River Art Gallery. Drop-in art making program. All materials provided. Children under 12 must be accompanied by an adult. 1-3pm. Admission by donation. 250-287-2261.
K-10 Distributed Learning
Wiggling Worms at Bowen Park Lower Picnic Shelter. Are worms really slimy? Ever wondered what they eat or which end is their head? Come out and learn through games, crafts and stories. Parent participation required. For 3-6 year olds. 3-4pm. $8/person. 250-756-5200.
TUES 14 Free Swim at Ladysmith Parks, Recreation and Culture. Please bring a non-perishable food item and support the local food bank. Sponsored by Coast Realty Group. 6:30-8pm.
WED 15 Lifeguard Seminar at Ravensong Aquatic Centre. Working as a lifeguard/swim instructor is a great job for youth. Work in a team environment; learn valuable leadership and life skills, but most of all have fun working with kids. Find out more at a free info session. 4-5pm. 250-752-5014. rdn.bc.ca/recreation. Sno Cone Swim at Ravensong Aquatic Centre. Join the lifeguards for fun in the pool and a tasty sno cone treat. Everyone welcome.
Hands-On Home-Learning for a Sustainable World - Special Education program available
The joy of learning - naturally.
http://oakandorca.ca http://oakandorca.ca 250 383 6619 888 383 6619) 250 383(1 6609
- unique hands-on learning activities - support from a certified teacher - children learn at their natural pace - NEW interest-based highschool option
Confident Learners…
Expand your skills, build your confidence and find the joy in learning! Nationally recognized Level B Academic Assessments After school remedial learning classes, starting at 3:30 p.m. Language Arts, Mathematics, study skills and higher-level Math and Science All READ Teachers are BC Certified Locations: Colwood, Sidney and Victoria
Call 250-388-7225 for information about our services and schedules Check out the website: www.readsociety.bc.ca 32 Island Parent Magazine
kidsinvictoria.com
Glow in the Dark Skate at Cliff McNabb Arena, Nanaimo. See WED 1 for details. Regular admission rates; glow necklaces $2. 6:30-8pm. 250-756-5200. nanaimo.ca
SAT 18 Bird Beak Buffet at Linley Valley. Have you ever wondered how woodpeckers can make holes in trees, or how to tell what birds eat fish, seeds or insects? Learn about the different types of beaks, and why birds have different types, through exploring and crafts. For 3-6 year olds. 10-11am. Meet in the Linley Valley parking lot. $8/person. 250-756-5200. Symphony Community Day at Port Theatre, Nanaimo. Musical instrument zoo, 11am-noon; meet composer Dorothy Chang, 11:45am-12:15pm; Symphony rehearsal (free tickets must be reserved by calling 250-7548550) 12:30-1:30pm. For more information, visit vancouverislandsymphony.com or call 250-754-0177. Freedom Flight Eagle Release at North Island Wildlife Recovery Centre. Come for lunch, see glove-trained birds and many wildlife booths. By donation. 11am-3pm. Eagle release at 2pm. Jungle Safari Day at Beban Park Pool. Bring the family for some jungle-related games and activities. 4-6pm. 250-756-5200.
MON 20 Hiking Information Session at Oceanside Place Arena. Have you ever wanted to explore some of the area’s beautiful mountains? A local alpine guide shares tips and resources for family adventures and avid hikers. Ask questions before heading out on RDN guided hikes or self-guided explorations. Get advice on clothing, equipment and route planning to help you stay safe and enjoy the outdoors. 6:30-8:30pm. $8.75/person. 250-248-3252. rdn.bc.ca/recreation.
SAT 25 Walk & Bounce for Autism at Calendonia Park, Nanaimo. Registration begins at 9:30am, with walk starting at 10:30am. Super Saturdays at the Campbell River Art Gallery. Drop-in art making program. All materials provided. Children under 12 must be accompanied by an adult. 1-3pm. Admission by donation. 250-287-2261.
SUN 26 Marsh Tour at Hamilton Marsh. Bring your friends and family to explore this amazing marsh outside Qualicum Beach, and learn about the interesting plants and wildlife. By donation. 10am-2pm.
IslandParent.ca
THURS 30 Geology Tour at Nanoose Bay. Join Dr. Steven Earle for an interpretive geology tour on the beaches of Nanoose Bay. Learn simple identification techniques and a bit about the island’s geological history. Transportation will be provided from your choice of either Oceanside Place at 9am or Nanoose Place at 9:30am. 9:30am-12:30pm. Call RDN, Recreation and Parks at 250-248-3252 to pre-register.
Lighthouse Academy of
Dance
ONGOING PRESCHOOL Parent and Tot Drop-in at the HUB at Cowichan Station. Come for songs, organized games, and free play with balls, parachutes and more. This is a wonderful opportunity for parents and young children to connect with other families in the community. Free. For more information, email kids@cowichanstation.org. Mornings with LaFF at the Aggie. Staff and participants create play-based learning stations to explore and enjoy. Bring food to share & make a healthy snack together while making new friends. Monday to Friday, 9:30amnoon. $2 suggested donation per family. Visit familyandfriends.ca. Family Storytime at Cowichan Library, Duncan. Bring the whole family for stories, songs, rhymes and fun. For ages 0-5. Tuesdays 10:3011:30am. 2687 James St. krumohr@virl.bc.ca.
Pure, pleasing, positive.
Photo: Andrei Fedorov
6:30-8pm. Regular admission. 250-752-5014. rdn.bc.ca/recreation.
Beginner–Professional • Boys & Girls • Age 2 – Adult Ballet • Tap • Jazz • Modern • Contemporary • Acro Jazz/Hip Hop • Creative • Musical Theatre • Zumba Highland Dance • Fitness Classes • Special Needs Class RAD & ISTD Exam & Leisure Courses
Summer Camps in July & August Summer Classes in Ballet for 3 levels Summer Preschool & K Dance Program for ages 3–5 & 5–7 Registration begins April 15, 2015! Fall schedule coming soon.
250.595.8705
934 Goldstream Ave, Langford
info@lighthouseacademyofdance.com www.lighthouseacademyofdance.com
CHILDREN Drop in Twoonie Floor Hockey at Nanaimo Ice Centre. Stop by after school and enjoy some ball hockey with your friends. Tuesdays and Thursdays 3:15-4:45pm. $2. 250-756-5200.
YOUTH Youth Drop-in in Nanaimo. The ultimate place to be. This is a supervised space for youth 12 to 17 to hang out and chill. Regular gymnasium activities and more. Program is free, but please register using barcode 134870. 7-9pm until May 27. Monday: Nanaimo District Secondary School; Wednesday: John Barsby Community School.
FAMILY Family Frolics at the Community Centre, Ladysmith. Open drop-in family fun night after work to burn off some energy and get ready for bed! 5:45-6:45pm. $2 suggested donation/ family. 250-245-6424. ladysmith.ca. 9th Annual Golden Shoe Hunt in Oceanside. Instructions for the locations of the shoe will be posted weekly to rdn.bc.ca/recreation and on the RDN Facebook and Twitter pages starting Friday, April 10th. Get your shoes, maps and hiking partners ready.•
April 2015 33
Special Needs Resources Access Speech-Language Services. Language and reading mastery are critical milestones in a child’s development. However, for some children this process is slow and laborious. Unaddressed, it can lead to low self-esteem and years of academic struggle. Our programs are scientifically proven to bring slow readers up to speed and to improve a child’s ability to learn. We use powerful, effective game-like software that turns learning into play. The first step is a free assessment with Marlene Lewis, a registered Speech Language Pathologist. Contact us at (250) 474-6368 or access-speech-language. com to book your appointment. BeConnected Support Services. BeConnected supports children, youth and adults with diversabilities to lead rich lives in community. BeConnected’s services have expanded over the years, and include options for residential services, shared living, respite, community inclusion, employment, and other individual-centred options for children, youth and adults. BeConnected is a Host Agency, we work in partnership with individuals and families who receive Individualized Funding (IF) through CLBC to help you create the future you desire. BeConnected serves the communities of Victoria, Saanich, Sidney, Sooke, Duncan and the Cowichan Valley, and Saltspring Island. Contact BeConnected in Victoria at 250-727-3891; and BeConnected in Duncan at 250-748-3858. Visit BeConnected at beconnectedsupport.ca. BeConnected: the support you need for the life you want. Community Living Victoria’s Autism Services offers dynamic community-based programs for children and youth (6-18 yrs) with Autism. We offer 1:1 Behaviour Intervention, Social Skills Groups and spring, summer and winter Day Camps. Our skilled and caring team draws from various behaviour support models to customize programming for each youth. Fun programming within safe, supportive environments motivate 34 Island Parent Magazine
youth to expand their interests, gain confidence, strengthen social and communication skills, and build friendships. 250-477-7231. communitylivingvictoria.ca The Cowichan Therapeutic Riding Association (CTRA) provides equine-based services for people with disabilities. Through the power of the human/equine bond, CTRA brings together individuals, families and the community in the spirit of healing, inclusion and human growth. We provide year-round therapeutic riding, recreational and sport opportunity, vocational stable management programs, as well as summer horse camps. We also have many volunteer opportunities. 250-746-1028. info@ctra.ca. ctra.ca. The Cridge Centre for the Family has a rich heritage and an even richer future. Founded in 1873, The Cridge Centre provides diverse services to children, adults and families to maximize their opportunities and enjoyment of family life and loving relationships, and to achieve their potential. The Cridge Respite Resource Service and the Cridge Respitality Service work together. Where Respite Resource helps parents of children with a special need find qualified caregivers, Respitality provides a free overnight stay at one of 25 area accomodation partners for parents while their children are cared for at home. To learn more about these services, please visit cridge.org. The Cridge Centre for the Family…because love is the bottom line. Emmanuel Preschool is a welcoming and inclusive Christian preschool, where students with special needs have the support of an additional teacher. Our morning classes are offered either two or three days per week. Both programs are for 3 and 4 year olds and include stories, games, singing, arts and crafts, science activities, free play outdoors or indoors in our gym, and some field trips. We are a safe and caring place! Phone 250-598-0573. emmanuelpreschool.ca. preschool@emmanuelvictoria.ca.
At Hands-On Home-Learning, we believe in an education that nurtures the whole child. We support children to learn at their own pace, in their own way. Our Special Education team applies this philosophy to help meet your child’s unique learning and developmental needs. We offer a flexible program with a desire to work collaboratively with you; as a parent, you are your child’s best advocate. We can work with any existing professionals as well as help locate additional services to support your goals. 250-383-6619; 1-888-383-6619; oakandorca.ca Island Montessori offers individualized programs for all children, including those with special needs and/or behavioural challenges, in an integrated, inclusive setting. Our highly trained and experienced staff work closely with the child’s family and involved professionals to develop and deliver a program designed to meet the developmental needs of the child. We believe that every child has a natural desire to learn, and that they do so best in an atmosphere of warmth, caring and respect. 5575 West Saanich Rd (across from Red Barn Market). 250-592-4411, imhs@ telus.net, islandmontessori.com. Kardel Consulting is designated by Community Living BC to assist in finding the best possible match for the individual and Home Share Provider. We have offered communitybased supports for adults with developmental disabilities since 1987. Kardel provides a range of residential services (including nine group homes and over 90 individuals in Home Share), Community Inclusion and other professional services, in Victoria and other Vancouver Island communities. For more info kardelcares.ca Little Steps Therapy Services Ltd. The perfect union of therapy and education for students Kindergarten to Grade 6 who have special needs. This therapeutic learning program has extremely small class size (3-4 students per class), certified teachers with a high degree of training and support in the area of special needs instruction, ongoing support from Speech Language Pathologist, Occupational Therapist and Behavioral Consultants. Students can earn their graduation diploma in the same way as they can through the traditional school system or participate in a modified or adapted curriculum if appropriate. Contact Linda Amy at 250-386-1171 for more information.
kidsinvictoria.com
Monarch House offers an interdisciplinary approach to treating individuals with Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD) and other developmental disabilities, from infancy to adulthood. Providing individual and group treatment, transition planning for the different life phases, and recreational drop-in programs; our coordinated care and streamlined services ensure individuals reach their full potential. All our clinicians are under one roof which means no wait lists and faster access to services and available funding. No waiting for diagnostic assessments—Monarch House provides timely access to professionals who are qualified to diagnose ASD and other developmental disabilities. For more information, please visit monarchhousevictoria@cbi.ca or phone 250-220-8999. Operation Trackshoes (June 12 to 14, 2015) is a weekend-long provincial sports festival for people with developmental disabilities. It includes a full-length competitive track and field meet, events for people in wheelchairs, and fun and recreational events. We offer a range of activities appropriate for people of all levels of ability and ages. Building relationships between people with and without developmental disabilities is a key component. Volunteers are needed to provide support, assistance, and friendship to the competitors throughout the weekend (similar to a summer-camp counsellor). The number of volunteers determines how many competitors are accepted. To volunteer visit trackshoes.ca or email info@trackshoes.ca for more information. Come and be part of the Operation Trackshoes spirit!
Please visit our website for a complete list www.mylittlesteps.net or call Emily at 250-386-1171, email: admin@mylittlesteps.net
The Vitamin Shop. Is your child sleepdeprived due to ADHD or Hyperactivity? Melatonin is a naturally occurring hormone and is the master hormone that controls sleep patterns. Many parents whose children are challenged with ADHD or hyperactivity find that melatonin will induce sleep while it helps to alleviate their insomnia and sleep disturbances. This may result in sleeping longer with less night-time disturbances, enabling them to function better during the day. Please check with your health professional before administering melatonin to you child. The Vitamin Shop, 1212 Broad St. 250-386-1212.•
IslandParent.ca
April 2015  35
SMUS Summer Academies Performing arts for youth ages 13–18 in Victoria BC
July 6 – 17
SummerVoices July 20 – 25
Musical Theatre
August 20 – September 5
Residential and day options available. www.smus.ca/academies 250-370-6120
FOR ALL KIDS IN VICTORIA AGES 13–18
smus.ca
OAK BAY Figure Skating Club
S P M A C ‛ Z T A R K N ‘RI June 29 to Aug 7
running
Learn and improve your skating skills! Age 4 to 10. Half day camps, full day options. For more information and registration forms visit www.oakbayfsc.ca
Beginner Synchro June Mini-Session ages 7-11 Tues & Thur Sizzling 4:30—6pm Synchro Summer Camps Saanich Aug 10-14 or Aug 17-21 Commonwealth 9 am— 2pm Place option to extend to 4 pm ! Water & Land Activities
Island Parent Magazine
Signs of Depression in Teens A
s parents and caregivers, we want our teens to develop into strong healthy adults. We want to see them thriving and happy. Everyone goes through challenges and hard times. It can be even more difficult for teens as they navigate the world between childhood and becoming an adult. There has been a lot of information in the news about depression. It is important that we do not diagnose depression on our own by using tests that are available on the internet or in books. If you believe your teen may be suffering from depression you can call 811 and speak to a Registered Nurse in B.C. You can make an appointment to see a physician. If it is an emergency, go directly to a hospital emergency department. For more information you can also go to mcf.gov. bc.ca/mental_health/teen.htm The following symptoms of teen depression are well researched and described by The Mayo Clinic Staff and The Canadian Mental Health Association. What to look for:
Emotional changes
Email: jennifervicsynchro@gmail.com
It’s swimming combined with music, dance, gymnastics & drama!
36
Maxine Fisher
SummerBand
Be alert for emotional changes, such as: • Feelings of sadness, which can include crying spells for no apparent reason • Irritability, frustration or feelings of anger, even over small matters • Loss of interest or pleasure in normal activities • Loss of interest in, or conflict with, family and friends • Feelings of worthlessness, guilt, fixation on past failures or exaggerated self-blame or self-criticism • Extreme sensitivity to rejection or failure, and the need for excessive reassurance • Trouble thinking, concentrating, making decisions and remembering things
kidsinvictoria.com
• Ongoing sense that life and the future are grim and bleak • Frequent thoughts of death, dying or suicide
Behavioural changes Watch for changes in behaviour, such as: • Tiredness and loss of energy • Insomnia or sleeping too much • Changes in appetite, such as decreased appetite and weight loss, or increased cravings for food and weight gain • Use of alcohol or drugs • Agitation or restlessness — for example, pacing, hand-wringing or an inability to sit still
The most important thing to remember is that depression is treatable and you as a parent or caregiver can help your teen become more healthy and happy.
COMPREHENSIVE FAMILY DENTISTRY family centered practice extended hours evenings and weekends the latest equipment and caring staff request an appointment online
saanichdentalgroup.com 119–1591 McKenzie Ave, Victoria
250 477 7321
info@saanichdentalgroup.com
Victoria’s favourite dentists believe a healthy smile starts early. Free first visit for children under 5.
• Slowed thinking, speaking or body movements • Frequent complaints of unexplained body aches and headaches, which may include frequent visits to the school nurse • Poor school performance or frequent absences from school • Neglected appearance—such as mismatched clothes and unkempt hair • Disruptive or risky behaviour • Self-harm, such as cutting, burning, or excessive piercing or tattooing Research has shown that counselling can be effective in assisting people with depression. There are times when both antidepressants and counselling are effective for helping teens. The most important thing to remember is that depression is treatable and you as a parent or caregiver can help your teen become more healthy and happy. Maxine Fisher M. Ed., MTA, RCC is a Registered Clinical Counsellor who works in private practise with families, children and adults. Maxine can be reached at 250686-7582 or victoriafamilycounselling.com
IslandParent.ca
April 2015
37
Celebrating 30 Years!
Just Kid d in g! Fo r K ids
Pick it Up, Put it in the Bag Boom, Boom!
S Snow wHITE Adapted by Dufflebag Theatre
Sat. April 11 at 1pm
MalaspinaTheatre at VIU TICKETS: $10 each or 2 for $18 250-754-7587 | theatreone.org
Generously Sponsored by:
Mid Island
Victoria & Vancouver Island 1-866-518-7287 Nanaimo 250-756-9794 Or online at: www.welcomewagon.ca
38 Island Parent Magazine
ince the onset of 2015, I started a journey towards minimalism. Truth be told, it didn’t start as a spiritual journey, but rather a journey wading through the piles of stuff in my living room, which culminated in the arch of my foot being stabbed by an upturned Hot Wheels. Lest my children be home next time I unleashed a similar string of expletives, I started by simply throwing out what had no use. Board books with half the pages chewed off. Toys with broken or irreplaceable parts. DVDs scratched beyond any hope of viewing. The items I purged were so useless no one even noticed. Except me. I was hooked. So, I started systematically purging. A drawer/shelf/area per day. Ten minutes a shot. Every time, another bag donated, recycled, or turfed. I posted a couple of giveaway items per week on Kijiji. That part was really fun. A dozen pewter goblets I had inherited and kept out of guilt were snatched up by someone who was starting a home floral business. A pottery vase I had moved with approximately 14 times, yet had never put flowers in, was a gift for a young man’s grandmother on her 80th birthday. I wish I had kept count, but I estimate that the equivalent of 50 garbage bags left my house in a two month period, plus a couple pieces of junky furniture, which served no purpose other than holding drawers full of useless crap. Keep in mind that we have an 85-year-old, 1,400-square-foot home with tiny closets and a wet basement, and I was never a hoarder. I don’t even have a Costco membership, for Pete’s sake! When all was said and done, I was shocked by the sheer volume of stuff that my house actually held. I figured that this process would simply result in less clutter, which is true, but there have been unexpected benefits. For starters, my house is way easier to clean. The kids are more willing to pitch in, because the mess doesn’t seem completely overwhelming. They only have a couple bins of toys now, anyway. Drawers and closets aren’t bursting, and everything has a place, so it’s easy to put stuff away. There aren’t tchotchkes everywhere gathering dust (and causing me to question my taste). And now, getting dressed is simplified. I only kept clothes I love to wear. There is no decision process when getting ready, except
the need to factor in climate. I like it all. Everything fits. No trying on, taking off, sighing in disgust, and a pile of discards of the floor. Just…putting it on. Same with the boys. My kids are pretty particular about textures and fit, so I eliminated the ridiculous
Is There an App for This? Carly SUTHERLAND battles I was having over insanely cute yet scratchy wool sweaters, and let the them wear the same handful of soft outfits every day. Piles of laundry don’t build up, since I have to wash frequently enough to keep their stuff in rotation. Also, I know where everything is. No drawers are exploding, so I’m not constantly rooting around looking for things. The basket by by the entryway was purged of everything from stale cigars, to a gift certificate to a restaurant that went out of business, to an empty bottle of sunscreen. Now, it holds keys. Groundbreaking, n’est pas? My partner’s unofficial study has shown a reduction in household swearing by 87 per cent. Finally, I find myself—actually, ourselves— more appreciative of what we do own. Gone is the stuff, and what remains are the things that actually bring us enjoyment. We respect them instead of viewing them with frustration and contempt. I like to think that my children are also less likely to take their belongings for granted, since they have fewer of them. A beautiful quilt on the bed. Star Wars Lego…with all the pieces! Music that everyone loves listening to. A true minimalist would say that if your house burned down it wouldn’t matter, because all your possessions are meaningless anyway. I’m not quite there yet, but in a pinch, I could get out within 24 hours if we were evicted. And that is some serious progress. Carly Sutherland recently discovered that she was the owner of three potato mashers. She does not make, nor particularly enjoy, mashed potatoes. The situation has since been resolved.
kidsinvictoria.com
…for the 2015 Softball Season! No experience required! From April thru June, be part of a team, take part in organized sport, sharpen your softball skills, and most of all, have fun! Registration Dates and Times Sat’s and Sun’s: 12:00pm to 4:00pm at Hampton’s Clubhouse On-line Registration 24/7 at www.hamptonlittleleague.org
Softball Divisions (Age as of Dec 31/2014) Minors Majors Juniors Seniors Big League
Ages 7—11 years Ages 9—12 years Ages 13—14 years Ages 15—16 years Ages 17—18 years
Only $60 per PLAYER
Baseball for the underage Little Leaguer - Bring your own team! ALL BOYS AND GIRLS - - -AGES 18 MONS. UP TO 4 YRS. NO EQUIPMENT REQUIRED! INCLUDES BASEBALL CAP AND T-SHIRT All Games played on Saturday Mornings April thru June On-line Registration 24/7 at www.hamptonlittleleague.org Information at 385-0022 or Call Kim at 686-9614 or email: kimdirk@shaw.ca IslandParent.ca
April 2015 39
Safe Sipping Healthy Families, Happy Families
Child, Youth & Family Public Health South Island Health Units Esquimalt 250-519-5311 Gulf Islands 250-539-3099 (toll-free number for office in Saanichton)
Peninsula 250-544-2400 Saanich 250-519-5100 Saltspring Island 250-538-4880 Sooke 250-642-5464 Victoria 250-388-2200 West Shore 250-519-3490
Central Island Health Units Duncan 250-709-3050 Ladysmith 250-755-3342 Lake Cowichan 250-749-6878 Nanaimo 250-755-3342 Nanaimo Princess Royal 250-755-3342 Parksville/Qualicum 250-947-8242 Port Alberni 250-731-1315 Tofino 250-725-4020
North Island Health Units Campbell River 250-850-2110 Courtenay 250-331-8520 Kyuquot Health Ctr 250-332-5289 ‘Namgis Health Ctr 250-974-5522 Port Hardy 250-902-6071
www.viha.ca/prevention_services/
40 Island Parent Magazine
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taying hydrated throughout the day is important for everyone. How can you choose the best way to keep hydrated while protecting your teeth and staying healthy? Many companies market their beverages as healthy choices, but they may lead to negative health effects such as damage to teeth and weight gain. Children who regularly consume sugary drinks tend to not drink healthy beverages, and miss important nutrients needed for growth and development. Natural sugars are in many foods and drinks that we consume each day, such as fruit, vegetables, milk products, grains, beans and legumes. However, sugar can also be added to food and drinks during processing and cooking. This type of sugar is often called “added sugar” or “hidden sugar.” When you consume any food or drink containing sugar, the bacteria in your mouth use the sugar to produce an acid, which can attack the surface of your teeth. This acid can cause cavities. Some drinks, such as pop and energy drinks have phosphoric acid added which can damage your teeth by eroding the enamel. Sipping any drink containing sugar—either natural or added—throughout the day exposes teeth to harmful acids and sugars, especially when consumed over long periods of time. It is surprising how much added sugar is in the fluids we consume daily. We are all aware that pop is high in sugar, but did you know that fruit drinks, sports drinks, energy drinks, flavoured waters and flavoured milks, are high sources of sugar as well?
How do common drinks compare?
Water. Plain water contains no added sugar or calories. It is not damaging to teeth and is readily available. Choose water most often! Milk. Plain milk contains important nutrients such as calcium and vitamin D, which help keep bones and teeth strong. Although flavoured milks contain these nutrients too, they also contain added sugar. One cup of chocolate milk contains four cubes of added sugar. Choose plain milk and milk alternatives, such as soy beverage, most often, and limit flavoured or sweetened varieties. Enhanced Waters. Flavoured or enhanced waters often have added sugar and acids
that may damage teeth. Check the label to see what ingredients have been added. Plain water is a healthier and less expensive choice. Fruit Juice. Although 100 per cent fruit or vegetable juices contain only natural sugars, they are a concentrated source of sugar and can be acidic. Even diluted fruit juice can be harmful. Avoid fruit beverages, fruit drinks or fruit cocktails—these all contain added sugar. Remember: it is better to eat your fruit and vegetables than to drink them.
Healthy Families, Happy Families C hild Y outh & Family Pu b lic Health
DAWN MOON
Tea and Coffee. While some teas and coffee can be less acidic than pop, they may be a source of added sugar in your diet. For example, a large coffee shop “double double” has six cubes of added sugar. Choose plain varieties of your favourite coffee drinks or limit the amount of sugar added before consuming. Children, youth, pregnant and breastfeeding women should limit their caffeine intake. Carbonated Water. Carbonated water is acidic and can damage teeth. This even includes plain or unsweetened varieties. Adding lemon or lime slices will make the drink even more acidic. Choose plain water more often. Pop. A typical can of pop contains about 10 cubes of added sugar. This includes pop that is sweetened with cane sugar or made at home. All pop, including diet pop, is acidic. Remember, the bigger the serving, the more sugar and acid. Sports Drinks. Sports drinks are beverages promoted for hydration during exercise. These drinks are designed for adults doing high intensity exercise lasting 90 minutes or more. Sports drinks are acidic on the teeth and can contain as much as 17 cubes of sugar! For activities less than 90 minutes, adults should skip the sports drink, and choose water and a nutritious snack instead. Energy Drinks. Energy drinks are beverages that contain caffeine. Like sports drinks, they are acidic and contain lots of kidsinvictoria.com
added sugar. They may also contain herbs and other additives that are not regulated by Health Canada. For these reasons, energy drinks are not recommended for children, youth, pregnant or breastfeeding women. Iced Tea and Lemonade. Store-bought iced tea and lemonade contain added sugar and are acidic. A typical bottle of iced tea, for example, contains 13 cubes of added sugar. Try preparing your own versions at home to reduce the sugar content and acidity.
Making healthier choices for you and your family Choosing healthy drinks is a good start to improving you and your family’s overall health. Here are four tips to sip smarter: 1. Most often, choose beverages that contain little or no added sugar and are less acidic, like water, plain milk or milk alternatives, tea or coffee. 2. Use food labels to identify drinks with added sugars. On the ingredient list, look for words, ending in “syrup” or words ending in “ose,” like glucose-fructose (high-fructose corn syrup). 3. If you choose a sugary drink, select a smaller serving size or split the beverage between more than one person. 4. To minimize the time that teeth are exposed to sugar and acids, serve all drinks containing sugars at meals or snacks only. Enjoy water between meals and snacks.
OUT OF SCHOOL CARE We are excited to announce our new Out of School care program for the 2015-2016 school year. Operating Monday to Friday from 3-5:30pm we will provide transportation from school to Greenglade Community Centre. Our program will feature: • Games and crafts September 2015 – June 2016 • Weekly fun swims at Panorama Kindergarten – Grade 6 • Daily healthy snacks $19/day • Active/Learning field trips • Flexible registration options For the 2015-2016 school year, we will be providing transportation from Kelset, Sidney and Deep Cove Elementary.
250.656.7271
Visit www.panoramarecreation.ca for more details
West-Mont Montessori Pre-School to Grade 8 Programs
Pre-School Spaces Available
What about my child? Baby teeth are important for your child’s language and social development. Once your child has teeth, he is at risk for tooth decay. For infants and toddlers, going to sleep with a bottle containing any drink besides water increases the length of exposure of teeth to acids and sugars. Plain water in a bottle at night is safest for your child’s teeth. Babies and children do not need juice. If you offer juice, limit to 1/2 cup (125 mL) per day of 100 per cent fruit and vegetable juice. Sipping any drink besides water, including juice and milk, can lead to cavities. Serve these drinks with a meal or snack only in an open cup. For more information: • Healthy Families BC, visit HealthyFamiliesBC.ca • HealthLink BC, visit HealthLinkBC.ca • Canadian Dental Association, visit cda. ca-adc.ca
West-Mont Montessori School 4075 Metchosin Rd, Victoria t: 250.474.2626 e: info@west-mont.ca w: west-mont.ca
Dawn Moon is a dental hygienist with Island Health’s Child, Youth and Family Dental Program in Victoria.
IslandParent.ca
April 2015 41
42  Island Parent Magazine
kidsinvictoria.com
Happy Trails, Peter C.
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hreds of tinfoil, stray strands of bright artificial green plastic basket liner, and sticky jelly beans covered with dog hair and fluff: Easter morning has swept through like a high tide and left it’s requisite detritus in its wake. We all know how to deal with the chocolate bunnies, although philosophical discussions can break out over ears first versus tail first, and why would anyone ever think that a hollow bunny is a good idea? The eggs, the real eggs, create the issue. Dying them is both traditional and a fun family craft, but using them afterwards can be a challenge. Egg salad sandwiches are delicious, and of course hard-boiled eggs can be eaten straight-up, simply peeled and dipped into salt. Kedgeree is a delicious option to make a meal out of the eggs—there’s a more traditional recipe, and a differently spiced one also included below, as well as one for carrot muffins, in case the cottontailed one dropped any carrots on his way out. Have an eggsellent Easter, everyone!
Helen’s Kedgeree 1 cup uncooked basmati rice 3 hard-boiled eggs 1⁄4 cup parsley, chopped 250 grams smoked trout, or haddock 3–4 Tbsp butter 1 Tbsp curry powder 1⁄4 tsp cayenne Cook rice, as per package directions. Meanwhile, cover fish with water in deep skillet, bring to a gentle boil, reduce heat and allow to simmer uncovered for about 10 minutes. Peel eggs and chop into chunks: set aside. Drain fish and break it up into large flakes with a fork, discarding any bones. In heavy pan, melt the butter over moderate heat. When foam has almost subsided, add curry powder and cayenne. Reduce heat and cook for about 1 minute, stirring constantly. Add rice, stir with fork. Add flaked fish and half of the chopped eggs. Gently mix and cook for 1–2 minutes to be sure entire dish is warmed through. Sprinkle remaining egg and parsley over and serve immediately.
Carrot Pineapple Muffins 1⁄2
cup butter, at room temperature 1 cup brown sugar 2 eggs, room temperature 11⁄2 cup grated carrot IslandParent.ca
1⁄2 cup crushed pineapple, undrained 21⁄2 cups all-purpose flour 1 Tbsp baking powder 1 tsp ground cardamom 1 cup buttermilk Cream together butter, sugar and eggs until light and fluffy. Stir in carrot and pineapple. In separate bowl, combine flour, baking powder and cardamom. Add dry ingredients, all at once, to creamed mixture. Pour in buttermilk and mix until no dry spots remain. Heap batter into nine well-greased (or paper lined) muffin cups. Bake in preheated 375˚F oven for 25 to 30 minutes, or until gently yielding in centre and slightly pulling away from edges. Let cool in pan on rack for 10 minutes before removing.
Asian Spiced Kedgeree 2 cups cold water, for poaching the fish 2 lime leaves, torn into pieces 4 salmon fillets, approximately 3 cm thick (about 750 grams in all) 3 Tbsp unsalted butter 1 tsp canola oil 1 onion, chopped finely 1⁄2 tsp ground coriander 1⁄2 tsp ground cumin 1⁄2 tsp turmeric 11⁄2 cups basmati rice 3 hard-boiled eggs, quartered 3 Tbsp chopped cilantro, plus more for sprinkling juice and zest from one lime (plus lime segments to serve, if desired) fish sauce, to taste Preheat the oven to 450˚F, as poaching the fish can be done in the oven (this hods for the previous recipe as well). Pour the water into a roasting pan, add the lime leaves, and then the salmon. Cover with a piece of foil, put in the oven and cook for about 15 minutes, or until fish is tender. Remove the dish from the oven: drain the liquid into a jug and keep the fish covered. Melt butter in a wide, heavy saucepan (one with a tight-fitting lid) and add the oil. Cook the onion until soft, then add the spices and keep cooking till the onion is slightly translucent and covered with spices. Add rice; stir with a wooden spoon so that it is well coated with spices and oil. Pour in about 2 cups of the reserved poaching water from the jug and stir well.
Cover, bring to a simmer, and cook gently for about 15 minutes. When cooked, turn off the heat, remove the lid, cover pan with tea towel then replace the lid. Just before serving, drain any extra liquid from the salmon, and flake the fish with a fork. Add
Just Eat It! Kathy Humphrey it to the rice along with the eggs, cilantro, lime juice and a drop or two of fish sauce. Sprinkle over the lime juice and zest, and either serve from the roasting dish, or in a larger platter, with extra cilantro scattered over and lime segments for squeezing. Kathy Humphrey lives in Victoria with her husband and two children. She tries to see cooking for a family not as a chore but as a creative outlet.
DOES YOUR CHILD LOVE HORSES? Cowichan Therapeutic Riding Assoc. provides a highly engaging, rewarding, and fun therapeutic alternative for children with special needs. We offer year round programming, plus spring and summer horse camps for all children. To learn more about CTRA contact us today!
Volunteers Always Needed!
No experience required and all training provided. Find out how you can make a difference today!
250-746-1028 info@ctra.ca
Riding Lessons Summer Horse Camps!
April 2015 43
Reading to Write
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ver the past four years, since I founded the Story Studio Writing Society, I have had the privilege of working with countless numbers of wonderful, creative enthusiastic young authors. I am often asked for books and resources that will help young authors develop and hone their skills. There are many such books for adults, some of which have gained bestseller status due to celebrity authors such as Stephen King. There are also plenty of books of varying quality directed towards teaching young authors. While some of these may be helpful, some of the most instructive books for kids are fiction and creative non-fiction books read with a writer’s eye. Reading broadly helps kids decide what kind of stories they like to write. Reading as a writer, looking for interesting word choice, perspective, and style, will help direct their own voice. So first encourage your young aspiring authors to keep reading…all kinds of books and of every genre. And for those itching for more, here are good choices that will inspire, direct and motivate kids to write!
Library Mouse by Daniel Kirk (Harry N. Abrams Publishing, 2007) This is not a book about how to write a story, rather it is a sweet tale about how there is an author in everyone. It is a perfect story to encourage young kids to try to write their own story. The first book of the series is about a mouse who lives between the shelves in a library. He spends his nights reading books and eventually decides to write one of his own. He tucks his own book in the shelves and his creation is found and loved by a child, which encourages him to write more. He keeps leaving his stories to among the library books. The librarian is keen to meet the mysterious, popular author and tries to arrange a ‘celebrity author reading,’ only to discover that the kids coming to meet the author are, in fact, authors themselves. A great motivator to get your young ones to pick up a pen or pencil and see where their imaginations can take them. The Plot Chickens by Mary Jane and Herm Auch (Holiday House Inc, 2010) This is a great introduction to writing for elementary school-aged kids. The pro-
tagonist is a chicken who loves to read. She is quirky and ridiculous and walks readers through the basic steps of story writing—from creating a main character, creating a plot and a problem, using sensory descriptions, building suspense, and creating strong conclusions. These are the basics of writing outlined in a fun way that will set up readers for success.
Show; Don’t Tell! Secrets of Writing by Josephine Nobisso, illustrated by Eva Montanari (Gingerbread House Publishing, 2004) Part of the reason I like this book is the illustrations. They sort of make you float away and celebrate the power of imagination. The book validates the importance of daydreaming. I also like the focus, which is on language and description, rather than story structure. It encourages readers to experiment and think more about their word choice and use. However, it is a bit confusing and complicated, even how the words are set on the page can be a bit of a roller coaster ride. While the illustrations may appeal to younger kids the layout will likely be lost on them. Definitely worth checking it out from the library and seeing what your writer thinks.
Spilling Ink by Ellen Potter and Anne Mazer (Square Fish, 2010) I love this book. It is easy to read, either from front to back, or in snippets, and is packed with tons of great tips, exercises and ideas that will get any keen young author growing and going. Anne Mazer, author of the series Abby Hayes, Sister Magic, and Ellen Potter, writes in a fun, playful tone that makes it feel as though you are having a conversation—nothing textbook about it. Spilling Ink will make kids want to write, not fall asleep reading about writing conventions. The tools it addresses—using dialogue, building strong characters, developing suspense—will go far to inspire richer writing. The book is directed at kids in middle school but is also suitable for strong younger and older writers too.
Writing Magic: Creating Stories that Fly by Gail Carson Levine (Harper Collins, 2006) kidsinvictoria.com
Author of Ella Enchanted and many books on writing for adults, Gail Carson Levine finally wrote a book sharing her wisdom and knowledge with young aspiring authors. With friendly guidance she shares her strategies for developing strong
Book Nook PaiSley aiKeN characters, dialogue, and plot, among other things. There are unique and useful pieces in each section. I particularly loved her strategies for story starters. However, it was the tenth chapter that made me buy the book. Titled “SUFFER!,” this chapter describes how to create suspense and connection by making your character, well, suffer. I loved her method and had never seen it described in the same way. I was shocked to hear that the State of Illinois actually banned her book because of this particular chapter. It seems the concept of making a character suffer was too extreme for them. Doesn’t that make you want to run out and buy a copy? Levine is a middle school teacher and this book will be loved and used by young authors close to that age.
WHAT WE DO:
Monarch House improves access, coordinates treatment and focuses on results. We meet the needs of families and individuals with behavioural, communication and learning challenges including autism spectrum disorder.
SERVICES WE OFFER: Therapy Intervention • Group Programs • Diagnostic Assessments Direct Speech and Occupational Therapy • Parent Support & Education FOR MORE INFORMATION, PLEASE CONTACT US
Unit 211 - 611 Discovery St Victoria P: 250.220.8999 monarchhousevictoria@cbi.ca monarchhouse.ca
An independent, non-denominational camp
Parksville BC
Where adventure and imagination thrive! • Forest Adventure • Outdoor Cooking • Narnian Dramas • Mask Making
• Archery • Swimming • Unique Programming • And so much more…
Summer registration on now!
Early Bird registration deadline April 15 Girls & Boys, Ages 6–15 • Aug 2–8, 9–15 & 16–22
Paisley Aiken reads extensively to her three energetic young boys. She is founder of The Story Studio Writing Society, a charity that grows kids’ relationship with literacy.
www.campnarnia.com Join us this summer for an amazing experience!
you
a place where matter
Open House 2371 Shawnigan Lake Road
May 1 3:30 pm – 6:30 pm Please RSVP
dwightevents@dwightcanada.org
Grades 6 – 12 Weekday Boarding available IB Diploma Programme Diverse Extra-Curricular Activities Summer Leadership Academy
IslandParent.ca
DWIGHT SCHOOL CANADA
Igniting the spark of genius in every child
PERSONALIZED LEARNING | COMMUNITY | GLOBAL VISION
April 2015
45
Family Services Directory This directory, sponsored by Thrifty Foods, features not for profit agencies and organizations serving children, youth and families.
TM
1Up, Victoria Single Parent Resource Centre (www.1-up.ca) provides support, education and resources for parents in the Greater Victoria area through free counselling, volunteer training for reception and peer helper positions, a mentoring program for single moms, and a support group for dads. The Centre also offers over 20 integrated life skills and parenting courses which are open to the whole community (fees are on a sliding scale). Child care assistance is available based on financial need. The Centre provides a bread pantry and free clothing for single parents. Donations of gently-used clothing, small household items, books, and toys are very welcome every Monday and Wednesday. Centre hours are 9–4 weekdays. 602 Gorge Rd. East; call 250-385-1114 or info@1-up.ca.
maintaining employment. Furthermore, we work in tandem with our employer network to support those residents looking for work. If you need help finding a job or need employees please pay us a visit! It’s FREE. 9860 Third St, Sidney, 250-656-0134, beaconcs.ca.
Beacon Community Services is a community-based non-profit agency providing social, employment, and health services to Saanich Peninsula, Greater Victoria, and Southern Gulf Islands residents. Beacon offers: child, youth, and family services; a drop-in family resource centre; counselling; employment services for adults, youth, and people with disabilities; home support; volunteer services and opportunities; community events; affordable assisted living for seniors; referrals, information, and resources; thrift shops. For Home Support information call 250-658-6407; for all other inquiries call 250-656-0134, or visit beaconcs.ca.
The Canucks Autism Network (CAN) provides year-round, high quality sports, recreational, social and arts programs for children, teens and young adults living with autism, while building awareness and providing training through community networks across British Columbia. CAN currently offers Soccer (ages 5-15), Swim (ages 4-15), Physical Literacy (ages 4-11), Family Events and Camps on Vancouver Island. To learn how you can join, please visit canucksautism.ca/join or email info@canucksautism.ca.
Beacon Community’s Employment Services. Beacon Community Services provides a full menu of employment services to the Saanich Peninsula, Southern Gulf Islands. We have been helping people find work since 1982! Our programs build on a client’s strengths and resolve barriers to securing and
Boys & Girls Club Services offer after-school and evening social, educational and recreational programming for children and youth at 5 locations (Colwood, Langford, VicWest, Central Saanich and Esquimalt) and summer camps both in Esquimalt and at our Outdoor Centre in Metchosin. We also offer support to parents through our Parents Together program and parent workshops. For more information on all programs and services visit bgcvic.org or call 250-384-9133.
Family Services of Greater Victoria (formerly BC Families in Transition) is a non profit agency that has been serving families since 1978. We provide a full range of services to the whole family in supporting their relationship and through separation and divorce. Counseling, mediation, legal information and a range of group programs are available for children, youth and adults on a sliding fee scale. Call us at 250-386-4331 or visit fsgv.org. We can help.
HeadWay Victoria Epilepsy & Parkinson’s Centre supports families living with seizures by offering parent workshops three times a year, educational presentations in schools and community groups as well as providing tutoring sessions and one-to-one professional consultations to help your child live up to their highest potential. Keep up to date with the latest research about treatments, lifestyle, and safety issues for your child. We can be reached at headwayvictoria.com, or you can reach the Epilepsy Program Coordinator directly at 250-475-6677. Inter-Cultural Association of Greater Victoria (ICA) is a service agency for immigrants and refugees. Programs offered include cross-cultural counseling, parenting programs (child care available), family violence programs, employment services, interpretation and translation, diversity workshops and training, ESL instruction, volunteering, youth programs and tutoring, as well as intercultural arts programming. 930 Balmoral Rd, 250-388-4728, info@icavictoria. org, icavictoria.org. Learning Disabilities Association of BC, SVI Chapter, educates, supports and advocates for children and youth with learning disabilities and related conditions. Services include a public lending library, individual/ group support for parents and children, professional/ educational workshops for parents and professionals. Child and youth programs include: reading/writing, academic skills, social/emotional skill development and Fast ForWord. 1562 Fort St, Victoria, BC V8S 5J2. Ph 250-370-9513. Fax. 250-370-9421. ldasvi.bc.ca. knowyourrights.ca. Military Family Resource Centre (MFRC) provides programs and services to the military family community including: 24-Hour Information Line; Deployment Information and Workshops; Short Term Counselling, Crisis Support or Intervention; Welcome/Relocation Services; Childcare and Family Support Services; Assistance for Families with Special Needs and Responsibilities. Exciting Volunteer opportunities available! Call the MFRC: 250-363-2640 (1-800-353-3329) for information or visit esquimaltmfrc.com.
Annual Bioregional Fair Sunday, May 31st
11:00-3:00
Join us for children‛s activities, crafts, adult workshops, silent auction of local and eco-friendly items, food and bake sale, and workshops on bioregional/education topics!
250 383 6609 46 Island Parent Magazine
http://oakandorca.ca/biofair/index.html kidsinvictoria.com
Power To Be provides inclusive nature-based activity programs for youth and families living with a barrier or disability who need support to access recreation and their community. We create year-round programs to fit participant needs through activities such as kayaking, rock climbing, hiking, canoeing and more. Visit powertobe.ca or call 250-385-2363 to get involved. Rested Development Sleep Consulting. I am educated in ALL sleep-training methods and together we use a method that best suits YOUR family and values. My services are unique in that I use an integrative approach to sleep using healthy sleep foundations including: emotional well-being, nutrition, breastfeeding, family dynamics, child temperaments, sleep environments, sleep/wake windows, sleep associations, and developmental milestones, in conjunction with sleep training. For more information please visit resteddevelopment.com or call 250-937-0996 for a free 15 minute consultation. Sooke Family Resource Society (SFRS) provides Family Resource Programs including: Prenatal Education and Outreach, Parent-Tot Drop-In Groups, Parent Discussion Groups, Family Support Groups and Outreach, a Toy and Book Lending Library, and Kingfisher Preschool. Sooke-Westshore Child Care Resource and Referral services, as well as all-ages counselling services are also provided by SFRS. Services are provided from the Child, Youth and Family Centres in both Sooke and the Westshore. Call 250-642-5152 for more information or visit our website at sfrs.ca. SFRS’s Welcome Home Program is looking for homes that can support adults diagnosed with a disability looking to gain further independence. The livingsituations are varied and unique and can include living within a family home or a suite in the family home. The needs of the individuals are varied, dependent on the disability, but can include relationship building, life skills, meal prep, etc. For more information, please call 778-433-2023 or go tosfrs.ca. Sooke-Westshore Early Years Centres provide information to families about children and family services, supports, child development and parenting. The Early Years Navigator will assist families with referral information for local early years programming, child care, public health, special needs intervention services, and social supports. The Sooke-Westshore Early Years Centres are hosted by Sooke Family Resource Society and located at the Child, Youth, and Family Centres in both Sooke and the Westshore and can be reached at 250-217-9243. Additional information can be accessed at sfrs.ca/early-years-centre.
& The place online where parents and grandparents get information about their community for their family: Read current and past issues of Island Parent Magazine. Visit our Marketplace to find businesses, programs and services that cater to the little person in your life. Looking for that special something you had when you were a kid? Check out our classified ads. Want to see what’s up today or this weekend? View our calendar of events. Whether it’s dance lessons, parenting workshops, fun days and festivals, what’s happening at your local rec centre or community events—Kids In Victoria has it all! Maybe you are looking for something to engage your mind or perhaps need a little bit of advice. Well we have that too on our community forum. Receive Island Parent & Kids In Victoria e-newsletter for updates and exclusive contests. You can also enter our monthly and photo contests.
Come be part of our community at
kidsinvictoria.com
IslandParent.ca
April 2015 47
Secret Disappointment
S
ome women feel a momentary twinge of sadness when they find out the gender of their baby—either at the ultrasound appointment or at the birth of their baby. For others, the disappointment cuts deeper, and can even turn into depression. This phenomenon, known as “gender disappointment,” is rarely discussed yet quite common among expectant mothers. There is a perceived attitude that pregnant women should be happy “as long as the baby is healthy.” Sometimes confusing feelings of sadness over gender creep in and it can be a difficult experience for the mother to deal with. If you admit openly in any way, shape, or form have a preference for either sex, the worry for many expectant moms is that the disappointment will be interpreted as being selfish or that they won’t be seen as a good mother. Many mothers feel guilt and deep shame over the disappointment about their baby’s gender, so they suppress their sadness and keep it to themselves. In my experience, it is validating for a woman to understand that the difficult emotions stem from grief and loss. Although this can be confusing because there is not a
physical loss of a baby, but it is a loss of a dream nonetheless. Many parents have ideas and dreams about what kind of parent they are going to be and what kind of baby/family arrangement they are going to have. Some people deal with assimilating reality and letting go of the fantasy better than others. Depending on your circumstances and the support that you have, it can be a bigger deal for some people than for others. One client I had who was expecting a girl but was hoping for a baby boy told me: “What’s helped me more than anything is realizing that it is not the actual baby that I am disappointed in. It is about letting go of my own dreams and fantasies. It was almost like I had to mourn the loss of the potential boy before I could celebrate the actual girl.” Simply admitting your feelings to someone you trust, such as your partner, a friend, a relative, or a medical professional, can greatly reduce future complications with your baby. Secretly harbouring these feelings can manifest themselves as anger or disappointment toward the child, lack of interest in the child, or an exacerbation of postpartum depression.
Helpful Hints 1. Do not deny your feelings. Although not comfortable, it is okay to feel angry, disappointed, guilty, or depressed. Admitting
New Parent Pages Diana Hurschler, BScN these feelings to yourself is the first step to working through them. 2. Let time help you heal. Pregnancy and the first few months after birth can be an emotional and physical roller coaster. Hormones, sleep deprivation, and adjusting to an entirely different lifestyle can make you especially vulnerable to disappointment and depression. Be gentle with yourself over this period while paying close attention to basics like healthy eating, resting, getting out of the house with your baby and asking for help when you need it. 3. Be aware that your feelings will come and go. Even with support and help, feelings of disappointment over the sex of your
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baby may be triggered every now and again. Remember that this is normal, and do not be hard on yourself when it happens. 4. Talk and share with other parents who may be feeling the same way if you feel comfortable. There is very little clinical literature or formal resources for women grappling with disappointment over the sex of their baby. Let people know that you would be willing to talk to other women about their feelings. Pregnancy and parenting websites have chat rooms and bulletin boards where women can lend support and advice on a variety of topics, including gender disappointment/ grief. You are not alone in this and being open about your experience can potentially help someone else. 5. Get more help if you need it. An estimated 80 per cent of new mothers suffer from the baby blues after the birth of a child. Symptoms of baby blues can include tearfulness, overwhelm and mood swings that set in typically within three to five days after birth. The baby blues usually disappear within a few days to two weeks after delivery. More intense feelings, including anger and resentment toward your baby, thoughts of hurting yourself or your baby, insomnia, fear of losing control or “losing your mind,” or uncontrollable crying, are signs of postpartum depression (PPD), a less common but more serious condition affecting 10 to 20 per cent of women. Unlike the baby blues, PPD usually lasts more than two weeks and can appear within days of delivery or gradually over time, sometimes up to a year after the baby is born. If you suspect you are suffering from PPD, please take it seriously and seek help immediately. With proper treatment and support, this is a treatable condition. Most of the time any sort of gender disappointment disappears once the baby is born. Getting to know your newborn’s individual personality instead of focusing on gender—while gaining confidence in your abilities as a new mother—can transform any initial negativity into a satisfying and loving relationship with your baby. But if you find the disappointment lingering, before or after delivery, please do not hesitate to reach out and find healthy ways of dealing with your emotions. Remember: you are not alone! Diana Hurschler, RN BscN, childbirth educator, certified breastfeeding counselor, has been helping families in their childbearing years and beyond since 1998. Diana is the proud mama of four little ones. Email diana@ hurschler.com.
IslandParent.ca
The Cridge Centre for the Family Do you have a child with special needs? Do you need a break to rest and be rejuvenated? Then you need to talk to us. We can connect you with a respite care giver and provide you with a night off — all for FREE. Call Gyneth to find out more. 250 995 6412
Serving Greater Victoria since 1873 … because love is the bottom line. We offer four licence group childcare programs: • Infant Toddler • Multi-Age • Three to Five • Before and After School Care
We Offer a Full Meal Program Music classes taught by a Royal Conservatory Teacher. Movement classes taught by a Royal Academy of Dance teacher.
250-590-2722
Email: info@babiestobigkids.com • www.babiestobigkids.com • 949 Fullerton Ave.
It is our mission at Reggio International Academy to offer a preschool experience above and beyond what is offered in the Victoria area. RIA offers a 10 month program of early childhood education, designed for 3 to 5 year olds. - Monday to Friday (8:30am-3:30pm) - Extended Childcare Optional (3:30pm-5:00pm)
R.I.A Early Learning Centre www.reggiopreschool.ca
• NEW • PRESCHOOL PROGRAM
Please check our website for Open House times and our Summer Program.
3307 Wishart Road
250-590-0781 April 2015
49
Preschool & Child Care Directory CENTRAL SAANICH Chrysalis Child Care................................ 250-652-0815 A nurturing and stimulating environment for a small group of 21⁄2–5 year old children. Qualified ECE promotes learning through play. chrysalischildcare.ca.
Brand NEW Infant/Toddler centre is tranquil and serene. All the furniture, shelving and some toys have been hand crafted using the trees on our own property! Programs for 3 to 5’s and for Infant/Toddlers. Spaces avail. NOW! Visit our Facebook blog, and website at lexieslittlebears.com. Call for more info.
Colwood/LANGFORD
METCHOSIN
Goldstream Co-op Preschool........................................ Learning Through Play for 3 and 4yr olds! For registration information go to our website: goldstreampreschool.com.
A Growing Place...................................... 250-391-1133 Half day program (AM or PM) for 2.5-5 yrs. ECE educator, small class size. Our own petting farm. Summer program for July.
Jenn’s Little Bears................................... 250-478-8999 A safe nurturing environment for children from infancy to kindergarten. Our Infant and Toddler Program enriches each child’s development while our 3-5 Program prepares children for kindergarten. Two separate buildings allow each age group space to grow! Leap Forward Childcare......................... 250-818-9225 2758 Peatt RD. Licenced group childcare for children ages 6 months to 5 years old. Offering fulltime and part-time care. Open 6:30am-5:30pm. For more information please contact Amber: info@leap forwardlangford.com, leapforwardlangford.com. Miles of Smiles Nature Junior Kindergarten.................... 778-265-4374 Come See Why Learning In Nature Rocks! Reggio Influenced Philosophy ages 3-5. Have Your Child Become a Nature Detective Today! Email mosnjk@hotmail.com.
CORDOVA BAY Carrot Seed Preschool............................ 250-658-2331 Where children can discover, imagine, construct and learn through play. Wondrous natural playground. carrotseedpreschool.com.
ESQUIMALT Ciara Early Childhood Centre................. 250-386-7369 Education and Fun Hand in Hand! Exceptional care for ages 1-5yrs. Inclusive nature inspired kindergarten readiness program with Christian values. Facebook.com/ CiaraEarlyChildhoodCentre. Island Kids Academy Esquimalt............. 250-381-2929 High quality child care (ages 1-5). Preschool curriculum offered within a warm, caring all-day program. Character development using the Virtues Project. Access to community programs including swimming, skating, Victoria Conservatory of Music. Part-time spaces available. islandkids.ca. La Pre-Maternelle Appletree Preschool................................ 250-479-0292 A French Immersion Program. 30 months to school age. Licensed Christian centre. prematernelleappletree.com.
Highlands Lexie’s Little Bears.................................. 778-432-3600 Only seconds past Luxurious Bear Mountain our HIGHLY reputable Nature Program will not disappoint! Our NATURAL outdoor environment provides an experience like no other…in our own rainforest. Located on 2 acres of treed forest land, your child will learn and grow in NATURE! Our
Child Care
Resource & Referral www.islandfamilyinfo.ca www.ccrr.bc.ca 50 Island Parent Magazine
Metchosin Co-op Preschool................... 250-478-9241 Come visit our stunning natural outdoor playspace, and see how our inclusive, play-based program allows parents to grow and learn alongside their children. Exceptional ECE staff provide a warm and enriching experience for 2.5–5 yr. olds. Come Grow With Us! EST. 1960. Reg. begins March 1 @ 9am. metchosinpreschool@gmail.com. West-Mont Montessori School............... 250-474-2626 Preschool Montessori instruction in a beautiful natural environment in Metchosin. Ages 30 months and up. Providing a balanced approach to incorporating Nature, French, Music and Art into a complete educational program. Be a part of a community devoted to the development of the whole child. Open House: Thursdays 9-11 am. west-mont.ca.
North SAANICH In The Garden Childcare Centre............. 250-654-0306 A GREAT PLACE TO GROW. Offering preschool, full day care, before and after school care for children aged 2.5 to 12 years old. Open all year.
OAK BAY Emmanuel Preschool.............................. 250-598-0573 Children learn through play in our non-denominational Christian preschool near UVic. Bright attractive setting. emmanuelpreschool.ca. Gonzales Co-op Preschool..................... 250-727-1003 Children use imaginations in a Learning through Play classroom and natural playground. Reggio-Emilia inspired, focus is on art, nature and music. Nurturing, highly qualified ECE and ECE assistant. Parent participation options. Allergy aware. gonzalescooppreschool.com. Recreation Oak Bay................................ 250-370-7200 Fully licensed, ECE Daycare, Preschool and Nature Preschool. Play based, child led learning. Afterschool care available.
SAANICH Arbutus Grove Children’s Centre........... 250-477-3731 Formerly known as Goosey Gander Kindergarten. Half Day and Full Day Preschool Programs. Children’s learning is supported and nurtured through inquiry, exploration, play and creative expression. arbutusgrove.ca. Bee Happy Montessori House................ 250-516-6191 Childcare and pre-school based on Montessori approach which meets each child’s need, according to individual development and learning styles.
Camosun College Child Care Services......250-370-4880 Quality licensed facilities on both campuses providing children, newborn to 5 years, with rich early learning experiences in a learn through play environment. camosun. ca/childcare. Carrot Seed Preschool............................ 250-658-2331 Where children can discover, imagine, construct and learn through play. Wondrous natural playground. carrotseedpreschool.com. Cloverdale Child Care.................................250-995-1766 Full time daycare 3-5 year olds. Preschool–register now for September 2015. 3 year olds Tue/Thur 9:00-1:00. 4 year olds Mon/Wed/Fri 9:00-1:00. cloverdalechildcare@ shawbiz.ca. cloverdalechildcare.com. Full o’ Beans Preschool.............................. 250-360-1148 We offer ‘learn through play’ programming designed to foster your child’s natural curiosity and imagination. Flexible scheduling, 2.5 and 4 hour programs, qualified staff. Registration is ongoing! saanichneighbourhoodplace.com. Hoof Beats Preschool & Childcare............ 250-588-2583 Licensed HighScope program fostering learning through nature, farm life, and horses! 3-6 yrs. Year round. hoof-beats.ca. Island Montessori House........................ 250-592-4411 Inclusive, integrated and nurturing Preschool and Kindergarten programs. Located in a lovely rural setting with a focus on nature and outdoor environmental activities such as gardening and composting. islandmontessori.com. Lakehill Co-op Preschool....................... 250-477-4141 Where children’s development is nurtured through a child centered inclusive, play based program. Come visit our natural outdoor playground and meet our loving qualified ECE team. Multiple Levels of participation available, please enquire. lakehillpreschool.org. Lambrick Park Preschool & Childcare.................................................. 250-477-8131 Gordon Head’s only parent-participation preschool and childcare centre. Flexible options, play-based learning and outdoor play. Allergy friendly. Celebrating 40+ years. lambrickparkpreschool.ca. Little Readers Academy.......................... 250-477-5550 An enriched learn-to-read program for your 3-6 year-old! Reading, Writing and Math. Half-day, weekend and evening sessions available. oxfordlearning.com. Neighbourhood Junior Kindergarten..... 250-479-4410 Oakcrest Preschool................................. 250-472-0668 A welcoming, nurturing environment with a large, bright facility. Learn through play with 2 caring ECEs. oakcrestpreschool.org. Pacific Christian School – Pre-School... 250-479-4532 Your child will love the playful, safe environment and caring staff at PCS Pre-School. Come and explore Educational Excellence to the Glory of God. PacificChristian.ca
Looking for child care? Need help with subsidy forms? Taking care of children? Need child care training? Your community’s best source of child care information and resources. Victoria & Gulf Islands: 250-382-7000 or 1-800-750-1868 Sooke: 250-642-5152 Westshore: 250-391-4324 Cowichan Valley: 250-746-4135 local 231 PacificCare (Ladysmith north): 250-756-2022 or 1-888-480-2273 Funded by the Province of BC
kidsinvictoria.com
Preschool & Child Care Directory Puddles & Paints (Nature Daycare)........ 250-658-6573 Introduce your children to the natural world around them! Surrounding them with nature and animals, we build on their curiosity while exploring the outdoors! On 10 acres of parkland the children lead the way towards environmental awareness! With a new ART STUDIO, and weekly lessons from the Vic. Academy of Music... your child’s day will be FULL of wonder and NATURE. Strongly influenced by Reggio. Visit our facebook page for pics of our studio, and handmade toys! Rainbows & Dreams Preschool.............. 250-479-1966 Small classes for 3-5 yr olds in a safe nurturing environment. Children learn through play and fun–developing a sense of confidence, independence and creativity. Highly qualified ECE teacher. Ready Set Grow Preschool..................... 250-472-1530 Inside Hillcrest Elm. in Gordon Head, we help children transition to Kindergarten. Licensed Preschool with highly qualified, warm ECE. heoscmanager@gmail.com. Rogers Child Care Centre....................... 250-744-2343 Trusted High Quality Non Profit Care since 1991. Year Round Early Learning and Out of School Care. For more info go to rogerschildcare.com. St. Joseph’s Catholic Preschool.................................... 250-479-1232 ext 120 • A Christian child centre for 3–5 year olds. • A warm nurturing and challenging program • Offered by St. Joseph’s Catholic School. St. Margaret’s School.............................. 250-479-7171 For girls from Junior Kindergarten (ages 3-4) to Grade 12. Unique STEM-focused curriculum with outdoor exploration, art and music. stmarg.ca. Strawberry Vale Preschool..................... 250-479-4213 Programs for kids 3-4 at “The Little Red Schoolhouse.” An opportunity to be actively involved with your preschooler’s education. strawberryvalepreschool.org. Wiseways Preschool & Daycare............. 250-477-1312 Quality, fully licensed, Christian preschool/daycare for 3–4 year olds. Experienced team of ECEs. Spacious facilities include large playground and indoor gym. Subsidized fees welcome. Call for a tour. wisewaysvictoria.com.
SIDNEY Acorntree Preschool............................... 250-686-1408 Balanced indoor/outdoor program, designed to stimulate natural curiosity and foster empathy and compassion towards others. We believe in the importance of both child and teacher directed activities. acorntreepreschool.ca. Adel’s Play N Discovery House.............. 250-655-4888 Licensed childcare, 3-5 years, Reggio Emilia inspired. Mon–Fri, 7:30am–5:30pm. 2146 Beacon Avenue W. adelplayndiscovery.ca, adelina.gotera@gmail.com. Positive Path Early Learning.................. 250-655-7244 Located near the library and Sidney School, our program has earned a stellar reputation for quality child care and is growing as fast as the children we care for. Space is available for your child to embark on a journey of active exploration and discovery, enjoying a natural outdoor playground and an expansive indoor learning space. Experienced educators foster a lifelong quest for knowledge and guide children with Christian values and virtues. positivepath@shaw.ca. Storyoga Preschool................................. 778-679-4004 Embracing and empowering children exactly as they are. Storyoga Preschool is a nature and yoga based program located in Sidney, BC. storyoga.com.
VICTORIA ArtsCalibre Academy.............................. 250-382-3533 Comprehensive programs for Preschool through Grade 5, delivering academic excellence through music, dance, drama and visual arts. Outstanding educators, locations and facilities. ArtsCalibre.ca
IslandParent.ca
Babies to Big Kids Childcare......................250-590-2722 949 Fullerton Ave. Licenced group childcare for children ages 6 months to 11 years old. Offering full-time and part-time care. Open 6:30am-5:30pm. info@babies tobigkids.com, babiestobigkids.com.
Little Friends Childcare Center.............. 250-479-8423 Infant/Toddler........................................... 250-479-9796 For a creative learning environment. Licensed group facility. Infants/Toddlers/Preschool. littlefriendschildcare.ca.
Castleview Child Care............................. 250-595-5355 Learning Through Play & Discovery. Licensed non-profit, qual. ECE staff. Since 1958. Preschool and full-time care. castleviewchildcarecentre.com.
Little Wonders Preschool (View Royal OSC)..................................... 250-744-2718 A creative and supportive program that will prepare your child for a lifetime of learning! Out of School Care is also available for school aged children. viewroyalosc.com.
Centennial Day Care............................... 250-386-6832 Providing quality childcare for 35+ years. Nature inspired, play based program. Brand new “green” building, central location. centennialdaycare.ca.
View Royal Childcare.............................. 250-479-8067 Preschool structured, high quality childcare. Victoria Conservatory of Music classes. Part time spaces available. 2.5-5year olds. viewroyalpreschool@live.com.
Christ Church Cathedral Childcare and Junior Kindergarten......................... 250-383-5132 ECE and specialist teachers provide an outstanding all day licensed program for 3-5 year olds. NEW location: 1670 Richardson opens March 2015. cathedralschool.ca.
View Royal Preschool.............................. 250-479-8067 Exciting inclusive program in a safe and exceptional care environment. 3-5 year olds. Outside play and themes enrich this program. viewroyalpreschool.com.
Downtown Y Child Care Centre............. 250-413-8869 Enriched program, for children ages 3-5 years, supporting healthy child development and future school success. victoriay.com. Lansdowne Co-op Preschool................. 250-370-5392 An extraordinary learning environment for families with young children. Parent participation. lansdownepreschool.com. Nightingale Preschool and Junior Kindergarten Ltd.................. 250-595-7544 We offer education through creativity and play, providing rich learning experiences through a well sourced and stimulating indoor and outdoor environment. Early years reading programme. nightingalepreschool.com. New Arts/ Drama programme – September 2015 – Kidsworks.ca. Parkdale Early Childhood Centre........... 250-382-0512 ECEs offer the highest quality care and positive learning experiences in our daycare and preschool. Full time or part time. Call for a tour or visit us at parkdalechildcare.ca. Rainbow Express Daycare...................... 250-382-2314 Enriched preschool style program in a daycare setting. Visit our website at rainbowexpressdaycare.com. Ross Bay Preschool................................ 250-383-7445 Positive/supportive program motivating children to learn, discover and grow through play. Daily outdoor time, special guests and community events! rossbaypreschool @shaw.ca. The Sir James Douglas Playschool....... 250-389-0500 Fun, creative and educational ECE program for 3-5 year olds to grow and develop life long skills. Come play and learn in our bright and modern centre in Fairfield. Victoria Montessori................................. 250-380-0534 Unique, innovative learning environment combining the best of Montessori and Learning Through Play. Open yr. round. 30mths–K. victoriamontessori.com.
VIEW ROYAL A Secret Garden Preschool.................... 250-380-8293 Program built on Christian values. Monthly themes, weekly topics and daily activities. asecretgardenpreschool@ shaw.ca. Island Kids Academy View Royal........... 250-727-2929 High quality child care (ages 1-5). Preschool curriculum offered within a warm, caring child care environment. Character development using the Virtues Project. Access to community programs including swimming, skating, Victoria Conservatory of Music. Part-time spaces available. islandkids.ca.
Mill Bay / Cobble Hill Cedar Montessori..................................... 250-710-9007 A beautiful rural setting where children are lovingly supported to learn at their own pace within a stimulating Montessori environment. Starchild Centre........................................ 250-929-3240 Infant/toddler 3 to 5 daycare combines the best of Montessori and Waldorf. Our 9 acre hobby farm enables each child to have a garden plot, participate in planting tree, feeding animals, and other outside adventures. starchildcentre.ca.
DUNCAN Queen Margaret’s School......................... 250-746-4185 Early Childhood Education Program. Co-ed nurturing curriculum to develop the whole child. Healthy snacks and lunch provided. qms.bc.ca. Queen of Angels Early Learning Centre............................... 250-701-0433 We believe that the development of the whole child (physically, socially, emotionally, cognitively, and spiritually) encourages each individual to develop to their full potential. We offer an enriched full day program for 3–5 year olds based on Kindergarten readiness. Sunrise Waldorf School Preschool........... 250-743-7253 A warm, nature-based Waldorf rhythm where wonder is nurtured. Led by Waldorf trained ECE teachers. sunrisewaldorfschool.org.
Chemainus St. Joseph’s Preschool........................... 250-246-3191 An enriching preschool program allowing children to grow as individuals in a safe and nurturing Christian environment.
Qualicum Beach Children’s Discovery Centre................... 250-752-4343 Our program recognizes the uniqueness of each child and provides a nurturing, safe and creative learning environment. Preschool, Groupcare, Out of School care. ECE qualified staff. childrensdiscoverycentre@hotmail.com. Little Star Children’s Centre................... 250-752-4554 Mother, Daughter owned and operated. Earth friendly preschool education inspired by nature. Infused with fun and creative daily yoga practices! Licensed group care. Enthusiastic ECE instructors. littlestardaycare.ca
Port Alberni John Paul II Catholic School.................. 250-723-0637 “Where children grow and learn through play.” We provide a program that will inspire development physically, socially, emotionally, cognitively, creatively and spiritually.
April 2015 51
West Shore Parks & Recreation
SPRING & Slave to the Grind
SUMMER
PROGRAMS H
MAY-AUGUST
Activity Guide
Available April 3rd Registration Begins April 9th at 6 AM
250-478-8384
www.westshorerecreation.ca
52 Island Parent Magazine
ow’s work going, dads? Good? Bad? Non-existent? No matter the answer, I’m willing to bet that it’s pretty allconsuming. And, if you’re anything like me, that can be a problem. As a working dad, your job becomes a huge part of your identity; it becomes a huge part of your life. And now that you’ve got kids, the job is a pretty important part of the whole deal, ain’t it? Those Girl Guide enrolment fees don’t pay for themselves, after all. So I certainly understand if work’s on your mind a lot. But I’ll be the first to admit that work is on my mind too much. During the work week, what precious few hours I have with my little ones is often soiled by me pulling my iPad out of my pocket and quickly checking email, again, as if whatever it is can’t possibly wait for two hours. It can; it always can, and I know that. But, you know…work. Hard to get it off the mind sometimes. All the time. I think work is important. Apart from the obvious financial aspect, I love what work brings to our lives: camaraderie, a sense of purpose, a feeling of satisfaction. Not every job carries with it all of those things, of course, but, generally speaking, work means a lot to a working dad. Often, yes, work defines a working dad. And I’m fine with that. But what I’m not fine with is my own constant thinking about work when I should be thinking about the kids. Now, don’t get me wrong: I see those absurd stories limping past on my Facebook news feed about what someone on their deathbed said, looking back on life. They said they wish they hadn’t worked so much. Well, yeah. Easy to say as you’re dying, not so easy to say when you’re in the heat of the moment. Those new shoes don’t pay for themselves, either, after all. I don’t know many dads who can afford to say, “They’re right! I will work less!” But, there is a point to glean from those tales. Maybe we don’t need to have work on our minds every single hour of the day. I know I do, and that’s the incredible burden we put on ourselves, the thought
that if we’re not doing a good enough job it’ll all fall apart. But, for crying out loud, put away your phone for a couple hours and draw some pictures of butterflies with your kids. The day will come soon enough when they won’t want to draw butterflies with you when you get home from work, and all those answered emails will add up
Dadspeak GREG PRATT to a whole lot of emptiness, and no matter how satisfying you may find a tidy inbox, it ain’t going to massage away that regret. Having said that, I find value in work, and I enjoy talking to my kids about work. I like the idea of them coming to my job for a day for a school field trip when they’re a bit older. I often daydream about what they’ll do when they grow up, and those are some fun daydreams. But I don’t like it when I think no one’s looking and I quickly check email in the kitchen, only to have one of my kids appear in the corner of my eye to ask me something, and I just can’t tear my gaze away from my device until I finish whatever sentence I’m on. Whatever sentence that could have waited; it won’t break your client’s heart but it might break your kid’s heart to act so aloof. I plan on teaching my kids the value of a job well done. But I also plan on teaching them that if they have kids, they need to value every single second they have with the little ones while they’re little. It’s a lesson I could stand to learn myself. Greg Pratt is the father of two children and a local journalist and editor. His writing has appeared in, among other places, Today’s Parent, Wired, Revolver and Douglas.
kidsinvictoria.com
Ad Directory A Perfect Day............. 25 Access Speech & Language................. 7 Arbutus Grove............ IFC Artistic Statement....... 21 Babies to Big Kids....... 49 BC SPCA.................... 24 BeConnected Support Services..... 30 Byte Camp................... 4 Camp Imadene........... 30 Camp Narnia.............. 45 Camp Pringle............. IBC Camp Qwanoes..........BC Camp Thunderbird...... 16 Canadian Forces Sailing Assoc........... 20 Cathedral School......... 30 The Children’s Treehouse............... 15 Cinecenta................... 24 Community Living....... 10 Conseil Scolaire............ 9 Cowichan Theraputic Riding Assoc........... 26 Creatively United for the Planet.......... 42 Cridge........................ 49 Discovery School........ 14 Dr. Joslin, Dr. Morin & Associates.......... IFC Dwight School............ 45 Eaton Arrowsmith........ 55 Emmanuel Preschool.. 25 Family Services of Greater Victoria...... IFC Four Seasons Musical Theatre...... IFC Full ’o Beans.............. 54 GNS Marine Adventure............... 24 Gordon Head Recreation.............. 10 Hampton Little League................... 39 Highland Pacific Golf... 54 IMAX.......................... 18 Island Farms............... 28 Island Montessori........ 13 Kardel Consulting.. 13, 17 Lifestyle Markets......... 18 Lighthouse Academy of Dance................. 33
IslandParent.ca
Little Steps................. 35 Mad Science.............. 33 Making Tomorrow Conference............. 37 Miles of Smiles............. 7 Monarch House.......... 45 Mothering Touch........... 5 North Cowichan Parks...................... 17 Oak & Orca..... 32, 35, 46 Oak Bay Figure Skating................... 36 OCEAN 98.5............... 26 Operation Trackshoes.. 21 Panorama Leisure....... 41 READ Society.............. 32 Rebecca Wellman Photographer.......... 55 Recreation Oak Bay..... 48 Reggio International Academy................ 49 Restart Computers...... 49 Royal BC Museum...... 31 Saanich Dental........... 37 Saanich Recreation....... 1 Serious Coffee............ 19 St. Michaels University School..... 36 St. Margaret’s School.. 15 Sunrise Waldorf.......... 11 Sylvan Learning.......... 27 Theatre One............... 38 Thrifty Foods............... 29 TJ’s The Kiddies Store...................... 19 Tom Lee Music........... 41 UVic Vikes.................. 56 Victoria Bug Zoo Victoria Children’s Choir........................ 8 Victoria Pediatric Dental..................... 25 Victoria School for Ideal Education........ 55 Victoria Sport Synchro.................. 36 VIHA........................... 40 Vitamin Shop................ 3 Welcome Wagon......... 38 West-Mont School...... 41 Westshore Parks & Recreation.............. 52
Island Business & Professional Directory Does your child have difficulty reading?
Move to the head of the class.
One Tutor
• can’t read words just read earlier • letter reversal • symptoms of dyslexia • “sounds out” words but can not blend them correctly • confuses similar sounding words • avoids reading/poor speller I offer an effective program that works! Call for more information or to arrange your individualized one-on-one tutoring solution.
Brenda Osadchy 778-440-0997
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One Student Your Home
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Call 250-544-1588 to learn more.
Baby Equipment Rentals re entirely Child and family fo ervices a cused Our s
Our Services Include • Supervised Parent Time • Supervised Phone Calls • Supervised Exchanges • Professional Reports
• Review Sessions • Court Attendance • Parent Plan Consulting • Voice of the Child Reports
Office 250.590.4114
Cell 250.216.2286 • Fax 250.984.7560
Email teh@tsconsultingvictoria.ca
830 Pembroke Street, Victoria, BC V8T 1H9
• all size carseats • strollers • playpens • high chairs • baby gates All items rent for $2.50 per day, minimum charge $5.00. Credit card deposit required for all rentals.
Kiddin’ Around
A3–9769 Fifth St, Sidney, BC 250-656-1041 • 1-866-503-5437 kiddinaround@telus.net
Join the Conversation at Kids In Victoria & Island Parent
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Take a swing at our
Junior Summer Camps! No clubs? No problem.
Call the Golf Shop or visit our website for more information:
Be Curious & Look Closely
I
rang in 2015 in the best possible way— with friends, enjoying the sunshine on Vancouver Islands’ south west coast. We planned our trip to Botanical Beach to coincide with low-tide. With the whole intertidal zone exposed, hundreds of tide pools would tell a story from the high to low tide lines. On Botanical beach, sandstone slabs make up a long shelf that juts into the ocean. Over thousands of years, rolling waves
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Children know how to do this instinctively, to take a moment to really observe things and see what lies beneath the surface. For many of us, life speeds up as we become adults and we forget to slow down and pay attention to the details. Botanical Beach is a great place to explore with kids—and to be a kid again. For me, the tidal pools are an invitation to be curious. One tide pool in particular called for my attention. I was out far on the shelf, close the low-tide line. The roaring waves acted as a constant reminder of my proximity to the ‘surf zone.’ The pool was deep and clear, and vibrantly alive. The walls of
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Island Parent Magazine
have carved the shelf, rounding out pools of all sizes that make this beach famous. I spent most of the day crouched, staring into one pool and then another, mesmerized by the colourful worlds they contain. Tidal pools can teach you how to slow down and fine tune your powers of observation. You might be drawn to a jade green anemone, swaying like an underwater sunflower in an otherwise empty looking pool. But if you sit still and wait, a striped sculpin might betray its camouflage and scuttle across the pool, before quickly finding new refuge. Or, as my friends and I found, a rounded “rock” might just reveal itself to be a hermit crab slowly inching its way along the bottom of the pool.
this pool were indented with hundreds of rounded cubbyholes; a purple sea urchin tucked into each of the pockets they have carved into the soft sandstone. kidsinvictoria.com
Getting onto my knees for a closer look, and with my nose almost in the water, I met a final surprise. The tangerine lichen at the rim of pool, was not, in fact, a lichen as I had suspected. It was a nudibranch (or ‘sea slug’). I watched, delighted, as the nudibranch surveyed the water around it with its antennae-like rhinophores (tentacles used to sense water currents and chemicals dissolved
Nature Notes liSa DUmOULIN in the water, somewhat akin to tasting or smelling), and then as gills emerged from its backside in a tiny ring, characteristic of many nudibranchs. Watching this unusual creature, I was reminded how the world is so full of wonder, so much of it unnoticed until we pause and look closely. Of course, just because we don’t see things (or hear or smell them), doesn’t mean they don’t matter. No matter how small, every intertidal species is part of complex ecosystems bridging land and sea. Intertidal species provide important nutrient and food sources for both marine and terrestrial life and, along with their abiotic groundings, buffer against shoreline erosion. Today, many of the tiny things in the intertidal zone are being compromised by pollutants, disturbance, and, critically, climate change. Oceans are warming and acidifying with drastic consequences for invertebrate species and algae, as well as the food chains that depend on them. So whether you can make it to Botantical Beach, another intertidal zone, or even just a local park or school yard, be curious and look closely. Allowing ourselves to be amazed by the incredible diversity and interdependence of our ecosystems, will surely inspire us to value them more deeply. Lisa Dumoulin coordinates the Sierra Club BC Education Program. When she’s not busy investigating tide pools, Lisa organizes education programs and activities for K-8 classrooms across the province.
DOES THIS SOUND FAMILIAR?
Do you know someone who has big dreams but feels held back even slightly by academic or social diffistruggled culties? academically, having I was a brightlearning student who
“I always had big dreamstoofrely what life would consist of. Iyet hadexpending this constant feeling that I had onmy coping mechanisms extra effort all the parts of the puzzlecontinually but my hands how put the puzzle together. This created to didn’t makeknow up for mytodeficits. a lot of frustration and sadness. Through this program I feel that my hands are starting to know where to put the pieces. Building a puzzle seems to feel much better than just carrying it around.” The Arrowsmith Program at Eaton Arrowsmith School and Eaton Cognitive Improvement Centre Victoria enables students with mild, moderate and severe learning difficulties to identify, intervene and strengthen the weak cognitive capacities that affect learning rather than accommodating for such deficits. The result – an independent future where students can dare to dream again. Morning, afternoon and full day programs available for children and adults.
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IslandParent.ca
April 2015
55
Cut It Out!
Tips from Parent Educator Allison Rees of LIFE Seminars
Argue Well
K
ids don’t like to hear their parents argue. It feels like sitting through a minor earthquake. You know that feeling: “Is it going to get worse? Will we survive? Will our structure collapse?” If you and your partner fight in front of the kids, Cut it Out! Actually, if you fight within ear shot, cut that out, too! Fighting consists of yelling, blaming, put downs, criticism, name calling and having to be right. Once it starts, every subject under the sun can be pulled into the massive ball of fire. “Remember Christmas of 1998 when you got so drunk you dropped the turkey on the floor?” “Yeah, well probably just as well seeing as you can’t cook a turkey for the life of you!” We all know when we are in that defensive position. We can feel it in our bodies. We hear ourselves say things we wouldn’t normally say while part of our brain is trying to tell us to stop talking, to shut-up!
Yet once we are in that place it somehow feels good to keep going. The problem is the good feeling quickly disappears once the adrenaline subsides and then we are left with more damage. When we fight, people get hurt, problems don’t get resolved and new problems arise. In turn, you will also see the same behaviours in your children when they talk to you or argue with their siblings. It can also account for many behaviours in children from withdrawing to being explosive. It takes time, willingness, self-awareness and some new skills to change old patterns but what could be more worth the effort? Role model a healthy argument:
• Listen to your partner’s point of view and try to understand what they feel, think and need. • Be comfortable with both of you seeing things differently—that’s okay. • Talk about one thing rather than bringing in unrelated subjects or past events. • Don’t make it personal, stick to the issue. • Accept that your perceptions and assumptions can be incorrect, only your partner knows what they intended, felt, thought, meant….. • Stop a discussion if it heats up and agree to talk later. • Ask yourself what your partner needs, what is the “please” behind the words. • Get clear with what you really want. • Express your feelings, acknowledge them, own them and let them guide you to your needs. With these rules in place, making up will be way more fun. LIFE Seminars has two books available, Sidestepping the Power Struggle and The Parent Child Connection. See lifeseminars. com.
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