Asking for Help

Ijust finished a 90-minute Zoom appointment with a psychiatrist and it was possibly the most important call of my life.

It wasn’t easy.

I had to advocate hard for this support through my family doctor—which I am grateful for—but truly, it was a struggle.

I had to be consistent, following up on what felt like trivial trial-and-error suggestions for medications and their amounts, stopping and starting for years.

I always felt pushback at getting a referral for a psychiatrist because the “waitlist was too long” or “I should try these other things first.” If I’m being honest, I didn’t feel seen— but that’s due in part to our overworked system.

I’ve tried addressing the issues holistically while also blam ing hormones and things like Premenstrual Dysphoric Disor der (PMDD) which are probably part of the problem.

But finally, six months ago, after two gruelling years of following up on my anxiety as a twin mom of three, my doc tor connected me to someone within mental health who lis tened for a quick assessment. At the time, the intensity of my anxiousness was so great that she was able to expedite the process from a full year’s wait to today.

So I finally got to meet with the psychiatrist and she was fantastic. This call was the type of dedicated care I wish could be accessible to everyone— especially mothers.

We spoke of my early childhood, traumas, anxieties and how they have seemingly translated into why I too often feel dysfunctional today.

“I can tell you are strong,” the psychiatrist reassured me, “and that you just carry on with life. You’ve adapted to being high functioning with high anxiety, but it must be exhausting doing so.”

I felt seen.

What baffles me is how difficult it was to make this call happen though, and to finally receive a clinical diagnosis of three distinct types of anxiety (and probably ADHD) after nearly 34 years of life.

The silver lining is that the demands of motherhood were the very thing to dismantle my ability to “just cope” in life and drive transformative self-improvement instead.

We have a plan and I feel liberated.

Some might call my revealing all of this as oversharing, but I feel called to enlighten anyone struggling to advocate hard for yourself.

If I can vulnerably support just a handful of you in the process of bettering my mental health, then I feel fulfilled.

Natasha Mills, an Islander of almost 30 years, enjoys sharing the journey of parenthood and all Vancouver Island has to offer on her lifestyle blog. @mommamillsblog, mommamillsblog.com