The World Turned Upside Down

The World Turned Upside Down How the lack of Islamic modesty among our men and women affect our community

BY NOOR SAADEH

When I embraced Islam over 30 years ago, the contrast to my previous life was quite shocking. Suddenly I saw that everything in the world was upside down. Like most new converts, I thought that running away to live in a “Muslim” country was the only viable choice. Holding tight to my Islamic values in an immoral and immodest society would surely be like holding a hot coal, as so aptly described in “Sunan al-Tirmidhī” (hadith no. 2260).

I quickly learned that Muslim societies had their own share of problems, albeit then without the disintegration of modest and moral values. It was better to stick it out here and share my newfound faith with fellow Americans, who surely would see the value, truth and logic of Islam as I did. And then, maybe together we could make a change.

The world of the late 1980s now seems Pollyannaish compared with the realities of 2020. Could we ever have imagined a covered Muslimah being featured in Playboy (“Playboy’s interview with a Muslim woman mocks modesty and offends women,” Sept. 28, 2016)? Hugh Hefner, whose objectification of women earned him his fame and fortune and defined his time, opened up a Pandora's box and normalized women’s sexualization. This trend has only gathered more steam.

Halima Aden, a Muslimah, who retired from this profession late last year, had graced the cover of Sports Illustrated's swimsuit issue in a skintight burkini — the magazine’s most eagerly anticipated and arguably the most popular one (“Halima Aden Makes History as the First Model to Wear a Hijab and Burkini in Sports Illustrated Swimsuit,” April 29, 2019, https://swimsuit.si.com/). What next?

Open a catalog, a newspaper, a magazine or an ad and, regardless of the location, alluring female models are posing suggestively, marketing everything from cars to toothpaste, and others are alluding brazenly to subjects that were once only suitable for the bedroom. Network television still mandates some censorship, but Netflix et al has no such limitations. Vulgar language and

full-frontal male and female nudity, but more explicitly the latter, have become normal and enter our homes at all hours of the day and night. The more we are exposed in every sense, the less we are scandalized.

What happened to modesty? Haya’ (7:26), a Quranic term commonly translated as bashfulness, decency, diffidence, honor, humility, inhibition, modesty, self-respect, shame, shyness or even timidity, would be severely condemned by feminists the world over. In our race to compete and assume equality with men, we have never abandoned the position of objectification — we have actually increased it! Has it ever been more of a man’s world?

To a certain degree, some men also follow some of this trajectory by embracing tighter clothing, jewelry and nails buffed and shined. Walk down any city street during the summer, and you can see men sporting longish shorts and a shirt, while their female counterparts are wearing the minimum of clothing allowable. Women’s clothing seems to become more revealing every year. Just when we think it can’t get any worse, what’s fashionable proves us wrong once again. We cannot deny these effects on our men. Although there is no known published record of pornographic consumption within our community, Islamic scholars have reported an increasing number of inquiries related to this now common behavior and widespread epidemic. The antonym of haya’ is not just immodesty, but lewdness and obscenity (Sarah Gulamhusein, “Pornography Addiction: An Epidemic”, https://inspiritedminds. org.uk/, March 27, 2108). Yet somehow Muslimahs must still uphold a man’s honor. The Quranic mandate to lower one’s gaze (24:30), which was directed first toward men, seems impossible today. Our scholars admonish Muslim wives to dress and behave like women of ill repute at home to keep their husbands happy and prevent their eyes and actions from straying. And yet such advice clearly violates the very definition of haya’! These women and their non-Islamic lifestyle have become our new role models.

Most troubling of all, how does the young mind interpret and understand all of this?

One of the Quran’s miracles is its eternal preservation, perfect relevance for all times and societies (15:9, 56:77-80, 85:21-22) and unchangeable rulings. In the early 19th

century, people in most of the world, even the West, were covered from head to toe. Early European conquerors labeled Indigenous populations “savages” for their “improper” clothing. And yet today it seems that covered Muslimahs agitate and infuriate their Western counterparts, especially those who want to “save” us from our “patriarchal and misogynistic” men and our “demeaning and oppressive” religion. “You don’t have to wear that here,” they tell us. It’s certainly a world turned upside down!

We can’t blame the kids, for this is their world. It surrounds both them and us. Society falls prey to the almighty wizardry of marketing and the powers of socialization. Women’s fitra, to be admired, has been so manipulated that it’s nearly out of control. Admiration, whether for beauty or character, was originally meant as a means to marriage, protection and support. But today it has morphed into objectification, artfully hidden under the guise of raising the status of women and girls and their rights to be anything they choose to be — and men should just get over it.

We see this normalization in our own communities. A sweet three-year-old Muslim girl — “Oh so cute in her itsy, bitsy, teeny-weeny, yellow, polka-dot bikini. And adorable four-year-old Ahmad in his Spiderman Speedo™. Ah, c’mon. They’re young. Let them enjoy themselves and have fun before the restrictions of modesty set in. Leggings universally have replaced women’s pants for young and old alike. Their skin is covered. That’s good enough, right?”

Now our female teenagers and women pose endlessly on social media, agonizing over the best angle and filter to show their most attractive selves. Full lips exaggerated and lipsticked into an enormous kiss. It’s so normal. If gently brought to their attention that this might be immodest, you are summarily unfriended. And, frighteningly, this is just the tip of the iceberg of what is displayed on social media.

We argue that modesty is in the eye of the beholder or within the determination of any given society. But given that what might be unacceptable in Saudi Arabia is normal in this country, how and where do we draw the Islamic line of modesty in the sand?

One mother’s take seems compatible with this verse: “O children of Adam, We have bestowed upon you clothing to conceal your private parts and as adornment. But the clothing of righteousness — that is best. That is from the signs of Allah that perhaps

OUR SCHOLARS ADMONISH MUSLIM WIVES TO DRESS AND BEHAVE LIKE WOMEN OF ILL REPUTE AT HOME TO KEEP THEIR HUSBANDS HAPPY AND PREVENT THEIR EYES AND ACTIONS FROM STRAYING. AND YET SUCH ADVICE CLEARLY VIOLATES THE VERY DEFINITION OF HAYA’!

they will remember” (7:26).

She taught her young children that clothing prevented sunburn, kept them dry, shielded them from the wind, kept them warm and meant less serious scrapes. Eid heralded excitement and the anticipation of purchasing new clothes. As they grew older and gender differences became obvious, she focused on concealment as a way to fend off unwanted advances and put the focus on their character. Modest attire therefore became not only literal and physical, but also figurative in terms of their bearing and character.

All defenders, even many Muslims, respond that it’s a woman’s right to wear whatever she chooses and that a man should be held responsible for checking himself. After all, doesn’t God first God ask the man to lower his gaze? We forget what God says in 67:14, “Does He not know what He created?”

Islam is a comprehensive, as opposed to a partial, code of conduct, and modesty is its soul. Even though Muslims have become obsessed with women’s modesty, it’s also a virtue for men. In fact, the Prophet (salla Allahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) himself was described as the epitome of modesty in his behavior with people. Yes, men should do their utmost to lower their gaze, but women need to help them in this regard. We are a community of believers, and thus what affects one of us affects all of us.

Let’s reinstate the exercise of jihad as struggle. In this upside-down world, parents are still their children’s role models. What we watch, wear and do affects and forms their character and prepares them for adulthood. Parents who walk the talk of modesty in their bearing, dress and character set the stage for what is proper, no matter how people act around them.

Suddenly forcing modesty on a teenager without the proper early preparation and development typically fails. This is also true of those hypocritical community leaders whose main concern is what others will think if their children don’t conform to Islam’s modest and moral standards.

To avoid such outcomes, both parents need to talk earnestly and realistically with their children about how men and women differ. God guides both genders toward proper dress and propriety out of love and protection, just as the verse states. Far too often we couch His merciful guidance in terms of threats and restrictions — Haram! Shame!

The blessings of the truth are weighty. If Muslims were to model the Qur’anic and prophetic examples sincerely, we could return the world to its rightful state. ih

Noor Saadeh is production manager, Noorart, Inc.

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