Voices

T h e C l o s e t L e t t e r s F r o m L e t t e r s F r o m T h e C l o s e t

Everytime I see a video or movie or a clip from a TV show about someone coming out to their family, I cry. I will burst into tears, because I know that even though the families I see on television are kind and supportive, I know that you won’t be. I know that it will hurt our relationship, and I am so scared to see how much. “ Illustration by Emily Loccisano

I don’t know how to tell you that I am bisexual. I don’t understand why you can’t understand. I am the same person I have always been, but I’m afraid that when I tell you that you won’t be able to see me as anything but that. That even though you raised me to be smart, independent, kind, and loving, that somehow you’ll not be able to look past my sexual orientation. ” Scan the code to finish reading this letter from the closet.

Letters From the Closet is an outlet for members of the LGBTQ+ community who are not out publicly to tell their stories. Anyone who is not out of the closet can submit a letter to be published and shared through Fusion anonymously. This allows for voices of the closeted community to be heard, while allowing other members of the community to read and relate to their stories.

Want to send in a letter? Submit your letters to: ohiofusion.com/contact

FUSION SPRING 2020 Words by David Sparling, Contributor Illustration by Emily Loccisano Questions about cosplay are inevitable when you dress up as characters from your favorite media for fun. But for me, cosplaying was more than just fun. The diverse cosplay community allows for selfexploration, and it helped me discover who I am, what I am comfortable with and what acceptance feels like. Cosplay is a hobby in which the artists, or models, dress up as characters from various forms of media, such as anime, cartoons, television shows, books and movies. People even bring their own original characters to life. It is endless! Many cosplayers also engage in roleplaying as characters in music videos and at cosplay conventions. That is where the name comes from – a combination of costuming and roleplay. As a transgender man, this made way for a lot of exploration when it came to my gender identity. Although my first cosplay was feminine, it is normalized within the community for cosplayers to dress as any character they want regardless of their gender identity. It was a window I leapt through, because nobody in "real life" told me I could up and crossdress any day of the week. My second cosplay was a version of a male character. I was able to wear a wig with shorter hair than my own, apply typically masculine contour with makeup and wear a binder for the first time. I had never purposefully tried to look like a man until then. I look back at the photos and cringe a bit, as I was only 13 at the time, and I have made progress in the six years since then. But I do remember that the euphoria I felt was unimaginable. Cosplay is coping. It helped me find who I was, aids me in alleviating gender dysphoria and supports me through everything I go through. It is a wonderful way to find people similar to you in both identity and interests, and it can add an element of fun, unity or self-exploration to your life. Discovering Myself Through Another To read the full essay, visit ohiofusion.com.

Social Lingerie

Words by Photo by Lyndsey Brennan, Contributor Thomas Chimney, Contributor

The first time I met Hana Baran, she was wearing a grey Calvin Klein sports bra, a matching pair of shorts and nothing else.

I do not know why this surprised me. She is, after all, the CEO of a lingerie company. But I was surprised, and pleasantly so, because she did not apologize for being indecent or throw on a T-shirt. She was so unabashedly comfortable in her body that I found myself relaxing too.

40 Baran, a sophomore fashion merchandising major at Kent State, founded and ran the eco-friendly, body-positive brand Social Lingerie out of her dorm room her freshman year. Since then, the brand has grown to a creative team of nine and prides itself on being “the first all-inclusive lingerie brand in existence,” its website states. This means the brand accepts anyone who approaches them to model, no matter what they look like or what factors caused them to be turned down for modeling jobs in the past. “I gravitate toward people who love themselves unapologetically, and I wanted more people represented,” Baran says. “We’re all so fucking sexy.”

The goal of Social Lingerie is to encourage people of all sizes, races, gender expressions and sexual orientations “to share their bodies, even when society doesn’t encourage them to,” Baran says. This was evident at Social Lingerie’s Valentine’s Day fashion show Feb. 14, where a diverse group of models walked the runway to the thunderous, enthusiastic response of the students in attendance.

As each model strutted past, the audience clapped, whistled and shouted affirmations. The models responded by walking more powerfully, hitting their poses with more emphasis or lifting their chins with confidence. Some of them, taken by surprise at the response, broke character and looked amused. A few even smiled.

Coming Out Is On You, Not Anyone Else. Let's Get Something Straight

Iwish someone would have told me how painful coming out would be. The journey has been anything but easy. It has been challenging, frustrating, confusing and discouraging. Although I have faced disappointing treatment, I do have supportive family and friends, and I firmly believe that everything happens for a reason, whether it be good or bad. The truth is I am gay. For those of you who know me, it is not a big surprise. I obsess over Katy Perry and ooze over the show “Glee,” but just by looking at me, you could not tell. I have been gay all my life, and there is nothing I can do to change it. When I was in junior high, I felt alone and terrified. On Sundays, I prayed the gay away, because I thought I was going to hell. I was confused, and I had absolutely no one to turn to. Even at a young age, family members told me I should not be “queer,” always bending their wrists while they said it. They said being gay is only a small part of who I am, and I should not ever tell my grandparents – they have to die without knowing. I do not understand why a person who loves me so much would say that. Something that troubled me recently was when they got me a large framed poster of Katy Perry’s “Teenage Dream” album cover, in which she lies atop clouds naked, and said, “Keep this under your bed, and don’t tell.” When I first came out to someone else, the initial conversation was positive, but what came later was frustrating. They told me multiple times that if I came out to anyone else, they were “going to punch (me) in the gut.” Words by David Burgett, Contributor Photo by Amanda Stayer

For years, I was in denial. I tried convincing myself I was straight by dating girls. I even had a serious relationship with someone for over a year. Eventually, I started to come out towards the end of high school. It was terrifying to finally hear myself say it aloud for the first time. When I first came out, it was to someone I love, and they said, “I have known gay people all of my life and been friends with them. I don’t think you’re gay. If you are, we will get through it.” This person claimed they did a good job when I came out, but they later told me they do not remember me coming out at all. I understand it can be painful for people to hear for the first time, but to not remember it is unacceptable. I love them deeply, but from a place of ignorance, they continued to hurt me. Further emphasizing their point, on New Year’s Eve years ago, they said, “Cheers to another year of not telling.” It hurt. But since then, this person has come around and supports me. Coming out to other people has proven to be easier, but there have still been challenges. My friends supported me, but that does not mean they have not outed me or talked behind my back. I had a friend ask my roommate how it was living with someone who is gay and if he was worried about changing in front of me. I hope those who made ignorant comments or outed me in the past understand how harmful it is. “Cheers to another year of not telling.”

At the end of it all, I wish the journey would be over, but I still need to come out to my extended family. I know some of them will treat me differently and not accept me for who I am.

If you are still struggling to come out, wait until you are ready. You owe it to yourself. You did not struggle only for others to gossip and share your truth. You only have one chance to come out to the world, and absolutely no one should ever take that right away from you.

If I had to do it all over again, I would say it loud and proud.

I am proud to be gay, but throughout this process, I learned to be strong and to love myself even when it feels impossible. I want you to remember to love yourself too.

Originally, Pride festivals were not the bank-sponsored, police-run, whitewashed parties they are now. In fact, the very first Pride was not a party at all. The Stonewall riots were a protest. ginalized people. While redlining black and brown people and refusing to uphold protections for LGBTQ+ employees, corporations use rainbow products to distract the public from their bigotry behind the curtain. Those impacted are still alive to tell the tale. Words by Jordin Manning, Contributor

Everyone wants to claim they know who threw the first brick that night, but it seems people forget who caused it to be thrown in the first place.

Police harassed members of the LGBTQ+ community for decades, prodding for identification and putting many in danger, Fusion reports. The same police who sicced dogs on my grandparents’ generation and harassed Stonewall veterans are now marching on the streets and perpetuating the same police brutality against LGBTQ+ people displayed only decades ago, according to Pride Legal. While some say what has happened was in the past, they neglect to realize the past shapes the present. If we do not acknowledge our past, we can severely hurt our future.

Law enforcement and the government have waged war on marginalized people for centuries, seen in the forms of segregation, the war on drugs, the neglect of the AIDS epidemic, the displacement of Native Americans and transphobic and homophobic violence. As Winston Churchill said, “History is written by the victors.” Police have been made into a pinnacle of justice and righteousness, yet time and time again, they failed to protect and serve those who needed it most.

What is to be done about police brutality in the LGBTQ+ community? How can we ensure safety during Pride events, while holding police and the state accountable?

Columbus Community Pride (CCP) answers these questions year after year. The event occurred as a response to the Black Pride Four, a group of people arrested at Columbus Pride for protesting a police shooting of an unarmed black man the previous year, The Appeal reports. CCP was created to foster an inclusive environment for people of all ages to celebrate and remember those in the LGBTQ+ community. It screens the security forces it hires and trains people to respond to crisis. It also provides childcare at the event and accessibility for disabled people. ist, ableist, transphobic, homophobic and many other bigoted ideologies to ensure all feel included during Pride month. CCP holds planning committees, movie screenings, speeches and educational opportunities before the event, so community members can inform themselves on issues, according to its website.

Organizations like CCP and the Black Panther Party (BPP) are examples of how marginalized communities can protect and serve themselves without police intervention. The BPP, known for protecting low-income black neighborhoods, is responsible for the WIC program, as its efforts to feed women, infants and children inspired the program’s creation, according to history.com. Community efforts have proven to be effective, the Encyclopedia Britannica states, as they are able to help marginalized people without the use of terror and intimidation tactics displayed in the police force.

While Pride is a celebration of how far we have progressed, it is also a demonstration of our power. We do not need to be validated by the approval of banks or police. Our existence alone is powerful, and the best people to protect us are ourselves.

There is power in the people. That is truly worth celebrating.

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