FILM

from May 18, 2022

by Ithaca Times

TIMES TABLE

Burning down the house

“Firestarter” returns for more scorched Earth

By Bryan VanCampen

It recently struck me that my love of Stephen King comes from the fact that he really was my genre gateway author. “Salem’s Lot” was my rst vampire story, “ e Shining” was my rst haunted house story, “Christine” was my rst haunted car story and “Firestarter” was my rst sci- paranoid conspiracy theory thriller.

A man and woman take part in a shady college drug trial, inherit di erent psychic powers, marry and have a daughter. King’s tale is a classic paranoiac chase tale, with dad and daughter on the run from nefarious government agents who want them as guinea pigs. e number one sign that I am getting old: In 1984, I was 21 when Mark Lester’s lm adaptation of Stephen King’s “Firestarter” was released. I’d already read the novel and was slavering for the movie. Drew Barrymore played Charlie McGee, the little girl who can start res with her mind. David Keith and Heather Locklear played her parents. It’s 38 years later and we’re getting a new “Firestarter” (Universal-Blumhouse-Weed Road Pictures-BoulderLight Pictures-Angry Adam Productions, 2022, 94 min.). e idea of a remake didn’t bother me, as I’ve o en said that the ’84 “Firestarter” was one of the rst really lousy King cinematic adaptations.

I always thought that Drew Barrymore was a terrible child actor, and I didn’t appreciate her until she grew up and out of her bad habits. Also, Heather Locklear is a lightweight, David Keith (not to be confused with Keith David) has stupid eyes, and, ahem, George C. Scott as an Indian assassin named Rainbird? Exsqueeze me? Baking powder? Even back in ’84, that was seriously un-woke casting. e number two sign that I am getting old: erstwhile teen heartthrob Zac Efron plays the father in the remake, and he’s credible.

I suppose the best aspect of Keith omas’ new “Firestarter” is the cast: Efron, Ryan Kiera Armstrong as Charlie, Sydney Lemmon as her mother, Michael Greyeyes as Rainbird and Gloria Ruben as the head of the evil government agency. e trouble is that at 94 minutes, great hunks of King’s story get jettisoned, and much like the wretched attempt at King’s “ e Dark Tower” (2017), we are presented with a potentially rich, detailed world and story, and yet the creative watchword seems to have been, “Let’s get this thing over with.” And no spoilers, the nal shot is a total “Huh?” moment.

Kurtwood Smith (“Robocop”) is wasted as the government scientist who regrets his experimental work. ere’s a scene where Ruben asks him to come back to work; we never see Smith again. erefore, the scene sets up a story that never pays o , and should have been cut, as it doesn’t go anywhere. So the ’84 version is a textbook example of a straightforward A-B-C version of a novel that misses the mark, and while the new version has a better cast, there’s still a whole lot of story that never gets tackled. Maybe somewhere down the line, a third version could get the book right — maybe an HBO series would a ord the time.

One more thing — back in the day, John Carpenter was originally supposed to have directed “Firestarter,” but Universal Pictures red him when his 1982 remake of “ e ing” tanked at the box o ce. So it must have been nice when Carpenter, his son Cody and Daniel Davies were hired by Blumhouse to score the remake. It’s interesting that Davies and the Carpenters came up with a percussive and icy synthesizer score that’s oddly similar in feel to what Tangerine Dream came up in ’84.