MOVIES

Tale of two sequels

One’s the best, one’s the worst

By Bryan VanCampen

MEMO

TO: Universal Pictures, Steven Spielberg and Amblin Entertainment

RE: Jurassic World Dominion

Gentlemen:

Stop this “Jurassic World Dominion”, I want to get o . Seriously. Please. ere’s no meat le on these dinosaurs’ carcasses. e franchise has been picked clean.

“Jurassic World Dominion” (UniversalCelebrateSpringwithUs!Amblin, 2022, 140 min.), billed as the last chapter of the second trilogy – please let’s

Enjoy Indian Cuisine With Us! Order online: NewDelhiDiamonds.com Dinnermenu7days5-10pm NewDelhi Diamond’s Thanksforchoosing NewDelhi Diamond’s forBestIndianFood&BestBuffetfor2010!! No dine in. Order takeout by phone. Delivery through Doordash and IthacaToGo. Mon-Sun: 11:30-3:00 p.m. Dinner: 4:30-9:00 p.m. NewDelhiDiamonds.com Delivery through Doordash and IthacaToGo. Mon-Sun: 11:30-3:00 p.m. Dinner: 4:30-9:00 p.m. Open for takeout! lunch Buffetonly $7.99

Call for takeout: 607-272-1003 • 106 W. Green St. • 607-272-4508 • Open every dayB Be ee er r & & W Wi in ne e • • C Ca at te er ri in ng g • • 1 10 06 6 W W . . G Gr re ee en n S St t. . • • 2 27 72 2-4 45 50 08 8 • • o op pe en n 7 7 d da ay ys s • 106 W. Green St. • 607-272-4508 • Open every day Is it worth a thousand words? Check our art reviews 110 North Cayuga St., Ithaca repstudio.com • 607-272-4292

hope – brings back Laura Dern, Sam Neill and Je Goldblum from the ‘90s “Jurassic” movies and, just like Abbott and Costello, has them meet Chris Pratt and Bryce Dallas Howard from the newer lms, with plenty of dinosaurs to gawk at. And isn’t it sad how no one cares about a great actor like Laura Dern unless there’s another one of these dumb movies to be manufactured? You used to count on Je Goldblum to make movies fun and quirky, but even he looks like he’d rather be home playing piano.

I thought the rst “Jurassic Park” (1993) was okay, but it wouldn’t even make my top ten Spielberg movies, and aside from a few suspense action sequences, “ e Lost World” (1997) was pretty much a lmed deal. Actually, Joe Johnston’s “Jurassic Park III” (2001) is my favorite of the series. Why? Its runtime is 92 minutes. To paraphrase “Barton Fink” (1991), “It’s people! Being chased by dinosaurs! What do you need, a road map?” Gentlemen, these movies don’t have to be over two hours.

Once upon a time, Colin Trevorrow made a sweet, romantic sci- indie called “Safety Not Guaranteed” (2012), and now he’s spent nearly a decade propping up Spielberg’s old theme park ride. Trouble is, he’s not Spielberg, so he shouldn’t be making Spielberg’s le overs. ● ● ●

To paraphrase the late, great Lester Bangs, if you think I’m going to review “Top Gun: Maverick” (Paramount-Skydance, 2022, 131 min.), you’re crazy. But I am going to swim in it. ( anks, Lester.)

I saw “Top Gun” when it opened in 1986, and while I grudgingly admit that this dumb movie actually works on your emotional patriotism, I was 23, I detested the military industrial complex and the whole Reagan era. e movie worked on you, as slick as it was, but I knew “Top Gun” was a very expensive military recruitment ad, and it’s no accident that co-producer Jerry Bruckheimer and director Tony Scott started their careers in advertising. ese movies keep their political details vague and fuzzy, and their bad guys literally as faceless as “Star Wars” storm troopers, and yet “Top Gun: Maverick”, held back almost three years due to COVID, really is what it’s meant to be: a rousing, well-made summer popcorn movie. Director Joseph Kosinski (“Oblivion”) and

A scene from Top Gun Maverick the lm’s three credited writers really try to honor Tony Scott’s original lm – it’s dedicated to him – and connect the new story to the ’86 mythology, so much so that the opening of the lm is a direct copy of the rst, including the opening text, Han Zimmer’s score and jets taking o and landing to the tune of Kenny Loggins’ “Danger Zone”. (Jennifer Connelly ably steps into the female romantic role, meaning that Kelly McGillis, never mentioned in the sequel, gets the fuzzy end of the lollipop. A mute Val Kilmer gets a more loving cameo.) I would have thought that Simpson and Bruckheimer would have made a cottage industry grinding out “Top Gun” sequels; shouldn’t we be up to “Top Gun 6” by now? It took them 35 years to get here, beating “Bill and Ted Face the Music” by six years. en it hit me that, as much as the Simpson-Bruckheimer action-music video aesthetic took hold in the wake of “Top Gun”, none of their movies really spawned sequels. ere’s no “ e Rock 2” or “Con Air 2” or “Armageddon 2” or “Gone in 60 More Seconds” or “Pearl Harbor 2” (Okay, that one makes sense.). (I was ranting about all this on Facebook, and Michael Kehoe pointed out that Simpson and Bruckheimer did produce three “Beverly Hills Cop” movies, a fourth one is in development at Net ix, and Bruckheimer has produced ve “Pirates of the Caribbean” pictures, three “Bad Boys” and two “National Treasures”. So much for my theory.) Best of all, you can watch “Top Gun: Maverick” without feeling compelled to “join up”. Recommended: “Lightyear” at Regal Stadium 14. RIP: Philip Baker Hall (“Secret Honor”, “Midnight Run”, “Kiss of Death”, “Hard Eight”, “ e Rock”, “Air Force One”, “Boogie Nights”, “ e Truman Show”, “Rush Hour”, “Enemy of the State”, “Psycho”, “ e Insider”, “Magnolia”, “Argo”)