FAILURE IS YOUR FRIEND – MY GROWTH AS A FAMILY LAWYER

FAILUREISYOURFRIEND–MY GROWTHASAFAMILYLAWYER

Rohan Kelly

COOTE FAMILY LAWYERS

As law students and lawyers – we are perfectionists and overthinkers. We analyse every situation we get ourselves into in great detail, whether it be work, an exam question or a conflict in our personal life. We like structure and predictability, and when an unexpected or unwanted circumstance occurs, this will often send us into hyperspace.

My article focuses on failure and my sincere experience at dealing with it. First and foremost, failure is not the end of your degree or your legal career. As a law student, I want to reassure you that someone will employ you, and if that firm does not see your potential, another firm will. Failure is an opportunity for resilience and perseverance, and I hope that after you have read this article you approach failure with an attitude that will provide you with further (and greater) opportunities.

I am currently employed as an Associate at Coote Family Lawyers. If you have a keen interest in the Australian family law industry, you will know that Coote Family Lawyers is a specialist firm that is recognised as a ‘Preeminent’ or ‘First Tier’ family law firm in Victoria. The purpose of me gloating about my firm is not to boost my ego, but rather, to assure you that I was not a student with a First-Class Honours average or a clerkship at King & Wood Mallesons to get to this position. If anything, I was the opposite of that.

Failure and University I remember the first time I failed a unit at Deakin - it was the unsurprising and unforgiving unit of Constitutional Law. I got a 44. 8

I disputed the outcome because I believed Dan Meagher’s rants on gay marriage and cigarette packaging were irrelevant and therefore did not prepare me for the exam. Hilariously, my dispute outcome reduced my final mark by 3 marks to 41. I was of course disappointed to receive this mark and felt inferior to my peers. I queried whether I had the intellect to graduate or the capacity to endure a further 3 years of studies (not to mention Consti for a second time!!) After a few weeks of feeling sorry for myself, I decided to reflect on my study techniques. I thought about reading key cases in textbooks, as opposed to copying and pasting lecture slides. I considered listening to every lecture instead of relying upon my classmate’s comments or lecture notes. I even experienced the grief of turning down a Juggernauts function to conduct some late-night case research on the Deakin research database. I did not want to let the glaring ‘N’ on my transcript curtail my confidence. I instead opted to be resilient and take failure as a learning experience.

My self-imposed discipline from my failure boosted my WAM of a 58 at the conclusion of 2013 to a 70 upon my graduation in 2016. For that, I have to thank my 80 mark in Constitutional Law during my second attempt…thank you Dan, I now understand the relationship between gay marriage, cigarette packaging and the Australian Constitution.

The takeaway from this anecdote for law students is that if you do fail –push on. Your dream as a lawyer is not dead and you can still graduate in your expected timeframe. Failure is the time to reflect on your study techniques and carefully think about what you can do better.

Failure and the legal industry Moving forward to the legal industry, I was employed at a firm that I thought would be my ‘forever firm’ . I expected to work there until I retired. During my fresh stages as a Law Graduate, I encountered an email between two partners that was not for my viewing. They criticised my attention to detail and suggested that everyone at a partner level “felt the same” . As law students, I have no doubt that you understand how I reacted to this email – I was sent into hyperspace! What did I do? Am I going to be fired? How am I going to pay my car loan? Is my legal career over before it began?

After discovering the email, HR had a frank discussion with me that my attention to detail had been a concern during my rotation (although during my performance reviews I was not aware there was even a problem!) I was reassured that “the door was ajar” , meaning my offer as a lawyer at the firm (the door) would still be available if I could prove myself. However, I had already felt burned by the failure I experienced from that email and I decided to move firms. Fortunately, the firm I moved to was supportive and provided me with mentoring to develop my legal skills. My partners respected and understood that I was a graduate who was only 6 months into my career as a lawyer.

In my view, there were two options to approaching this situation: 1. Stick it out and prove myself; or 2. Leave.

The purpose of my anecdote is not to suggest that you quit every time you encounter an issue in the workplace –quitting is not always the solution. What made me arrive at that decision was my core values and what I wanted to gain from my employer as a Graduate. I decided to resign because I wanted to be with an employer that was not afraid to tell me where I went wrong, and who would first approach me any issues with me before criticising me behind an email. I value constructive criticism, because without constructive feedback from your partners or mentor, I believe that it is impossible to grow as a lawyer.

Further, the experience made me realise that the grass can be greener on the other side, and that change can foster growth. If I had chosen to stay at the same firm and believe “the door was ajar” , I do not think I would have had the confidence to move firms or gain the knowledge and experience I have inherited from other firms as a lawyer.

This anecdote is not about quitting. It is about reflecting on your values and what you want to achieve from your legal career. Avoid staying at a firm that compromises your values or your mental health, and do not be afraid to accept new opportunities.

Ultimately, failure is your friend because it can teach you to be resilient and encourage you to consider other options. I am thankful to be employed at Coote Family Lawyers and feel that I have achieved what I aspired to be at Deakin – a family lawyer in Melbourne at a supportive and well-respected firm. Indeed, as law students, we should aim for perfection that comes in the form of a ‘HD’ , however, please take my experience as a stark reminder that your career aspirations can still be made possible even when failure unexpectedly occurs.