A gentle Approach to New Year Resolutions!

This might be the need of the hour, as most of us experience the same story every year on 1st January: where we magnify our hopes and dreams for selfimprovement in the form of a New Year Resolution List. While our intentions for setting these goals such as 'getting fitter', 'eating healthier', or becoming 'financially independent', are for all good reasons, somewhere the enthusiasm dies out and leads us to abandon the proposed goal.

This article can be a tool for reflection where we can invite ourselves to take a closer look at the resolutions we have set for ourselves this New Year. When you look back on years past of failed resolutions, you may notice something common in the way we approach New Year resolutions altogether: Notice if one or more of the below approaches seem familiar to you….

A Black-Or-White Approach

When success is measured as either a complete win or a complete failure, there is a higher chance that you will not make room for even the slightest slipups; say- you missed a day of a journal entry- it is easy to get discouraged and give up with this narrow point of view.

A Mindset That Does Not Account For Failure

This one alone can be a sure set-up for feeling like a failure, even if you think otherwise. Your context and reality are important to incorporate any form of longterm changes. It is important to understand your current status and the journey towards your idealized endpoint needs to be gradual, sustainable and supported by a system of behaviours that already comprise your reality.

A Lack Of Specificity

Sometimes resolutions fail because they are too broad. For example, resolutions like ‘eat healthy food’, ‘become fit’ or ‘read more’ are some examples of goals that lack action. Such kinds of goals are hard to measure and lack accountability.

An Emphasis On Achieving Goals

It is important to understand that a goal-oriented perspective can be motivating for some, but it can also reinforce the ‘all or nothing’ principle. Where it is almost like punishing yourself by giving the goal another shot only because you missed a day or didn't find the motivation to complete it for a few days.

Thus, discounting any progress made at all. It is paramount to take note of how you approach The New Year Resolutions list. Your approach can dictate how to integrate these inchmeal changes in your day-to-day life.

Here are five habits that may help you through the process of sustaining these resolutions and in turn, benefit your mental and emotional well-being

Learning to Ask for Help

While this sounds plain and simple, it is very difficult for many people. We, humans, are social creatures and we benefit from living in social groups, supporting and relying on one another. However, through our social construct, we have learned to be independent, and strong and fend for ourselves at all times. This makes it extremely difficult to reach out for help because it can make one look ‘weak’ or ‘incapable’ of taking care of themselves. Know that, it’s okay to reach out to people you share a close relationship with and ask for that help.

Learning to Love Yourself As You Are Now.

Any change is difficult, and while striving for steady improvement is healthy, remind yourself that it’s a process. Recognizing your present status quo is helpful to set realistic goals. Reminding yourself that creating a habit takes time just as you took baby steps to learn the alphabet or to learn how to drive a car.

Adding Movement to Your Life

There has been a lot of research done on how physical movement can improve mental health. It has been proven to reduce anxiety and stress by releasing more happy hormones thus impacting your mood and sleep. If you are looking to incorporate movement, it’s helpful to start small like a 15-minute walk for a month every alternate day or so. Slowly increase it to 20 or 30 minutes every month or so.

Disconnecting From Social Media

Social media has its pros no doubt, but it can be detrimental to our mental health if we engage with it to compare or validate ourselves with another. This can bring about a general sense of dissatisfaction with our own lives. If you find yourself using social media for reasons like these, it can trigger anxiety, depression, a sense of worthlessness, and a feeling of not doing enough or missing out altogether to

name a few. It’s usually helpful to set reasonable limitations on using social media as well as going on a regular social media detox.

5. Being Kinder to Yourself

As you try and build a life to integrate these new changes, you have to learn to be kinder to yourselves. It’s important to understand that this isn’t about perfection; rather it's about making consistent, conscious changes over time. There is no right or wrong way and no one- size fits all when on a journey of building a habit. It’s a process that will entail many difficulties and through consistent effort change is possible.

As it is already evident that your mental health plays a pivotal role in your quality of life. Many of the factors that can affect mental health remain beyond your control, but adding beneficial habits to your daily life can promote wellness.

Reiterating that, when it comes to adopting new habits, it is generally more helpful to start with just one or two at a time instead of a complete overhaul. Having or feeling like there is too much on your plate

could result in procrastination and negative self-talk. Regular check-in with yourself to take stock of how those changes helped is also important to stay accountable and recognize how far you have come in this journey.

If your mental health starts to get worse, it could be time to consider reaching out to a mental health professional, as it can help create a support system for building these habits.

About the Author: Richelle Brito Carvalho is a Counselling Psychologist based in Mapusa. She is the founder of Wholistic Connect, an online counselling service. She also provides counselling services at Antarman, a psychosocial well-being centre, in Panjim She has done her M.Sc in Counselling Psychology from Roshni Nilaya, Mangalore.

If you are facing any psychological issues and wish to seek help, you may contact Richelle on: WhatsApp: 9767969405 Email: wholistic.connect@gmail.com

Instagram: @wholistic.connect.counselling Website: