Naked Beneath: 'A Brand Me Story'

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Naked Beneath: Part 1 Brand Me Module 2021: Summer Homework Word Count / 9,012


Naked Beneath:

Part One

Introduction to Below the Surface /

1 - 20

Part Two 20- 40

Part Three

40 - 60

Personal questions & Reflection

Interviews & comparison Personality Test with Reflection /

13 Images explained Influencers alive & Dead.

Part Four 60 - 80

Part Five 80 - 100 1 - 20 20 - 40 40 - 60 60 - 80 80 - 100

Book 1

Conclusion // Naked Beneath: Part 1




PART 1...


Introduction For our briefing it was focused on understanding yourself in the most transparent way. Furthering your understanding of yourself in a personal way, which then slowly adapts to your professional. When we got this briefing I was initially extremely apprehensive, as I have never been one (so I first thought myself) to bare all my feelings and be completely transparent, so it was safe to say I impression at first was more so jaded, however, as I go along, I will touching upon all the areas of my personal make than I have before, and in turn seeing how that morphs and changes on reflection.


My whole research will be completed in bursts, which gives me time to reflect on what has already been, where I intend to take it and where it eventually proceeds to go. I will be keeping a digital sketchbook that has both my research evidence as well my original imagery to back that up. Both primary and secondary imagery for a variety. I have no idea myself where this research will go or what doors it unlocks, however I will be working through this briefing in the most connected and transparent manner and see where this journey takes me.


ve i t i s n e S .


Personal Questions & Reflection I will be answering the questions given in order from the beginning, and from this we will see how these changes in time as my research progresses as well as compares with other people’s perception of me. First question is, ‘Who I think I am truly when the door closes and no one else is around?’ Firstly, I would have to say in respond to this is that since a child I have always hated being on my own, I always liked and wanted to have people around, this has continued throughout my adult life so far. I find when the silence sets in, I tend to feel quite lonely. Meaning I have never and continued to not be one of those people that enjoy their own company, it has never been like this for me. So, in answer to this question, I would have to say I tend to be more of an isolated and lonely person when it is just me, I tend to think a lot more about things that are either bothering me or upsetting me, things I tend to ignore throughout the busy day when I have plenty of distractions. A large percentage of the time I spend alone is in the evenings, making all these negative connotated topics much more pronounced. I seem to heighten my stress about the future and fulfilling my aspirations, which turns int anxiety and stress of how I will make it happen.



The next question to me answered is, ‘What has been the most pivotal moment in your life so far?’ This question is quite a simple one to answer for me personally, there are two answers to this for very different meanings. I think mine and my families move from South Africa to The U.K. I was at quite an impressionable age of 10, where everything felt like the B all or end all. I remember the whole first 6 months of this huge adjustment was the hardest change I had gone through, moving from all our family members and friends we had grown up with to a new country starting from the beginning was a huge moment for 10-year-old me, it was certainly impressionable. My second answer to this question would have to be my exam failures, I had slacked drastically throughout school, which meant when it came to exams and beginning those steps forward to my future, I had 0 direction and nothing behind me. This was such a pivotal moment for me because it was the push, I needed to kick start my hard-working mentality to achieve everything I wanted for my career future. That feeling of all your peers excelling and having all these achievements while in contrast you had failed all your exams was the moment, I began pushing myself and fully beginning that maturing process that for so long I had flunked.



The Real Questions? ‘Do you ever consider your digital footprint?’ is a question that really made me thought of, I have never really been the type of person to consider my digital/ online footprint and what it entails, however after thinking much about this specific question I think when I do consider it I find myself quite reliant on my digital footprint, I think much like most people I and everyone else get a lot of identity within it. It is something when you think about it so fake and unstable, yet much identity and worth is taken from it, I think I am one of those people unfortunately, so I would say that is how I perceive my own digital footprint in my own opinion. The question, ‘What do you stand for?’ really spoke to me, in the fact that when I look back at what I have been brought up to stand for and define as has certainly changed, I think for me I stand for something quite far away from what I grew up with thinking. Growing up I was brought up in a strong Christian household, with all the various lifestyle choices and teachings that went with, and for a large amount of my youth that is exactly what I defined my standing as. However, over time, exposure, situations, and much more I can honestly say that has shifted for sure, not in the fact I do not believe in what I was brought up with, but rather certainly in how I view things and why. I would say as it stands now, I stand for a more influential and open mind way of life, where I no longer view things as black and white, I understand there is not just one right way of acting and viewing certain things in life. I have always been a strong person, who faces situations that might scare me for the greater gain, that is certainly I have always been and now maintain as standing by a strand of strength and determination. ‘What are my strengths and weaknesses?’ Well, in my opinion of myself I would have to say my most prominent strengths are being brave, standing up for what’s right, honesty, and good character. Now, obviously this may waver in other’s opinions, however this is how I view myself and strengths. When it comes to weaknesses, I would have to say my quick temper, as well as my pride. I am an extremely proud person, especially in arguments, I never like being wrong which can let me down in situations that take open mindedness. This certain weakness has come from a few members of my family, as they know me better than most. I would also have to say another weakness of mine is bottling. I tend to bottle my emotions in things that upset or aggravate me. This is a weakness in my eyes as it tends to build up until it overflows, meaning I burst out over time. I have always wanted to be one of those people that can openly just talk about how they are feeling, and in a professional setting I can, however in a personal private life setting not so much. I find it quite hard to just go up to someone or a situation and express my unhappiness, equalling out to building up.



/ Orig in curat al Image ry ed by myse lf

/

The question of, ‘Where do I want to end up?’ is quite a loaded one, I found this challenging one as I always have known I want to be successful and respected, however in the last 2 years of being at university it has morphed in form. I know what are of the industry I study in I want to go down, that being digital styling & managing, however my end goal from there is a bit more blurry, I am still quite unsure apart from being successful in my area I have stated where the final outcome would be, I think throughout this year I am hoping I can discover what that may be, as for now I feel couldn’t answer 100% honestly as I myself do not even know right now. Before university I was always in this similar state of mind, where throughout my life I had no idea what I wanted to do and where I would end up. This has focused slightly since going to university but still not become completely transparent. That has always been a big fear of mine, is not being one of those people where they had this organised life plan, where they knew form a young age exactly what they wanted to do and where they wanted to go. So, for now I know where I would love to be in possibly 10 years’ time, yet no final “end goal”. This last question goes hand in hand with the next of, ‘Am I a realist?’ To this I would have to say half and half, I would say I am 50% a realist, viewing situations with a real approach if not slightly jaded. However, I also since I was small have had a heavy dreamy thought process, by this I mean I have quite an ethereal deep-thinking way of viewing things. Often nicknamed “In my own little world” when I was younger and continue to be this way inclined. I have always loved thinking about different possibilities in situations or more so what could happen rather than the realistic way of it all. When I was younger, I always preferred the way I thought about things, how that certain situation may go, what might happen and how. Creating a story in my own head if you will. This could sometimes be a negative thing in the way of it would always leave me feeling led down or underwhelmed, as the realistic situation was never as dreamy or fantasy as I had made it be in my mind, so there were always two sides to it.


. Naive


. Open Minded



The question of, ‘Who do I surround myself with?’ was one that quite struck a chord with me, as I have had a good many instances where people I thought were these great people that had my best interests at heard turned out to be otherwise. I would say in my preferred world I would say I have always tried to maintain people around me that would support me, look out for me, and always have this positive outlook on things, however I would say now I have reached this point, but it was not always like this. I remember when we used to live down south just a few hours from London I had a friend group that at first was this great uplifting group, however the more time I spent with them there always seemed to be some kind of negative drama or arguments, it definitely wore me down to the point where when we moved up here to Chester it was like a breath of fresh air, stepping away from all that angst and disruption was the right thing for me, and now as 5 years has now past I now have the view that life is too short for continuous drama and upset, I haven’t and still continue to not speak to any of the people from that toxic circle. It really showed me just how much the people you surround yourself with can affect your attitude and how you view things.




‘Am I a positive or negative person?’ Well, I think as I mentioned previously, that I certainly have a side of me where it is more so a jaded way of viewing things, however considering, thinking, and answering this question, I have discovered I mainly view people with this jaded approach, whereas I view situations and more of an opportunity side with positivity. I never used to be the type to always expect the worst from people, but I think it goes for everyone that with age and exposure to various situations that optimism in people declines slowly. However apart from this fine view breakdown of what things I choose to take this approach to I would say in a whole I would like to consider myself a positive person. I think you need to be a positive person if you want to be successful, especially in this industry. You cannot really afford to be a snowflake or take this negative approach to everything. However, that is not me saying I am always happy, but I would say in my opinion I am a positive person, and certainly bounce back, BUT we will see when I interview various of my peers and take my personality test. The question, ‘Are you fight or flight?’ goes in hand with my last response, where if you as a person really want to be successful, you cannot afford to have a quitter view on things. For me personally, in the past when faced with either bad, stressful, or uncomfortable situations, I face them anyway. That may fall under my stubborn personality type were giving up is not an option. I would say that the time this really came to play was during my mid second year of university where I was struggling a lot with our first module back, and I got to the point where it just was not clicking and I was not enjoying it anymore, the thought crossed my mind of dropping out, as many others were doing the same thing so I would be lying if I said it never crosses my mind, however I knew quitting was not the best or realistic approach to have. As I have always been brought up with “nothing is handed to you, you need to work hard for it.” This really pushed me to keep going and not shy away when things get hard or uncomfortable. So, I would say in answer that I am most definitely fight, not flight.


. Confident


In conclusion to my own personal opinions of how I view myself, I would finish with answering one more, ‘What my childhood was like and my main influencers?’ I would say I had an extremely different childhood from most, it was a completely different culture than it is over here in the U.K, where everything is a lot freer and more laid back. Where children rather than spend most free time inside gaming etc are out at the beach or hikes in the game reserves. So, I would say off the back of that, that my childhood was quite a freeing one. My family were always supportive and strict but in the right way, bringing us up to be the right kind of people. I would say out of the two of my parents my mum was the strongest hand in my younger years. My dad was most often always at work, this meant over Christmas, birthdays, etc so my mum was mostly the one my sister and I always spent the most time around. Growing up I was extremely close to my mum, telling her most things and treated like friends rather than the normal mother and daughter relationship. I often felt a lot more distant with my dad, as he was not around too much and never really felt that approachable feeling, where I could talk to him about anything and everything I had with my mum, but I think that is normal to be closer to one parent more than the other.


My relationship with my sister was more so competitive in younger years, everything was a competition, but I think this was due to the close age gap between us, where we never had that distinguished older sibling younger sibling relationship, which speaking to my parents years later they always said they wished they had a bit more of an age gap between us to prevent all the fights! In a round up before I begin my research branching out of what I think and my reflecting, I would say my childhood and influences in my early life extremely key into where I and who I am now, for the better.



PART 2...


Interviews & How They Compare Within our brief for summer, it was never told to us how we should conduct our research, except for the suggested personality test and the questions raised to us on briefing. However, I decided to do a multitude of interviews as for me I wanted this summer research to be as broad and rounded as possible, this could not be done with just my own personal answering and reflection, as it goes without saying that the way you view yourself is extremely different to how others do. So, I decided to conduct a variation of interviews with people who I share different kinds of relationships with. This is varying from my family to my boyfriend and his family, work colleagues, friends, my current boss, and peers of other standards. Firstly, I begin with one of my old work colleagues and now familiar friend. I decided to interview Todd as there had already been a strong pattern of me being a hardworking and motivated individual. To which I thought the best way to fully explore this was to talk to someone who saw me directly in that setting. I asked Todd the exact same questions I had asked myself and reflected upon, as well as everyone else I interviewed. As seen in my interview with him, it became apparent to me that those motivated and driven side to me was supported, with comments such as dedicated, driven and motivated. To this I found great satisfaction, that others around me can see me as someone that works hard and doesn’t easily give up, (in my opinion). Despite these positives spoken of, there were a few negatives which did not surprise me, such as Todd mentioning me being stubborn, not adhering easily to advice, negative etc. It was without saying not the best hearing these pointers, however in a strange way quite refreshing to ask questions, knowing, and receiving honest answers. I can only say before moving onto my next interviewee that before I began each interview, I did not give a preview on what the different questions would be, only that all answers were to be completely transparent and honest.




Next was my mother, she was as the interview before her slightly apprehensive, understandably. However, again I gave nothing away on what the questions were exactly only about complete honesty no matter what answer given. Shirley (my mum) was honest in saying how I was environmentally switched on, on the sensitive side, driven and hardworking, and messy. There will be my video alongside this report as well, to which you will be able to digitally be present at each interview. As each interview typically lasted 5/6 minutes, so there is a fair amount to account for, however one thing which stood out to me was how so many people around me can see my work orientated personality, as this has always wondered if it was as outputting as it was to just singularly me. In closing to my interview with my mother, she finished with how I do not waste my time on folly people, weather that be friends or anything else. To me, I had never thought about this, as it was never something that immediately came to my mind, as I always thought of myself as a person of light-hearted joking and humour. But on reflection I would have to agree, I do not like people that are tredders as I call it, this in other words means people that tred life, never moving forward or backwards. Always staying in the same place with little to no progression. That is not what I want for myself or surround myself with, as everyone around you influences your life.


IS THERE MORE TO O OPINION?


Dad was next, otherwise known as Trevor (my father). I would have to say this was my favourite interview, purely as my dad has always been extremely transparent in al areas of his life, from bringing us up, his character, what he believes, and his morals etc. So, in this interview I asked the exact same questions as prior, however the replies as you will see were interesting to say the least. Words such as chaos, lack of prioritising, stubborn, mature, driven, and messy were used, However, it seemed as if a lot of my weaknesses are blurred with strengths. Meaning on things which were 50/50 either good or bad depending on the volume of them. I never thought of this as to me, I see things in all black and white, where negatives were simply negatives and vice versa for positives. To me, hearing from my father that I didn’t give myself enough credit for coming far in my maturity was incredible, as I have always sought for his approval, as to me, he has always been the epidemy of hard working and successful. Victoria was next on my list, she is my sister and on the opposite ends of the scale to me, she is different in every single way to me, from personality, looks, degree, and choices. So, I was quite interested to see what she had to say about the questions asked. As seen in the clips of our interview, I noticed/felt a small facade on our time, as if she was slightly clouded and not fully transparent with me, this could have been down to being on camera however, as she has never been fully comfortable on it. However, of what she did say it was like before her, as in messy, often not prioritising, stubborn, and arrogant. With the positives of hard working, encouraging, driven and kind. I expected half of these, simply because the further on these interviews went, I found the same tones and comments coming through. Much like a broken record. Furthermore, I still found her replies helpful in my beginnings of discovering myself deeper than my surface level. Next, we have my really good friend Sam Darbyshire. I am extremely close with him, I would say he is my best male friend, so I was super interested to see what he had to say. As, apart from my immediate family he knows me better than anyone outside of that circle. Again, like all the ones before him, I asked him the same variation of questions, without him knowing any of them beforehand. His answers were interesting to me personally, as thye were roughly the same as the answers I received prior, up to a certain point. One reply which really stuck out to me was the one of my weaknesses and my strengths. Only as he mentioned me not always saying what I mean, or how I feel. Bottling in a way, which before him I had identified however no one else has pointed it out. He also mentioned how I am extremely caring for other, almost too much so. Which surprised me since I sometimes view myself as quite selfish and cold towards others, at least this is how I viewed myself personally. However, this interview proved once again that the more you think you know yourself often it’s others that prove otherwise, as I saw once again in my interview with Sam. There are still a few more interviews to come to which I am extremely interested to see the shape those will take.

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OTHER’S



Up next is Murray Hunter, I current boyfriend of just over a year. Someone who I can safely say knows me better than perhaps even my family and myself. In our interview, I got a few replies I did not expect, such as the how I often expect too much from people, in other words having standards which are too high for anyone to reach. I found the comment of being too highly strung and love for life really accurate, yet it never crossed my mind personally, which looking back on now is strange since it’s such an obvious characteristic yet never came across my mind. However, it was nice hearing from someone I value their opinion so highly what impressions I give off. Especially the shy one, as I never though of myself as shy outwardly. Nevertheless, another interview down as you will see, and more individual information released.


. Unique




. Adaptive

/ Original Imagery /



PART 3...


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The personality test & reflect With my explanation and reflection on my personality test and in turn the results, I will begin with the quote of round up, “An Architect (INTJ) is a person with the Introverted, Intuitive, Thinking, and Judging personality traits. These thoughtful tacticians love perfecting the details of life, applying creativity and rationality to everything they do. Their inner world is often a private, complex one.” As I took my personality test, I found some of the questions rather difficult to answer, as for me personally there are different ways of looking at the options with various situations, however as one of these types is being a strong analytical thinking, I must have gotten the correct as it was a case of chosen and proven within this. As I began reading and expanding on my various make ups within this personality, I found much if not all weirdly correct, all the way from how I can be lonely at the top, especially if you look back at my previous personal analysis comments, to the naturally cynical of human nature, where I automatically assume that most people are lazy, unimaginative, or simply doomed to mediocrity. Which does not scream the best impressions I get, however this has been developed over time and various situations, so in a way I would have to disagree I was not born always thinking this, it was simply a form of nature and nurture.

REFLECTION WITHIN GROWTH?


Next as I kept reading into my personality weaknesses and strengths to see how compatible they were with my personal opinions on my own, I read I am a rational, independent, informed, determined, curious, and versatile person. Now, this covers a few of the points I made of myself, however when answering this question, myself originally, the words of versatile, curious, and rational never came to me. However, after reading the break down of all these points it was strange how I never got to these traits. Now, let us break them all individually down and see the different make ups before we move into the weaknesses for personality type Architect. It states that in the trait of determination, ambition is a large percent of that make up, where working hard is much of the characteristic, and slacking is not an option. It also says how in turn it is also goal-orientated, where the end point of where you want to end up and future is extremely important and coasting through life with no direction is not compatible with my personality. As for the trait of curious, it states that Architects are often open to new ideas, so long they are evidence backed as well as a rational one. Apparently from there I am naturally sceptical as an Architect, which means that me as a characteristic am often drawn to people who are more so offbeat or have a contrarian viewpoint on things. However, the last round of my ‘Curious’ nature says I am prone to changing my opinion on things if proven wrong with evidence, but sadly if I am being completely honest I have never been this way inclined, as stated before I am an extremely proud and stubborn persona, meaning even when proven to not my best self I stand by what I have said/argued. Now, it would be easy enough to just lie and say how I am super open to change and correction, however this whole research is meant to be honest in all areas with no masks hiding your true self, and that is what I intend to and continue to do. Lastly, before moving onto my personality type weaknesses, I will quickly cover the last positive attribute of versatile. Now when originally reading this I was taken back, as for me it was not a word that typically came to me when thinking of my positive attributes, however it states that within this makeup, I love diving into new if not hard challenges, making my curiosity and determination helpful to other people who share this same personality type. Now, as we know by now, I am not the greatest fan of objectifying my weaknesses as well as thing I am not the best at. However, as this is all about honesty within yourself it is this point where I tackle my character’s weaknesses. Firstly, right at he very top is something I have stated throughout so far, is arrogance. Stating on my reference, “Architects might be knowledgeable, but they’re not infallible. Their self-assurance can blind them to useful input from other people – especially anyone they deem to be intellectually inferior. These personalities can also become needlessly harsh or single-minded in trying to prove others wrong.” This statement for me was not the most pleasant to write, I have always struggled with my pride and arrogance in many different kinds of relationships, I have always felt it goes deeper than simply not taking well to critism, for me on reflection I find admitting to failure of nay kind very difficult, weather that be simply the grades I got, arguments etc. I find admitting to failure like a wall, a brick wall I cannot seem to break through. To put it in other simpler words It has a personal strong grip on me, and if you were to ask me why, at this current time I would not be able to honestly answer as I am not too sure. Next, we have the trait of dismissive of others’ emotions, “For Architects, rationality is king. But emotional context often matters more than people with this personality type care to admit. Architects can get impatient with anyone who seems to value feelings more than facts. Unfortunately, ignoring emotion is its own type of bias – one that can cloud Architects’ judgment.” This was something again I mentioned before, where in a way I believe it to be possibly a self-centred trait. Thinking my problems, how I feel or whatever I want is somehow above others. It goes without saying that this is 100% not the correct way of looking at people and life, however I believe everyone has this trait in various different percentages, it’s simply human nature to think highly of yourself. And to me, I think this characteristic has different formats, meaning it could be pride, vanity etc. It just so happens mine is in the missive area, something I have been told and seen for myself, so I am not one of these unaware of their short coming people.


. Self Taught

/ Original Imagery /


/ Original Imagery /

. Spontanious


Overly critical is next on the list, my reference states this personality tends to have a great deal of self-control, particularly when it comes to thoughts and feelings. Additionally, when people in these people’s lives fail to match their level of restraint, Architects can become scathingly critical. But this criticism is often unfair, based on arbitrary standards rather than a full understanding of human nature. Now, at first look I would never have said this, however after a few days’ reflection over past experiences, situation and people unfortunately I would have to agree. As someone who is very much hard on herself, that can move onto other people and the standards I hold for them, meaning more so often than not I am disappointed in people. However, I think hurt has a lot to do with this for me personally. I find when I get hurt, I take that out on the people and make these unreachable levels of expectation, setting up for failure in a sense. The reason behind this is unknown for now, which I am hoping all these unanswered questions throughout this ‘Brand Me’ module will be answered.


Combatful is up next, the explanation on these states, “Architects hate blindly following anything without understanding why. This includes restrictions and the authority figures who impose them. People with this personality type can get caught up in arguing about useless rules and regulations – but sometimes these battles are distractions from more important matters.” Right so on this topic I would once again agree, I find planning, direction, and rules very important to me, it keeps the chaos calm in my mind. I think I am naturally a very fiery person, and in turn I get passionate about anything and everything I believe in. This can often turn into a battle til death situation, once again this could be roped into the stubborn and arrogant nature of myself. Lastly is the ‘Romantically Clueless’ weaknesses. “Architects’ relentless rationality can lead them to be frustrated by romance. Especially in the early stages of a relationship, they may struggle to understand what is going on and how to behave. And if their relationships fall apart for reasons, they do not understand, they can become cynical about matters of the heart, even questioning the importance of love and connection,” with this comment I would have to both agree and disagree, I find most frustration in relationships are caused by me, with again this level of expectation that is never met, meaning I have a lot of anger and let down in word feelings in the mid part in a relationship. I have never been one of those girls that get their value in relationships, however I do feel there are times when that certain romantic link does not work time and time again that you do begin to question. For me, it does begin to weigh me down in the respect of ever finding that person that fulfils my expectations without it being on request, I think social media with no surprise has a part to play in this. Viewing relationships in this idealistic unrealistic way, where whoever you are linked to, will always cause disappointment and sadness.



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THE FINAL CLOSING. In conclusion to my personality test results, I would like to finish on the quote of, “Armed with powerful intellects and strategic minds, Architects (INTJs) can outmaneuver obstacles that seem unbeatable to most. But their strengths, when misunderstood, can turn into weaknesses – and keep them from reaching their full potential.” Where, as I learn more about myself than I have ever thought of before, I hope to find some resolution for those unpleasant areas of my personality, that I have ever considered before.



PART 4...




IMAGES REFLECT //

IMAGES REFLECT 13 chosen images and reflection My chosen thirteen images were hard to choose, I found it far harder than I thought I would be narrowing myself and in turn personality into simply a small number of pictures. Throughout this chapter I will be both elaborating my choices as well as the method I took to get there. Firstly, I would say to say these thirteen images explain my being would be a lie, I think you would need to know me on a personal level to be able to relate as I do, however, these images make an aspect of myself, to which I will do my best to explain. Firstly, I will talk through my method behind narrowing down images. I found making a list of what I found my biggest make ups compared to going to to others and asking them what my biggest compounds of my personality were, and in so narrowing in those words into image form. I found this to be very helpful as much like my previous reflection, outside viewpoints can be enlightening than if you were to observe purely on your own. To name a few, I got words like, “positive, idealistic, happiness, fuzzy, cosy, directual, vintage, worldly, free spirited, thoughtful, etc”. These words were interesting, in the aspect of some words without outward input would never have come to me, such as predominately directual, worldly and free spirited. From these words I had compiled from both myself and others, I began researching into the different demonstrations of them. I made an image bank to which I found the relevant to my narrowed thirteen words. I would say for me, is taking images unedited within my own personal way of working was not my favourite, as I identify extremely strongly in my own way of working, or aesthetic if you will, however frivolous or shallow sounds the way my work looks means a lot to me on flow etc. Now, working into the actual image area, beginning with image 1. This image in my opinion reflects an image of my sadness side if it was put into picture form. It signifies how when in a sad/negative space I find most peace in being alone and isolated. I have always found the clouds reflection in water both saddening and encouraging for me personally. It gives me the physical and mental space for thought and processing whatever has and continues to be going on.


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Next, we have image 2, this one in contrast to the one before is an image to signify my free spirited, bubbly area of personality. For me, I have always found many feelings from my surrounding, reflecting my surrounding with my mood, and as someone who lives in her head a lot of the time, I certainly idealize the world around me in a naïve and pleasant way, much like this child like writing and phrase on a bag very similar to mine. Image 3 is was quite a powerful one, if not the most. Which sounds funny for the reading when looking at a battered sofa. For me this was the best image to show my uncertainty within myself. To put this into context, I often see myself and talents in a more muted way than others, self-doubt if you will. So, for me, I may metaphorically see myself as a less than perfect sofa, when in fact my peers of all relations often see much more, more than first time round can meet the eye. Up next is image 4. This image symbolizes closeness, something I have always been brought up with in my family. This was extremely present in my early life, where every summer with my family we would go camping for 2 weeks, no technology or distractions taking away from quality family time. Looking back now, those moments were certainly taken for granted by both my sister and me. Image 5 is one of shyness, my personal shyness. As someone who is quite bottling of true feeling and emotions, I found this image resonated with just that, an isolation of the outside in a way, and what people think, how I feel, and in turn expressing that.

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Next is image 6, this one was based on the area of my personality of architecture. As someone that sees the world realistically in a deconstructed way, I found this channelled that. Where I see people and things in a break down of what they truly are. Many peoples feedback was how empathetic I am as a person, caring for others. This ties in with that, however in a deconstructive format. Image 7 was purely based on Andy Warhol, and how I work similarly. I see life and in turn my work in an illustrated form, breaking the way I work in individual components, and in turn dissecting their build up. The way Andy views the world is again, very similar to me, realistic artsy. We have image 8 next, here is what looks to be just an image of flowers, however to me this symbolises my personality of growth. As I am always working on to improve, I find constant change and adapting noticeable in myself. Flowers are like this aspect, always growing and never at a standstill. Image 9, energy. As I mentioned before, I am someone that feeds and reflects the energy/mood of others in the room. I think this is down to me always people pleasing, making sure others are happy first as this inevitably what determines what I will be feeling. On reflection, this can be both a positive and negative, meaning it can be good I put others happiness first, but also can have negative affects when others always come first in all scenarios. Next is image 10, the image of friends. This image was chosen on the basis of my connection to the people around me. I have always surrounded myself with peers that are like minded and hard working. The friends I have gained over the years are ones that are more so family than friends, as I was always told from young quality over quantity, this is reflective in my chosen friends. As whom you surround yourself with determine how you act and lead your actions.


1.

4.

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10.

11.

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13. 6. 5. 12.

2. 3.

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. Over Thinker

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C L


CHARLES JEFFEREY: LOVERBOY Image 11 is the next on our list. This image looks simple to the eye. However, I chose this at it represents my life in South Africa before coming over to the U.K. It was a very carefree idyllic childhood, full of wondering with no shoes, mud pies, climbing trees, and cycling everywhere. Looking back, I definitely took those years for granted whilst being fixed on growing up and being a “big girl”. Image 12 is a representation of my years of home education. Where learning at a pace that fit where I was situated made me where I am now. I think again one of my regrets is not enjoying and working on during those days, however quite the opposite. I always felt frustrated with the stories I heard from my friends of their school antics since majority of my friends went to normal school, however reflecting it was the best choice for those set aside years despite the anger at points. Lastly and finally, we have image 13, one which is possibly on the side of the most relevant. I chose this image as it symbolises the way mine and my sister’s father brought us up, ranging from attitude, work ethic, music taste, and likes in general it was always out of the time we lived. Meaning he brought us up in respect of how he was in the 60’s with those views, making the outlook we had purer and cleaner, untouched if you will. This is something I really value now as why rush the interference the world at some stage will bring at those early years.


INFLUENCERS BOTH DEAD & ALIVE For this chapter I will be looking at two specific role models, one being still very much present the other in the past but still present and current in mind and heart. In addition to this I will be looking at different brands which I identify myself in, why I class myself as one of their members in mind etc, as I truly stand by the claim of you are where you shop, however cliché that may sound. Firstly, I will be looking at my influencer of the past, as it has been proven time and time again the past directs the future. Saying that, I will be focussing on Andy Warhol. Before I move onto my explanation of why I have chosen Warhol, I will speak a bit about him and his history I came across during my research weeks prior. I begin with Andy Warhol, otherwise known as the king of illustration. He ; August 6, 1928 – February 22, 1987) was an American artist, film director, and producer who was a leading figure in the visual art movement known as pop art. His works explore the relationship between artistic expression, advertising, and celebrity culture that flourished by the 1960s, and span a variety of media, including painting, silkscreening, photography, film, and sculpture. Some of his best known works include the silkscreen paintings Campbell’s Soup Cans (1962) and Marilyn Diptych (1962), the experimental films Empire (1964) and Chelsea Girls (1966), and the multimedia events known as the Exploding Plastic Inevitable (1966–67). Born and raised in Pittsburgh, Warhol initially pursued a successful career as a commercial illustrator. After exhibiting his work in several galleries in the late 1950s, he began to receive recognition as an influential and controversial artist. His New York studio, The Factory, became a well-known gathering place that brought together distinguished intellectuals, drag queens, playwrights, Bohemian street people, Hollywood celebrities, and wealthy patrons.[2][3][4] He promoted a collection of personalities known as Warhol superstars, and is credited with inspiring the widely used expression “15 minutes of fame”. In the late 1960s he managed and produced the experimental rock band The Velvet Underground and founded Interview magazine. He authored numerous books, including The Philosophy of Andy Warhol and Popism: The Warhol Sixties. He lived openly as a gay man before the gay liberation movement. In June 1968, he was almost killed by radical feminist Valerie Solanas who shot him inside his studio.[5] After gallbladder surgery, Warhol died of cardiac arrhythmia in February 1987 at the age of 58. Warhol has been the subject of numerous retrospective exhibitions, books, and feature and documentary films. The Andy Warhol Museum in his native city of Pittsburgh, which holds an extensive permanent collection of art and archives, is the largest museum in the United States dedicated to a single artist. Many of his creations are very collectible and highly valuable. The highest price ever paid for a Warhol painting is US$105 million for a 1963 canvas titled Silver Car Crash (Double Disaster); his works include some of the most expensive paintings ever sold.[6] A 2009 article in The Economist described Warhol as the “bellwether of the art market”.[7] (“Andy Warhol - Wikipedia”, 2021



Now after a brief overall explanation of who Andy Warhol was, I find it quite relevant to expand on why I found him a suitable choice for me and why I found it one of my narrowed role models. Apart from his obvious talent and renown knowledge, I chose Warhol because as mentioned before I see the world and especially my work in a broken-down illustrated way, where a lot of my inspiration and ways of working come from how Andy interpreted the world and the way he expressed that. Much like him, I in a much more commercial way, targeting my work to fill this pathway, however in a form of whimsical and interpretational. He was well known in America, however that was not where he was natively from, he came to a new country and worked hard to both adapt and establish the best version of himself possible. I find great inspiration and encouragement from this, as similar to me this was m y situation but just not to the same extent, yet anyways.

Despite working in a rather commercial way, Warhol much like myself saw things in a conceptually commercial way, taking an object or topic and turning it into something quite different and multi-dimensional. I have through trial and error found this is very, much how I turn out my best work, it allows me to not feel stuck in a box of one way work I can/must produce. And the fact that I can make people double look and really try figure out was going on in my illustrations makes me very happy. On reflection, if I were to sit opposite Andy Warhol and ask him any question, it would be his most prevalent piece of instruction to industry success. As so many people these days are simply after money, fame, and ego fluctuations. I would want to the true area of advice he would share simply on success in a self-gratification way which inevitably opens doors.


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Next is our role model still present with us, I found this question much harder to answer than the one before, as to me most of my role models are no longer with us, no for any other reason but they were what I grew up with or had much upbringing based off. However, to answer this question I would have to say is Anna Wintour, best know as Editor-in-Chief of Vogue since 1988. Firstly, a bit about Anna, although may already know half of I find it still necessary. “ Dame Anna Wintour DBE (/ˈwɪntər/; born 3 November 1949[1]) is a British-American[2][3] journalist, who has served as Editor-in-Chief of Vogue since 1988 and Global Chief Content Officer for Condé Nast since 2020; she is also the Artistic Director of Condé Nast and the Global Editorial Director of Vogue.[4] With her trademark pageboy bob haircut and dark sunglasses, Wintour has become an important figure in much of the fashion world, praised for her eye for emerging fashion trends. Wintour is often regarded as the most powerful woman in media and fashion. Her reportedly aloof and demanding personality has earned her the nickname “Nuclear Wintour”. Her father, Charles Wintour, Editor of the London Evening Standard (1959– 1976), consulted her on how to make the newspaper relevant to the youth of the era. She became interested in fashion as a teenager. Her career in fashion journalism began at two British magazines. Later, she moved to the US, with stints at New York and House & Garden. She returned to London and was the editor of British Vogue between 1985 and 1987. A year later, she assumed control of the franchise’s magazine in New York, reviving what many saw as a stagnating publication. Her use of the magazine to shape the fashion industry has been the subject of debate within it. Animal rights activists have attacked her for promoting fur, while other critics have charged her with using the magazine to promote elitist views of femininity and beauty. “I think my father really decided for me that I should work in fashion”, she recalled in The September Issue.[18] He arranged for his daughter’s first job, at the influential Biba boutique, when she was 15.[20] The next year, she left North London Collegiate and began a training program at Harrods. At her parents’ behest, she also took fashion classes at a nearby school. Soon she gave them up, saying, “You either know fashion or you don’t.”[21] Another older boyfriend, Richard Neville, gave her her first experience of magazine production at his popular and controversial Oz.[22] In 1970, when Harper’s Bazaar UK merged with Queen to become Harper’s & Queen, Wintour was hired as one of its first editorial assistants, beginning her career in fashion journalism.[23] She told her co-workers that she wanted to edit Vogue.[24] While there, she discovered model Annabel Hodin, a former North London classmate. Her connections helped her secure locations for innovative shoots by Helmut Newton, Jim Lee[25] and other trend-setting photographers.[26] One recreated the works of Renoir and Manet using models in go-go boots.[27] After chronic disagreements with her rival, Min Hogg,[28] she quit and moved to New York with her boyfriend, freelance journalist Jon Bradshaw. (“Anna Wintour - Wikipedia”, 2021).

Coming TO THE END: PT.1


Now, for myself this woman to me is the full round up of how working hard in small roles builds up too many connections and larger roles. It would be naïve to simply say, “this is the lady that Devil Wears Prada was about”, however it goes much deeper for me, where as a person I know where I want to end up and the level of success I want, however I have always during studies had a small part time job on the side, a job that just pays the bills. Which for many this is normal; however, it is through these various small jobs and having Anna in my mind of ultimate success that really push me every day in my studies and small part time job. As stated, old connections can be your one opportunity for the foot in the door situation.


Much like Anna’s upbringing of her father pushing her constantly, this is relevant to myself, as my parents have always said nothing is owed to you, if you want it work hard and get it yourself. This has certainly shaped me into my hard-working motivated self. Anna Wintour is known for being this aloof, emotionally unavailable person, who only lets a small percentage of people in her personal life see the true, ‘Anna Wintour’, in my research it was not stated why this development progressed over the years, however it has been said she rather enjoys having a unapproachable persona. For me, I have mentioned before where me as a person am quite closed off emotionally down to the fact, I find my stubbornness stops this. However, many issues it causes outwardly, but the truth is after reading about Anna’s enjoyment of this side to herself, I could say deep down I may be the same. In the respect of that unavailable view, of slight fear in presence. It defiantly makes you think.


. Princess Jess / Original Imagery /


. Self Dreamer / Original Imagery /


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PERSONAL SWOT ANALYS PERSONAL STRENGHTS

- Determined tot he point of possibly too stubborn, however can be a positive attribute to success. This main character scent comes most to play in job roles/university work.

- Empathetic trademark is one of the make ups of me that is on the sensitive side. It creates an automatic feeling for others of comfort and trust. This is one of my favourites as i love making others feel good.

- I have a strong sense of encouragement, filling others with sometimes the confidence and hope i need. In a way putting others ahead at my own expence in some instances. This can be both positive and negative.

WEAK

- Arrogance can b

- I can be emotionally frustration

- An


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SIS

POSSIBLE THREATS change

- Loss of friends/work/family/peers if weaknesses dont

- Feelings of isolation and saddness comes from pushing others away

- Bitter person which reflects in life and attititude

KNESSES

be a large factor in my life, which trickles down into stubborness

y immature in tough situation, definately lead by emotion and feelings of

nti-confrontational, in a way burying my head in the sand



Conclusion...


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‘ As we come to the closing of this part 1: It is apparent how we never stop growing ’


Conclusion In conclusion, I have found this first part of self-reflection extremely eye opening to who I really am below the layers. I would be lying if I said I feel I have done justice to the areas of my personality, however when I break it down to part one or the ‘Introduction part’ of myself, I feel more confident in how much I have covered. Within these weeks of initial research into myself, I have began carving the pathways for where I will continue down come part two of our summer briefing as well as September where the real decisions will begin to rise. However, in conclusion that is part one of my summer research into myself complete.


.Too Open








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