Non-Spoiler Film Reviews - By Henry Godfrey-Evans

John Wick: Chapter 4

Quite an easy one to advise on. It’s just pure, uncontaminated action, but not just sharp and polished, but unique and clever too. Very easy to recommend - the best John Wick film so far.

How can the fourth instalment possibly be the best? Well instead of only having a single story to tell and then churning out three moneymakers, they just built and built the stakes until this point.

The only thing I would say is that it doesn’t satisfy many other things other than the action, and if you aren’t the biggest fan of the genre you’ll find your attention wandering.

84/100

80 for Brady

Four elderly women are chasing Superbowl tickets, having accidentally become huge fans of the NFL and Tom Brady.

Honestly just filled with bottom-of-the-barrel comedy that would barely keep its target audience awake. Some of the acting (Sally Field) gave me some hope, but mostly I was just grimacing at the attempt to sell cheap humour and wholesomeness for £10 a head.

The only solace was that the American football game was quite tense, interesting and nicely shot. Made me slightly interested in researching Tom Brady’s road to fame.

27/100

Women Talking

I can see why this was popular, especially in the premise. It was essentially a group of oppressed and abused women in a different (unclear) time having a long discussion about leaving their homes for the greater good.

The dialogue was a mixed bag. In parts, it was fantastic philosophy that never seemed to get snagged on the restriction of a single writer making opposing arguments. However, some of the dialogue was circular and less profound, and the reaction to this film hasn’t really matched my assessment.

To seesaw back to the positives, the performances were often phenomenal, but then it leant so heavily on them. I found even a modest 1-hour 40-minute runtime dragged. I also agreed with the decision not to show the abuse on screen, although the flashbacks helped a lot.

63/100

Air

About the endeavour to get Michael Jordan to sign with Nike - it might sound boring, but it’s not.

It has dialogue that’s purposeful, dynamic and researched, and it’s funny on many occasions too. It really doesn’t draw much of its entertainment value from the sport, but instead on business, risktaking and office politics.

This is the one you watch the rebuild the trust between consumer and cinema.

88/100

Dungeons and Dragons: Honor Among Thieves

Sorry for the American spelling but I ought to be accurate. The word that summarised my thoughts on this film in the subsequent days was ‘refreshing’. Not because it was a 3-hour long Bulgarian black and white spectacle with no clear genre, but because it’s the sort of weekend fun sort of film that could push Marvel a little bit.

It did have similar pitfalls in that the ‘emotional turnaround’ was forcefully wedged and most of the plot was fairly standard, but there was room in my judgement to enjoy the cheesy fantasy of it.

It also satirised the video game dialogue of boring heroes really nicely with one particular character. If you love Guardians of the Galaxy you’ll like this.

78/100

The Super Mario Bros. Movie

What do almost all Pixar, Dreamworks and Disney animated films have in common? Yes, you. That’s right, they’re made for both adults and children. In fact their studio bins are probably lined with rejected scripts that simply don’t achieve it.

You’ve probably guessed what I’m going to say...

While the animation is occasionally spectacular, it relies far too heavily on ‘Easter eggs’ and a loyal fanbase. Anyone without a blind loyalty to their childhood was likely bored for most of this film.

It was no better written than an episode of Bob the Builder. I’ll boost the score a bit for the visuals.

40/100

The Pope’s Exorcist

I do kind of understand why horror gets a bad rap, even if I do love it myself. The sequence of...

1. Dramatic opening...

2. The half-baked character building...

3. Woah was that a monster..?

4. Yep, definitely was...

5. Let’s kill it and then hug as a family...

6.

…can all become a bit tiresome.

But, Russell Crowe being an actual protagonist was quite good. He still acts extremely well and they wrote a fairly good character around him. Most of the rest was a bit more of the same though.

47/100

How to Blow up a Pipeline

The movie’s strong climate change message seems to have invited some review tanking, but luckily the film was great, really great.

Ignoring the politics entirely, the way the film opened with no exposition at all and merely a montage of tasks being done, was intriguing. The story was patient and well-paced, with a lot of plot points still being obscure until the final stretch.

Films that end with the same intrigue as the beginning will always be interesting. Too many films close with a final act where you’re just waiting for everything to turn out alright for the good guys.

84/100

Renfield

An awkward comedy about Dracula’s assistant navigating modern methods of standing up to his oppressor. Definitely my kind of premise, but it’s a shame the trailer made it look tacky.

Had an absolute blast with the first half or so, as it seemed to know itself very well in terms of comedy and slapstick actions without the need to dilute itself with silly plotlines. I said the first half, didn’t I?

Suzume

This will be confusing to read, because it was confusing to write. Mainly because the plot was confusing and a lot of it was really dull and disjointed. Although it did max out in areas like animation, sound design and emotion. I’m so confused. You should be too.

The problem as usual is that it did fall into the trap of trying to brew up an actual plot after telling a joke every 5 seconds. It just doesn’t work. I can’t help but think this is more prevalent as a reviewer though; as a day out I’d say good choice.

If you hate anime, and you know you do (yes, you actually have to try it first) then you will HATE this. Anime lovers however will be adding this to their all-timers, because it is a strong cocktail of everything authentic and iconic about the genre.

Plot is big for me, and there wasn’t the best one here, so it docked way more points for me than most, considering I love anime.

69/100 henrygodfreyevans@gmail.com

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Hi everyone. I hope you are are well and enjoying the spring weather, despite being a bit chilly.

We are away in Kent at the moment and it’s sunny. I was going to sit outside to write this, but I cannot see the screen because of the bright sunshine. Not complaining though. We’ve been to Sandwich today, which is one of the Cinque Ports, the others being Dover, Hythe, New Romney and Hastings - surprisingly there are five! Two others were added later, Winchelsea and Rye. Are they still called Cinque (French for 5) Ports, I wonder?

The ports historically provided ships and men for the king’s navy. Anyway, Sandwich is a nice little town, but today it was home to one of my pet hates. We wanted to get lunch - just a sandwich (see what I did there?). A nice pub just off the high street had a menu outside, the contents of which showed a range of sandwiches, so in we went. The friendly bar staff greeted us and asked what we wanted. ‘Just a drink and a sandwich’ I replied. ‘We don’t do food on Wednesdays and Thursdays’, he replied. I get so annoyed - not too unusual these days - when this sort of thing happens! Why don’t they have a note outside on the menu explaining the absence of food on those days? It’s not rocket science, is it? I guess they think people will just say, ‘well, I’ll just to go hungry then and have a drink then’. No chance!

Just a silly thing. I was walking through Central Park the other day and saw someone with a dog, not unusual I know. The dog was running round in circles then up and down in a line, and owner had his head bowed concentrating on something in his hand. For a few seconds, I thought that he had the dog on remote control, until I realised he was texting. It did make me laugh.

Modern technology. I see that the government has given Ford permission to sell self-driving cars for use on public roads. Now, I am all for improvements to safety on the roads, but I am a bit doubtful about the impact of these vehicles in the short term. If I was driving at 60mph on a motorway and a car went past on the outside lane, and the driver was reading a newspaper, I am sure I would do a double take and possibly swerve. Maybe safer for the driver of the robot car, but I am not sure about the rest of us!

I am writing this a few days before the National Alert Test is scheduled to occur. The first thing that concerns me is that I presume a smart phone is required (or at the very least a mobile phone) to receive this alert. So, does that mean that if people don’t have one they don’t get the alert? It reminds me of the observation that if you can remain calm, when all those about you are panicking... you must not have a grasp of the real situation. I think that the government should add something like this: ‘If all the mobile phone owners are running around panicking, join in’!

Anyway, despite all the warnings about this event on Sunday, I will have forgotten by then. Consequently, when it happens I will be rushing about, to check the fire alarm, the car alarms, fridge door open alarm and the microwave, before finally looking at my phoneby which time it will be too late!

I see that one of the large supermarkets is at it again with their TV advertising. The latest one opens with someone apparently trapped down a well. No, I don’t how they got there either. At the top of the well appears a shopping trolley, looking down the well. It turns round and runs to get help explaining, in basket language, I presume, that it needs some rope. It then rushes back to the well, shouts something to the victim, lowers the rope and pulls them out. ‘Well I never did’. Now, I am a marketeer, but I guess they will say that because I can remember this in detail and the name of the supermarket, the advert has done it’s job. I also guess that it was a play on the old TV programme Skippy the Bush Kangaroo so those of us old enough to remember that, could find it funny. But youngsters?

Bin End Chuckles

My star sign is Pyrex, I was a test tube baby...

Alright lads, a giant fly is attacking the station. I’ve called out the SWAT team....

Stay well and enjoy the coronation cerebrations.