Shape | Hyunyoung Cho | Visual Art

Shape, Hyunyoung Cho, film photograph

The crowd thins as the game is about to begin. Danny throws a baseball at you; it flies right over your head and into the wall behind you. Laugh as he walks past you and winks. Wait for someone to tell you it’s your turn for a break. Think about what you’ll get from Dunkin’ with your gift card. Allow people out of the ballpark, cigarettes in hand. Wonder when you will get a break. Avoid eye contact when men approach you, so drunk that they can barely pull up their tickets. Ignore the knot in your stomach. Remember the time Henry said he would’ve punched the guy who he thought was groping you. He wasn’t. Worry that they forgot about your break. They didn’t.

Step Five: Sit in the break room and eat the bagel you packed earlier today. Check your phone. You have five minutes before you must walk back. Ignore the knot in your stomach. Try to stop being so dramatic.

Step Six: Return to the gate at Gallagher; lean against the green metal fence when your supervisor is not looking. Check the Jumbotron to see if it’s the ninth inning. Imagine yourself out of this uniform that really does not fit, at home, on the couch, eating dinner. Scan latecomers’ tickets. Think about the paper you have to write for Monday. Help a coworker wipe spilled beer off her bag. Rejoice at the top of the ninth because the Cubs are winning. Forget that you don’t care about baseball; pray that the other team does not score. Cheer when they don’t. Leave early.

Text Henry that you are leaving and ask if he is ready. He says to take the train home without him. Really wish Clare was here. Change out of your uniform. Stop by the break room to collect your five-dollar Dunkin’ gift card. Tell the two business-casuals your name; they say you only worked two of the three days during the heatwave, so you don’t qualify. Try not to laugh. Say thank you and leave without any other comments.

Step Seven: Walk as fast as you can to the Addison stop. You’re never fast enough—it’s already filled with people who take the train so rarely they don’t know how to get a oneway pass from the machines. Push your way through the crowd; make sure you have your Ventra card ready. Get on the L with the Cubs fans. It’s not as bad now that you have changed out of the uniform. Get pushed into the very back of the train car because you forgot to assert your dominance. Lean against the metal box in the empty conductor’s compartment and pray that no one comes in. Three men do. Switch trains when one of them throws up. Pass by a Dunkin’ when you switch to the Blue line. Ouch. Walk home before the sun sets and try not to think about going back to work tomorrow.