“How to Work at Wrigley Field” | Jane Fenske-Newbart | Nonfiction

How to Work at Wrigley Field

Jane Fenske-Newbart

Step One: Miss the Red Line after nearly crashing into someone while running through the tunnel connecting the Blue and the Red lines. Stand awkwardly and constantly check the little electronic sign that says the next train to Howard comes in nine minutes. Wait. Still nine minutes. Become increasingly embarrassed by your uniform as more Cubs fans file onto the platform. Wonder how Clare convinced you to do this job. Five minutes. Wish Clare was here with you instead of at her other job. Move closer to the edge of the platform. Lean forward and spot the L, then stand back as it rushes past you before coming to a stop. Assert your dominance over the crowd and push your way into a blue plastic seat. Stand up when a pregnant woman asks you for your seat. Think about how you will be standing for the next six hours.

Step Two: Arrive at the employee entrance with ten minutes to spare—remember you are never as late as you expect to be. Don’t forget to check in. Forget to check your assignment. Re-scan your ID: Gallagher Way. Don’t forget to go to the bathroom. Don’t forget to take a picture of your locker number. Walk as quickly as you can to Section Eleven; try to ignore the artificial smell of hot pretzels. Walk into the stands. Don’t make eye contact with the managers dressed in business-casual clothes. Scan the seats in front of you. Ignore the knot in your stomach. Notice Henry, your only friend here other than Clare, at the end of a row. Walk up the concrete stairs and punch him in the shoulder, your standard greeting. Sit down and tell him you’re working Gallagher. He’s at the Bleachers. Damn. Normally you’re together. He says he’ll try to visit you; you know he won’t because the walk from the Bleachers to Gallagher is longer than the allotted break time. Know you’ll catch up with him on the L ride home.

Turn away when you hear the whine of a microphone held by one of the business-casuals. She says that they will be giving out Dunkin’ Donuts gift cards to anyone who worked during the heatwave. Realize you worked during the heatwave; Henry did not. Tell him the story about how you almost passed out, how everything was fuzzy, how your knees would not stay straight. Henry says next time you pass out, tell the nurse to get him so you can both leave early.

Step Three: Walk to Gallagher and look for someone you know. No luck. Join the huddle of other Guest Service Associates. Ignore the knot in your stomach. Feel relieved when Danny, your supervisor, walks in;

he’s relatively easy-going and likes to tell you stories about the characters he meets in bars. Grudgingly take a hand scanner and stand at the gate. Fans begin to line up outside the metal detectors. The line grows until it is a jumble of people fighting to get to the front. Check the time: the game does not start for another hour and a half. You’ll never understand them; you’re not a baseball person.

Step Four: Smile and greet each guest as they hold out their phone. No matter how many thousands of tickets you scan each day, you never get the scanner to work just right. It’s the usual crowd: families with two young kids and a father who insists he knows how to use his phone, groups of young women who all wear the same tube tops and jerseys, older couples who hate that they don’t have paper tickets, fans of the opposite team (don’t forget to offer them a Cubs sticker), and people who bring a ridiculous number of prohibited items. Count how many pairs of Gucci sneakers you see. As you scan their tickets, say things like: Hi guys, No problem, Everyone has trouble with the phones, Can you turn your brightness up, I love your hat, Kids can’t run the bases today—only on Sundays, It says here these tickets are for next Saturday, The bathrooms are to your right, I prefer the paper tickets too, Try the scanner next to me, I’m seventeen, No outside alcoholic beverages can be brought into the ballpark, I know you bought it from us, I don’t make the rules, You can leave your gun at the fire station on Waveland, Enjoy the game.