2015ŠMarlon Reid Productions
When We See Each Other Again In the fall of 1987, my life was shifting. I was living in a home where every other hour my grandmother was shouting and screaming at David, my aunt’s husband. Her famous line was always, “You ain’t no good!” To keep a peace of mind, I would go in my room and close the door or go outside and play when he came over to our house. Sometimes they would be so loud that our neighbors come over and ask if everything was okay. I had no clue as to what they were arguing about and I did not know why my grandmother thought my uncle was not any good. All I knew was that he did right by me. We did things together and he taught me a lot, so I did not know what she meant. One day when my grandmother and grandfather were in the midst of cooking dinner, the phone rang and as the person on the other line spoke, my grandmother dropped to her knees. She was holding back tears as she told the person that she was on the way. Immediately, she went to my grandfather and cried in his arms. She asked us to pray with her as she kneeled down in tears. I did not know what I was praying for, but I did as I was told. Rushing through traffic like a mad man, my grandfather was ducking and dodging cars. Once we arrived at the hospital, my grandfather let my grandmother and me out at the main entrance to the hospital and he went to park the car. My grandmother quickly grabbed my hand and told me to keep up. She stopped at the receptionist desk and asked for a room number and we proceeded to go to the elevators. I was too young to understand what was wrong, but I knew it was serious. Walking off the elevators, all I could here were blaring sounds from machines and conversations between nurses as they chit chatted at their station. We were about to enter into one of the hospital rooms when a nurse asked my age. My grandmother told her that I was eleven and the nurse told her that you have to be fourteen to visit and she told her where the waiting room was. My grandmother yelled at the nurse letting her know that I was the patient’s son. At that very moment, my heart sank to my toes. My mother was the person that we were there to see. I wanted to cry because I had never known my mom to be in a hospital. There were so many things running through my mind as my grandmother walked me to the waiting room. Was my mom going to be okay? What was wrong with her? When will she get to come home? Will I get to see her? Those were only a few of the questions that I had, but no one would answer me. Every one huddled in a corner and talked. I was so confused. One day while I was at school, I was called to the office for an early dismissal. I knew that I did not have any doctor’s appointments, so I was confused as to why I was leaving. When I got to the office, I saw my grandparents talking to the principal. I do not know what they were talking about, but everyone looked at me and put fake smiles on their faces as my grandmother came over to hug me. She grabbed my book bag and we walked to the car. Again, I started asking questions and no one would answer me. This car ride was different; there was not a sound from the radio or from my grandparents. It was eerily quiet. I could hear other cars passing by, but I would not look out of the window to see them. 2015©Marlon Reid Productions
I just looked up at the sky and I could see the clouds. The sky was a pretty blue, from what I could see through the fall foliage. As the car started to slow down, I could feel the speed bumps as we crossed them I knew then that we were back at the hospital. I could feel the butterflies building inside of stomach. I was nervous and I did not know why. This hospital visit was going to be different; I could feel it. I don’t know what it was, but I could just feel that there was something about this visit that I would never forget. I remember my grandmother reaching her hand up to push the button to the elevator and my grandfather inhaling a huge breath. I looked back and forth at their faces for a sign of what was to come, but they were both pale and blank. When the elevator arrived on my mother’s floor, I was expecting to go to the waiting room, but my grandmother told me that I was going to see my mother. A huge smile came over my face at the excitement of seeing her, but it would not last long. Entering into my mother’s hospital room, I could see her feet covered in the bed. I could hear the sound of the machines as they beeped while it was taking her blood pressure and checking her heartbeat. I peeked around the curtain and there she was, lying in her bed. She did not look like the strong woman that I had always known; she was very frail. All I could do was run to her side and lay down next to her on the bed. I hugged her and started to cry. I knew that this was bad and I could not do anything to help her. She was so happy to see me because I could see it in her eye. She could not talk because she had tubes and machines hooked up to almost every part of her body. She looked really tired and weak. My grandmother told me that it was time for me to go because the hospital only let me in to see her for a few minutes. I hugged her as tight as I thought she could stand and told her that I loved her. I kissed her on the check and hesitantly took my grandmother’s hand as she led me out of the room. Later that day, not long after my visit, one of God’s angels descended down and took my mother to rest. On October 5, 1987 at the age of 28, my mother died of AIDS. This hit me like a ton of bricks. I would no longer get to see or talk to her. Even though she was not raising me, I still loved her. The only thing that I ever regretted was never telling her how much she was loved and how much she meant to me. Although she was hardly around, she meant the world to me, now, I would never have a chance to tell her or show her. My world stopped for an entire week. I could not function. It was as if the world was moving, but I was not. Everyone was preparing for the memorial, but I was not ready to say goodbye. I did not want to go in the hopes that this was not real and my mother would come to visit me again, but I had no choice. My grandparents insisted that I attend the memorial. I don’t know why I had to go when my little brother didn’t. He was living somewhere else at the time, so I was her only child there to face seeing my mother before her cremation. The memorial was lovely; everyone from miles around came to see my mother. There were family members that I had not seen in years there and some of my mother’s friends that no one knew at all. Everyone kept walking up to us giving his or her condolences, but I was a wreck. As soon as we walked in the building and I saw her lying in that casket, I fell to pieces. She looked like she was asleep as she laid there in her dress. I could not keep my eyes off her. I wanted to remember
2015©Marlon Reid Productions
her face and every inch of this moment. I would never get to talk to her again, so see her mattered to me. Right after the memorial, everyone came over to our house for the repass. We had food for days. People were laughing and talking, reminiscing about the times they spent with my mom. Some of their stories were funny and some were very sad. I just sat in a daze as I listened to them tell their tales. My uncle David, my aunt’s husband came and sat down beside me. We talked for a few minutes and then he asked me if I wanted to take a ride with him. I looked around the room until I saw my grandmother and she nodded her in approval as we got up to leave.
2015ŠMarlon Reid Productions
A Letter to Mama Dear Mama, We were never that close, but you were close to my heart. I love you and will forever hold and keep you there. Although you did not raise me, I depended on you to brighten my days and make me smile when you did come around. I do not know why GOD chose to take you so soon, but as an adult I know that there is a reason for every season. I can see the change within myself and I know that you have been my guiding light for years. That flame that burns so deep within me will never die. Each passing year brings new memories with an added chapter to my story, but yours is the one I long to know. As your first-born son, all I was longing for was your love and I wanted to return every ounce to you. I needed you to be by side. Grandma loved me until the end of the earth, but there were things that she could not give me and that was the love of my mother. I didn’t understand it then, but now that I am a GROWN MAN and I have walked in your footsteps from the streets, I can fully understand your trials and tribulations. I now know that you made the best decisions possible to ensure that my childhood was sheltered i know that you made the best decision you had to make for me not for you it took a long time for me to understand your decision but I just want you to know that I love you and me and my brother are missing you rest well mom Barbara Reid.
2015ŠMarlon Reid Productions
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2015©Marlon Reid Productions